Toe to Toe
by Efficient Vixen
Summary: A Jake/Nessie Story dealing with friendship, romance, death, healing, growth, and religion. All Human. Primarily told in Jake and Renesmee's POV. Touches on BDSM & D/s relationships, eventually involves rare DD. MA for Lemons, Canon Pairings J/B, E/B, J/N
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human story. It is rated NC-17 for lemons. The content will touch on BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes **_**RARE**_** Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship. This will eventually be a Jake/Nessie fic, but she's just a kid at this point. Public reviews get previews of the next chapter. Please Read & Review. I'll love you forever.**

**Special thanks to my PTB betas: onlybythenight1, korinneraylie, and tsenna-true**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while.**

**Enjoy.**

Death

Jake POV

July 4th, 2008.

Bella and I visited Port Angeles to watch the fireworks and then back to La Push for a Bonfire with my friends. Late in the evening she received a call on her cell phone from Esme. She smiled and walked away from the fire. I kept an eye on her. She spoke quietly for about thirty seconds and then started sobbing suddenly. I jumped up from my seat and ran over to her. "Are they okay?" she asked. She started to collapse, hyperventilating, but I grabbed her before she hit the ground. I pried the phone from her and held her to my chest while she sobbed.

"Shh... Sweetheart, I'll take care of this," I said to Bella and then spoke into the phone, "this is Jake." I needed to figure out what happened.

"Jake, it's Esme."

"What happened? Why's Bella's so upset?"

"Renee and Phil were hit by a drunk driver while driving to pick up May. Phil passed on impact. Renee's in surgery – her chances of survival are slim."

"I understand; what's the plan?" I needed to figure out the specifics so I could take care of my girl. I remembered how I felt when Charlie came and informed us that Mom had died. I pushed aside the memory to concentrate on Bella.

"Well, obviously Bella and I need to get to Jacksonville as soon as possible to be there for Renee and May. Can you bring Bella to our place? I don't think she should be driving right now."

"No problem – we'll be there in about twenty minutes." I cradled the phone with my shoulder, lifted Bella bridal style, and walked toward my car. I needed to be strong and stay calm for Bella.

"Okay Jake, I'm going to make flight arrangements while you're on your way. Are you going with us?"

"Yeah, I think I should be there for Bells."

"Okay, I'll see you shortly."

"Wait! Did you call Charlie yet?"

"No, I called Bella as soon as I got the call. Do you want to call him or should I?"

"No. Please call him. I need to focus on Bella."

"I understand. I'll let him know." She paused. "Jake, have you been drinking tonight? I don't want you to drive if you have."

"No, we haven't had anything to drink tonight."

"Be careful."

"I will. We'll be there shortly."

"See you then, Jake, thanks." I set Bella on her feet and held her steady with one arm.

"No problem." I hung up the phone and dropped it in Bella's purse. "Bella, we're going to Esme's then we'll head out from there."

She nodded woodenly. I wasn't even sure she heard me.

I held her in a tight hug. "I'm so sorry about all this, babe. We're going to Jacksonville."

She nodded, but said nothing. She seemed to be in shock. I sat her down in the car and drove as fast as I could to her Aunt and Uncle's house. I held her hand the whole time while she cried. There was nothing I could say to comfort her.

When we arrived at Esme's house I opened the door for her. "Are you okay to walk?"

She nodded. I took her hand and we slowly walked into the house.

Bella was immediately hugged by everyone while they offered words of sympathy. The house was a flurry of activity; Esme was busy in the kitchen while Carlisle talked loudly on the phone. Emmett and I busied ourselves making sure Bella was okay, all while Alice ran around like a mad woman upstairs, packing bags. After a few moments Charlie showed up, grabbed Bella and held her tight.

Esme called to Emmett, "Em, do you mind lending Jake some clothes?"

"No, Mom, of course not."

She nodded and then turned to me. "Jake, you and Emmett head upstairs and figure out what fits you and what needs to be altered or bought in Florida."

Emmett and I headed up to his room where Alice had already laid out a suitcase and garment bag. Esme walked in moments later and grabbed four of Emmett's suits and handed them to me. "Jake, try these on. I know they'll be a bit short, but I'm hoping there is enough material for me to let out the arms and legs a couple inches."

"Okay." I took the suits and headed into the bathroom. The suits fit with the exception of the lengths of the arms and legs. I stepped out in each one for Esme to look at. After trying them all on, she looked carefully at the hems of the pants and the sleeves of the jackets. She declared that two of them would work and laid them on the garment bag with a tape measure and sewing kit. She then added the other two to the top for Emmett.

"Okay, Jake, what size shoes do you wear?" she asked.

"Thirteen," I stated.

"Em, what size are you?"

"Twelve," he replied.

"Alice," Esme called toward the hallway, "add size thirteen shoes to your list to buy."

"It's on the list now, Esme, thanks," Alice called back.

"Can you boys find some suitable casual clothes?"

We nodded.

"OK, I'll leave you to it then. I'll leave the suitcases here. Don't forget to pack sneakers and flip-flops; it's excruciatingly muggy in Jacksonville this time of the year. I need to go pack for Carlisle and I. Our flight leaves at six in the morning. Alice will take care of all toiletries and her and Bella's clothes. We need to leave the house in thirty minutes." She turned to leave the room and then spun around to say, "Jake, you should probably call Billy to let him know what's happened and ask him to let your work know that you're going out of town."

I nodded and then called Billy to let him know.

Emmett and I gathered several clothing changes and I tossed on some of his khaki shorts and a tee shirt. Alice flitted into Emmett's room a few times, gathered his toiletries, checked our packing, approved and zipped our bags, then said, "Jake, when we get to Florida, I need you to go shopping with me for shoes and dress shirts."

I nodded. I just wanted to get back downstairs to support Bella. Normally, the idea of shopping with Alice would have terrified me, but there were bigger things to worry about.

I got back downstairs and Bella was seated with Charlie on the couch. Carlisle was holding out a pill to her.

"Bella, this is a Xanax. I'll write you a prescription but I'll give you one now and one on the flight; it will help you calm down and hopefully help you to sleep. We can get the prescription filled in Florida if you need."

She took the pill and the water from him and swallowed it.

"Sweetheart, we will take care of you and May. We need to leave now to make it to the airport in time. Charlie is staying here for now," Carlisle explained as he hugged her gently.

I waited by Bella's side while she said goodbye to Charlie.

Charlie looked up at me and said, "Take care of my girl, Jake. She'll need your support."

"I will, Charlie," I stated simply.

I walked Bella out to the car and settled into the back with her. We all settled in for the four hour ride, Esme handed out snacks for those who wanted to eat but most everyone slept. Carlisle spoke to me softly during the drive and told me to be sure to sleep on the plane since I would need some sleep to take the upcoming stress. No one had told May yet; they had decided it would be better to break the news in person. I promised to get some sleep.

Alice saw a store at Sea-Tac and dragged me in there to buy shoes, dress shirts, and boxers. I didn't even glance at the stuff she grabbed me. I didn't care much, but it meant I would be more available for Bella in Florida. I slept through the flight with Bella snoozing against me. I concentrated on making sure Bella was okay every time I woke up. I made sure she was fed and comfortable. I didn't know how bad things would get in Jacksonville; I was worried about everyone's stress levels and especially Bella's. I just kept reminding myself that I could take care of her.

~*O*~

Renesmee (May) POV

Jacksonville, July 5th afternoon

Last night my Mom and Dad never made it to pick me up from Cindy's house. Her parents received a call around two am, a couple hours after Mom and Dad were supposed to pick me up and let me know that something had come up and I would be spending the night. In the morning they seemed very sad and suggested Cindy and I spend the day in the pool. A bit before five pm Cindy's mom called us in and told us to get dressed for dinner.

At five-fifteen, Cindy's mom answered the door and I saw my aunt, uncle, and sister with the rest of their family behind them. I could tell from their faces something was wrong. I froze.

Bella and Aunt Esme came over and circled me in a hug.

Aunt Esme spoke softly, "Renesmee, sweetheart, your mom and dad were in an accident last night. Your mom is in the hospital. She had surgery this morning and may need more surgeries. We need to bring you to see her."

"What about Daddy?" I asked. Bella was breathing heavily as if she was holding back tears.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie, but your daddy didn't make it." I collapsed in their arms, sobbing. "We came as soon as we could. We need to go to the hospital and check on your mom."

Emmett came over and picked me up walking to the car. I sat in the back with Bella and her boyfriend, Jake. She held onto me while we cried. Uncle Carl drove us to the hospital and we went to the ICU.

Aunt Esme, Bella, and I went in to visit Mommy. She was pale and cold and her face was stitched in multiple places. She was hooked to a breathing machine and had wires and tubes all over her.

I just kept saying, "Mommy, you need to be okay. I love you, Mommy. I need you." I prayed to God, Jesus, and Mary that she would be okay. I needed her to come back to me.

I took my Rosary out of my purse and carefully wrapped it around Mommy's hand. I was praying the Rosary in my head. Esme asked if I wanted her beads and if I wanted the family to join me. I said I did, she told me the doctors needed to look in on Mom and we would go say the Rosary as a family in the waiting room.

Alice went to buy Rosaries and handed them to everyone while Esme began explaining the process. Esme led us all through the various prayers and gave a book to Emmett and Alice to read the prayers from. She then asked me which mysteries I wanted us to pray, "May, do you want to do the Joyful, Luminous, Sorrowful, or Glorious mysteries?"

"Can we do them all or is that too much for everyone?"

"How about we do one as a family first, and then anyone who wants to keep praying with us can stay for the other three? We can start with the Luminous mysteries for hope," she suggested gently.

I nodded in agreement.

Esme explained that the Luminous mysteries exist to recall that Jesus is the Light of the World and we hope for Jesus' light to shine upon us and all people. After we prayed with everyone, Esme suggested that she, I, and anyone else who wanted to join us pray aloud in Mommy's room now that the doctors were done while Carlisle got a full report on Mommy's condition. Jake and Bella joined us in the room to pray the Joyful, Sorrowful, and Glorious Mysteries.

When we were done Uncle Carl asked us to join him in the waiting area so he could explain what was going on with Mommy.

Uncle Carl began, "Renee got here at about one am and she was immediately rushed to surgery. She sustained multiple broken bones but they were more concerned about her internal injuries. She had a ruptured spleen and several of her ribs were broken. She also has a head injury, which is causing brain swelling. She had a reaction to the anesthetic and her lungs filled with fluid while she was under. She is in a coma for now and will remain that way until she can at least breathe on her own. Her chances of survival are not good and there's a strong possibility that even if she regains her ability to breathe that the brain swelling will have caused permanent, irreparable damage and possible brain death. I am so sorry, but I need you all to hang in there for each other and hope for the best." Bella and I both collapsed into each others' arms and cried.

"How long until we know, Carlisle?" Esme asked.

"If we don't see the swelling go down in two to three days, they will run brain function tests and we will know more." Carlisle came over and gently hugged my sister and me. "Don't give up hope, girls."

The next two days were torture. Everyone supported Bella and me, and we all prayed together. Bella and Esme took the time to visit Daddy's remains in the morgue. Esme offered to bring me as well, but I didn't think I could see Daddy dead; I wanted to remember him the way he lived not the way he died. I learned that a drunk driver was responsible and was arrested for killing my Daddy. Jake told me that he lost his Mom when he was a kid, and if I ever wanted to talk he would be there for me. Emmett and Alice tried to distract me, but I just needed to be with Mommy whenever I could. We stayed at my house and spent fifteen to eighteen hours a day at the hospital with Mommy.

On the third day, Uncle Carl sat down with us again and explained the test results.

"Bella, May, Renee's tests showed no brain function. They weren't able to get the swelling to go down. I am so sorry girls. We can keep her on life support for a while, but she won't recover." I was numb, I couldn't even react. "Bella, I am sorry to put you in this position, but legally you are the next of kin, since Renee and Phil had no will and no other relatives besides us. You can make the decision or Esme and I can make it with your permission."

"No!" I screamed. "We need to wait! We need a priest!"

Esme scooped me up into a hug and spoke, "Of course we'll get a priest, sweetheart, and you'll have plenty of time to say goodbye, but eventually we all need to let go."

"May," Carlisle asked, "what parish do you and your parents attend? I'll get a priest over as soon as possible."

"Immaculate Conception," I answered automatically.

"Okay, dear, why don't you and Bella go in and spend some time with Renee. Bella, let me know what you want to do when you are ready; I know this is hard," Uncle Carl said softly as he left the room.

A few hours later a priest came and administered last rights and prayed with us. He advised Bella and I about last rights and offered to come back and pray with us when we were ready to let go of Mommy. Bella and I talked and agreed to let her go the next day after everyone had some private time to say goodbye. Everyone would have whatever time they needed with Mommy the next day and then we would all say goodbye in the afternoon and let her pass at sunset because Mom loved sunsets.

I spent an hour in private telling Mom what a great mother she was and how amazing she was. I talked about the dreams we had and my plan to live life to the fullest and to always keep her and Daddy in my heart. I told her how much I loved her and how I would never forget her.

That evening we gathered with the family and the priest. The doctor came in and turned off the breathing machine as the sun was setting. A few minutes later he said, "Time of death, 8:32 pm, July eighth, 2008."

"Goodbye, Mommy!" I cried out while someone carried me out.

~*O*~

JPOV

The fourth day in Jacksonville, we said goodbye to Renee. I couldn't believe the strength the girls displayed. I remembered losing my mom, and while I wish I had extra time to say goodbye to her, I can't even imagine making the decisions Bella and May were making. Bella took May's input into consideration, but ultimately she made all of the decisions. She was so strong and I was just helping support them both. Bella needed me, but she was much more worried about her little sister than herself. When May broke down as Renee passed, I picked her up and carried her from the room. She had already witnessed so much and I remembered what she had said the other day about how she didn't want her last memory of her father to be him laying in the morgue. I knew Bella needed more time to say goodbye and May needed to be a kid. She needed someone else to take the burden and carry her for a while, like my sisters carried me when my mom passed. I brought her to the waiting room and held her while she cried. Emmett and Alice followed me out shortly after and offered to take her, but I just shook my head and waited for Bella.

Bella was the last one to leave her mom's side. She wrapped her arms around both May and I and thanked me. I just told her I knew how it felt and would always be there for her and that I loved her.

Carlisle called the attorneys to inquire if Renee and Phil had a will while Esme worked on making funeral arrangements and notifying friends and co-workers. Emmett and I spent what time wasn't spent helping Esme or Alice comforting and distracting Bella and May.

Carlisle learned that Renee and Phil did not have a will. Bella was Renee's next of kin and May was Phil's only living relative, but she wasn't old enough legally, so Esme and Bella would have to make the decisions for May. Technically, Bella became May's legal guardian but she didn't know if she was ready to care for a twelve year old when she was only nineteen. Bella asked Esme to be the primary caregiver for May until she could fully commit to taking care of May. Esme happily agreed, but made Bella promise not to drop out of college so she could support her little sister. Bella and May would split the proceeds of any assets with one-quarter going to Bella and three-quarters going into a trust for May to access after she came of age. The split was decided on because Bella wanted to make sure May would be the only beneficiary of Phil's assets. Esme packed up May's belonging and any other belongings that May or Bella wanted to keep. She then cataloged the remainder of the household for sale to an auction house. I was somewhat surprised by Esme and Alice's efficiency at the task of inventorying and packing, but Esme said she and Renee had done this many times as her elder relatives passed away over the years. Esme made arrangements with the auction house to sell the estate a month later when she could return to Jacksonville and oversee the sale of all items.

The wake was held on July tenth, the Funeral Mass was held on the eleventh, and the family decided Renee and Phil would be buried in Forks so that May and Bella could visit anytime, so the burial would be held on the twelfth. Charlie came to town for the wake and funeral. Phil and Renee had hundreds of friends who came to pay their respects. I just hovered by the girls to prevent them from being overwhelmed by the friends of their parents. All viewings were closed casket because of the extent of the injuries and for May's comfort.

The girls once again amazed me with their strength. They were cordial and polite to every person they spoke to and Bella had no emotional breakdowns. I had to escort May from the room a couple of times to give her some space away from people, but for a girl of her age she was amazingly strong. I made sure to make time to pray every day with May because she needed someone who was happy to pray with her and who understood and believed in her faith. I knew Bells would pray with her, but I also knew Bells didn't really believe in her mom's religion, which was one of the reasons she left Jacksonville to come to Forks. May was like a little sister to me and if I could, I would make it so that she was officially my little sister one day.

Carlisle and Esme gave May a cell phone with all of our numbers in it so she could call us anytime she wanted. We were all healing and supporting each other. Every day May would call me at six am and eight pm to say a Rosary together. Some evenings we would pray together at the house since Bella was staying there to support May during the summer. On Sundays I brought May to St. Anne's Catholic Church in Forks while Esme and Carlisle attended St. Andrew's Episcopal Church in Port Angeles. Bella usually made us brunch afterward at Charlie's house since she didn't attend religious services. May and I spent a lot of time talking about the loss of her parents and my mom.

At the end of summer, I moved in to Alice and Bella's apartment in Seattle. I began school at South Seattle Community College studying Automotive Repair with a minor in Business. I was planning on opening my own repair shop when I finished my degree. Bella and Alice were in their junior years at UW. Bella was studying Journalism and Alice was studying Communications, so many of their classes were the same. I was also working at a Seattle garage twenty hours a week. Alice worked as an intern at a wedding planning firm and Bella was working as an intern at the Seattle times.

May and I still prayed together twice a day over the phone and Bella and I went home for the weekends so we could visit our families. May and I kept attending Mass together. Bella was happy someone could join May and May wouldn't have to feel guilty about dragging Esme to church while the rest of the family attended a different church. So even though Bella and I moved to Seattle, we still managed to provide stability for her sister.

~*O*~

Mid December 2008

Since Phil and Renee passed my sex life had been virtually nonexistent. I knew Bella needed time and space, so I did my best to be the supportive boyfriend she needed, but damn I was lucky if we had sex twice a month. Before we always made time at least twice a week, even when she lived in Seattle and I was in La Push. I tried to be romantic several times over the fall after her parents death, making her meals, giving her massages, playfully approaching her. The majority of the time she would blow me off and say she didn't have time or was too tired or had a headache.

I finally decided we needed to talk about it in December since finals were over and we were heading home for a few weeks. I started kissing her neck when I walked in the house.

"Mmmm..." she moaned.

_Maybe we wouldn't need to talk._

"I love you," I whispered in her ear.

"Jake," she whispered, "we don't have time right now. We need to get the apartment closed up for the break."

_Damn it! We did need to talk and now I had a fucking hard on. _

I pulled away and sighed in frustration. "Bella, we need to talk."

"What about?"

"This!"

"What do you mean?"

_How could she not see it?_ I groaned. "Bella, how can you not see it? Our relationship is falling apart."

"Excuse me!" she huffed at me. "Just because I say no to sex one time you claim our relationship is falling apart. What the fuck, Jake!"

_One time? What. The. Fuck!_ Now I was livid.

"Not just one time Bella!" I sighed in frustration, trying to keep my temper in check. "Do you know how many times we've had sex since July?"

"No... I don't keep count," she sneered.

"Take a guess," I demanded

"I don't know probably about once a week." She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

"No, Bells, not even close," I said shaking my head despondently.

"Well, since it seems _so important_ to you, how many times have we then?" she snapped snidely.

I spoke slowly and forcefully, "Once in August, once on your birthday in September, twice in October, and once in November. I've also gone down on you twice since July. That's about all the action we've had since July." I held up one hand to add emphasis. "Five times, Bella, and twice at third base in five and a half months."

"Are you sure?" she asked, obviously shocked.

I nodded and rubbed my hand over my face. I really hated having to confront her about this, but I was tired of not connecting with her.

"I knew I was less interested, but I didn't think it was that bad." Her lip was starting to quiver. She was stopping herself from crying.

I instantly felt bad for making her sad. "Bella, I'm not saying this to make you feel bad or guilty. I want to know what is going on. I need you to talk to me so we can fix it. I love you." I reached out and pulled her into a hug. "Bells, we've been together three years and I don't want to throw that away. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to fix our relationship. I love you more than anything."

"I love you too, Jake," she tightened her arms around my waist.

"Okay, so what's going on with you?" I asked gently. "We haven't talked as much as we used to since your mom died. I'm trying my hardest to give you what you need."

"I'm just having trouble opening up since Mom died."

I stepped back to make eye contact, but kept my hands on her shoulders. "I know, sweetheart, please just talk to me about it. I tried being closer, asking about every detail of your life, but that didn't work to get you to open up to me, I tried backing off and giving you space, but you didn't get any better, so now I am trying the direct approach. Just tell me how you feel."

"I am fucking angry!" she snapped. I hoped she was just finally getting this out and that she wasn't that pissed at me.

"Okay," I said gently. "Who are you angry at?"

"The driver because he had to go out and drink that night," she ranted. "I'm angry at everyone; I'm mad at Charlie for being a bastard to my mom so she left him and moved on to Phil. I'm mad at Phil for not being able to avoid the accident. I'm angry at Mom for leaving me. I'm pissed at myself for not staying in Jacksonville when I was a teenager. I could have had so many more years with her." I could tell she wasn't done.

"Anyone else?"

"Yeah!" she raged, "I'm angry at my sister who doesn't deserve any anger. She's just a little girl."

"What are you angry at her about?" I pressed, knowing she needed to get it all off her chest even if it was hard.

"For being the reason my mom went out that night. Why couldn't she just stay at home with Mom and Phil?" She sobbed.

"Is that everything?" I asked.

"No," she said quietly.

"I know you're angry at me too. Just tell me; I can take it."

"I'm angry at you because somehow even with all of us grieving you always seem happy. I'm angry at you because you're bringing light into my world when I want darkness." She balled her hands into fists. "I'm angry you're spending time with my little sister. I'm angry that you have faith even after everything that happened in Florida. I'm angry you're encouraging my baby sister to believe in a God who let us down when he took my mom."

I was a little confused. "Do you want me to stop doing those things?" I asked softly.

"No, I want you to do all those things, but for some reason I'm pissed that you can and I can't." The gates on her emotions had been released and she broke down, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Let it out." I held her and rubbed her back. "It's okay. You need to be angry sometimes." I just soothed her until she quieted. "So do you want to talk about any of that more in depth? I have some things to say if you're ready to listen."

"Yeah, I guess."

I pulled two chairs out from the table and put them face to face with about a foot and a half between them. "In my house we call the position of these chairs, 'going toe to toe.' Take a seat." She sat in one and I sat in the other. "It forces you to make eye contact and deal with your problems head on. Dad used to make the twins and I do it whenever we had a fight. He said it was a rule Mom instituted that she learned from an old married couple who did it at least once a month, since they both were too passive to deal with their issues otherwise."

She nodded.

"Anyway," I began, "let me explain my attitude for the past few months. I'm never gonna be the kind of person to fall into a deep depression and mourn publicly. I did it once, when my mom died, but eventually I realized it wasn't gonna get me anywhere and I better start finding the bright side of things or I was gonna be miserable forever.

"Rebecca let her grief eat her alive and finally she had to run from La Push rather than deal with the pain from the loss of our mom. Rachel wasn't much better. She was always sad, but eventually she threw herself into school and just kept so busy that she didn't have time to be sad. I choose to find happiness because that's what my mom would want me to do. I like being able to determine my own path and push the people I love to choose their paths as well.

"Happiness can be found in even the darkest times if you just know where to look. Phil and Renee's deaths were a tragic accident and the only person at fault for those deaths is the drunk driver. If I only looked at the negative I would be upset too. It is truly sad that those beautiful lives were cut short and that you and May unfairly lost the time you should have had with them both. However, I think you may have missed some important things during the death and the funeral because you were so busy being strong for everyone. Bella, did you notice how many hundreds of people came to show their love for Phil and Renee in Jacksonville? Did you see how much effort Carlisle, Emmett, and Alice put into saying prayers they don't believe in to support May in her time of need? Alice is a Baptist and Carlisle and Emmett are Episcopalians. They don't believe in the Hail Mary, much less Hail Holy Queen, but they never uttered a complaint. You were raised in a faith you don't put much stock in, but my Dad always says once a Catholic always a Catholic. You at least respect the prayers and understand them. May needed that support and everyone in the room willingly set aside their personal beliefs to support her. Do you even know how much money Carlisle and Esme spent without ever mentioning it? Those plane tickets were first class; they're around $1500 a piece and they bought six in one direction and seven for the return. That is more money than I make in a year and they did that for you without a second thought; and that was just the cost of the flights. You also may not have considered how the funeral arrangements were financed, but what you didn't see was that Carlisle took care of all of it. He said that he wanted all the money from the estate, insurance policies, and any future settlements to go to you girls. I also noticed about twenty-five flower arrangements at the funeral parlor and church from friends and coworkers who came to pay their respects. You and May are loved. I saw that during our time in Jacksonville. I always knew you were both loved, but I certainly witnessed it then.

"People loved Phil and Renee and they love you and May too.

"You can't change the decisions you've already made, like choosing to live with your dad. You shouldn't live with regrets. You should accept the things that happened and move forward, learning and growing from those decisions and events. You made a choice when you were thirteen to come live in Forks. You made that choice because you didn't want to go to a catholic high school and your mom didn't want you exposed to drugs and drinking at the public school. You made that choice and I'd hope that you're happy with the things you gained from that choice.

"You gained quality time with your dad. You gained two best friends in me and Alice. You developed a stronger relationship with your Aunt and Uncle. You still had an excellent relationship with your mom and you got to go to public school in a small environment with your dad as chief of police. You weren't forced to hold onto a faith you didn't believe in and your mom and step-dad were so proud of you.

"Where would Alice be if you hadn't come to Forks and met her that first day of school? Do you really think that she would've had some other friend to turn to when her parents were arrested and convicted? Esme and Carlisle only wanted to adopt her because you told them about what happened. How many other couples would've been happy to take in a fifteen year old girl whose parents had just been accused of drug trafficking by the FBI? She could've ended up stuck in the system and permanently damaged but you saved her, Bella. That decision to come to Forks when you were thirteen saved Alice. Would you trade mine and Alice's friendship for more time in Jacksonville when you weren't happy there? Your mom loved you and supported the decision you made; she even sent May here for entire summers to stay with Carlisle and Esme so you two could spend summers together.

"Do you understand all that?"

"Yeah, I guess I just hadn't considered it all that way." She sighed. "Now what are we going to do about us?" She raised her eyes at me.

"Bells, I love you and I'm just happy we could finally talk. I'll give you all the time you need to deal with this if you just keep the communication lines open. I can wait for sex if you need more time."

"No, Jake, I think we need to make love tonight. I need to take care of you tonight. You took care of me for the last several months." She stood up and walked toward the bedroom. She glanced over her shoulder, "You coming?" I was so excited I leaped out of the chair and knocked over the other in my rush to get to her. I focused on her ass swaying in her tight jeans, imagining how good it would feel to finally sink deep inside her tight pussy.

When I got to the bedroom I pulled Bella into my arms and she wiggled her ass against me. I was already getting hard. I kissed her neck and shoulders from behind.

I growled into her ear, "I need you, Bells."

"I know." She leaned her body against me.

"Fuck, Bells." I slid my hands under her tank top and palmed her tits.

"Mmmm..." she moaned while continuing to rub against my cock. She spun in my arms and kissed me passionately. I rubbed her back and licked her lips. She dropped away from my lips and began kissing down my jaw. She lifted my shirt for me to take off. I removed it while her kisses trailed lower. She kissed down my chest and abs while her hands worked at my belt and pants. She finally released my pants and dragged my zipper down with her hands at the same time her lips kissed just below my navel.

"Oh – Bella – you are so fucking hot. Can you take your shirt off so I can see your tits while you do this?"

She removed her tank top and bra and went back to kissing and licking my abs while she worked my boxers down my legs. She settled onto her knees in front of me and took my cock in her soft hands and started stroking it.

"Mmm... Jake you are so big. I want to do so many things to you..." She stared at my cock practically worshiping it. "Jake... tell me what you want..."

"I want you to suck my fucking cock now!" She took my member into her hot wet mouth and looked up at me while her hands continued to touch my balls, legs and abs. "Ohhh... Bella!"

"Mmmm..." she hummed around my dick. I grabbed her hair into a ponytail so I could see her and guide her. She relaxed her throat and took me in deeper until her nose was buried in my hair.

"Oh! Fuck, babe! You have no idea how good that feels." She worked me in and out of her mouth while she ran her tongue hard against the underside of my shaft and head; all the way, in and out, over and over. I started to push her deeper and faster. She remained relaxed and let me control the pace. She massaged my balls with her hand. I could feel my muscles starting to tense and the pressure building in my abs and balls. "Bells... I'm gonna cum!" I moaned. She hummed and increased her suction and the speed of her tongue while maintaining her thrusting pace.

I released into her mouth and she kept sucking and swallowing until she had sucked me dry.

I picked her up off the floor and laid her on the bed and held her for a few minutes. I drew soft circles on her breasts while we both caught our breath. "Bells, Babe, what do you want to do this time? Your choice, I need to reward you for that fucking awesome blow job."

"I need to be dominated tonight. Please tie me up and fuck me hard."

I moaned. I really didn't want to be rough tonight, but if that's what she needed I'd give it to her. I drew circles on her nipples and kissed her, thinking about what I wanted to do tonight. If it were up to me we'd make slow, passionate love, but she needed me to be hard. We had rough sex a couple times a month before her mom died and I knew that was how she liked it. I made a plan then got up. Then reminded her of our safe word, "Say, 'Red,' if I get too rough, Babe."

"Of course." She smiled seductively.

I headed over to the dresser and got out some silk cords we kept for this purpose. I saw the blindfold beside the cords so I grabbed that too. "Take the rest of your clothes off, Bells, and then I'll take control." She removed her pants and underwear. She lay across our bed totally relaxed.

I took her head, smoothed down her hair and slid the blindfold on. She sighed contentedly. I raised her arms above her head to bind her wrists together and tie them to the center of the headboard. I then took each of her legs and tied them to the corners at the foot of the bed.

"I love looking at you like this laid out and glistening for me. I know you want me, but I think I need to hear you say it with those slutty lips."

"I need you to fuck me, Jacob."

"Who do you belong to, slut?"

"You."

"Say my name, slut!" I commanded.

"Jacob Black. I belong to Jacob Black," she called out. I started gently kissing and nipping at her tits. Her nipples went hard immediately. I rolled her nipple hard between my teeth until she cried out and then I moved to the other. I teased her pussy with my fingers gently. I stroked her soft wet lips and circled her clit until she was whimpering in need.

"My, my! You are so wet, my little slut. I bet you can't wait for my cock to fill that tight little pussy."

"I need you in my pussy... Please... I need you in me... I love you so much and I need you to fuck me so bad... It's been too long, Jake... Please give me what I need," she begged.

I went to the foot of the bed and released the knots on the foot posts. I pushed her a bit toward the headboard and flipped her over so she was on her stomach. I lifted her hips so she was kneeling with her upper body stretched out and her chest against the bed. I blew on her pussy lips. She shuddered.

"Stay in this position or I'll tie your legs up, slut?"

"I can stay."

"Good. You've been a naughty little slut. Do you think I should show you what naughty sluts get?"

"Whatever you want to give me or do to me."

I spanked her a few times across the ass and then thrust into her quickly. "That's what I think you need!"

She was so incredibly tight since we hadn't had sex in over a month. "Fuck! You're so fucking tight! I've missed you so fucking much." I kept pounding a punishing rhythm into her pussy. I bit her shoulder while I fucked her and she cried out. I controlled her pace, her position, and her pleasure. I would alternate between fast and slow, bringing her to the edge of orgasm and then backing off. After about thirty minutes we were both sweating and moaning and I wrapped my arm around and began to rub her clit. She climbed steadily toward her orgasm and finally tightened around my throbbing, thrusting cock. I felt her release and I released into her a second later while she was still pulsing around me.

I held her until we both relaxed and then pulled out and untied her rubbing her wrists and ankles gently.

"I love you, Babe."

"I love you too, Jake."

We kissed and cuddled until we heard Alice enter the apartment a while later. We got up and helped get the apartment cleaned up and shut down for break.

The next several months went better. We maintained our routines, but Bella and I talked more and had more sex. She seemed to be getting better emotionally, but I noticed she preferred to be restrained or dominated most of the time. We rarely made love and when we did it was my idea. She seemed to have shifted from no sex to rough sex and fucking in her interests. I enjoyed the sex and the power rush immensely, but sometimes I wondered if I could ever be happy with Bella if she didn't want to connect in a truly loving way. May and I were becoming close friends and it was nice having a little sister in my life. I had always been the baby in my family so it was nice to be able to be a role model for a kid. I was helping her work through her grieving and in many ways she was helping me finally be able to deal with some of the issues I hadn't dealt with from my mom's death.


	2. Parties and Graduations

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes **_**RARE**_** Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship.**

**Warning: There is graphic BDSM content in this chapter, including a threesome. There will not be another graphically describe threesome in the entire story, but it is essential to the development of the story and the characters.**

Special thanks to ProjectTeamBeta for all your help, and especially onlybythenight1, lindsey21412, and ruthperk. Special thanks to my other prereaders as well: Smallrain, PemberlyRose, TwilightCakes, and Sawny94 You girls help so much!

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while.**

JPOV

Almost eighteen months had passed since Bella's mom and step-dad died. Bella seemed okay; we were still working on our relationship, but we were making an effort to stay connected. Bella's definition of "staying connected" involved regular sex, whereas mine involved honest, open communication and quality time spent together.

I was at least able to help May deal with her grief and issues. The kid was lonely. She'd left every friend she'd ever had back in Florida. Her parents were extremely religious people and she felt the need to carry that on, but she had no one in her family to turn to. Esme was trying to honor Carlisle's faith and balance that with her niece's need to honor her parents' faith. It was a fucked up situation. I prayed once a day when Mom was alive, but that quickly fell by the wayside after she died. Mom's asshole parents didn't believe in God and then Billy was too fucked up when he finally came out of the hospital after the accident to put any energy into getting us to church. Mom was the only one who ever pushed my sisters and me to believe, when she died, so did religion. We only went to church with Uncle Quil and Aunt Ray, but only because they said Mom would want us there at least on holidays.

I'd returned to the church so Bella's kid sister wouldn't feel bad about dragging a family member along when they didn't want to go. I'd even taken up praying again. _My mother must be smiling down from heaven watching this little girl bring me back to her faith. _I'd been following the superstitious rituals for years only because they were reminders of Mom. I'd, oddly enough, put rosaries in every room in the apartment I shared with Bella and Alice even when I was just going through the motions with May, because somehow my mother had ingrained in me that a house wasn't safe unless there were rosaries everywhere. After Renee and Phil died, I put on a show for a while for May's benefit and I even managed to convince Bella I was a believer, but now I feel like Mom is finally getting her way and I'm actually beginning to believe again. _What the fuck? Is this what employers mean when they say 'fake it 'til you make it?' _My life was so fucked up sometimes.

Somehow, the only kid May really connected with at her school was Seth Clearwater. Seth was the son of one of the elders in our tribe. I almost laughed when I realized that they were the only two eighth graders I knew. I wondered if they even knew that each had lost parents, that they lived closer to each other than either lived to the school, or that they each knew me and my family.

The only things in my life that were really going well were school and work. Billy was constantly pushing me to bury the hatchet with my mom's parents, but those people were so evil I couldn't imagine it. Billy and I argued it every weekend when I visited. I didn't understand why he kept pushing me. He never gave my sisters, Rachel or Rebecca, grief about their choices not to talk to the evil mother fuckers. Apparently, I needed to be reminded all the time that blood was blood and I couldn't just walk away from them regardless of what they'd done to me and my family.

~*O*~

I'd do anything for Bella. Hell, I'd even gone back to church so she wouldn't have to deal with her sister in turmoil. I was trying to figure out what more I could do to fix our relationship. I wanted more from her than sex. I wanted love, not lip service to love. I began to wonder if maybe she wanted to explore the BDSM lifestyle beyond our playful dabbling that mimicked porn. I decided we needed to go to some BDSM munches or parties to figure out if that is really what she wants. I'd do anything to make her happy, but I still wanted to be able to make love to my girl. I didn't want to just fuck her every time.

I found a munch in the Seattle area and asked Bella if she wanted to go and chat with some folks about the lifestyle; a munch is an introductory lunch meet and greet for people interested in BDSM. She agreed so in January, we found ourselves at a munch in a private room of a bar and grill in Seattle, eating burgers and chatting with BDSM enthusiasts.

We socialized and it didn't take long for us to figure out that what Bella and I needed was some instruction in Dominant/submissive relationships. She needed to submit to really experience fulfillment and apparently I needed to dominate. It seemed like the problem was that I gave her too much power in our relationship in my efforts to keep her happy, when I was actually doing the opposite. I've been taking control in the bedroom, but not in the rest of our lives. We got information about an instructional play party in February and we picked up some books about the lifestyle.

Bella and I had been together almost five years. _ I love her. She's my best friend, but what do I do if I can't get to a place where we jive emotionally? I need her to love me as much as I love her. What if she can't? I know she has trust issues, but I've never given her any reason to doubt me. _

~*O*~

February, 2010

We got dressed for the play party. I wore black jeans and a tee-shirt. Bella wore a mini black dress and her hair up in a high pony tail. I could tell she didn't have any undergarments on because the dress was skin tight. I was hard just from the sight of her; I needed to claim her before the party, so I fucked her up against the wall as soon as I saw her. I kept it quick and we arrived at ten o' clock on the dot.

We introduced ourselves to the hostess; she walked us and a group of other newcomers through the rules for the evening. She said that most of the instructors would be wearing masks, since this is an introductory party and they need to maintain confidentiality with dabblers. She told us that there would be four scenes running at a time and that we were free to view any of them. We were told not to make contact with other party goers unless we knew them and ladies and submissives should always be the first to offer contact, if desired. Everyone had the right to refuse contact without anyone taking offense since many players are only permitted to make contact with their partner's permission. There would be eight scenes shown in total, and then an after scene potluck to talk with the instructors and seek advice. We were never to interrupt a scene or touch equipment for any reason at this party. The hostess looked around the room to make sure that she'd made the rules extremely clear.

The first scene we viewed was a Dom spanking his sub. We had already explored that so we moved onto another scene. The second scene involved a Dom using several different toys to bring pleasure and pain to the woman bound to the table. Another scene had a man playing a dog in a cage with his head out so he could eat out his Dominatrix. The last scene had a woman hanging from the ceiling between two men; one butt fucked her while the other pounded into her pussy.

"Bella, what scene do you want to watch?" I whispered as she stood entranced by the double penetration scene. I was a bit surprised by her obvious interest in the scene, since I'd never gotten any inkling that she was interested in threesomes.

"The second one, but this is interesting too," she admitted.

I kissed her just under her ear and whispered, "Bella, I think we'll both get more from the second scene, another time we can watch something like this."

"Really, Jake?" she asked doubtfully, as if she was thinking this would be her only chance to watch a double penetration scene.

"Mmmhmm... Let's move back to the other scene for now."

We returned to the second scene and watched that to completion. The Dom began with a soft flogger to his sub's pussy and worked his way up to a hard cane. He alternated his strokes between soft and hard in varying places and she seemed on the verge of cumming several times but her Dom ordered her to hold it.

I found myself wondering if I could really control the timing of Bella's orgasms. I wondered what it would be like to truly have absolute control over her and to be able to order her to either wait or release as I desired, rather than to follow her body's signals and simply give her the order when her body told me it was ready. That would be such an amazing rush.

The hostess came and gathered everyone to talk about the nature of a Dom/sub relationship. She explained collaring in great detail. Some couples may live happily in a Dom/sub relationship and never use a collar, others feel it is a fundamental component of the lifestyle. Collars come in a variety of forms including: obvious steel slave collars, leather dog collars, chastity belts and devices, tattoos, brands, and discreet necklaces and bracelets that are treated as collars.

We watched another session of scenes and found ourselves returning to the instructor we had been fascinated by earlier. He put nipple clamps and a blindfold on her then started to use candle wax and ice. He dribbled wax and rubbed it in, then randomly switched to ice in a new location. He reminded her sternly that this was punishment and she would not be permitted to orgasm that night. I was amazed by the way he controlled his subs. Bella seemed to be enjoying the scene and I would have to remember it for home.

Bella and I reunited when the sessions were over to eat and socialize with other party goers and the instructors. We both wanted to talk to the one instructor who was in both scenes we had watched. He and I talked for a while and he told me that what I needed was a mentor and that if Bella and I stayed in the circle through a few more parties and progressed up to a party without masks, then he would share his information with us and would mentor me if we were still interested at that point. He assured us that the issue is trust and the community values confidentiality. All the instructors have careers and would rather not have their reputations tarnished by rumors.

Bella and I enjoyed our home play time a bit more and our relationship seemed to turn a corner. I limited play to two days a week and normal sex on the other days. I also worked harder on being in control during our play and providing the kinds of stimulation she craved. We went to a couple more parties between February and July.

~*O*~

Bella, Alice, and Emmett all got their Bachelor's Degrees in May and I got my Associate's at the same time. Carlisle, Esme, and May attended all three graduations, which luckily, were all held on different days.

Bella was offered a job at the Seattle Times when she graduated, and I was still saving money for my garage. I'd saved $40,000 over the years, since I was sixteen. I figured I needed to double that amount to be able to get a loan to open a garage, so I knew I needed more time to save then I'd originally planned. Carlisle and Esme offered to invest with me or help me get a loan, but I needed to make something of myself and do this on my own. I had plenty of time; I was only twenty-one after all. My degree had already resulted in a pay raise and full time hours at the garage in Seattle.

Alice moved out in May to live with her boyfriend, Jasper Whitlock, a child psychologist at Seattle Children's Hospital. He proposed in June and they planned an engagement party for the end of July to give his family had time to fly from New York for the party.

We all arrived in the morning for the engagement party. Alice wanted all hands on deck to assist with decorations first thing in the morning. Emmett and I were in charge of moving furniture and stringing lights. The girls were handling the cooking and interior decorating. We wrapped up all the prep around five, and Alice had set clothes out for all of us to change into after we cleaned up. At six, we were all ready to meet Jasper's friends and family.

Jasper arrived with his mom, dad, his sister, Rosalie, and his best friend, Dr. Edward Masen. Edward was an ER resident at the same hospital as Jasper. We all engaged in polite conversations during dinner and hung out shooting the breeze after. At the end of the party, Edward asked to speak to me on the porch. I was a bit surprised. I didn't really have much in common with him, but headed out anyway.

"Jacob, you don't recognize me, but I recognize you and Bella. We've met before," he began. I tried to think of where I could know him from, but nothing rang a bell. "My real life doesn't give any hints toward my recreational activities." I took a hard look at his eyes; they were the same green of the Dom who offered to mentor me in February.

"Seriously? You were one of the instructors at the parties?" I asked, carefully keeping my voice low.

He nodded; obviously neither of us wanted to openly discuss the lifestyle at Alice and Jasper's engagement party.

"Here's my card," he said, handing me a business card. "It has my cell number on it. Feel free to give me a call if you're still looking for a mentor. We'll set something up."

"Thanks, man. I need to talk to Bella about it first."

"Of course."

~*O*~

The next week, I discussed it with Bella and she wanted to learn what we could from him. She was surprised that he was the same man we'd met at the parties. I called him and set up a time for us all to meet the next Wednesday. He explained that he currently was working with an un-collared sub. They weren't interested in a monogamous relationship, but they both enjoyed playing together. She was happy to participate in our lessons. The four of us met Wednesday night to discuss limits, safe words, and free spaces.

Edward suggested some one-on-one training sessions. He would scene with me as the sub to teach pain play and chastisement. He explained that those sessions wouldn't be sexual, but in order to become a good Dom you need to understand the purpose and pleasure of pain and control from the perspective of the sub. He also wanted to do some instruction of me with his sub so that she could help me learn the limits of my strength. Finally, he'd watch and instruct me in scenes with Bella.

Edward and I discussed some of the things I wanted to try with Bella. He helped me work on ways to control Bella's orgasms.

"Jacob, no matter what you've watched in my sessions, remember I don't control my subs. They control themselves and I simply guide them through the process. The submission is in their willingness to allow me to give that order and then obey it." Edward paused before continuing, "Orgasm control is one of the hardest things for a sub to master. It's not that she doesn't want to follow your commands, it's just that she doesn't have enough motivation and desire to delay her physiological needs for psychological reasons."

"So, how do you train your subs to respond to you?" I asked.

"Reinforcement and motivation, but remember all the subs you've seen me with are experienced and learned orgasm control years ago. I've trained subs before, but not any of the ones you've met."

"So what would you do with an untrained sub, like Bella?"

"I'd start by letting her fuck up and face consequences. Depending on limits, the consequences have varied with different subs I've trained. If that doesn't work, I try a different approach – forced orgasm."

"Forced orgasm?" I asked, confused. "You reward them for not being able to hold off release by giving them release. That seems a bit backwards to me."

"It sounds like that, but after you've tried corporal punishment, psychological punishment, humiliation, and manual labor without success, it's worth a try. She can't hold off an orgasm, so you force her to have continuous orgasms until she learns self control."

"Fuck, Edward. That sounds like torture. How could you do that to a girl you care about?"

"Jacob, you don't do it for too long. You have to respect her physical limits and her body's needs, but you keep doing short forced orgasm sessions until she learns self control. It's been far more effective than anything else I've tried – it's how I learned control and it's how a lot of subs learn control. Then again, it depends on your patience as a couple. For couples who don't care how long it takes to learn control, the consequences work well. I've worked with one sub who had forced orgasms as a hard limit and we spent more time learning to hold off her release. However, humiliation worked best for her. She learned control; it just took longer than it did with my other subs."

"What did you do for humiliation?" I asked, pretty sure I wouldn't be able to humiliate Bella.

"Before we ended our sessions, I would coat her face in cum and tell her not to wash her face until she woke up the following morning. I'd debrief with her and send her home."

"That sounds cruel. She was okay with that?"

"I've never pushed a sub's hard limits, and I only push soft limits after I've built total trust. This sub got off on humiliation. Bella doesn't, but she does enjoy corporal. So, why is corporal your preferred type of punishment?"

"I dunno. I guess it's 'cause I know just how far to take corporal with Bella. We've been playing with spanking since I was seventeen. It's a normal part of our relationship, she likes it and I know what she can handle."

"But if she likes it, then how can it be a consequence?" Edward asked, pushing my assumptions.

"I dunno. I know she likes erotic spankings, but we've never really incorporated punishment into our relationship. I'm pretty sure when we get there, we'll use corporal."

"I'm positive you will."

"How do you know?" I challenged him.

"I've trained a lot of subs and a few Doms. I notice these things. You haven't learned to push her out of a space where she gets pleasure from corporal. We'll get there. It's the modality she feels safest with. Pushing Bella to do manual tasks would have almost no impact on her because of her tendency to escape into manual tasks. Humiliation scares the hell out of her, and is on her limits list, so that's out for her. So you're left with psychological or corporal punishments. Now, Bella is one of the strongest subs I've ever met, mentally speaking. You'd have to push her really far to actually punish her mind and psyche, and that would probably break you."

He was right about us. It would fuck me up if I pushed her too far mentally. I nodded.

"You're a strong guy, Jake, but you like to make her happy and you don't let anyone in too deep. There's some reason you compartmentalize the pieces of your life. Bella does the same, only she does it better. In a battle of minds, she'll win every time because she's better at it then you. She won't respect you in that area if you try to punish her that way and fail. So if you're going to try, then you better be damned sure you can handle the consequences."

We did several sessions with Edward watching and training us. I was glad to really learn pain play and how to use corporal punishment without inflicting harm on Bella. We also mastered orgasm control and I realized just how much of an exhibitionist Bella was. She really enjoyed having sex while Edward watched us.

The speaking rules were a bit harder to get used to, but I understood why Edward encouraged us to maintain the formalities when we played. It took a while, but eventually we adjusted; I called her 'Isabella' and she called me 'Sir.' It helped to create clear boundaries so we didn't accidentally carry our baggage from one part of our lives to another.

We spent six months training under Edward. After our training ended, we still remained extremely close friends.

Bella and I had talked a lot about collaring and I knew it was something she wanted, but I just couldn't get past the difficulties we had in our everyday relationship beyond the sex. The everyday sex was amazing and the Dom/sub sex was beyond amazing. We were comfortable as a couple, but we were withdrawing from each other emotionally. I knew she wasn't ready for a lifelong commitment with me. I didn't push her, but I also didn't want to be pushed about collaring her when I knew I couldn't ask her to marry me.

~*O*~

One day while at a play party, Bella and I ended up watching another double penetration scene. Bella was seated in my lap and I could feel her thighs tensing as she watched.

"Sir," Bella spoke softly to me, as we watched the scene.

"Yes, Isabella?" I already knew where the conversation was headed, but I wanted to give her a chance to say what she needed in her own way.

"Thank you, sir, for keeping your promise."

"What promise was that, my little slut?" I asked softly.

"That we could watch another scene like this, sir."

"You're welcome, Isabella. Was that all you wanted to say?" I asked, knowing it wasn't.

"No, sir." She shook her head softly.

"Well you should tell me; obviously whatever you're thinking isn't gonna jump out of your mind and into mine."

She spoke hesitantly in a barely audible whisper, "Sir, I was hoping we could try something like this."

"You're asking me to share you, Isabella?" I asked, feigning a hint of jealousy. I was surprised that I really didn't feel any jealousy whatsoever. This just felt like the right thing to do.

"Only if you want, sir," she explained.

"Who would you have me share you with?" I asked, knowing exactly who she wanted to be shared with, but wondering what she would say.

"Anyone you want, sir."

"Hmmm... I'm not sure I know anyone I'd be willing to share you with, but I know some of my old friends have always had crushes on you. I'm sure they'd love an invitation to join us," I challenged to see whether she was using this as an excuse to have sex with Edward or whether she was really willing to take anyone I chose because she wanted the experience so badly.

"Really, sir?" Her eyes lit as she realized I was talking about either Quil or Embry, neither of whom she'd ever been attracted to. "You're really willing?" she questioned. Her face revealed happiness at the idea that I was willing to try one of her fantasies.

"Yes, Isabella, let's go home. I know someone I'm willing to share you with – I'll find out if he's up for it."

"Yes, sir." She rose off my lap so we could head home.

I texted Edward while she drove; he suggested his home that night. I decided it would be a good time to push Bella and suggested a blindfold so she wouldn't know who the other man was. She agreed, surprised that I was able to arrange something for that very night. I had Bella wait in the car while I ran up to our apartment and grabbed a blindfold. We sat together in the car and talked about what was okay and what wasn't, then I blindfolded her and drove around Seattle for 30 minutes before heading to Edward's so she wouldn't know where we were.

Edward remained silent as he let us into his home and playroom. He and I had already texted a plan out. This was as much an exercise in trust for both Bella and I, as it was a fulfillment of one of her fantasies.

"Isabella, before we begin, I want to videotape tonight. Is that okay with you?"

She smiled broadly, she loved being in front of a camera. "Yes, sir, please record tonight."

"Strip and present, Isabella," I commanded, releasing her arm.

She pulled the zipper down the front of her black latex sheath dress until the dress looked more like an open coat. She slipped the dress off her shoulders and brought it to her front to blindly attempt to fold it. Folding the dress was an almost impossible task without a blindfold because of the stiffness of the latex, but she did her best and managed to at least get the dress to a flat bundle. She stepped out of her shoes, then knelt down just behind her shoes and felt around for them. She knelt back on her heels and held up the bundle of latex and shoes for me. I took it and laid it on a chair in the corner.

I turned back to Bella and asked, "What do you present to me, Isabella?"

Her hands rose and cupped her tits. "Sir, she presents these breasts for your enjoyment."

"Good, Isabella, I accept your tits. Is there anything else you would like to offer?"

She moved her hands to her inner thighs to show off her pussy. "Yes, Sir. She offers you this pussy for your pleasure."

"I accept your pussy. Anything else?"

She sensually moved her hands around her hips onto her ass. "Sir, she joyously offers you this ass to meet your needs and desires."

"I accept your ass. Anything else?"

"Sir, you may use this body in any way that pleases you. It is yours. She also offers you this mouth with hope that you will use it." She dropped her jaw so her mouth was ready for my cock.

Normally, I'd take the blow job immediately, but I had more questions to ask. "Isabella, I accept your mouth and will use it, but first, I have a few more questions. Do you make these offers fully aware that I'll be sharing your body tonight?"

"Yes, sir."

"Do you trust me to choose a partner who will respect us and be worthy of our trust?"

"Yes, sir."

"Do you have any concerns? You may speak freely."

"No, sir, I trust and love you. May I request that, whoever he is that he uses protection?"

I almost laughed at her request since it was Edward's number one play rule. She really didn't know we were playing with Edward tonight. He just nodded his head toward a bowl of condoms and such. He smiled slightly, glad to see he'd had an influence on Bella being careful.

"It's already taken care of, Isabella. He'll use condoms and dental dams," I answered firmly. "Anything else?"

"No, sir. Thank you."

I undressed and signaled for Edward to do the same. We left our clothes on the chair with Bella's. I stepped forward and rubbed my cock on her lips, she immediately opened her mouth and took me into her warm, wet mouth.

"Ung... Feel free to tease her," I said to Edward then added, "Don't you dare cum without my permission, Isabella."

She nodded her head to acknowledge my order and rolled her tongue around my tip. Edward knelt behind her and started kissing her back and rubbing her tits. He moved his hands lower while she took me deeper and deeper into her mouth. She had my cock all the way down her throat with my balls against her chin when Edward began to finger her and she had to pull back to get my dick out of her throat so she could breathe. Neither of us was accustomed to having someone else play with us, and she needed time to get used to it in order to prevent herself from cumming without a command.

She continued to suck me, but kept her work to just the first few inches so she wouldn't risk choking. She was such an exceptional cocksucker that I felt like it was irrelevant as she worked me with her lips and tongue and had me cumming within minutes.

I backed away to recuperate while Edward continued to tease her pussy.

"Faster," I told him. The three of us had spent several months on orgasm control and I wanted it to be clear to her that no matter who did what tonight, I expected her to maintain control. I watched her tense, as she held off the orgasm he was working to give her.

"Please, sir, may I cum?" she asked.

"No, Isabella. You can't cum until later, but when you do, I promise you it will be while we do something we've never done before."

"Yes, sir." She gritted her teeth and held her posture rigid as she held off another orgasm.

"That's enough," I told Edward and he released her.

I wanted to use some of the equipment in the playroom, and I knew she'd figure out where we were if I did, so I decided to let her see who was playing with us. She'd already proven that it wasn't all some plot to get with Edward; she couldn't fake her happiness when I agreed and she trusted me to pick someone.

"Isabella, presentation position," I ordered.

She rose up on her knees and moved to the correct position.

"Please stand in front of her," I asked Edward.

I stood slightly to the side so I could see her reaction and said, "Isabella, take off the blindfold."

She removed the blindfold, and when she made eye contact with Edward, I saw pure and utter adoration in her eyes. She'd never looked at me like that. I shook off the sense that I had fucked up somehow and told her, "Get on your hands and knees on the adjustable table."

"Yes, sir." She quickly got on the table and into position. I lowered the table until she was at the right height for both Edward and I.

"Isabella, I want you to suck Edward off like a good little slut."

He handed her a condom and stepped forward; she rolled the condom over his dick and brought it to her lips. She started sucking him. I stepped up behind her and roughly shoved my dick into her cunt. She was tight and obviously tense from the earlier teasing. She was aching for release. I started to work her pussy with my fingertips while continuing to thrust, thinking I could distract her from her work on him like he had earlier. She was working on taking him deeper when I pinched her clit. Instead of backing off like she had earlier in a similar scenario, she took him deeper and moved away from me slightly. I stood there frozen with my cock inside her. _Whoa! What the fuck was that? Maybe the look in her eyes was more than I thought earlier. Edward was totally focused on her face and he had a similar look of loving devotion that mirrored Bella's from earlier._

I tried again, hoping I was wrong about what I was seeing. I thrust in and really pinched her clit in a way that normally caused her to orgasm. There was no response from her. She was so focused on Edward, it was as if I wasn't even in the room. I stopped moving. _Oh, Fuck! They're fucking meant for each other and I helped them find each other. I wonder if they even realized their attraction ran so deeply beyond the physical. No, they didn't know, neither would have violated my trust like that. _

Edward's eyes shifted from Bella's to mine as I stood frozen taking in both their reactions. Bella hadn't even noticed that I stopped. She was totally concentrated on pleasing Edward. He noticed though, nothing ever slipped by him. He knew my world and his had just shifted and he gave me an apologetic look as if asking if I wanted to stop. I shook my head. I needed a minute alone.

I pulled out and asked, "Can you take care of Isabella on your own for a few minutes?"

His eyes scrunched together; he couldn't understand why I wasn't flipping out. "Isabella, stop. Jacob and I need a moment to talk before he leaves the room."

She released him and then looked to me, "Sir, is something wrong?"

"No, I just need some fresh air," I reassured her with a smile. "You're doing perfectly."

He stepped beside me and whispered, "You can end this and we can talk about what just happened. You don't have to let this continue, Jacob."

"I know that, Edward. Just trust me; I need a minute alone. I'll be back. Keep her happy and distracted 'til I get back. Feel free to use her in anyway, we both know she'll enjoy it."

"Are you sure?" he asked, doubtfully.

"Positive, Edward," I stated, resolutely.

I walked out to the lanai and looked out over the water. I needed to decide what to do next. _Should I try and hold onto a relationship with Bella when I now know she belongs with Edward, or should I end things now and accept the inevitable? I wanted her too much to let go without a fight. I knew sexually I could keep her happy, but would that really keep me happy? Could I live like this?_

I thought to myself, _Well, Bella never could catch me in a lie and Edward won't call me out tonight even if he realizes I'm just putting on a show. Fake it 'til you make it. _

I considered the situation for another fifteen minutes while composing myself. I masked my real emotions, put on the 'Sir' persona I had worked so hard to develop, and walked back in to rejoin the threesome. I had to do this for Bella, she wanted this; and if this was the last time we played, then I wanted it to be memorable for her.

When I walked back into the playroom, I was prepared to see Edward fucking her, but what I saw wasn't at all what I expected.

"Edward, what's going on?" I asked, as I took in Bella's total bondage. She was still kneeling, but was covered in webs of white rope.

"Isabella didn't want to play without you. So she suggested we get her set up for your enjoyment." I circled around Bella and noticed her arms tied behind her back. Her ankles were held beside her ass by lengths of rope that extended to her elbows.

"How does she safe word?" I asked, observing the gag, but knowing full well he already had a solution. I just needed to know what it was.

"She's holding a buzzer. If she lets go, it starts alerting. Isabella, please let go of the button."

I heard a loud ringing; it wasn't something any of us would miss.

"That's enough, Isabella," I instructed. The ringing stopped as she pressed the button again.

I knelt in front of her so I was right beside her face, then I removed her gag. I spoke softly, "Isabella, tonight you get one wish, anything you want that's not a limit. Tell me what you want."

"Sir, you've already given me so much tonight just by agreeing to this. How could I ask for more?"

I'd spoken too softly; she didn't understand it was a command, not a request. I took on a more demanding tone, "One wish, Isabella. Tell me what you want. This isn't a request."

"Sir?" she softly questioned the command.

I smacked her ass hard. "Tell me now, Isabella!"

"Sir, I want you to take my ass tonight."

I rubbed her skin gently. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"No, sir."

"I love you, Isabella. I'd give you anything you want."

"I love you too, sir."

I got up from the floor and rolled the ball gag in my fingers. I asked Edward, "So did you two make a plan for which type of suspension we'd do tonight, or did you just tie her into a suspension harness to surprise me?" I didn't use rope suspension much, and Edward's lessons were good, but I couldn't tell the difference between the webs for different suspension types. I knew some harnesses were designed for one type or another; I wondered which he'd made.

"Your choice, Jacob. I tied it so it can be used for vertical or horizontal, upright or inverted. I just use different anchor points for whichever method you want."

"Why don't you always use this method if it's so flexible?"

"I prefer to be able to keep them in suspension longer. When I plan which method to use, I can reinforce the ropes in the critical points. I didn't do that with Isabella because it requires several extra ties and knots in too many places. I wouldn't suspend her for more than thirty minutes with this web. Normally, I can safely suspend a sub for over an hour."

"I see."

"What are you thinking, Jacob?" Edward asked, while Bella remained silent and ignored on the floor.

"Upright vertical – double penetration, but we need to work her up first. Mind if I use some of your toys?"

"Of course not, you know where they are. Shall I get her in the air?"

"Sure, d'you need my help?"

"Nope, that's why I have the electronic winch. Not that either of us couldn't lift Isabella with one arm, but I paid for the equipment, we might as well use it. Besides the equipment's safer," he said with a smirk.

I nodded and handed him the gag I was still holding.

Edward began attaching ropes to Bella's harness and then stringing them into his suspension system. I went into the toy cabinet and started gathering some toys. I selected some clover clamps and weights, a medium stainless steel butt plug, and a deer skin flogger. I left the cabinet open in case we wanted something else later, and turned to see Edward hoisting Bella's bound and helpless body into the air.

I noticed he was still holding the gag and gave him a questioning look. I set the toys on a bench near where she was hanging.

"I saw you grabbed the clamps and thought it may be more fun to use the chain to prevent her from talking. She can let go at any time, but then the weight will be on the clamps and they'll tighten up."

I chuckled lightly. Edward's ideas usually were more fun than mine, but now I needed to come up with something else to exert control. It was a bit awkward playing with two Doms and one sub; we both wanted to be in control and we had to watch not to fuck up. It was his playroom, but she was my sub, so I was lead. I grabbed the blindfold we'd set aside earlier and tossed it to Edward to put on her. "Isabella, letting you see who we were playing with was a little treat earlier, but now I don't want you to be able to see where either of us is as we use you for our pleasure." A smile spread across her lips as Edward put the blindfold on her. "You like the idea of being used by two men. Don't you, Isabella?"

"Yes, sir," she answered, joyously.

"You always wanted me to call you a slut, but now I finally understand you were asking me to use you like a slut. Isn't that right, my little slut?"

"Yes, sir." Her cheeks flushed a bit at the admission, but we all knew it was true.

I kissed her roughly. As I backed away, I signaled for Edward to feel free to do the same. I'd decided to speak only when absolutely necessary in order to heighten her experience. I grabbed the clamps while he kissed her and lowered my head to her breasts, which had been bound to stand more erect than normal. I had to admit he was exceptionally skilled at rope bondage. Her taut rosy buds were ready for the clamps, but I wanted to wait until Edward joined me so we could do both at once. I licked and nipped at the hardened peak. She moaned and bucked a bit. He lowered his head to her other nipple and she went even crazier as both our mouths worked her sensitive flesh simultaneously. I handed him one of the clamps and then we both pulled away and clamped her.

"Ahhh... Jake..." She cried out as the clamps pinched down.

_Why the fuck would she use my name in scene? She knew better than that it had been months since she'd made that error. _ The only thing I could imagine was she wanted to give us an excuse to use the flogger, which was silly, since it was going to be used anyway. Edward held the chain to prevent any weight from bearing down on her. He knew I was going to have to punish her.

I rose up and spoke sternly, "Isabella, you know better than to use my name in scene. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry, sir. I got caught up in the feelings," she lied. I knew her well enough to see right through her.

"Don't lie to me, Isabella! Did you do it intentionally, in an attempt to control the scene?"

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir."

"Isabella, we will punish you for that, but it will be on our terms not yours. _ I_ am in control of this scene. Edward is my second and any pain or pleasure you experience tonight will be our choice, not yours. Now open your mouth."

She opened wide and we laid the chain attached to the weights and clamps across her teeth and lips.

"Close," I ordered. "You can speak a bit around the chain, but if you let it out of your mouth, the clamps will tighten up suddenly as all the weight you're now supporting falls. This is something you control. The amount of pain to your nipples is entirely your choice. We're in charge of the rest of your body. Understood, Isabella?"

"Yessshrrr," she mumbled around the chain.

"Good girl."

Edward retrieved a dental dam and was waiting for my approval before he moved forward with his plan. I gave him a head nod, before grabbing the plug and coating it in lube. He knelt down and began licking her pussy through the latex.

Meanwhile, I lubed up a couple of fingers and stepped behind her. I started kissing her neck and shoulders while I slowly worked a finger into her tight rim. She whimpered at the intrusion, but didn't say or do anything to resist.

"Isabella, my slut, do you want more?" I asked.

"Preeash... srr," she whined.

Edward held her in position while he continued to work her pussy. I worked another digit into her asshole and slowly fingered her. When she was sufficiently stretched, I withdrew both fingers and gently inserted the plug.

She moaned loudly.

"Isabella, are you alright?" I questioned.

She vigorously nodded her head while squeaking out her muffled assent.

"Good girl."

I grabbed the flogger, handing it to Edward and saying, "For when you're done." He laid it next to his knee and kept working her pussy.

I would have been okay using the flogger for a light session, but for punishment, even play punishment, I was still more comfortable with my hands. Edward had far more experience with a flogger and if we were using it for erotic punishment instead of sensation building, then I wanted him using it. I still had a tendency to wrap the tails around her curves and that could be dangerous when I built to medium strokes instead of light.

"Isabella, don't cum 'til I tell you," I reminded her, before striking her ass softly. "Next time don't forget the title."

"Yessshrrr."

"Good girl. Now you're going to get a spanking and a flogging." I struck her a couple more times and then Edward backed off of her pussy and tossed the latex square in the trash. He took the flogger and whipped her tits a few times. He carefully avoided the clamps. I kept up the spanking, slowly increasing the intensity, while he trailed the flogger to her inner thighs. He then began flogging them to a hot, rose color which matched the shade her ass was turning.

We avoided any discernible rhythm, but Bella still attempted to preempt our strikes by tensing when she thought one of us was about to strike. Edward took advantage of her tensing by striking her very lightly when she'd be tensed for a hard blow and then waiting until she relaxed to give her a heavier whack. When we got to a point where I felt she'd had enough, I signaled him to stop and we both rubbed her skin gently.

"Isabella, you did such a good job accepting your punishment. Are you ready for some pleasure?"

"Yessshrrr," she whimpered softly.

Edward and I had been hard for sometime, so neither of us needed any further preparation. He slipped on a condom while I slowly removed the plug and she moaned softly. I ran a finger along her lips to be sure she was ready. I had never seen Bella so wet in my life.

"Wow, our little slut, certainly is worked up. Wouldn't you agree, Edward?"

He plunged a finger into her. "Most definitely, Jacob. She is so ready for us."

I lubed up my cock so I wouldn't injure Bella. I was about to ask Edward to keep her as relaxed as possible, when, as if reading my mind, he started kissing her as he continued to finger her.

I slid my cock against her asshole and waited for her to relax. As she relaxed from Edward's work, I pushed my head into her anus. _Wow! Oh my fucking God, that's tight!_

I groaned and she moaned loudly. I froze and asked, "Isabella, are you okay?"

Edward moved his kissing down to her jaw and I noticed somehow he had managed to take hold of the chain in his mouth. He probably knew I would question her as I took her ass and didn't want her to forget the chain accidentally. He was right. I was just surprised that he'd managed to take it from her without me noticing.

She panted wildly, then answered, "Yes, sir. I'm more than okay. Please may I have some more of your big, hard cock? I really want you to fuck my ass, sir."

"You'll get it all, but be patient, Isabella. I'm not going to hurt you."

"Of course, sir, take your time."

I responded to her by slowly pushing into her ass while Edward returned his lips to hers. I pushed gently beyond her sphincter muscle until I was fully seated inside her. She moaned as my balls touched her ass cheeks knowing I was buried all the way in her, in a place we'd never shared before. I pulled out and back in a few times until I was sure she was okay with the motion.

I then invited Edward to add his dick to the mix. I stayed still while he penetrated her. We gave her a minute to get accustomed to being filled by two dicks, as I observed what an odd sensation it was to feel Edward's cock against mine through Bella's skin. We waited for her to relax and then we began thrusting in and out of her. I used her bound tits to pull her hard against me while Edward used her hips.

We pushed and pulled her in perfect harmony until we could feel every muscle in her body tensed and screamed for release.

"Isabella, cum now!" I ordered.

She dropped the chain from her mouth and the pain from the clamps sent her over the edge. She cried out, oblivious to anything but her massive orgasm. Her asshole clamped down on my dick so tightly that I couldn't move, but the rippling contractions brought me to release without further need for thrusting. I held her firmly when I realized Edward was still thrusting. I was honestly worried if he pulled her too far from me, that she would get injured by my dick. It was a bit awkward, but I kept moving with her until Edward thrust as deep as he could and released. She remained in the throes of her orgasm and I was stuck to her until she began to relax.

"I love you, Isabella," I whispered, as Edward pulled out of her still quivering body and tossed his condom in the trash.

"Mmmm..." she hummed, smiling contentedly. I felt her muscles begin to relax and pulled out of her. Edward was waiting by the hoist and pressed a button to lower her to the floor.

As soon as she was on the ground, we both went to work on her knots and quickly released her so she could lay flat on the floor while she recovered. The red lines from the webbing were beautiful. Edward and I worked on massaging all her muscles so she wouldn't be in any pain from the intense bondage.

"Bella, how's your energy level?" Edward asked, as I caressed her face.

"I'm fine, sir," she answered by rote. Her theory on subs was they should do everything for the Dom and never ask for anything. She also had more trouble transitioning out of her bottom role than most other subs I had seen and heard about.

"Her energy's low," I answered, taking in her slightly paler than normal skin tone and her general demeanor.

"Thanks, Jacob," he replied as he left the playroom.

I cuddled with Bella until he came back dressed in sweats with some clothing over his shoulder and a tray of food. He set the tray on the floor beside Bella, and handed me a robe and her a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

"Sorry, Jacob. I had nothing in your size, except a bathrobe. Hope you don't mind." he explained.

"I don't mind at all. I kinda figured I'd be getting back in my jeans afterward."

"I wanted to offer to let you two spend the night so you wouldn't have to rush through aftercare. I got the guest room set up after your text. I even set aside stuff for a pallet, since I wasn't sure what your after scene ritual for sleeping was, but I knew this scene would be a first for you both and therefore require more time after."

Edward sat on the floor by the tray of food and motioned toward the glass of juice and then Bella. I realized Bella hadn't moved to get dressed or eat.

"Bella, honey, do you want to get dressed or eat something first?" I asked.

"Sorry, sir, I'm still floating. What was the question?"

I decided it was better to avoid choices while she was still 'in role' and just said, "Let's get some food in you, then you should put on some clothes."

"Okay, sir."

I took the glass of orange juice from Edward and held the straw to her lips so she wouldn't feel like she needed to get up. I then fed her some peanut butter toast and fruit. Her energy level and color brightened and I asked her to sit up and get dressed. I put on the robe at the same time so we could talk over the scene as equals before we bathed and went to bed.

"Bella, do you want to continue to lie down to give your body more time to recover or do you want to sit up to talk?" I asked gently.

"I need to lay down for a while longer, sir. But, I don't want to debrief in here, it's not a free space."

Edward answered her comment, "Bella, of course we'll bring you out to the living room to talk; you can lie on the couch and we'll sit beside you on the floor." He always emphasized staying in the same plane during aftercare, so he didn't want us too high above her while she readjusted to being equals.

"Thank you, sir."

I got up, then picked Bella up and carried her to one of the living room couches. I sat on the floor by her head and Edward sat by her knees. We chatted for a while about our likes and dislikes from the scene. Bella was most concerned when I left. She felt abandoned and she felt like if she did anything while I was out of the room, it would be cheating. I apologized and promised not to do it again, but I didn't explain why I left. I was still struggling with that and was not ready to lay it out for Bella.

I had decided that I wasn't ready to abandon her and I knew that would be how she felt if I broke up with her within a short time. So we continued our relationship, and even played with Edward about once a month.

~*O*~

Meanwhile, in the vanilla portion of our lives, May had come to live with us. Bella and I had to meet with the Monseigneur in charge of the schools to discuss May's religious obligations and our place as role models. They were concerned that May was living with us because no one in her family was a practicing Catholic. I was essentially her sponsor and taking responsibility for ensuring she was exposed to the church. He felt it was necessary to discuss Bella and me fornicating in the home where May lived. I hadn't really considered that somehow over the last few years, I had become her role model – I thought I was just being supportive to Bella's little sister. Somehow, I kept getting pulled in deeper by the kid. At some point, my relationship with the kid changed from doing a favor for Bella, to really caring how she was and what was going on in her life.

There was no way I was going to be able to defend my choice of lifestyle to the old school Jesuit, so I played the 'please forgive me for being a sinner' card. Billy taught me that the easiest way to get a priest to back down was to ask for forgiveness and I knew if I did it right, then he really wouldn't be able to say much. I simply explained to him that I was a believer and that I made every effort to ensure that May has a proper religious upbringing. I acknowledged that I'm a sinner, and while my choice to live with Bella was inviting sin, there were economic and familial obligations that made our living together a convenience. I asked for forgiveness and told him I had spoken with my own priest several times about the matter. While he had counseled me against it, he had also made it clear that the decisions were mine to make and many people in the church were making those same decisions. Bella and I lived together as a modern couple and we did our best to do right by May. I attended weekly mass and days of obligation with her, and she and I prayed together twice a day for the last two years. May didn't want her religious perspectives to force her sister and me to behave differently, or to push Bella into practicing as a cafeteria Catholic.

He acknowledged my explanations as suitable and asked that we keep our sexual relationship in our bedroom and not flaunt it in May's face. We assured him that was what we did anyway, so it wouldn't be a problem. Mostly, they were concerned because the family wasn't Catholic, but May claimed in the application process that she was and applied for Catholic scholarships.

I couldn't figure out why the kid applied for scholarships. Her family was anything but poor. I knew Carlisle and Esme had offered to pay for her schooling and Bella had planned to pay. I decided not to think about that or the fact that some poor kid wouldn't get a scholarship because May got one.

May was attending the all girl Catholic school in Bellevue. Alice worked in Bellevue, so she made time to drop May off in the mornings. Then May did extra-curricular activities and I picked her up around 5:30 every day. We usually used the drive to talk about her day and say our evening prayers. Bella and I worked hard to maintain a steady schedule for May, and we appreciated Alice's help getting her to school in the mornings, since both Bella and I had to be at work before May had to be in school.

At the beginning of the next summer, I began to realize that even though Bella and I were still compatible and we still loved each other, we weren't in love anymore. We'd grown apart and I was holding onto the relationship in order not to disrupt May's life and because we were comfortable. Bella and I had a schedule and a rhythm. We kept each other company, but neither of us was truly happy with the arrangement.

I realized we weren't the two kids who fell in love on First Beach anymore; we were adults who still cared about each other, were comfortable, and had spectacular sex, but we had lost the deep connection. I had to love both of us enough to recognize our issues and end our relationship. I had seen her in scene with Edward several times. Although I had selfishly held onto her after I realized they were meant to be, I still had to acknowledge and accept reality, especially as our vanilla relationship deteriorated more and more. It was time for another talk.

After May went to Alice's on Friday night, I pulled out the chairs for a toe to toe talk. I dreaded doing it, but I knew we both needed to acknowledge our problems and move on. She walked into the kitchen and saw the chairs and her face fell instantly. She thought we would play tonight since we had planned it and now she could see we wouldn't.

"Take a seat, Bells."

She sat down and worried her lip through her teeth, obviously concerned about why I wanted a toe to toe.

I sat down across from her and began. "Bella, you're my best friend and I love you."

"You're my best friend and I love you too, Jake."

I smiled sadly. "I know, just let me get through this."

She nodded.

I sucked in a deep breath and continued, "I don't think we're _in love_ anymore."

She gasped and opened her mouth to interrupt.

"Please don't, Bella, just wait until I'm done." I took her hands in mine. "I've been hanging on to our relationship because it's easy and safe and I didn't want to change our routines."

She began crying.

I wiped her tears away. "Bells, it isn't fair to either one of us to keep doing this for the wrong reasons. There's someone out there who can love you in a perfect way and there's someone perfect out there for me too, but we aren't those people for each other." I thought of Edward; I'd seen the connection between them when we'd all played together, and I was too selfish to admit their undeniable compatibility.

I took a breath and took her hands again, knowing this would be the worst part and I needed to get it all out before I tried to calm her. "We've been together for six wonderful years and I love you so much, but I know we aren't meant for each other. There's a reason we haven't even discussed getting married. There's a reason I haven't collared you, I know you, Bells. If I'd asked to marry you, I know you'd say no; I've been ready to ask you for four years but you weren't ready to settle down with me. Until I know you're ready to love me in a way where we build a future together, I can't collar you, even though I know that's what you want, because I know you aren't ready to give your whole self to me. You only want me as a best friend and a lover. I've loved you enough to attempt to hang on to what we had, but we're just damaging ourselves by continuing this. We're missing the deep spiritual component of love, even though we have sexual chemistry and a wonderful friendship. We aren't soul mates, Bella, and I love you enough to want you to find your soul mate." I wiped the tears from her face.

She did one of those crying laughs, and I pulled her into my arms.

"I really do love you, Bells. I don't want to give up our friendship, but I had to acknowledge the truth and show it to you too."

"I know," she sobbed into my shoulder, while I rubbed her back.

"I'll always be here for you," I said when she finally quieted

"Thank you. So what do we do now?"

"I'll stay on the couch until I find a new apartment; I'll start looking in the morning. If you aren't comfortable with that, I'll ask Alice or Edward if I can stay with one of them."

"No, that's fine, Jake. You can stay here as long as you need."

"We'll need to tell May in the morning."

"She's going to be upset."

"I know, but she needs to know and I'd like to still be there for her as well."

"Of course, Jake, you're still my best friend. So what do we tell her is changing?"

"Well we won't be living together anymore, but as long as I find an apartment in this area I can still pick May up from school after work."

"Okay thanks, Jake. I need to go lie down and process all this."

"No problem. Remember, I'm always here for you."


	3. DVDs and Consequences

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes **_**RARE**_** Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship. **

Special thanks to ProjectTeamBeta for all your help, and especially onlybythenight1 and owlsarebirdstoo. Special thanks to my other prereaders as well: PemberlyRose, TwilightCakes, and Sawny94. You girls help so much!

**Warning:** This chapter includes a serious conflict between Bella and Renesmee. I know that some people will hate my characters at the end of the conflict, but it is extremely important to my story. I did substantially alter the conflict from the original version which got me the most negative reviews of any chapter. People do stupid things when they are angry. I wrote it this way for a reason.

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyer – I am just playing in her world for a while.**

~*O*~

RPOV

May 2011 – September 2011

I woke and called Jake. He seemed a bit out of it, like he was very tired, but prayed with me anyway. I went out to the kitchen and made breakfast for Alice and Jasper, since they'd be up shortly and I liked to cook breakfast. I set the French toast in the oven on warm and worked on my knitting while I waited for them to get up. I was knitting prayer blankets for babies at Jasper's hospital. It was a summer project I was taking on along with three of the girls in my class.

"Morning, May," Alice chirped as she fixed herself a coffee.

"Morning, Ali," I replied.

Jasper came in a minute later and sat at the table with the paper and a coffee; he wasn't much of a morning person so I never talked to him until he'd read the paper, drank his coffee, and eaten breakfast. We ate and Alice asked if I had any plans for the day; I told her Jake asked me to return home that morning for some reason.

Alice brought me back home early. Jake was in the shower having already gone for his morning run while Bella sat in the kitchen dressed to go to the gym. The idea of Bella going to the gym without Jake seemed odd, but I just headed to the living room and turned on the music while I worked on knitting. A while later Jake and Bella both came into the living room and sat opposite from me so they were facing me.

"May, Jake and I need to talk with you," Bella started. I immediately started thinking of anything I had done wrong recently to see if I could figure out what they needed to talk about.

Jake could see the panic on my face. "May, it isn't anything you did. It's about Bella and me."

"Oh..." Maybe they were finally getting married and we could be a real family.

"Jake and I have decided to break up," Bella stated.

"What?" I asked, shocked. I must have heard wrong. I shook my head to see if I could snap myself out of the twilight zone that had suddenly descended on me.

"Jake's moving out," she said sadly.

I started crying. _Jake wasn't going to be around anymore. How could he just abandon us? How could he abandon _me_? I needed him. How could Bella let him go? I knew he loved her to the ends of the earth. What could she have done to cause this? _

"We're still friends," Jake added, "and nothing will change about you and me spending time together, unless _you _want to change something. I just won't live here anymore. We both love each other and you, kiddo, but Bella and I aren't meant to be together and we finally came to grips with that last night."

Bella got up and hugged me. "We don't want to hurt you," she continued. "So, we're going to try to keep our normal routine. You can still call Jake whenever you need to, he just won't be here in person in the mornings and at night. Jake is still planning to drive you home from school if you're okay with that, and he'll still eat meals here most weeknights, but our relationship will be different; we're going back to being best friends and instead of boyfriend-girlfriend. He also plans on continuing to bring you to church."

"Are you guys really okay with all that?" I asked. "I don't want you to feel obligated to me."

"May, you're one of my closest friends and it's been awesome having such a great relationship with you," Jake began. "I don't feel obligated. I enjoy spending time with you, but if this is too much for you, then we don't have to do any of the things we do now. Our friendship is on your terms. It's whatever you want. I'm an adult and can handle whatever boundaries you need."

"I just want things to be normal," I whispered trying to regain my composure.

"They will be, sweetheart," Bella said. "There may be a bit of awkwardness between Jake and me, but we'll get through that as friends. We're really okay with this."

After they both hugged me, I went to my room to try and let some of the information settle in.

Jake went apartment hunting. Later in the we Jake found a clean, fully furnished efficiency apartment a few blocks away from our apartment. It was basically two rooms including the bathroom. He said it was cheap and everything that he needed, even if the oven was in the same room as his bed. Bella, Alice and I helped him repaint the place so it was a bit brighter. Bella and Jake managed to keep their friendship, which surprised me a bit since all the girls I know say they tried to stay friends with their ex-boyfriends and it never worked out. I guess Jake and Bella are just different.

By the middle of June, Alice was totally focused on her wedding. The wedding was on the first weekend in July and she was freaking out about everything being perfect. She'd asked Bella to be her Maid of Honor and Rosalie and me to be bridesmaids. Jasper had asked Edward to be the Best Man and Jake and Emmett to be groomsmen. She'd chosen a yellow and sage theme for the wedding. The men all wore black tuxes. The women all wore tea length dresses with empire waists. Bella and Edward were wearing sage with yellow highlights and Jake, Emmett, Rosalie, and I were wearing yellow with sage highlights.

The wedding was perfect: a typical Alice Brandon affair. It was a small event at the house in Forks. Bella and Edward spent most of their evening together. Rosalie and Emmett were also oddly focused on each other which left me and Jake to hang out which was fine.

I usually spent Friday nights at Alice's so Bella could have date nights. I was surprised when, on the first Friday Alice was away, Jake showed up at the apartment with a stack of movies and a bag of movie snacks: microwave popcorn, nonpareils, sour patch watermelons, and a bottle of cherry coke. Jake said Bella had a date and I was stuck with him for the night; I was cool with that since we always had a blast together. I had always assumed the Friday date nights were Jake's doing, but apparently they were Bella's idea.

Jake and I had an awkward chat about Bella dating. He said he was happy for her. The chat abruptly ended when I asked if he had found someone. He said no one special and then pressed play. I didn't think the question was terribly intrusive but Jake's feather's seemed to get ruffled by it.

I never knew much about their sex lives other than that they had sex when they were dating. Bella always told me I should talk to her before I became sexually active since my school wasn't going to teach me about sex. She tried to give me the sex talk when I got my period, but I just told her I wasn't ready for that talk and didn't plan to have sex until I was married. She smirked at me and told me that my opinion would change over time and if I promised to talk to her about it when I was ready that I could get out of the conversation that day. I knew some of my friends were having sex, but I just wasn't ready yet. Besides I didn't even have a boyfriend. One of the boys from the coed Catholic school in Seattle asked me out last year at a dance, but I told him I couldn't date until I was sixteen. If I see him again next year he'll probably ask me out again. I might agree.

Jake and I hung out every Friday night until Alice and Jasper came home from their month long honeymoon in Europe. Rosalie had been staying at their place and Jake had helped her get a job as a mechanic at the garage he works at. She was apparently having some trouble with an ex-boyfriend in New York. Emmett had moved to Seattle too and was working for Starbucks as an Information Specialist. Rosalie moved in with him. I didn't know they were even dating, but apparently things had moved very quickly.

Life returned to normal and I went back to Forest Ridge for my sophomore year.

JPOV

Sept 2011 – June 2012

I was getting closer to having enough cash to get a loan for a garage. Rosalie wanted to partner with me and with both our savings we would have $100,000. We would still need to get Carlisle to help us with some financing but it was all coming together. After scouting out potential locations in Seattle, we decided that Bellevue was a good location since most mechanical services in the suburbs were over priced and the city was too distant. We would contract out our towing until we were turning a profit and could afford to buy a tow truck. We found a nice two bay garage that had gone under during the recession that was never been resold by the bank. We were able to get it for the amount left on the mortgage which was a steal at $80,000 which we financed all but $20,000 on a 10 year mortgage and then we still had $80,000 to repair the garage, purchase equipment and inventory. Emmett set us up with a nice computer system which he built from spare parts. Esme and Alice came over and decorated and Bella helped us set up advertising in the Times at a discount rate. May helped us name the place, Black Rose Auto Repair. She also designed our logo and signs. Our logo had a black 1969 Dodge Charger muscle car with red roses wrapped around the body. I have to say the logo was pretty sexy and it looked awesome in print.

Bella had been seeing Edward since we broke up and I was really happy for her. He had collared her and she couldn't have been happier about it. They invited me over to join them for play a couple times, but I wasn't sure if that would be healthy for any of us, so I'd turned them down. I was seeing Leah Clearwater casually in a normal relationship. We weren't having sex yet, but we were only seeing each other once a week. Bella hadn't told May about Edward yet, but the girl's smart; she knew that if Bella was still going out on Fridays she was seeing someone. I think they played on Sundays too while I took May to church and spent the day with her.

One Friday night in October, I was out on a date with Leah when I got a panicked call from May.

"May, what's up?"

"Jake, I'm locked in a bathroom at the movies." She sobbed, "I was on a date with Alec and he got aggressive about touching me. I told him no, but he wouldn't stop so I punched him in the balls and ran to the bathroom and locked the door." I threw $50 on the table and left Leah there.

"Okay, sweetie, I'm on my way. Don't unlock the door until I call you and tell you I'm there. Which theater are you at?" I ran to my car.

"The Regal Meridian on Seventh Ave."

I jumped in my car and got it started.

"OK, I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Call Alice and stay on the phone with her until I call you back. I need to concentrate on driving and let Bella know." I pulled into traffic and floored the gas. I dialed Bella's cell. No answer. I tried Edward's cell. No answer. _Probably in the play room_. I tried his house phone I let it ring more than 15 times.

Finally, he answered. "This better be important," he huffed.

"It is. There's an emergency with May; get Bella back home. I'll be there as soon as I can with May. Have Bella call me when she's able. I'll tell her what happened." I hung up.

Ten minutes later I had a call from Bella. I told her what had happened and that I was on my way to May. I hung up and parked in the fire lane of the theater. The prick was knocking on the bathroom door saying that she needed to come out sooner or later and that he was her ride home. I saw red. I knew that I couldn't hurt him since he was a minor, but I could scare the shit out of him.

I grabbed his collar and tossed him up against the wall. I growled at him, "You little motherfucker, if you ever so much as look at May again, I'll kill you."

He was speechless.

"You never touch a girl against her will. You're lucky I'm not calling the police to file sexual assault charges. Go the fuck home and don't ever contact her again." I dropped him onto the ground and he ran. I saw his car pull out and then I took my phone out and called May.

"You can unlock the door now. I'm here."

She sobbed and I heard the lock click, but she didn't come out.

"Do you need me to come in and get you?"

She sobbed, "Y-y-y-e-ssss."

I stepped in; she was huddled in the far corner on the floor crying. I walked over and gently scooped her up in my arms and held her to my chest. "I've got you kiddo. Everything's okay. He can't hurt you now. He's gone. I'm taking you home." I carried her to the car and set her in the passenger's seat and buckled her in. I called Bella to let her know I was on my way back to their apartment with May and then I started the car and drove her home.

When we got to the apartment I carried her back up the stairs. Her demeanor was very similar to the day her mom died three years earlier when I had carried her out of the hospital room. When we got upstairs Bella was at the door with Alice. I brought her to her bed room and left her with Alice and Bella and headed to the living room. I grabbed Edward and dragged him into the guest bedroom I shot Jazz a glare that meant 'stay the fuck where you are' he seemed to understand.

"Edward, what the fuck! What took her ten minutes to call me back when I told you it was an emergency?"

"Jake, we were in a scene when you called."

"So!"

"She was in inverted suspension when you called. I barely answered the phone, but I figured it had to be an emergency when both our cells went off and the house phone kept ringing. I didn't want to leave her in suspension. She shouldn't even be walking yet, Jake! She's supposed to rest after suspension. It took ten minutes to get her down and able to hold the phone and then she demanded that we ignore normal aftercare and I get her back here ASAP. She's going to be really sore in the morning."

"Okay, I understand man, but next time keep a phone in the playroom. She has a teenager she's responsible for and that needs to be a priority for you too! And only a few of us have your home number. I would only ever call if it were a real emergency! You know I don't want to interrupt you guys. I'm honestly really happy for her; just remember that she's a big sister before she's your sub."

We walked out of the bedroom and Emmett and Rose were in the living room. I could only say, "What the fuck! Does everyone need to be here?"

Jasper responded, "Well I thought Rose could help May since she's been assaulted before." Rosalie gave me a sad smile.

"Sorry, I didn't know," I said.

"Only Jazz and Emmett knew," she said, "but when I found out what happened I told Emmett we were coming over. I'm going to join the girls in a few minutes; I wanted to let her feel safe first."

"Okay. Let me know if I can do anything," I said.

"Jake you rescued her; just being here is enough for her. Trust me. She just needs some space from guys right now."

"Okay, I'll make some food." I said, "I'm not sure about the rest of you, but I didn't get to eat much tonight." I headed into the kitchen and started making some spaghetti and coffee; it was going to be a long night. After I got things started I stepped out to the balcony and called Leah. I had just left her at the restaurant without any explanation; I knew she was going to be pissed. She didn't answer her phone.

I got her voice mail. "You've reached Leah, leave a message after the beep."

"Hey, Leah, it's Jake. Sorry, I left you at the restaurant like that. It was an emergency. Please call me back."

A couple hours later Leah called me back while we were waiting on the girls to come give us an update on how May was doing. I stepped back out to the balcony and took the call.

"Hey, Leah."

"Jake," she replied angrily.

"Listen about tonight, I'm sorry. There was an emergency."

"Don't bother explaining, Jake," she said coldly.

"Okay, you don't want to know what happened?"

"Not particularly. May called. You tossed some cash on the table and you left."

"Well, it was an emergency," I tried to explain.

"And you're the only person she could call?"

"No, but..."

"Don't bother, Jake. You talk to her more than me, you spend more time with her than me, May and Bella are your priority. I realized that tonight, so save it. I can't carry on a relationship with a man who always puts other women first."

"What is that supposed to mean, Leah? She's just a kid and I'm her friend. Bella has been my best friend for years. I have never put Bella above you since we started dating."

"Yeah, but you continue to hang onto her kid sister."

"Leah, she's lost everyone. Do you have any idea how hard that kid's life has been? Bella and I have been some of her only constants. I'm not gonna leave her hanging if she needs me."

"I know Jake, and that is why this isn't gonna work for me. If you ever had to choose between me and that girl, she would win every time. Fuck! We can't even go on a date until after you have a phone conversation with her, which you have every night."

"Okay, Leah. I respect your decision. It was fun while it lasted. See you 'round."

"You aren't even going to try and change my mind?"

"Nope. You've made your position clear. You can't respect my obligations and I needed to be there tonight. Bye, Leah." I hung up the phone.

I headed back to the living room. "Don't even ask," I said to the guys.

"That bad?" Emmett asked.

I nodded.

"Leah?"

I nodded again.

"Well it wasn't meant to be, man."

"Yeah that's abundantly fucking clear now." I laid my head back against the couch. A while later Rose came out and asked if Jazz could go in and see May as a psychiatrist. The girls stepped out and told us she was doing better, but wanted to talk things over with Jazz before she saw any of the rest of us. Edward took Bella into his lap and whispered in her ear. She told him that she would be sleeping with Renesmee and if he wanted to he could go home. She would call him in the morning. He said he'd stick around until she went to bed.

"Jake," Bella said, "thanks so much for being there when she needed you tonight. Why don't you spend the night; you know where the bedding is for the couch. I'm sure she'll want to talk to you in the morning."

"Sure, sure, Bells," I replied.

She thanked everyone else for coming and told them she would call them when May was ready to see them. Rose, Emmett, Alice and Jasper headed out after Jasper had come out and told us that she wanted to go to bed. Bella headed in to sleep with May, Edward left, and I set up the couch and set my phone alarm so I could run before she woke up.

I rolled off the couch in the morning and headed down to my car to grab sweats and a tee-shirt. I came back up and changed, then headed out for my hour run. When I got back in at 5:30 the girls were still out cold so I took a quick shower, got dressed and got coffee going. At 6am May came out to the kitchen and hugged me.

"Thank you so much, Jake."

"Hey, there is no need to thank me. I'm just glad you're okay."

We did our morning prayers while Bella fixed breakfast for us all.

"So what do you guys want to do today?" Bella asked while we were eating.

"I'm game for whatever," I said. "How 'bout May's choice today?"

"Okay well, I'd like to go to Forks and visit with Uncle Carl, Aunt Esme, Charlie, and Billy. Maybe we could do a bonfire tonight too," she said.

"Sure, sure, kiddo. I'll call Billy and see what I can set up. If he can get a permit we'll be good to go. We need to drop by my place first if we are spending the night in Forks cause these clothes will really stink if I try to get them to last the whole weekend."

The girls giggled.

"How about we leave at 7:30? I'll run to my place and get my stuff while you two get ready."

They both agreed and I headed over to my place and called Billy to see if he could get us a fire permit. We had a great time in Forks and La Push and I was glad May seemed to have recovered from the events of the previous night.

~*O*~

A few months later I finally caved to Bella and Edward's offer to join them in play. Bella kept begging and saying she still needed me and I just didn't have the strength to deny her any further. I really still cared about her. Besides Leah and I actually never made it to having sex, so I hadn't had sex in over six months at that point and decided as long as the boundaries were clear the three of us could make it work occasionally.

It was a bit different playing with Edward and Bella as Master and slave. The rules were much stricter; I needed his permission to make any contact with her since she was his. She was truly servile and submissive to his will and it was a beautiful thing to watch. It was also great to participate in. It was nice to just get pleasure from the encounter and leave all the pain and control in his hands. After she'd serviced both of us with her mouth and pussy and the scene ended. We all agreed we should do it again, but only once every several months.

~*O*~

RPOV

After the incident at the movies I was afraid of dating. I didn't want to even go to school dances because the boys from O'Dea would be there. I was sixteen and didn't want to date; my friends kept offering to set me up with guys they knew, but I didn't want to tell them why I didn't date so they just thought I was weird. There were some rumors at school that I was into girls, but I just ignored those and kept my mind to my studies and long distance running.

One morning in January, I realized all my leggings were dirty, but it was a full dress day at school and it was cold out. I had to wear a skirt, but I really needed the leggings for warmth with the uniform.

"Bella, can I borrow a set of black leggings? Mine are all dirty."

"I told you, you should've done laundry yesterday," she scolded.

"I know, I know. Can I just borrow some? I'll do laundry tonight."

"Sure thing, just grab 'em out of my dresser."

I headed into her room and started looking through her drawers for leggings. I found a drawer full of sex toys and a case of DVDs. I moved on, noting that I should check that drawer later. I finally found the leggings and headed off to school with Alice.

After track practice, Jake picked me up. We did our prayers, and talked about our days. He told me that Bella had a date that night. "Do you want me to pick up some movies and stick around, kiddo?"

This was just what I needed to check out that drawer: privacy. "Nah, I don't need a babysitter and I have a lot of homework and laundry to do tonight. I think I'd be pretty bad company. Can we rain check for the weekend?"

"Sure, sure. If you need anything just call. I'll be at home watching movies."

When we got to the house, Jake quickly left after walking me in. I got the laundry going and had a Healthy Choice dinner. Then I headed back into Bella's room to check out those DVDs. They all looked home made with limited writing it looked like a code: 'J-B-8-10', 'J-B-E-3-11', 'E-B-9-11', and 'E-B-J-12-11' I brought the case to my room and put the first one labeled 'J-B-8-10' into my laptop. It was a tape of Bella and Jake having sex, but he was very rough with her and she seemed to be enjoying the roughness. It was very exciting to watch, but I felt guilty for invading their privacy. I found myself getting extremely excited watching it. I watched the other three videos as well. Two were of Jake, Bella, and Edward. The first with all three seemed as though Jake controlled the entire encounter and the other one with all three had Edward in control and Bella calling him master and taking his instructions to orally pleasure one of them while the other had sex with her. The other DVD was of Bella and Edward and she was tied to an X while he spanked her and then had sex with her from behind. I decided to try masturbating that night, after I copied all four movies onto my laptop and put them back in Bella's room.

I found myself masturbating to thoughts of Jake doing those things to me and imagining myself in Bella's place. Over the next several months I started watching the movies many times a week and rubbing myself until I climaxed at these thoughts. I was in confession once a week talking about my impure thoughts about a man. I was given advice to pray more, but that just reminded me of Jake.

I did some research on Washington State law; I wanted to know what the age of consent was so I could try and get Jake to see me as a potential girlfriend. It turns out in Washington the age of consent is 16, so I could try and get him to see me that way. I started rolling my skirt after track just before he'd come pick me up, so it was a bit shorter and I would strip out of my over shirts so I just had a tank top on. One day in June my efforts finally seemed to capture his attention.

"Hey, kiddo, did the school alter the dress code?" he asked

_Dammit! Why does he have to call me 'kiddo?' Why can't he see what I am offering?_ "No, it's after hours. I can wear what I like and it's so hot today I just didn't want to have all those layers on."

"Sure, sure. I can't imagine your legs are comfortable with that skirt hiked up so high. I imagine you'll stick to the leather seats with the heat today."

Argh! "What you want me to cover up some more? Are you worried my sweat will ruin your interior?" I snapped.

"Nevermind, May. Forget I said anything. Let's just do our prayers. Okay?"

"Sure, sure."

~*O*~

JPOV

_What the fuck! She's 16. You can't have these thoughts about her. She's like a little sister. She's like a little sister. She's like a little sister. Why the hell does she keep wearing her skirt so short? It is driving me crazy. She's like your little sister. It's illegal. You could go to jail if you do anything with her before she is 18. Why would she even want me, I'm 6 years older than her? Could she even know what wearing that skimpy tank top and short plaid skirt does to me? She is fucking hot, but she is just a kid. Fuck! I need to call Bella and Edward and see if we can set up a play time. I need to get laid. I can't handle this. _

_She's like a bottled hard on the past few months. I never thought she would turn out hotter than Bella, but fuck me, she is. _ She has a perfect hour glass figure and is taller and curvier than Bella which apparently came from Phil's side of her family. Her beautiful long hair just coasts down her back. _She's like a little sister!_ These thoughts had been running through my mind for the last several months, as her outfits seemed to get more and more liberal. Finally I asked her about the dress code and she snapped at me. I needed to have Bells talk to her. _I can't keep picking her up if this is going to continue._ I called Bella and asked her to meet the next night, we needed to talk about May and I would bring up the idea of a threesome soon too. We had Alice take May out to the movies that night and met at my place.

"Hey, Bells." I hugged her. "How you been?"

"Good, Jake, what's up?"

"You've gotta help me, Bells."

"Okay, Jake, tell me what's going on."

"It's about May," I said, rubbing my hand over my face.

"I kind of figured as much," she said, sarcastically.

"I can't keep picking her up if she is going to keep dressing the way she has been."

"What? She's wearing a uniform, how has it changed that suddenly you can't drive her anymore?"

"She's hiking up her skirt and taking off her sweater and blouse after track so she is just left in a tiny tank top by the time I pick her up."

"Seriously?" She seemed shocked.

"Yeah, haven't you noticed when she walks in the door?"

"No! She comes in looking just like she looked when she left. She must be setting everything back to normal when she gets in the building before she comes upstairs."

"Bells, I know she's your baby sister and I respect that, but I'm not going to be able to spend as much time with her if she doesn't start dressing appropriately around me. I can't handle the level of frustration I'm in, especially since I don't have a girlfriend and I'm not getting laid regularly."

"No, you're right, Jake. I'll talk to her tomorrow morning. It's inappropriate," she said. "I'll also talk to Edward and see if we can set up some playtime with you for this month since you're clearly in need. I'll ask him to give you a call, if he is okay with it."

~*O*~

RPOV

I got in from my overnight with Alice and Bella was in the kitchen waiting for me. She told me to take a seat.

"May, we need to have a talk about sex and appropriate behavior. You've managed to put off this conversation for three years, but now we need to have it."

"Okay, sis."

"What do you know about sex?"

"I know the mechanics, and I know you can get pregnant and diseases from having it."

"Are you having sex?"

"No. I told you I would come to you before I did that."

"Are you still planning on waiting for marriage?"

"Frankly, no."

"Okay, if you're okay with it, I'd like you to see a gynecologist to get your first female health exam and we can get you birth control, just in case."

"Birth control is against my religion."

"Sweetie, they let it slide all the time. We're all sinners, but if you have sex you need to be protected. I want you to promise me you'll double protect; use a condom every time and take the pill. Abortion is much worse than prevention and I know you aren't ready for a child."

"Okay, Bella, I promise." I rolled my eyes. "Are we done now?"

"No," she said, "we need to talk about Jake."

"What about him?"

"Why are you altering your clothes for your rides home?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't lie to me, Renesmee. I've known Jacob many years and he's upset about this so you need to be honest with me."

"Whatever." I sighed.

"Don't you say 'whatever' to me; you know that I feel that is disrespectful."

"This entire conversation is disrespectful to me."

"We need to talk about this."

"No, we don't."

"I know you have a crush on him."

"So, what if I do? It's not like he sees me as anything other than your kid sister."

"That isn't all he sees you as; he genuinely cares about you, but you have got to stop altering your clothes."

"Why? I just want him to see me as a woman."

"You're 16! He could be arrested if he were to touch you the way you want him to!"

"I'm almost 17! Besides, Washington's age of consent is 16. I can have sex with anyone I want, as long as, they aren't my boss, teacher, or relative, once I'm 16."

She gasped.

"You looked into that?"

"Yeah, I did. I'm only interested in him."

"He won't touch you."

"Why not? Is it because you two are still fucking?" I said the words before I had considered them.

She slapped me. "I'm with Edward!"

"Yeah, but sometimes he shares you with Jake." I was too angry to keep my mouth shut.

"How the hell do you know that?"

"If you don't want people to know – you shouldn't record it."

She gasped again. "You were in my drawers!"

"You told me to get leggings this past winter; I found your video collection." I smirked. "You really ought to lock up your play things if you don't want other people to find them."

"Go to your room!"

"Gladly."

~*O*~

JPOV

I was just walking home from the gym when the phone rang. I saw Bella's name flash on my caller id. "Hey, Bells," I answered cheerfully.

"Hey, Jake," she said softly.

I knew something was very wrong. "What's wrong? I know that voice and nothing good can come of that."

"We have a problem. May knows about our play time."

"How the hell did she find out about that?"

"She found some DVDs in my drawers."

"Seriously, Bells?" I sighed exasperated. _ When the fuck did she stop locking the door to her bedroom? How the fuck did May find videos?_

"Yeah," she admitted.

"How bad?" I turned to walk toward their apartment instead of mine.

"Full scenes, two involving all three of us, one of you and me, and one of Edward and me."

"Shit!" The kid was going to think I was a deviant.

"Just come over, Jake. Edward's on his way now; when you both get here we'll discuss it as adults and then decide how to address it with her."

"Okay, I'm already on my way," I answered, then realized I needed to know if she'd at least gotten to talk to the girl about her clothing. "Did you talk to her about her wardrobe?"

"That conversation got stalled when she let it slip that she had seen the videos. I sent her to her room as soon as I realized there'd been a confidentiality breach."

"How did the talk get that far off topic?" I was beyond frustrated. I should have just spoken to May myself.

She dodged my question, "I'll explain when you get here; we have a lot to talk about."

"Alright, I'm in the building now. I'll see you in a few minutes."

Bella answered the door. "I'm sorry."

I held up a hand. "Don't. Let's wait until Edward gets here." I didn't want to lay my feelings bare on this issue twice, once would be hard enough.

We waited in awkward silence until Edward showed up a few minutes later. Then we all talked in the living room.

Bella began, obviously ashamed, "I'm so sorry, guys. I shouldn't have left those DVDs where she could find them."

"Bella, I'm going to be as polite and respectful as possible, but let me be clear: _I am pissed,_" I responded to her apology, while rubbing a hand over my face.

Edward pinched his nose and said, "Things like this occasionally happen. Don't feel too bad; we'll deal with it. Can you show us the videos?"

Like he'd care, it's not like it mattered to him, May was just his girlfriend's sister whereas Bella and I both cared deeply about what she thought. I was sure she thought of us as sickos.

"Sure," she answered and pressed play. "We don't need sound, so do either of you have any objection to running through them at 4x speed?"

I signaled with a hand to just get on with it. I watched myself tie Bella up, hit her with a flogger and fuck the daylights out of her in one scene, another video was of our first threesome, another was a threesome we'd had six months earlier, and another was a pretty hardcore spanking and anal scene with Edward. When our humiliation was complete, I sank into the couch.

Edward commented, "It could be worse."

I laughed darkly. "That was pretty bad. What could have been worse?"

"If we'd recorded your training sessions or if we had any video involving my old sub. I don't even want to imagine how that bitch would react. She and her master could have destroyed our reputations in the community if she'd been involved with any of this," he explained. "So, Bella, how exactly did you figure out she watched these, if it happened months ago?"

"She has a crush on Jake and was dressing inappropriately around him. I was confronting her about that. She told me she'd looked into the age of consent in Washington and she can legally have sex with anyone she wants. I got pissed about that and told her that Jake wouldn't touch her. Sorry Jake, for not talking to you about it, but I figured you wouldn't do anything no matter what she did, since you're so protective of her."

"It's fine," I answered. I certainly wasn't going to bone Renesmee. She was only sixteen for Christ's sake; regardless of how much of a show the kid put on, she wouldn't get me that way. "Just tell us how you found out."

"Well she exploded at me about how you and I were still fucking. I replied that I was with Edward and she said something about you two sharing me. That's when I slapped her and asked her how she knew and she admitted that she'd seen these videos. I sent her to her room and called you two."

Okay, that I couldn't just let slide. The kid was sixteen and not a member of our lifestyle. Yeah she fucked up, but Bella fucked up just as much. May didn't deserve to be hit. "Was it really necessary to slap her, Bells?"

"Sorry. I was angry and couldn't take her attitude. Teenagers need a heavy hand sometimes," she replied caustically.

"Sorry, Bells, but seriously, if you'd been pissed at Renee when you were sixteen and you knew she was fucking not only Phil, but also a guy you had a crush on, wouldn't you have said some pretty awful things?"

"I would never have spoken to my mother the way May spoke to me, and please don't call our play time fucking."

I let the fucking comment go, but as if Renesmee wouldn't know the difference between play time and fucking. "You aren't her mother," I reminded her, "and she would never give Esme an attitude, but you're her sister and sisters fight. You can't treat her like you'd expect your mom to treat her. I would have runaway if Becks or Rach ever hit me for copping an attitude with them, but Billy could treat me like shit and I'd never leave him."

"Jacob, Bella is doing the best she can with taking care of May. Please just give her a break," Edward asked.

"Bells, I'm sorry. I know you're in a tough situation and I made it worse by not being direct with May, but please don't hit her again. She isn't a member of our lifestyle, she isn't your kid, and she's never been physically punished in her whole life. You and I both know Phil didn't allow either of you girls to be punished like that."

"Fine, Jake. I won't do it again, but I'm not going to apologize either. She's _my_ sister and she pushed me too far," Bella replied. "So what do we say to her?"

"I think we tell her the truth that we are all consenting adults who have healthy sex lives and that these aren't things you talk about with anyone," Edward said.

"I agree," I added.

"Should all three of us talk to her about it?" she asked.

"I think that would be best. As long as Jake doesn't think it's too awkward with everything else you were discussing this morning," Edward looked over to me as he spoke.

"No, I think I should be here. Yeah, it'll be awkward, but we all need to be on the same page. Bells, do you have any punishment in mind?"

"I was going to have her pick her own with my approval of course."

"Well," I started, "she needs to be disciplined for three separate things: first invading all of our privacy, second her behavior and attire with me for the last few months, and three, her attitude toward you this morning. I don't really care what punishment you administer for the first and third things, but the second one should result in a direct loss of quality time with me. She needs to understand that her actions have consequences and I can't spend time with her if she's gonna behave like that. So I'll only talk with her on the phone twice a day to pray and I'll bring her to church and immediately home on Sundays. You two'll have to ask Alice or Rose to watch her if you need private time. I also think she probably shouldn't be home alone as much since she's invaded your privacy while you weren't around."

I thought for a minute then added, "Oh, and if I know May, you probably want to check her computer for digital copies."

"Edward do you have anything to add for punishment?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think we should get her involved in a volunteer program while we're working so she's not home alone this summer. We have one at the hospital where she can read to the kids."

"Alright, why don't we all go take seats at the table and I'll get her and her laptop."

We sat at the ends of the table and left the sides for Bella and May.

"Renesmee, join us in the kitchen," Bella commanded from outside her door. She came out in a huff and slammed the door behind her. "Go take a seat and cut the attitude; you're digging a deeper hole for yourself, young lady." She plopped into a chair with a huff and crossed her arms. Bella got May's laptop and set it in front of me. May's jaw dropped.

"Why did you grab my laptop?" she asked in a sudden panic.

"So, Jake can check it for digital copies and anything else you are hiding from us," Bella answered.

"No!" May shrieked. "He can't!"

"Renesmee, you have invaded all of our privacy and betrayed our trust," Edward began. "We're going to talk about this in depth, but first we need to see just how deep your betrayal goes."

"Bella, can you look? Not Jake. Anyone but Jake. Please."

_What was the problem with me looking?_

"No, Renesmee, Jacob is going to do this," Bella answered. "Edward and I are not as tech savvy as Jake and I'm not getting anyone else involved in this mess."

"May, you need to input your password," I asked.

"No!" she answered petulantly.

She should know better than to challenge me. "Okay, how well do you think I know you?" I asked. "I'm sure I can crack your password, but if I crack it, we'll double your punishment time. Right now it's at one month. And you need to cut the attitude or the punishment is going to increase."

"No." She got up and tried to yank her computer away. I blocked her with my back. There wasn't any logic behind her attack. She was less than half my size and trying to use brute strength against me. All I had to do was keep her from damaging herself or her computer.

"Sit down, May!" Edward commanded, but she kept trying to get to the laptop.

Bella started laughing. "Did you bother to watch those videos? You do realize you are in this room with two dominant men who have no qualms about restraining you if you don't stop this minute."

_Jesus, Bells, think before you speak._ I couldn't believe Bella had seriously just made a threat like that against a minor on mine and Edward's behalf. _Had she already forgotten everything I said earlier about May not being part of the lifestyle? Did she really think either Edward or I would use force against a minor?_

She kept trying to get her laptop, but I had it covered.

"Renesmee, stop!" Edward commanded. When she didn't, he grabbed her upper arms and pulled her back to the chair.

She kept fighting him.

"Stop! You need to stop now! This is going to happen whether you like it or not. I'll let you go when Jacob is done with the laptop," he informed her.

She kept struggling, but he was much stronger than her.

"Okay, young lady, you're up to six weeks punishment – one week for trying to grab the laptop and one week for resisting being restrained. Do you want to keep this up and make it seven? And don't forget whatever you get is getting doubled unless you login yourself." Edward reminded her.

She calmed down. Then he let her go and went back to his seat.

I opened the computer and started working on her password. After my first failed attempt the computer let me link to her clue, which was, 'Love_Date.' I tried all her favorite things, her parents names, and her favorite prayers, combined with various important dates, but something about the way she had flipped out earlier made me think I was the key. I decided to try my name with various dates that were important to her. As a final possibility before moving on to a different idea I tried 'JacobEphraimBlack_1-5-90.' I was pretty sure I had never told her my middle name, but surprisingly the password screen finally let me into the computer.

"I'm in," I announced.

May's face reddened in shame.

I felt I needed to explain to her. "It was kind of a weak password, especially for me with your clue, but I won't tell anyone else, there's no reason to add insult to injury. I'm guessing your other passwords will all be similar. Yes?"

She nodded with a guilty look. She wouldn't make eye contact with any of us.

I cruised through her system shocked by what I was finding. _Oh my fucking God! She's totally obsessed with me. Fuck, this can't be healthy._ I did a search of my name and found hundreds of diary entries, plenty of pictures and the videos; she had taken screen shots of the videos to make pictures of me. I didn't read her diary, but I did scan it for inappropriate pictures. I didn't want to know her thoughts and she needed some privacy. We were so much worse for doing this, than she had been for being curious about some videos. _Fuck what kid hadn't found porn in an adult's drawer. _

She had only watched the video with just Edward and Bella once and then she had watched the other three multiple times and viewed the one of just me and Bella seventy-three times. When I got into her pic file, I understood why she didn't want me shuffling through her computer. She had print screened still images from the videos and cropped in so I was the only person in the pics.

I had a moment where I considered stopping this before she felt anymore violated. Then I found a manipulated pic where she had removed Bella from a scene where she was blowing me and put herself into it. I wanted to throw up. It was too much. My resolve was suddenly renewed. I knew we at least needed to clean and purge her computer of all this shit. The pic was pretty believable and regardless of the fact that I knew it was completely fake it could put me in prison or at least into serious hot water.

I let Edward and Bella know most of what I found. "I found the videos; she copied them on January twentieth and she's viewed them all 112 times. She hasn't made any more copies or uploaded them to any websites. But her internet usage changed substantially in January. She'd never visited a porn site before then, and since then she has been cruising for BDSM information and porn. I think we should either put parental controls on this or confiscate it until her punishment is over. Also, I won't even discuss the things I just found in her personal pics and diary."

She was crying, but still managed to glare at me.

After seeing the pics I didn't have much compassion left in me. "Sorry, kiddo, you brought this on yourself. I'm gonna delete the inappropriate content, add parental controls with a strong password that only I'll know, clear the cache, cookies, and history, and run a complete virus sweep while we talk about this. I'll leave the text in your diary alone. That's yours and none of any of our business. I didn't read it, but I did remove any inappropriate pictures. I know you're embarrassed, but consider how we felt this morning when we learned that you'd seen those videos."

"Thank you, Jake," Bella said.

I nodded.

Bella continued, "May, we need to talk to you about what you saw in those videos, but I want to finish addressing the issues we were discussing this morning before I found out about this. First, I need to address what I said about Jake not touching you. I didn't mean to make you mad, but what I said has nothing to do with my relationship with him and more to do with your relationship with him and the man I know him to be. While I know this is a bit awkward for all of us it needs to be said. Jake has always been extremely protective of you and cares a great deal about you. He isn't going to lay a finger on you unless he's a hundred percent sure that you're emotionally ready for a relationship and your behavior over the past six months hasn't given any indication that you are. I'm not making any implications here that he has any sort of romantic feelings toward you either, that's his business and he's made it clear to me that you're too young for him to feel that way."

I just stared at the table. I wasn't the least bit interested after everything I'd seen.

Bella continued, "You've disrespected Jake by your behavior for the last few months and your attire. You should have spoken to me before you attempted to get him to see you as a woman, but your actions have to have consequences and you knew what you were doing was wrong or you wouldn't have set your clothing straight before walking in for dinner every night. Jacob set your punishment for your behavior toward him."

I took a deep breath and steeled myself to face this head on. I looked Renesmee in the eyes and said, "May, you need to understand that what you were doing wasn't okay. Had I known you were hiding it from Bella, I would've taken action sooner, but hindsight is twenty-twenty, and now we need to react to what's already happened. There's a reason your school has a dress code and it is a matter of respect and responsibility to dress like a lady in front of me and everyone else. You've been dressing like a tramp, excuse my language, for our rides home and it's inappropriate. What you've been wearing in my car is only appropriate behind closed doors. It isn't fair to me to have you dress that way. So as a consequence I'm suspending our quality time during your entire punishment. You can still call me twice a day to pray and I'll still attend church with you, but we won't be spending any more time together while you're in punishment."

She gasped, "That's 12 weeks!"

"You should have thought about that before you refused to enter your password," I replied.

"But..." she began.

"Do you want to add more time?" Edward asked. "Do not talk back to us."

She closed her mouth and shook her head.

"Now as to your attitude and behavior today, I'd like you to set the punishment," Bella said.

"I'll apologize to everyone in letters and do all the household chores during my punishment."

"That's acceptable. For your invasion of our privacy, I'm confiscating your computer for 23 hours a day until school starts. I'll let you use it for one hour a day to Skype, email your friends and family, and write in your diary. I'll decide how often you get it after school begins again. We also can't trust you by yourself in the house, so you'll never be left home alone during your punishment, which means that we need to find you something to do to take up your time during the summer; Edward suggests volunteering at the hospital, but if you have an alternate volunteering idea I'm all ears. On nights when Edward and I want to be alone you'll stay with Alice or Emmett, or we'll have you visit Aunt Esme and Uncle Carl since we can't have Jake spend time with you until after your punishment is over. I'm also enrolling you in a driver's education course for the summer since you suddenly have an abundance of time available to you. Do you want Edward to set you up to read to children or do you have an alternate idea?"

"Yes, please. Reading to kids sounds good," she answered softly.

"Okay, now we need to talk about what you saw and what it means," Bella said and turned the floor over to Edward.

"Renesmee, I'll address what you saw on the tapes. We're part of a community of adults who enjoy those sorts of activities. It's a very small group of people who engage in these activities and everyone involved is a consenting adult," Edward began. "When we engage with each other there are clear rules and guidelines that everyone abides by. One of those rules is that if anyone says, 'Red,' we stop immediately. So unless you heard 'Red' everything you saw was wanted and consented to. Again we're all consenting adults who have agreed to this willingly. Any explanation beyond that is too much information for you.

"I need to stress the importance of confidentiality. We all have jobs and real lives and would rather not share this part of our lives with others so you can't share what you know about us with anyone. Do you understand?"

She nodded.

"Did you tell anyone about what you saw?"

She shook her head.

"Do you have any questions?" Edward asked.

"How do I get involved?" She asked.

I groaned and rubbed my face. _Worst possible case scenario: she finds videos and decides she wants to become a member of the community. Fuck my life._

"You aren't ready for that, but if you're still interested when you're older you can talk to your sister about that," Edward responded calmly.

"I want to apologize to each of you," May began. "I know my behavior was unacceptable and I'll work on earning your trust again. I'm so sorry."

We nodded.

"You can go to your room for now and write your apologies," Bella told her.

She went to her room.

"Fuck. That was awkward," I said.

"I know, Jake," Bella replied, "but you held your composure well. Are you sure she won't figure out your password?"

"Positive, Bells," I replied. I had typed a sentence in Quileute, which translated as 'you'll never guess' with my mother's birth date strung backwards through it after each word. "It's a really strong password. I think Emmett's the only person we know who could break it and once you tell him she's grounded he won't help her break it."

"I wasn't going to tell Emmett," Bella said.

"Love, I think we have to tell the family she's grounded, but we don't need to tell them why," Edward said. "Otherwise they'll ask her why. Just tell them the reasons for her punishment are between you and her and ask for their help in keeping her within the rules."

"Okay, I'll let them know then," she replied.

_Bella was right about my feelings when she told her that I wouldn't lay a finger on her. Especially not now that I've seen that stuff; it's unhealthy for her to feel that strongly. _ _She is borderline obsessed._ _Maybe today's talk will result in her being so angry at me that her feelings will fade. _ _Some time apart would be good for both of us. I doubt she'll even call me to pray she was so mortified about what happened. Now she knows how we felt. _

I talked to Bells about May's birthday before I left since it would fall while she was still in punishment. Rose and I had already put a fair amount of time into her gift and I didn't really want to give it to her when she couldn't enjoy it and I couldn't teach her to use it. Bella said she would have Alice hold the party off for an extra week. I also knew it was going to be rather inconvenient for Bella or Alice to pick her up from school until the middle of September, but we would do what we had to enforce the consequences.

When I came to pick her up for church the next day, she gave me her apology letter and apologized, but otherwise the ride was silent for which I was grateful. I didn't really know if I could handle a rehash of any of our talk. She seemed to understand that she was already on thin ice and just accepted the consequences.

I waited until I was home to read the letter.

_Dear Jake,_

_I know my behavior to you has been disrespectful and irresponsible. I am sorry. I never should have gone into Bella's drawers when I knew what was in there was personal and private. I never should have lied to you about why I was doing the things I was doing. I am very, very sorry for that. It was wrong of me to attempt to prevent you from accessing my laptop and I regret my actions and attitude during our meeting. I know you were just doing what you had to do in order to see how badly I had violated all of your trust. _

_You have the most reason to be angry at me. I practically threw away our relationship because of my teenage emotions and hormones. I am sorry for humiliating you and for risking our friendship. I will behave in a more lady like manner in the future. _

_I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me._

_Sincerely,_

_Renesmee Carlie Dwyer_

I penned a simple response and dropped it at their apartment.

_May,_

_I forgive you. _

_-Jake_

Her behavior dramatically improved over the summer and she attempted to not even seem sad that we couldn't spend time together.

~*O*~

_**AN: Renesmee is correct about the age of consent, but wrong about whether Jake and her constitute a "significant relationship" it would in fact be illegal because of his past actions as her caretaker.**_


	4. Summer of Punishment

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes _RARE_ Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship. **

At this point the content won't have many lemons, but we start to get some lemonade in a few chapters and a lot more after that. When I start doing Jake & Ness lemons I'll try for an average of one good one per chapter – some may have none others may have two. I have been asked why** Jake is calling her 'May' he will start to call her Nessie in one more chapter. There are two reasons for this 1. I want 'Nessie' or 'Ness' to be his (and only his) special nickname for her and 2. I am using it as a way for him to transition from identifying with her as a young girl to identifying her as a woman he can love.**

This chapter is shorter than normal, but the next is longer so it all balances. If I get 7 reviews I will post the next chapter tonight; if not I'll hold it for a bit, but not too long. I want to get it out to you for your feedback as much as you want to read it

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS!**

**Special thanks to my BETA imnotbambi you're amazing and so fast. :-)**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while.**

* * *

The Summer from Hell

June 2012 – May 2013

RPOV

Normally, my summer would consist of days at the beach and visits to Forks and La Push with my best friend, Jake. However this summer is anything, but normal. This is my summer of punishment. I can't use my laptop except for one hour every evening. I can't hang out with Jake. I have to volunteer at the hospital. I have to do all the household chores. The only bright spot is that I am taking driver's ed. I can't even talk to Jake except to pray. Every time I try to talk to him he reminds me that I have to live with the consequences of my actions and then says if we are done praying he needs to get off the phone. Bella won't let me stay in the apartment alone, anymore so I have to always have her with me or spend time with Alice and Jazz or Rose and Em.

Well I guess that is what I get for being nosy. It sucks though.

But what sucks the most is that all of my efforts backfired. Not only did Jake _not_ see me as an adult, but my behavior led him to see me as more immature than before. It's now apparent to me that he can't see me as anything other than Bella's kid sister, so I need to let go of my feelings for him and move on.

A nice boy I met in the volunteering program at the hospital asked me out. I had to tell him I was grounded until September, but if he was still interested we could go out after that. His name is Nahuel and his Dad is an international businessman who was hired by Starbucks to manage their South and Central American coffee bean purchases.

Bella did bring me to the gynecologists office and the Doctor did an exam on me and told me about the risks of STDs and pregnancy. She was nice and she put me on a low dose birth control that had the least side effects and gave me a paper bag of condoms. I'll take the pills because Bella was very adamant about it and I promised her I would.

Bella and I talked a little over the summer about her choice to be a submissive. I was interested and she was reluctant to discuss it, but she did keep emphasizing that my choices are my own and I shouldn't do anything because I think Jake will like me more if I engage in BDSM. I told her that I honestly was excited by what I saw in the videos and that I had never seen anything as beautiful as her submitting to Edward and Jake. She keeps trying to convince me not to go after Jake, and I get it. I told her I was letting go of my feelings for him since they obviously couldn't go anywhere.

She told me we would be holding my birthday party a week late so that I would be out of punishment. She told me I could invite as many people as I wanted and that Alice was planning it so I just needed to let Alice know who I wanted there from my friends. I asked Alice to invite my friends, Claire, Emily, Carmen, Zafrina, Kachiri, and Senna from my school and Nahuel from the volunteer program.

* * *

The party was at a restaurant downtown and my family said that they would give me my present after all my friends left. We had a great time and I got music and gift cards to my favorite stores from my friends. After I had thanked all my friends they left and my family brought out their gifts. Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme all bought me all new clothes. Emmett got me my first ever gym membership at the gym the rest of the family goes to in Seattle. Bella, Edward, Rose, and Jake got together to give me my very first car. Edward and Bella had contributed all the money to get it for me and Jake and Rose did all the work restoring it to perfect condition. It was a cherry red convertible 1969 Ford Mustang Cobra. Rose and Jake had redesigned the engine for higher performance and put in a six speed transmission.

I couldn't believe that after everything I did wrong last year they got me a car. I broke down into tears at the sight of it. I was so emotional I couldn't even express my gratitude. Jake also promised to teach me to drive a stick so that I could actually drive my baby. I had earned my license the day after I turned 17 on my first attempt at the exam.

I was so happy to have things back to normal. The school wouldn't let us park on campus so I would have Jake drive my car to work and then when he picked me up I would drive us home. It was easier than I thought it would be to learn to drive a standard.

I was dating Nahuel and he didn't seem interested in sex so we just were hanging out and making out occasionally. Alice told me that she didn't think Nahuel was right for me and that I shouldn't get too attached to him. I asked her why and she said it wasn't her place to say, but told me again I should end things with him. I ignored her advice, rather stupidly and then one day while we were out on a date I saw him check out a group of hot guys who walked by us. Suddenly I understood Alice's warnings.

"Nahuel, is there something you need to tell me?" I asked, not quite sure if I wanted an answer.

"No May. Why are you asking?" He said, not looking me in the eye.

"I just saw you check out those boys."

He froze, "You did?"

"Yeah I did."

"You can't tell anyone." I just stared at him.

"Who the heck would I tell? What am I just a fake girlfriend to impress your dad with?"

"No, I really do care about you May."

"You've been using me! And lying to me! Those aren't the actions of someone who cares."

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you." I couldn't even look at him. I ran to my car and got in and drove away.

* * *

JPOV

I was in bed watching the late night news when I heard a knock on my door. I went to the door and cracked it open. May was standing there crying. Her eyes and face were bright red and blotchy; she was sobbing so hard her body was shaking. I threw the door open and gave her a hug, not really caring that I only had boxers on.

"What happened, May?"

"He's gay!" She cried. I ushered her into the house and sat her down on my bed.

"I just need to put some pants on and let Bella know you're here... then we can talk all you want." She nodded and I went into my bathroom to toss on some sweats. I text messaged Bella. **May is at my place, very upset. I'll bring her home after she calms down.** I grabbed her a glass of water and sat down beside her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "Okay tell me what happened."

"We were out on a date -" she took a deep breath and a sip of the water, "- and I saw him checking out a group of boys who walked by. So I asked him about it. All he cared about was that I didn't tell anyone. He didn't even think about my feelings." She sobbed.

"Shhh... it will be okay, sweetheart." I soothed her while she cried into my chest.

"Why does my taste in men suck?" She whimpered.

"It doesn't suck – you've just been unlucky."

"No I have bad taste!" She cried. "First I choose Alec and he tried to force himself on me. Then I pick you and you hate me. Then I turned Nahuel gay."

"Shhh... sweetie. I never hated you and you didn't turn Nahuel gay. People can't make other people gay. He just couldn't accept himself so he tried to be straight. It happens all the time. It isn't your fault. And you can hardly be blamed for going out with Alec – you had no way of knowing he would be a jerk."

She looked up into my eyes. "You don't hate me?"

"No," I chuckled, "what would ever make you think that?"

"You barely spoke to me all last summer. And I was such a brat to you. How could you not hate me after my behavior?" She looked honestly confused.

"You were just young and immature – and I didn't talk to you much because you were in punishment and that was part of it. Last summer was really tough for me. You are one of my closest friends I really missed you, but we had to set consequences for your behavior."

"It was hard for you, too?"

"Well it certainly wasn't a walk in the park."

"But _you_ set the no quality time rule?"

"Yeah, but it is always harder to administer punishment to people you care about than to receive it." I sighed. "I had to pick a punishment that would really stick with you and make you realize how bad your actions were. I wasn't happy about it, but I think it was necessary. Tell me, May, would anything else have impacted you the way that did?"

"No, I guess not. That hurt me the most."

"Yeah, I know. But you learned not to do that shit anymore, right?"

"Yeah, I learned my lesson."

"Do you want some coffee or tea kiddo? I'm going to make some."

"No, water is fine." I got up and got some coffee going. "Jake?" She asked while I was pouring the water into the machine.

"Hmm..." I replied.

"What's wrong with me?"

"Excuse me?" I put the coffee pot in the machine and flicked it on.

"There must be something wrong with me." She started to cry again.

I knelt down so we were eye to eye. "Listen to me, May." I commanded. "There is nothing wrong with you. You are a beautiful, wonderful, amazing person and any guy would be lucky to have you."

"But, not you." She whispered sadly. Dammit! Why does she do this to me?

"It's wrong – I can't."

"What's so wrong with it."

"You're only seventeen."

"Washington State says I am old enough."

"I don't care what is legal or not. I say you're not old enough."

"When will I be old enough? What is the difference between me now and when I am 18?"

"It isn't about that. You don't have enough life experience. You should be enjoying high school with your friends and going to dances and having fun. You shouldn't be settling down with a 23 year old mechanic whose idea of a good Friday night is falling asleep in front of the late night news. I want you to be free to fool around and be reckless and not worry about Bella or my judgment. I want you to feel safe when you are doing those things knowing you can always call me and I'll be there. I don't want to be the person putting you in those situations because then I won't be here to pick up the pieces when I am the reason you are scared or upset."

"You'd never be the reason I was scared or upset."

"You can't say that. You are upset over me right now.

"Not really. I am just trying to understand why we can't be together when you are all I want." Why does she say things like that? Does she have any idea what that does to me?

"Finish high school first, live your life and we'll see if we are both available after that." I got up and poured myself a cup of coffee.

"I can live with that."

"Do not hang on to hope, I am not making any promises. Either one of us could find someone in the meantime. I just don't want to keep having this chat and I am telling you nothing will happen until you are at least done with high school."

"I can wait."

"No!" I said a bit louder than I meant to, "I want you to live. Do not wait for me. Let things happen naturally, if you are interested in a guy go out with him. You don't have to, but I don't want you to wait for me. Give guys your own age a shot. Don't close your heart while you wait for me."

"Okay."

"Do you promise not to just wait for me? Do you promise to let things happen naturally?"

"I promise."

"Okay kiddo. We'll see what the future holds. Do you want me to take you home?"

"Can I stay here for a while?"

"Sure, but not overnight. Pick a movie. When it is over I'll take you home."

"_Die Hard with a Vengeance_."

"Sure, sure. Let's watch New York get terrorized by thieves." I put the movie in. "You want popcorn or candy?"

"Candy sounds good. What d'you have?"

"Nonpareils and Sour Patch Watermelons, as always."

"Watermelons sound great. Nonpareils are only good with popcorn. You got any Cherry Coke?"

"Of course, my lady." She grabbed two glasses and the soda out of the fridge while I queued up the movie and grabbed the candy. I sent Bella a text: **Watching Die Hard 3 now. Will bring her home around 2am.** It was Friday night so I didn't expect her to respond.

We laid back in my bed munching on candy and watching _Die Hard 3_. She fell asleep about 15 minutes from the end. I let her nap until the end of the movie, then picked her up, and drove her home. I would normally walk her but she was pretty tired and I wanted to make sure her car was parked in her space for the morning. She went back to sleep in the car so I carried her upstairs unlocked the apartment with my key and put her to bed. I left a note, '_Your car is in its spot. Don't worry about our normal 6am wake up call. Just call me when you get up. -Jake_' I set the note on top of her phone and disabled all her morning alarms on her clock and cell phone. I walked home, turned the ringer on my phone to full volume, and went to sleep. I'd go for a run after she called in the morning.

**Coming up:**

**Jake opened my door and set me in the car. "Nessie, stay here." He commanded as he locked the door and closed it.**

**Jake walked around the car. Felix's large form was dwarfed by Jake when he stood before him. "Felix I am giving you one more shot to turn around and walk away." Felix swung wildly. Jake caught his wrist mid-swing. Jake used Felix's momentum to spin him around and twist his arm behind his back. Jake whispered something into Felix's ear and pushed him to the ground. Jake pressed his knee into Felix's back and said loudly, "Don't bother her again. Do not call her. Do not text her. Do not message her. She doesn't want to ever hear from you again. If I so much as hear you asked about her, I promise you I will hurt you so bad that you won't remember your own name."**


	5. Weddings and Winter Formal

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes _RARE_ Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship. **

At this point the content won't have many lemons, but we start to get some lemonade in a few chapters and a lot more after that. When I start doing Jake & Ness lemons I'll try for an average of one good one per chapter – some may have none others may have two. **First, let me say that thank you all and I appreciate the reviews I woke up from my nap and had to cancel my second betas work because you all were so good I can get this out tonight.** Second, the story moves into the decidedly romantic phase at the end of this chapter. I have the next few chapters in the hands of my two awesome beta readers so I will post the first date after I get that fully beta-ed.

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS!**

**Special thanks to my first beta imnotbambi you're amazing and so fast. :-)**

* * *

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while.**

Summer of Engagements and Weddings

May 2013 – Jan 2014

RPOV

Rose and Emmett and Bella and Edward both got engaged in May. Bella and Edward decided to get married in August and Rose and Emmett were getting married in early September. The garage was doing very well for Jake and Rose; they had purchased a tow truck and were turning a solid profit. It was still just the two of them working there, but they said they had expansion plans. Jake was going to have to either hire a temp to help out while Rose was away for her honeymoon or cut down on the number of cars he could service for the month of September.

Bella and I would be moving into Edward's house after the wedding. It was about 20 minutes from our old place, so we would have to figure out my transportation arrangements later since Jake and Alice weren't convenient anymore. Jake was actually looking for a new apartment or house in Bellevue so he could be closer to the garage. He had only kept his efficiency for so long because it was dirt cheap and near Bella and I.

He eventually found a three-bedroom condo about two blocks from the garage that he could afford and started looking for roommates to share the cost with. Two of his classmates from high school, Quil and Embry, were actually looking to move to Seattle and they worked it out so they could all move in on August 1st. Jake ended up hiring Quil to help out at the garage to cover for Rose's absence, run the Tow Truck, do house calls, and cover for Jake so he could spend more time doing the books and managing the business. Embry was working as a chef at the Fairmont Hotel. He had a degree in culinary arts from some high class cooking school in Denver.

Bella and Edward were getting married on a yacht in Puget Sound. Alice planned the wedding, Jasper was the best man and I was the maid of honor. There were no other attendants. We all had a great time and Edward's parents were very nice people.

After the wedding Edward and Bella went on a two week honeymoon to South America and I stayed in Forks with Uncle Carl and Aunt Esme for those two weeks. Apparently Emmett, Rose, Jake, Alice, and Jasper would move all our stuff from the apartment to our new home while we were all away. I had only been to Edward's house a couple times over the years while he was dating Bella, but Esme redesigned a bedroom just for me. It would have an oriental theme with red walls and dark angular furniture. I loved her design for me and Jake and Alice promised they would make the room perfect for me. I was really excited. I was headed into my senior year at Forest Ridge and I am turning 18. I had started applying to colleges, and all in all, I was very happy with my life.

When Edward and Bella got back we got settled into his house and he explained the house rules and which rooms were strictly off limits to me. There were three rooms off limits: the master bedroom, a guest room, and a room he said would always be locked when I was in the house. I assume there must have been some kinky stuff in there.

Rose and Emmett's wedding was a lot of fun too. Alice was her maid of honor and Bella and I were bridesmaids; Jake was the best man and Edward and Jasper were ushers. It was a quiet ceremony held at the house in Forks. It was very similar to Alice and Jasper's wedding, but a lot more extravagant. Emmett invited a bunch of his friends from college and Rose had a slew of her high school and beauty pageant friends in attendance. Even with all the extra people around it was clear the eight of us were still a very tight knit group. We were a family. Jake flirted with a bunch of the pageant girls, but I had no right to get jealous as we had both agreed to live our lives and see what would happen naturally. He did start dancing with me exclusively when Emmett's buddies started hitting on me.

"Jealous, Jake?" I asked him as he twirled me around the room.

"Nope, just looking out for you."

"I think I can take care of myself."

"I know you can, but those guys are trashed and may not realize how old you are. I wouldn't want you being taken advantage of by a drunken frat boy."

"Like Emmett or Uncle Carl would let that happen."

He wiggled his eyes at me and started pouting, "What – you don't want to dance with me?"

I giggled, "No, I love to dance with you, but I wouldn't want to take you away from the beauty queens you've been flirting with all night."

"Them? I don't care about those girls. I am just being polite to them."

"Sure, sure," I laughed.

"Seriously, those girls are all fake and fluff. They couldn't hold my interest."

"No, but they might be a good lay..." I giggled.

"May." He scolded warningly.

"Sorry."

"Do you really think that little of me that you believe I would sleep with someone I didn't care about?" He asked.

"No, I didn't mean it. I spoke before I thought."

"Okay, just forget it. Let's dance."

We spent the remainder of the night dancing and chatting.

* * *

I was making my short list of colleges to apply to in November when Jake and I had our next argument. I was intentionally only applying to schools in Washington and Oregon. He was upset that I was limiting myself to these areas.

"May, you should apply to some of the good schools in other parts of the country," he started to tell me.

"No." I said simply.

"Why not? You are too smart to limit your options like this."

"Jake, I don't want to go anywhere else."

"You agreed not to hold out hope for me. You agreed not to make life decisions based on me."

"I'm not, Jake."

"Then please enlighten me, because you seem to be avoiding any school that is more than a four hour drive from Seattle."

"You are right about that, but you aren't the reason."

"Then what is?"

"Jacob, Mom and Dad died six years ago. Since then my family has been my whole life. I need them like I need air. I need to be close to them." I could see the guilt wash over his face.

"Sorry for assuming – and being pushy. I didn't mean to bring that up."

"I know. I'm okay, but you need to trust me. I am not making major life decisions based around you, which is why no matter what you said I refused to look at schools that were far away. I know what I need and I need to be near my family. I need my support network. I know you wanted me to apply to a bunch of Ivy League schools, but that isn't my priority. My first choice is Seattle University because I want to be here, not because you are here, but because everyone else that I love is."

"Okay, I can accept that. Sorry for pushing you."

"I forgive you." I smiled sweetly and gave him a hug. "Oh, by the way one of my friend's set me up with a date to the winter formal."

"Yeah? Which friend?"

"Zafrina."

"Tell me what you know about the guy."

"His name is Felix and he plays Basketball at Bishop Blanchet High. He is a national merit scholar. He is a senior and Catholic. His parents and Zafrina's folks have been friends for years. She is dating his brother Demetri."

"Do you want me and Emmett to give him a hard time on the night of the dance?"

"No, I might actually want a second date and I wouldn't want you two scaring him off that quickly." I chuckled.

"Well, a dance is fairly safe since you are in a room with a lot of people. Just don't let him take you out of the gym and make sure if you leave the public area you go with another girl."

"You are so overprotective sometimes." I rolled my eyes. "I know how to be safe."

"I know, I know. Just keep your cell on you at all times – you never know when you will need a ride home. Oh – and Charlie always made Bella bring pepper spray on dates... I'm sure I can get you a small can for your purse from him." He laughed and shook his head.

"Yeah, that is a sure fire way to get a second date with a guy; mace him in the eyes." I giggled.

"Yeah – I'm lucky she never used it on me. I once had her spray it on me as part of a dare from Emmett. Damn – it burned, but I got revenge the next summer..."

I bit my lip. "Should I even ask?"

"Alice, Bells, Em, and I were camping and I knew he was out of clothes on the last day. I sprayed Bella's pepper spray in his last clean pair of boxers while he slept. He changed into them in the morning. We packed up and took off for our long drive. It was a hot day. I noticed him starting to itch about an hour into the day as we were packing up the Jeep. He shrugged it off. Remember the Jeep has no A/C."

Jake took a swig of his soda before he continued.

"About two hours into the four hour drive home he finally couldn't take it anymore and he called Carlisle to ask if there was someway a virgin could get an STD. The girls were in on the prank, so they were trying hard to keep straight faces. Then he spent a while trying to figure out if he had squatted in poison ivy, oak, or sumac. He even asked the girls if they saw any. Finally, after about 20 minutes of him talking to Carlisle, Bella and Alice broke into a giggle fit and he knew he had been played. He asked what they had done to him and they looked at me. He put me on the phone with Carlisle because I refused to tell him. Carlisle gave me a lecture and threatened to call my father so I told him. Emmett was livid and Carlisle was howling in laughter, but had me give the phone back to Emmett. Apparently, he had Emmett find a stream to wash up in and then change into dirty clothes." I was rolling in laughter as he told the story and Jake just chuckled at the memory.

"You two were evil to each other."

"We still are. Didn't you hear my wedding toast?" Jake winked at me.

"Yeah, yeah, I heard it. I am just glad most of the folks there thought you were being sincere and nice and didn't realize how bad you were busting his balls. What the heck was that BS about the soup kitchen where you met? I know that isn't how you two met."

"Emmett and I got into some trouble with Charlie when I was learning to drive. I was driving illegally. Charlie forced us to volunteer at the soup kitchen for 300 hours as punishment and of course Carlisle and Billy thought it was a great way for us to build character. That was our lost summer. So I thought I would remind him of the trouble we got into without actually telling everyone about it."

"Oh, that explains Emmett's face during the toast." I took a drink of my soda. "What other sorts of trouble did the four of you get into before I came to Forks?"

"Well, there was the time Emmett and I swapped all of Bella and Alice's clothes while they were at the movies. They were both livid in the morning when they found out."

"I can only imagine. They may be best friends, but their fashion senses are dramatically different."

"I think the worst punishment Emmett and I ever got was for the time we transplanted Esme's entire garden. All we did was swap each plant from one side of the house to the other, but neither of us will ever screw with Esme or her belongings again. She made us volunteer to weatherize homes for the elderly as punishment."

I raised my eyebrows at him; it didn't sound like much of a punishment.

"Have you ever done work for old people?" I shook my head. "They are so incredibly picky. They don't appreciate that you are doing this for free, they nitpick at every single thing you do, and stand outside and watch you work to make sure you are doing it right." He chuckled. "Whenever I have a bad customer at the shop I think back to one of the old ladies, Mrs. Matthews, and remind myself if I could be polite to that witch I can be polite to anyone who walks through my door. I swear Emmett wanted to wring her neck some days. I think we both would have rather been beaten by our fathers than have to keep volunteering for the elderly, but we kept it up until Esme decided we had learned our lessons."

"Wow, Jake you two really were awful. I'm glad I never got on Aunt Esme's bad side."

* * *

Winter Formal

Alice helped me pick a very couture tea length cream colored dress. I drove to Zafrina's house the night of the dance. Her cousins, Kachiri and Senna were getting ready there too and Carmen would be meeting us at the restaurant with her boyfriend, Eleazar. Kachiri's date was a Junior from O'Dea named Mike and Senna was going with her boyfriend Alex, who attended public school.

We all helped with each others' hair. Mine was styled in a French twist with curls flowing from the back. I did Senna's French braid and curled Zafrina's hair while Senna was creating elaborate braids in Kachiri's long hair. We did our make up and were in our dresses by the time Mike, Alex, Demetri, and Felix arrived to pick us up.

Felix gave me a pink wrist corsage made of roses and orchids. We took two cars, Demetri, Felix, Zafrina, and I in one and everyone else in the other. We met Carmen and Eleazar at a small Japanese Restaurant and all ten of us were seated at a large hibachi grill where the chefs cooked in front of us. We had a great time and then headed to the dance. I had a very pleasant evening and the pepper spray wasn't necessary at all, but I was thoroughly amused when I found it in my small handbag half way through the night. I text messaged Jake.

**Thanks for the pepper spray, goober, haven't needed it so far – evening going very well. ;-) ~M.**

A few minutes later I got a reply.

**Second date material? -J.**

I wrote back immediately.

**Looks like it, but he still has another couple hours to make the evening an epic fail. Now, I need to get back to my date. I'll call you when I am on my way home and let you know how it went. 3 ~M.**

Felix was very polite and nice for the rest of the evening. After the dance he walked me to Zafrina's door.

"I had a very nice time tonight, May," Felix said.

"I did too."

"Can we do it again sometime?"

"Sure, what do you have in mind?"

"One of my friends is having a New Years Eve get together, would you like to join me?"

"Sure."

"I can pick you up around six that night."

"That sounds good. I'll send you a message on Facebook with my address and directions."

"Goodnight." He leaned in for a kiss and I let him have a soft chaste kiss.

"Goodnight, Felix." I headed into Zafrina's house. I got changed back into my sweats and took my hair down for the drive home.

I called Jake on hands free once I was in my car and drove home.

"Hey, May."

"Hey, Jake."

"So was it an epic fail?" He sounded a little bit hopeful.

"Nope, he was a perfect gentleman and we made plans for New Years Eve." I chuckled.

"Well, that's great, May. I'm sure you will have a great time."

"Well, we'll see where it goes. Do you want to pray with me tonight or are you too busy?"

"I'm never too busy for you, kiddo." He just had to remind me that I'm just a kid to him.

"Hey, don't call me that." I huffed.

"What?"

"Don't call me 'kiddo'."

"Why not?"

"It makes me feel like a child. Legally, I'm an adult and I would appreciate it if you could treat me as such."

"Sorry, it's just a nickname. I didn't mean anything by it. I know you're an adult. I guess I'll have to come up with a different nickname for you."

"Sure, sure. Let me know what you come up with."

"Alright, I'll let you know when I come up with something. Let's pray."

December 31, 2013

Jake and I talked at around 5:30 pm to say our prayers since we both had plans for the evening. He had a date with some girl he met at the gym – I think her name was Chelsea. They were going to a party with Edward, Bella, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rose, and Embry. Jake and Bella were the designated drivers for the evening.

Jake had come up with a nickname for me: Nessie. Bella didn't like it much, but only Jake was using it so she let it slide without too much of a fuss, but she did mention that Mom never would have allowed me to go by a nickname that was inspired by the Loch Ness monster.

Felix arrived at the house at 6pm on the dot. Bella and Edward invited him in and chatted with him for a few minutes. Then we left. We drove for about twenty minutes and arrived at a house in Shoreline. I noticed that there were no parents there and there seemed to be a lot of people drinking and smoking something that smelled a bit like a skunk. I asked Felix what it was he said it was weed and asked if I wanted any. I said no. Then he asked if I wanted a drink. I politely declined, but went to the kitchen and grabbed myself some water.

We hung out for a while then he mingled with some of his friends and I chatted with some girls I had met at other events.

"Hey, May." Felix came up behind me and put his hands on my waist at around 11:30.

"Hey," I replied and turned to face him. He reeked of beer and weed.

"You want to get out of here?" He asked suggestively.

"I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Oh come on, baby." He slurred his words a bit. "You know you want to."

"No, I don't," I said firmly. "In fact, I think I need to be getting home."

"It's not even midnight yet." He argued.

"I don't care what time it is. I'm going home."

"Okay let me get my jacket and I'll drive you."

"No you won't! You're drunk!"

"How are you getting home then?" He said.

"I'll call a cab."

"Don't be stubborn. I am perfectly fine to drive you." He grabbed my arm hard and started walking me toward the door.

"STOP!" I yelled. He kept walking. I balled my other hand in a fist and swung out with all my force. He was surprised, so he let me go and I darted out of his reach and ran to the closest bathroom. I locked the door, grabbed my cell phone from my purse, and noticed the pepper spray. I took that out to have it easily on hand. Then I called Jake.

"Nessie, what's up?" I heard him holler over the music at the party where he was.

"Jake, I am locked in a bathroom. I need a ride home." I was starting to hyperventilate.

"What happened, Ness?" He growled. I tried to steady my breathing to tell him. "You know what? Never mind. I just have to find one of the guys and give them money for a cab... I am coming to find you, then you can tell me. Just hold on a sec and stay on the phone."

"O-kay." I choked out, but I was starting to feel better just having him on the phone.

"Embry!" I heard him holler. A few seconds later he said, "hey man, here's eighty bucks for a cab – an emergency came up. Can you get Chelsea and the others home?" He paused. "No, feel free – things weren't working out with her anyway. Apologize to the others and tell them I'll call 'em later." He then turned his attention back to me. "Nessie, you still there?"

"Y-e-sss..." I stuttered out.

"Okay, tell me where you are. I'm headed to my car now"

"Somewhere in Shoreline." I choked out.

"Shoreline is a pretty big area. Can you be more specific?"

"I don't know..." I was starting to hyperventilate again.

"Okay, Ness. Don't worry, I _will_ find you. I need you to calm down right now. Can you do that for me?"

I worked to calm my breathing. "I'll try."

"Okay, just listen to my voice and follow my instructions. Breathe in through your nose. Hold it for five seconds. Now breathe out slowly through your mouth. Do it again." I followed his instructions and settled my breathing. "Better?"

"Much."

"Just keep breathing slow and steady. I am on my way. I am in my car and headed toward Shoreline now. Do you remember anything from your drive over?"

"Yeah we turned right at a Casino and we are in a suburban neighborhood. You know the type where all the houses are the same."

"Do you remember anything about the Casino?" I tried to think back.

"Yeah – it was one story and had red music notes and white lettering on a blue awning."

"I need you to close your eyes and try to remember anything else you can?" I did as he told me. All I remembered were dice.

"There were dice on the sign, but that is all I can remember."

"Okay, do you know how many blocks you traveled after taking that turn?"

"No, I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention to the road."

"It's okay. Don't apologize. Do you remember about how many minutes you were in the car after that turn?"

"Maybe five to ten. I'm not really sure Jake..." I started getting anxious again and breathing more heavily.

"Slow and steady breaths, Renesmee." He commanded. "I promise nothing will happen to you. I _will_ find you." I believed him and steadied my breathing. "Okay – sweetie, I need you to put me on speakerphone."

I pressed the menu key and put him on speaker. "Done."

"Okay, now press your home key – it will bring you to your main screen."

"Done."

"Now I want you to go to your Google map feature – it has a GPS built in. It isn't perfectly accurate, but it will get me close enough to find the party."

"Okay, I did that. It is finding my location now."

"Alright, what streets are near you?"

"The GPS put me in the middle of the block bordered by Dayton Ave North, North 167th St., North 166th St., and Freemont Ave North."

"Okay, I am in Shoreline now. I am inputting those streets into my car's GPS now. I have directions and am turning at the casino now."

"Okay, Jake."

"Tell me what happened while you wait for me to find you."

"Do you want me to keep you on speaker?"

"Yeah, I want to hear the music so if there is more than one party in the neighborhood I can identify the one you are at."

"Okay, Jake," I breathed. "Felix got drunk and high. He wanted me to go someplace private with him. I said no and then told him I was going to go home. He got upset and offered to drive me... I told him no. I didn't tell him about how my parent's died so he had no way of knowing why I didn't want to go with him. He told me I was being stubborn and tried to drag me to the car. I decked him and ran in here and locked the door."

"Okay, sweetie. I'm almost there. I am turning onto 166th Street now. There are a bunch of cars parked on the street. Turn the volume up." I did. "Yeah I have the right house. I am parking the car now and coming in. What floor are you on?"

"The first."

"Okay, stay put – I'll find you." I heard him knocking on a door through the phone.

"Not that room, Jake."

I heard him shuffling through some people. Then I heard the sweetest voice through the door, "How about this one?" I unlocked the door and jumped into his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. "I've got you now Nessie. You're okay. I won't let anything happen to you." He held me tightly.

"Jake!" I cried out as I was overwhelmed with relief and gratitude. I sobbed into his shirt.

"What the fuck, May?" I heard Felix yell out. "Who is this douche? You're my girl. Why are you wrapped around him?"

"Nessie, is that him?" Jake whispered in my ear. I just nodded into his chest. Jake spoke very fiercely as he carried me out of the house. "Felix, I suggest you back the fuck off unless you want your ass kicked tonight."

"You don't scare me." Felix yelled as he followed us to the car.

Jake opened the door to the passenger seat and gently set me in the car. "Nessie, stay here." He commanded as he locked the door and closed it.

Jake walked around the car. Felix's large form was dwarfed by Jake's even larger one when he stood before him.

"Felix, I am giving you one more shot to turn around and walk the fuck away." Felix didn't even answer before he swung wildly. Jake caught his wrist mid-swing. Jake used Felix's momentum to spin him around and twist his arm behind his back. Jake whispered something into Felix's ear and pushed him to the ground. Jake pressed his knee into Felix's back and said loudly, "Don't bother her again. Do not call her. Do not text her. Do not message her. She doesn't want to ever hear from you again. If I so much as _hear_ you asked about her, I promise you – I will hurt you so bad that you won't remember your own name."

Felix cried out, "I promise – I'll never go near her again, just let me go!"

"Stay down until we leave!" Jake ordered and got up. He got in the car and we sped away.

"You okay?" He asked as he wrapped an arm around me. I cuddled into his side.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for ruining your night."

"You didn't ruin my night, Nessie."

"But, you were on a date..."

"You always come first. Besides the date had already gone down the tubes. She was kind of a lush. Embry'll probably get lucky with her though after I ditched her."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, she is a lot sluttier than I expected too, in addition to being a lot drunker than I could tolerate. I guess she is different at the gym in the mornings compared to the party girl I saw tonight. In fact, I should be thanking you. You probably saved me from a kiss that would have cursed all of 2014 for me."

"Well, anyway – I'm sorry you had to lay out so much money for cab fare."

"Hey," he said firmly, "Don't apologize. I'm glad you called me. Don't worry about the money - your safety is more important than money to me."

"Well, I am just spectacular at putting myself in danger... this is all my fault."

"None of this is your fault. You did absolutely the right thing and if someone is to blame for you being in this situation it's me."

"How could you possibly be to blame Jake? You rescued me like always." I muttered.

"This is my fault because I'm a stubborn idiotic ass..."

"No, you aren't," I interjected.

"If I wasn't such an idiot, we would have started dating months ago and you never would have felt the need to go on a first date with Felix, much less a second."

"I thought you wanted to wait..." I was confused again. "I thought I was too young for you."

"I've spent the last year pretending I felt that way." He squeezed my shoulders and pulled the car over into a parking lot. He unbuckled my belt and pulled me into his lap. I was too stunned to react.

"Remember that day when we had _that discussion_ with Bella and Edward?" He waited for a response. I nodded. How could I forget the most humiliating experience of my life? "I was trying to protect you and I ended up hurting you by forcing you to seek relationships with two guys you should have never gone out with. I was afraid of having a relationship with you so I pushed you away. I knew as soon as I read your apology letter to me that you were mature enough for a serious relationship, but I couldn't help but feel it was wrong." He brushed his fingers against my cheek. "Do you understand what I am trying to say? I feel like I am saying this all wrong." He groaned in frustration.

"I _think_, I understand," I said hesitantly. I didn't want to hope. If I was wrong I would be shattered by Jacob's rejection once again.

"You seem unsure. Can you tell me what you think I was trying to say?" I shook my head and could feel my face flush with heat. "Hey... don't go all shy on me now."

"I'm not shy," I blurted out.

"Then what's wrong? Why won't you talk to me?"

"I'm afraid..."

"Of what?" He demanded. "No one can hurt you while you're with me."

"I'm afraid of hoping and being wrong again..."

"Then let me reassure you. You aren't wrong. Not this time." He smiled and kissed my forehead. "Renesmee, will you go out with me?"

I giggled. "I don't know..." I hedged and bit my lip. "What does going out with you entail?" I teased.

"Well you'd have to let me take you out for dinners, movies... maybe dancing once in a while, some walks, maybe bowling and pool too." He chuckled.

"That sounds like what we already do... what would be different?"

"Well you'd have to let me pay without complaint and maybe we could do a few other things."

"Hmmm... other things. Like what sort of other things?" I asked playfully.

"Hmmm... I don't know," he said huskily against my ear. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and ear. "Maybe we could hold hands..." he squeezed my hand gently, "...maybe we could cuddle." He trailed his fingers up my arm. I sighed contentedly. "Maybe if I am lucky we could kiss." He placed a line of soft kisses from just below my earlobe down my neck to the back of my collarbone. I moaned. "Is that a yes?"

"Definitely."

"Glad to know I haven't lost my powers of persuasion," He laughed cockily. "Now as much as I'd love to continue this, you've had enough excitement for one night, and I want to wait until we have a proper date to really kiss you."

I huffed a bit as he lifted me from his lap and set me back in my seat. He started the car and headed back toward my house.

"Patience, Nessie. Good things come to those who wait," he chuckled. "Besides I still have to stick around your place until Edward and Bella get back so I can tell Bells we're dating. I have a long night ahead of me."

"I'll tell her; you can just head home after you drop me off."

"No, Nessie. You'll be in bed resting. I need to tell Bella."

I rolled my eyes at him. "I thought I was old enough to date? Shouldn't it be my decision who I date? Shouldn't I be the one to tell my sister and take responsibility for my choices?"

"If I was any other guy and this was any other situation I would agree with you, but please let me do this my way. Bella and I have a complex relationship and while I am sure she will be happy for both of us she was under the impression I would wait until you had graduated. I changed the plans tonight, so I need to take responsibility for that change in direction. Can you respect that?"

"Of course, Jake. I just didn't even think about that."

"I know. It's okay. We'll be home soon." He took my hand and we finished the drive in comfortable silence.

JPOV

I made some coffee and changed into some of the sweats I keep at Bella's so I could use the workout room. I was still angry about Felix and I needed to blow off some steam by running, but didn't want to leave Nessie alone in the house tonight. I set my iPod for my workout music and started running on the treadmill. Thankfully Edward always buys the most advanced technology he can get so I was able to max out my speed on his treadmill. I quickly increased the speed to 12 miles per hour and ran at full intensity.

I thought about how badly I had fucked up by pushing Nessie away. I thought about what could have happened if she had gotten in that car. I thought about what could have happened if I hadn't found the party. I punished my body by keeping up the brutal pace. After 9 miles at that pace I knew I needed to slow down or I would injure myself or Edward's equipment. I slowed the pace to 8 miles per hour and ran another 3 miles while thinking about what a lucky bastard I was to have Nessie in my life. I ended the workout, did my stretches, took a shower, and changed back into my jeans and polo from earlier in the night. I grabbed myself a cup of coffee and waited for Bella and Edward to get in from driving Alice and Jazz home.

It was 2:30 am when I heard the garage door open.

"Jake?" Bella called out.

"In the kitchen," I answered as I fixed two more cups of coffee.

"Embry told us you had an emergency and had to take off. I got real worried when I saw your car in the driveway. Is May okay?"

"Yeah she is fine. She needed a ride home and didn't know where she was. She's upstairs asleep, now. We need to talk Bells. Do either of you want some coffee?"

"Just water for me." Edward said. I tossed him a bottle of water.

"Is this talk going to take that long Jake?" Bella said, "It's almost three and I'd like to go to bed."

"Well, Nessie and I are dating now."

"I guess I will need that coffee..." She sighed.

I handed her a cup of coffee. "How exactly does you leaving the party for an emergency turn into you dating my baby sister?"

"Bells, she is eighteen. You and I both know she is not a baby anymore." I snapped. "You certainly didn't think I was a baby when we were screwing and I was two years younger than she is now." Edward put a hand on her shoulder, possibly to calm her temper, possibly to remind us all that she belongs to him.

"I know, Jake. Sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I know she is far more mature than either of us were at eighteen. I just get a bit protective of her." Bella explained. "Now, could you please tell us what happened tonight?"

I told them everything that happened.

"So obviously, now that I'm with Nessie, I am going to be monogamous. You'll need to find someone else to play with if you need a third."

"Jacob," Edward said sharply. "_You_ are the only person we trust enough to join us. I have _never_ shared a collared sub before I met you two. We just won't be engaging in threesomes. Our relationship is _different_ because I trained _both of you_."

"Sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to imply..." I trailed off.

"I understand Jacob. Just mind your place with me." I nodded. "So is she still interested in the scene? I know she was two years ago, but a lot has changed."

"I honestly don't know; it isn't something we ever discussed after that day." I explained. "I'm okay with whatever she wants when she wants it, but I'd rather take some time so she can explore the vanilla world before she even considers the scene."

"Good luck with that," Bella said sardonically.

"What do you know, love?" Edward asked.

"I won't tell you what she and I discussed in confidence," Bella replied.

"Of course not, love. Can you tell us what you think based only on your observations and understanding of the lifestyle without violating her trust?"

"Umm... maybe give me a minute to think about that." I was interested, but wasn't sure if the three of us should be having this discussion without Nessie.

"Maybe we should wait until she is awake to talk about this." I suggested. "Or heck maybe we should just see where the relationship takes us. I don't even know if it will get to a point where this is an issue."

"Jacob," Edward began. "Don't lie to yourself. May is a born sub. She isn't quite as submissive as Isabella, but very few subs are. Then again, you aren't as Dominant as I am so maybe it is a match made in heaven. Just let us know if she decides on the lifestyle and you need help with her training." I hadn't even considered that. How in the hell could I train her? If that was what she wanted I would, but damn that would be difficult. Edward started chuckling at me. "Your face says it all, Jacob. I wish you luck with trying to satisfy her with a vanilla lifestyle. Just let me know if you need advice or assistance when you finally realize she needs more than that. You're perfectly capable of giving her what she needs and we will always be here for both of you."

"Thanks, man, but I'm really going to try to keep her happy with a normal lifestyle."

"While this discussion has been fun it's getting late and I need to get my wife to the bedroom and let her work off some of that coffee so we can both sleep tonight. Good night Jacob, feel free to use the guest room." He and Bella headed upstairs.

I washed the coffee cups, reset the coffee maker for later in the morning, and headed up to the guest bedroom. I laid in bed and tried to forget the last part of our conversation. I would take my time with Nessie and make everything special. I would let things happen naturally, but try to keep her patient so our relationship wouldn't progress too fast.

**Coming up:**

**The boat started moving away from the dock. I relaxed into his arms and just let my senses take over. I could feel the cool light mist on my face. The smell of the sea air and salt mingled with Jacob's masculine scent of balsam and mint. The views of the harbor and the sound were beautiful grays and blues even though visibility was limited by the weather. The feel of the waves crashing swaying the boat reminded me of my childhood fishing trips with Dad. I could hear the waves sloshing, the rumble of the motor, the murmurs of the other passengers, and beneath all of it I could hear Jacob's steady breathing and heartbeat since my head was against his chest. I was more relaxed than I had been in ages and just happy to enjoy the hour cruise with my Jacob, my love, my safe harbor.**

**As the boat pulled back into the harbor I noticed Jake tense a bit. "Ness," he whispered in my ear, his hot breath ghosting across my cheek.**

"**Hmmm." I sighed happily.**

"**May I please kiss you?"**

**I spun in his arms and smiled up at him. "Of course." He slowly moved his lips to mine and kissed me softly and I could feel all his love and caring in that kiss.**


	6. First Date

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes _RARE_ Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship. **

At this point the content won't have many lemons, but we start to get some lemonade in a few chapters and a lot more after that. When I start doing Jake & Ness lemons I'll try for an average of one good one per chapter – some may have none others may have two. 9,260 words of actual content in this chapter, I never thought it would be this easy to write. I always thought I wasn't creative enough to write fanfiction. Well, LOL my students aren't getting their papers graded on time and I haven't even started taking my exam that is due on Tuesday. I just can't stop writing for you guys.

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS! Sometime within the next 36 hours I will have my next chapter fully betaed – If I get 10 reviews I will post as soon as it is clean if not I'll hold out a little while. **

Special thanks to my first beta **i'mnotbambi**: for reminding me of the difference between _your_ and _you're_ and be my amazing grammar queen. You've improved my writing so much. Special thanks also go to my second beta **Sonja Cullen**: for helping me develop Nessie's excited thoughts and differences between RPOV and JPOV and for helping me develop more sex appeal for readers.

**Visual stimulation: www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/toe_to_chapter/set?id=18132260 **

Don't get too excited about the nightgown and condoms – the J/N vanilla lemons begin in Chapter 8.

* * *

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while.**

First Date

RPOV

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Jacob took me on our first date on his twenty-fourth birthday. I'd been dreaming of this day for three years. I never thought this day would ever come. I was finally going on my first date with Jacob Black. He told me he had a whole day planned for us and I should just dress as I would on any other Sunday. I must have tried on five different outfits before settling on a gray cowl neck sweater dress, black leggings, and black leather knee high boots with a four inch heel. Alice would definitely approve of this outfit; I just hope I get the reaction I am looking for from Jacob.

I began pacing the floor anxious to see Jake and worried about how I looked. I changed my hairstyle six times because I wanted him to see me as a woman instead of the girl he called 'kiddo' for all those years. I finally decided to leave my hair down; ringlets of red curls clung to my slender hips. I ran my fingers through my hair near my face to give it body and I was finally pleased with the look.

Just before 8am I finished the last touches to my hair and walked out to the living room to peak out the window and look for Jacob's car. To my relief, he had just parked the car and was walking up the path to the house. My cheeks grew warm as my eyes ravaged the form of the gorgeous man approaching my house.

My Jacob is an Adonis. His tall muscular body is a feast for the eyes. My gaze traced the outline of his face, full lips, and glorious body. _God, what I would do to have him touch me with those large strong hands._ Jacob wore a light blue dress shirt, a gray v-neck sweater, khaki pants, black dress shoes, and a black leather jacket. Thankfully, Jacob had not looked up or he would have seen me standing at the window with my mouth agape.

I raced to the door and opened it before Jacob had the opportunity to ring the bell. As I threw the door open I yelled, "Happy Birthday, Jacob!" and then leaned against him to hug him. I must have caught him off guard because he was now the one standing with his mouth agape at me.

He stepped back from our hug and smiled. I watched Jacob's eyes rove up and down my body, examining my hair and outfit. He licked his lips and there seemed to be a gleam of desire in his eyes before he blinked and seemed to pull himself together as he said, "Good morning, Nessie. You look beautiful."

I could feel my cheeks glow from excitement: Jacob had noticed my outfit. I lowered my head a little to cover up my embarrassment. My voice faltered a bit, but I was able to huskily say, "Thank you, Jacob. You look very nice, as well."

Jacob grabbed a hold of my chin and lifted it up to look into my face. He caressed my cheek and lip with his thumb. He seemed to be in deep thought about something before he broke out of the spell and asked, "Are you ready?"

Flustered by his touch I mumbled, "Just about – I just need a jacket."

Jacob replied, "Grab something warm." I opened the closet door, scanning through my jackets before choosing my ivory trench.

As I removed my coat from the closet, Jacob walked up behind me to assist me with putting it on. Tingles shot across my skin as his hands touched mine briefly to help slide my arms into the sleeves of the coat. I could feel the adrenaline in my body pick up at just the mere touch of our hands. I can't imagine what it will be like when we are finally touching bare skin to bare skin. Regretfully I averted the attention away from the electric current running through the both of us and asked, "So what are we doing today?" I asked as I bit my lip.

Jacob looked down at me, wearing a huge grin. His eyes twinkled as he stated, "You need to be patient Nessie. You always have to know everything, but you are just going to have to wait and enjoy what this day brings us because it's a surprise."

I looked at Jacob, wearing one of my signature pouts that I use when I really want or need something. I could see he was not going to budge today so I chided him, "I thought I was supposed to surprise you on your birthday not the other way around." I kind of grimaced at the words that came out of my mouth. I must have really sounded like a kid. _God, I need to learn to put that filter between my brain and mouth._

Jacob didn't seem to give my words a second's notice and instead easily chimed back, "Well, since it is _my_ day, you have to do what I want and I want you to just go with the flow." As Jacob spoke those words I could feel myself getting exited. I could tell my panties were going to be pretty moist by the end of the day. The tone of his voice was so domineering. It seemed to ricochet to the very core of my being. _Don't get me wrong, I am a dominant person, but I wouldn't mind allowing Jacob domineer me. My memory was so clear, as if it were yesterday when I had watched those videos of Jacob, Bella, and Edward. I had memorized every sex scene in those videos. Some of my daydreams were even of me __being the dominate one. One of my favorite fantasies is blindfolding the both of us so we can explore each others' body using touch and smell. Ever since I saw how____powerful and in control he was on that video I knew I wanted to experience both types of positions: dominate and submissive._

Thankfully, Jacob didn't seem to notice my momentary daydreaming. I could feel my heart racing and my face was flushing with heat. I blinked away my thoughts, smiled, and said. "I think I can handle that."

He chuckled at my statement and we left the house. He opened the passenger door to his car for me and I gracefully slid into my seat. Part of my coat was still hanging out of the car so Jacob leaned down to maneuver my coat into that car before closing the door. As he leaned down I could feel his warm breath caress my neck, his lips near my face, close enough for me to lean in and kiss him, but I missed the opportunity. As quickly as my mind registered that I wanted to kiss him, he had already closed the door and went around to his side to drive us to church.

We attended Mass; the homily (AN: Catholic term for sermon) seemed to me to be out a standard book. I found myself wondering if Father Rheinhardt had a book called _Homilies for Mundane Days_, his homily lacked any inspiration or personality. It was about trusting God to know what was best and surrendering our desires to embrace our paths. When church let out, Jacob stood up, took my hand and gently kissed it. Unlike me, he seemed to be moved by the homily. I, on the other hand, could not concentrate because I was too excited about what Jacob could have possibly planned for us to do for the remainder of the day.

We walked out of church holding hands. Jacob was oddly silent as we walked to the car. Normally, he would talk to me about the homily to ensure I understood it and to find out my perspectives on it. As I was racking my brain to figure out why Jacob was silent this morning, I found myself seated back in Jacob's car and half way down the road. I watched the scenery fly by. Before I knew it, Jacob had driven to the harbor.

I was so excited; Jacob brought me to the Grand Central Baking Company. I had been wanting to come here for some time, but never had the time when I was near the harbor. It is famous for its incredible artisan bread, buttery pastries, tasty handmade soups and delicious sandwiches. I was famished. My stomach was grumbling when the hostess handed us menus and directed us to a table near a window. She told us to just place our order at the counter when we were ready.

We looked over the delectable breakfast menu. I told him what I wanted and waited at the table looking out toward the water. He came back a few minutes later with a small paper bag and a tray loaded with food. I was had a fried egg and toast and he ate two bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches. He had also grabbed a cup of tea for me and a coffee for himself.

I really couldn't taste my food because I was getting anxious to find out what Jacob had in store for us today. Every couple of bites I would look up to see Jacob's face for some sign, some clue of what he had planned. Finally accepting defeat that he was not going to divulge anything to me I finally spoke up, "Thank you, Jake; this tastes really good."

He looked up from taking a bite of his sandwich to reply, "You're welcome, Ness."

Jacob had just finished his last bite of food when I decided to stand up to clear away our mess. That is when I noticed the brown paper bag. I looked over to Jacob, bit my lip, and asked, "What's in the bag?"

"Another surprise," he replied nonchalantly.

"Okay." I was dying to know what was with all the mystery today and why Jake had brought us all the way down to the harbor for breakfast, but I knew he wanted me to go with the flow. So I just smiled, ate, and chatted about other things.

Jacob walked me back to the car and popped the trunk. I looked up with questions beaming from my eyes, but all he said to me was to take off my coat and place it in the car. Jacob proceeded to remove his as well before we headed off to our next location: the Seattle Aquarium. I had been meaning to visit it for years, but I just never found the right time. I smiled at him as he paid for our tickets and said, "I thought today was about you not me?"

"What?" He shrugged playfully and gave me one of his sexy smiles. "I like the ocean too, and if I can't be back home at La Push then I might as well see what Seattle has to offer."

I clipped back at him with a laugh, "Yes, but I'm the child of the sea and I've been meaning to come here forever and just never got around to it."

"I know." He smiled down at me with a heartbreaking grin and a shiver ran down my spine. "I thought it would be perfect for our first date, given how much we both love the ocean and it's inhabitants."

I was reveling in my thoughts of how much effort Jacob put into this day and how we had do much in common. He was always genuinely interested in what I liked. _I am so lucky. _"Thank you. You know me so well."

"I do." He chuckled.

We hung out at the Aquarium for several hours looking at the sea plants and animals housed in various exhibits. At around 2pm let me know we had somewhere else to be soon so we needed to head out. When we left the aquarium the wind had picked up substantially and I was shivering in the drizzle. He pulled off his sweater, pulled it over my head tenderly, and said, "We'll get your coat in just a minute, you'll probably want to leave that on since the wind picked up."

"What about you?"

"I'll have my coat on in just a minute. I'll be fine until then." He looked at me as we walked. "Did you bring any hair ties or scrunchies in your purse?"

"No... why?"

"Hmmm... I'll figure something out." I was thoroughly perplexed now, but we were already back at the car and he was helping me get into my coat which was much tighter with his bulky sweater under it. He pulled on his jacket and looked in the glove box and center console. "Got one!" He exclaimed cheerfully and pulled out a scrunchy I had left in his car a couple years earlier. He grabbed the small brown paper bag from the bakery too. Then he took my hand and we headed toward the water.

We got to the dock and he led us to an Argosy Cruises Harbor Cruise boat. "This is why you'll need the scrunchy... your hair will get whipped around everywhere with the wind speed over the water and I want to make sure it doesn't get in the way of your enjoyment." He handed me the scrunchy and led us to the boat while I pulled my hair into a messy bun.

"Thanks, Jake it is very thoughtful to consider my hair."

"I try." He smiled and handed the attendant our tickets. We walked onto the boat and Jake led me to a spot at the port side of the bow. "If it gets too cold out here for you let me know and we can go below decks and still see – I just thought feeling and smelling the sea spray would be nice for both of us."

"It's perfect, Jake."

"Good." He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and held me close to him. I felt so safe encircled in his strong arms. "How would you like a small snack to hold you over until dinner?"

"I'd love one. You really planned this out perfectly didn't you?" He opened the bag and handed me a pastry. Then he took one for himself too. I bit into mine. The flaky buttery pastry and semi-hard chocolate of the chocolate croissant melted in mouth. "Oh. My. God. Jake – you got these at the bakery? You know they are my favorite and so hard to find!"

He chuckled, "I knew I had to get some again when I saw them at the bakery. I love 'em too ever since you introduced me to them at the Atlanta Airport." I know he was being careful not to mention when the trip happened. We rarely spoke about the time surrounding Mom and Dad's deaths. He was always trying to be sensitive to my feelings.

"You know I'm okay talking about that time, right?"

"I know. It's just I remember what it was like when people would accidentally remind me of my mom's death and funeral when I wasn't ready for it. I'm all right with it now. You helped me heal from that. Now I'm not even phased to hear reminders or talk about her because you needed me to talk about it so you could have someone to talk about your own feelings with."

"Yeah well you helped me heal too," I said slowly, "by opening your heart up and letting me hear about your mom it made it okay for me to grieve for my mom and dad. You were my safe harbor. You still _are_ my safe harbor. I never have to be afraid with you because I know you'll always take care of me."

"Always, Babe."

The boat started moving away from the dock. I relaxed into his arms and just let my senses take over. I could feel the cool light mist on my face. The smell of the sea air and salt mingled with Jacob's masculine scent of balsam and mint was so comforting and relaxing to me. The views of the harbor and the sound (AN: Puget Sound) were beautiful grays and blues even though visibility was limited by the weather. The feel of the waves crashing, swaying the boat reminded me of my childhood fishing trips with Dad. I could hear the waves sloshing, the rumble of the motor, the murmurs of the other passengers, and beneath all of it I could hear Jacob's steady breathing and heartbeat since my head was against his chest. I was more relaxed than I had been in ages and just happy to enjoy the hour cruise with my Jacob, my love, my safe harbor.

As the boat pulled back into the harbor I noticed Jake tense a bit. "Ness," he whispered in my ear, his hot breath ghosting across my cheek.

"Hmmm..." I sighed happily.

"May I please kiss you?"

I spun in his arms and smiled up at him. "Of course." He slowly moved his lips to mine and kissed me softly and I could feel all his love, care, and desire in that kiss.

"I love you..." I said softly without even realizing the words had passed my lips.

I was about to kick myself for letting those words slip from my mouth. Then he hugged me tighter and said, "I love you too, Nessie." He kissed me softly until I was breathless from the emotions flowing through me and pulled away. He smiled at me and said, "We're back now... how about we move onto the next activity?"

"There's more?" I asked, surprised. "This day has been so incredible. How could it possibly get any better?"

"You'll see," he chuckled. He pulled out his phone and text messaged someone while we walked. When we got back to the car he asked, "Ness, do you trust me?"

"Implicitly." I said without any hesitation.

"Okay, then can I please have your purse?" It was an odd request, but I did trust him, so I handed him my small clutch. He popped the trunk and put it in there. He came back to my side and opened my door. "Take a seat sweetheart." I did. "I want to blindfold you for our next stop, is that okay?" I nodded my head. "Okay, you'll be blindfolded for about 45 minutes barring any strange traffic. You can take a nap if you want – I'll let you know when you can take it off. Do you need to take your coat off or anything first?"

I nodded and started unbuttoning my coat. I didn't want to be too hot with both his sweater and my coat on. He helped me out of my coat and tossed it into the back seat. He closed the door and came around to his seat then he took a blindfold out of his pocket and handed it to me to put on. I did and he turned on some music. I laid back my head and fell asleep.

"Nessie," I heard Jake say as he squeezed my hand gently, "you can wake up and take off the blindfold now."

I removed the blindfold and opened my eyes. We were parked in a place I didn't recognize. There were several shops on the street. We were in front of a bakery called Belle Pastry.

"My mom had a rule about birthdays and Dad always made sure we honored it, so I am hoping you can help me out with that," Jake began. "She always said it was bad luck to make your own cake or light your own candles, and since today has been a complete surprise I couldn't exactly ask you to make me a cake for tonight. It just would have been weird. So that is why we are here in front of the bakery. This part gets to be a surprise for me. I want you to take my wallet and pick out any cake you want to get for my birthday. I don't care what it costs. There is plenty of cash in my wallet to cover any cake your heart desires. I'll be waiting here for you. Take your time."

"Can't I pay for it, Jake, as my gift to you?"

"Nope – you already gave me a better gift." I looked at him with a question in my eyes. "I'll explain later," he said, giving me a kiss and I got out of the car.

The bakery had dozens of flavors and designs of elaborate cakes. After ten minutes of looking I finally picked one a simple 7" square chocolate mousse cake with a dark chocolate glaze made with a hint of orange liqueur. I paid using Jake's cash. The cashier boxed it in a plain white box and tied it with plain red and white string.

I walked back to the car and carefully set the cake in the back seat. When I got in Jake handed me my purse and said, "I know you so that is why I asked for your purse. I didn't want you to pay for it and I know you would have. Thank you for trusting me." I handed back his wallet.

"Your welcome." We drove away and I began to recognize landmarks. We were headed toward Jacob's house.

We arrived at the house and Jake grabbed the cake and opened the doors for me. I took the cake from him and put it to the fridge when we got to the kitchen.

"So Nessie, you have gone with the flow all day and I know that must have been really tough for you since you like to know everything that is on the agenda for the day. That simple act is what I consider to be your gift to me," he explained. "I told you not to get me a gift and I'm glad you didn't because that trust meant far more than any material thing you could have given me. Had you refused to give me your purse earlier I would have let you buy the cake as your gift to me, but I hoped you would trust me and let me lead. Thank you so much for that. I know handing over your purse with your cell phone inside it must have been even tougher for you because of your previous dating history. You proved today that you do trust me to lead and that you aren't living in the past and dwelling on those negative experiences. Thank you and I love you."

"I love you too, Jake."

"So...since you have been so trusting today shall I tell you the agenda for the rest of the night?"

"Yes," I answered immediately, "I'd really like to know."

"Well I asked Quil and Embry to stay out until at least 10pm so we have five hours to ourselves tonight." I smiled. "I thought we could cook together, I have several meal options depending on what you feel like. I also have some movies for later. There is one more thing we could do, but I want you to just wait until I finish talking before you jump to any conclusions. Can you do that?" I nodded.

"Okay, this is kind of awkward, but I may as well just tell you everything now and then there won't be any confusion later. The reason I wanted to blindfold you was so I could stop at your house and pick up some things from Bella. This is totally optional and at your choice. Don't feel any pressure." I was a bit confused now. "I want to be clear. I care about you and respect you deeply, Nessie." I nodded, trying to understand why he was stating the obvious. "In fact, I care too deeply to ever let you do anything you would regret, so I have made a decision that we won't be having sex until you are at least nineteen. I just want to give us both time to get used to this new phase in our relationship."

I frowned a bit. I thought I was old enough to make make my own decisions. I wanted to open my mouth to tell him so, but he didn't let me. Obviously he picked up on my frowning.

"No jumping to conclusions. Just wait until I finish." I nodded for him to continue. "Okay, now that I have said that, it should be clearer to you that I am not offering this for sexual reasons, but rather just so we can spend time together and be comfortable." _What?_ "I asked Bella if she could get together an overnight bag and everything you would need for school tomorrow." _Why?_ "I want you to spend the night with me, if you are okay with that and you understand that there would be no sex. It's up to you – I won't feel bad if you would rather sleep at home. I just figured that since you would be here late there is no reason for you to have to go back into the city and then come back to Bellevue eight hours later." My head was spinning with the idea of sleeping here at Jacob's house. And in Jacob's bed. With my Jacob... "And if you're more comfortable I can always sleep on the couch if you want to get the extra sleep, but aren't comfortable sharing my bed..." He was rambling now.

I reached up, touched his lips and looked into his dark brown eyes. He quieted. "That is an excellent idea Jake. I'm fine with sleeping with you next to me. In fact I sleep better beside you. That's why I always fall asleep when I am laying with you; you calm me. I feel safe with you. Can you please explain why you think I would ever regret doing anything with you, though?"

"Well, Nessie I know this is kind of a heavy conversation for our first date, but I need to take my time with you. You only get one chance to have a first time. I want it to be everything you could ever want it to be and I want to have spent some time getting both of us accustomed to our new relationship. I don't just want to jump in the sack with you in the heat of the moment and then feel like I didn't cherish our time together appropriately. Besides, nine months isn't that long to wait to make us both more comfortable. You don't mind do you? I really just want to take my time with you. You're worth the wait."

I pulled his head toward mine and kissed him. "I don't mind. You are so sweet to me. You're worth the wait too." I kissed him again. "I love you, Jacob Black."

"I love you too, Renesmee Dwyer." He kissed me again, but this time he licked my lips tenderly, begging for entry, which I granted. Then his tongue softly explored my mouth. He pulled away after a few seconds and said, "So back to the plan for the evening, do you have a preference for chicken or beef?"

"Always thinking of food..." I teased. He smiled sheepishly. "Mmm... well I don't want you going in and out to the grill tonight, so how about chicken?"

"Sounds good. I'll get the chicken ready. Do you mind washing some red potatoes for roasting?" Jake turned the oven on to preheat.

"Sure, of course."

I grabbed a bag of potatoes from his pantry and took out eight small ones. I scrubbed them while Jake wiped down the counter top so he could prep the chicken. I grabbed a bowl and a cutting board and started cubing the potatoes. He rinsed three chicken breasts and put them each in gallon storage bags. He then started pounding the chicken with a mallet until they were about one quarter inch thick. When he was done prepping the chicken he walked me through the final prep of the potatoes.

"So, just add some olive oil, tarragon, dried garlic and onion, salt and pepper to the potatoes and mix it all together."

I followed his instructions and asked him to check it. "Like this?"

"Yeah, but add more tarragon that's the secret ingredient. You want at least double the amount you have in there now." I made the alterations and he grabbed a pan. "Grab the Parmesan cheese from the fridge, Ness. I'll toss these in the pan." I got the Parmesan. "Okay, now pour a thick layer of Parm over all the potatoes." I did. "Perfect." He put the pan in the oven. "Now what do you want for veggies tonight, my dear?"

"Hmm... what are the options?"

He opened the fridge and freezer doors. "Well we have fresh asparagus, fresh carrots, ingredients for a Caesar salad, frozen corn, peas, green beans, and winter squash."

"Salad and asparagus sounds divine."

"Okay, hot or cold asparagus?"

"I have a choice?"

"Yeah – if we are going to do cold we need to cook it now and then blanch it. If we want it hot we need to wait until the other food is almost done and then cook it. Either way we'll get the water ready now, so there is no hold up on dinner."

"Yeah but what's the difference in eating it? Besides the obvious."

"Well, cold asparagus is usually served as an appetizer with a light Dijon mustard sauce while hot asparagus is better lightly dressed with lemon and butter and served as a side to the main course."

"Hmmm... then let's do hot since we already have salad as a cold side."

"Okay then, grab the two quart pot and fill it about half full of water and cut a lemon in half." He said while he got a couple pie plates out and grabbed two eggs from the fridge. He broke the eggs into one of the pie plates and started scrambling them with a fork.

After I had filled the pot and cut the lemon I said, "Done, what's next?"

"Take one of those halves and set it aside – we'll use it later. The other half you want to squeeze the juice into the water then toss the rest in to the pot as well. Now toss a bit of salt into the water to increase the boiling point and turn the stove on high." I did as he instructed while he poured Italian breading into the other pie plate. "Do you want me to walk you through how to make the chicken or do you want me to do it while you get the salad ready?"

"The salad will only take a couple of minutes and I'd like to learn how to do the chicken, but you can finish it after you show me."

"Okay, Ness put on an apron and roll up your sleeves, I wouldn't want you to ruin your sweater." I did that while he cut the plastic off the first flattened chicken breast. He grabbed a large frying pan and poured some olive oil in it and turned the heat to medium. He took his shirt off and hung it on a hook by the back door so he was just in his undershirt and pants.

He must have noticed me looking at him. "What? I don't want to ruin my shirt either."

I felt my face flush and he chuckled. "Okay, so we want everything in a close line along the counter so we can minimize the mess." He lined up the chicken, the dish with the eggs, and the bread crumbs next to the stove. "Nessie, come stand in front of me and I'll walk you through the process on the first piece and then I'll handle the rest." I slid between him and the counter. I was tempted to lean back against him, but knew I needed to focus on learning this. He was just so _close _to me. He handed me a fork.

"Now use the fork to grab the first piece of chicken." He held down the plastic while I lifted the chicken. "Set it in the egg mixture and swirl it around until it is thoroughly coated. Alright, now you want to move it to the bread crumbs and coat both sides and then gently set it in the oil." It splashed back a little. "Next time drop it so that you set the bottom in closest to you and you slowly lay the chicken toward the back to minimize spatter, I should have told you before I had you do that. Now we just wait for the chicken to become golden brown and then I'll flip it."

"Where did you learn how to cook, Jake?"

"When Mom died, Billy really only knew how to cook spaghetti with Ragu. Luckily, Mom had taught Becks and Rachel to cook before she died or we would have been hopeless. They knew they weren't going to stick around, so their senior year in high school they taught me to cook so Billy and I wouldn't starve after they left. I was in sixth grade at the time and the next year Bella came to town and she was doing all the cooking for Charlie. Apparently your dad had taught her a few years earlier when she expressed an interest. Your mom apparently had almost as limited a menu as Billy. So Bella and I taught each other what we each knew over time and really developed into a good pair in the kitchen. A few years later we started dating and you know the rest of that."

"But, Bella doesn't cook like this..."

"No, she sticks to the basics mostly and I have picked up a few things since Embry moved in. He trained at Johnson and Wales and cooks at the Fairmont, so he is an excellent cook."

"And here I thought you were just a mechanic." I teased.

"I've got mad skills, Babe. You don't know_ half _the stuff I'm good at," he chuckled.

"I'd like to see more."

"Oh you will, Babe. I promise." My stomach clenched when he called me, 'Babe'. "Right now, though you should get going on the salad so I can pay attention to the chicken. I wouldn't want to burn it because I am distracted by a temptress." He patted my hip gently to encourage me to move.

I looked around dramatically, "Temptress? Where is she? I'll send her away," I joked.

He kissed the back of my neck. I moaned. "You know, I'm not really sure where she went. I was too focused on you." He stepped back. "Seriously though, I don't want to burn the chicken. It takes hours to get the smokey smell out of here."

I giggled and headed to the fridge. I grabbed the Romaine out of crisper and looked for the Parmesan. Then remembered it was still out from the potatoes. I grabbed the Caesar dressing and put everything on the counter. I pulled four leaves of lettuce off and washed them thoroughly, then shredded them into salad bowls. "How much dressing do you want, Jake?"

"About a tablespoon and a half." I poured his dressing into one bowl and I put about a teaspoonful into my bowl and mixed them both vigorously. I topped both with some Parmesan and croutons from the pantry. I put all the ingredients we were finished with away and then wiped down the counters and started putting the dishes into the dishwasher. Jake was cooking the last chicken breast.

"Do you want me to set the table or do anything with the asparagus?"

"No, I have it all under control. Just take a minute and relax. Dinner will be done in about ten minutes."

I used the time to head to the bathroom and fix my hair which was still a bit messy from the boat ride. After I had taken it down and gotten it sufficiently tamed I touched up my lip gloss and checked myself in the mirror. I decided to take off my leggings since we were staying in for the night and my sweater dress was only a bit shorter than my normal school uniform.

I walked into the dining room and the lights were dimmed and the table was set with our meals on it: salads to the side, silverware, white table linens, candles and two glasses at each setting; one was filled with ice water and the other was empty. Jake wasn't in the room. There was soft music playing. He came into the dining room from the kitchen with his shirt back on and buttoned up. He was focused on his hands, which held a wine bottle and a cork screw. He looked up at me.

"Uhhh..." He stammered. He set the wine bottle down on a side table. "Never mind, that. I was going to offer you some wine with our meal since neither of us is driving, but you are just too tempting. I don't think I should impair my inhibitions when you look so gorgeous."

I giggled. "Maybe another time. Let me know ahead of time and I'll wear a baggy sweatshirt and jeans so you aren't so tempted by me."

"I don't think that would help, Babe... I think you'll look amazing no matter what you're wearing. Anyway, do you want some soda or something, before we take our seats?"

"No. Water is perfect."

He stepped to the table and pulled out my chair for me. I sat down and laid my napkin in my lap while he pushed my chair in. He took his seat and we shared our meal in quiet companionship. The food was sinfully divine. I couldn't believe I helped cook it. When dinner was done we cleared the table and Jacob, put the rest of the dishes in the dishwasher and started it while I put twenty four candles on the cake and lit them. I sang him happy birthday and then he blew out the candles. We each had a piece.

I put the rest of the cake back in the fridge and Jacob went out to grab my bag from the car. He brought my bag up to his room and suggested that I go get my clothes ready for the next day and check what Bella packed to make sure everything was all set. I went up stairs and quickly ironed my blouse and skirt for the next morning and hung them in the closet. I set my book bag, undergarments, leggings, socks, and shoes under it and looked at the rest of what she packed for me. She packed me a white silk negligee and a box of Magnum condoms with a note that said, '_Have fun!_' I was livid. Here I am trying to respect Jacob's rules and my sister has to make it so tough. She didn't even give me another option for pajamas.

I walked downstairs and Jake was sitting on the couch. "Ahhh." I stuttered. "Don't ever ask my sister to pack for me again," I said quietly.

"Come here, Ness." I did, and he hugged me and pulled me into his lap. "What did she do?"

"Apparently, she didn't get your memo about not having sex until I was at least nineteen."

"Okay. So what did Bells do that you're so upset about?"

"Let's just say I am going to need to borrow some clothes from you to sleep in."

"Did she not pack you anything for sleeping in?"

"No, she packed me something inappropriate to sleep in and she gave us a box of condoms with a note to have fun."

"Okay, I'll talk to her and tell her not to do that again."

"No, I'll deal with this, Jake. I can tell my own sister to let it go and to stop trying to get either of us laid."

"If that's what you want."

"Yeah it is."

"Okay." He held me tight and pressed play. We watched _The Saint_. It was about 9pm when it was over. "Ness do you want to go up to bed?" Jake asked.

"Sure, but can we talk and cuddle rather than just go to sleep?"

"Of course." He turned out the lights and we headed up stairs.

He grabbed me a t-shirt and pair of sweat shorts. The shirt was longer than my dress and I couldn't get the shorts to stay on. I opened the door and handed Jake his shorts. He had changed into a pair of sweat shorts and had on no shirt. "I can't get them to stay up. Do you want me to put my leggings on or is this fine?"

"That is fine as long as you are comfortable, Ness. Are you okay with me wearing this or should I toss on a wife beater?"

I giggled. "You're fine Jake. I'm perfectly comfortable. Can you call them undershirts though? I never liked that name."

"What 'wife beaters'?" He asked.

"Yeah, I think it is a horrible name for a shirt."

"I suppose you're right, but I've got twenty four years of calling them that. I'll do my best, but I am sure I will mess up sometimes, especially living with Quil and Embry."

"That's fine, I appreciate that you're willing to try."

We laid down on his bed and kissed for a while. At some point we were just holding each other and looking into each others' eyes when he asked, "Do you ever think about the future, Ness?"

"Of course, Jake."

"What do you want for your future?"

"I want to be happy and have a big family and a career."

"How big a family?"

"Isn't this another one of those heavy conversations that might be better for another date?"

"Come on sweetheart, it's not like we have secrets from each other we have known each other for over six years."

"I know... I just don't want to scare you off."

"It would take a lot more than you telling me how big a family you wanted to scare me off. It's not like you want twenty kids or something like that."

I laughed out loud, "_Twenty kids? _That's just insane."

"See, so less than twenty; you won't scare me off."

"Well, I always wished I had more siblings and I was happiest after coming to Forks with the large extended family dynamic; it was like going from being an only child to having two brothers and two sisters even if you all were about the same age. I'd really like to have four to six kids, but would be happy with whatever God blesses me with."

"That sounds great, Ness." He smiled, "Speaking of God, we didn't say our nightly prayers."

"You're right; I can't believe we forgot."

"Well, usually you don't sleep with me, so I am accustomed to a phone call to remind me."

"I just don't want to move and my Rosary is downstairs in my purse."

"Oh – no need to get up... I have a couple within arm's reach."

"Really? Where?"

"Well I have one in my night stand." He reached toward his night stand and grabbed that strand. It was one of the strands Alice had bought the day I found out my Mom was dying. Then he rose up on his hands and knees and hovered over me. "Excuse my reach. I need to get the other set." He pulled a strand that was hanging from the headboard. They were brown plastic crystal with a white plastic crucifix; the kind I made in Sunday School as a little kid.

He held both strands out to me and asked, "Which set do you want?"

I was still a bit stunned he had two sets in his bedroom. "First, tell me why you keep both these in your bedroom. I've seen the ones in the car and I know those were your Mom's."

"Well I keep a set in every room of the house except Quil and Embry's rooms. When I lived with you and Bella I did that too, but I just tried to keep them up high enough that Bells wouldn't notice them. It's the way I honor my mom, keeping her traditions from when I was a kid. There is another set on the back of the door in here that you probably didn't even notice. Anyway these two are special. I keep this strand with me most of the time." He held up the strand Alice had bought in the hospital. "It's rare that it is more than ten feet from me. The day I got these I really felt blessed to be with you and Bella during such a tough time. I know it was a tough time for all of us, but I felt the power of God there with us, I felt like He was helping to carry us all during that time. I got these blessed the day the priest came for last rights and have tried to keep them by my side or in my pocket since then.

"The other strand is special too. I'm surprised you've never noticed them before. I know you haven't been in my bedroom a lot over the years, but you are pretty observant and they can be kind of an eyesore. Bella really didn't want them hanging from our bed when I lived with her, but it was one of the few times I really insisted on something and she caved when I told her how important they were.

"The year before Mom died she taught Sunday school to the youngest group of kids. I was part of that group and I was five or six when I made these. We were preparing for our First Communion and all the kids got to pick their own beads for their Rosaries. I was a boy and I wanted mine to be the same color as my mom's eyes so I chose the dark brown beads and then the lighter brown ones as separator beads. I gave them to my Mom when I was done making them and she took them and put them up on her and Billy's headboard and said that she loved them. When she died. Billy gave them back to me and told me how much she loved them and that if I kept them on my headboard, then Mom would always be watching over me while I slept. They are pretty ugly, but I always felt better having them around."

"They aren't ugly, Jake. They're beautiful and the sentiment behind keeping them is even more beautiful. I'm sure she loved them. Thank you for telling me. I'll use those ones."

We said our prayers and then cuddled up and went to sleep.

In the morning, I woke up around 6am. Jake wasn't in bed, but I could hear the shower running. Jake walked in a few minutes later dressed with wet hair. "Good morning, Nessie." He smiled leaned down and kissed me softly.

"Morning, Jake. Are you always ready for your day when we talk at six?"

"Yeah, actually I woke up a few minutes late this morning. I'm usually all ready and drinking coffee when you call."

"What time do you usually wake up?"

"4:30. This morning I didn't get up until 4:45 because I was so comfortable, also it helped that I knew you wouldn't be calling at 6am sharp since you were in my bed." He chuckled.

"What do you usually do in the morning?"

"Well, usually I get up throw on sweats and run about ten miles, that takes about an hour. If I am having a bad day my speed goes up to twelve miles per hour and I do an extra couple miles to get out my aggression. I always go for an hour though. Then I come back in start the coffee, shower, shave, head downstairs grab a cup of coffee and read the paper while I wait for your call. After we talk I eat breakfast, clean up a bit and head to work."

"You do that everyday?" I asked.

"Just about. The only times I break from routine are occasionally if I was out late the night before I will wait until after you call to run, but that only ever happens on Friday nights, because Sundays I need to be at your house before 8am and week days I need to open the shop for 8am. Running is my time to clear my head and plan my day."

"Well let's do our prayers and then we can get you back on schedule."

"Sure, sure. I grabbed your beads for you this morning on my way up." He handed me my Rosary. We said our prayers then he said he would make breakfast while I got ready. I showered, dressed, and did my hair and makeup. He had omelets on the table and tea for me and coffee for him and juice for us both.

"I'm going to take you to school a bit early today so I can get the shop opened on time. What time should I pick you up?"

"Morning! Jake. Something smells awesome," Quil said as he stepped into the kitchen. "Oh, shit. I didn't realize Ness was still here, man." He tried to cover himself up since he was only in his boxers.

"Go put some more clothes on and you can have an omelet too." Jake ordered. "I made you one – it's on the counter."

"Thanks. I'll be right back. Sorry," he apologized said as he darted back out of the kitchen.

"You better hurry, man, your breakfast is getting cold and I expect you at work at 8am." Jake hollered after him.

"Well I don't have track practice today, because some of the girls didn't dress right on Friday for the meet and so the whole team got suspended from practice for a week. I can kill a few hours if you need to stay at work until five, but I'll be ready by three. I need to get in two hours of practice on the treadmill at home since we aren't allowed to run on campus during our team suspension."

"I'll have Rose close the shop today. I'll be there at three, then. How did the girls violate the dress code?"

"They wore their away uniforms instead of their home meet uniforms. The rules say the team must all dress identically when wearing uniforms during the school day."

"So... all of you are being punished, because a few couldn't wear the right clothes?"

"We are a team. We are all responsible for ourselves and each other. We are punished and rewarded as a team. There are no individual winners and losers – we either all behave appropriately or we all have to suffer. It is community punishment and we all help keep each other in line." Quil walked in and grabbed his breakfast. "Do you cook for Embry too?"

"Nah, he keeps totally different hours and he is more than capable of making his own meals unlike this one." Jake answered.

"Hey man, I can cook you just know I work better after a good breakfast. You only feed me to increase shop production." Quil retorted. I laughed.

"Yeah , I suppose you are right. By the way, I'm leaving the shop at 2:45 so you'll have to cover for me this afternoon."

"That's cool," Quil said as he stuffed his face.

"You're on your own for lunch, man," Jake said as he headed to the fridge, "Ness, do you need me to pack you anything for lunch?"

"No, I'll get something at school." He fixed himself a couple of sandwiches and packed them in an insulated lunch bag. He tossed in a couple of bottles of water and a banana too.

I grabbed my stuff and we headed out. On the drive he asked, "Do you want me to pack up your stuff before I come get you? Or do you want to stop back here on the way home and grab it?"

I thought of the things in my bag, mainly the lingerie and the condoms and blushed. "No, I think I'll grab it all after school."

"You know I don't care about the stuff Bella packed, right?" It was like he could read my mind.

"I know, it's just I'd be more comfortable packing it myself."

"Okay, whatever makes you comfortable. But, nothing could embarrass me after all you've seen me naked." I flushed even redder thinking about the DVDs I found two years earlier. "Jeez, I didn't mean to embarrass you more."

"No, it's fine Jake. We just don't talk much about that incident and I still feel bad."

"Don't feel bad. It's something we need to talk about and deal with soon, but probably not on the way to school with only 5 minutes of time to talk about it. Do you want to talk more about it this afternoon?"

I groaned. "I thought we were done talking about all that."

"We're dating now, Ness. We need to talk about it because our relationship has changed. When we talked before about it we were just friends and you had a crush. Things have changed since then. We need to talk about all that stuff just between the two of us. We need to understand each others' feelings from a romantic romantic point of view and not an 'awkward friends' perspective. I'd rather talk about it sooner than later, but if you aren't ready to talk about it yet I can wait until you are. Don't get me wrong though we_ will _talk about this." He pulled up to the school.

"Today is fine... we'll talk after school." I gave him a chaste goodbye kiss and got out of the car. "I love you."

"Love you, too. Ness, I'll see you at three."

**Coming up:**

"Alright, I'm sorry for ruining your day, by bringing this up and then not dealing with it this morning. I should have just shown up late and handled it this morning since you were so clearly upset. I'm sorry I was so forceful this morning when I told you we would be talking about it." He placed his finger under my chin to lift my gaze up to his before he continued.

"Let me be clear, Babe; you've already been punished and forgiven by all of us for what you did. You have no reason to feel guilty. I'm not having this discussion to rehash any of that, but rather to clarify the limits of our relationship at this time. I want us to be able to be totally honest with each other about everything and for the last eighteen months we've been avoiding the six hundred pound pink elephant in the room, by not discussing this. It was okay not to talk about it when we were just friends, but now we have to talk about it or we will have a wall between us."

I bit my lip nervously. I didn't want anything to come between Jake and me.

"If you didn't know about that side of my life I would have eventually talked to you about it as something in my past, but you do know about it so we need to talk sooner. We have to talk about our pasts before we can be really serious. I know this is early to talk about things like this, but we aren't your average couple. Fuck, girl, we admitted to each other we were in love yesterday. That isn't something your average couple would be okay with. Don't you see? _Nothing_ you can say or do would drive me away from you? I love you, Nessie. I always will. I'm sorry I upset you... Are you okay?"


	7. Sex Ed 101

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes _RARE_ Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship. **

**Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s or BDSM lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual. **

At this point the content won't have many lemons, but we start to get some lemonade in a few chapters and a lot more after that. When I start doing Jake & Ness lemons I'll try for an average of one good one per chapter – some may have none others may have two.

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS!**

Special thanks to my first beta** i'mnotbambi: **for giving this chapter a great name and for being my amazing grammar fanatic and for adding little details here and there especially when I get bogged down in straight dialog and to my second beta** Sonja Cullen:** for helping me develop Nessie's excited thoughts and differences between her POV and JPOV as well as some serious sex appeal. :D

You are both awesome. 3

_**EXTREMELY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ: This chapter includes a heavy discussion of BDSM practices. I have put ~*~*~ around the content, but it is probably over half the chapter and it is intermixed with explanations of the Bella-Edward-Jake dynamic. I think it is important, but can understand why people would want some warning or may want to skip it all together.**_

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while.**

SEX ED 101

Monday, January 6, 2014

JPOV

I went through my day dreading the conversation that I knew we were going to have. It was just so embarrassing to go back to that time. He picked me up at three in the afternoon. I thought he would start talking when I got in the car, but he just said hello and then nothing else. Finally after a couple minutes of silence I felt like I was losing my mind.

"Ummm... Jake, I thought we were going to talk after school."

"We are. I just want to be able to look you in the eye during this conversation so I thought it should wait until we were at my house and I could focus my full attention on you rather than the road."

"Oh, okay... ummm... will Embry be there?"

"No, God – I wouldn't do that to you Ness. He's at work from noon to midnight. Are you okay, Babe?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You're shaking like a leaf." I looked down at my hands and I was trembling.

"Oh, I guess I'm a little nervous."

"A little? We don't have to talk about this today," he said as he pulled into his parking space. He got out of the car, walked over to me, and squatted down by my side. "Nessie, come here." I unbuckled my belt and turned to face him. He took my hands in his and put his forehead against mine. "We'll talk about this another day, I need you to calm down and relax right now. There is nothing to be nervous about. It's just me and you, Babe." He pulled me into a tight hug and I began to relax.

"Jake," I said hesitantly, "I need to deal with this now. The longer I put this off the worse I am going to feel about it."

"Okay, Babe. Whatever you need. How about we go in and get you a bit more calmed down before we talk?" I nodded. He pulled me up and we walked into the house. He kept his arm wrapped around my shoulder the whole time. "Do you want to pray? I know it usually helps you relax." I nodded again. He sat down on the couch and pulled me into his lap. He took out his Rosary from his pocket and fished mine out of my purse. The act of saying the words and the security of being in his arms while I repeated the Hail Mary 53 times with him helped calm my mind and nerves. By the end of the Rosary I was sobbing quietly, but he kept saying the words with me and holding me while I let my emotions out. He seemed to understand that I needed to get this out and that I just needed to be held. "Do you want me to say it again with you, Nessie?" I shook my head.

"No," I said softly. He held me and rubbed my back. I cried for a few more minutes and then started to relax and breath deeply.

After a few more minutes Jake said, "Normally this is the sort of conversation I would have in a 'toe to toe' fashion, but I don't think you could handle that right now. You just need me to hold you right now, don't you?"

"Yeah..." I said softly.

"Whenever you're ready, let me know. I'll keep holding you. I love you."

"Okay... I just need a few more minutes."

When I felt sufficiently calm and collected I said, "I'm ready now."

"Okay, can you tell me why you were so upset?"

"I just feel so guilty about what I did and I had all day to think about this conversation, so I let my imagination go wild... I was imagining you getting upset with me and breaking up with me. And then you only said 'Hello' when I got in the car and I thought you were even more upset with me and I just got anxious."

"Alright, I'm sorry for ruining your day, by bringing this up and then not dealing with it this morning. I should have just shown up late and handled it this morning since you were so clearly upset. I'm sorry I was so forceful this morning when I told you we would be talking about it." He places his finger under my chin to lift my gaze up to his before he continued.

"Let me be clear, Babe; you've already been punished and forgiven by all of us for what you did. You have no reason to feel guilty. I'm not having this discussion to rehash any of that, but rather to clarify the limits of our relationship at this time. I want us to be able to be totally honest with each other about everything and for the last eighteen months we've been avoiding the six hundred pound pink elephant in the room, by not discussing this. It was okay not to talk about it when we were just friends, but now we have to talk about it or we will have a wall between us."

I bit my lip nervously. I didn't want anything too come between Jake and me.

"If you didn't know about that side of my life I would have eventually talked to you about it as something in my past, but you do know about it so we need to talk sooner. We have to talk about our pasts before we can be really serious. I know this is early to talk about things like this, but we aren't your average couple. Fuck, girl, we admitted to each other we were in love yesterday. That isn't something your average couple would be okay with. Don't you see? _Nothing _you can say or do would drive me away from you? I love you you Nessie. I always will. I'm sorry I upset you... are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. I love you too, Jake. Sorry for getting so upset."

"Don't ever apologize for being honest about your feelings with me." Jake said softly. "I value your honesty and your ability to be vulnerable with me. It is okay to get upset. I just need you to calm down and relax before we try to talk about things. I need to give you what you need and if that means I hold you while you cry your eyes out, I am glad to be the person you feel safe doing that with. Do you understand?"

"Yeah. Thank you. So what do we need to talk about specifically and what did you mean by 'toe to toe' earlier?"

"I'll explain 'toe to toe' later; now isn't the time for that." I nodded. "So the normal conversation couples would have would be something like, 'here is a list of the people I have been intimate with would you like to talk about it?', but that isn't going to be us because we both know about each others' relationships. So I will start by saying the only person I have ever had sexual contact with is Bella. But now, I'm committed to you and will be completely monogamous. Do you feel the need to ask any questions about my relationship with Bella?"

"Yeah, why did you two continue to have sex after she was with Edward?"

"First, that was their idea. Bella likes that sort of thing and Edward and I were okay with sharing her because of our relationship. You see Bella and I met Edward before Alice's engagement party."

"Really? You guys didn't seem to know him..."

"He was masked the three times we met him. He was demonstrating at play parties. He told me who he was the night of the engagement party and invited me and Bella to train under him. He is one of the most well respected Doms in the area and we both wanted to learn from him."

"Okay what do you mean by 'train' and what is a 'Dom'?"

"How much have you and Bella talked about submission?"

"A bit she didn't give me many specifics she just explained her feelings and why she willingly submits to Edward."

~*~*~*~HEAVY BDSM EXPLANATIONS~*~*~*~

"A man who dominates a relationship is called a 'Dominant' or a 'Dom' spelled D-O-M. A female who dominates is called a 'Domme' spelled D-O-M-M-E and that is short for Dominatrix. I'm sure you have heard of a Dominatrix at some point; it is kind of interesting that most people have heard of a Dominatrix, but don't know what a Dominant is and there are far more male Doms in the community than females. Anyway, back to the topic... the submissive partner in the interaction is always called a 'sub' or 'submissive' regardless of gender. Some folks like to play both roles and they are called 'switches'; they switch depending on their partner's needs. Sometimes subs will switch for a scene or two every once in a while to keep things exciting; while some subs are totally uncomfortable in the Dom role so they never switch. Every good Dom has trained for a while as a sub in order to become a better Dom, it may be limited to a few scenes or a specified period of time or it may be for an extended time frame. It's all about personal preference.

"Anyway onto your question about training. This type of activity isn't something you read about and then engage in. There is a difference between being someone who likes control and slaps a girls ass every once in a while and someone who learns from a Master how to bring intense pleasure and pain. There are aspects of trust, control, understanding, pain, pleasure, and deprivation that you need to learn from someone who has experienced it all before. Edward is a Master and has trained several Doms and subs within the community. He has been in the community since his freshman year in college and spent a year as a sub or Dom-in-training under a well respected Dominatrix and then became a Dom. He collared two subs before your sister and he has worked with several uncollared subs and Doms-in-training over the years. He always used protection with his trainees and uncollared subs and he required full medical screenings for his collared subs.

"These relationships require extensive negotiations and contracts before any interaction occurs. Some relationships have absolutely no sexual contact – Edward and I, for instance – but for most that is the core component of the relationship. The contracts aren't legally binding and either party can call a stop to the relationship or any interaction at any time by using a safe word."

"Okay, you guys have told me about a safe word before, but what is the point? If the sub can end the interaction by using a safe word then aren't they really in control?" I asked, confused.

"Actually, believe it or not, the sub is usually the person with all the power. Most Doms aren't sadistic bastards who enjoy giving pain or punishment. They may like control, but usually the person experiencing the most emotional pain _is_ the Dom, because he has to administer the punishment and control the situation, then provide aftercare. The guilt that Doms experience is intense and requires a lot of time to work through. Usually, the sub wants pain and gets a release from feeling like their guilt is washed away by the punishment. I think you should talk to Bella about that since she can explain why she likes pain better than I can and she can talk about how hard she had to push me to get me to give her what she wanted. But back to your question... the idea behind a safe word is that the relationship and every interaction should be safe, sane, and consensual above everything else that it may be. Without a safe word, the Dom could let himself go and hurt his sub beyond her emotional or physical tolerance – it's sort of like a seat belt. Just because you trust me to drive you, it doesn't mean that I'm never going to make a mistake and have an accident. You always wear your seat belt or I don't start the car, right?"

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense."

"So anyway, back to why we are talking about this. I'm never going to be able to fully suppress my need to dominate. However, I can live very happily with just having your trust and being in control of things. I don't need to be in a BDSM relationship to be happy. I only need to be trusted and in control. I know it's a bit selfish of me to ask for control, but I'd rather be honest with you and I think you know enough about me to recognize that I won't abuse any control I have. That was why I was so happy about you letting me run the day yesterday. I like being in charge.

"It was one of the reasons my relationship with Bella lasted as long as it did even though we both knew we should have ended it years earlier. She let me take control, but we were missing serious spiritual components of our relationship – we weren't soul mates. We were best friends and we had great sexual chemistry... plus, I didn't want to destroy your sense of normalcy by ending my relationship with your sister since I had become such an important part of your life. I knew the first time Edward joined us for a sexual scene that she was meant to be with him. It wasn't that she didn't trust me or love me – it was just I could see from their connection that they were meant for each other. I was selfish enough to stay with her even after I saw their connection. It was comfortable and we both were getting what we needed from each other, but there came a point when Bella and I could no longer connect spiritually and I loved my friend enough to force us both to recognize it. By that point, she and I hadn't made love in over two years – we had a lot of great sex, but we weren't experiencing the deep passion I needed.

"Bella desperately wanted to be collared. I knew this, but I also knew that we couldn't make love to each other, and she would never be my wife. We were happy and comfortable, but we weren't going anywhere together. We were simply existing together.

"I realize that this is more information than you need and I swear I would never share these sorts of details with anyone else ever, but you are a part of this and you need to understand the dynamics between Bella, Edward, and I. I don't want you to ever feel threatened by your sister or to feel you need to compete with her. You don't. You are not Bella and I know that better than anyone. I love you in a far more profound way than I ever loved Bella. I do still love her, but like a close friend.

"You asked why I still had sex with her. Well the truth is I rejected their offers the first several times. Eventually, though, because I was single and needed sexual release, I told them that if they were okay with it and I was okay with it, I didn't see any harm in accepting the offers. I probably should have said no to the video recording, though; again hind sight is twenty-twenty." He laughed. "But, the truth is we all get off on exhibitionism. Our boundaries were crystal clear and we negotiated before every scene and debriefed after every scene."

"What do you mean by 'scene'? I've heard you mention it several times..."

"A scene is the time where we are in our roles and playing. Bella and my relationship was always limited to short scenes when we played. We never spent more than a night in our roles. Bella and Edward are a bit different. They spend more of their time in their roles, but their scenes are limited to the playroom or the bedroom."

"The playroom?"

"Oh – sorry, I forget what you know and what you don't. You know that room that is always locked at your house?" I nodded. "Well, that is the playroom. You aren't allowed in there for several reasons, the most important being that it is their private sanctuary."

"Do _you_ have a playroom?"

"No," he chuckled. "I'm not that deep into the lifestyle to invest that kind of money into it."

"What is in a playroom?"

"That depends on the Dom. I'll give you a general idea, but I'm not going to tell you what items are in the one in your house. If you want to know you will have to ask Edward."

"Why can't I ask Bella?"

"She isn't allowed in the playroom without Edward's explicit instructions. Only Edward has a key. She won't describe it without his permission either, since it is his space to control."

"Okay, I guess I get that."

"Most playrooms are fully sound proofed, but not always though. Most playrooms have multiple reinforcements in the walls ceiling and floor to attach equipment to. Playrooms may have crosses, adjustable tables, whipping benches, kneeling benches, stocks, restraints of some nature, cabinets filled with various toys and tools, some have sex swings, and some have complicated pulley systems for suspension, inversion, and other forms of restraint and bondage." I was more than a little shocked by the description.

"Why would the room have a cross in it and what is a whipping bench?"

"Not the kind of cross you are thinking of," he chuckled. "A cross is an 'X' that can be adjusted into various positions and one person can be restrained against it. A whipping bench is kind of like a modified doctor's office bed. It can be adjusted for height and tilt. It can be used with or without restraints and it is used for punishment and pleasure, it all depends on the situation. It allows the Dom to position the sub in an appropriate way for the scene."

"It sounds kind of scary..." I said softly, biting my lip nervously.

"Truthfully, some of it is – which is why there are contracts and negotiations." Jake explained. "And like I said earlier – I don't need that lifestyle. I want you to be happy – I just thought I needed to explain it fully to you to erase any of your misconceptions from earlier. Bella seemed to think you were very interested in all of this, so I knew we needed to talk about it."

"I was, but now I am not sure... I still find the _idea_ of it exciting, but I'm not sure if I am ready for it."

"I would like to take at least a year to just explore a normal relationship with you after we are sexually active. I don't want you to feel like I need or want this, or that I will be disappointed in you if you don't want to engage in that lifestyle. I am more than happy to have a vanilla relationship with you."

"Vanilla?"

"There I with the lingo again," he chuckled, "It is what folks in the scene call normal relationships. Honestly, I'd rather have a vanilla relationship with you, mostly because training you would be emotional torture for me, but I'll do whatever you need and want as long as you respect my time lines and my requests."

"Why would it be so hard for you?"

"Because I love you, Ness and I never want to hurt you. In training there is a need for pain and punishment."

"How could you do it with Bella then?"

"Edward did most of her training. I did a very small amount in comparison to what he did and every step of the way he was there to support me in training her. He was always there to stop me if I took something too far or to tell me I had to be harder when I was too soft. It is a very emotional experience. It is one of the ways Edward and I bonded so firmly and why our relationship is what it is. The three of us have total trust in each other. I could call them at anytime day or night and ask for anything and they would do it." He chuckled. "If I ever killed someone they would be the people I called to help conceal the evidence."

"So your training built your trust in both of them?"

"Well yeah. Otherwise there would have been no point. From a psychological perspective BDSM is supposed to build both partners' self esteem and confidence. It is seen by many as a way for sadists to cause pain and masochists to experience pain, but it isn't abuse by any measure at least none of the subs I have met would describe their relationships as abusive. In fact, Bella always wanted more pain and we always had to set the limits because her desired pain level would have caused damage to her system. She had to accept our limits as the sub, but she would use the 'green' safe word to let us know she wanted more. It is a word the sub can call out to let the Dom know they are enjoying the experience and want more, but the sub accepts that the Dom controls the scene. So even if she wants more she knows she might not get it. 'Yellow' is a cautionary word where the sub is essentially saying the Dom is pushing her limits, but he can continue with caution. 'Red' stops the scene cold and the Dom immediately removes all the restraints and takes the subs condition into account to determine the problem. The Dom and sub are immediately in a free time once the safe word is called so the sub has permission to speak freely."

"What – they can't normally speak freely?"

"No. When the sub is in her role she follows the contract rules. Many contracts include speaking restrictions. For example, Bella can only refer to Edward as 'Master' or 'Sir' during the time when she wears his collar and he refers to her as 'Isabella.' Many scenes include a speaking restriction; for example, in some scenes the sub may only be able to answer certain questions and call out the safe words. The speaking restrictions are removed by the Dom during free time, but usually the title restrictions stay in effect as do respect rules. The sub may only ever speak in a respectful manner to the Dom. Bella is free to behave any way she likes when she is not wearing his collar. At parties, Edward doesn't allow her to speak to anyone except to tell them she can't speak to them without his permission. In the times when the three of us have played together, whoever was the Dom at the time controlled the entire interaction and only he could give instructions and all communication went through him."

"So there were times when you were the Dom and you were okay with sharing her with him?"

"Yeah – I think I already said that."

"You did, but I am trying to understand it. How were you okay with that? I would think that you would be jealous of him. Especially when you saw their connection."

"Two things: I knew she was going home with me and more importantly, I knew it was what she wanted. It was the same reason he was okay sharing her with me on occasion. It wasn't something the three of us did a lot. I'm not sure I could ever share you even if you wanted to do that."

"Again, what is so different between me and Bella."

"I feel differently with you. I feel possessive of you in a way I _never_ felt with Bella. I want you to be mine and only mine." I was getting excited about what he was saying and the pure dominance and possession I heard in his voice. "I want what is best for you, but I also want a future with you. I hope to God everyday I can be good enough for you. I'm a bit selfish with you and I always have been. Please remember what I said earlier; you are not your sister."

"You are good enough for me Jacob. I love you."

"I love you too."

"What if I was interested, but I didn't want you to train me, so you wouldn't have to experience the emotional pain?"

"That would be unacceptable for me. That would be a relationship killer for me. I can't trust anyone else with you and your well being. It's me or no one if you want to be trained and still be with me."

"Not even Edward?"

"I could trust Edward, but he would never agree, because he knows how I feel about you and he wouldn't violate my trust by training you against my wishes."

"But I don't want you to be in pain, Jake..."

"I don't want you in pain either. That's why I would rather you choose a vanilla lifestyle with me. Edward and Bella think I'm wrong to push you toward a vanilla relationship; they both think you are going to want this and that I'm foolish if I think I can keep you happy without letting you fully explore this. This is why I knew we needed to have this conversation."

~*~*~*~RETURN TO VANILLA CONTENT~*~*~*~

"You talked to them about this?"

"Yeah – it was one of the things I talked to them about after you went to bed on New Year's."

"Why wasn't I included?"

"It was late and none of us wanted to wake you."

"Do you three often discuss me without me around?"

"Not really. Edward simply offered his support when you decided you wanted to be trained. I told them I would push for a vanilla lifestyle. Bella practically scoffed at me, but was careful about what she said so she wouldn't violate your confidence. Edward told me you were a born sub and I'm only going to create problems by pushing you to stay out of the scene. He also said that given our tendencies we may be a match made in heaven."

"Oh... okay..."

"So, do you have anything you want to talk more about?"

"Not about this. I'll respect your time lines, but I would like to go to some parties. I'm not sure I fully understand all this, but I am more informed now and I'll talk to Bella a bit more. I promise to talk to you about everything and listen to your opinions on this stuff. I will say that I get excited by your dominant side and I'd like to explore that more over time."

"We'll take plenty of time to explore your wants, needs, likes, and dislikes regardless of what type of relationship we have. So now I have basically told you my entire sexual history, as well as the majority of Bella and Edward's. When we become sexually active, I want to get tested with you for everything so we can both be sure we are safe. I trust you and I don't suspect you have anything, but I think you should see my tests, and if I am getting tested I want you to share the experience if you are okay with that."

"That's fine with me, but you're wasting your money. The furthest anyone ever got with me was Nahuel and all he did was grope my breasts."

"I know, but I think it is a good experience for us both. It is one of the things Edward recommends for any relationship before you even consider slipping off the glove." I looked at him perplexed. He chuckled. "I keep forgetting how sheltered you are sometimes. We are talking about our future, monogamy, sexual relationships, even children; I'm ready to make a five year plan with you Ness. So when I say slipping off the glove, what I mean is having sex without a condom, but only if you are okay with that and on something to prevent pregnancy until we are ready for kids."

"I don't know Jake... Bella made me promise to double protect when I started having sex. I've been on the pill for eighteen months, but I wouldn't want to break a promise to my sister."

"Whatever you're comfortable with, and it won't be an issue for sometime anyway. We'll get tested anyway so you can be sure of me."

"I trust you, Jake, I don't need to see test results for that."

"I know you do Babe, but it would make me feel like I am doing right by you. I don't want to ever abuse your trust so I want you to see those results in black and white. Even though I know you don't want to have me do this. It will make me feel better since I do have some experience and it is the right thing to do."

"Okay whatever you want Jake."

"Thank you. I'll ask Edward where we should get tested and I'll set something up." He held me for a while longer then asked, "Do you want to stay for a while longer or do you want me to take you home?"

"I really should get going – I still have to run and I have a fair amount of homework tonight."

"Okay, sweetheart, do you want my help packing up from last night?"

"Yeah – and I'll show you what Bella sent for me to sleep in." I got up off his lap.

"Why the change of heart?" He followed me upstairs.

"I decided you were right; I have nothing to be embarrassed about with you. I have seen you naked, and if you can tell me everything you just did then I can certainly show you a nightgown." I got the nightgown out and held it up.

"Wow, you were right not to wear that and I'm doubly glad I didn't crack into the bottle of wine last night, you might have put that on without a second thought. That is definitely irresistible. Bella knows what I like. Save it for another day." He kissed me. "Thank you for being such a lady about that and not trying to tempt me last night." He kissed me deeply and explored my mouth. "I love you, Nessie."

"I love you too."

"Do you want to leave it here?" He grinned suggestively. "We don't have to wait for everything, just one thing."

"What do you mean?"

"Well once the tests are done we can work our way up to third base to keep us both happy until we can move in for the home run." I had no idea what he was talking about.

"What are you talking about?"

He chuckled, "Let's get you packed up. I'll explain the bases in the car. And just so you know we are at first." I tossed the nightgown on his bed for him to put away when he felt like it and handed him the condoms since I wouldn't have any reason to use them without him. Then we collected my clothes from the day before, packed them up, and headed out.

"So what does baseball have to do with the nightgown?" I asked in the car.

"Nothing, Babe. You've never heard any of your friends mention first or second base? I know you've been sheltered, but I thought even at a Catholic school there would be some talk about the bases."

"I've heard girls mention it. I just never knew what it meant and I didn't want to make myself look like an idiot by asking someone."

"Why didn't you ask Bells?"

"I never thought it was important enough to ask her or any of the other women in my life about it."

"Okay, well long and short of it – there is some difference based on who you talk to on the line between second and third base, but first base is universally agreed upon to be kissing and a home run is sexual intercourse. Oral sex is definitely third base and petting or touching above the waist is definitely second base. Petting and touching below the waist is where there is some discrepancy depending on who you talk to, so Esme would define it as third base because of her age, while Bella would call it second base. The standards change as time passes, but some people have heard their parents definitions and so won't know the most current definition."

"Okay, and what sort of time line are we on for the bases?"

"Always my analytical girl," he chuckled. "We aren't on a time line, we aren't going to home base until you are nineteen and I don't want either of us performing oral sex until you've seen my test results. Let the rest happen naturally... don't push and I won't either. Just be patient and enjoy the exploration process."

"I don't know how to do any of those things," I said shyly.

"I know that, Nessie." He smiled at me. "I know you don't know much about sex other than what you saw in that rather extreme porn you were watching a couple years ago. I also know the parental controls I set on your laptop will prevent you from doing any research. By the way remind me to take the parental controls off since you are an adult now. You should always feel free to talk to Bella, but I would rather you ask me when you have questions about what I want. It is a good idea to talk to Bella and even Alice when you are feeling insecure, or when you don't know how to ask me something, or when you would be more comfortable asking a woman, but I know who you are Nessie. I promise I will never make you feel bad about not knowing something. I might chuckle sometimes about certain things, but that isn't because you have done anything wrong, but rather that I am surprised you don't know something. Usually when I chuckle it is because I find you so adorable, not because I am unhappy that you are sheltered or ignorant about sex. You are like every guys wet dream."

"What's a wet dream?"

He started chuckling again. "This is exactly what I am talking about. It's hard to believe you spend as much time around Emmett as you do when you ask such cute questions. I'm guessing you had no sex education whatsoever at any of the schools you've been to and Bella would have only addressed things you specifically needed to know."

I nodded. "The extent of my sex education up until now was 'sex is a sin. It causes pregnancy and diseases. Don't do it until you are married.' Bella and I talked about it a bit the day I got my period and then the day you guys found out I had the DVDs, and some of the girls at school have told me how great it is and made suggestions about how to dress for you to notice me."

"Just what I figured. Although now I am sure you understand that you never should have asked those girls about how to make me notice you. I've known how you looked for a long time and I would rather you dress modestly and maintain a sense of decency. You are beautiful and you don't need to dress like a tramp to attract attention. The people who notice you because you are dressed that way are the people you don't want to attract."

"I know that now, Jake."

"Okay, so our next sex ed item for the day." He chuckled again. "How to explain a wet dream to you... okay, so let me think of how to explain this. Do you remember in the DVDs or any of the porn you watched any mention of cumming? I know this is awkward, but I can't think of a better way to explain it."

"Yeah, I've heard that several times and then I would see you guys get really relaxed."

"Okay that is called an orgasm and you didn't see the true physical reaction with Edward or I because we were inside of Bella when we said it, but did you hear that in any of the porn and then see the guy shoot liquid out of his dick?"

"Yeah usually the guy would shoot some sort of white stuff onto the girls face or stomach."

"Well that is what guys call cumming or having an orgasm. A girl's reaction is a bit different. Anyway the white stuff is called cum or ejaculate. You can ask Bella to describe the substance, scent, and taste if you are interested. I've never tasted it so I wouldn't want to describe it to you, but it is sticky and gooey kind of like phlegm." He rubbed his hand over his face. "I'm not making this sound very attractive, but I'm sure Bella will explain it to you better than I can. When a guy hits puberty he loses control of himself especially in his sleep. For about the first year of puberty, guys have to change their boxers a lot. We sometimes have such intense sex dreams that we cum in our sleep. It's called a wet dream because we wake up with wet boxers or underwear. Usually guys have it totally under control by the time they hit their late teens, but I've heard of guys still occasionally having such intense fantasies that they cum in their sleep even in adulthood. So when I said you were like every guys' wet dream it means that you are the kind of girl guys fantasize about being with."

"Why would anyone swallow that?"

"You would pick up on the part I had the most trouble explaining. Bella is going to be so pissed at me when you come to her with all these questions."

"You said I should ask her."

"And you should – she just isn't as comfortable talking about all this stuff as I am and she is going to be pissed you got such an extensive education today that she will have to supplement." He laughed again and shook his head. "Well, maybe the best way to explain why people swallow is that it is an act of love and submission. I know that seems like a weird answer, but I am pretty sure Bella will tell you that she actually likes swallowing even though it doesn't always taste good. It is also really hot from the man's perspective to watch a girl swallow his cum. I am sure if you were asked to explain what your cum looked and tasted like it wouldn't sound very attractive either, but I guarantee that if you asked me or Edward to describe a girl's cum it would sound like the most amazing substance on the planet and you would understand why we enjoy tasting it so much."

"Could you describe it?"

"God, girl – you are going to get me in trouble today! Not while we're driving – not today, and not unless your ready to get wet and frustrated and I have time to get myself and possibly you off afterward. We're almost home anyway. I think I will probably stay for dinner since I am going to have to let Edward and Bella know about how much of their relationship I explained to you. They gave me permission, but I owe it to them to tell them how far our conversation went. You have to work out and do homework, which will give me plenty of time to talk to them. Okay?"

"Yeah, but if you guys start talking about me and my plans you better include me this time," I warned.

"Sure, sure, Ness."

C**OMING UP: **

**JPOV**

**"It is, but I fully anticipate clean results on both," I said.**

**"Alright I'll try toe to toe." I smiled widely at her willingness.**

**"Join me in the kitchen. I'll set up the chairs." I set up the two chairs about eighteen inches apart and had her sit. I took the other seat. We each took our envelope and handed it to each other. She had a second envelope in her hand, but I figured she would tell me when she was ready. I looked her in the eyes and said, "You first, open my results."**

**"Why don't you go first or open them at the same time?"**

**"Because I said so, and I'm the only one with any experience if I have something to answer for I want to know now."**

**She opened the envelope and took five minutes to read every page. On the last page her face fell. "Jake, I'm so sorry…" she lifted her hand to her mouth. _Jesus_. What did I have?**

**"What, Ness?" I grabbed the results.**

_Read and Review: Reviewers get the next few pieces of dialog from this 'coming up' and an additional preview from later in the chapter. Thanks, -K_


	8. Test Results

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes _RARE_ Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship. **

**Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s or BDSM lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual. **

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS! Also I update faster with reviews this Chapter was held off by a day because of the major revisions I had to make to all my chapters when I aged Nessie by a year.**

Special thanks to my two betas** i'mnotbambi **and** Sonja Cullen** - You are both awesome. This story is better because of your help.

Warning: This chapter contains** underage drinking **and Jacob violates the law by **furnishing alcohol** to Nessie; she is 18. However, furnishing alcohol to people under 21 is illegal and can result in criminal charges in the US. Aside from the mind of the author, the reasoning for this has to do with a struggle between federal and state powers and the Federal government withholds highway funds from any state in which it is legal for people over 18 and under 21 to drink.

**Light citrus fruit in this chapter as well.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while.**

Chapter 8: Test Results

JPOV

Friday, January 31, 2014

Nessie and I went on several more dates, but each time I managed to keep our relationship from progressing beyond first base. But I can honestly say that there were times that Little Jake tried to take over my reasoning and influence me to do otherwise. My heart won out though and I took my time with Nessie; I only had one chance to do it right.

A few weeks after I spoke to Nessie about getting tested, I finally got an appointment scheduled for the both of us to get tested. I knew she was being honest with me about her experience and therefore was clean, but I really felt it was the right thing to do. My main concern was protecting her. I wanted her to know I was clean too. It might be a bit controlling for me to ask her to get the test done with me, but I wanted her to make it a habit, just in case our relationship didn't work out and I knew that if I insisted with her she would insist with her future partners.

_God – I hope she only ever wants me, but I love her enough to teach her good habits._

We got our results in the mail today, and she is on her way over to talk and exchange envelopes. I was a bit apprehensive about how I was going to speak to Nessie tonight about the results and how essential it was to always have this type of testing done before entering into a sexual relationship.

Nessie was driving over to my place this evening to have dinner, exchange envelopes, talk about the results, hopefully watch a movie and cuddle a little before we spend the night together. I must admit that for the first time in my relationship with Nessie, that I was a little nervous about having her sleepover. Our relationship has changed over the course of six years from brotherly to friends to romantic. Regardless of what role I have with her, I will always be nearby to protect her, to keep her safe.

One of the things I am glad that we have have always maintained in our relationship is the need for prayer. In fact, we had prayed over the phone earlier while we had both been running errands.

I knew that our conversation about my experience in BDSM had gone a lot further than either of us had planned. Edward was only upset that I told Nessie he had a playroom. I wasn't terribly concerned since it's not like she wouldn't have figured it out eventually anyway.

Bella was okay with whatever questions Nessie had and she laughed her ass off when I told her about trying to explain a wet dream and male cum. She said that she would have to do damage control after she heard my description of cum or Nessie would never want to swallow. I told Bella I could care less if Nessie ever went down on me or not – our relationship would be entirely based on what Nessie wanted. If Nessie never wanted to give me a blow job, I would be okay with that. Bella laughed and called me a liar and then joined Nessie in the work out room.

Edward and I made dinner and he told me that some discussions should be just between women. Bella said she mitigated all the damage I had done in my explanations and told me that next time I wanted to describe something I had never been on the receiving end of I should call her and have her explain over the phone. She said it would be easier than trying to undo my poor explanations.

I honestly had thought Bella would be more uptight about talking about this stuff with Nessie, but Edward said she was doing her best to talk about sex openly at least between the four of us. It's not like Bells is ever going to be comfortable chatting about sex with a stranger, but she is getting better at it with us. Edward also said he added sex talk to her training so talking with Nessie about sex was actually making it easier for her to talk about sex in other areas of her life. She is sassier than she was before she met Edward. I'm glad to see her so happy.

After completing my errands, I picked up take out for dinner for Ness and me to share this evening: seafood chowder and crusty bread. All I needed to do was slice up the bread and nuke the chowder when she arrived. When we spoke earlier on the phone she told me she was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. I told her that was perfect for tonight's activities.

We had agreed that tonight, among other things, I was going to introduce Nessie to alcohol for the first time outside of church. I had white wine and the fixings for margaritas. I knew that neither of us would be driving since we both lost parents to drunk driving, but I thought she would like to try drinking in a safe environment before heading off to college.

Nessie knocked on the door and I answered it. Even in jeans and a sweatshirt she looks like a goddess. _How did I get so lucky? _ I kissed her and swept her into the house. As I took her hand to walk her into the house, I looked in her beautiful brown eyes and said, "You look beautiful."

"Thank you Jake," she giggled. Her giggle sounded so sexy. I quickly changed the subject to avert where my thoughts were heading. I decided to discuss the medical result we received by using the Black family tradition for having a discussion.

I took a deep breath before I said, "So we have our results... since today is not really a tense situation, I'd like to introduce you to a Black family tradition called 'toe to toe'. Are you willing to try this with me, Nessie?"

Nessie looked a little apprehensive. "Please tell me what it is and then I will decide whether to agree or not to try toe to toe."

"It was the way my folks always had serious discussions or arguments. It forces you to look the other person in the eye and resolve your issues. I think today would be a good day to try it with you rather than a day when we have a serious issue."

"This isn't serious, then," she teased.

"It is, but I fully anticipate clean results on both."

"Alright I'll try toe to toe." I smiled widely at her willingness.

"Join me in the kitchen. I'll set up the chairs." I set up two chairs about eighteen inches apart and had her sit. I took the other seat. We each took our envelope and handed it to each other. She had a second envelope in her hand, but I figured she would tell me what it was when she was ready. I looked her in the eyes and said, "You first, open my results."

"Why don't you go first... or let's open them at the same time?"

"Because I'm the only one with any experience and if I have something to answer for I want to know now."

She opened the envelope and took five minutes to read every page. On the last page her face fell. "Jake, I'm so sorry..." She lifted her hand to her mouth. _Jesus_. What did I have?

"What Ness?" I grabbed the results.

"You're stuck with me for good – you're totally clean!" She laughed and hugged me.

"Oh that was bad, Nessie."

"You totally fell for it!"

"Okay, I did." I chuckled.

"Are you going to open mine?"

I took a deep breath. "I want to talk about something first."

"Okay." She bit her lip as she looked up at me.

"Do you know why I had you get tested?"

She rolled her eyes as she said, "Yeah, because it's good practice."

I looked at her seriously, took a cleansing breath and made my request, "Will you swear to God that if you are ever in a relationship with someone else that you will make them get tested before you do anything with them and that you will read the results yourself?"

She looked hurt by my request. "I'd never want to be in a relationship with someone else."

"Nessie, this is important. I had you do this to build a life long habit." I explained sincerely and then asked again, "Will you swear?"

"Yeah Jake, I swear to God that if I am ever in another relationship I will make them get tested and read the results before I have sexual contact with them."

I knew I was about to make her angry, but I needed her to know I trusted her. "Thank you Nessie. I love you more than anything or anyone. I trust you." I stood up. "Please don't be mad." I begged as I tore her envelope in half.

She jumped out of her seat. "What are you doing, Jake?" I held the pieces of her envelope high in the air so she couldn't reach them.

"I'm not reading these. I'm going to destroy them," I said calmly.

Her voice rose as she asked, "Then why did you bother to have me take the test?"

"Because I love you and I want you to have good habits and I needed you to promise that you would protect yourself in the future."

"You could have just asked me to promise! You didn't have to throw away your money!" She exclaimed as she continued to jump for the envelope pieces.

"No, I need you to know I trust you, but I also needed to make you see what an important practice this is. I know you were being honest with me. I also know you never would have read my result unless you believed I would read yours. I am sorry I tricked you, but I planned to do this all along." She was crying.

"Just give me the damned envelope we can still piece it together."

"No. I am not going to read your results." I started walking toward the foyer where the shredder was on and ready.

"Jacob Ephraim Black! Where are you taking my results?" She screamed as she followed me. I reached down and set the pieces in the shredder while blocking it with my body. She tried to squeeze past me to the shredder, but I didn't move until the pieces were fully shredded. She was crying and pushing against me to get to the envelope.

I grabbed her shoulders and crouched to her eye level. "Nessie, I'm sorry, but I needed to do that. Are you going to let it go at that or do I need to burn the contents of the shredder now?"

"I'll... let... it... go." She said between sobs.

"Okay now let's go back to the toe to toe position so you can tell me all the ways I just screwed up." I led her back to her seat and sat across from her. "I'm sorry. You have every right to be pissed at me. Take your time to express yourself." I waited and wiped the tears from her face. She slowly calmed down and her breathing evened out.

"I just don't understand, Jake. You made this big deal of getting us both tested and you paid so much money for those tests and then you just throw away my results like they are meaningless to you. Then you made me take the most solemn vow under false pretenses when you had no intention to follow your own rules. You're right – I'm pissed!"

"Ness, I'm sorry for doing that to you," I apologized. "First, the fact that you agreed to go for the testing was meaningful. Second, I know you better than anyone and I know you were telling me the truth about your experience. Third, your results are meaningless to me – I knew what the results would be before I ever asked you to take the test. Can I ask you some questions?" She nodded, but continued to glare. "Would you have read my results if you thought I wasn't going to read yours?"

"No! I trust you."

"Yes, and I appreciate that, but I need you to be safe. I told you I would do my best to not abuse your trust I think I am on the edge of that with this act, but hopefully when we finish going through these questions you will understand. Would you have ever asked me to get tested if I hadn't suggested it be something we both do?"

"Of course not!"

"My point exactly, Ness." I took her hands in mine. "Just because you have known me forever doesn't mean you will be in that position in the future. You are an inherently loving and trusting and good person and I love you for all of those things, but those things also make you naïve and gullible sometimes. Your safety will always be one of my first concerns. That naiveté could get you into serious trouble in the future – it has occasionally gotten you into trouble in the past. You've always had me to rescue you, but I worry that one day I won't be there and you will fall for some charmer who will hurt you." I paused gently cupping her fragile tear-stained cheek with my thumb before I continued. "I know I could have asked for your promise and you would have held to it because you don't break your word lightly, but I needed your solemn vow because I know you will never break that no matter what the circumstances are. If our relationship ever ends I need to know that you will be safe, and the best way for me to do that is to ensure your safety with an unbreakable vow. I'm sorry for using subterfuge to get you to swear. Would you have agreed to swear if you didn't think I was going to read your results?"

Her expression softened. She understood. "No," she said softly.

"Nessie, I love you so much I would risk your wrath for two reasons: one – to ensure your safety and two – to make it clear to you that I trust you implicitly. Do you understand?"

"Yes, but I am still angry."

"I know, I yield you the floor, lay it on me."

"Jacob, do you realize that you just abused my faith in you by doing that to me? I am angry because you thought it was important to show your trust in me, but didn't give me the opportunity to reciprocate that act. I understand your reasons, but I am angry about it anyway."

"I can't undo that act nor would I if I could. I'm sorry. I can only ask for your forgiveness and reiterate that your safety will always come above your feelings in my mind. I will try to be sensitive to your feelings, but your long term emotional and physical well being are more important to me than not incurring your anger."

"Jake, it isn't just that. I could easily forgive you for that." She took a deep breath before she continued. "I am most angry that you did this on the thought that our relationship is going to end and you need to protect me even after we're over. If your attitude about that doesn't change _you_ will be the reason our relationship ends. You talk about trust and love and faith, but then you have so little faith in us that you would abuse my faith in you in order to ensure my safety after we break up. I want to be with you forever, not until tomorrow, not until next week or next year. FOREVER! JACOB EPHRAIM BLACK! Have faith in that and stop trying to protect me from something that will never happen! The only way you are getting rid of me is if you die or break up with me! I. LOVE. YOU."

_Oh shit. I really fucked up this time._ "Oh my God, Nessie. I am so sorry. I didn't understand. I knew you loved me, but I never believed I would be good enough for you. I'm an ass. Can you forgive me for doubting you and your love and our relationship?"

"Will you promise to never doubt us again? Will you promise to believe that you are worthy of my love?"

"Yes, Nessie. I fucked up. I'm an idiot. I'll never doubt us again. I will believe you in the future no matter how little I deserve you, I'll believe you when you tell me I'm worthy of you and your love."

"Stop calling yourself names this instant!"

"Of course, Ness. Can you forgive me?"

"Yes I forgive you for everything – now, let's move on."

I kissed her with all the passion I had. "Thank you, Nessie. I love you so much."

"I love you too." She giggled and climbed into my lap to hug me and kissed me some more. My stomach grumbled. "I suppose we should eat." She laughed at my stomach. "I need a minute to clean myself up... I'll be right back. Oh, and I have some more mail to open at dinner."

"Alright, Ness. I'll get dinner ready." I poured the chowder into crocks while she left the room. I tossed the crocks in the microwave and set it to reheat while I sliced the bread and set butter on the table.

I was just putting the crocks on the table when she reentered the room and said, "Mmmm... the food smells good."

"Seafood chowder, Mademoiselle. What do you want to drink?"

"Tonight is the night we are having wine, isn't it? I have a feeling we are about to start celebrating..."

I grabbed two wine glasses and the bottle from the fridge. I uncorked it and poured us each a glass. She took a sip. "Not that I know what it is supposed to taste like, but I really like that. It tastes a heck of a lot better than the communion wine. What is it?"

"Embry recommended it. He said you probably wouldn't like many wines because of your taste preferences, but he said since you and I both like sweet drinks this was his recommendation. It's a Riesling called Chateau Ste. Michele. He also said if we liked this then we should try a sparkling wine called Asti Spumante. He left a bottle of that in the fridge too."

"Okay, so here is my other mail." She smiled widely and pulled out a thick manilla envelope with Seattle University's logo at the upper left corner.

"Did you open it?" I asked excitedly.

"No. I wanted you with me, but thick is good and it is my first choice." She smiled widely.

"Well open it!" I was excited for her we had been hoping for weeks that she would get in there and get a scholarship. She tore the top open and read over the first page. She dropped it all and started crying. "What does it say?" I asked worried that she had been rejected. I read the first page. "YOU'RE IN!" I yelled as I jumped up, pulled her into a tight hug and swung her around in a circle.

"And I have a full academic scholarship," she said softly.

"I know!" I was so excited for her. "We need to call everyone and let them know!"

"Let's just you and me celebrate tonight and we'll let them know tomorrow," she laughed.

"Whatever you want, Babe."

"Right now I want to eat, drink, celebrate with you, and read the entire packet of information they sent."

"Sure, sure. I guess I should put you down so we can do that." I set her on her feet and kissed her passionately.

We sat down at the table and ate while she read and summarized the information for me. She had been accepted with a full ride to the Economics major and they recommended she make an appointment to meet with the chair of the department to talk about the three concentrations she could focus on. They also wanted her to set up appointments to meet with some students in the program so she could get a student perspective. She was so excited, it was an excellent Catholic college. I knew how important it was for her to attend a college that her mom and dad would have wanted her at and she had focused on primarily Catholic colleges. I knew at this point she wouldn't even read the rest of her acceptance letters since she got into her first choice with a full ride. She could try out for their track and cross country teams if she wanted to, but since she already had a scholarship she was leaning to just run with me in the mornings and do her school work with the rest of her time. I would have to slow my pace a bit – down to 9 miles per hour, but I would stick to her pace if that was what she wanted to do and we could always go to the gym for days we wanted to keep our own paces.

When we finished eating I did the dishes while she finished reading the packet. We had each had a couple glasses of wine and since neither of us drank much we were both pretty happy. I was a bit more affectionate than normal. I always touched her a lot, but I barely broke contact during our evening. I found excuses to kiss her neck, ears, and lips. Eventually she dropped her reading and started kissing me back just as affectionately. We both knew the boundaries and knew what was allowed and what wasn't.

"Ness," I said between kisses.

"Mmm..." She answered without stopping her luscious kisses.

"Do you think we're done with the wine for the night or should we grab the other bottle and go to the bedroom?" I asked as she peppered my jaw and neck with kisses.

"Bedroom. Wine. Now." She moaned out between kisses.

I chuckled and grabbed two flutes and the sparkling wine. When I got to the bedroom she was searching for something in the closet. "Ness, what are you looking for?"

She smiled, "The nightgown I left here."

"You sure you want to wear that?"

She giggled and said, "Yeah, I'm a bit overheated and I'm roasting in this sweatshirt and these jeans. I thought the short silk would help me cool off."

"That's the wine you're feeling. Top drawer right side." I told her where it was. She got it out and then started walking toward the door to the bedroom. "Ness, where are you going?"

"The bathroom to change."

"No you aren't." I said firmly, "I'll step out of my room, but don't forget Quil and Embry could walk in at anytime and you are not showing that much skin in front of them. I'll grab a robe from the linen closet so you have something to put over that if you have to leave the room."

"Oh right, I forgot. Sorry, my Jacob."

"It's okay. You can change while I find you a robe. Just call my name when you are dressed." I grabbed some shorts and an undershirt to change into and stepped into the hall. I changed, then grabbed a robe for her and waited.

"Jake, I'm done," she called through the door.

I stepped back into my bedroom. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking stunning as always. She had adjusted the straps on the nightgown so less of her cleavage showed, but I could still just see a hint of her breasts at the top of the body. The side effect of that adjustment was that all but an inch of her thighs were showing. I could tell she had on underwear and no bra and that she had done her best to cover herself with the silk nighty. She was adorable and I had an instant hard on. I was thankful I had on the undershirt because I was sure I had a visible tent. It would at least conceal some of my state.

I stepped over to her and laid the robe at the foot of the bed. "You are so adorable, Nessie. I didn't even imagine you could look this cute in that nightgown. I knew you would look beautiful, but you are so much more than beautiful."

She blushed at the compliment and giggled softly. "So... what do you want to do now, Jacob."

"Well my first thought would be make out, but I think if we start with that we'll go further than we're ready for tonight. So let's just hang out and talk, maybe play a game."

"Do you know twenty-one questions? Zafrina told me about it. We swap between questions and we each get one pass and we have to tell the truth." I knew the game, I didn't really see the point of playing with Nessie since we already knew each other so well, but I figured if she wanted to play this I wouldn't ruin her fun.

"Sounds good. Do you need me to grab anything before I settle in?"

"That was your first question," she giggled. "And yes, I'll have another glass of wine."

I poured us each a glass and said, "Ness, you can have this, but then I'm going to make you wait at least an hour before you have anymore. You are a bit tipsy. Now it's your turn."

"Okay, let me think of something I want to know about my Jacob that I don't already know... okay, I got it..." She bit her lip. "The day after our first date you said you would describe a girl's cum. Can you do that for me?" I had also told her I would only do it if I could get myself and possibly her off afterward, but she asked the wrong question I could answer this one and not even use my pass.

"Yes." She waited obviously expecting more from me. "You asked if I can describe a girl's cum. Yes, I can, but I'm not going to right now."

"Word manipulator." She accused.

"Yep and proud of it," I replied. "Okay my turn. And remember you opened the door to sex questions by asking the last question. How often do you masturbate?"

"Really?" She blushed. I nodded. "Well I used to do it several times a day, but now I'm only allowed to once a week." Now she just opened the door wide open for a whole series of questions. I needed more details on how she ended up limited and why she was limited and how often several times a day was and how long ago was she masturbating that often.

"Turn about is fair play, Jake," she smirked, "How often do you masturbate?"

I answered unabashedly, "One to three times a day depending on what I see you wearing." I took a sip of my wine. "Okay. What is the whole story behind the answer to your last question?" I knew it was a bit unfair asking such an open ended question, but I wanted the information and didn't really want to drag it out of her question by question.

"Well... in December I was watching TV. and started masturbating under a blanket on the living room couch. I didn't realize how late it had gotten and Edward came in from work and caught me. He figured it out because of the speed at which my hand was moving, the sweat on my forehead, and..." she blushed bit her lip before she continued, "...and the sounds I was making." My dick was getting harder by the second.

She continued, "He lit into me about the living room being a common space and how I was disrespecting his home by playing with myself outside my bedroom or bathroom. Somewhat, amusing now that you told me just how complicated his and Bella's relationship is. Anyway his punishment for disrespecting his home was that I set my own punishment. I decided that the appropriate punishment would be to limit myself to once a week for two months. He accepted the punishment and I respect the rules of the house. So, I have only been masturbating once a week since then. And by the way, this" she pointed between the two of us, "isn't helping with my frustrations. Not that I'd trade it for anything." She took a small sip of her wine. "My turn again. Tell me what you fantasize to when you masturbate."

"Ah, Ness that isn't a question." I teased.

"Argh. You know what I mean." She huffed and then asked, "What do you fantasize about when you masturbate?"

"You." I stated boldly, "In multiple positions and outfits and doing various things with me, but always you, my dear."

"Wow – we _are_ being forward tonight."

"Forward is quite an understatement. My question. Hmmm... what is the one thing in a sexual relationship that you are most worried about or afraid of?" I asked.

"That I won't be enough for you," she said shyly. I put down my glass and pulled her over to me.

"You are more than enough for me. You never have to worry because you are inexperienced. I love you. I don't care about what we do as much as I care that you are happy; if you're happy, I'm happy."

"Okay, Jake. I love you too." She shuffled back toward the other side of the bed so she could look at me. "My question again... hmmm... what is the thing you are most looking forward to about having sex with me?"

"Making love to you. Connecting with you in every possible way, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I want to look into your eyes while I bring you to a higher plane of joy."

"You really sound so sweet when you talk like that." I leaned over and kissed her softly then pulled back.

"Okay my question again. What is the one thing you want more than anything that you haven't told me?"

Nessie smiled dreamily and spoke softly, "That you would make love to me for the first time on our wedding night." _My girl wanted to marry me. YES!_ Suddenly, her face fell. She jumped off the bed and darted into the hallway. _What just happened?_

I walked out to the hall. "Ness?" I called. The bathroom door was shut. She had turned on the shower, maybe she suddenly felt sick. I knocked on the door. "Ness, you okay?" She didn't answer. "Ness, you're scaring me here. Please tell me what is going on. Did you get sick?"

"No, Jake... I'm fine.... I just need some time." She called out. It sounded like she was crying.

"Nessie, are you crying?"

"No!" She answered too quickly. She was lying.

"Nessie, please don't lie to me. Open the door and talk to me."

"I can't..." She was sobbing.

"Nessie, I'm going to come in." I hoped she was dressed, but I needed to figure out what was wrong. I started to twist the knob it was locked. "Nessie, please unlock the door."

"I can't."

"Why not, Ness?"

She didn't respond to my question, but I heard her muttering softly. "Stupid, stupid girl. I shouldn't have said that. Why can't I just put a filter on my mouth? I should have passed." She was upset that she admitted she wanted to marry me.

"Nessie, please open the door. We need to talk about this."

"No, Jake I need some time."

"Please Nessie." I pleaded. I needed to hold her and alleviate her fears.

"Can't you just give me some time?"

"Nessie, I'll give you five minutes then I am coming in." I looked at the time 8:50pm. I went downstairs and got my toolkit, in case she didn't open the door for me. I really didn't want to have to take apart the door knob, but I would if she didn't unlock the door by 8:55. I looked at the door knob and got out the tools I would need to disassemble it. I waited until her five minutes had passed. I twisted the knob hoping it was unlocked; it wasn't.

I tried one more time, "Renesmee, you need to unlock this door now." She didn't reply. I was getting irritated. I knew she was upset, but I needed her to let me in. "Nessie, I'm coming in." I stated. Still no response.

I grabbed the Allen wrench and loosened the bolts on both sides of the knob. I grabbed a flat head screwdriver and gently slid it between the door and the hardware. I pulled the knob away from the door, then tapped the other half of the knob out so it would fall to the floor. Finally, I used my finger to pull the latching mechanism out of the door and swing the door open.

She was huddled in a ball in the far corner next to the shower. She was sobbing. All my anger and irritation melted away when I saw her vulnerable form curled up like that. I reached into the shower and turned off the water without taking my eyes from her. I bent down and picked her up into my arms. I walked us back to my bedroom and kicked my door shut.

"Shhh... you're okay... I love you." I soothed her while I held her. She just sobbed against me. I held her while she calmed down. After about fifteen minutes she was calm. "Do you want to tell me what just happened?" I asked gently.

"I'm so sorry you had to destroy the door." She was trying to change the subject.

"I'll fix it in the morning. It really isn't a big deal. I didn't destroy it anyway. I'm more interested in why you were huddled in the corner."

"Ummm..." She groaned.

"Sweetheart, I have all night. We'll talk when your ready, but we _are_ going to talk about it."

"I'd just rather forget about it."

"Well you know, I'm not going to let that happen. We need to talk about anything that makes you this upset."

"Please." She begged. _ Dammit!_ _I was going to have to force the issue. So much for cuddling for the rest of the night. _ I didn't respond. I just held her for another fifteen minutes and hoped she would decide to open up.

"Ness, I'm going to go put the wine away and grab some water. I'll be right back." I said as I got up. I grabbed the wine and the two half full glasses. I brought them down to the kitchen, dumped the glasses, set the bottle in the fridge, and grabbed 4 bottled waters which I shoved in my pockets. I went to the hall closet, grabbed two folding chairs, and headed back to my bedroom. I glanced at the tools and pieces of the doorknob on my way by the bathroom, I'd worry about it in the morning I had to take care of Nessie now.

When I reentered the bedroom she looked at me with a confused expression. "Ness, we're going toe to toe since you won't talk to me."

"C'mon, Jake. Do we have to?"

"Yes." I set up the chairs.

"Can't I just go home and pretend tonight never happened?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" I snapped at her. I took a deep breath. "I didn't mean to yell, sorry about that. But, we've both been drinking. You _are_ staying here tonight. I'll sleep on the couch if you need space, but neither of us is going to sleep until we address this." I grabbed the robe off the foot of the bed. "Put this on and take a seat." I said to her as I held out the robe. I took the waters out of my pockets and handed her one as she sat down. I set the rest next to my chair and took a seat.

I was quiet as she drank her water. After about ten minutes of silence she said, "So are we going to talk?"

"This is your show, Nessie. I'm waiting until your ready. I've pushed you enough tonight. When you are ready to talk to me you will."

"So you aren't going to ask me questions or anything?"

"Nope."

"I talk better when you ask questions."

"I know, but I'm not pushing anything more tonight. You need to open up to me without me directing the conversation." She finished her water. I handed her another bottle.

"Why did you have me put on the robe?" Seriously, she was going to ask me about that?

"I didn't want you to get cold on the metal chair and I figured we will be sitting like this for a while."

"So it's not because you are disgusted with me and don't want to see me dressed like this."

"No." I wanted to add more, but I needed to not get sidetracked. She drank more water. We were silent a few more minutes.

"How long are we going to do this?" She asked.

"As long as it takes. I'm just as stubborn as you, Ness. I'll wait as long as it takes."

"Are you only giving me water to make me more anxious to use the bathroom and therefore push this to happen faster?"

"No, anytime you need to use the bathroom you tell me and use the downstairs bathroom. I'll fix the upstairs knob while you are down there, but do not lock yourself in there again. I promise there will be consequences and you will not be happy about them. When you are done we will return to this position for as long as it takes."

"Then why are you pushing me to drink water?"

"I'm hoping you will be more reasonable as the alcohol gets out of your system. The water is diluting it."

"Why aren't you drinking any water?"

"Ness, you need it more than me."

"Why? We drank the same amount."

"Ness, you are one hundred and fifteen pounds, I'm two hundred and thirty five pounds. I am more than twice your size. You got thoroughly buzzed by two glasses of wine while I got relaxed." We went back to silence for another ten minutes.

"You really aren't going to ask me anything?" She huffed.

"Nope." She finished her second bottle of water. I handed her a third. After another ten minutes of silence someone knocked on my bedroom door. "Excuse me, Nessie I need to explain the bathroom doorknob to the guys." I stood up.

"You aren't going to tell them I caused it, are you?" She asked as I walked to the door.

"No, Ness, trust me."

"Okay."

I opened my door and slipped out of the room without letting them see Nessie, I shut the door behind me. Quil was standing there with a smirk on his face holding up the two ends of the doorknob. "Evening, Quil."

"Jake, could you please explain to me why the doorknob is in pieces?"

"Nope. I'll fix it before six in the morning. Just use the one downstairs until then."

"Okay whatever you say, man. It's your house." He turned to walk away.

"Ah... Quil, could you let Embry know the same? I'd rather not be disturbed again tonight."

"Sure." He looked at the door. "Nessie in there?"

"That is none of your business."

"Whatever man. She's a bit young for you."

"First, she is eighteen. Second, we aren't having sex. Third, it's none of your damn business."

"Forget I said anything. I'll let Embry know not to bother you. Oh, and I'll put away your tools so none of us fuck ourselves up in the dark. Night, man."

"Night." I waited for him to turn around and I slipped back into the bedroom. Nessie was almost done with her third bottled water. I locked the door behind me.

I sat back down and said, "Sorry about that, they won't bother us again."

"The interruption was a nice break." She laughed. I said nothing. She polished off her third water. I handed her the fourth. Another ten minutes passed, "You really aren't going to let this go are you?"

"Nope." She sighed and pulled her hair up and tied it off without a hair tie.

"Okay then I guess I have to explain." I nodded and waited. "I panicked when I realized what I had said. I didn't want you to know that and I felt like an idiot when I realized I had spoken without thinking. I should have passed on that question. I'm sorry I freaked out and locked myself in the bathroom it's just I didn't know how to face you after I said that." She stopped and just looked up at me.

"You done?"

"Yeah."

"The whole time we've been sitting here I have been putting my thoughts in order and there are several things we need to talk about and I'm going to address them all, but I want to do it in an odd order. Are you okay with that?" She nodded. "First I think we need to talk about you locking yourself in the bathroom and how that made me feel. I know you and I realize you were retreating to a safe space, but I need you to understand that I'm the person who has always rescued you from those spaces. By locking yourself in the bathroom regardless of why you did it you made me feel like one of the guys who terrified you. I thought you were afraid of me and to some degree you were. I want you to feel safe with me."

"I do feel safe with you. I just was ashamed that I had said that. I'm not afraid of you."

"We will talk about you feeling ashamed in a second. I want to make sure you will never lock me out of a bathroom again. If you need a safe space where you can be alone I can respect that, but we have too much history with you locked in bathrooms for me to be okay with that being your space."

"I feel safe in small spaces. Can I really have someplace here to hide when I need to be by myself?"

"Yeah, but there aren't many places in the house that can be just yours."

"If I can't have a bathroom then can I have a closet?"

"Nessie are you seriously asking me to let you have a closet to lock yourself into so you can hide from me?"

"No, it doesn't have to lock and I won't be hiding from you just gathering my thoughts. I just like being enclosed in small spaces." I couldn't believe this is what she wanted. _Holy cow. Edward was right she is a born sub._

"Sure, sure. Pick any closet in the house other than the ones in the guys rooms. I'll clear it out and tell the guys it's off limits. I'll even put a lock on it that only you and I have keys to if that would make you happier."

"Can I have that one?" She pointed at my closet.

"I told you you can have any closet you wanted. So, yeah you can have that one. I'll clear my stuff out in the morning."

"Please leave your stuff. It makes me feel better being around your things. Please leave it as it is; it's perfect for me."

"Whatever you want, Babe. Can you promise me you'll never lock yourself in a bathroom to get away from me again?"

"I promise."

"Good because neither of us would have been happy with the consequences if you did."

"What would the consequence have been?"

"You sure you want to know?"

"Yeah, I think I need to know."

"Well last time you disrespected me the consequence was a loss of quality time. It worked pretty effectively; I would have used that consequence again."

"Oh, I don't know how I would handle that now that we are a couple."

"Neither do I. It would have really sucked. I'm glad I won't have to do that again."

"Me too."

"Okay I do want to talk about your feelings and everything else, but first I need to apologize for something." She was confused.

"What do you have to apologize for, Jacob?"

"Well I made some assumptions based on your words and deeds from a couple years ago and I never asked what you wanted. I assumed all along that you wanted certain things and I set time lines based on my assumptions that I would have to be in control of slowing down our relationship. I never considered that maybe your opinions on the matter would have changed and that by setting time lines I was actually pushing you toward something you weren't ready for. For all that I'm sorry. I'm also sorry that you didn't feel comfortable telling me the truth about your desire to wait. Can you forgive me?"

"Of course I forgive you, but I honestly don't want to wait. You asked what my deepest desire was and I told you. If I could I would marry you tomorrow, but I should have let you set the pace for those discussions. I don't want to pressure you into marrying me. I don't want to wait for marriage if it means we can't be together like that for years. I'm sorry for putting you in that position. I'm looking forward to turning nineteen so we can be together like that. I wish I could take back my answer and pass."

"I don't. Ness, I love you. I fucked up earlier tonight when I abused your faith in me. Your making a similar mistake right now by trying to hide that desire. I'm glad I know now, because it makes a difference to me. I won't do anything dramatic right now by getting down on one knee and asking for your hand, mostly because I know that you would feel like you had pressured me and I want that experience to be perfect for you and not in reaction to a drinking game and a tough conversation.

"When you said that you wanted to make love to me the first time on our wedding night I was elated. I had never been happier in my life than I was in that moment. Your expression was so incredibly vulnerable and trusting and you were so happy to be telling me in that moment. For those few seconds my life was perfect and then your face changed as you realized what you said and my high came crashing down as you ran from me. I promise you Nessie, that I will do whatever it takes to make all your dreams come true. You need to tell me about the things you want. I won't be scared off. Nothing you could ever say or do would scare me off. I want to grow old with you and have children with you and experience all that life has to offer with you by my side." She was crying, but smiling too. "You okay, Ness?"

"Yeah, I'm perfect." I wiped her tears. "I love you, Jacob. Can you hold me?"

I pulled her into my arms, stood up, and brought her to the bed. "I love you too."

I sat with her in my arms on the bed for a few minutes. Until she said, "I need to go downstairs and get ready for bed, Jake."

"Sure, sure. Just make sure that robe stays tightly closed. Quil doesn't need to see what you have on under it. I'll get ready up here and grab us both a couple waters." I kissed her softly and we both got up.

"Of course, you're the only one who gets to see me." She giggled.

I patted her ass on the way out of the room. "You got that right, Babe." She headed downstairs while I used the upstairs bathroom and brushed my teeth. Quil had put all my tools away so I would fix the doorknob in the morning. I headed downstairs and grabbed a couple waters. I got back to the bedroom before Nessie. I set the waters down on each side of the bed, turned down the covers and folded up the chairs. I was sitting on the bed when she came back to the bed room and locked the door behind her. She took off the robe and left it by the door.

She walked to me and stood between my legs and kissed me passionately. I ghosted my hands along the silk at her sides. She moaned into my mouth. "How far are you willing to go, Ness?" I asked.

I kissed along her jaw and neck. "Anywhere, but home plate." I chuckled at her baseball analogy. "Let's just start here and see where it takes us." She twisted her hands in my hair.

"Okay, that sounds nice." I trailed wet kisses along her shoulder. I moved my hands up her back to the delicate skin at her shoulder blades. I fingered the straps of her nightgown. Her hands were moving down my chest and abs.

She was gathering my shirt in her hands, she had it worked all the way up to my chest when she said, "Can you lift your arms? I want to take this off." I complied, she removed my shirt, and I went back to kissing her upper chest. I moved my hands down to the lower edge of her nightgown. I touched her outer thighs, she giggled. "Your hands are so rough and I didn't expect them on my legs. It tickled." She explained.

"I can try softening them up, but they're always going to be pretty rough from working on engines." I said as I looked into her eyes.

"No, I like how they feel against me. I love how rough and big your hands are Jake. I wouldn't change anything about you."

"You are so amazing. I love you." I kept fingering her hem gently.

"I love you too."

"May I lift this?" She giggled and nodded. "What are you giggling about?" I asked as I kept playing with her hem. I was waiting until I knew to start working it off her.

"I thought for a second you were calling me 'May'. You haven't called me that since you came up with 'Nessie' I just thought it was funny." I chuckled.

"Well when Bella threw her fit, I decided I would stick exclusively to Nessie or Ness."

"You really like driving her crazy don't you?"

"Yep." I started kissing her again while I worked her nightdress up her torso. I kept my hands to her sides. I could feel her relaxing more and more under my touch.

"Mmmm... Jaake..." She moaned as my fingers caressed her underarms. She lifted her arms so I could remove the negligee. I kept my eyes on her face so she could get comfortable.

"You can look..." she said as she looked in my eyes and smiled. I moved my hands down to the sides of her waist and let my eyes trail downward.

One word would be perfect. She was toned all over, but not overly muscled she had a runners build. Her breasts were about 34 B or C with a thin waist and well proportioned hips. She had on lacy white hipster panties and her legs were well built from all the running she does. Here arms were slim but toned. And her skin had the palest pink alabaster hue to it. Her nipples were a rose color and a bit smaller than a half dollar.

She snapped me out of my revelry by giggling and saying, "You're staring at me like you've never seen a naked woman before."

I smiled, looked into her eyes, and sincerely said, "You're just so beautiful. I've never seen anyone as beautiful as you."

"You're pretty good looking yourself Jake."

I chuckled, "Nothing compares to you." I crashed my lips into hers. She leaned against me so our chests were crushed together. I hugged her to me and stood up so I could move us onto the bed. She broke the kiss, obviously confused. "Just repositioning, Babe. I thought you might like to lay down." She nodded and went back to kissing me while I moved us so we were laying in the bed on our sides.

I started kissing down her body. Savoring her feel and taste. Her skin was so soft and smooth. I moved so she was on her back and I was above her. I gently caressed her breasts with my fingertips and her nipples perked up and hardened from my light touch. She was moaning softly and wiggling under me. Her hands were working circles into my back and shoulder muscles. I moved my mouth onto her left breast and sucked her nipple into my mouth. She moaned my name. I moved to her other nipple while my hand trailed down her stomach.

I stopped when my hand reached the upper hem of her panties. I looked up into her eyes and asked, "Nessie, can I touch you?"

"Do you really want to? You don't have to just because I told you I was frustrated..."

I moved my face up, but left my hand at her waist. I kissed her lips. And then kissed along her cheek to her ear and whispered to her in my huskiest voice. "You have no idea how much I want to touch you, but only if you want me to."

"Yes, I want you to touch me." she whispered back and nibbled my ear lobe.

I concentrated my lips on her ear, neck, and jaw while I slipped my fingertips under the stretchy white lace of her panties. I felt her soft fluffy hair as my hand slowly worked toward her core. She was squirming and panting. I knew I was teasing her, but I was trying to take my time so she could stop me if she decided. I slipped my middle finger between her lips. She tensed and clenched her legs tightly.

"You okay?" I asked as I stopped moving my finger.

"Yeah. It just feels so amazing. I thought it felt good touching myself, but I just feel like I need more with you. It's like not knowing what's coming next is heightening my senses."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Do you think you can relax?"

I felt her legs relax and spread apart. I moved my middle finger lower to run against her opening. I just swirled it around her inner lips not entering her at all. I wanted tonight to be a purely clitoral orgasm for her so that we wouldn't move too fast.

"You are so wet for me." I whispered in her ear. I nibbled her ear as I gently rubbed her clit. It was already swollen.

"Ohh... that feels awesome... Jake..." She moaned out. I rolled my finger around her clit varying my speed from incredibly slow to a fevered pace. After about ten minutes of my ministrations she was tensing and bucking her hips. I pressed a bit harder and kept a fast pace.

"Let go, Nessie. I want you to cum for me. I love you." She rocked against me. I felt her entire body quiver and watched her eyes flutter. She screamed out my name. Her whole body relaxed against me. I watched her face as a look of joy washed across her features. I slipped my hand out of her panties since I knew she would be sensitive.

"I. Love. You. Jake." She took a deep breath between each word.

"I love you too, Ness." I grabbed the blankets and covered us both up and pulled her against me to sleep. I reached over and turned out the lights. She cuddled into me.

"Jake?"

"Hmmm."

"What about you?"

"Not tonight, Babe."

"Why not?"

"Because watching you orgasm was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and I want to go to sleep knowing how relaxed I just made you."

"But aren't you frustrated now?"

"Only a little. And I would rather sleep knowing you are relaxed rather than having you get your muscles tight from working on me."

"But I thought we agreed you will let me reciprocate especially after all our talking tonight."

"Next time, I promise. Just let me sleep knowing how much you enjoyed that; I'm exhausted now."

"Okay. Can I run with you in the morning?"

"Sure, six am sound good? Right after we pray."

"Night, Jake. I love you."

* * *

"Night, Ness. I love you too." I held her all night and slept happily.

Coming up:

"**Morning wood." **

"**Morning would what?" My sheltered girl had no idea what I was talking about. I chuckled.**

"**Morning wood 'W-O-O-D' like a tree. Guys wake up every morning with an erection. It is a natural physical reaction to waking up. It's called 'morning wood'. Other names are boner, woody, stiffy, chubby, and hard on."**

"**Oh, okay. Am I doing this right?" **

"**You're doing fine, but is there anything you want to do or know." **

"**I'm not sure I'm doing this right, you're able to focus on too many other things. I was totally focused on the sensations last night. You're able to carry on a conversation with me right now. I think you should be more distracted."**

_Please Read and Review. Reviewers get additional previews._


	9. Sex Ed 102 and an Ultimatum

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes _RARE_ Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship. **

Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s or BDSM lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual.

**Chapter Specific Author's Note: I am fully expecting negative reviews for this chapter. This chapter will not be altered nor will my story line. This is a pivotal plot point for me and more of the rationale will become clearer in later chapters. A character many people love in other stories will be slightly villified and Jacob's actions toward that character may be unexpected. Let me preface this chapter by saying the most important person to Jacob is Nessie. I believe that Jacob would protect her from any avoidable emotional harm and I believe that before he would ever put her at risk if he percieved a potential threat the person he finds threatening would have to make a substantial effort/peace offering.**

Special thanks to my two betas** i'mnotbambi **and** Sonja Cullen** - You are both awesome. This story is better because of your help.

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS! Also I update faster with reviews. **

Light** citrus fruit **in the beginning chapter as well.

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while.**

It's so hard to face

That in this day and age

Somebody's race

Could trigger somebody's rage

_Let's Face It _

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

**Chapter 9 Ultimatum**

JPOV

The Next Morning

I was having the best Nessie dream. But then I realized Nessie was _really_ kissing my shoulders while I slept and was rubbing my dick through my shorts. I slowly came into reality. I recognized that I was fully erect.

"Morning, Ness," I said happily. She stopped moving her hand. I looked at her face she started blushing. I laughed, "Did you think I would sleep through that? You seem surprised I'm awake."

"Do you want me to stop?" She asked shyly.

"Hell, no..." She started rubbing me again.

"I guess I didn't think that far ahead. I just noticed you were kind of hard and decided to rub it."

"Morning wood."

"Morning would what?" My sheltered girl had no idea what I was talking about. I chuckled.

"Morning wood – W-O-O-D like a tree. Guys wake up every morning with an erection. It is a natural physical reaction to waking up. It's called 'morning wood'. Other names are boner, woody, stiffy, chubby, and hard on."

"Oh, okay. Am I doing this right?"

"You're doing fine, but is there anything you want to do or know?"

"I'm not sure I'm doing this right, you're able to focus on too many other things. I was totally focused on the sensations last night. You're still able to carry on a conversation with me right now. I think you should be more distracted."

"I'm trying to let you get comfortable, Ness. If you're asking am I going to get off from you rubbing my cock like that... honestly, no. You're teasing me and you could keep me hard for several hours at that pace and pressure, but we have some time. I know you want to learn and I'm happy to let you, but you need to be okay with touching me before you can get me off. So again, is there anything you want to do or know?"

"I want to touch your skin..." She said shyly. I knew what she meant, so I lifted my hips, keeping the blankets over us, and slid my shorts off. I wanted her to be comfortable; I was fine with whatever she wanted.

"Like that?" She nodded. She opened her mouth to say something, but then closed her mouth and blushed. "What were you just going to say?"

"How do you know I was going to say anything?"

"I can read you like a book, Nessie. I know you. You had something you wanted to say and then got embarrassed about it and decided not to say it. What was it?"

She bit her lip. Then said, "I was going to ask if we could get rid of the covers."

"Sure, Ness. I'm just letting things go at your pace. I'm not embarrassed about you seeing or knowing anything about me." I pushed the covers off so they were all on her. She threw them off herself unabashedly and sat upright so she was facing me and her hips were lined up with mine. I had a perfect view of her naked torso.

"Can you teach me how to touch you?" She smiled at me.

"Of course. Let's start with you asking questions and exploring." She gently ran her fingers over my shaft up to my head. I shivered when she grazed my head.

"What did I do that made you shudder like that?"

"So basic anatomy lesson, this may be redundant, but I don't know what you know already so I'm just being thorough, okay? All the parts are sensitive to touch and pressure, just some are more sensitive to some stimuli than other parts." I took her hand and put it on my balls. "These are my balls. Be gentle with them they are what make it possible for us to have kids someday. How detailed should I be in this explanation? Do you just want to know about touch or other stimuli as well?"

"What do you mean by other stimuli?"

"Never mind. Well talk about that another day... let's stick to touch today. Besides, I think Bella wants you talk to her about this shit – she thinks I'm scarring you for life by talking with you about this stuff rather than letting her talk to you about it."

"Yeah... she mentioned that when she explained swallowing cum to me," she giggled. My cock jumped at her words, startling her. "Jake, why did your dick just bounce?"

"Physical reaction to a thought. Never mind that. Back to the topic at hand, pun fully intended." She giggled. "Okay so the things that feel good on my balls: gentle touches, scratching, gentle cupping and extremely light squeezing. Things that hurt would be anything rough or any hard pressure." I moved her hand to my shaft and wrapped her fingers around it with my hand on top of hers. "This is my shaft, most people recommend focusing heavily on the shaft, the reasoning is that it is what gets the most stimulation during sex. Honestly though it's the least sensitive part. Don't get me wrong; it _is_ important, but I think it just has limited feeling compared to the head. Things that feel good would be firm pressure, rubbing, squeezing..." She squeezed my cock. "Ohh... yeah just like that... and intermingled speed. When I'm getting ready to cum it is good to increase the speed and pressure. Very little feels bad on the shaft: biting and restriction would be the things that come to my mind."

"Why would anyone bite?"

"Ask Bella that one. She'll get pissed if I answer that and she has to undo some misconception I give you." She nodded. "Okay, the last part of our lesson and then you can do whatever you like to me." I moved her hand up the shaft so she was gripping me just below the head. I took her thumb and ran it over my head. I shivered. "That it the head or tip of the penis and it is the most sensitive part of my body. Remember last night when I played with just your clit?" She nodded; well that's one thing I thankfully don't have to explain. "The head is basically the male equivalent of your clit. Things that feel good are light touches and fast speed and lubrication is always good."

"Lubrication?" She asked.

"Yeah, sometimes you can use the small amount of precum that accumulates at the tip. Other times you can use something natural and sometimes you can use massage oils or commercial lubes. I really don't want to gross you out, so if you want to know what I mean by natural lubricants we may want to call Bella."

She laughed, "Jake I think at this point in the conversation it is a little late to worry about grossing me out. I have my hand on your dick. You had your hands down my pants last night. I think we are past the point of worrying about silly stuff like what my reaction will be when you tell me what you are talking about for natural lubricants. Just tell me now. If I get grossed out I'll ask Bella later, but I want to know now."

"Well – you have two forms of natural lubricants on you right now. One is your pussy's wetness; the other is spit." A look of comprehension came across her face and then she blushed. I groaned. "I knew you would be grossed out. I'll get my phone."

"I'm not grossed out. I'm just surprised. People actually do that?" I nodded. "I don't know if I could do that to you. It just seems disrespectful or embarrassing. Wouldn't it gross you out?"

"First of all, I assure you I would be totally turned on if you used either of your natural forms of wetness on me. I wouldn't feel anything other than love and desire for you if you were doing that for me. Second, were you grossed out by me touching you last night?"

"No... I was... excited." She said shyly.

"I know, and that is exactly my point. Why wouldn't I feel the same level of excitement if you were reciprocating?"

"So you're telling me you would be okay with me spitting on your dick?" My cock twitched.

I chuckled, "I think my cock just answered for me and yes, I'll definitely be okay with that."

"Good because I don't think I'm ready to try my other form of wetness."

"Whatever you're comfortable with, Nessie. You can avoid the head all together if you aren't comfortable with that. Anyway, can I please kiss you now that the lesson is over? Then you can do whatever you're comfortable with." She leaned down and kissed me passionately. Our tongues warred for dominance, but eventually she let me take control. I smiled as she pulled away.

She looked at my dick. She ran her nails along my balls and then moved one finger over my shaft. I hissed as she ran the finger over my head. I reached up and fondled one of her breasts. She jumped at the sudden contact. I chuckled. "What? I have two free hands and you are very tempting. I'll help you with the other if I think you need more guidance, but if you're going to tease me I'll be teasing you back."

She wrapped her hand around my shaft and started stroking me. "It's only teasing if you don't follow through..." She kept stroking me and then her head moved closer to my cock. I tweaked her nipple gently as she hovered over me. She spit on my tip and rubbed her thumb across my head.

"Oh... Nessie... you are amazing..." I moaned out between breaths. She took her other hand and started rubbing my lubricated tip while she worked my shaft with a steady pulsing rhythm. She took her upper hand and licked her palm and then put it back on my tip while she increased her speed. After several minutes I could feel the pressure building in my abs and balls. "Nessie I'm gonna cum soon..." She pulsed her hand tighter around my shaft and worked it faster all the while keeping up her ministrations to my tip. "Ness... Fuck!" I exploded into her hand. She sat up with a smug smile. "Let me grab my shirt from last night so you can wipe your hands off."

I sat up and reached down to grab my shirt while she spoke, "That was so amazing to watch – knowing I was bringing you to an orgasm. I totally understand why you were so content last night after watching me." I turned around with the shirt and she was bringing one of her hands to her mouth. I grabbed her wrists.

"What are you doing, Ness?"

"I was going to taste it." She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You don't have to."

"I know, but after I talked to Bella, I now want to know which one of you is correct and I think this is a better time to find out than when I have you in my mouth." She had a point. It would be worse to get a mouthful of cum and not know what to expect than it would be if she knew exactly what was coming.

"But, Babe, you know you don't ever have to take me in your mouth."

She laughed, "Jake, you can't be serious?" I looked her straight in the eyes and gave her a look that said I was. "Jacob," she sighed. "You are one of the most stubborn people I know. Let me be crystal clear, if you are ever going to perform oral sex on me then I _will_ be reciprocating that act. I love you Jake and I want every opportunity to show my love to you whether that is sexual or just as a friend and companion. I expect you to accept my acts of love as that; I do not want to fight with you over these things. I know you like to be in control, but now you are just being obstinate. Will you please let go of my hands so I can get this over with?" I released her wrists. I was somewhat surprised by her response to me. She brought a finger to her mouth and sucked it in between her lips. I handed her my shirt to wipe up with. She withdrew her finger slowly from her mouth and took the shirt and wiped both her hands down.

"So?" I asked.

She laughed, "I so knew you wanted to know what I thought of it!"

"Damn straight. So are you going to tell me?"

"When you describe a woman's taste to me I'll describe your taste to you."

"That is so unfair, Nessie."

"Well your answer of, 'Yes' to my question of, 'Can you describe a woman's cum?' wasn't very fair either."

"So you aren't going to tell me?"

"It's up to you, Jake. You're the one who decides when you want to describe it to me. You going to do that this morning?"

"Nope, we've already had enough excitement for this morning."

"That's what I thought."

"So we're a little off schedule today. Do you still want to pray, then run, then eat, and then shower or do you want to change it up a bit? I have to do the repairs to the upstairs bathroom before the guys get up."

"I think I need a little time before we pray. Minimally I need a shower first."

"What? Feeling guilty about being a sinner, Ness?"

"Sort of. I just don't feel like I should touch my Rosary with hands that were just on your manhood and covered in your spunk."

I chuckled, "Billy always said it was most important to pray when you were feeling guilty about your sins. We're all sinners, Babe. We can go to confession before Mass in the morning if it will make you feel better."

"It's probably a good idea. What time do we have to leave my house to make it to confession?"

"Seven-thirty at the latest, seven is better if you want to be sure to have time to confess."

"I'll expect you at the door at seven then."

"No problem, and we will wait to do our morning prayers until after confession, because I'm sure our penance will involve at least ten rosaries each. Anyway, so how does this sound for today's agenda: clean up, repair door, eat, run, shower, pray, and then whatever you want."

"That sounds good. I'll make breakfast while you do the repairs. By the way, where are we running this morning?"

"I was thinking Bellefields Nature Trails, the whole circuit is five miles if we do it twice we'll have covered ten, which is my normal run. You up for ten?"

"I could do ten in my sleep." She boasted.

"Really Ness? You want to do a twenty-eight mile? I've been dying to run the whole Burke-Gilman trail." I challenged her. "It's fourteen each way. We could run one way and walk the other."

"You want to do a marathon with me today? That will eat most of the day. You willing to carry water and food in a backpack?"

"Sure, sure. We can have a picnic on the trail, overlooking the water."

"I guess that changes the agenda again. Shower first, eat, pray, fix lunch, then drive to the trail and run."

"Sounds great, Babe." I gave her a passionate kiss and got dressed. She put on her robe, grabbed some workout clothes she had at my house, and headed downstairs to shower while I repaired the doorknob.

We had large bowls of oatmeal for breakfast since we both knew the previous night's meal would not be what you eat before running a half-marathon. We knew we'd need the carbs to get through the day. I grabbed a loaf of crusty bread I bought the day before and a block of cheese for lunch. If we were still hungry we could stop at a restaurant in the university district. I tossed a knife and some napkins in the bag. I tossed several bottles of water in the bag. Water was the most important thing for us to carry. We'd keep the pace slow since we hadn't prepped right the night before and we'd take it easy.

At the end of the day we were both worn out from our day on the trail, but had thoroughly enjoyed it. It was one of our many common interests. We had a lot of differences which seemed to actually help us build a stronger foundation, but our commonalities bonded us together tightly. I knew she was the only girl for me and I needed to talk to my father about it. I was worried he would disapprove because of the age difference, but I really did want his blessing and I wanted my mom's ring. I could buy her one, but I wanted to give her mom's ring because that way she would always have a part of my mom with her. If Billy didn't want to part with it I had one more option for a sentimental ring, but that would require a discussion with Bella and Esme and I wasn't sure if they could keep the secret.

I called Billy when I got home. "Hello." Billy answered.

"Hey Dad."

"Jacob, it's been a while since I've heard from you."

"I know Dad. How have you been?

"Same old, same old. You, son?"

"Busy as usual. The garage is doing great. I may be looking to expand it soon. The house calls have really taken off. Quil's been doing great too, thanks for recommending him. Tell old Quil his grandson is quite the model employee."

"I never had any doubt he would do well – the Atearas are good people. They're your mother's people."

"I know the genealogies as well as you do Dad. I can respect old Quil and his descendants, but don't you dare ask me to respect his brother and sister-in-law after the shit they pulled on me and the girls after mom died. They had no right to do that to you or us and I will never forgive them."

"Your mother would have wanted you to get to know your grandparents they aren't going to be around much longer."

"I don't care Dad. They should have respected my mother and her choices. They as good as spit on her memory and wishes when they pulled that shit. If they wanted to know me they shouldn't have tried to take us from you."

"Jacob, they were doing what they thought was best. I was disabled after the accident and they wanted any piece of Sarah they could hold onto. I'll admit they made mistakes, but your mother would want you to look beyond their mistakes and give them another chance."

"If that was the case they should have taken us for a short time and then not fought you for custody. They kept you from us for two years Dad. Do you know how hard that time was for us? We only saw you on weekends and then we had to listen to them bad mouth you after you left and talk about how much better off mom would have been if she had never met you. Two _fucking_ years, Dad. We had just lost Mom and instead of making things easier on all of us they used it against us and tried to tear us away from you. In my opinion they don't deserve to say Mom's name. If they loved Mom they would never have tried to destroy her family. Please don't use Mom's memory to try to guilt me into talking to them."

"I'm sorry, Jake. I know it is hard for you and the girls. I'm sorry for bringing it up; it's just I saw them at a council meeting a few days ago and they asked how the three of you are. As Chief, I have to deal courteously with every member of the tribe regardless of my personal feelings. I just thought I would pass on their interest."

"Thanks, but no thanks, Dad. Next time just tell them we are fine and don't tell me about them. I don't want to hear about them."

"Will do. Was there some reason you called, besides getting into an argument about the elder Ateara family?"

"Yeah Dad, I need to talk to you about something important."

"What's going on?"

"Well you know Bella's little sister?"

"Yeah, the little red headed girl you take to church. Her name is May right?"

"Yeah, well... she isn't so little anymore Dad and her name is Renesmee, you can keep calling her May, but you may hear me call her Nessie or Ness."

"Jacob Ephraim!" He said sharply. "She is just a kid! You practically helped raise that girl and now you're having sex with her! I thought I raised you better than that! You could go to prison, Boy! Your mother would be so disappointed in you!"

"Dad! I'm _not_ having sex with her. Besides, she is eighteen."

"What do Bella and Esme think of this relationship? It can't be healthy! God, you just can't disconnect from Bella you had to go after her _baby_ sister. Where are your morals! How can you take that girl into a house of God every week?"

"STOP DAD! Please let me explain the whole situation without you jumping to conclusions. Can you give me a few minutes without yelling at me?"

"You have five minutes, Jacob. Then I will come to Seattle and give you a piece of my mind in person if I'm not satisfied with your explanation."

"First, we are dating, but we aren't having sex and we won't be having sex until we are married."

"Married?" He interrupted.

"You promised five minutes." He was silent. "I love her, Dad. She is my perfect match in every way. She is my soul mate. I'm lucky enough that she feels the same way about me, Dad. Mom would have loved her so much. I want to build my life with her and I am going to ask her to marry me. Now about the issue of sex, I'm not going to explain myself to you beyond what I've already said. We aren't having any and we are planning on waiting. I'm upset though that never once in the time I was with Bella did you question my morality and you knew we were having sex in both your house and Charlie's. Now that I tell you I want to marry Nessie you are questioning my morality. I'm done for now, but I reserve the remainder of my time to rebut your response."

"Are you sure you aren't just seeing this girl as a replacement for Bella?"

"Positive, Dad. She is everything I ever wanted and more."

"Jacob, I really don't think this is a good idea."

"What could you possibly have against her Dad?"

"She's not Native."

"WHAT?"

"You are the great grandson of Joseph Ateara Sr. and Ephraim Black. You are in line to be chief. You are the only male descendant of Ephraim Black. Your wife will need to respect your obligations to the tribe. When I pass you will be the leader of the Quileute Nation."

"Two questions, Billy!" I growled, "First, why do you assume Nessie wouldn't respect my obligations to the tribe? Second, why didn't I ever get any hint of your racism in all the time I was with Bella?"

"You and Bella were never going to get married. I could see that plain as day. That girl was dependent on you as a friend, but she was never going to commit to you. It wasn't an issue with Bella. I don't know her sister, so I can't assume she would respect your obligations to the tribe. What I do know is that the time you have spent with those girls has taken you away from your home and your tribe. You don't even come home to visit anymore, Son. You are not respecting your obligations to this tribe as it is now. I can only assume she will take you further from us because it is obvious she already has."

There were so many things I wanted to say, but only one mattered in that moment. "Billy, I want you to think about this before you answer me. You know based on our earlier argument that I hold a grudge, so consider that in your answer. I called to ask for your blessing and my mother's ring. I am not going to ask for your blessing, because I honestly don't care what your opinion is at this point. However, if you ever want to meet my wife or your future grandchildren I would suggest you give me my mother's ring since she would have wanted my wife to have it regardless of her skin color. I'll come by the house tomorrow afternoon to clear out my belongings. You have until four in the afternoon to decide to give me that ring." I hung up the phone and went for another run.

When I got home I had voice mail from both my sisters. I called them back.

Rebecca wanted to know why Billy was so upset.

"Becks, I am not even going to explain my position, but I will say Billy crossed a line. I'm as angry at him as I am at the people who gave Mom life." I would never call them my grandparents and I wouldn't use their names either.

"Oh, Jake, that is serious. What did he do?"

"He got upset that the girl I want to marry isn't Native."

"He didn't!" She was honestly shocked.

"Yeah – he did."

"I wonder what he really thinks of Jon? I knew he never liked him, but I just thought it was because he was a surfer, now I wonder if it because he's Samoan."

"I don't know Becks. He may not care what you and Rachel do since you aren't in line to be chief."

"He pulled that shit on you to justify racism?"

"Yeah. He did. I'm on the edge of cutting him out of my life completely over this. If he doesn't pull his head out of his ass by tomorrow then I will."

"Yeah well that's why he called Raych and I. He seemed to think we could reason with you. I'm now thinking he's the one who needs a piece of my mind. What ultimatum did you give him?"

"He didn't tell you?"

"No. Raych and I talked and we know you little Bro. You always give people a second chance to make up for their screw ups. Fuck. You gave Joe and Rachel Ateara a second chance to apologize to Dad and us for everything they did. They didn't realize that you have Dad's determination and threw away their one chance to know you and by default us, because we didn't have nearly as much compassion after they hurt you by not apologizing. Jake, Raych and I may have Mom's looks, but you were the child of her heart. You always give people a shot to make things right. You are just like her in so many ways. It takes a lot to drive you to this point because you try to see the good in people and look on the bright side of life, but once you are at this place people just get one more shot and then Dad's ability to hold a grudge kicks in. It's a shame he can't see that it is his only chance. So tell me Jacob, what is the ultimatum? If I am going to try to get him to see reason I need to know what I am asking for." I smiled at Rebecca's perceptiveness.

"I demanded Mom's ring." I said quietly.

"Jacob Ephraim – what am I going to do with you?" She sighed. "I don't know if I can convince him to part with her engagement ring. You know he never got over her. He hangs onto her jewelry as reminders of their life together. You know you aren't the first person to ask him for this, right?" _ What was she talking about?_

"No. I didn't know. Did you or Raych ask?"

"Neither of us. Paul asked when he went to Dad for his blessing to marry Rachel. Dad gave him his blessing, but refused his request."

"Well I don't want Billy's blessing now. This is his one shot Becks."

"No compromises, but you know you asked him to part with one of his most precious possessions. You aren't making my job any easier, but I'll try my best, little bro." She laughed. "You may not want to mention the specifics of your ultimatum to Raych; she is still a bit pissed that he didn't give Paul the ring. I'll talk to her, if I can convince him to part with it. I don't want her to be angry with you or your girl over this. I'm thinking you may not even want to call her back yet, you know she's Daddy's little girl and he can do no wrong in her eyes. I'm worried you will explode at her when she defends him. I think one family feud is enough for tonight."

"Thanks, for the help and advice Becks, but I've never been one to hide from issues. I'll call Rachel after we get off the phone. I won't mention the ring because you are right there is no point in talking about it with her when I probably won't even get it."

"Don't give up hope yet, Jake. I'll do what I can. I know you love him and you don't want to do this, but I understand why you are doing it. I love you Jake. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I have a feeling Dad and I are going to be arguing well into the night."

"Love you too, Sis. Thanks for trying. Talk to you tomorrow." I hung up and took a few minutes to be sure I was calm enough to talk to Rachel. I dialed Rachel's number and waited for her to pick up.

"Hey Jake – took you long enough to call me back."

"Evening, Raych. I was on the phone with Rebecca first."

"I figured. You always could talk to her first."

"Listen, Raych, I'm trying to stay calm and cool about everything that happened tonight, but please don't push me about why Billy and I are fighting. I don't want to fight with you and you will defend him even if he is wrong."

"He's just a bit surprised about you suddenly wanting to get engaged. He had no idea you were even dating anyone. He was even hesitant about Paul when Paul and I started getting serious and now he loves him."

"How could he not love Paul fucking Foley, Rez golden boy?"

"Jacob, you don't need to swear about my husband. I know you may have issues with Paul, but please respect him when you talk to me."

"Sorry Raych. I'm angry at Billy and you just reminded me of the fight. Of course he loves Paul, he comes from 'good people', he's Quileute, he has a steady job, he brought you back to the Rez, and you two are expecting his first grandchild in June. Paul did everything that he wishes I would do, but Raych I'm my own man. I'm a partner in a successful business, I own a home, and I've found the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just want him to respect me for who I am and not force his wishes of who he wishes I were on me."

"I'm proud of you Jake and I'm happy for you. Dad's just worried about you; this all seems sudden."

"It isn't sudden, Raych. I've only been dating her a short time, but we've been friends for years. I know she is my perfect match. I've known her a lot longer than you knew Paul when you decided to get married."

"Okay Jake. Will you at least protect yourself and your business by getting a prenup?"

I laughed loudly at the absurdity of Rachel's request. "Rachel, if I get a prenup it will be to protect her from me, not the other way around." Nessie had a substantial inheritance that she had partial access to now and would have full access to when she turned 25. Her parents were well insured and the settlement from the wrongful death lawsuit was substantial. I would talk to Nessie about a prenup and encourage her to talk to Carlisle about it, but that conversation would wait until after she agreed to be my wife.

"What do you mean, Jake?"

"It's really not your business, Raych. Do you have anything else to say?"

"No."

"I'll be in La Push tomorrow afternoon to clean my belongings out of Billy's house. I'll come by if you want me to. I love you, Raych."

"Of course I want to see you. I love you too, Jake. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Just keep clear of Billy's place; things may not go well and I don't want you or the baby stressed by him and I arguing. Night, Raych."

"Night, Jake."

The next morning I did half my normal run. It was going to be a tough day and I knew I would need all the energy I could get. I picked Nessie up at seven am and we went to confession and church. I was wrong about the penance: only five Rosaries for me, for some reason Nessie ended up with ten, but it was none of my business as to whether she had additional sins or the priest just had different standards for us.

When I told her I would be heading to La Push and we didn't have time for breakfast. She wanted to know why and she wanted to come. I told her I had to take care of some things at home and that I couldn't have her with me. She begged to at least come for the drive and hang out in Forks at Esme and Carlisle's. I agreed, mostly because I knew I would need her to hold onto me if things went badly with Billy.

I knew it would be an incredibly hard thing to do. If I had to cut my father out of my life it would be painful. I also knew I had to stand up for Nessie and I wouldn't be able to ever tell her what happened. She would not feel guilty because Billy was an asshole. I knew she would push me to reconcile, but I never would. She is everything to me. We grabbed some food on the road and headed to Forks. I dropped her at Carlisle and Esme's and headed to La Push for the inevitable confrontation.

I went to Rachel's first so I wouldn't have to see her after I saw Billy. She was so happy being pregnant; Paul was taking really good care of her. We talked for a while and then when the time approached four pm I left their house to face my father.

I didn't bother knocking. He knew I was coming. I opened the door. He was sitting in front of the door to my bedroom.

"Jacob, I'm sorry." His face looked old and sad.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked coldly as I walked toward him.

"Everything. Not giving May a chance. Not trusting you to know what's best for you. Being old and set in my ways. I'm sorry I was an ass. I love you, Son."

"I love you too, but there is only one thing you can do to have a shot at fixing this." I didn't even want the ring anymore. I didn't want to think of this moment every time I saw her hand. I wanted him to offer it to me. His offer would be enough. He could keep it if he made the offer and I would give him a chance to be in my life. I prayed to God he would make the offer. I waited. His face was sad. I knew my answer.

"I'll pack my stuff and be out of here quickly." I said. I didn't listen to anything more he said. I just packed up anything with sentimental value and lugged it out to the car. After everything was packed I went back in to say goodbye. I got on my knees in front of his chair and hugged him tightly. "Dad, I really do love you, but I can't risk you hurting my future wife or children. You won't hear from me again. I love you. Thank you for raising me and sacrificing for me and the girls. Goodbye, Dad." We were both crying freely.

"I love you and I'm sorry."

"I know and I forgive you, but I can't take a risk with my family."

I got up and walked out of my father's life. I drove to Nessie. I had to pull over several times to clear the tears from my eyes so I could drive safely. When I got to the house I couldn't even get out of the car. I was broken and I needed to compose myself before I saw Nessie.

RPOV

I knew he was having a bad day, but I didn't realize how bad until I heard his car pull up the driveway and he didn't come in. I knew he needed time, but after thirty minutes I couldn't wait anymore. I left the house without putting on my jacket and approached his car slowly. He was hunched over the steering wheel shaking. I opened the door and realized he was crying. I put my hand on his arm.

"Jacob, I'm here when you are ready. You don't need to tell me what happened, but please let me help you and hold you."

He opened his arms and sat up. I had never seen Jacob so vulnerable. Tears were streaming down his face. I had never seen him cry before. I couldn't imagine what upset him to such a degree. I climbed into his lap and just held him. He closed the door behind me. He cried into my shoulder and held me tight like he was worried I would disappear if he didn't hang on to me. After about forty-five minutes his breathing steadied.

"Do you need me to drive home?" I asked.

"Yeah... I think that... would be best..." He said between breaths. Then he spoke more smoothly, "but I need to talk to Esme before we leave and I don't want her to see me like this. Can I have a few more minutes?"

"As long as you need, Jake. We can stay here if you want."

"I don't want you to miss school."

"I can get Bella to call me out and I'm sure Carlisle will give me a note, but whatever you want. I'm here for you. Whatever you need. My academic performance won't be impacted by missing one day." I tried to alleviate his concerns and yet make it his choice. He needed to be in control right now and I just needed to be there for him. When he was ready he would let me know why he was so upset.

He held onto me for a few more minutes then turned on the light and looked in the rear view mirror His face was a bit flushed from the crying and his eyes were red and puffy, but it could be passed off as lack of sleep. "Ah, Nessie... Do you mind changing your shirt? I've got a shirt in the trunk you can wear. I think the rest can be passed off as exhaustion, but your wet shirt is a tell tale that I've been crying." I looked down and noticed my blouse was soaking wet and tear stained.

"Of course, Jacob. Do you want me to grab it?"

"No. I'll get it." I scooted over to the passenger seat. Jacob walked to the trunk and rummaged around. When he got back in the car he handed me a gray t-shirt. It had a wolf and 'La Push High School Wolves' on the front and 'BLACK' and the number twenty two on the back. It was smaller than his current size maybe a large. It hung very loose on me, but I tucked it in so the excess wasn't quite as noticeable and left my blouse in the car.

We headed into the house and Jake went immediately to the downstairs bathroom. When he came out he looked much better.

"Is Esme here?"

"She said she was going to be in her studio for the rest of the night, she has some sort of big presentation tomorrow and she is finishing the last minute details. I don't think she was planning on sleeping. Uncle Carl is pulling an overnight shift in the ER so he won't be home until six am."

"Oh, okay."

"Do you want me to make dinner? Did you eat anything today?"

"Just breakfast. Dinner sounds good. Thank you Nessie."

"Will you ask if Esme wants me to make her a plate too, while you're up there?"

"Sure, sure."

Jake stayed upstairs for a while. I fixed spaghetti with grilled chicken, tomatoes and basil, a garden salad, and garlic bread.

When Jake came back downstairs his mood had brightened considerably. He still wasn't back to normal, but he seemed resolved. He came in and hugged me fiercely, spun me in a circle while lifting me off the ground, and kissed me. "I love you so much, Nessie. Thank you for being here for me today."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. I don't know if I'll ever talk about it, but everything will be okay. I promise."

"Okay."

"Were you serious when you suggested staying here? It's getting kind of late and I don't want you driving tired and I'm in no condition to drive tonight."

"Yeah, I'll just call Bella and ask her to call the school and excuse my absence." I started walking to the foyer to grab my phone.

Jake interrupted me, "I spoke to Bells while I was upstairs. She is going to call the school in the morning and tell them there was a family emergency." I spun around surprised. Did he talk to Bella and Esme about what he was upset about, but not me? "Nessie, what's wrong? You look like someone just killed your puppy. Do you want to go home tonight? We can take the ferry if you want to go home." He knew my face too well.

I knew I had to be sensitive, but he would know if I wasn't honest with him and I didn't want to upset him anymore tonight. "No, Jake. We can stay here; I'm not upset about that. I just thought for a second that you might have told Aunt Esme and Bella what you are upset about, but didn't want to tell me."

He stepped closer and pulled me into a very tight hug. "I swear to you, Nessie, if I ever talk to anyone about what happened it will be you. I didn't talk to Bella or Esme about that. Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah it was just an errant thought. I'm sorry for doubting you."

"It's okay, Ness. I totally understand why you would think that. By the way, dinner smells awesome. Is it ready?"

"Yeah, I just finished it when you got down here. Did Aunt Esme want any?"

"Yeah she did. You want me to bring her a plate?"

"No, you eat. You have to be starving. I'll fix her one." I fixed Esme a plate. "I'll be back in a minute." I brought her the plate and she thanked me. I headed back downstairs and ate with Jake. We slept together in my old room and in the morning we returned to Seattle. His mood was substantially brighter when he dropped me at home. I knew then he would be okay.

**Coming up:**

**RPOV**

"**Did you have a nice time?" He asked.**

"**Anytime with the love of my life is a nice time." I answered with a wide smile. **

"**Oh, is he around? He might be jealous I'm talking to you." **

**I giggled, "Hmmm... I don't know he's pretty hard to miss. He's 6'7" about 240 pounds, ruggedly handsome, dark skin, dark eyes, and dark hair. Have you seen him around?"**

"**No... can't say I've seen anyone matching that description. He sounds kind of scary. Maybe we should get out of here before he comes back and kicks my ass for sweeping you off your feet," he whispered conspiratorially.**

**I laughed, "That sounds like a great idea. I wouldn't want him to hurt you." **

Press that review button while I dodge hurled insults for villifying Billy.


	10. Valentine's Day

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes _RARE_ Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship. **

**The above warning has changed. Jake, Nessie and I had a chat and decided that well they want to explore the BDSM culture they will ultimately decide on a different lifestyle which is equally hot and may be more taboo to some and less to others.**

Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s, BDSM, or DD lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual.

Special thanks to my two betas** i'mnotbambi **and** Sonja Cullen** - You are both awesome. This story is better because of your help.

_**One of my Betas has just informed me that it is too much for her so I am in search of a grammar fanatic to beta my work. It is a lot of work but the advantage is you get content ahead of everyone else my current betas have about 50,000 words more than you all do in terms of content – it takes about two to three weeks for me to have publishable content. I have an additional 60,000 words in my computer (just for this story) that I have been working on nonstop for days that has multiple lemons and great romance, but I won't give any part out until I have finished the entire section which should be by the end of the week.**_

Here is one of my favorite chapters. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do.

Enjoy

-k

_Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone_

_I keep waiting for you but you never come_

_Love Story, _Taylor Swift

Friday, February 14, 2014

RPOV

Today was my first Valentine's Day with Jacob as my love. I had a very special gift in mind. I hoped that the discussion on the morning I gave him that hand job had addressed the issue of oral sex because I did not want him to fight me on this. I was going to give him a blow job tonight. I had gotten pointers from Bella and really the taste wasn't bad when I tried his cum on my finger. She had told me it wasn't, but said that opinions vary. She said that it tastes best after sex, for some reason the flavors of male and female combine and produce something much sweeter than either is alone. The texture was definitely weird, sticky and thick and the taste was mostly salty with a hint of sweetness and a bitter after taste, not great but certainly tolerable. Bella told me if I couldn't handle the taste then I should remove his dick from my mouth before he came. She said that anyone who recommended spitting was an idiot. She explained that if you spit you just have to hold it in your mouth and taste it longer. So I should either swallow or pull away and finish him with my hands. I plan on swallowing, since the taste was fine.

I still didn't know what had happened the day Jacob went to La Push, but I didn't want to push him. If he never told me I would be okay with that. I hoped he would tell me one day, but based on how hurt he was I knew that day might never come. If he needed to tell me about it he would. I was showing up at his house at six pm and then he would set the agenda for the night. I knew he liked to surprise me so I was learning to just go with the flow and not let my curiosity spoil my enjoyment. I also knew he was immensely turned on by my trust in him and I was excited by the idea of having no idea what was coming next.

I had set a scavenger hunt up for him at the shop with Rose's help. I told him on Monday that there were fifteen pieces to a puzzle hidden in the garage and house and I wanted him to have found all the pieces and done his best to complete it by the time I got to his place on Valentine's Day. I left them in various places and even hid one in the back corner of his closet since that was my space. I hoped he found all the pieces it would make a lot more sense if he had. Maybe I should have been more traditional and bought him something, but that just wasn't us. I had bought a piece of lingerie with Bella's assistance; it was a Georgette style halter top baby doll in purple with sequins below the bust. I also bought a long black satin robe to keep at his place so I would be decent when I left the bedroom, rather than wearing one of Jake's terry cloth robes which worked, but were extremely big on me. Bella had also helped me find an outfit for the evening since I had no idea what Jake had planned. She had suggested a knee length black and white lace dress. She also helped me french braid my hair. I put on a black wool peacoat over it and I was wearing nude nylons and black lace stiletto ankle boots.

I arrived at six pm on the dot and Jake opened the door before I even had a chance to knock. He held out a single cream colored rose for me.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Nessie. I love you."

"I love you, too, Jake." I smiled, took the rose, and kissed him.

He took my coat and smiled widely. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you."

He pulled me into the house as he spoke. "So I found all 15 pieces of the puzzle you said you had hidden, but there seems to be a piece missing. Come look at it and tell me if I put it together correctly." I smiled knowing he probably had put it together correctly. I had the missing piece in my purse.

I looked at the table. It was the heart I had deconstructed. It was missing the center piece which was also a heart. Each piece had a statement of my love for him written on it. "You did it perfectly, Jake."

"Then what goes in the center?"

I reached into my purse and pulled out the paper heart and gave it to him. It read, '_My heart is incomplete when we are apart. I love you._'

"That is so sweet and thoughtful, Nessie. I love it and I love you too." He kissed me. He pulled away a moment later. "Leave the rose on the table." I set it in a vase on the table. "We have dinner reservations at eight and a stop to make on the way. We'll pray in the car on the way to Seattle." He was extremely excited like a kid on a sugar high.

"Okay, Jake."

He grabbed our coats and helped me into mine. We headed out to the car and said our prayers. When we got to the city Jacob said, "Nessie, I really hope you enjoy tonight. I need to ask you for a favor and for you to answer any question I ask you tonight completely honestly."

"Why would I ever answer with anything other than the truth?"

"I know how you feel about me spending money on you and I want you to not consider money at all tonight. It's extremely important to me that your choices tonight don't consider the costs."

"Okay, Jake. I'll do my best not to consider money at all."

"Nessie, I can't do anything about it at the restaurant because you have to be able to read the menu, but please know you can buy five of the most expensive item on the menu and it won't bother me at all."

I giggled, "I don't think I could eat five entrees, Jake."

"I know," he chuckled, "that's why I planned for you to spend no more than five times the cost of the most expensive meal at dinner. You cool with that, Babe?"

"I understand. I can respect that. You know you don't have to spend money on me, Jake?"

"I know, but I wanted tonight to be really special and even though we could have stayed in, I wanted to do this with you. It's important to me to be able to spend money on you. I know you don't care and will love me regardless of how much money I have or don't have just like I love you and could care less about how much money you have."

"Okay Jake, I understand." I laughed, "I'm sorry for making you feel you had to say this."

"Don't worry about it. I am just trying to avoid the shock factor at dinner. I can make our first stop a bit easier for you not to worry about it if you want."

"How can you do that?"

"I can blindfold you for our first stop and then you will only be able to consider your other senses and answer my questions."

"Even if I could completely block out my inhibitions about the cost that actually sounds very exciting. Can we do that?" I was grinning widely.

He chuckled. "Of course." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a blindfold. "You can put this on now. We'll be at our first stop very shortly." I took the blindfold, slipped it onto my head, and secured it over my eyes.

He stopped the car and came around to carefully lead me into a place that had dozens of scents and soft music. Footsteps approached and a female voice said, "Hi my name is Kerry, can I help you find anything."

Jake stopped our motion and put his arm around me. "Yeah I'm Jake and this is my girlfriend Ness. I want her to smell some products from that line, but I don't want her to know where we are, what we are looking at or the price of anything."

Kerry responded with a small laugh, "I think I can help you with that let me get some scent card so she can't feel anything either." She seemed to be happy about our odd request. I was smiling. So she knew I wasn't in any distress. I heard her walking away and Jake started us moving again. I heard footsteps approaching us about 30 seconds after we were standing still.

Kerry spoke again, "Ness, I'm about to hand you a metal canister." She placed the canister against my palm. I took it. "It is full of loose coffee beans if you feel like your sense of smell is getting overwhelmed at any point you want to put that up to your nose and inhale deeply. It will cleanse your scent palate so you can experience the new scent fresh. Some people like to do it after each scent since some are very similar." I nodded my understanding. "Jake here's a bag for anything you want to buy. I'm going to get the scent cards ready; you can start anytime you are ready."

Jake responded, "Thanks." I heard papers shuffling and a squirting sounds. Jake spoke again, "Okay Ness here's the first thing I want you to smell. Tell me what you think of it." He held something up to my nose. I inhaled.

I wrinkled my nose. It reminded me of a fig newton with a woody aroma. "I definitely don't like that. It smells like a woody fig newton."

Jake chuckled, "You've got a pretty good sense of smell it's sandalwood and fig. I've got another when you're ready." I pulled the coffee to my nose to clear the last scent out.

"Okay I'm ready." He held something to my nose. I inhaled it was a nice scent it reminded me of the tea they use to make a coconut milk iced tea at the Thai restaurant I liked and vanilla. "Mmm... That one's nice... like vanilla and the tea they use at Thai Banquet for the coconut milk iced tea."

"I think you're right about that too, Ness, but I'm not gonna name the scents you like. You can figure them out later. We'll take one of each of those." I heard glass clinking. "Whenever you're ready."

I held the coffee to my nose again. "Ready." I inhaled the new scent. I wrinkled my nose again. "Yuck... That smells like vanilla and some sort of berry jam. You know I don't like berries."

"Black currant and vanilla." Jake chuckled, "Yes, I know you don't like berries, I just thought you might enjoy the scent and I'm not even sure a currant is a berry." He kissed my cheek. "I love you Ness."

"Love you too."

"Whenever you're ready."

I cleared my senses with the coffee again. "I'm good." I inhaled the next sample. "Ooh... I like that one too; reminds me of my Mom. Mint and something else." I smiled at the recollection of Mom's scent.

"Well now, I know we are definitely going to keep more minty things at my house. I like to be able to remind you of your Mom. I'll take one each of both mint types – she doesn't need to smell the other mint card since it is pure mint." I heard more clinking of glass.

"You have a slightly minty scent too Jake."

He chuckled, "Maybe that's why you love me."

"I love you for more than just your scent."

"I know. Whenever you're ready, Babe, we have just a few more."

I smelled the coffee and then nodded. I inhaled the next one. "Mmm... this one makes me content. I really like it. It reminds me of lavender and vanilla."

"One each of that one please." I heard more clinking. "The next one will be similar, but slightly different Ness, let me know when you're ready."

I cleared my sense of smell. "Ready when you are, Jake." He chuckled and held up the next scent. I inhaled. "It's nice, I like the last one better. Definitely lavender and maybe that tea Esme used to make me when I was sad about Mom."

"Lavender Chamomile. We can get that another time if you want. Let me know when you're ready, Ness."

I inhaled the coffee and nodded. I inhaled, "Oh... Wow! Leave that there. It reminds me of Dad. Oranges and a hint of spice. I definitely want some of that in the house."

"Your wish is my command. One each of this." I heard more glass moving. "Just one more, you ready, Ness?" I nodded and cleared my senses.

"'Kay go." He held up the next scent. I wrinkled my nose. "It's like grapefruit. It makes the back of my throat ache a bit just from the smell. You know that furry feeling you get when you drink grapefruit juice?"

He laughed loudly, "You are so adorable sometimes, Nessie. No, I've got no idea what feeling you're talking about. I actually like grapefruit juice I can't imagine I'd like it if I got a furry feeling. By the way that was Mandarin Lime and based on your reaction it's definitely out."

"Seriously?"

"Yep. I wouldn't lie to you."

"It's just surprising since I like mandarin oranges and I like lime, but something about mixing them makes them smell like a grapefruit." I put the coffee to my nose to clear the horrible smell out.

He kissed me on the cheek. "So cute." He chuckled again. "Kerry, I think we're done. Do you recommend anything else in the store."

"Yes," she said and her footsteps moved away. I heard the glass clinking with her movements. "We have candles in each of those scents and you might want to check out this line."

"I'll take the candles, but I don't think I should overwhelm Ness with anymore scents tonight."

"Do you want large candles or tea lights?" She asked.

"I'll take two of each of the large candles." He replied. "Can you get me all rung up and take the price tags off all those while I bring Nessie back to my car? It'll take a couple minutes for each of us to do that, then I'll come right back in and pay."

"No problem, Jake." She said.

He led me back to the car carefully and locked me inside. "I'll be right back, Ness. I'm locking the car so you don't get scared. When I come back I'll let you know it's me." Two minutes later I heard a click at the back of the car and a thump. Then I heard the door unlock and Jake said, "I'm back, Babe. Thank you for humoring me that was a lot of fun."

"I had a lot of fun, too."

He started the car and we started moving. I didn't touch the blindfold; I figured he'd let me know when I should take it off. A minute later he said, "You can take that off now. I wanted to be out of the neighborhood so you wouldn't have any clues until we got home."

I giggled as I removed the blindfold. "You really enjoy surprises. It's actually surprisingly exciting having no idea what's coming next. Initially, on our first date, it drove me crazy because I have a need to know everything and organize my life accordingly. I'm learning though how fun surprises can be. I just have to figure out how to surprise you now."

"Well I think I like surprising you because you're demonstrating trust in me, but there's a piece of it that's me being a control freak. I do enjoy watching your facial reaction to each new surprise immensely. So, while I can take as good as I get – I prefer to be controlling the surprises."

I smiled and took his hand. "I'm happy receiving, but I will surprise you sometime. I don't know when yet, but I promise I will."

He chuckled. "I believe you. We're almost at our next stop, Ness." He pulled the car up to the base of the Space Needle, a valet came to my door and opened it. He handed the keys to another valet and got a ticket. He took my hand and led the way into the Space Needle.

"We're going to the Space Needle? It's seven-thirty, Jake. Are we going to have time to make it to the restaurant?" He chuckled. We walked to a desk.

"Reservation under Black for eight pm," he said to the woman behind the desk.

"Do you want to go up to the Observation Deck now or after your meal, Mr. Black?" She asked.

"Now's ideal," he replied.

"They have a restaurant here?" I asked.

"Yep," he smiled at me as the woman led us to an elevator and gave instructions to the attendant.

She turned to Jake, "Mr. Black, please give your valet ticket to your waiter to validate when you pay for your meal. Thank you for visiting the Space Needle. Enjoy your visit and meal." We got on the elevator and ascended to the top.

It was brutally cold at the top, but we took our time walking the perimeter and looking at the night view of Seattle and the sound. It was beautiful and perfect. We headed back to the specific elevator that would take us to the restaurant.

Jake looked at me just as we were getting on the elevator and said, "Ness, you look really cold, I want you to get a hot drink right away when we get to the restaurant."

"O-o-k-k-ay." My teeth chattered. He unbuttoned both our coats and pulled me as close to him as he could. I got a bit warmer, but the ride was very short. We exited the elevator into a very warm restaurant.

I was huddled into his chest so I couldn't see who he was talking to, but he said, "Reservation for Black, eight pm."

A female asked, "Would you like me to take your coats, Mr. Black?"

"Not quite yet. I'll bring our coats for you to take later."

"Please follow me," she replied. Jake loosened his grip on me so we could walk side by side, but pulled my coat closed, put his jacket on top of mine, and wrapped his arm around me. I was beginning to warm up a bit.

She seated us by a window and asked if she could start us off with a drink. Jake answered immediately. "We'll take a hot tea and a hot chocolate with whipped cream." Less than two minutes later a waiter came with both drinks and asked whose was whose. "Both are for the lady," Jake replied. I started drinking the hot chocolate, while Jake prepared the tea and asked the waiter for a couple more things to get us started, "We'll take an appetizer of the Dungeness Crab Cakes and I'll take an unsweetened ice tea; the lady may want a different drink after she's warmed up."

I was getting much warmer by the time I finished the hot chocolate. "I'm feeling much better, Jake. Thank you. You're being rather formal with the waiter though, calling me 'the lady.'" I giggled at the title and began sipping the tea.

"Well you are a lady and it is none of his business what our relationship is. Take a look at the menu. Do you want some hot soup too, to warm you up some more? I only ordered the crab cakes to get us started feel free to order anything you want."

I opened my menu and was stunned by the prices. I obviously didn't cover my surprise well enough. Jake chuckled and said, "I guess I didn't fully prepare you for what you'd see when you opened that."

"I was just surprised. I promised to ignore the prices and I will."

He chuckled again, "You're being a great sport tonight. I know you would have enjoyed a night in, just as much, but this is something special I wanted to do with you. Would it make you more comfortable if I suggested meals?"

"No, I'm fine. I appreciate your effort tonight. When I'm fully warm, I'm sure the evening will be divine."

"How's that coming along?"

"Well I am almost done with the tea and I think I'm ready to remove these coats."

"Let me take them." He stood and came to me. I rose up and he helped me remove both coats. "I'll be back in a moment."

While Jake was gone the waiter returned with his iced tea. "Would you like a refill or a different drink?"

"I'll take another tea and an unsweetened iced tea as well. Thank you." I read over the menu.

Jake returned and asked, "So did you make a decision?"

"I'm wavering between the halibut and the seafood pasta, what about you?"

"Trying to decide between the king crab legs and the New York strip."

"Well we're already having crab as an appetizer, but you can grill a New York strip at home."

"Okay – you pick for me, Ness, and I'll pick for you."

"Sounds good. You're having the cedar smoked king crab legs since you can't do smoked food at home."

"And you're having the grilled halibut since I know you really want to try the duck confit side, but are fighting your runner's instinct to bulk up on carbs. We'll carbo-load tomorrow – have what you want tonight."

"Okay, then I'll have a bowl of the corn and clam chowder as well."

"That's my girl! I'll get a Caesar salad for myself."

The waiter came back with my refill and iced tea as well as our appetizer and asked for our orders. We shared the crab cakes. They were exceptional.

"Jake, am I seeing things?" I asked after we had been at the table about twenty-five minutes.

"I dunno. What are you seeing?"

"When we sat down I could have sworn the view was of downtown, but now I'm seeing the harbor."

He chuckled, "I was so concerned about your temperature when we got here I guess I forgot to tell you why I chose this restaurant. It's a rotating restaurant. In the time we're here we'll probably circle the entire view."

"Really? That is so cool."

"Yeah, the inner structure is stationary. That includes the kitchen, the hostess station, bathrooms, elevators, and bar. The three rings of tables are on a large slow moving ring in the floor and the windows are stationary."

"So, if I set my purse on the window ledge it'd be at another table by now?"

"Why? Did you?" He asked a little panicked.

I showed him my purse. "No, I didn't. I just imagine that someone has in the past."

He chuckled. "You scared me for a second. I never even would've thought of that, but you're probably right." Just then the waiter came with our soup and salad and refills for our teas. We ate and each took tastes of the others' food. We chatted and passed the time happily. The waiter eventually brought out our meals and refilled our drinks again. We shared our entrees and enjoyed the view taking our time to savor our meals and the atmosphere. When we finished our meals the waiter asked if we would like dessert and listed several. The two that spiked my interest were white chocolate crème brulee and Bailey's Irish Cream chocolate mousse. "What d'you think, Ness, you interested in dessert?"

"I can't eat much more, but we could share one if you're interested."

"We had mousse a couple weeks ago so let's try the crème brulee. Does that sound good to you?"

"Yeah." I turned my attention to our waiter. "Is that garnished at all other than the burnt sugar?"

"Yes, the chef tops it with raspberries and a sprig of mint after it is bruleed." He said.

"No garnish, then. I can't eat berries."

"Alright, would either of you like coffee or a refill on your tea or hot chocolate?"

"I'll take a regular coffee and you can refill the hot tea while you're at it." Jake answered. The waiter left.

"Coffee at this hour?" I asked. It was almost 10pm.

"I have an ambitious evening planned."

I smirked and thought, _you aren't the only one with plans_. "So you're in need of the boost to keep your stamina up?"

"Well, we've got to work off this meal somehow."

"Oh, yeah what do you have in mind?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." He smiled cockily.

The waiter returned with our dessert and hot drinks and gave Jake the bill. Jake took his wallet out and without even glancing at the bill laid his credit card and the valet ticket in the folder. We shared the dessert while the waiter cashed us out. When we finished dessert I excused myself while Jake handled the check. I returned to the table a few minutes later and he was waiting with my coat and a huge grin on his face.

"Did you have a nice time?" He asked.

"Anytime with the love of my life is a nice time." I answered with a wide smile.

"Oh, is he around? He might be jealous I'm talking to you."

I giggled, "Hmmm... I don't know he's pretty hard to miss. He's six foot seven about two hundred and forty pounds, ruggedly handsome, dark skin, dark eyes, and dark hair. Have you seen him around?"

"No... can't say I've seen anyone matching that description. He sounds kind of scary. Maybe we should get out of here before he comes back and kick's my ass for sweeping you off your feet." He whispered conspiratorially.

I laughed, "That sounds like a great idea. I wouldn't want him to hurt you." Jake swept me into a hug while chuckling and kissed me. We walked toward the elevator.

"I love you, Nessie."

"I love you too."

We returned to Jake's home a short while later. "Okay, Ness, is there anything you need out of your car? I need to grab the stuff out of the trunk from our first stop and get it up to the bedroom without you seeing it. I'll need about 5 minutes to get everything set up upstairs. Can you find something to do downstairs while I take care of that?" This was perfect I could get myself ready while he set up upstairs.

"Yeah, I need to grab my stuff from the car and get ready for bed. I'll do that in the downstairs bathroom."

"'Kay you head in first; I'll follow in just a minute."

I grabbed my bag and went into the house. I brushed my teeth, checked my hair, and put on my baby doll neglige and panty set. I covered myself with my black robe and headed to the living room to wait for Jake. A few minutes later he came downstairs wearing black silky shorts and nothing else.

"Wow, Ness you look amazing in that robe."

"Wait 'til you see what's under it." I teased.

"Wanna join me upstairs?"

"Well, yeah." I said and chuckled.

He took my hand and led me up the stairs. "By the way if you had to pick one scent from those that you smelled tonight which would you say was your favorite?"

I thought back to the scents. "Probably the lavender vanilla one. It smelled amazing."

"I know you so well." He smirked as he looked over his shoulder at me.

We walked into the bedroom the lighting was dim. There were two candles on each night stand one purple and one cream colored one. The air was infused with the scents of lavender and vanilla.

Jake closed and locked the door behind us and kissed me passionately. He untied my robe. I broke the kiss.

"This is beautiful, Jake. I think it's time for your real present." I slipped the robe off my shoulders and let it fall to the ground.

"I fucking love my present!" He growled as his eyes ravaged my form.

I pirouetted and said, "Oh, you think this is your present?"

"Isn't it?" He looked confused.

"Nope, it's a surprise and you have to be just as gracious as I was tonight in accepting it." I kissed his collar bone. "Can you be gracious and accept my surprise without argument or am I going to need to blindfold you, my Jacob?"

"Well, I'm not giving up this view. So I'll accept it without argument." He had no idea what was coming, but he had just promised not to argue. I started kissing down his chest as I slipped my fingertips under the band of his shorts. I kissed lower and lower and worked his shorts slowly off. He still hadn't figured out what was coming. I kissed below his navel and then trailed my hands along the V beneath his abs. I sank to my knees in front of his erect manhood. "Nessie, you don't have to."

"Jacob you promised." I lightly kissed his tip. "I was a good sport now you need to be one." I wrapped my lips around his head and slowly worked him deeper into my mouth. I used one hand to stroke his shaft and the other to cup and rub his balls. I ran my tongue hard against the underside of his dick just beneath his head. I worked the first few inches in and then he hit the back of my throat. Bella had warned me not to take him too deep the first time so I stopped and worked my way back toward the tip.

"Oh. Fuck. Nessie, that feels amazing." I hummed around his dick. I kept working him in and out of my mouth while varying the work my tongue was doing. I looked up into his eyes and he was totally focused on me. I stroked him hard with both hands and slowly worked his dick up so I only had the head in my mouth. I rolled my tongue all around his tip and then I opened my lips and backed up so I was barely making contact with his head and used my hand to roll his tip around my moistened lips.

"Tell me what to do Jacob. I want you to talk to me." I murmured against his tip. And then wrapped my lips tightly around his head again.

"Oh Baby, it's hard to find words when your lips are wrapped around my cock." I quickly bobbed my head up and down his shaft. "I just want you to keep going until I explode in your tight wet mouth." I started increasing my pace and pressure with my hands while I teased his tip with my tongue. "Oh... Fuck, Ness... Faster and harder... Please." I increased the pace once again. I let my teeth very lightly graze his shaft and then I raised them again to focus my lips on him. "Nessie..." I kept working while he moaned and sighed and whispered dirty words and my name again and again. After several minutes I felt him tensing. "Nessie. I'm gonna cum. You can take me out of your mouth." I hummed and sucked harder and faster. "Nessie. I can't hold off much longer." I increased my pace and pressure. "I'm gonna cum in your mouth, Babe." I hummed against his member. I felt his entire frame shake. I pushed him as deep as I could without gagging and worked my tongue against his shaft. I felt him releasing into my mouth and I started swallowing the thick hot cum as it spurted out of him. "Fuck! Nessie!" He yelled. He continued to release for about a minute and then he shuddered and pulled my head away from his cock with his hands. I went to lick him clean, but he held my head firmly in place. "Nessie, I love you and I really appreciate what you just did, but you can't touch my cock for a few minutes. If you touch me again I'll probably collapse from the stimulation. That was by far the hottest thing you have ever done for me. Where did you learn that shit? I know we didn't cover that in our lesson a couple weeks ago."

I smiled shyly and answered, "Bella."

"Your sister's trying to kill me. You're well on your way to becoming a master cock sucker and you'll only get better with practice. Holy shit, Ness. Do you have any idea how amazing that felt?"

"I think it probably felt pretty good."

"I don't think the English language has words to describe that. On a scale of 1 to 10 it was a 50. I love you Ness. Thank you."

"You're welcome Jake. It was my pleasure."

"Stand up." He helped me up. "I'm sure you need a water after you swallowed. Holy shit! You swallowed! I'll go get a bottled water. Lay down in the bed. I'm taking care of you for the rest of the night. Okay?" He yanked on his shorts.

I giggled at his enthusiasm. "Okay, Jake." He left the bedroom closing the door behind him and was back in a flash with bottled water.

He gave me one and I took a few sips. He sat on the bed and looked down at me. "I love you, Nessie. You're so fucking amazing." He caressed my cheek softly. "Front or back first?" He asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Next surprise, front or back?"

"This sounds like it could go really wrong." I giggled at the innuendo.

"Well I'd never do anything that'd make you uncomfortable, Ness, and I'm going to take care of both sides, front and back. You just get to choose the order."

"Back first."

"Okay. Roll onto your front and make yourself comfortable. I'm going to start with your feet" I did as he said and a minute later I felt him rubbing something into my feet.

"Mmmm..." I moaned. "What are you rubbing into my skin?"

"Lavender vanilla massage oil." He moved up to the backs of my ankles.

"What else did you get when I was doing the smell exercise?"

"Lotions, soaps and other things like that." He started kneading my calves. He slowly worked his way up my legs. When he reached my panties he asked, "Can I take these off?"

I giggled at his sweetness, "Yes." He slid my panties down my legs and removed them. He continued his massage up my back under my top. He removed his hands when he reached the top band of my neglige. He laid the fabric back across my back and moved his hands to my upper back and shoulders. I was getting more relaxed with each passing second. He worked all the way down my right arm and gently manipulated my hand and fingers. He worked back up and across to my left arm. He worked down my left arm and hand. When he was rubbing my fingers he asked me to roll onto my back. I did as he asked and looked up at him kneeling on my left side holding my small hand in his much larger hands.

He was looking at me with pure love and adoration. I felt him slipping something onto my third finger as he said, "Renesmee Carlie Dwyer, you're my perfect match in every way. I want you to be mine in every way possible. Will you be my wife?" I started crying. I don't know why I didn't think this would happen tonight, but I was stunned. "Nessie? Do you need more time? I should have waited to ask you. It's too soon." My Jacob was panicking because I hadn't answered.

"Jake, I'm just stunned. I needed a second to process that this is really happening. Of course, I'll marry you." He crashed his lips into mine before I could say another word.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You just made me the happiest man alive." He said the words in a rush. He was in that super excited five year old with too many pixie sticks mood again. He was kissing my face and neck and chest in a rush. I giggled at his exuberance.

"Are you going to let me see the ring?" I asked playfully.

He nodded with a wide smile and sat up on his knees and let go of my hand. I lifted my left hand and saw the ring. I was overwhelmed again. It was my mothers fifth anniversary ring. It had a large round diamond that was originally set in her engagement ring and two medium round bright blue sapphires to represent Bella and my births all set in platinum. I was crying again. Jacob wiped my tears and said, "I wanted the ring to have sentimental value. I asked Bella and Esme for your mom's ring."

"It's perfect. I don't think I could be any happier in this moment. I love you, my Jacob."

"As I love you, my Nessie." He kissed me and laid down next to me and lifted me so I was cuddled into his arms. We spent quite a while sitting there just looking at the ring on my finger. "So when d'you wanna get married?" He asked.

"How does my nineteenth birthday sound? It gives us seven months to plan – the church requires at least six months notice and you already set that date as the date you're comfortable with."

He chuckled, "You know your birthday's on a Wednesday this year?"

"You looked up what day my birthday falls on?"

"Well, I had thought we would be celebrating that day so I planned ahead."

"Oh I see. Why does it matter that it's on a Wednesday?"

"Aren't weddings normally on weekends?"

"Yeah, but that is about convenience for out of town guests mostly. I'd rather marry you on my birthday than on some random Saturday."

"Okay... I see your point, but what about school? Wouldn't you rather have the wedding over with before school starts?" Jacob was okay with getting married before I was nineteen?

"I thought you wanted to wait until I was nineteen?"

"Not if it means you're going to put your academics on hold for our wedding."

"I'd love to marry you sooner, Jake, but school doesn't start until the last week in September and the difference in dates would be less than a month. The absolute earliest we could get married in the church is August seventeenth since they won't be able to meet with us until Monday. I'd rather get married on a day that has importance to us then pick some other day."

"Alright... your birthday it is then, but you'll have to accept separate gifts from me for your birthday and our anniversary."

I giggled. "I can live with that."

"Okay, then... Wednesday, September tenth." He ran a finger along my shoulder. I shivered. "Morning, afternoon, or evening?"

"Morning. I don't want to spend all day waiting to see you. Plus, I want to enjoy my wedding night and not be so exhausted from an entire day of activities that I just want to pass out."

He kissed my shoulder, "You've thought a fair amount about this haven't you?"

"Well, I spent every Friday night at Alice's for years and weddings _are_ her favorite topic."

"So you two spent your time planning your wedding with no idea who the groom would be?" He chuckled.

"More like we planned various alternatives. Alice and I probably created fifty potential ceremonies and receptions to fill our time. It's sort of like playing dress up as a kid. You'd never wear your mother's dress to a real dance just because you imagined wearing it when you were a child."

"So I assume it'll be an Alice Whitlock affair?"

"Of course, she'd be hurt if we didn't let her plan it."

"So which of your fifty potential ceremonies are you leaning toward?"

"None." I giggled at the idea. "You're now an integral part of the planning. You have to weigh in about your preferences too."

"Well, you can have free reign. I could care less as long as I'm marrying you. Everything else is just details."

"You're so sweet."

"You can make it a surprise for me. I got a taste of your surprises tonight and I've got to say I'm delighted. I think I could live with more surprises." I blushed and giggled at the memory. His face got very serious for a second. "Ah, Ness, I'll need to approve the final guest list. There are some people I need to make sure aren't invited."

"Like who?"

"Can we not talk about it tonight? I just want to enjoy this moment."

"Sure." I kissed him passionately. He finished his massage of my front and I fell asleep in his arms.

I called everyone in the morning to tell them I was engaged and that we were getting married on my nineteenth birthday. Alice promised to clear her schedule for the week prior to the date and made several appointments with me to plan the event, including one the next day to find a dress. Uncle Carl and Aunt Esme said they would be paying for everything and that I wasn't allowed to argue about it. Bella and Edward were extremely excited for us, as were Rose and Emmett.

Coming up:

"Jake, you have to come save me." I whispered into my phone. I hoped I was safe in my hiding place.

The shrill voice called, "I will find you."

Jake chuckled, "You made your choice now you have to live with the consequences."

"I know," I whispered, "but I'm afraid! She is getting closer."

"She isn't _that_ scary, Nessie."

"You aren't _here_. You don't know how bad it is!"

Please Review you'll get an additional preview.


	11. Speaking Pixie

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on/explore BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes _RARE_ Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship. **

Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s, BDSM, or DD lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual.

_**I forgot to tell you all about the Polyvore for their Valentine's day date. Also if you want to peak at some of my other sets you'll see what the wedding and her dress will look like. **_

_**www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/outfit_ideas_valentines/set?id=18193586**_

Special thanks to my awesome beta **Sawny94 **and my fashion advisor and former beta **i'mnotbambi** - You are both awesome. This story is better because of your help. If you enjoy my story please check Sawny94 out she was one of my inspirations. Also I'd like to thank another writer who is currently abroad and giving me feedback on my writing you know who you are and I appreciate your feedback so much – if you want public shout outs I will give them. :) You all are awesome.

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS! Also I update faster with reviews. **

**Citrus fruit **in the end of chapter as well.

Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while.

_Please swallow your pride_

_If I have things you need to borrow_

_For no one can fill those of your needs_

_That you don't let show_

_Lean on me, when you're not strong_

_And I'll be your friend_

_I'll help you carry on_

_For it won't be long_

_'Til I'm gonna need_

_Somebody to lean on_

Bill Withers –_ Lean on Me _

Speaking Pixie

JPOV

Feb 15

She agreed to be my wife! I had thought she would, but there is always that tiny bit of doubt. I love her so much and I want to show her everyday for the rest of our lives how much she means to me. I pray that I can be enough for her.

Who knew that proposing would get a guy so horny? All I could think about was that soon she would be ALL mine. I wanted to go down on her after she agreed to marry me, but she was falling asleep during the massage so I figured I'd do it another time.

All in all it was a great Valentine's day. I was of course thrilled with my present from her and she was ecstatic the next morning when I showed her the Bath and Body Works products I had purchased at the first stop on our date.

With only seven months until the wedding we had a very limited amount of time to prepare. Ness was utilizing every resource to aid her in the planning. She was spending every Sunday with Alice making arrangements. Luckily, I had very little to do for the wedding; get my tux sized, plan a honeymoon, and veto my father from the guest list. Alice scheduled my initial fitting for February 28th since she would make sure the girls had made their decisions by then. I would have to take time off that morning, but I was half owner and Rose told me she'd rather be short a man for a few hours than piss off Alice.

RPOV

Sunday, February 16

"Jake, you have to come save me." I whispered into my phone, hoping that I was safe in my hiding place. I was totally overwhelmed. The choices she was forcing on me were too much. I couldn't calm down; I was panicking; and I needed my Jacob to help me focus. I felt so pressured and I needed to escape her clutches.

The shrill voice called, "I will find you."

Jake chuckled, "You made your choice now you have to live with the consequences."

"I know," I whispered, "but I'm afraid! She's getting closer."

"She isn't _that_ scary, Nessie."

"You aren't _here_. You don't know how bad it is!"

"Sweetheart, do you need me to help calm you down so you can deal with her?" His voice was so secure and I knew he would keep me safe.

"Mmm hmm..." I whimpered. I had been trying to comprehend why understanding the difference between taffeta and organza were so important to her when I'd lost it and hidden.

"Nessie, I want you to focus on your ring and breathe." I couldn't see it because of the darkness, but I could feel it.

I began working my first three fingers on my right hand around the ring. I felt the warm smooth platinum and the hard edges of the gemstones. "Do you know what that ring means to me?" He asked.

"Yes, Jacob."

His voice took on a commanding presence, "Then tell me," I was instantly calmed by his mastery of me; even at a distance he could always be able to soothe me.

"It means you want me as your partner for life," I said softly.

"What else?" He demanded.

"That you love and cherish me. That you want to have children together and you want to grow old with me and that I want all those same things with you," I responded tentatively.

"Do you think I would choose a weak woman to be my wife?" He asked sternly.

"No."

"Do you know what a strong brave woman I see when I look at you?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"Good. Now be brave and tell me what you're afraid of in a normal speaking voice."

"The choices," I said a little louder.

"Okay, Nessie that was good, but I need you to speak a little louder. You have nothing to be afraid of. What about the choices?"

"There's just so many options I'm overwhelmed." My voice was at about half it's normal volume.

"You're doing great, Ness. You're almost there. Tell me what overwhelms you about the choices."

"I'm just having trouble with all the language and choices; apparently there's a big difference between charmeuse, satin, taffeta and organza." My voice was now at normal volume.

"Well, Nessie, you're speaking pixie, but what I can say for sure is that the woman I love has no reason to fear her cousin and should never allow anyone to pressure her. You need to tell Alice what _you_ want. Do not let her pressure you or make you feel bad. If she has a problem with that you call me and _I_ will put the pixie in her place. But, Ness I know you won't need to call me because you are perfectly capable of doing this on your own. _You_ are a _strong powerful_ woman and you can have the wedding of _your_ dreams. All you have to do is stand up to the pixie. Okay?"

"Yes, my Jacob, you're right. I love you. Thank you for making me feel better." I felt ready to handle Alice again.

"You're welcome. I love you too, my Nessie."

"May, I hear you." Her voice called out. She was getting closer. There was ruffling around me and I saw light filter into my hiding space. "Honestly, May, do you have any idea how many strings I had to pull to get us into this bridal salon on a Sunday? Come out of there now! How did you even breathe in there? There is barely room for the wedding gowns on this rack and you are in the middle of them all."

"I like tight spaces." I responded as she held her hand out to lead me out from the center of the round display rack.

Jake still had not disconnected and I could hear him chuckle over the phone. "I guess you're caught."

"Yeah, how did you ever convince me to let you get out of the planning altogether?"

"I sweet talked you into making it a surprise."

"Yeah, well don't complain when you go for your fittings," I teased.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Babe."

"Get off that phone," Alice said sharply clearly not amused. "We have things to do and you get Sunday mornings with Jake. After ten is officially my time."

"Bye, I love you." I said with a pout.

"Love you too. Talk to you tonight," his voice grew stern again as he commanded, "Don't let Alice push you." Then he hung up his line.

"Do I need to take your phone on Sundays?" Alice asked.

"No. I just needed a minute. The differences between charmeuse silk and satin overwhelmed me a bit," I retorted dryly.

"Well it's important to be comfortable on your wedding day and you need to know these things to make an informed decision."

"But, what should I choose, Alice?" I begged. There were thousands of choices in this store alone. If I didn't find one today I'd have to do this again next weekend at a different Bridal store.

"Well I always opt for silk if it is my choice, but this is your day, May. The choice is yours."

"I'm just overwhelmed by the selection. I feel like there are thousands of dresses and I can't limit them at all." My breathing was rapid and I knew I needed to calm down before I got dizzy. I played with my ring and kept repeating Jake's words in my head over and over, 'You are a strong powerful woman.'

I knew I wasn't calming fast enough, but thankfully Alice realized I was overwhelmed. Sensing my distress she explained, "Well here are the things we know. You are getting married in the morning in a church with modesty rules so we are already limited to no cleavage showing which means about 80% of the dresses here are out. You are having a brunch reception so you are allowed to be formal or informal. Do you have anything else you want, so I can limit the selection further?"

"Well, I like the idea of a ballgown silhouette, but I don't want a really heavy dress. I mean I don't want my dress to weigh as much as my body does." I chuckled and began to feel better about my ability to make the right decision and have the wedding of my dreams.

"Do you mind a shorter dress or do you want it to be floor length?"

"I'm okay with any length that meets the church's modesty rules."

"So no mini dresses." Alice laughed. I rolled my eyes. "Okay, let me get some that I think would look nice on you that meet those requirements. Wait here; I'll be right back and then you can start trying on dresses."

"Okay, thank you, Alice." Alice brought me three dresses to start with and then flitted off for more. By the time I was in the first one, the hyper pixie had another ten on the rack next to the changing room.

"Not that one. Next." She dismissed the first and pushed the rack into the dressing room behind me.

Over the next hour I tried on eleven dresses varying from white to ivory. But it wasn't until I tried on a pink dress that I felt it. That moment when a bride finds 'the dress,' the one she has dreamed of all her life. I loved it. I stepped out to Alice and twirled.

Alice beamed clapping her hands as she jumped up and down, "That is the dress! Well have to shorten the torso a hair and make sure the skirt falls right below your knees. Do you want white or ivory?"

"White." I said with a broad smile. "So no more dress shopping?"

"Well... we still have to pick out bridesmaids dresses, shoes, you have to decide how you want to do you hair, and decide if you want a veil, and we have to pick appropriate foundation pieces," the smile finding my dress had plastered on my face fell.

Ugh would it never end? "Do we have to do all that today?"

"We can leave the bridal party dresses for a different day; you probably will want your maids input. We need to select your shoes and veil today so we can be sure the whole ensemble will work and be identical in color. The foundation pieces will be necessary to have before the first fitting do we can wait until summer for those."

"Summer? Why are we waiting to do the fitting so late."

Alice rolled her eyes and frowned with frustration at my lack of enthusiasm. "May, it takes 6 months to order a dress like this on rush. The earliest I can get this is August 1st and then it is still several hundred extra dollars. The wait list for this dress is a year long. If I had to do a super rush it would double the price and I could have it in a month, but that isn't necessary. Trust me. You want to wait to do your fitting anyway just in case your size fluctuates."

"I'm not losing weight for my wedding. I won't be one of those crazy brides who stops eating. I'm perfectly healthy and happy with my body," I rushed.

"I wasn't suggesting that, May. Just stating a general rule. The seamstresses here can do a full set of alterations in an afternoon so don't worry about the time. So do you know if you want to wear a veil?"

Eventually I chose a Grace Kelly style Mantilla veil with lace edging and picked out two pairs of high heeled pumps to give options for height and comfort.

She took my measurements and then brought me back to her and Jasper's home to talk about the planning process and when I needed to pick my bridesmaids. She wanted to choose their gowns next week so I needed to pick maids and ask them by the next Sunday. I also needed to decide on a color scheme. She gave me a planning binder to peruse that would keep me organized.

I knew exactly who I wanted to ask, but I needed to talk to Bella before I asked anyone else. I headed home and planned to see Alice the next week.

"Bella?" I called when I got into the house.

"I'm in the kitchen making lasagne, May," She called back.

Finding her assembling the ingredients at the counter I asked, "You need any help?"

"No. I'm all set. How was your day with Alice?" she asked, barely able to contain her giggles.

"Torture," I replied sardonically.

She laughed, "You remind me of myself. She at least has seven months with you. I forced her into a two month time frame and Rose pushed her for three months. Let me guess, you got the rushing the dress speech today?"

"Yeah."

"Don't let her guilt you. She loves the challenge of limited time. On the other hand I limited my exposure to the crazy pixie by only giving her two months." I giggled at her tone once again feeling the stress of four hours of concentrated Alice melt away, Bella and Jake were the two people that could always calm me the most.

"Well you had to see her practically every day of those months to work on your wedding. I limited her to Sundays until school ends and then two days a week after that."

"She means well, and she is one of the top five wedding planners in Washington state."

"Of how many? Six," I said sarcastically.

"I will never tell her you said that. So what is on the agenda for next time?" she asked.

"I have to pick my maids and color scheme this week and then hopefully we can all go shopping on Sunday for the bridesmaids."

"Who are you planning to ask?"

"I was thinking Zafrina, Carmen, Alice, Rose, and... I was hoping you would be my Matron of Honor," I asked sheepishly, realizing how important my sister's part in this wedding was.

"Really? You wouldn't rather ask Zee or Carmen?" Bella flushed with joy and a huge smile broke across her face

"You're my sister and my best friend; there is no one I would rather have by my side."

"I'd love to," she responded with a hug.

"Okay. I'm going to head upstairs and call my friends and Rose and ask them. Do you think I should call Alice or just surprise her on Sunday since she will be there anyway?"

"Make it a surprise. We'll have brunch somewhere just you, Rose, her, and I. Then we'll meet Zee and Carmen after to go to the Bridal shop. You can ask her at brunch. I'll ask Rose to join us, but you should call Rose and ask her to be a maid yourself."

I thanked Bella and headed upstairs to call my friends. Zee and Carmen were ecstatic that I asked them and promised that regardless of where they went to college they would come home for my wedding. Rose was happy to be asked and agreed, but said she would have to close the shop for the day since no one would be working that day. I called Jake and let him know about my plans, who I had chosen and about the surprise for Alice. He said that he would probably ask Edward to be his Best Man, but he was worried about irritating Emmett by doing that since they have been friends since high school. I repeated what he told me about hiding the body if he ever killed anyone and he laughed and decided to ask Edward. He was going to ask Emmett to be a groomsman anyway and he would fill out his group with Embry, Quil, and Jasper if Alice agreed to be part of the party.

Sunday, February 23

Bella, Rose, Alice and I met for brunch downtown. We had finished our meal when I called for their attention.

"First I want to say that you are all very important to me and I appreciate each of your help in putting together my wedding. Thank you all for your support. Alice, I have an additional request for you. You are my cousin and one of my closest friends and I love you. Would you be one of my bridesmaids? "

"Yes, I'd love to," she gave me a hug as she pulled away she said, "I have to tell you all something." She looked up and smiled widely. "Jasper and I are having a baby."

The table erupted with joy as we all yelled and rushed in for hugs. It was a bit chaotic for a minute; we were so happy for her.

Bella asked, "How far along are you?"

"Well we just found out last week, about five or six weeks along. So I will be having the baby shortly after your wedding if everything goes according to plan. So that means I will need a maternity gown."

"I'm so happy for you, Ali." I said. "Are we allowed to tell the guys?"

"I think Jazz is telling them today while they watch the basketball game." Alice replied.

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to cleaning up after them this afternoon," Rose said sarcastically.

"Is it really that bad?" I asked, "They all seem to be so neat, how bad could it get?"

"Individually each of them is a neat freak," Bella explained, "but when they get together without us around they let loose and collectively start wrestling and throwing food around. It's a nightmare. They are okay in pairs, but more than two and we have a mess that's why they rotate homes."

"I think it is more Jake and Emmett combined," Alice said. "They were just as bad in high school when none of the girls were around and I've noticed that if it's Edward, Jazz, and one of them then the house is in good condition, but if you have Jake and Em together everything goes crazy."

"Really? Why haven't I ever noticed it?" I asked.

"Sweetie," Rose said, "you live with Bella. She is the queen of cleanliness and the boys behave if there is a single female in the mix. Bella always cleaned up after them before you could see the mess or else you were with the four of them so they behaved. Your joining the married ladies club now, your sister won't shield you from that anymore."

"Don't worry, May. It's why we rotate houses when we have a girls' day." Alice said, "Then we each only have to clean up after them 3 or 4 times a year. If we have good weather then it's even less because we can make them hang out outside. I only worry about the furniture because Em and Jake are so big."

"Yeah. I just make sure anything breakable is put away in a bedroom or the dining room before I leave." Bella added. "They wouldn't dare rough house in the dining room and I know they won't hurt the wide screen so I don't worry about that even though it is breakable."

"Can you imagine the look on Em's face if I told him I was moving the wide screen to the dining room for his boys' day?" Rose asked with a laugh. Everyone laughed at the idea.

"How long did it take you all to learn this stuff?"

"Esme warned us all before we got married about what happens when the men congregate without a drop of estrogen in the vicinity." Alice explained.

"Are we ready to go?" Bella asked. "I think it's my turn to pick up the tab."

"What?" I asked. I thought we would be going dutch.

"May, once a week we get together for lunch usually during the week to avoid leaving the boys alone together." Bella explained. "We rotate who picks up the tab. We won't ask you to contribute until you can regularly join us which won't be until you're done with high school."

"Oh, okay."

"Okay." Alice interrupted us. "We need to get a move on or we will be late to the Bridal Store where Zafrina and Carmen are meeting us. I had to pull strings to get them to open on a Sunday, so we are not going to be late." Bella paid the tab and we headed out.

I had chosen browns for colors: one was a very creamy hot chocolate color and the other was a very dark brown like Jacob's eyes. The girls would be wearing the darker brown and the men would wear a lighter brown. So as we entered the shop I told the maids that they could pick any tea length dress in the dark brown color.

Bella opted for a satin strapless dress with a white ribbon and small bow at the waist. Rose chose a satin halter style with an empire waist and a brown organza ribbon in the back. Alice opted for a chiffon maternity style with spaghetti straps and an empire waist. Zafrina chose a chiffon 1920's style with asymmetric straps and a ruffled neck line. Carmen chose a satin spaghetti strap style with a natural waist and an a-line skirt it had white satin ribbon flowers and a white ribbon with long tails at the waist.

Alice was pleased with the selections. I told her I wanted the men to wear suits instead of tuxes since it was an early morning wedding and I hoped she could find the groomsmen suits in light brown. She asked if I had any preference on Jacob's suit. I told her to surprise me. She squealed and clapped at the idea.

She told me the next week we would tour venues that were available. She said that it wouldn't be that difficult to find one. We would have our pick of pretty much anywhere in Seattle since we were having a Wednesday morning ceremony and brunch reception. She wanted preliminary guest list numbers and asked me to speak to my priest to make religious arrangements.

JPOV

I picked my groomsmen without any difficulty and the day the girls went to pick out dresses we all hung out at Emmett's place and watched NCAA Basketball. Jasper told us that Alice and he had just found out she was pregnant and we were all happy for him. They had been trying since they got married.

RPOV

Jake and I had to do several things for the church. We had to take compatibility tests, go to meetings, and take a class. The tests involved answering hundreds of questions so the church could assess our compatibility. It was crazy to me. What were they going to do if the test showed that we weren't compatible, deny our request? It seemed to me that would be pretty bad pastoral practice for a church that's membership is already dwindling. I wasn't too worried, we were both devout; we wanted to raise our children in the church and neither one of us had been married before. I couldn't find a reason they would deny our request. If they did we would just have a secular marriage, but I really wanted to get married in the church like Mom and Dad did. It was one more hoop to jump through, so to fulfill my wish, we did it.

We also had to create our guest lists. It would be a small affair, just family and close friends. Jake had told me to just ask Rachel for her guest list and then he would make adjustments to it. When Jacob gave me the guest list back I was surprised. When Rachel created the list she labeled how each person was related, I noticed black magic marker crossing out his father and grandparents, Joseph and Rebecca Ateara. I didn't even know Jake had any living grandparents.

"Jacob, why did you cross off your grandparents and your father?" I asked, determined to get to the bottom of the mystery.

"They aren't welcome at my wedding and please_ never_ refer to those people as my grandparents. Giving birth to my Mom does not make them _my _grandparents." It was clear that he was very angry with them. His fists were balled and I could see the tension rolling through his body as his muscles in his shoulders and arms flexed.

"Jacob, I'm sorry," I spoke softly, wanting to calm him. "I didn't even know they existed. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just trying to understand. If my grandparents were alive I would want to know them."

"I'll tell you what they did, but then please let this go. And, Ness..." he took a deep breath, "I'm not ready to talk about why Billy isn't welcome," he answered sadly, obviously he was still hurting about that day.

"Was it that day you were so upset when you came back from La Push?" I asked hesitantly, my hand reached out for his, seeking to offer him comfort.

He spoke softly, "Yes," he sounded defeated.

"Okay, Jacob. You don't have to tell me any of it if you don't want to. I'll never bring up the Atearas again, I promise," seeing my Jake so upset made my own heart ache.

He sighed, "No, I want to tell you. I want you to know about my past." He pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead. He held me and began to tell his story. "When my Mom died Billy was hurt bad. He was in critical condition for a month after she passed. The only people legally entitled to care for us during that time were those two since they were Mom's next of kin and Billy was in no condition to care for us and his parents had died years earlier. Anyway there was a valid reason for them to take custody of us for the first couple months while Billy was recovering from his injuries."

He paused and stepped back from me and dry washed his face. "Billy tried to come get us as soon as he could. They wouldn't let him take us home. We needed to be with him and they wouldn't let us even see him except on the weekends. They managed to get a court order because of the extent of his disability and if that had been all they had done to me and my sisters I might have let it go as them doing what they thought was best, but_ that _wasn't all they did."

He took a deep breath and his eyes were so sad. "After Billy would leave on his visits they would spend their time bitching about him and saying how bad Mom's choice of husband was and how she would've been better off if she had never met him. Basically telling us that they wished we didn't exist." I gasped. He shrugged and let out a deep sigh, "Yeah, well finally – after two years of fighting – Billy managed to get custody back mostly because the girls were old enough to tell the judge how much they wanted to be back with Billy and some of the things being said.

"A few years later I was a teenager and they tried to give me a gift. I told them that unless they apologized to Billy then I didn't consider them my grandparents. When I see them on the Rez or at functions I pretend they don't exist. Billy has tried repeatedly to make me reconcile my differences with them. But they disrespected Mom by the things they said and did and they have never apologized to anyone about it so I can't forgive them and I can't forget what they did to all of us.

"Mom made a choice to love Billy and bring the three of us into the world. My mother was a good person with an amazing heart and soul. Billy makes mistakes; I'm well aware of that, but he was _her_ choice and we were _his _children. We _needed_ him in that time." His eyes got hard, "But, they were so wrapped up in _their_ grief they essentially spit on my mother's memory by doing the things they did." He stood up straight and made one more comment with determination and finality, "_That_ is why they aren't welcome to be members of _my_ family."

"I understand, Jacob. I'm sorry that happened to you."

"Don't apologize for them. You make my life better. You don't need to worry about what was bad in my life before we met," he looked at me, his eyes were once again soft and loving.

"Okay, Jacob."

That Saturday we met with the woman who was interviewing us to go over our inventory. She stated her surprised by our compatibility considering how short a time we had been dating. Although she was glad that we weren't living together, she was concerned about my age. Therefore, she reluctantly scheduled our wedding for the Chapel since we met all criterion and we were fully committed to a lifelong sacrament of marriage, but she required me to meet with her privately once a week until she was satisfied with my maturity level, and we would have to go to a five week long class for engaged couples that met on Sunday evenings for 2 hours a week. She scheduled us to begin the class in April and scheduled my private meetings for Saturday afternoons.

March 2, 2014

On my third Sunday with Alice,we toured a dozen typical hotel type banquet halls scouting out reception locations. Everything felt wrong, too standard, not like Jake and I. Alice reassured me as I dismissed all twelve locations. She reminded me that we still had time; that it was more important that we find a location I loved then to settle for something I wasn't excited about. As we toured we talked about how the rest of my planning was going. She was happy we had figured out all our religious obligations and couldn't believe the Director of Catholic Education was requiring me to meet with her once a week until the wedding. I honestly didn't mind. The Cathedral was the church connected to SU and Jake and I had been members of the parish for almost four years. If she wanted to get to know me better I welcomed the opportunity to get to know her as well.

My fourth Sunday with Alice was spent touring restaurants, but nothing struck me as the right place. My fifth Sunday was similar. This time we looked at yachts and private function rooms she had used in the past. We even looked at the Aquarium, which honestly I wasn't that into, but at least it had sentimental value for Jake and I. It felt like everything was at a standstill. Time was pressing on us and yet without a venue for the reception we could not plan anything else. I was ready to tear my hair out!

So by the sixth Sunday with Alice both of us felt intense pressure to secure a location. In an effort to find a spot she began to ask me to tell her about every date Jake and I had ever been on. After I finished telling her about our Valentine's date she darted away with her phone and said she had an idea. She came back a few minutes and continued to listen as I finished. She promised me the next week we would be visiting the perfect location, and that if I didn't like that one she would find a place outside with a beautiful view and just set up tents.

On March 30th, when Alice and I met for our seventh Sunday, we visited only one location that day. She brought me to the Space Needle and told me they had a floor dedicated to private events and weddings. Because of the time and day we had chosen we could get the entire floor for the price of half. I loved it! It had sentimental value, was beautiful and elegant, and the view was spectacular. We had finally found the perfect spot!

Things could start moving again, so Alice led me to a stationary store next to pick out invitations. Once again we spent hours pouring over the heavy card stock in various shades, examining the intricate scroll work till I found a heavy weight invitation with a chocolate brown background with light brown leaves on the corners. Finding the thank you notes, menus, and response cards quickly followed. To finalize the wording I wrote an email to Esme to ask her opinion.

_Dear Aunt Esme,_

_Since you and Uncle Carl are paying for my wedding I wanted to know how you would like the invitations phrased. I have given you two options. Let me know which you prefer so Alice can order the invitations. You know how she is._

_Love,_

_May_

_Option 1:_

_Mr. & Mrs. Carlisle Cullen _

_Request the honour of your presence _

_at the marriage of their niece_

_Miss Renesmee Carlie Dwyer_

_to_

_Mr. Jacob Ephraim Black_

_Wednesday, the Tenth of September _

_Two Thousand and Fourteen_

_Eight o'clock in the morning_

_St. James Cathedral Chapel_

_804 Ninth Avenue _

_Seattle, Washington_

_Brunch to Follow_

_Option 2:_

_Renesmee Carlie Dwyer _

_Jacob Ephraim Black_

_Request the pleasure of you company _

_at the celebration of our Marriage Mass_

_Wednesday, the Tenth of September _

_Two Thousand and Fourteen_

_Eight o'clock in the morning_

_St. James Cathedral Chapel_

_804 Ninth Avenue _

_Seattle, Washington_

_Brunch to Follow_

Esme responded quickly that she preferred the second option since it was no one's business who was paying and it made guests aware that they would be attending a Mass. I forwarded the language to Alice and she said we were almost done with the major details. I only had to choose flowers, decorations, food, music, and a cake. The details were never ending. She sent me the menu options for the space needle and that decision was easy; I opted for the wedding brunch buffet since it provided the most choice for all guests. I was beginning to feel that I ate, drank, and slept the wedding. There were only three things that could distraction me; school, college planning, and Jake. Every free moment was spent planning. When not actually out planning, I was thinking of planning. Most nights, even the ones with Jake, ended with me crashing asleep in his arms by 10 pm.

The eighth Sunday we moved into aesthetics looking at décor and place settings for the reception. I opted for alternating table clothes of the dark and light brown and the napkins would be the opposite color. We would use standard silverware, plates, cups, and glasses from the Space Needle. The last choice required for the reception was flowers, but before we moved to that Alice asked if there were any additional decorations to add to the church. I didn't think we needed much, but she recommended an aisle runner since we didn't have a flower girl. I picked a plain tan one. We moved onto flowers, but I didn't really like any of the floral centerpiece ideas I saw, so Alice and I would pick something else later. I chose multicolored floral arrangements for the front of the chapel. I told her not to worry about boutonnieres or corsages since I had an idea for an alternative.

The bouquets were tougher; the only floral arrangements that I liked were pink and white lilies of the valley.

Alice groaned, "Is there any way to move the wedding to May?"

"No, we both were happy with the September date. Why?" I asked confused and a bit irritated, after all it was my wedding day.

"Well they are extremely difficult to get out of season. I have some European contacts who can force them for the day, but it is going to cost an arm and a leg, not that Esme and Carlisle will mind. I'll see what I can do, but you better pick an in season backup plan. Maybe stephanotis and lavender they are both small like lily of the valley."

"Whatever you say, Ali. I just really hope we can get the lily of the valley; it's so beautiful."

"I'll do what I can, May," she reassured me happy with the progress we were making.

I told her not to worry about boutonnieres or corsages since I had an idea for an alternative.

The ninth Sunday she showed me centerpieces and favors. I had fun picking these out, I make sure that everything reflected Jake and my personality and history. I chose cupcake stands as centerpieces I would just need to figure out what sort of cupcake was Jake's favorite since they would be sort of like a grooms cake. I decided to top the centerpieces with nonpareils since that candy has been a favorite of Jake's and mine forever. I selected favors that fit with the early morning wedding. Everyone would get three favors with a fall design, 'Jake & Nessie Black' and our wedding date written on them; a hot chocolate packet, a bag of tea, and a 2oz packet of coffee in a brown coffee mug. I also wanted to incorporate cherry coke and sour patch watermelons into the reception.

Alice suggested having the bartender make Roy Rogers (homemade cherry coke) as the free drink with a sign at the bar that explained why I chose those. She suggested keeping the watermelon candy at the bar too since it doesn't really go well with the brown theme. She and I would sit down the week before the wedding and create a seating chart as well.

Alice recommended a DJ and an organist and I just went with her suggestions. I could wait until we got closer to the wedding to make specific choices for music. The cake was also an easy decision for me. I didn't want to try anything; I knew exactly what I wanted. I told Alice that I wanted a chocolate mousse cake from Belle Pastry in Bellevue and that I trusted her judgment on the shape size and appearance. It was the bakery Jake sent me into to buy his birthday cake on our first date. She gave me the next several weeks off since we couldn't really get to my hair, makeup, and fittings until August and we could do the music and the program in July or August as well. I felt that for a moment I would have my life back.

That Sunday was also the beginning of our class for engaged couples at the church. The last time I met with the Director of Religious Education she had said I wouldn't need the private meetings she was sufficiently satisfied with my maturity level and even recommended I assist her with the Youth Ministry over the summer and after I began my work at SU. I think the tipping point for her was when I asked her why I was old enough to make huge decisions like what college to attend and what career path to follow but not old enough to choose my husband. I also asked her if she would be discouraging me if I were choosing a religious vocation at my age. I explained that from my perspective choosing to engage in the blessed sacrament of marriage is a permanent irrevocable decision and that I had no doubt in my decision or my faith.

JPOV

After the one hiccup they encountered when picking out a dress that first Sunday, Ness and Alice were quickly putting together the wedding with no further incidents. As far as I could see Ness had calmed her fears and learned how to handle the pixie.

The day we met with the lady from the church to evaluate our intentions I was pissed that she implied that Nessie was too young to get married. Nessie was very gracious about it and agreed to meet with the woman as often as she would like until she was satisfied.

Nessie and I had a tough conversation earlier that week when I did my guest list vetoes. I have become so desensitized to Joe and Rebecca Ateara that I totally ignored the fact that they were at Rachel's wedding. They just don't exist to me anymore so I was a bit surprised when I saw their name on the print out Nessie gave me. I knew she would ask about my veto of Billy, but I didn't even consider what she would say when she found out about the two of them. I had also removed any one who was invited solely because of their connection to Paul. Looking back it probably wasn't the smartest decision to ask for Rachel's guest list, but my other option would have been Becks' Christmas card list and I just wasn't thinking.

I knew I had another tough conversation with Nessie coming soon about money. I thought I should talk to Carlisle about it first and maybe he would help me with the conversation. I called him on a Monday afternoon.

"Hello," he answered.

"Hello Carlisle, it's Jake I need to talk to you about something. Do you have time now?"

"Yes, Jacob. I have the rest of the afternoon free."

"You know how much I love Nessie and that I would protect her from anything even me?"

"Yes. Are you having second thoughts, Jacob?" his voice held an edge of panic

"No! No! It's just that I want to suggest a prenup for her protection and you know how she is," I rushed to reassure.

"Jacob, I realize you are trying to do right by her, but you are about to step between a mama grizzly and her cubs. She's going to be really angry at the suggestion."

I laughed at the analogy, "I know she will be mad, but I think I should at least make the suggestion. Make sure she knows the option is available and that I won't be offended in the least by the suggestion that she get a prenup."

Carlisle spent the next hour explaining to me that if I wanted a prenup it had to protect both Nessie and I not just her. I wanted to support her and provide for all her needs. He spent a while convincing me that she would be fine with that, but that she would probably still want me to have full access to her trust. I was just trying to protect her and Carlisle understood that, but he also asked me how I would feel if the tables were turned. By the end of the conversation he had convinced me to let him talk to her about it since she would probably feel like I was planning for the end of our marriage before it even began if I raised the issue. He said that if she had the same sentiments as I did then he would let me know and that we would have joint bank accounts. If she had any interest in protecting herself he would convince her to get one.

March

Nessie and I barely had time together with our schedules and all the wedding planning. She was exhausted most of the time, but happy with her progress. She was staying over every Friday, but she didn't have energy to do much so I knew I had to take it easy on the extra-curricular activities. I was frustrated. I knew wedding planning was a big undertaking and all, but it had become this all consuming thing. All I could think about when I was with Nessie was being with her and enjoying each other. I desperately wanted to give her a mind shattering orgasm while I tasted her, but she was so tired all the time and she couldn't even stay awake to cuddle and talk through a movie.

One night she seemed to be in a more relaxed mood than I had seen her in for a while. I decided to make the most of her less stressed mood. I suggested we head to bed. When we stepped into my room I immediately drew her close, bringing my lips to hers and slipped the robe off her shoulders. She moaned as my lips pressed soft kisses down her neck and nibbled lightly at her pulse point. Slowly her fingers unbuttoning my shirt while she tasted whatever skin she could reach. I slid my thumbs under the straps following them down till they fell to her elbows. Her pert breasts were the only thing holding the slip up. The sight made my dick harden, it ached with the need for this one woman. I started massaging her breasts, caressing the rosy tips. The movement caused the slip to fall down to the floor baring her gorgeous body. I groaned; I wanted to explore every inch of her with my hands, my mouth, my tongue, my dick. Ness whimpered with need pressing her throbbing center into my hot groin. Wanting more I moved my fingers to the sides of her panties and worked them down her thighs until they fell away. I lifted her in my arms and carried her to the bed.

I laid over her, and slowly worked my way down her body kissing every inch of her delicious soft skin. I gave a bit of extra attention to her breasts and nipples; teasing them with my tongue and rolled the buds gently between my teeth. She squealed my name, arching her back from the bed as I pulled away.

"You like that?" I teased huskily.

"Mmmm... hmmm." She smiled and her eyes were darkening with lust.

I continued working down to her triangle of fluffy red hair. I repositioned her legs so her knees were on my shoulders with my head between her legs. I rubbed her thighs while my tongue slid along her slit, moistening her. I tasted her wetness: salty, sweet, slightly musky, and all Nessie. Perfect. I greedily lapped up her juices with long slow strokes, and darted my tongue into her small tight hole while moving my fingers to stimulate her throbbing bud with small quick circles. She clenched her thighs around my head and bucked her hips. I took control and pushed her hips back to the bed.

"Don't move... I promise to make this good for you Babe." I said softly.

"You're already making it good." Her thighs relaxed. My dick throbbed with her obedience. Smiling up at her, I continued my ministrations alternating between her tender lips, tight wet hole, and swollen clit with my tongue and fingertips. After several minutes she was clenching and writhing. "Jake... Ooooh... Jacob..." She panted between each word and moaned.

"Its okay Babe. I'm right here Baby, just let it go. I'll take care of you." And with that I bit her clit gently and rolled it between my teeth.

"Oh... My... Word... JACOB!" She screamed as her entire frame shuttered with the force of her orgasm. She relaxed as I lapped up her juices.

"I love you, Nessie." I rose up and moved to her side and kissed her softly. I turned out the lights and wrapped her in my arms.

After her breathing steadied she whispered. "I love you too, Jacob. Thank you so much that was amazing."

"My pleasure, Babe. Sleep now."

"Goodnight, my love."

"Goodnight, my Nessie."

**Coming up:**

**JPOV**

"**I'll take care of it."**

"**I love you."**

"**I love you too. Now what do you want to do tonight?"**

"**Hmm... I could think of a few things." She said seductively. I followed her to the bedroom where she turned on music and had me sit down. She started stripping to the beat of the music she was still wearing her school uniform, since she came over right after she finished track practice. She slowly unbuttoned her white blouse and dropped it off her shoulders revealing a white lace bra that I could see the pink of her nipples through. She danced like that for a short time and then she unbuttoned her skirt and slid it off with her ass facing me. She was wearing white lace boy shorts. **


	12. Hundred  Hundred

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on/explore BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes _RARE_ Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship. **

Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s, BDSM, or DD lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual.

Special thanks to my awesome beta **Sawny94. **This story is better because of your help. If you enjoy my story please check Sawny94 out she was one of my inspirations. You're awesome.

I am still seeking a grammar nut if you want to help me out. My first chapter got rejected on Twilighted because of punctuation; :-( I was so sad. I think they may be tougher on stories with controversial content.

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS! Also I update faster with reviews. **

**Citrus fruit **in the middle of chapter.

Twitter me kmddeprez1122

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while.**

_With these hungry eyes_

_One look at you and I can't disguise_

_I've got hungry eyes_

_I feel the magic between you and I_

_I want to hold you so hear me out_

_I want to show you what love's all about_

_Darlin tonight_

_Now I've got you in my sights_

_Hungry Eyes,_ Eric Carmen

Chapter 12

Hundred-Hundred

JPOV

Since one of the few wedding responsibilities I had was planning the honeymoon I was looking for potential ideas in my spare time. I knew we would have to break the honeymoon into two parts because Rachel wanted to get the baby christened while Rebecca and Jon were in town. We needed to be in Forks on Saturday afternoon, so that meant I would have to plan for one short trip of three nights; then we could do something for another seven to ten days. I knew I wanted to get us out of Seattle for the first part, but I didn't want to go too far. I had looked at a ranch in Wyoming, a resort in Hood River, Oregon and a Lodge and Spa in Snoqualmie, Washington. I knew Nessie would probably need to rest the day after the wedding. So I needed to keep that in mind as I looked for a place to visit. I wanted her to be somewhere relaxing where we had options to visit area attractions, but no pressure to take in everything. I was thinking of bringing her on a cruise for the second part of the honeymoon.

Nessie came to me in mid March to ask if I wanted to register for gifts. I honestly had no idea what she was talking about. Confused I asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well to make gift giving easier for people you can register for what you want at stores."

"Don't I already own most of the things we need for our household?"

Nessie looked exasperated, "Yes, but my family would like us to at least pick out a china pattern, silverware, and stemware. So they can make sure they don't all buy mismatched items."

"Do we have to pick anything other than that? I don't want my family and friends to feel they need to buy us any of those sorts of things or really anything," I was horrified as I imagined my great Aunt Tess spending half of her limited retirement income on a crystal gravy boat.

"No, this is just Aunt Esme's request. We could just pick those three things and if we decide on something else then we could add it."

"So we are just going to tell your family?" She nodded. I continued my questions, "How do people find out about what we want?"

"Alice and Esme will tell anyone who is interested, where we are registered and the store will give them a list of things we want and what has and hasn't been purchased."

"Well whatever you want, Babe. Just pick what you want and I'll be happy."

"Jake," she giggled, "I actually really want your input on this. This will be our dining ware for our entire marriage. I want you to be happy with the choice. What if I were to pick pink plates with purple flowers on it."

I shuddered. That sounded horrible, but I knew my girl better than that. "You wouldn't, you don't even like all those girly things."

"That isn't the point. The point is that what we pick will be part of our lives for a very long time and I would like to know that we both found a pattern we really love."

"Okay. I'll do this because it's important to you and Esme, but can we include an enclosure with the invites that says something about donating time or money to a charity instead of giving us a gift? I'd rather people not feel the need to give us things that we don't need."

"That sounds good. Do you want to suggest MADD or SADD or both?" She of course knew that I would want to people to donate to Mothers or Students Against Drunk Driving.

"Both and we should mention our parents as the 'in honor of' on the enclosures." She kissed me lightly.

"That's a good idea. I want their names included in the program too. I'll ask Alice to order something with the invites."

Later that week we went to Macy's and looked at what Nessie called china patterns. There were hundreds of choices. I was entirely overwhelmed. Nessie seemed to understand and asked for a clerk to help us. After several hours we had narrowed our options to four possibilities: Mikasa Cocoa Blossom and Lenox Golden Boughs were both white dishes with brown flowers; Waterford Ballet Icing Mocha was white with brown circles; and Noritake Twilight Meadow was brown with black flowers and white around the edge. Honestly, they all looked the same to me, but Nessie insisted there was a difference between the colors Chocolate and Mocha and that there were big differences in the patterns. _Brown is brown. Flowers are flowers. Dishes are dishes. _I held my tongue not wanting to hear more pixie talk about the differences between scroll work and gold edging.

We eliminated the third option because it wasn't dishwasher safe and we probably wouldn't use them. After considering the second option for a while I got rid of it because having gold on the table just seemed crazy. When we were down to two Nessie suggested we look at the silverware while we think over which to choose so we moved on. We chose a plain set from Oneida and looked at them with each set of dishes. Finally we chose the fourth set, and I made Ness promise that with all this hassle it would be used often rather than stored in a closet collecting dust.

I decided I needed to be sure that Quil and Embry knew that when Nessie and I got married they would need to find somewhere else to live. I figured 6 months notice would give them plenty of time to find a new place. They were happy for me and had figured as much when I asked them to be part of the wedding party. During that conversation Quil raised an issue I hadn't considered since my last conversation with Billy.

"Jake, are you planning on going back to the Rez at some point to live?" He asked.

"Eventually."

"You, Seth Clearwater, Sam Uley, and I are the only Quileute's eligible for chief when your father passes away. Right now we are away from La Push so chances are Seth would get the position if we don't make some sort of effort to make the tribe a bigger part of our lives."

"What do you mean? Billy always said I would be the next chief." It was something I had been told since I was a little kid.

"Gramps explained to me that technically you are the first in line, then me, then Seth, and then Sam since we are the living male descendants of Taha Aki. Gramps was a bit concerned that since you and I are in Seattle and not in La Push that the tribe would take a vote of no confidence in us since we aren't around to participate in tribal activities which would leave it in Seth or Sam's hands. I know you don't get along with Uncle Joe and Aunt Becky, but they could really either make your chances sink or swim if they are still around when the time comes."

"Lord if they outlive Billy that would just be God laughing at us all. They are just evil." I felt myself getting really pissed at the idea of those bastards living longer than Billy.

"I know Gramps, never liked them either, but blood is blood." Quil chuckled trying to defuse my wrath. "They may be nasty people, but they are well connected politically and you need to either be friendly with them or make your own political connections so you won't fail a vote before the tribe. Gramps really wants it to pass to you. He says you are the best man for the job, but he is worried about his little brother and the impact of what will happen if he gets his council seat before you're eligible for chief. Gramps is old he isn't going to live much longer."

"Well I am not going to bury the hatchet with the old bastard. Billy tried to convince me to talk to them too," I barked. "You think old Quil said something to him about it?" Even if his intentions were goof I did not like the idea of old Quil and Billy talking like that about me and my business.

"I think they are both politically savvy and if they both mentioned it recently then chances are Uncle Joe is doing something to damage your chances at becoming chief. Be careful, man." I could see that Quil was just trying to help so I took a deep breath to try and calm down.

"Well, I'm not even sure I want the position right now. Some stuff happened with Billy and I last month that makes me question how I feel about being chief at all," I hoped Quil would drop it.

"Yeah, what was that?" He asked. Apparently, he was not dropping it.

"Not talking about that. I just know that my mother would want me to do right by our people and step up to the plate." I kept reminding myself that my mother would want me to do this.

"Well then you better start going to La Push more often and getting Nessie involved too, so people can see she wants to honor the traditions even if she isn't Quileute."

"I'm not sure I want Nessie coming to La Push with me right now."

"Why not?"

"I'd just rather she not be subjected to anyone's judgment." I was emphatic that Nessie not be exposed to any prejudice and after the way Billy had behaved I was a bit gun shy.

"Dude, your wife honoring the traditions and learning our ways is critical to your place in the tribe. Have you talked with her about the traditions and life on the Rez? Does she even know you could be named chief one day and then you to would have to live on the Rez?"

"It never came up. I know she will do whatever she needs to to respect our heritage."

"Well, Jake I think you need to talk to Nessie about this. Let me know what you plan to do, because I may consider going back to the Rez if you aren't going to go after chief. I don't know Seth that well and Sam is an idiot so I'd rather it be one of the two of us and if I need to move back there then I'd like to know before I sign a new lease in Seattle," reasonably explained.

"Sure, sure." I was impatient to wrap up this conversation and run, so I could clear my head.

That Friday when Ness came over I asked her to go toe to toe after dinner. Once we were seated in the kitchen I brought up the issue I'd been worried about for a couple days.

"Nessie, I have some things I need to talk to you about before we get married."

"Okay, Jake." She seemed concerned.

"Everything's fine, Babe. I just need to tell you about some Quileute stuff before we get married," I rushed to reassure her.

"Okay." She relaxed a bit. I took her hands in mine.

"How much do you know about my tribe? Has Bella told you much? Or when you hung out with Seth Clearwater did he tell you anything about the tribe?"

"No, I only know what you have told me."

"So you don't know that Billy is the chief of the Quileute Nation."

"No, I never knew that. Does that mean you will be chief some day?" She asked as she seemed to be considering what it meant. Her forehead was wrinkled like she was thinking deep thoughts.

"Most likely, that is what we need to talk about. Right now there is some worry that since I don't visit often that I'm not right for the position. There are four people who will be eligible when the time comes and I need to know what you want. I'm first in line, but the tribe can take a vote of no confidence if they think I won't respect our heritage or traditions. As my wife, there will also be obligations that you will be expected to comply with. I don't want you to have to do anything you don't want to so I need to know before the wedding how you feel about this stuff." I needed her to understand the obligations, but I also needed her to know it was really her choice. I would be hers first and forever. I would be honored to serve my people, but not at the cost of my Nessie. She would always be my priority. I loved her and would protect her from anything.

"I'll do whatever you want, Jake. This is your tribe and your heritage, of course I want to be part of that and I want our children to know their heritage as well," she hurried to promise me.

"I don't want you to feel any pressure." There was no way I was letting my girl feel that she had to do this or anything else.

"I don't. I would be happy to do whatever was needed."

"I'm worried about small minded people judging you though. I don't want you to be hurt by anyone."

"There are always going to be people judging us, Jake. It's human nature to pass judgment. Look at the lady from the church. She has seen us in Mass for the last three and a half years together, but she still thought us getting married was inappropriate at my age and now she wants me to help lead the youth group next year. Anyone who takes the time to get to know us can't help but see who we are inside; so don't worry about judgment we can win anyone over."

"I suppose you're right, but these people might not take the time to get to know you at all because you aren't a member of the tribe." I needed her to know what she was facing.

"Well, I only care what you think and you obviously love me for who I am, not for my ancestry. Just like I love you for you, not because you will be the Quileute chief one day." She leaned in and kissed me softly.

"So it won't bother you that people are judging you?"

"Well it will bother me, but I love you and I want you to be everything and do everything you are meant to. I can deal with the rest. I would rather be a little irritated at other people than feel like I was holding you back."

This was what I was afraid of, I didn't want her to sacrifice herself for me. "Sweetheart you wouldn't be holding me back. I don't want to expose you to that if I don't have to. I love you and I can be perfectly happy as a business owner and your husband; I don't need to be chief."

"Would the others do as good a job as you?" She teased me gently, smiling up with admiration in her eyes. It was as if she could see me as something more than I was. She could see the potential inside of me.

"Well Quil is the next in line and he's in a similar position, then it's Seth Clearwater and Sam Uley. I don't know Seth very well, but his family is a good family and they raised him right. Sam is a different story he got real fucked up by his Dad being a deadbeat and a womanizer. He wouldn't do well in the position. The power would go to his head and he would not be good for the tribe. He does, however, respect the traditions and attend all functions. His wife Emily is well respected in the community and a total sweetheart. I'm not quite sure how he landed her when he's such a jerk."

"Sounds like you really have a problem with this Sam guy?"

"Well he went to school with the twins and Leah, so I know his whole history. He left Leah for her cousin in the middle of their engagement. Emily wanted nothing to do with him because of what he did to Leah. He practically stalked the girl for a year. Then she got terribly injured by a bear and he stuck by her side and she just sort of fell for him. It always seemed unhealthy to Becks and Raych, but Emily loves the jerk. I just don't trust him."

"Seth is a nice boy or at least he was when we were in middle school, but I don't think he would be as good at the job as you would be. And Quil is Quil; not much I can say about him. I think you are the best man for the job, Jacob. I want you to do it."

"Well then that means we'll have to visit La Push more often and after we're married you'll need to become an honorary member of the tribe. That means you will have to have a sponsor from the Council of Elders and you'll need to learn our history, customs, and language. It will probably take a year or two of visits before you'll be offered membership. I'm inviting old Quil Ateara and Sue Clearwater to the wedding and next time we visit La Push we should talk to them because they are the Elders who could sponsor you."

"And this is difficult because it's so hard to visit La Push." She said sarcastically. Then added seriously, "Come on, Jake you know how much I love visiting La Push."

"Well it would also mean that once you are done with school we should really live in La Push at least part of the year and once I became chief we would have to live there year round. Are you okay with that?"

"Of course Jacob. I kind of figured we wouldn't live in Seattle forever. I really would rather raise our kids in a small community than a big city."

"You are so amazing."

"Well didn't you want our children to grow up close to Billy, Aunt Esme, Uncle Carl, and Rachel, too?"

"Sure, sure." I decided to ignore the comment about Billy. I wasn't ready to tell her that Billy wouldn't know our kids even if we lived part of the year in La Push and he would probably be dead before we moved there permanently.

I got up and pulled her into a hug. "I love you, Nessie." I started leading her to the living room to cuddle up.

"I love you too, Jake." I sat down and pulled her into my lap.

April

I was very busy at work since I managed the books and tax time was at hand. I spent almost all of my time at the shop on accounting and auditing – I only managed to get under a hood once a day for a couple hours. I don't mind doing the books, but I really love working on engines. So, I was a little short that week when Nessie came over on Friday night.

I was working on my third beer of the night by the time she walked in. She knew as soon as she saw the empty cans in front of me that something was wrong. She came over and rubbed my shoulders. "Hey, Jake," she said softly.

"Ness." I said simply as I took another swig off the cold bitter vitamin R that Quil kept in the fridge.

"How you doing today, Jake?" she asked gently.

"Burnt out." I huffed as I relaxed against her tiny hands working on my shoulders. I wanted to just fuck the living daylights out of her to get rid of my frustration, but that was a horrible idea. We'd made promises and I needed to remember that. I knew if I kept drinking I'd do something bad. "Fucking toss this shit out!" I slammed the can down on the table as I realized that the beer wasn't helping me and could make me dangerous to Nessie. She grabbed the can and dumped it and then tossed all three cans in the recycling bin.

She came back and straddled my lap. She was facing me with her arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close. "What's wrong, my Jacob?" She asked hesitantly.

I leaned in and nuzzled her neck. "I swear I need a better fucking filing system for our receipts."

"I thought you handled all the money yourself." She said softly as she massaged the knots out of my neck.

"I do." I admitted, pissed that I had caused my own frustration and she was just trying to make me feel better. "Apparently I file things in awful places. It's a fucking nightmare reconciling all that shit."

"Oh." She kept rubbing my neck. I saw her worrying her lip between her teeth. I could tell she had something to say, but was worried about my mood.

"Sorry – I'm being such a bear tonight. How are you?"

"Fine," she said too quickly.

"No, you aren't," I snapped harshly. I hated it when Nessie lied to me. "Tell me what's wrong," I commanded sternly.

"It's stupid." She blushed.

I softened my attitude a bit. I kissed her neck. "Can I be the judge of that?"

"It's just I want to go to prom and the girls have started planning and advertising it and I realized that because you're so much older I can't go," she stated sadly.

"You should go," I encouraged her gently. I didn't want her missing out on things because she was with me.

"I'm not going without _you_." She was emphatic.

"I want you to go," I said softly.

"Well, I don't know what to do about it then," she said sadly.

I tightened my grip on her waist. "Aren't you allowed to go with any guy up to twenty-two years old?" I knew the school rules pretty well, Bella and I had read the handbook cover to cover before Nessie enrolled.

"Yeah, but you're twenty-four they aren't going to let you go with me?"

"I'll give the Headmaster a call on Monday. Surely they'll make an exception for an engaged couple."

"I don't know..." Her face was disappointed. "I already asked the Assistant Headmistress and she said that even though we were engaged rules were rules."

I had to think of something. Nessie shouldn't have to miss out on prom because she was with me. "That woman you had to meet with really liked you right? We have to see her in two days for our class maybe we can ask her to intercede."

She smiled softly. "She really likes _us_, not just me. She even suspended my meetings because of how much she likes us." Then her brow wrinkled in hopelessness. "I just don't know if it will make a difference."

I had to give her some hope. I wouldn't get a chance to fix this until Monday, but I wanted her to know I would do everything I could to make her happy. "Ness, we attend Mass at the Cathedral. She's in charge of religious education for the entire diocese not just our parish and the Monseigneur knows us personally because of how unique we are as parishioners. I think we can pull some strings with the Headmaster and Assistant Headmistress. I think that if we've been asked to assist with the ministries next year then we can get an exception made."

I saw her face light up with hope, but then it disappeared as quickly as it came on. "I just don't know if I want to bother anyone about this," she said hesitantly.

"It's part of your high school experience and _I'll_ do the bothering. I don't want you to worry about it." I would always take care of my girl.

"I just don't want everyone to know that I had an exception made for me." She hated being seen as different.

"Ness, these people already know about you and have made exceptions in the past for you."

"What do you mean?" _Oh right, we never told her about the meeting with the Monseigneur before she enrolled at Forest Ridge._

"Bella and I had to go through a..." _What was the phrase? Morality something with a 't'... turpentine... nope truth... turning... 'tur' something... moral turpitude... that's it! _"Moral turpitude interview when you entered Forest Ridge."

"What? Why didn't I ever know about that?" She was shocked and curious.

I replied sheepishly, "Well... when you applied for Catholic scholarships without any Catholic relatives they wanted to be sure you were actually Catholic and had someone as a religious sponsor who was in charge of ensuring you attended Masses and remained Catholic. I took that responsibility. They were also concerned that Bella and I were living together so we had to discuss that as well."

"Seriously?" Her eyes were wide with shock. "How did I ever get the scholarships under those circumstances?"

"I can be quite persuasive when I need to be." I needed to convince her I could do this for her. I wanted her to believe in me. "Plus we all complied with the entire agreement with the exception of the DVD incident, but that wasn't Bella or my fault and the church didn't need to know about that." I chuckled as her face reddened.

"I'm still sorry about that," she said sheepishly, "but how did that violate the agreement?"

"Bella and I promised to keep our sex life in the bedroom and not flaunt it in your face."

"Well, it's not like you guys flaunted it, more like I found it and explored it on my own."

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." I chuckled softly, then added reassuringly, "Besides, the point is moot now. Do you mind if I handle the prom situation? I'll be delicate, but I think I may have better luck than you did. Even though you wear my ring the school has never had a formal confirmation of our engagement and I know if I hit a brick wall I can still pull strings." I really wanted to do this for her. I needed to take care of her.

"Okay you can try, but just don't take it too far. I would rather not spotlight our relationship if it isn't absolutely necessary."

"I'll take care of it," I promised.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now what do you want to do tonight?"

"Hmm... I could think of a few things." She said seductively. I followed her to the bedroom where she turned on music and had me sit down. She started stripping to the beat of the music she was still wearing her school uniform, since she came over right after she finished track practice. Damn she was so sexy. She slowly unbuttoned her white blouse and dropped it off her shoulders revealing a white lace bra that I could see the pink of her nipples through. She danced like that for a short time and then she unbuttoned her skirt and slid it off with her ass facing me. She was wearing white lace boy shorts.

She came over to me and started lap dancing. Her movements exuded sensuality. I set my hands on either side of her waist while she danced and started moving her closer to me. When she was undulating against my chest I wrapped my arms around her back and unclasped her bra. She leaned back and I removed her bra and held her in my lap by her hips. I was so turned on by her graceful flowing movements. She rose back up and I caught her right nipple in my mouth and sucked in.

She moaned, "Oh, Jacob." She then caught my ear between her teeth and nibbled. "Jacob, may I _thank_ you for all your support." She rubbed her core against my hard cock.

"I don't think I could refuse you anything right now, Baby," I replied huskily.

"Then don't." She started to snake her way down my body, moving with the music. Her hands moved to my jeans, she undid the zipper and worked my dick out of my boxers with her soft little hands. Everything she did made me want her that much more. I would never get enough of this woman.

She took me inside her hot wet mouth and licked and sucked until I was in sheer ecstasy. I could feel myself getting ready to cum and she just sucked harder. Her wet lips moving up and down on my pulsing member while her tongue stroked me. I finally exploded into her sweet mouth and she swallowed every drop. I asked her if I could return the favor, but she just wanted me to take the time and relax. She said she was content just having made me orgasm.

We traded. Some days it was all about her, other days me, and the best days were days when we could explore each other and bring each other to climax over and over. I loved her and understood that we weren't a fifty-fifty couple. We were a hundred – hundred couple. Each of us gave our whole selves to the other and accepted that there were days each others' needs came first.

I was in a substantially better mood the next morning. She really was amazing in the bedroom for someone with no experience. I would have to remember to thank Bella sometime for mitigating the damage I did with my lessons.

On Monday, I called the Headmaster to discuss the special circumstances for Prom. He said he would need a letter from the facilitator of our classes for engaged couples to prove that we were sincere in our desire to get married. Once he got that in his files he would make an exception to the rules, but he needed documentation to prevent other students from trying to argue that if an exception was made for Nessie an exception should be made for everyone. Bella was glad I managed to handle it without her having to put in a call. Prom would be at the beginning of June so we had plenty of time.

RPOV

Monday, April 14th

Uncle Carl came to Seattle to brief Bella and I on the financial statuses of our trusts and to have us sign all our tax documents. Bella's was valued at just about $1.5 million and mine was valued at just about $6 million. Currently, I could draw out interest which was between four and ten per year. When I turned twenty-five I would have complete control over the account, but if I wished he would continue to manage it like he managed Bella's trust. He took care of all her investing, but she maintained ownership and control. He then raised a concern about my wedding, "May, have you considered a prenuptial agreement?"

"Why would I need a prenup?" I asked, a little surprised and hurt that he would even suggest it.

"If your marriage ends in divorce it protects your assets."

"My marriage won't end in divorce and if it does then I am fine with Jacob having half of my assets," I stated emphatically.

"That would also entitle you to half of everything he owns including his share of Black Rose."

"Oh – maybe he would want one to protect his business. I know I don't, but maybe I should suggest it to him," Uncle Carl was really giving me something to think about.

"Tell you what I'll do – I'll make the suggestion to him and if he is interested in one to protect himself then I'll have him let you know, if not then we won't worry about it."

I felt much better, it would sound so much better coming from an impartial person. Now I didn't need to worry that Jake would think I didn't trust him. "Thank you so much. I'd really appreciate it if you would do that. I wouldn't want him to think I wanted one."

"It's really no trouble at all."

"Uncle Carl, while you're here can I talk to you about something else?"

"Anything, May."

"I am planning on buying some gifts for the wedding. Please just approve any thing you see come up on my credit card statement."

"That's fine, May."

"Thank you, I'll let you know when I pick the gifts and thank you so much for paying for the wedding."

"Your welcome. Renee and Phil would've done the same for Emmett and Alice if something had happened to Esme and I."

JPOV

Carlisle let me know late that night that Nessie had no more interest in a prenup than I did. I was surprised he called since I had thought that we were just going to let it go if she didn't want one. He explained that he didn't want me thinking about it anymore since he knew I had a tendency to dwell on things.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

I finally finished the taxes just before lunch on tax day. _ Note to self: use system to file receipts this year; do not randomly throw them in the most convenient folder on hand_. I had Rose sign the papers and then handed Quil the envelope and told him to mail it on his way to his next house call. Rose and I took our lunch break.

"I haven't wanted to bother you while you were working on the books, but how's everything going, Jake?" Rose asked as we ate our sandwiches in the office.

"Things are going fairly well. I had to convince the headmaster of Nessie's school to let me take her to prom yesterday, but he agreed."

"Well, that will be good practice for the wedding."

"Huh?" I wasn't sure what she meant.

"Well I've seen you dance and just about all you know is the standard box step."

_Thank God; She was talking about dancing. I never knew when Rose was going to bring up something entirely inappropriate._ I rolled my eyes. "I know more than that. Bella and I used to go clubbing all the time."

"Clubbing is not ballroom dancing, Jake." She laughed sardonically. "You two are going to be the center of attention at your wedding and you should know basic dance steps other than a slow waltz and the bump and grind. Nothing is worse than watching the bride and groom grinding to hip hop music as the first dance." I chuckled at the image.

"No – that wouldn't be very classy. Problem is the whole wedding's a surprise. How do I prepare for the first dance if I have no idea what it will be. I suppose I could take dance lessons and just learn all the steps and then wing it."

"Maybe Whit," she referred to Jazz by his boyhood nickname, "and I should teach you guys separately."

"Jazz knows how to dance well enough to give lessons?" I asked incredulously.

"Sure does. Mom was a professional dancer when she met Dad and then she ran a studio until she retired. She had each of us dancing before we were out of diapers and much to Whit's displeasure made us continue with advanced lessons and competitions until we went to college. I loved it, but Whit hated it. He was a great dancer and it got him laid a lot in high school, but he didn't like telling his friends that his after school job was teaching dance lessons at mom's studio." The image of Jasper teaching dance as a teenager was surreal.

"How good is he?" I asked not really sure I wanted to know.

"He and his partner, Maria, were Northeast Champions in smooth ballroom his Junior and Senior years in High School and third ranked at Nationals his Senior year." My mouth fell open. "Jake close your mouth – I don't need to see your meal." she chuckled. I closed my mouth and swallowed.

"Sorry," I muttered. "I was just shocked."

"Yeah – you wouldn't think of Whit that way if you didn't know. I think that's why he went into Psych to recover from the damage mom did by making him dance," she giggled.

"Do you really think he would be okay with giving Ness lessons? I wouldn't want him to be reminded of something he hated."

"He didn't hate it; he just hated the pressure and the fact that he couldn't do normal boy activities like basketball because of dance. I don't think he would mind, but I'll give him a call now to ask." She whipped her phone out, not bothering to wait for my answer.

"Hey Whit... Yeah Jake got them done. We just sent Quil to the post office..." she chuckled, "anyway I need to talk to you about an idea I just had. Would you mind giving May dance lessons?... Okay. I'll let Jake know..." She rolled her eyes and took a swig of her water. "Of course, I told him... Whit, it's nothing to be embarrassed about..." She took a deep breath. "He's one of our best friends, it's not like his opinion of you will change because he knows you used to dance... Okay, I'll tell him not to discuss it with the other guys... yeah I know, but its not like you have any secrets from the eight of us..." She laughed loudly, "you can't be serious, Whit? Of course Emmett knows – he's my husband... Jasper Bradley Whitlock!" She snapped, "I do not keep secrets from my husband!" She paused, "Okay, but you realize if you told Alice then Bella knows and if Bella knows then Edward knows, which means my dear brother that May is the only one in the group who doesn't know about your competitive dance history..." She laughed, "exactly my point, Whit... Yeah I'll see you tomorrow for dinner... Love you too. Bye."

She hung up her phone and turned back to me, "Don't razz Whit about his dancing history and he'll give her lessons. Oh – and don't talk to the other guys about it even though they all know." She shook her head.

"Okay and thanks. So when do you want to do lessons?"

"Lunch break sound good? We can do thirty minutes each day. When we get to some of the wider routines we may have to go out back, but I can make the garage work for almost anything. I'll have Whit call May and let her know so they can make their own schedule."

"Sure, sure." We finished our lunches and she gave me my first lesson.

**Coming up:**

**He kissed further down my stomach until he was just above my navel. He slowly worked his way back up to my breasts. Kissing along my ribs to the sides of my breasts. I moaned again. He was teasing me. "What do you need, Nessie?"**

**"You..." I answered in a daze.**

**"What do you need from me?" He murmured against my skin as he continued to approach my breasts but didn't make contact.**

**"I... need... you... to stop... teasing... me..." I panted out.**

**"Mmmm... how exactly am I teasing you?" He licked just above my breasts.**

**"You're teasing my breasts..."**

**"Your _what_?" He asked with sharp emphasis.**

_**Oh right, I have to talk dirty tonight.**_

Reviewers get previews. If I get 10 reviews for this chapter I'll put out the next one this weekend. If not it'll be next week. Give me some love. I even take smiley faces.


	13. Teasing

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on/explore BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes RARE Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship.**

Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s, BDSM, or DD lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual.

**Special thanks to my awesome beta Sawny94. This story is better because of your help. If you enjoy my story please check Sawny94 out she was one of my inspirations. You're awesome.**

I am still seeking a grammar nut if you want to help me out. My first chapter got rejected on Twilighted because of punctuation; :-( I was so sad. I think they may be tougher on stories with controversial content.

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS! **

Citrus fruit at the end of chapter.

**Twitter me (at)kmddeprez1122**

Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while.

~*Break*~

_I'm on fire; let your lips caress me.  
My desire is that you possess me.  
Don't be afraid for love to come to you.  
My lover, come to me; lover, come to me,  
Come to me. _

_Come To Me,_ Johnny Mathis

Chapter 13: Teasing

JPOV

Since she had done such a great job organizing the wedding, Nessie had some time off from her Sundays with Alice, With our Sundays back we decided to go to La Push and Forks for the weekend. We would stay at Carlisle and Esme's , but take the entire day Saturday and part of Sunday to bring Nessie around to meet most of the people who had a hand in raising me. We went to Rachel's house first at noon.

Rachel opened the door, "Jake!" She hugged me happily. Her pregnancy was showing prominently now. "I'm so glad you guys came to spend the day. I've been dying to meet Nessie." She turned to my fiance and said, "So – you're the girl who won my little brother's heart." She encircled Ness in a firm hug. "Well I'm Rachel and my husband is inside watching TV."

Ness smiled warmly, "It's so nice to meet you, finally. We always missed each other when I visited La Push in the past, but I've heard a lot about you from Jake."

"Don't believe any of it," Raych teased.

"All good thing," Ness replied happily.

Suddenly noticing the pouring rain Rachel exclaimed, "I'm sorry! I'm being a bad hostess and my husband will get upset if I get too wet being pregnant and all. Let's get out of the rain." She ushered us into their one story home. "Paul," she called, "Jake and his fiance are here."

"'Kay I'll be out as soon as this inning's over... SON OF A BITCH!" He hollered and then walked immediately out of the living room. "Sorry 'bout the yelling. Mariners just struck out."

"Who're they up against?" I asked.

"Cardinals, _in Baltimore._ That's why it's on so _fucking_ early." He replied as he rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Paul, language!" Raych said as she swatted his head.

"Sorry, Hun, I'll try to tone it down in front of company," he said apologetically. My sister had Paul trained like a puppy.

"Paul this is Nessie. Nessie this is Paul." Paul held out his hand.

Nessie shook it and said, "You can call me May. Only Jake calls me Nessie, I'll answer to either, but it's kind of our special thing."

"May it is then," Paul replied, "I'm the only one who calls Rachel 'Sunshine,' so I understand."

"Sunshine?" I laughed loudly. _What a pussy!_

"Yeah," he ran his fingers through his hair and smiled sheepishly. "Sunshine like a ray of sun and Ray is short for Rachel or Raych." I understood and had to laugh; Raych had Paul by the gonads.

"Well, I'm going to get lunch ready," Rachel said.

"Would you like any help?" Nessie volunteered.

"Sure," Rachel said as she led Nessie into the kitchen. I headed into the living room to watch the game with Paul.

Paul began busting my balls, "So – what's Nessie stand for anyway? She sure doesn't remind me of a monster."

"It's short for her full name." I chuckled, but didn't give him more information.

"C'mon, Jake," he slugged me in the shoulder, "you can give me more than that."

"I can," I responded simply and slugged him back.

"Than what is her full name?" I knew short answers made Paul crazy. He moved up to attempt a headlock.

"Renesmee," I answered as I twisted away from him and wrestled him to the ground.

"BOYS!" Rachel screamed, "No wrestling in the house! Take it outside." I looked up and saw Rachel with a furious scowl and Nessie laughing.

"I thought they only did that when there weren't women in the house." Nessie asked Rachel as I let Paul up and we settled onto the couch. _How did Nessie know what we did when she wasn't around?_

"Not these two. They're incorrigible," Rachel replied.

"Oh. The other girls said it was only an issue when all the girls were out." _Other girls?_

My curiosity got the better of me and they were moving out of my hearing range. I got up and followed them into the kitchen quietly. "Which girls?" Rachel asked.

"Bella, Alice, and Rose, Emmett's wife," Nessie replied.

"Maybe their men aren't as bad as ours are," Rachel answered with a laugh.

"No, they do the same, but the girls told me only when they aren't around. They said the worst is when Jake and Emmett are together. I guess they can't control themselves without proper supervision." She giggled.

Wanting to get a little more info I refrained from commenting. Then I heard Rachel reply, "Well Em and Jake are nothing compared to when you get Paul, Jared, Jake, Quil, or Embry in the same room – they really can't be stopped. Kim and I have to sit between Jared and Paul when we go anywhere to just maintain some sense of civility."

Ness asked, "Who are Jared and Kim."

"Our best friends we spend a lot of time together and the boys are absolute hellions even with us supervising."

Nessie turned to me. _She knew I was there the whole time, the little sneak._ "Jake, how is it that you live with Embry and Quil and keep the house so well maintained?"

Obviously teasing me I decided not to take her bait. "Well it was bad for the first couple weeks," I began, "then the novelty wore off and we just didn't bother horsing around anymore. It was a real pain in the ass to keep the house presentable for the first few weeks. After we stopped wrestling in the house it was easier to live together."

"So are you saying the only way to get Paul and Jared to behave when they are together is to have Kim and Jared move in here?" Rachel asked sarcastically.

"Hey! I don't know how you can get Paul to behave – he's defective." I joked.

"Hey! I heard that!" Paul called and then came running at me to tackle me until he saw Rachel's face and stopped abruptly. "Sorry, Sunshine," he said apologetically, "I'll take it outside next time." I chuckled at the exchange. _Definitely trained like a little puppy._ She kissed him lightly and whispered something in his ear. He smiled broadly and headed back to the living room. I followed not wanting to know what she had said.

A while later the girls brought us hot dogs and macaroni and cheese.

I dug in quickly. "Mmmm..." I moaned at the taste of the best Mac-n-cheese around. "Mom's recipe, I just can't do this one like you can Raych." Rachel and Nessie looked at each other and giggled hysterically. "What?" I asked confused at their private joke.

"Nessie cooked it, I walked her through how to make it," Rachel answered.

"But – it tastes just like Mom's," I said and Nessie beamed. "You taught me to make it too and mine never tastes this good." It frustrated the hell out of me that I had spent years trying to make it and could never get it perfect.

"Well... I never gave you the secret ingredient. Only the Black women may know the secret ingredients of Mom and Nana's signature dishes. Mom made us promise to never tell the men. Otherwise, why would you keep us around?" Rachel chuckled.

"Nessie, you'll tell me right?" I put on puppy dog eyes.

She laughed at my expression, "No, your sister made me vow never to tell anyone except another woman in the family."

"Well – now I have to marry you," I joked.

"It's part of my evil plan. Marry me or you will never have your Mom's Mac and Cheese again," she laughed and pretended to twirl a mustache like an old movie villain.

Playing along I exclaimed, "Oh! I couldn't live without Mom's Mac and Cheese!" I clutched at my heart dramatically.

"Next time you come, I'll teach her to make Nana's cupcakes," Rachel said.

"You mean the kind Mom always kept in the fridge?"

"Exactly that kind, Jake."

"Now we need to come back really soon, Babe. I want refrigerator cupcakes." I smiled happily.

"Anything you want, Jake," Ness replied, "we can come next weekend if you want." I nodded and smiled.

When the game was over, I brought Nessie over to Quil's grandparents house. I introduced everyone, "Nessie, this is my great uncle Quil and great aunt Rachel Ateara, they are also Quil's grandparents. Uncle Quil and Aunt Ray this is my fiance Renesmee Dwyer, you can call her Nessie or May she'll answer to both." Everyone shook hands.

"Let's stick to Nessie," Quil said, "May and Ray sound too similar for old ears and it'll help keep the confusion down."

"Sounds like a good plan," Nessie replied. "It's very nice to meet you both, Mr. and Mrs. Ateara."

"It's nice to meet you and see you both here in La Push." Quil said. We hung out and they got to know each other then Quil pulled me aside and said, "Jacob, may I speak to you privately about tribal business. The girls can amuse themselves for a few minutes." I nodded and he led me to the porch where we both took a seat.

Due to the serious nature of the discussion we quickly got down to business and spoke only in Quileute. Old Quil said, "Quil explained to me that you intend to become chief when your father passes. So, we need to talk Jacob."

"Yes, sir," I answered.

"It is my understanding that you and your father are not on good terms at this time. Do you expect to resolve that anytime soon?"

"It _is_ resolved, sir. Billy and I are not speaking and won't be speaking again," I insisted.

His wise eyes looked troubled, "Can you tell me why that is, Jacob?"

"No. I'm sorry, sir. That matter is personal – if you want to know what happened then ask Billy."

"Can you at least tell me does it have anything to do with your fiance?"

"Yes, sir, it does," I answered reluctantly. I wouldn't lie to him. I respected him too much to lie. "But, I don't want her to know what happened and I promised her I would discuss it with her before I told anyone else."

"So it would be safe to assume your father won't be her sponsor if she is invited into the tribe?"

"That would be correct, sir."

"Then Sue and I will need to get to know her and decide if one of us will sponsor her?"

"I hope so, sir."

"You are aware that she will have to attend a gathering?" _Oh shit. _ My face fell. "Since you're on bad terms with your father it may be awkward since he leads all gatherings."

"Is there any other option, sir?" _Fuck! _I knew there wasn't, but I hoped he might know some way around a gathering. It would be incredibly awkward.

"No son," he replied quietly, "she must learn the stories in order to become Quileute. We only share the stories with adults in front of the bonfire at a gathering on First Beach."

"I vowed my father would never know her, sir. I don't know how I can fulfill that vow and my obligations to the tribe." I ran my hand down my face in frustration.

"Jacob, this is a complicated situation," old Quil explained. "I can't ask your father to miss a gathering. I have to do what's best for our people." Despite his patient words I could see how this situation troubled the elder.

I slumped down a bit. "I wouldn't ask you or Billy to do that. It would disrespect his place as chief. The issues are personal, not tribal. Nessie and I both want her to be a member of the tribe. She wants to respect our ways and culture. I'm just trying to work this out with the least damage to her. I will_ never_ allow my father to speak to her or know her." I was adamant about this.

"Jacob, the easiest solution would be to bury the hatchet with your father and resolve your issues before she attends a gathering." His eyes were hopeful.

"With all due respect, sir, I don't think that is the appropriate solution. There are some things that can't and won't be forgotten."

"You are so like him." He shook his head and laid a hand on my arm. "I can see that you will not be resolving this anytime soon. You have his determination and will with Sarah's heart to temper it. You will be a strong chief. I will give Nessie a chance to show me her intent. You can put off the gathering for a while, but eventually she will need to sit beside you, across the fire from your father, and listen to him tell the stories with Sue and I."

"After the wedding, sir. She has enough to deal with preparing for the wedding. I don't want to explain to her that she will be in the same space as my father, but that she is not to speak with him. I'll do it after the wedding, but I'd like it to be at a time when she is not stressed." I also had a fear that if I did it before the wedding she would figure it all out. I took a deep breath and revealed my other reason for not telling her. "If I'm forced to discuss what happened between Billy and I before the wedding she may opt not to marry me in hopes of repairing my relationship with Billy."

His face was awed, "She loves you enough to sacrifice her own happiness for yours?" He could already see how much she loved me.

"I have no doubt that she would try, but that would be sacrificing my happiness. I can live without my father. I can't live without Nessie. I won't live without her," I stated, my voice strong and resolved.

Knowing my stubborn nature he moved quickly onto his next concern. "I also assume you're aware of the political situation with my brother?"

"Quil gave me a heads up about your concerns. I'll be here more often. Please do not discuss the situation with my father and I outside of the three of us. My father tried to get me to bury the hatchet with your brother and sister-in-law, but the truth is that will _never_ happen. It is bad enough the entire tribe knows that my sisters and I don't speak to them, at least people are aware of the reasons and respect Billy enough not to judge us for our choices. I do not believe people would be as forgiving if they learned that my father and I are not speaking and I won't share the reasons."

"Would it be seen as his fault or yours, Jacob?" His eyes were sincere and I could see him trying to figure out how bad this was.

"Different people would see it differently, the reasonable people would be on my side, but some people would be on his. In either case, I won't share the cause. Billy is well respected and the mistakes he makes within his family should not result in a loss of respect in the tribes eyes. I do not want the tribe to be divided over a family dispute."

"You still have a great deal of respect for him?"

"He is worthy of my respect. I still love him and admire him; I just can't take a risk with Nessie."

"Shouldn't it be her risk to take, Jacob?" He asked gently.

"No. It is my job to protect her. I will not allow her to be in my father's presence."

"Is whatever he did that unforgivable?"

I laughed sadly, "Quil, I have already forgiven him, but he had his chance to make this right and he turned it down. I needed to know he respected my choices and I warned him what the consequences would be. He made a choice. Now, he and I both live with the consequences. I love him and I understand, but I needed him to offer me a sacrifice for his actions. I requested a heavy price, and he chose not to pay it. We both knew the price of his decision and we both accepted the reality of the situation. I can't turn back the clock and ask for something else as retribution for his actions." It hurt to discuss this, but I wanted Quil to understand.

I took a deep breath and then continued, "Sir, if you were judging a crime and the defendant was given an opportunity to make restitution or live with a consequence that was already named and the defendant chose that consequence, would you go back and lower the restitution in order to not have to administer the punishment?"

"No, I wouldn't because no one would respect my judgments in the future. I may as well give up judging crimes because my word would be meaningless." Quil understood. _ It's ironic that Billy's lessons about a man always holding to his word would be the reason that I can't go back and attempt to fix this. _

"Now do you see where I stand, sir?"

"Yes, Jacob, I do. It pains me to see this rift though. I wish there was some way I could help you heal this."

"What has been done, has been done. I will live with the consequences, as will Billy. I would not ask anyone else to be involved. We are both resolved on this: me to administer the consequences and him to live with them. We are both strong willed and determined to accept responsibility for our actions. Mine was demanding an extremely high price in my anger and his was causing my wrath and then choosing not to pay the restitution."

With a sigh he said, "I can see now that your decision is necessary. I respect you, Jacob. No one will hear of this situation from me. Just try not to be blatantly obvious about your rift at tribal functions. I will ask your father to respect you as well and not exacerbate the situation. I have no doubt he will want what is best for you and the tribe and will comply with my request."

"Thank you, sir."

"Now, the reason I brought you out here is this tenuous political situation that my brother is manipulating. I realize that a lot of this may never be an issue, but I have to look to the future and help shape the tribal council. I have spent fifty years of my life as an elder and I will not allow my brother to undo the work I have done," his voice was strong with righteous wrath. "I want you to be chief because you're the best person. You need to make an effort to spend time with the following people to solidify your standing: Jacqueline King, Esther Foley, Michael White, and Ron Pullen. If you can ingratiate yourself with those four they will spread your praise far beyond the negative things your grandfather..." I cleared my throat at the term, "I mean my brother will say in order to gain power and my seat on the council. I would ideally like my seat to go to my daughter Ann, but my brother will be vying for it."

"Does he have any real shot at taking the seat in the event of your death?" I needed to know the whole truth about the situation.

"Only if Billy passes before me and Joe pulls a rabbit out of his hat and gets you, Quil, and Seth disqualified from becoming chief. He would have to do this through votes of no confidence, which is why it's essential that you and Quil be seen and heard by the tribe. Sam would become chief. The council members would be Sam and Sue. Sue would vote against him because of the damage he would have done to her son's reputation. Sam would vote for him because he would have orchestrated Sam's placement as chief, resulting in a one to one tie. An Ateara descendant must hold one seat. The choice between Ann and my brother would then be put to a common vote. He will use every favor he has to gain that seat even if it's for a short time. He'll be cut throat in his approach and may very well drive my daughter out of any race with his ruthlessness."

"Wow, you really think he'd do that?"

His sad and weary eyes looked deep into mine. "Jacob, you know exactly how selfish he and Becky are. I have no doubt he will try. I want you boys to make it as difficult as possible for him. Just by showing up today you have begun that process. How often will you be visiting?"

"We'll be back most weekends from now until July. Then Nessie has to get back into heavy wedding planning."

"Okay. Will you be visiting Sue one of these weekends?"

"Tomorrow."

"Alright, that sounds good. When you come, leave Nessie with me or Sue. We need to get to know her out of your influence and you go talk with the folks whose names I gave you earlier. Do you remember them?"

"Jackie King, Mrs. Foley, Mike White, and Mr. Pullen," I answered.

"Good. You get on their good side and we'll be okay."

"Thank you for your advice and willingness to help me, sir."

"That's what family does. Your mother was more than our niece; she was our god-daughter. You are like a grandson to me, Jacob," his voice was full of love, respect, and pride.

"And you have been a grandfather to me, sir."

"I love you, son."

"I love you too, sir."

He chuckled, "You always were the most respectful of the children, but you don't have to call me sir."

"I know, sir. I just have always called you that so calling you something else seems odd."

"Well – Jacob if we're ever on the council together you need to call me Quil."

"I'll work on it then, sir." We headed back inside.

~*Break*~

Nessie and I went back after Mass on Sunday morning to talk to Sue Clearwater. While we were there, Nessie reconnected with Seth. He was eighteen and a senior at Quileute Tribal School. Nessie and Sue got along great, but she spent two hours chatting with Seth about his life and plans for the future. She told him all about her plans to attend SU and he was accepted there as well. He got a four year Air Force ROTC scholarship.

He has one year to try ROTC out and then if it isn't working for him he can withdraw from the program without penalty. He would be honoring all of us by his service and he would be walking out of SU with a degree in aerospace studies and an officer's commission in the Air Force. All in all, he was a pretty good guy. I had never really gotten to know him since he was five years younger than me and the girls were friend's with Leah which was the only reason I ever got to know her.

Sue and Mom had been very good friends, but after she died Sue wasn't as connected with me anymore. She spent time with the girls while they were growing up, mostly because they were so close to Leah, but I was angry after those two years with the Atearas and it took me over a year after we were back in Billy's custody before I could connect with anyone besides my sisters and my father. I was nine when I met Emmett and finally made a friend. After that I quickly became friends with Quil and Embry again. We had been friends as little kids, but when Mom died I disconnected from everyone. Emmett changed my perspective – he was so happy all the time and I couldn't help but learn to be happy with him. Seth reminded me a lot of Emmett, but maybe less of a prankster. I would need to get to know him better.

Nessie agreed to come back and visit Sue and Seth the next week. She would also be visiting old Quil again. I told her I had other things to do during her visits to them and that I would be leaving her with them and I would be meeting with other influential members of the tribe. I knew I was in for a tough road politically, but I wanted to do what was best. It was clear that old Quil's brother was only interested in gaining power and he would use anything he could to make that happen.

I knew Billy was walking a razor wire politically, which is why he was trying to get me to reconcile with old Quil's brother. He was trying to respect his elders who were also his in-laws and in our tribe it is extremely important to respect your in-laws and yet at the same time he was trying to preserve my place in the tribe while I was in Seattle. I just wish he had been honest with me about what he was dealing with – I would have come home more often had I known he was juggling all this for my benefit. Maybe it wasn't all for my benefit because he would have also considered the needs of the tribe. I understood my father's position better, but we had to live with the consequences of our actions. He would be the first person to tell me to stick to my guns.

I didn't know how I would explain the situation to Nessie when it came time for her to attend a gathering, but I knew I'd have to tell her something. She would need to know that she could not speak to Billy. Then she would want to know why I forbid it. It would wait until after we were married. My girl is too selfless; once she figures out the reason for the fight she would try to make me reconcile. She would figure out she was the reason for the fight and would try to fix it. I would not allow her to consider that before she agreed to be mine in every way. I knew I was being selfish by putting it off, but I also knew her well enough to know she would cancel or postpone our wedding in order to try to get me and Billy talking again. We loved each other and our deepest desire was to marry; I _will never_ allow her selflessness to interfere with that goal for either of us.

It will break Nessie's heart when she realizes that she's the reason for the rift between Billy and I. I want to prevent that conversation for as long as possible. It isn't that I wanted to hide from my problems – I just don't want Nessie to be burdened by knowledge of the situation when there is nothing she can do to change it. What is, is. Billy and I both made our choices and we won't take those choices back.

We went back to La Push every weekend until June. Nessie attended my sister's baby shower in May. I used the time to continue to make inroads with tribal leaders.

~*Break*~

RPOV

4th Saturday in May

I was invited to Rachel's baby shower and I would be meeting all of Rachel's friends. Unfortunately, Rebecca was not able to attend since she was planning an extended visit for our wedding and the baby's Christening in September. Rebecca and Jon were planning on staying in Washington for three weeks around the wedding to spend time with Rachel, Paul, Billy, and us. The event was planed by Kim White. She was married to Paul's best friend Jared and other than Rebecca she was Rachel's best friend. I had spent an afternoon that week baking Nana Black's refrigerator cupcakes so we would have them for the shower.

Jake drove us to Forks on Friday evening and we spent a nice evening with Uncle Carl and Aunt Esme. The next morning we headed to Jared and Kim White's house to help set up for the shower. Jake and Jared chatted amicably while I helped Kim get all the food prepared. She was vastly different from Rachel. While Rachel was outspoken and exuberant with everyone, Kim was shy and soft spoken. They kind of remind me of Alice and Bella. Kim was extremely well organized and she said that she had also invited several other women.

The girls all walked to Kim's house so that Rachel wouldn't see any cars. Jake and Jared took off when they started arriving, just before 11:30. Kim was going to call Rachel in a panic just before noon to get her to come help her 'fix the gravy for a community supper that evening.' It was the only pretense that would succeed to get her to show up eight and a half months pregnant. Rachel often had to salvage Kim's gravy so it was the perfect excuse to spring the surprise on her.

At 12:05 Rachel opened the door to the house and walked right in. She was wearing a pink sundress and had tossed a multicolored apron over that to prevent herself from getting dirty while she cooked.

She was greeted by a chorus of, "SURPRISE!"

She started laughing and said, "Kim, you got me this time." She shook her head and took her apron off, "Lord knows, I never would have worn that apron with this dress if I had any idea anyone else would be here."

We laughed and then we proceeded with gift giving and games. Rachel didn't know which sex the baby was going to be she and Paul had decided they wanted to be surprised. Therefore, Rachel received handmade gender neutral gifts galore and I think I may have been the only person to buy a gift – I had knitted a blanket and purchased some clothes.

I got to know the women of the tribe better that day. They were very proud women. They didn't have much, but what they had they gave freely to each other and to their friends. At the end of the day Rachel thanked everyone and we helped her carry her acquisitions home.

~*Break*~

Saturday, June 7, 2014

The day of my Senior Prom dawned bright and sunny. Rose showed up late in the morning at Jake's place to bring me to a nail salon for a manicure and pedicure. She wanted the day to be perfect for me, and since Alice was managing my wedding, my Prom preparation would be in Rose's talented hands. Rose had lots of experience prepping and preening for beauty pageants so she really wanted to do this with me, and we all knew Bella wouldn't be any use helping me get ready.

I got a french manicure and pedicure, but not that horrible acrylic kind that looks unnatural, just white and pink polish on my own nails. Rose brought me out to lunch at a local cafe and then brought me to her place to shower. She did my hair in an elegant updo with baby's breath sprigs twined in among the curls. She did my makeup with a light hand so I just looked a little more polished than normal. I slipped on my tea length red satin 50's style halter dress, matching bolero, black silk stocking set, and red stilettos.

Jacob came to pick me up at Rose's house. He was so incredibly handsome in his black tuxedo with a red tie.

"You are stunning tonight," he said as he tied a corsage of red roses onto my wrist and kissed me softly.

"Thank you."

He opened the door to the car and helped me in. We drove to my home so Bella could take pictures, then we headed out to eat at an Italian bistro downtown. We arrived at the Prom just after eight ready to dance the night away and just enjoy each others' company.

Jake tensed up suddenly at around 9pm.

"What's wrong, Jake?"

"Did you tell any of your friends what happened to you at the New Years Eve Party?" His eyes darkened.

"No. By the time I got back to school I was just so happy we were dating it never crossed my mind to discuss it with anyone."

"Well isn't that your friend Claire?"

I looked over and saw Claire. I couldn't see her partner's face only that he was tall and muscular and had dark brown hair. "Yes." I wasn't sure where he was going with this.

"Unless I'm mistaken, she's dancing with that fucking asshole, Felix." His voice was fierce. It could be Felix – I still hadn't seen his face so I couldn't be sure.

"I can't believe I never told Zee what happened. She would never have set that jerk up with another of our friends if she had known." I said guiltily, as I continued to look at the couple. Finally they turned and I saw Felix's face. "Yes – that is him!"

"Well, should we intercede?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know. I'm worried that if we don't something could happen to Claire."

"Well I don't want to cause a scene, but Prom is a big drinking night and I'm worried he'll pull the same shit with her that he pulled with you, Nessie." My heart melted that Jake was so protective of my friend. He was even more protective of me, though. He took a deep breath and then made a demand, "I don't want you anywhere near him!"

"Don't worry, I don't want to be near him, either," I reassured him. "But, I have to let Claire know what kind of guy he is."

"Is there any way to handle it indirectly? Maybe let Zee know and ask her to get Claire?" He suggested.

"How am I going to let Zee know without Demetri letting Felix know?"

"You could ask her to join you in the bathroom." Jacob suggested. Then he suddenly smiled. "Ness, you still got that pepper spray in your purse?"

"Yeah, but I left my purse in the car."

"Okay – while you're in the bathroom with Zafrina I'll run down to the car and grab the pepper spray just in case you can't get Claire to leave without him at least you can get her some pepper spray. I'll meet you outside the bathroom in ten minutes. Do you think Zee is enough; she may have mixed feelings because of her relationship with Felix's brother?"

"I'll steal Carmen from Eleazar for a few minutes too, and hopefully they can at least get Claire to talk to me about it." He twirled us around until we reached Carmen and Eleazar. "Carmen, I need to talk to you for a few minutes."

"What's up, chichita linda?" She asked, using her nickname for me.

"Privately. I need to get Zee too."

"Okay let's go get her." Jacob released me and Carmen and I went to Zafrina.

"Zee, can you come with us to the powder room?" I asked carefully without glancing at Demetri.

"Sure, muchachas." We headed to the bathroom and I saw Jacob watching over us until we were in the bathroom.

"Zee, Carmen, I need to tell you both about what happened on my date with Felix on New Years Eve." I told them everything that happened that night.

Zafrina hugged me. "Why didn't you tell me, hermanita?" She asked sympathetically.

"I forgot because of how happy I was with Jake. It just wasn't important, but then I saw him here with Claire and I'm worried about her. She might get in a car with him or maybe even go somewhere private with him."

"I'm so sorry I set him up with her. I had no idea he was such a cad. Demetri never treats me that way." She explained.

Carmen interrupted, "Do you want me to go get Claire? She should hear this too, don't you think?"

"Yes," I said. "I don't want ot have to deal with Felix which is why I asked you two in here."

"Well, we always have your back, chicita. I'll go get her now." Carmen said as she flitted out of the room.

I looked into the lobby and saw Jake holding the can of pepper spray I motioned him to the door. He kissed me gently. "You okay, Nessie?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Carmen went for Claire. She'll be back in a minute."

"Okay here's the pepper spray. Do you think she'll listen?" He asked with concern.

"I don't know. I hope so, but at least I'll give her the pepper spray. Just in case."

"I'll feel better when she has it too, even if she doesn't end her date."

"You're so sweet. I love you so much."

"I love you too." He kissed me softly again.

I broke the kiss as Carmen and Claire approached. "I'll be out shortly. They're coming."

"I'll be here."

I held the door for my two friends.

"What's going on?" Claire asked apprehensively as soon as the door to the sitting room closed.

"Claire, I'm so sorry." Zafrina began guiltily. "I had no idea what Felix was like when I set you up with him."

"What are you talking about?" Claire asked.

I told her everything.

Her face went pale when I told her how Felix had acted before. "He's been nothing but a perfect gentleman tonight." Claire explained. "I don't want to ruin my Prom by dumping my date in the middle of the evening."

"I just don't want you to get in a car with him if he starts drinking."

"I won't, May. I promise."

"Will you take my pepper spray just in case he tries to force you to get in a car or go somewhere you don't want to?" I silently pleaded with her to take the spray.

"Uh... Okay... but I don't know how to use it," she said shakily.

"Just press this button and point it at his face. After you've sprayed him run until you are in a safe place and call one of us."

"Sounds easy enough," she replied with a slight edge of sarcasm.

"At the end of the night do you want a ride home? Jake and I can drive you. I'll feel much better knowing I didn't leave you here with him."

"Yeah, I guess that would be good."

Zafrina weighed in, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Or in this case riding home with someone different then you came with is worth a can of pepper spray." We giggled at her joke, relieving some of the tension in the room.

"Okay. He won't try anything while we're at Prom," Claire assured us. "May, I'll find you after the last song. Your boyfriend's the tallest guy in the room you should be easy for me to spot."

"Fiance," I corrected, "and thanks for listening."

"You three are my closest friends – of course I'm going to listen. Thanks for warning me." We all hugged and headed back to the ballroom.

Jake wrapped me up in his arms once I reached him. "You okay?" He asked concerned.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"What's she going to do?"

"She going to enjoy her night and keep dancing with him, but she'll stay in sight and we'll drive her home."

"She's staying with him?" He asked incredulously.

"Well she only gets one Prom and he's being a gentleman for now."

"I see your point. She did take the pepper spray, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm glad we are driving her home. I'll feel better knowing she got home safe."

Jake and I headed back in and danced for the remainder of the night. I didn't see Claire at all while I was dancing. I asked Jake if he had seen her. He said that he was keeping an eye on her and that she hadn't left his line of sight the entire night. Which explained why I couldn't see her – he was leading us to keep her in his peripherals which means my back would be turned to her. It made me feel better. When the time to crown the Prom Queen came Carmen was selected. I was so happy for her. Since it was an all girls school there was no Prom King.

The last dance was announced and Jacob led us so we were dancing next to Claire and Felix. Felix danced them around so that he wouldn't see me. I think Jake's warning from New Years was still fresh in his mind and I think he may have been avoiding even looking in my direction. I giggled a bit.

"What's funny, Ness?" Jake asked as he kept us within ten feet of the other couple.

"I think Felix is avoiding looking in my direction. Every time his sight line comes close to me he snaps his head or his body in the other direction. It looks kind of funny because his dancing flow is getting all messed up."

"That's 'cause he's afraid of looking at you."

"Why would he be afraid of that?"

Jake grinned playfully. "Well – it might have to do with a threat I gave him while you were talking to Claire."

"Oh – so it's you he's afraid of." I smiled proudly. "So what sort of threat did my big strong protector make?"

"That's for me to know and you to wonder about." He smiled down at me. "It's not important. What is important is I told him not to even look in your direction and he better treat Claire like a lady until she is ready to leave with us."

"I love you." I looked into the eyes of my fierce protector.

"I love you too, Nessie." He dipped me and kissed me passionately.

Claire came straight to us after the dance ended and we drove her home. She said he was a gentleman, but that he didn't even ask for a second date, which was when Jake spilled to her that he laid out some heavy threats on her behalf.

When we got to Jake's we headed to the bedroom. He pulled me against him and started kissing me fervently. He unzipped my dress and untied the halter; it dropped down my body. He kept kissing me while stripping out of his tux and tossing his clothes on the bureau. He then knelt down and untied the corsage from my wrist. He set that gently on top of the bureau and then he stepped behind me and slid his fingers into the bolero I had on my shoulders and removed it. I was standing there in my black strapless bra, cheeky panties, garter belt, stockings, and stilettos and he was in just a pair of boxers.

He kissed me with fevered passion. "I really love the garter belt. What made you decide to wear those tonight?"

"It went well with the dress and I hoped you would like it," I answered.

"Oh, I do. Thank you," he said with a sexy grin. Then his tone became more demanding, "Nessie, Baby, I need to be in control tonight."

I nodded in agreement and smiled.

"Good. I need to have you all to myself. I wanted to hurt Felix so bad for even being in the same room with us."

"Yes," I moaned as I felt myself becoming aroused at his protectiveness. "I need you to take me, to possess me. I don't want to think about anything, but you and what you make me feel. Let's not..."

"Hush." He silenced me with a deep kiss. He drove his tongue into my mouth with wild abandon and I forgot what I was even saying.

He pulled away and put a finger on my lips. "You're such a good girl. You know that, Baby? But, I want you to be a bad girl for me tonight." His voice was full of possession. I nodded as his hands wandered over my body. "I want to hear you talk dirty tonight. Tell me what you want me to do to you. Can you be bad for me tonight?" I was so turned on by his feral need to be in control all I could do was nod. "Answer me, Nessie," he commanded.

I shivered at his tone of voice. Finally, I found my voice, "Yes, Jacob."

"Okay, my naughty girl." He smiled his sexy grin.

He knelt down in front of me and kissed my stomach. Jacob detached the straps from my stockings then took my right knee in his hands and lifted it gently and then removed my shoe and slowly slid my stocking off. He set my foot down and repeated the process with the left leg. He removed my panties and garter belt next and then slid his hands up my back and unhooked my bra.

He rose to his full height and said, "Lie down on your back in the center of the bed." I followed his instructions and he followed me to the bed, but left his boxers on. He knelt, hovering over me then he started kissing my neck. He slowly moved down my chest and kissed just above where my breasts swelled out of my chest. His breath ghosted over my breasts, but he didn't make contact. I moaned, aching for more. He moved to just below my breasts and started kissing my ribs softly. Chuckling he huskily asked "What does my bad girl want?"

"Please..." I moaned.

He kissed further down my stomach until he was just above my navel. He slowly worked his way back up to my breasts. Kissing along my ribs to the sides of my breasts. I moaned again. He was teasing me. "What do you need, Nessie?"

"You..." I answered in a daze.

"What do you need from me?" He murmured against my skin as he continued to approach my breasts but didn't make contact.

"I... need... you... to stop... teasing... me..." I panted out.

"Mmmm... how exactly am I teasing you?" He licked just above my breasts.

"You're teasing my breasts..."

"Your _what_?" He asked with sharp emphasis.

_Oh right, I have to talk dirty tonight._

"My, my... tits..." I said quietly, my face burned with embarrassment.

"Tell me what you want me to do to your tits," he demanded huskily.

"I want you to kiss them..."

"Kiss _what_?" He asked and raised an eyebrow.

"Kiss my tits..." He started kissing them, but avoided my nipples.

"Do you want me to do anything else?"

"Yes..." I moaned out as he blew across one of my swollen nipples.

"Tell me," he whispered as he moved to my other breast.

"I love it when you lick and suck on my nipples and even..." I trailed off, not sure if I should tell him what I was thinking.

He sucked one into his mouth and swirled his warm wet tongue around my swollen bud. He pulled back; keeping his mouth just above my aching flesh so I could feel his breath. My nipple was getting cold and was overwhelmed by the sensation. "And even what?" He asked and blew a stream of air across my nipple. I shivered at the sensation.

"And even when you bite my nipples..." I answered and he moved to my other breast and sucked it into his mouth and rolled it softly between his teeth and then tugged back while still holding the rosy tip in his teeth. I squealed at the intense feeling of pleasure and discomfort.

"Like that?" He asked smugly.

"Yes... _Exactly _like that." I replied. He kept playing with my nipples and breasts for sometime until I was bucking my hips toward him and whimpering.

"Hmmm... you're becoming an impatient girl... I think you need some attention somewhere else." He murmured against me while kissing my stomach. "What do you think, Baby?"

"Mmm... hmm..." I moaned in response.

"Hmmm... I think you should tell me _exactly_ where you need attention." He kissed lower along my stomach and hips.

"Jacob..." I whimpered. He trailed wet kisses down one of my thighs and up the other.

"Come on my dirty girl, I need you to tell me what needs my attention. I can't guess," he replied playfully.

I cried out. I wanted and needed him so badly. I was aching for him. He moved so that he was kneeling between my legs and lifted my knees over his shoulders. I hoped he would give me relief. He turned his head and kissed my left knee. "Is this where you need attention?" He turned his head and kissed my other knee. "How 'bout here? Hmmm... I don't think so..." He moved closer to my dripping wet core and started kissing and nibbling on my thighs. When he was close enough that I could feel his breath on my lips he blew out a breath. I trembled again and then he said, "I just can't figure out where you need attention. You need to say it. Tell me," he commanded.

He looked up at me with a sexy smile and waited for me to respond. "I can't Jacob..." I said shyly.

"Yes, I know you can," he replied sincerely. "Please for me?" He pleaded. I felt my face flushing. "Do you have any idea how much it turns me on when you talk dirty to me?" He asked.

"No..." I said shyly. I bit my lip. "Will you tell me?"

"Only if you tell me where you need attention, Nessie."

"Okay..." I took a deep breath and said loudly, "My pussy needs your attention."

He smiled and said, "And your pussy will get all my attention..." He started licking and kissing my folds and clit. He licked me with a feverish pace and I was already climbing to release.

"Oh... Jacob..." I moaned as I twined my fingers in his short hair. He was making love to me with his tongue and I was loosing my hold on reality. I don't know how long it lasted, but eventually I was on another plane of existence. I felt like my mind was elsewhere watching myself moan and quake from Jacob's mouth. My entire body tensed and I screamed his name in rapture as he brought me over the edge to complete surrender.

He slowed his pace and licked me a few more times and then rose up with a satisfied smile on his face. He moved so that he could kiss me and he gently bent down and kissed me softly. I licked his lips and tasted myself as I deepened the kiss.

He pulled back and looked down at me with adoration and love. "That's my good girl. I love you, Nessie," he whispered as he caressed my cheek with two of his fingers.

"Mmmm..." I sighed with a content smile. "I love you too, my Jacob." He smiled back and settled down on his side and started running his fingers along my chest and stomach making small designs. After a few minutes I turned to face him and started running my hands along the ridges of his muscles on his chest and abs. "I think you promised to tell me how much my talking dirty turns you on..." I said with a smile.

"I did, didn't I," Jacob chuckled. He kissed me softly. "Sweetheart, I know that you aren't comfortable using dirty words. I'm sorry to have pushed you so hard for my own selfish reasons, but I was feeling a bit possessive and needed to do something that reminded me that you are mine. I'm sorry to have made you uncomfortable and to have let my dominant side out so much tonight..." I put my hand gently on his lips to silence him.

"Shhh... I loved it. You have nothing to apologize for. I have never been so turned on by you as I was tonight. Now I want to return the favor, but first can you tell me why you like it when I talk dirty?" I bit my lip.

He smiled and kissed me passionately. "Nessie, everything we do sexually is something you've only ever done with me. I absolutely love that no one has ever touched you in the ways that I have. But, you really are a good girl, you never ever swear with anyone else. I think you only swear with me and pushing you to use those words tonight with me was so I could have another little part of you. It turns me on immensely to know that you were willing to give that piece of yourself to me. Plus I like knowing what you like so I can make you feel good."

I smiled coyly and said, "Well in that case would you mind keeping your dominant side out a little while longer?" I trailed a finger down the center crease of his abdominal muscles.

"I don't know Ness, I really didn't mean to let that happen in the first place. I really do want to wait longer before we get into that stuff."

"Well, I'm not suggesting we do anything extreme... I think what I'm asking is fairly normal behavior based on what I've been told." I bit my lip and batted my eyelashes at him.

"What exactly _are_ you suggesting, Ness? I'm not going to agree to anything until I know _exactly_ what you want."

"I want you to be in control while I go down on you." I trailed my finger down to his erect manhood and started tracing it through his boxers.

He seemed to be pondering my request. "How 'in control' are we talking?"

"Maybe you could tell me what to do and hold my hair and control my pace and depth with your hands..." I said hopefully.

He licked his lips. "I can do that."

I smiled coyly and said, "So, what do I have to do to get your big hard cock in my mouth?" His eyes darkened as he heard my words.

"After hearing you say that you can have my cock in your dirty little mouth anytime you want. Let's start with a kiss and then you can do what you like." He took off his boxers and then pulled me against him for a passionate kiss and rolled back so he was on his back and I was on top of him. Eventually, I broke the kiss and started trailing wet kisses down his chest and abs. I thought it would be nice to tease him like he had teased me. So, I intentionally avoided his manhood. I kissed the creases of his hips and his upper thighs. I trailed my tongue through the valleys of his ab muscles. I blew lightly on his tip, but never made contact. "Fuck... Nessie... Now you're teasing me," Jacob said in a husky voice.

I smiled and looked up at him. "Well, I thought you would give me more direction. I just don't know what needs attention," I said coyly.

"Is that how you want it?" He asked gruffly. I nodded and batted my eyelashes at him. "Well then, wrap those sweet lips around my cock," he commanded and I obeyed. "Take me as deep as you can comfortably." I pushed my mouth forward until he hit the back of my throat. "Wrap one of your hands around my shaft just below your lips and remember that spot. You need to keep a hand there to prevent me from pushing you too deep." He then gathered up some of my hair which was still in the complex updo for prom. He pulled my head up his shaft slowly and started to move me up and down slowly while I sucked and licked his shaft and head. I used my free hand to caress and play with his balls.

I was getting more and more excited by the idea that he was in total command of my movement and he was using me for his pleasure. I was serving my fiance's needs. I loved this side of Jacob and I loved being able to surrender to his command and his love. He worked my head up and down his shaft picking up speed as time passed. He was whispering words of love intermingled with dirty words and I couldn't help being ridiculously turned on by the whole experience.

He released my hair and said, "Nessie, Babe, I'm gonna cum." I kept the pace up that he had set and increased the pressure of my lips. I felt his body tensing and pushed his dick as deep as I could without gagging and felt thick spurts of cum hit the back of my throat. I swallowed everything and gently licked all the way up his dick.

Jake pulled me up into his arms and kissed me. "Thank you, Nessie. I love you so much."

I cuddled into his arms. "I love you too, Jacob. Thank you." He turned off the lights and we went to sleep.

~*Break*~

**Coming up:**

Bella was taking me to brunch with Alice so I could begin to plan my ceremony program. When we got to the restaurant my friends were all there and they yelled "Surprise!" I was a little confused until Bella told me we were having my Bridal Shower.

Bella showed me a framed invitation. It was a card with a white piece of lingerie and my sizes, the name of the restaurant, the date, time, and the following text:

_Something pretty, _

_Something nice,_

_Something naughty, _

_Something with a bit of spice_

_Let's help knock _

_Jake's socks off _

_Please join us for a _

_Lingerie Shower _

_honoring _

_May Dwyer_

**READ & REVIEW. **

**Question of the day: Would you rather I publish short chapters more often or keep up my current length and speed of about 7 – 10 thousand words once every week to ten days? Bottom line – I think I'll get more reviews with short chapters more often, but I feel like my chapters are complete scenes and would hate to stoop to that level just because I'm not getting as many reviews. So are you more likely to read and review short segments because they are easier to digest or is the current format better. **

**Special thanks to Tashay789, JacobBlackMoon, and Cakes4547 all three have been great reviewers and each have great Jake & Ness stories that are worth reading. Tashay has a really hot one-shot and a very nice new story that looks extremely promising. Cakes has several stories my favorite is untouchable. JacobBlackMoon has two spectacular D/s & menage trois stories and two vanilla stories.**


	14. Showers

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on/explore BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes RARE Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship.**

Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s, BDSM, or DD lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual.

Special thanks to my awesome beta** Sawny94.** This story is better because of your help. If you enjoy my story please check Sawny94 out she was one of my inspirations. You're awesome.

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS!**

Citrus fruit at the middle of chapter. Do I even need to put this? If you've made through since Chapter 8 you pretty much know almost every chapter has something sweet and a little sour like lemonade. ;)

Twitter me (at)kmddeprez1122

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while. Song lyrics belong to their authors.**

_Who got you off when you got yours? _

_Who was the first to spill your soul? _

_Who got you off? Well, I'm the one _

_Dreamed of doing it day and night _

Dave Matthews Band,_ Crash Into Me_

Showers

RPOV

June 15, 2014

June came too quickly, and so did my break, I jumped right back into the full swing of organizing my wedding. Bella was taking me to brunch with Alice so I could begin to plan my ceremony program. Or so I thought because when we got to the restaurant my friends were all there and they yelled "Surprise!" I was a little confused until Bella told me we were having my Bridal Shower.

Bella showed me a framed invitation. It was a card with a white piece of lingerie and my sizes, the name of the restaurant, the date, time, and the following text: 'something pretty, something nice, something naughty, something to add a little spice... let's help knock Jake's socks off... please join us for a lingerie shower honoring May Dwyer'.

Twenty of my friends were in attendance as well as Aunt Esme, Alice, and Rose. Alice informed me that Jake's sisters had been invited, but had sent regrets and gifts. I understood; Rebecca lived in Hawaii and Rachel had just given birth to little William Joseph. Jake and I were planning to visit her the next weekend to meet him.

Everyone came with a different set of lingerie for me to take on my honeymoon. While some were beautiful, some were downright sinful and decadent. The girls from my school all got me conservative items from chain stores, most were slips, baby dolls, and bra and panty sets. It was the women in mine and Jake's families that were substantially more risque in their purchases. Rebecca got me a black drape neck chemise and silk stockings and Rachel got a mesh and lace pink chemise with pink fishnet stockings. Alice bought several pieces of French lingerie that didn't really seem to cover any of the necessary parts; she had purchased open cup bras, crotchless panties, garter belts and stockings, she made me hold up each piece for everyone to see. Esme had purchased several pieces from La Perla that included three long silk and satin nightgowns, matching robes, bras and panties. Rose bought an open cup black leather bustier with nail head embellishments, a steel zipper, and matching g-string, a two-piece chain vest and collar with matching black leather thong, a red leather lace up corset, garter, and g-string, and several pairs of red and black silk stockings. I blushed quite a bit when I opened hers. She mentioned that men who like cars like metal and leather. Bella bought several lace and crisscross strap teddies as well as a couple more silk slips like the white one she gave me for my first date with Jake. By the time I finished unwrapping the gifts I felt like I didn't even have the ability to blush anymore.

Finally I unwrapped the last present and then Alice announced the game "Whose panties are these?" She handed me 24 white paper bags and I had to guess who had purchased each set of bra and underwear. Anyone who I couldn't guess got a $25 gift card to Bath & Body works. The easy ones were Rose – leather & chain; Esme – La Perla white silk, Alice – black ruffled lace, and Bella – strappy lace. My friends were tougher because all of their items came from standard collections. The only three I could figure out were Zafrina – leopard print lycra, Claire – pink lace, and Carmen – black and white floral cotton. Bella gave them gift cards anyway, and because of my status as the bride she handed me a $50 gift card as well. I couldn't help smiling because my Valentine fragrances from Jake were running low and I was desperate to replace the Lavender Vanilla, Jasmine Vanilla, and Tranquil Mint; and to gather some of my old favorites like Warm Vanilla Sugar, Green Clover and Aloe, and Seaspray.

As we left Bella, Alice, Rose, and Esme also announced that the Saturday before the Wedding my bridesmaids and I would all be spending the entire day at a high end spa, getting massages and various other spa treatments. Alice told me that since she knew I would be receiving so much lingerie the four of them had decided to get me a cedar chifferobe which would be waiting at home for me and that I wasn't allowed to show Jake any of the gifts until the wedding. I thanked everyone for the amazing surprises and gifts. When I went home I had to immediately write 26 thank you notes.

The following weekend Jake and I headed to La Push to meet William Joseph Foley, Rachel and Paul's adorable little boy. Paul and Raych asked us to be his Godparents; Jake and I were touched by the request and happily agreed. Jake gave them a beautiful rocking chair for the nursery; it must have cost him a fortune. I had made a larger throw for Rachel which matched the baby blanket I gave her for the shower.

Willy was such an adorable baby and seeing Jake hold his nephew in his arms was beautiful. I watched as he held this fragile little human being in his arms, Jake's smile was brilliant. I could just imagine him with our children one day.

The baby wasn't fussy at all. Rachel said he was even sleeping through the night, but Paul would sneak in to the nursery throughout the night to make sure he was still breathing.

I spent several hours that weekend with old Quil learning the language and customs of the tribe. When I talked to Jake about the customs Quil had told me about Jake only knew a few of them. He decided that if Quil would have it then he would join me to learn as well since I was apparently getting more information than he had about old tribal customs.

~*Break*~

Jake insisted that we spend some of our time working on redecorating the condo. We started our walk through the house in the basement. He kept his wood working tools and some miniature figurines he had carved down there. He basically had the entrance to the garage, a large storage space, a pile of wood for the fireplace, a tool bench, and the washer and dryer. I hadn't even been down to the basement since he bought the place.

"Can I hang a couple clothes lines down here?" I asked.

"Of course, Baby, it'll be your house in a couple months. You can do anything you want," he replied proudly.

My heart filled with pleasure, he wanted me to make his house my own. However, I could not see myself spending that much time in the basement. "I'm only going to come down here for laundry and maybe wood in the winter. I just kind of think of this as your space since the tools and wood are down here. It's kind of like your own Jacob cave," I teased with a small giggle.

He chuckled. "Well, if I get a Jacob cave then we need a special Nessie place too."

"I already have the Nessie closet," I quickly shot back.

"Nope," he said, growing serious, determined for me to find my own place, "We'll have two empty rooms when the guys move out and we aren't having kids for a few years so one of them is a special place for just you." He pulled me into a tight hug and kissed my forehead. "You could set it up for studying, crafting, or whatever you want sweetheart. We just have to decide what to do with the other room."

"Mmm..." I smiled. I was beginning to really feel married. We were making decisions together about our home. "I think we should have a guest room for when your sisters or my aunt and uncle want to visit." I knew better than to mention Billy; he wouldn't be visiting.

"Sounds great, Baby." We walked back upstairs. "Do you wanna change anything about the house? I know the previous owner's tastes aren't exactly our style and I probably should have repainted when I moved in, but I didn't... so... it's a blank canvas," he said sheepishly.

I didn't want him to feel ashamed that his bachelor pad wasn't fully decorated. "Jacob it's fine. This way we can start fresh, make it our house, together. We'll brainstorm. When do you want to paint – before or after the wedding?"

Smiling down at me, his hand moved to the small of my back, rubbing it absently as he looked around. "Well obviously we can't do the rooms upstairs until the boys move out. So we will get the rest of the house done before the wedding, and leave those rooms for last."

"Are you sure Jake? I know you've been working so hard lately, and the last thing I want is for you to come home from a long day at the garage and have to work more. I don't want you too tired out to have fun."

"Yeah... I'm sure... If I get to tired I'll cut back at the shop. I can always make up for it after the wedding. It's not like we're hurting for business. I just want to give Rose a cushion while we're gone just in case of emergencies. If I had more room in the shop I'd hire another mechanic, but we're saving for expansion and Quil's got the house calls covered for now."

"That's great, Hun!" I was so proud that his business was doing so well.

"Anyway, we were talking about the walls..." he just let the statement hang.

He wanted my opinion. "So do you think we'll eat mostly in the kitchen or the dining room?"

"The kitchen," he replied decisively.

"Okay, so let's start there." We headed into the kitchen and I looked around. Jake sat on the counter. We had stainless steel appliances, dark granite counter tops, light wood cabinets, medium hardwood flooring, and white walls. "We need to think of this room as the center of our house. What do you love about this room, Jake?"

"The Viking." He pointed at the massive six burner gas oven and hood.

"Is that it?" I asked incredulously.

"Well I like the other appliances too, but the oven's my favorite. It's a beast." He chuckled. "What do you like about the kitchen?"

"I love the hardwood floor, the granite counters, and the kitchen table." The table was cherry and could expand to hold four to ten people. It was beautiful. The one in the dining room was very similar, but had more elaborate trim and sat six to twelve people.

"Yeah I like those too. So we keep the floor, counters, and appliances as they are."

"So do you hate anything about the kitchen?" I asked.

"The cabinets. I shoulda refinished them months ago to match the floor."

"You can do that?" I asked surprised.

He rolled his eyes. "Of course I can. Where did you think I got the tables from?"

"The tables?" I asked. "I thought you bought them."

"Nessie, I've been working with wood since I was a toddler. I don't buy any wooden furniture. It's all either way too expensive or it falls apart in a couple months. It's a waste of money."

"Wait – so are you saying all the wood furniture in the house is hand built?"

"Well – I don't know about the stuff in Quil and Embry's rooms, but yeah everything else is built by yours truly."

"Even the bedroom furniture?" I was impressed and proud of my man! They were amazingly detailed and matched perfectly.

"Yep." He grinned pleased with himself. "And I'm making you some furniture as a wedding gift," he revealed with a wink.

"Really – what?"

"I'm not gonna blow all my secrets today." He chuckled. "Wait – did you think I bought the rocking chair I gave Raych and Paul?" He was referring to his gift for the birth of the baby. I nodded. "Sweetie, I love my sister, but she'd be mortified if I bought her something like that. Billy makes his living as a carver so we all know how much high quality furniture costs. She'd never accept a gift that cost that kind of cash."

"How much would a chair like that sell for?" I wondered why he didn't make furniture full time.

"Depends where it's being sold."

"Just give me a ballpark."

"I've seen Billy sell similar rockers for more than a thousand off the Rez. He'd charge much less on the Rez or he'd probably barter it for something of equal value."

"Why the heck are you in the auto repair business if you can do that?"

"Cause I'm a shitty salesman. I won't live my life praying I can make a sale when I can work at something I love and the business comes to me. I grew up poor 'cause Billy wasn't a great salesman either and I wouldn't ever subject my family to that when I can earn a decent living with the skills I have."

"Well I guess that makes sense, but all the stuff you've made is beautiful."

"Thanks, babe. So I'll refinish the cabinets to match the floor. What else do you want to change?"

"Well the wall color needs to change and I'd love to have a back splash made from tile. Don't tell me - you know how to do that," I said sarcastically.

"Nope," he grinned and pulled out his phone, "but, I know someone who does know how to tile and I can have them teach us or I can ask him to do it himself as a wedding present." He started texting someone."

"Really – who?"

Shaking his head, he said, "Not telling until we get through the whole house and make a list of anything else that needs tile. So what are you thinking for the walls and the color of the back splash?"

"Wait – can you finish those cabinets to match any wood?" I began thinking that a high contrast would be nice.

"Yeah they're birch and they've only been clear coated I'm sure I can strip it off and add any stain you like. What wood do you want it to match?"

"The tables. I love them so much and I was just thinking we could have the dark wood with the lighter floors and then a soft creamy blue back splash and wall color."

"Sounds great, Babe. Should we be writing this down or will you lock it away in your memory?" I tapped the side of my head in answer and he chuckled as we moved to the dining room.

"I pretty much love this room with the exception of the white walls and the chandelier," I told him as we stood looking around the dining room.

"Okay so we get rid of the tacky chandelier and put some other light fixture in. What color do you think for this room."

"Why don't we use the china pattern we picked? We can paint the walls that same blue and use cream accents and maybe get an oriental rug to fit with it all."

"Sounds good." He started texting again.

"Who are you texting?"

"Just a friend who can change the light fixture."

"Do you have a bunch of friends I don't know about?"

"Nope, you know both these guys."

"Then why won't you tell me who they are?"

"'Cause I love watching your forehead wrinkle in puzzlement." He laughed as I pouted. "That pout is incredibly cute too." He smoothed my forehead with a thumb and kissed me softly.

We headed into the living room, which was like a time warp into another era. The walls and fireplace were beige stucco with a dark granite hearth and a mantel that matched the cabinets in the kitchen. Above the fireplace was a large inset that held the TV. The mismatched furniture was laid out to focus on the TV and the ugly fireplace.

"Jake, I've never asked you, but why did you take all the furniture from the apartment and where did you get those wicker chairs?" I pointed at the Papasan chairs and couch with huge green cushions.

He grinned sheepishly and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "I picked up the chairs, rugs, and curtains at a yard sale all for twenty bucks. The furniture from the apartment was going to go to Goodwill if I didn't take it. Bella didn't need it anymore and since Carlisle and Esme bought it for Alice, Bella, and me I figured they'd rather it come with me."

I was a bit surprised he had managed to furnish his entire living room for twenty dollars. "Wow you got all this for twenty dollars!"

"Well..." he hedged, "actually I got all the rugs and curtains through the whole house, plus the two chairs, my dishes, and most of the cookware and gadgets in the kitchen."

My jaw dropped. "Who would sell all that stuff for so little money?"

"It was a lucky find one morning on my run. I was running the loop on Mercer Island that Saturday. They were just setting out the stuff at five in the morning. They were burning the house down to build on the footprint and I hadn't done laundry that week so I threw on that horrible shirt Emmett got as a joke for the 2012 election – you know the one 'Palin/Jindel.' The folks were avid Republicans and got the impression I was too. I didn't correct them. So we shot the shit about politics for a while and I told them about the garage. I was admiring their stuff and said I was in the middle of a run. They were trying to get rid of stuff fast so they asked if I had any cash on me to hold it. I said I had twenty to hold the stuff and asked how much it all was and they told me twenty would cover it. I tried to give them more, but they wouldn't have it. They're some of my best customers at the garage now. They do all their maintenance with me. They threw in the dishes when I got back since they didn't want to store them while the house was being rebuilt."

"And you say you're not a good salesman," I giggled.

"Well I'm a good people person, but I can't sell shit to save my ass. They liked me is all." He smiled his sexy grin. "So anyway, what do you like about this room?"

"The size," I answered simply.

"You're nothing if not honest." He chuckled.

"What do you like about this room?" I asked.

"My Man TV and the fireplace." I shuddered. "What don't you like about those?" He asked.

"The flat screen is fine, but that is the ugliest fireplace I have ever seen."

"Well I didn't say I liked the look of it I just like to have fire." His eyes lit up and he grinned boyishly.

"Oh... I like fire too, but can't we do anything to make it look nicer?"

"Of course, Baby. Do you wanna keep the TV there? It's kinda awkward anywhere else because then the room has two focal points."

"We can keep the TV above the fireplace, but what can we do to improve the stucco it's horrible, but I don't want to get into some insane project that involves refinishing the whole room."

"I don't know how involved that is. Let me get an expert opinion." Jake grabbed his cell and dialed someone. "Hey man... So the text I sent you about teaching me to tile... Well I've got another question and I figured you's know the answer. Remember the stucco walls in my living room... Yeah," he chuckled, "the ugly fireplace yes... Well, dude consider it your wedding present to me... You don't have to do the work just teach me... Well if that's how it is I'd love your help. Are you sure you can't just show me and leave me to finish it?" Jake just smiled at me. "Yeah, I guess that would be tough... No, you know I don't know shit about masonry... I have no idea what's behind it..." Jake walked over to the fireplace and took out his leatherman and dug a hole at the back corner, where the hearth met the wall. "Yeah I hit metal... Ness, can you get my hammer and a bull point chisel?"

"What's a bull point chisel look like?"

He chuckled and got up. "Nevermind, Babe, you'd probably grab a wood chisel." He headed downstairs and came back with a hammer and a long piece of metal that looked like a giant pencil. He kissed me and held out the piece of metal. "Bull point chisel. Here." He handed me the phone. "Put it on speaker, Babe. I need both hands."

I put it on speaker and said, "Hi this is Ness, who's this?"

"Jake, didn't tell you," Paul scoffed.

"Oh – hey Paul. How's William?" I asked.

"He's great." Just then, Jake cracked into the metal with the chisel and hammer and peeled back a bit of the metal sheet. "You get through, Jake?"

"Yeah, Paul," Jake answered. "I think some idiot covered wainscoting with stucco."

"Don't do anything else!" Paul yelled just in time, since Jake was sliding the narrow end of his hammer into the hole he'd just made.

Jake froze, "Why the fuck not?"

"Because you know nothing about stucco and if you try to make that hole any bigger you'll damage the wainscoting and make it harder for me to get the shit off. I'll be there this weekend and we'll pull all that shit down, but don't you fucking go and make the job harder for me because you want a better look at the wood. I know you want to, but leave it the fuck alone! We'll get a look at the damage this weekend. The mother fuckers probably used ten penny nails just to make my life miserable."

"Okay, Paul, thanks for walking me through this."

"No problem, but if I'm coming to Seattle, Raych and Willy are gonna come too. Where can we stay?"

"My place," Jake answered quickly.

"I swear Black sometimes you're one dumb fuck. I can't expose the baby to the dust that'll be floating around your place while we rip that crap off."

"Hey! Be nice, Paul or I'll tell Raych," I threatened, effectively shutting him up. "I'll ask Bella and Edward if you can stay in the guest room at our place." I offered.

"I don't want to inconvenience any of your friends, Jake," Paul said hesitantly.

Jake took over, "If it's inconvenient, I'll set up the office in the garage as a bedroom for the weekend, but I think we'll make much better arrangements and it won't be inconvenient. You're doing me a huge favor, man. Remember, if I had to pay somebody to do this it would cost an arm and a leg."

"Well aren't you glad your sister married a contractor and you get the family discount. Besides you'll pay me back in car repairs."

"Sure, sure." They wrapped up with goodbyes and ended the call.

Jake hugged me and asked, "Do you want to keep working on the downstairs or shall we call it a day on the decorating?"

We decided to at least finish planning. We basically decided to redecorate the entire house.

True to his word, Paul came that weekend and taught Jake and I to tile; then he and Jake pulled down the stucco to reveal three walls with wainscoting in almost perfect condition that had been covered by lathe then stuccoed. The reason the previous owners had stuccoed the living room was because one wall had been damaged in a chimney fire. Two thirds of the wall the fireplace was centered in needed major repair in order to make our living room look nice.

Jake was actually giddy about the find.

"Jake, why are you so happy we have to replace twelve feet of wall?" I asked a bit miffed that evening when we were looking over the damage.

"Cause now I have an excuse to build a spectacular cabinet system in that space." He held up a piece of paper with his vision on it. It was a brilliant solution. We'd lose two feet of space against that wall, but we didn't have anything in that space anyway. We'd gain storage space, bookshelves, a queen sized bed, and a focal point for the living room.

"How does that bed work?" I asked. It looked like a Murphy bed, but he had bookshelves above the bed.

"Paul told me about it, it's called a Zoom-Room and the bed and mechanism cost a few grand, but I'd build the cabinets myself and it would be like having an extra guest room if more than one person were visiting. It literally rolls up into the back of the cabinet."

"What would we store in there?" I pointed to the tall cabinets beside the fireplace.

"The tall ones would be for wood so we wouldn't be running up and down stairs all day on cold days and the short ones on each side are for fire tending supplies, the ash bucket, and kindling. The rest of the cabinets and drawers would be for whatever you wanted to use them for. We have a much bigger home than we need, but at least it'll grow with us. Besides if we ever are short on cash we can bring in a roommate again."

"No," I said firmly.

"No, to what?" He asked.

"No roommates. I can contribute to the household too. We won't be short on cash, Jake."

"Okay, but not too much. I can support both of us, Ness," he said equally as firm.

"I know, Jake, but I want to contribute. In fact I'd like to pay for this bed thing you just mentioned since you're paying for the rest of the building supplies." I was adamant about this and preparing for an argument.

Jake rubbed his fingers along his jaw as he thought about it for a couple minutes. "Okay, Ness. Anymore requests?"

Since I was already geared up for an argument I figured now was a good time to bring up gifts for the wedding. "Yes actually, I want to buy the wedding party some gifts. Do you mind if I pull some money out of the trust to do that?"

He shrugged, "It's your money. You don't need to ask my permission to spend your money."

"So you don't mind if I buy some gifts?"

"No, I was thinking of buying tee-shirts from SADD for everyone do you want to help pick those out?"

"No, I think you should pick them out and I'll pick the other stuff out." I smiled, this had gone easier than I thought it would.

July passed quickly. Jake and I memorized our vows and I selected the scripture readings for the ceremony. We went swimming at Bella and Edward's home a lot since they lived on the shore of Lake Washington. Their house was still my home, but it was getting confusing since I was now spending three nights a week at Jake's. I was in transition. I had begun keeping clothes and personal belongings at Jake's.

Several days a week I would do construction tasks at the condo and on my other days I worked on the wedding. I addressed all the invitations and eventually logged the RSVP cards as they came back. I planned the music and made sure every contract was perfect. I trusted Alice, but I was incredibly detail oriented and I wanted to make sure every 'i' was dotted and every 't' was crossed.

My weekends belonged to Jake. I would stay with him from Friday night to Monday morning and then we'd get together on Wednesday evening, but I would go back to Bella's after our weeknight dates. Jake was staying late at the garage on the other nights of the week. He wanted to get in as many cars as possible before the wedding so he could take time off around our wedding guilt free. I was worried he was overworking himself starting the day at 7am and working until 8pm three days a week, but he assured me he could handle it and it was bringing in extra income to hold the shop over for the three weeks we'd be gone. He wouldn't tell me where we were going no matter how often I begged.

~*Break*~

JPOV

Ness and I spent the summer refinishing the house. I mostly worked on building the cabinets in my free time and Ness worked on the other projects. She had the summer off, but the wedding and decorating tasks were keeping her very busy. I helped with demolition work and repaired any structural damage, but she wanted to handle the tiling and painting while I worked during the days.

One day I came home early from a really bad day at the shop and found Nessie on the floor in the upstairs bathroom. She was just finishing laying the tile on her hands and knees. I just stood and watched as she wiggled her hips with the music playing in the background. She was so beautiful. Her ass was perfect, just plump enough to give me something to hold, but not jiggly. Her legs were so fucking sexy. She was in perfect form for doggy style. She didn't even know how tempting she was most of the time.

Her hair was up and she had on a holey tee-shirt and extremely short sweat shorts. It was the same outfit I'd seen her in whenever we worked on the house; she was adorable. I didn't have the heart to tell her the clothes were too skimpy to wear around Quil and Embry. Instead, I'd laid some heavy threats on them about staying out of her way and keeping their eyes to her face when she was painting and tiling.

One of the many things I adored about Nessie was her willingness to get her hands dirty. She wanted to do this herself because it gave her a sense of accomplishment. We both needed a break. She had been planning the wedding, remodeling the house, learning my language and customs, and trying to make time for her friends who were going away to school after the wedding.

She sat back on her heels and wiped her forehead. She dipped the trowel into the mortar to start the half wall. I quickly made my move so she didn't get into a new phase of tiling. I moved in right behind her mirroring her position and stilled her hand in the bucket. Startled, she practically jumped out of her skin, threw her elbow back hard into my gut, and started breathing heavily. I wrapped my other arm around her securely as I spoke, "Shh... it's just me." Ness relaxed against me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just didn't want you to move to a new area."

"I just didn't expect you home so early. Did something happen? Are you okay?" Spinning around she ran her hands down my chest and stomach looking for any damage.

"No, I'm fine, Ness," I rushed to reassure her. "Just a rough day, I realized I needed a break." I wanted her to hit first and ask questions later if she felt threatened. If she worried she hurt me she might hesitate and it might not be me the next time. "Actually, I'm really proud of you. That hit was hard, just next time don't stop until you know it's me."

"Okay, Jake," she said with a smile.

I noticed she was covered in mortar and I knew I was still covered in grease from the shop since I hadn't showered yet. She had stripes of mortar along her brow and cheeks. I smiled at the sight and kissed her. She ran her fingers through my hair as the kiss became more passionate. I ran my hands along the exposed skin of her waist and moved them up to her bra to unclasp it. Damn! Sports bra. Her sports bras were too damn tight to slip my fingers under. I rolled up the band hoping to free her tits from their spandex prison. She broke the kiss and pulled away with a giggle.

"What are you doing?" She asked coyly.

"Copping a feel." I grinned.

"Well, why don't I help with that?" I nodded. She pulled the tee-shirt off. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight. I had covered her bra and torso with grease. I held up my hands, she noticed the grease, and started laughing as well. "Jake, why are your hands still covered in grease?" She asked between giggles.

"'Cause I'm a mechanic," I answered obviously.

"No – I mean why didn't you wash it off before you drove home?"

"I ran home." I really didn't want to discuss the horrible day I had.

"Oh – you're day was that bad?"

"Not anymore." I smiled at Nessie.

"What happened, my Jacob?"

"You sure you wanna know?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's obviously bothering you."

"Quil destroyed an undercarriage on a tow job; I left to deal with that customer while Rose ran the shop. She got in a rush job on a car that was overheating. She was repairing it when she found bags of coke taped to various parts of the engine." Nessie gasped. "The dumb fuck couldn't figure out why his car was overheating. When you tape bags of coke to your radiator of course you're gonna to overheat. Quil and I headed back to the shop and saw her with a gun to her head bent over an engine. I had Quil call the police, but I wanted Rose out of there. I walked in and said I could finish the job faster if he let me takeover and let Rose go, but he insisted that she stay, so then he had two hostages." Nessie clutched me hard. "I worked on the engine for a while intentionally damaging whatever I could. Rose and I kept working until the police got there. While he was distracted by the police I knocked him out with a wrench. After giving statements to the police I handed my shop keys to Quil and told him to clean up. Rose and I both took the rest of the day off."

"Oh, Jake, are you okay?" I could see the tears threatening to spill in her big brown doe eyes.

"Of course, Baby, I was more worried about Rose. I wasn't in any real danger, sweetheart." Despite the grease I wanted to comfort my girl, so I reached my hand up to caress her cheek.

"How could you not be in danger he had a gun aimed at you?" Her hands gripped my shirt and pulled me close, she began to cry against my chest.

I rubbed her back. "Shh... The gun was never pointed at me. I wish it had been, but it was pointed at Rose and then the police. I couldn't risk Rose which is why I waited to make my move."

"B-but, you could have been in danger. I could have lost you."

"How could I answer to Emmett if Rose had gotten hurt? Baby, he'd do the same for me and protect you with himself. You have to be willing to take risks for the people you love," I explained.

"I know. It's just so scary," she whimpered softly.

She was so scared and we needed to be together, to comfort each other, but first we needed to cleanup – _hmmm... two birds with one stone. _"Shh... Baby, I don't wanna talk about that anymore. Can we go take a shower downstairs? Then maybe we could go swimming at your place. We both need a break."

She blushed at my question. We'd never showered together. "Together?" She was so adorable when she was shy.

I smiled and replied, "Only if you're okay with that, but we do both need showers."

"Well, I don't want to let you out of my sight right now, Jacob." She grinned despite the tears.

"I couldn't agree with you more." I needed to hold her and love her. Both covered in grease and mortar, we headed downstairs to shower.

Nessie told me she was leaving her hair up and that it didn't need to be washed. We washed the grease off each other. I lathered her breasts with soap.

"Jacob?" she whispered.

"Yes?" I rolled her nipples between my fingers.

"I want to be close to you." I instantly got hard.

"Is that what you want, Baby?" I pulled her to me and kissed her.

"Yes," she moaned. She rocked her hips toward me, rubbing her torso against my aching hard on.

"Mmm... you feel so good."

She grasped me cock in her small hands and kept rubbing her skin against my tip. "Tell me."

I lifted her up and pressed her against the shower wall. "I love feeling you against me. Your skin is so soft and silky."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled herself up so her pussy was level with my cock. She started grinding her slick wet folds against me.

"Oh – fuck, Ness."

She moaned and whispered, "Jacob, I need you."

I was losing my mind. "Ahhh... Ness."

"Please... Jacob." She wriggled against me. I was so close to slipping inside her.

"What do you want, Ness?"

"Move please, my Jacob."

"I can't, Ness." If I moved I would slip into her.

"I want you to," she pouted, as she rolled her hips against me.

I had to take control, but her hot, wet pussy felt so good. I kissed her, then moved so that my tip was grinding against her clit. Her legs pulled tight around my hips and she was rubbing my length with her slick wet folds. All it would take to be inside her was tilting my hips and plunging in. We rocked against each other for a long time, steadily riding a wave toward our release.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better she uttered, "Jacob, make love to me." I came at the words and I felt her shudder with release too as my cum coated her stomach and pubic mound.

My brain started to regain control of the situation as the blood flow returned. "Nessie, what about waiting?"

"I could've lost you today. I don't wanna wait anymore. I want you to be mine."

She was doing this because of what happened not because her feelings had changed. "Nessie," I spoke firmly as I lifted her further up so we weren't quite so close. "I'm a man of my word. I gave you and God my word that we'd wait." I kissed her so she wouldn't feel rejected.

"But, can't we just get married now and forget the fanfare?"

"Sweetheart, what about all the work you've already done and the money Carlisle and Esme have sunk into the wedding?"

"We could get married twice," she suggested with an impish grin. "Once for our families and once for ourselves."

"No, Nessie, we won't lie like that. We've set a date. People have made plans around that and we will respect our friends and family enough not to alter our plans."

"You care more about their plans than you do about me!" she accused with tears in her eyes.

That hurt, and I could feel anger begin to well up inside me, I knew that she was lashing out because she wasn't getting her way. I spoke gently but firmly, "Renesmee, you're more important to me than anything or anyone else, but you made your desires clear months ago and I am sticking to the original plan. I'm not changing our plans because of lust."

"It's not lust, Jacob!" she sobbed. "I almost lost you. I need you. I can't live without you."

"Shhh... Nessie, Baby, I'm right here." I held her close and strong. "I love you so much."

She sobbed against me for a long time. I held her, not even caring when the water turned frigid against my backside. I stepped out of the shower when I realized she was shivering. Only a small part of her legs were making contact with the water, but it was enough to get her chilled. I dried her off, since she seemed totally spaced out.

"Nessie, you with me?" I asked, concerned about her lack of response other than crying.

"Mmm... hmm..." she whimpered.

"Thank God! I was worried you'd gone into shock."

"I just got a bit overwhelmed. I'm sorry..."

I placed a finger across her soft lips, effectively silencing her. "I know you're sorry, Ness, but what you did... it was manipulative, disrespectful, and it hurt me. I never want to hear you question how much I love you again. Got me?"

I could feel her body shiver at my words. She looked deep into my eyes, "Yes, Jacob. I promise."

~*Break*~

RPOV

At the end of July I had to con Alice into showing up for her surprise baby shower. Bella and I had planned the event and gotten a bunch of Alice's co-workers and friends to congregate at our house on a Monday. Bella and I cooked an Italian feast, since Bella took any excuse to cook Lasagna. I made refrigerator cupcakes that I decorated with little pink baby boots. Alice and Jasper were having a little girl, but they weren't giving away the name until she was born.

We tricked her into coming over by saying that the church organist had canceled and I needed her assistance to find someone new.

When she walked through the door she was greeted by a chorus of, "Surprise!"

She loved the party and all the gifts. I don't know how we managed to keep it a secret. Alice usually had a knack for knowing things like that were in the works. If she knew she sure faked a surprised reaction well.

Esme was so happy. She seemed happier about this pregnancy than Alice. She was the perfect grandmother and we looked forward to seeing her bond with the baby.

~*Break*~

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Bella had managed to find a club where we could have the bachelorette party, even though most of the girls were between eighteen and twenty-one. Rose showed up the afternoon of my party to dress me. First she had me shower and told me to make sure I was prepared to wear a sleeveless top – she wouldn't show it to me though. When I came out in a robe she did my hair, she went for a serious sex hair look, and then did my makeup.

"Rose, I don't want to look like a tramp," I said remembering Jacob's word to describe me when he thought my clothes were a little too revealing a few years earlier.

"May, part of the fun of your bachelorette party is that you have no control over it. We won't make you do anything objectionable, but we will embarrass you and dress you in ultra sexy clothes and makeup. You have no say. It's part of the rules."

I huffed but let her continue her work. She then did my makeup with a smokey eye and extra glossy pink watermelon lip gloss.

"Why are you using watermelon lip gloss? I thought you said I wouldn't do anything objectionable who is going to be kissing my lips?"

"Trust me, May, you'll appreciate it by the end of the night. I can't tell you more than that."

I huffed again, she was being cryptic. She put the lip gloss in a tiny black hand bag and then she handed me a black thong and some bizarre silicone cups that looked like something you would wear in a bra to add lift.

"What are these?" I asked motioning to the silicone cups.

"That's your bra," she replied as if it was obvious.

"What? Where is the rest?"

"That is the whole bra. Put on the panties and then I'll decide if you can go without it or if you need to wear it." I pulled the panties on under my robe. "Take off your robe." I dropped it we had the same parts after all. "Nope you need to wear it – you're a C-cup like me right?" I nodded. "Sorry we're going dancing and you won't be comfortable unless you have this on. Do you want me to show you how to use it?"

"Yes, please. I'll never figure it out otherwise and I'd really rather you not touch my boobs." I laughed.

She took off her shirt and bra then demonstrated how to stick on the cups and then clasp them together. She peeled them off and handed them back to me I repeated the process while she got dressed again. She then handed me skinny jeans that looked like they had been shrunk even lower than my size. I slid into them and couldn't believe how tight they were. They were so tight I already wanted them off.

"Don't you have some that are more my size?" I gasped.

"Those are your size, May. They are supposed to be that tight."

She then handed me a black shirt that I'm not sure could count as a shirt, maybe you could make it marginally fit the definition of a halter top. It had four straps across the back, but otherwise was entirely backless. The front was a loose diamond with sequined bands at the neck and hem. I now understood the bra.

"You can't be serious, Rose?" I asked incredulously.

"Oh I am, May."

"What if I refuse? I have plenty of sexy shirts that don't make me look like a street walker."

"You're going to be wearing a bachlorette tiara and sash – no one will mistake you for a whore. Besides you will have 23 friends with you to prevent any problems. Alice and I worked really hard to pick this outfit for you and Bella even approved it she said that even though it was incredibly sexy it still left your cleavage and ass fully covered and that even Jake would be okay with it."

"I'm not so sure, Jake would approve." I rolled my eyes at her suggestion.

"Well after he's been liquored up by my husband he probably will. I wouldn't know. Just trust me and put the shirt on."

"Don't call it a shirt – call it –" I paused trying to come up with an appropriate word, "– a bedroom top because that's the only place a lady should wear something that risque."

"May, just please put on the bedroom top – tonight _none_ of us are 'ladies'. We are hot women going out for a night on the town." I glared at her but pulled on the top. Rose then got dressed and we headed downstairs to meat the other girls.

Alice created some dares. I had 20 friends from Forest Ridge with me for the party and Alice, Bella, and Rose. Alice had a game going the whole time. She was quite pregnant by that time, but she still wanted to help run the party. We played a game of dare and anyone who refused to do a dare had to dance on a table at the club and scream 'I love dick!' We all had to wear bracelets to identify our age when we entered the club. The over 21 ladies wore black bracelets and the under 21 ladies wore blaze orange bracelets so they could be easily identified by the bar tenders and wait staff. Everyone in the group was over 18, since all of my friends had turned 18 or 19 over the course of the school year and summer.

Most of the dares found some way to embarrass me; everyone got two dares over the course of the night. I had to wear a 'Bachelorette' tiara and flashing sash. Alice's first dare was to hit on a guy with a horrible pick up line. It was hilarious watching her waddle up to a man at the bar and tell him 'My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.' His face was so funny first he was disgusted by the line and then confused by her huge belly. Her second dare was to get a hot guy to do a lap dance for me. Zafrina's first dare was to pinch 3 guys butts in 60 seconds; she did it with good spirits. Her second dare was to get up and imitate a drunken toast. Claire got an ultimate dare so if she succeeded she wouldn't have to do another dare. She had to convince five guys to pose shirtless behind me and get a picture taken. Carmen had to call a random number from the bathroom wall and for her second dare she had to request a horrible song from the DJ and say it was my favorite; she chose 'Achy Breaky Heart'. Bella had to request the Macarena and lead the dance and as her other dare she had to do an impersonation of Jacob. Rose had an ultimate dare to remove her bra swing it around her head and lead a Congo line through the room. The rest of the girls had to kiss random guys, drop notes in pockets with my name, use cheesy pick up lines, and hug random guys and ask why they never called. All in all it was a lot of fun and we were able to do it without drinking or using a stripper. I didn't even want to imagine what the men were subjecting Jacob to since he couldn't use the 'underage' excuse to tame down the activities.

After the party was over I got a call from Jake that he really wanted to see me and needed me to come over to his place. I went without hesitation.

**Coming up:**

**Embry called the next dare, "25 – Jake get three girls at the bar to kiss you on the lips."**

**I got up and went to the bar. Quil followed to witness my mad skills. I found a cluster of three girls together and cockily figured, _I may as well try to get them all at once_. "Hi Ladies, I'm Jake." I shook each of their hands as they said hello to me. "I'm getting married next month and tonight is my bachelor party." I smiled my best grin. They smiled back. "Anyway you see those five guys and this guy behind me. They challenged me to get you three ladies to kiss me and if I don't do it then I will have to take 25 paintball hits to my naked abs." I lifted my shirt and flashed my abs. "Now is there anyway I can get you ladies to help me out so these puppies," I ran a hand over my abs, "don't get damaged?" I put on a puppy dog face.**

**The girls started whispering among themselves and then one of them said, "We'll do it on one condition."**

**I smiled, "What's that?"**

"**We get to feel those 'puppies' that we are saving from damage for 30 seconds each."**

"**Feel away ladies." I lifted my shirt to my chest as each one took a turn running her hands over my abs. When each one was done I gave her a chaste kiss. After all three were done I said, "Thank you, ladies."**

**

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Reviews make me do a happy dance and you'll get a special preview of the bachelor party.

Oh and check out polyvore for visuals.

Prom from last chapter forgot to post it: www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/prom_outfit/set?id=18481182

and the bachelorette party: www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/bachelorette_party/set?id=18192782


	15. I Belong to You

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on/explore BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes RARE Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship.**

**Important Disclaimer:** I don't live the D/s, BDSM, or DD lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual.

Special thanks to my awesome beta **Sawny94**. This story is better because of your help. If you enjoy my story please check **Sawny94** out she was one of my inspirations. You're awesome.

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS!**

A taste of citrus, but not a whole glass of lemonade. FYI: The next two chapters have no citrus fruit, two chapters to the wedding and three to the start of the honeymoon and then you'll wonder if I do anything, but write lemons and make lemonade for about 6 chapters.

**Chapter Specific AN:  Jacob will be drunk for about 75% of this chapter. Now this is JPOV, however, I think getting the story across is more important than portraying his thoughts as drunken. So, you almost have to imagine a sober person in Jake's body recording all the events and retelling them even though he is completely plastered. If you prefer you can think of him as one of those people who gets smarter as they imbibe more alcohol. Thanks sawny94, for letting me know his POV doesn't match his drunken state. I also didn't want to use Edward's POV and/or Ness' POV. I thought it was important that this part of the story was told through Jake's eyes. Polyvores at bottom of page. Thank Sawny for an extra three pages of content which is also why this is later than I'd expected to get it to you, she recognized a missing piece of the chapter and I wrote it up last night so she could edit it today. Enjoy.**

Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while. Song lyrics belong to their authors.

~*O*~

Chapter 15 – I Belong to You

_When these pillars get pulled down,_

_It will be you who wears the crown,_

_And I'll owe everything to you_

_How much pain has cracked your soul?_

_How much love could make you whole?_

_You're my guiding lightning strike_

_I can't find the words to say,_

_But they're overdue,_

_I've traveled half the world to say,_

_I belong to you_

Muse, _I Belong to You_

~*O*~

JPOV

Bachelor Party

August 30, 2014

Edward and Emmett ended up planning my bachelor party together; Emmett really wanted to do it. Therefore, even though the idea of them working together to plan it was scary, the girls had unanimously decided that if Emmett was part of the planning process than Edward had to be part of it, too. I found that decision a bit amusing since Edward could probably plan something far more extreme if everyone knew about our past history. Thankfully they didn't, so Edward would indeed be responsible for taming Emmett's enthusiasm.

The people joining me for the party were Emmett, Edward, Jasper, Quil, Embry, and Seth Clearwater. Seth and I had become friends during my visits to La Push and I was looking forward to getting to know him better over the course of the next year. Apparently, he and Nessie have some of their general education classes together. I'm sure I'd be seeing him a fair amount.

Carlisle let Seth drive the Escalade to Seattle for the party, so we could all use one vehicle and, therefore, only have Seth as the designated driver for the evening. Seth was so excited to be joining the party that he could care less if everyone else was drunk and he was sober. Also the fact that he's 18 helped convince everyone that he was the best DD for the night.

Emmett wouldn't tell me the agenda and neither would Edward. Edward gave me a lecture about how I would have to give up control. I was fine with Edward being in charge, but what Emmett had planned worried me a bit. The guys showed up at 6pm and steeling myself for the coming mayhem, I got in the Escalade. Someone had programmed the GPS to give Seth instructions for the whole night, so no matter how shit faced we got we would end up at our next location. On the ride over, we began our first game, 'Don't Say a Word,' we each set a word that couldn't be used over the course of the night – saying any of those words or calling, Bella, Alice, Rose, or Ness by name resulted in having to take a shot each time. Seth was exempt from play so he didn't pick a word. The six words chosen were stripper, married, love, bachelor, party, and night.

Arriving at our first destination we went to the back room of the sports bar. The guys ordered buffalo wings, pizza, a couple pitchers of beer, and one of soda for Seth. Then Emmett pulled out a deck of cards and some bright green change.

"Okay, everyone starts with a dollar. I painted the change so you can't cheat." Emmett explained, handing us each one quarter, three dimes, four nickles, and twenty-five pennies. "Here is how the game works: we play until at least four of us are out of the game, then we can keep playing until the other players withdraw or run out of money. In the end either one, two, or three of us will walk away with prizes.

"I bet you are all wondering what the prizes are?" he asked excitement lighting his face. We all just looked at him with expressions that screamed, 'duh?' "Okay, in my hand I have fourteen dares, each dare can be purchased from the house for fifty cents. If you have less than fifty cents you can't purchase a dare, but you can give your funds to someone else. You can dare anyone in this room to do anything except for Seth who can not be asked to do anything involving alcohol. You can use a dare at anytime during the night..."

"SHOT!" Edward interrupted with an uncharacteristic excess of enthusiasm, since Emmett said 'night.' Edward wrote down that Emmett needed to take a shot when we saw the waitress next.

"The penalty for not completing a dare will be explained later in the _evening,_" Emmett continued dryly, "but let's just say it involves paintball in underwear. The giver of each dare will assign a penalty weight to his dare; if you choose not to complete that dare you will be marked for that penalty. Penalties may be any number between five and twenty five. Five being the least weight and twenty-five being the most.

"For example, every dare should be given loudly in the following form: 'Twenty-five – Jake, stand on the bar and announce that you have a tiny penis and are damned proud of it.' If he successfully completes his dare then he assigns one fifth of the penalty back to the dare giver. If not he takes the entire penalty. Please weight your dares by fives to keep the math to a minimum."

"Emmett are you planning on having us fire the penalty weight in paint balls at each other?" I asked. I knew how his mind worked and this could certainly turn sick.

"Yep. Firing squad style."

"So no matter what someone is getting hit?" I asked.

"Yep," he said, popping the 'p.'

"You are one sick mother fucker," I said, chuckling.

"Revenge for the pepper spray," he challenged as he shuffled the cards.

"Yeah, well – I want score kept by Edward and Seth to ensure honesty," I retorted, I knew my friend far too well to trust him with the score.

We played poker while we ate and drank. After about an hour we were down to just Edward, Embry, and Emmett in the game. Embry had three dollars and Emmett and Edward each had two dollars when they decided to call it a game. Embry would get six dares and Emmett and Edward would each get four. Each of us had taken at least two shots for 'Don't Say a Word.'

Emmett ordered another round of shots, and then put a rather disturbing porno on the flat screen. Not that I had a problem with porn, but this was really just two very old ladies eating each other out. To be honest for a while I was afraid that I was never going to be able to get it back up again after seeing that. But it's a bachelor party tradition for the four of us to find the grossest porn we can and force the groom to watch it. For Emmett's I got German obese porn, for Edward's Jasper got Japanese Bukkake porn, funny thing is Edward might have actually liked that shit, and for Jasper's Edward got one that had some older Russian chick doing a handstand and then pissing on herself. One of the rules is it has to be foreign and we can't know what it is when we order it. It's luck of the draw for the best man. I'm not even sure what country they got this one from, but it seems like it probably came from the old Soviet bloc.

Embry gave me my first dare of the evening just as the horrible porn ended. "Ten – Jake, wander into the Ladies' room and piss in the sink acting like it's a urinal and you're drunk."

"Who the fuck is going to witness that, dumb ass?" Emmett asked. "Are we ready to get thrown out of this bar? I mean we can move to a new bar, but maybe we should wait until we're all ready to go." The guys all said they were ready to go to a new bar if we got thrown out. "Then who's volunteering to witness – you need to make it look like you're trying to get Jake to leave or that you're just as confused as he is?"

"My dare – I'll do it," Embry called.

Emmett started chugging his beer. "I'm going to finish what I can of this before we get asked to leave." He gestured to move along, "Get on with it we have places to go and women to see."

I chuckled and got up Embry followed me into the ladies room. As I was pissing a woman walked out of one of the stalls. "Oh My!" she cried out as she stormed out.

I was just zipping up and washing my hands in the next sink when another woman walked in and looked confused. She stepped out and checked the door and then came back in, "You two are in the ladies room."

"We...are?" I slurred a bit, only buzzed, but I had to pretend to be drunk. Embry and I walked out just as the bouncers were coming around the corner.

"We're going to have to ask you to leave," one of them said.

"No problem, sir," Embry said. The other guys caught up with us on the side walk.

"Two points against Embry," I said. Seth and Edward both acknowledged the score and we headed to a karaoke bar on the same block. I was assigned three embarrassing, but easy dares there, from Edward for ten – sing 'I Will Always Love You' in a falsetto, from Embry for fifteen – sing and dance to 'All the Single Ladies,' and from Emmett for fifteen – sing and dance to 'It's Raining Men' using a falsetto. Embry used two dares to challenge Seth and Quil for twenty points each to french kiss for twenty seconds. They each rejected the dare and opted for the pain. We drank a lot in the couple of hours we were at that bar. When Edward gave me the dare I was just tipsy enough from the previous bar not to realize how many times 'love' is said in 'I Will Always Love You,' turns out the answer's twelve, Seth was counting carefully. Edward had to take one shot for assigning the dare and I owed twelve, which I drank over thirty minutes. By the end of those twelve shots I was definitely impaired; I was fucking giggling like a girl every time a new singer embarrassed themselves on stage. I was pretty wobbly. The other guys were drunk, but no where near my level, probably about half as drunk as me.

Just before we were leaving the Karaoke bar Emmett did something totally evil to Jasper, "Jazz, bro, you know I love you, right?" Jasper narrowed his eyes at Emmett.

"SHOT!" I screamed at Emmett's use of the word love. I was watching for that word carefully. I grinned proudly at catching him.

Emmett took his shot then continued with an evil gleam in his eye, "Twenty-five – Jasper – I dare you to announce your high school profession at the mic and perform a serious demonstration of said talent to some song they have here." Emmett chuckled at Jasper's expression.

Jasper was fuming. "I take the penalty! Oh – and Rosie will be hearing about that dare."

"C'mon man – what happens at the bachelor party stays at the bachelor party!" Emmett cried out, clearly upset that his plan had backfired, while Edward and I started laughing and Quil, Embry, and Seth looked confused. They were going back and forth fast enough that no one interrupted yet.

"Well – you brought Rosie into this. You wouldn't even know about that if she hadn't told you. So – you will have to suffer the consequences for bringing it up. You just violated her trust with that dare so you get to live with it – I'm glad to take twenty-five paintball hits to get to see the look on her face when I tell her." Jasper started laughing darkly.

"I'll take the dare back, man – just don't tell Rose!" Emmett begged, looking totally dumbstruck.

"No take backs," Jasper said dryly. Now we were all laughing at the predicament Emmett had gotten himself into.

Seth spoke up as we were laughing, "Jasper owes two and Emmett owes five."

Emmett and Jazz both downed their shots. "Well I may as well get myself deeper into hot water then," Emmett said and looked at me, " Twenty-five – Jake, get a girl in this bar to grab your cock for ten or more seconds."

His words sobered me for a second. Laughing darkly, I replied, "No way – I'll take the twenty-five; only Nessie touches my cock." Emmett had one dare left. I knew he was saving it for the strip club.

Edward laughed, "Twenty-five – Emmett – I dare you to call Rose right now and tell her about the two dares you just laid out."

"No way – it will be bad enough when Jazz does it. If I interrupt the bachelorette party she will fucking kill me and –" he gave us all a hard look "– she is never going to find out about the dare I just gave Jake. That is _none_ of her business. _Got it?_" Everyone nodded and laughed because Emmett just agreed to take twenty-five.

Seth spoke again, "Jake, Edward, and Emmett all owe a shot." We all took our shot, at that point not even caring what the reason was.

Embry called the next dare, "Twenty-five – Jake get three girls at the bar to kiss you on the lips."

I considered my options twenty-five more paint ball hits or three innocent kisses. I decided on the kisses, but thought for a minute, _Nessie, please forgive me._

I got up and stumbled to the bar, confident in my abilities with the opposite sex. Quil followed to witness my mad skills. I found a cluster of three girls together and cockily figured, I may as well try to get them all at once. "Hi Ladies, I'm Jake." I shook each of their hands as they said hello to me. "I'm getting married next month and tonight's my bachelor party." I smiled my best grin. They smiled back, a good sign. I continued, "Anyway you see those five guys and this guy behind me. They challenged me to get you three ladies to kiss me and if I don't do it then I will have to take twenty-five paintball hits to my naked abs." I lifted my shirt and flashed my six pack. "Now is there anyway I can get you ladies to help me out so these puppies," I ran a hand over my abs, "don't get damaged?" I put on a puppy dog face.

The girls started whispering among themselves and then one of them said, "We'll do it on one condition."

I smiled, "What's that?"

"We get to feel those 'puppies' that we are saving from damage for thirty seconds each."

"Feel away ladies." I lifted my shirt to my chest as each one took a turn running her hands over my abs. When each one was done I gave her a chaste kiss. After all three were done, I winked and said, "Thank you, ladies."

One stopped me before I walked away. "Hey, are any of your friends single?"

"Yeah the three darker ones are, but we'll only be here for a few more minutes. So – if you're interested you better let them know now."

As we got to the table Quil said, "Jake owes three shots for 'Don't Say a Word,' four if 'tonight' counts."

"Jake needs to wait thirty minutes before he takes those shots," Edward said. "I don't want to be cleaning up vomit or trying to carry your ass to the car."

I grinned drunkenly.

Jasper had just been given a ten point dare by Edward to use the worst pick up line he knew on a girl at the bar. Jasper walked up to the bar and I followed wanting to see what would happen. He found a girl and slurring his words, said, "Do I know you?" She responded that she didn't think so, to which he replied, "Because I'm having a hard time recognizing you with your clothes on." She swung out to slap him, but he spun away fluently and apologized to her before she could hit him. When we got back to the table the guys were getting ready to move on to the strip club with three dares remaining. The three girls I had kissed gave their numbers to Quil, Embry, and Seth while Jasper and I were at the bar.

When we got to the strip club the guys decided tonight didn't count since it was an independent word and therefore I owed three shots from when I talked to the three girls. The strip club was called Deja Vu and it was a full nude strip bar. Seth bought himself some juice and leaned back in a chair to enjoy the show. There were girls all around in various states of undress. "Edward, how do I tip a fully nude girl?" I asked.

Edward laughed at the question, "You know, that's a good question – maybe we should ask where the dollar bills go." He asked the bartender and was told to deposit money in their clothes and the more money they get the closer they get to nude. Once they reach full nudity give them money in their hands. Edward had to take two shots for using the phrase bachelor party in his chat with the bartender. He also got me my three while he was chatting. I downed them quickly and watched the entertainment. We hung out for about an hour and had two girls fully strip before us. Seth seemed to be enjoying it the most since he'd never been to a club before. I was sporting a semi. I am a man after all and there were naked women everywhere, but the alcohol was preventing me from getting fully aroused.

Emmett approached me, "Edward, Embry, and I decided at our last stop we would put you up to a triple dare – If you choose to accept this dare we will each take fifteen paintball hits. If you choose not to we will break it into three separate dares that create the same effect and you will only get five hits from each of us if you do it. You on the other hand risk 75 hits for not doing it."

"What's the fucking dare?" I asked, slurring my words, a little tired of his jabbering.

"Full strip show. You dance and remove your clothing all the way down to your birthday suit."

"How would it work otherwise?" I said slowly trying to enunciate, but failing.

He understood anyway and slurred back, "Twenty-five to strip everything except your boxers, twenty-five for dancing as part of the show, and one dare remains in my hands."

"I take the break down."

"Okay – Jake," he gave me an evil smile and I was suddenly very worried about what he had planned.

I did my wobbly strip tease and removed everything except my boxers while dancing. The guys were howling in laughter and I actually got tipped by a few girls who were at the club with their boyfriends. The bouncers didn't take well to guests taking their clothes off and we were escorted out. Emmett had grabbed my clothes and left me without any.

Our next stop was paintball which Emmett had set up privately for us. I didn't think we'd be allowed to play drunk, but he said it was under control. Seth tallied up the score. Emmett's last dare was still outstanding and I knew it would be directed at me. Emmett was due for twenty-eight hits, Jasper and I earned twenty-five, Quil and Seth were at twenty, Embry was taking fifteen, and Edward was taking ten. The order was decided to go least to greatest. Emmett and I would be the last two and after I had taken my first twenty-five he would give me my dare. Emmett never did return my clothes, so I was standing in the drizzle in just boxers. When Emmett explained again that we would be firing on each other firing squad style, I thought it was fine, but both Edward and Jasper decided was a bad idea with the amount that we had to drink and the fact that we'd only be in our underwear. We unanimously decided that since Quil and Seth drank the least, Quil would shoot at Seth and Seth would shoot at everyone else.

Edward went first; he stripped down and asked me to hold his clothes, so Emmett didn't take them. Seth released the ten paint balls in quick succession across Edwards stomach. Edward didn't even flinch, but I knew he'd had worse during his training as a Dom. When he came back to grab his clothes, I asked how it felt. He whispered, "Four quick hard cane hits is worse. It would have been worse if Seth hadn't shot them all in rapid succession. I'll tell Seth to to slow down for Emmett. If he had counted to three or four between each shot it would have been like a slow hard caning without a warm up."

Embry flinched and cursed through his fifteen. Then it was Quil's turn for his twenty. Quil stepped out of his cargo shorts and we all just stared at the mother fucker. He was wearing Batman boxers. He would never live this down amongst us.

"Dude, are those for real?" Embry asked as we all started snickering.

"I didn't know we'd end up out here in our underwear!" Quil hollered back.

"But, you knew you were going to Jake's bachelor party; you could have been getting laid tonight!" Seth laughed.

"Seth owes two shots!" I called out, a little too far gone to realize Seth was exempt.

"Dude, I'm DD. I can say anything I want." He laughed then listed the words smugly, "May, Nessie, Rose, Alice, Bella, bachelor, party, married, night, love, and strippers."

"Fuck you," I muttered.

"Back to Quil's underwear..." Emmett started, "where the fuck do you even buy those?"

"None of your business! Let's get this shit over with." Quil said as he took his place and waited for Seth to fire at him. Quil also cursed and flinched.

Seth seemed better prepared, like he'd done this before. He took the hits without even flinching. Quil was a bit slower than Seth too since he had some alcohol in his system and he was being extremely careful not to hit Seth in the face or groin. Jasper flinched, but remained silent as Seth laid the twenty-five hits in rapid succession. While Jasper was taking his hits I warmed up my abs for my hits by slapping them several times so I wouldn't bruise too bad from my hits. I still didn't know what my dare would be, I might have to take an additional twenty-five. I knew what to expect, so I didn't call out or flinch, but it fucking stung. I saw Edward whisper something to Seth as Emmett came up with my cell phone.

Emmett made his demand, "Twenty-five, Jake, call your fiance and tell her you desperately need to see her tonight. When she gets to your house you need to greet her naked at the front door and ask her for a pop rock blow job."

"A pop rock blow job?" I asked, incredulously. He seriously wanted me to ask Ness for a pop rock blow job at my fucking front door.

"Yep," he said popping the 'p.'

"Where the fuck am I going to get pop rocks at this hour?"

"We have two boxes in the van that were supposed to be a gift to you for later, but I think tonight is better."

"I don't have to stay in the common areas of the house, do I? I don't want her to feel uncomfortable – we keep it in the bedroom." The guys could fuck with me, but nobody messed with my Nessie!

Edward laughed, "She didn't keep it in the bedroom at my house."

"Shut the fuck up, Edward!" I snapped, "That is no one's fucking business and you know it!"

"Wait – maybe I should change the dare to 'tell me what the fuck you are talking about'?" Emmett said quickly.

I snapped, "No take backs, mother fucker! I accept the dare as long as she doesn't have to perform in front of anyone and we can be in my bedroom. You'll just have to trust me."

"Hey," Emmett clipped back, "she doesn't have to do anything except show up. The dare was you ask her standing naked at your front door, which requires that you call her now and ask her to meet you back at your place. Remember, you have to tell her you 'desperately need' to see her or you 'desperately need' her."

"Got it. Whose witnessing the call and me asking? Anyone, but you." I was fucking pissed he was putting Ness in an awkward position. My abs were in pain from the hits too, that and my drunken state, further fueled my rage at him.

"I'll do it," Edward volunteered, I breathed a sigh of relief, I knew that I could trust Edward to be respectful and discreet.

"Won't that be awkward?" Jasper asked.

"Nope. Edward's perfect," I replied. Jasper looked at us with a confused face as I took my phone from Emmett. Edward and I walked off.

"Sorry about that, man," Edward started, "I didn't realize I'd said that until after it was already out."

"It's okay," I responded. "I just don't want Nessie embarrassed and Emmett's already proven that he will talk – I still can't believe he dared Jazz to dance."

"You owe a shot when we get back to your place. You, may want to use a pet name on the phone or you won't be standing up for your pop rock blow job." He chuckled.

"Sure, sure." I speed dialed and put the phone to my ear.

She answered on the second ring, "Hey, Jake, I didn't expect to hear from you until tomorrow." I could tell she was not only surprised, but happy to hear from me.

"Hey, Babe, I just desperately need to see you tonight."

"Really? Is everything okay?" her voice betrayed her worry, "I know Emmett had big plans, but I hope it wasn't too rough on you."

"Everything's fine. Can you meet me at my place?"

"Of course. I just have to grab some clothes for tomorrow at home and put my hair up since the top's down on the Mustang and then I'll be over. It'll be about 45 minutes, is that okay?"

"That's great, Babe. I love you." Edward signaled me with a drinking motion. _Fuck! I said love again._

"I love you too, Jake. I'll see you shortly."

"See ya then." I hung up the phone and we headed back to the group.

Seth was making everyone count each of Emmett's hits. "Your idea?" I said quietly to Edward. He just smiled and nodded slightly.

"Twenty – nine!" We heard the group call out as Emmett screamed, "Mother Fucker!" Between each shot Seth was lowering the rifle and then raising it again to take fresh aim. We joined the group for the last four hits. Emmett screamed a curse each time as we all howled in laughter.

"Alright, Mother Fuckers! We're done!" Emmett screamed after the thirty third shot to his bare abs.

"Can I have my clothes back?" I asked.

"Not 'til we get back to your place and you complete your dare," Emmett answered. We loaded back into the SUV and Seth drove us back to my place. After I took my two shots Emmett gave my clothes to Edward and handed me two boxes of pop rocks packets in Cherry and Watermelon flavors. Then he, Jazz, and Seth returned to the Escalade to wait for Edward.

I stripped out of my boxers – nothing Edward hadn't seen before. I put the pop rocks in my bedroom and waited for Ness to arrive. A few minutes later I heard the doorbell ring – Nessie was here. I went to the door and opened it. Edward was standing behind me toward the back corner of the foyer. I was standing there buck ass naked and Nessie was wearing the sexiest outfit I had ever seen her in.

Her appearance screamed, 'Fuck me now!' and in my drunken state I did not stop and think that she was joining me directly from her own bachelorette party. Her hair was up, but had a windswept sex-hair look to it. Her make up accentuated her eyes and her pink lips were glistening. She was wearing a black diamond shaped halter top and a pair of tight ass jeans. Her heels made the outfit though; black four inch stilettos with straps crisscrossing her perfect feet. I stood there my jaw agape and dick hardening until Edward snapped me out of my staring with a cough.

Nessie was startled by the cough and suddenly was blushing because of Edward's presence. She didn't seem bothered by my nakedness, but was staring at my abs.

"Jake," Edward said cautiously, "I know you two are enjoying staring at each other right now, but I think it may be wise to invite May in, just in case a neighbor decides to walk by."

"Of course. Nessie would you mind stepping inside? I have to ask you something." I said as I stepped back and motioned into the house.

"Sure," she said as she stepped in, "but is there some reason you answered the door naked and Edward is here?" I closed the door behind her and got my first glimpse of her back. It was almost completely bare except for a thin 'X' at the top and 'V' at the base of her spine. I got even harder. I wanted to rip the clothes off of her and explore every delectable inch of her body.

"Well I'll explain all that in just a second. I need to ask you something kinda vulgar first and you don't need to answer, but Edward can't leave 'til I ask."

"Okay..." she said hesitantly.

"Nessie, would you give me a pop rock blow job?" I smiled sheepishly.

"What's a pop rock blow job?" She asked as Edward handed me my clothes and slid past us to get to the door. I started to bend down to put my boxers back on. "Just wait, Jake," she said as Edward finally left.

"I thought you'd be more comfortable if I had some clothes on," I explained.

"Let's go up to the bedroom and then we can both get more comfortable," she replied quickly. Then turned to walk away taking a quick glance over her shoulder. "You coming?"

I followed her upstairs and into the bedroom still carrying my clothes. She sat down on my bed. I closed the door and stood against the doorway.

"Before I even consider your request, you have some questions to answer," she began. I nodded. "First why are your abs covered in orange paint." I looked down and saw the paint.

I had forgotten the state of my midsection since I was so enthralled by her outfit. "Ummm... I refused a dare..."

"What was the dare?"

"Can't tell you..." I said.

"Why not?"

"What happens at the bachelor party stays at the bachelor party..." I said hesitantly.

"Okay... Can you at least tell me where or what the orange paint came from?"

"Paintball gun..."

"Oh my word! Who the devil shot your bare abs?" She got up and came over to me and gave me a gentle hug.

"Can't tell you that either..." I stroked her bare back.

"Okay, Baby," she said soothingly. "Are you okay? I imagine you're in a lot of pain right now."

"Yeah I'm fine." The alcohol dulled most of the pain. I kissed her and drove my tongue into her sweet mouth. Her lips tasted like watermelon candy. I licked my lips as I pulled away.

"Do you want me to clean the paint off?" She asked with a smile.

"I'd rather you do something else," I said suggestively.

"Oh... so are you going to tell me what a pop rock blow job is?" She bit her lip.

"You put pop rocks in your mouth then suck my cock..." I replied.

"And you have pop rocks..."

"Yep." I pointed to the night stand that held two boxes of pop rocks.

"Okay, lay down on the bed Jake. I need to get out of these clothes. The jeans are a bit too tight."

"Can you leave on the shirt and the shoes?" I asked hopefully. "Those are really hot!"

"Sure, sure." She giggled as she bent down to take her shoes off. I went over to the bed and laid on my side. "Jake, I would have thought you would be upset that I wore this tonight." _Why would I be upset? _ Some part of my mind was whispering in a tiny voice, _you'll be upset in the morning_, but my horny side had taken over and was screaming, _show me more skin and move on with the blow job!_

"No, Babe, I'm not upset at all. If we weren't waiting, I'd take you on this bed right now," I said huskily.

"I'm confused, Jake," her brow wrinkled adorably. "I thought you didn't want me to dress this way in public?" She unbuttoned her pants to reveal a satiny black thong. She pealed the pants off her legs and slid her feet back into her heels.

"Normally, I don't... but I've had a lot to drink tonight... and that outfit is just such a turn on... you'll save it for later right?" I said while thinking, _I want to fuck you while you wear that top and those shoes._

She giggled and then got onto the bed. "Anything you want, my Jacob."

"Anything?" I replied happily.

"Anything... just tell me what you want and I'll do it."

"First decide what flavor of pop rocks looks the best for you." She crawled over my prone form reaching for the nightstand and gave me a perfect view of her luscious ass.

"Hmm... I think watermelon would be best."

My hand reached up and caressed her firm globes. "Whichever you want, Babe..." Then I thought of something I hadn't considered – pop rocks are a fairly rare candy. "Ness, have you ever had pop rocks before?"

"Nope." She smiled over her shoulder at me.

"Bring the box over here then and come lay next to me for a minute. I want you to try them first. You may not like the sensation." She grabbed the box and flopped down next to me.

"Why wouldn't I like them?"

"Well the flavor is like any candy, but having them in your mouth is quite different. They tingle and pop and foam, sort of like the volcanoes kids make in grade school science projects."

"That sounds weird..."

"Just try 'em, Babe... I would rather you know what they taste and feel like before we use 'em on my cock or your pussy."

"Are you going down on me tonight?" She asked, with her eyes hooded with lust as she opened the box.

If possible my dick got even harder seeing her obvious lust. "Well maybe, let's see where my stamina is – I'm pretty far gone from all the shots I took tonight and it is almost one am. I promise if I don't tonight I will in the morning." I grabbed a packet out of the box and tore it open. "Open up." She parted her lips and I tipped the packet so some of the crystals fell into her mouth. Some hit her lips. She closed her mouth and darted her tongue out to lick her lips.

"Mmmm..." She smiled and her eyelids shut. I poured some of the packet into my own mouth and felt the micro-explosions on my tongue.

"D'you like them?" She nodded. I was getting a pop rock blow job. I couldn't wait to get her full lips wrapped around my cock. This was a spectacular ending to a bachelor party.

"So how do I do this?" She licked her lips again.

I groaned, "Well you have two options, pour the candy onto my cock and then lick it off or put it in your mouth and then lick and suck as you like."

"Okay... give me a few packets this could take a while..." I handed her the candy and smiled at her while I finished the open packet.

Nessie positioned her body perpendicular to mine and got on all fours. I rolled so I was on my back. She stared at my cock longingly while she tore open a packet of the candy. She poured a thin stream of the candy over my cock. She then took her soft sweet lips and wrapped them around just my head. She swirled her tongue around and moistened the tip and I practically came from the intense tingling. She moaned against my cock and then slowly dribbled some saliva down my shaft. I felt the candy tingling against my shaft while she slowly moved her lips further and further down my base.

When my cock reached the back of her throat she worked me slowly out of her mouth again. When my cock was all the way out of her mouth she licked me from balls to tip all around. I used this as an opportunity to massage her ass and tease her pussy with my fingers. When she had fully moistened my shaft she lifted her head up and poured more candy on me.

"Ohhhhhh... Fuck!" I exclaimed as I felt tingling through my entire cock.

"You like that, my Jacob?" She then engulfed my cock in her tight hot wet mouth.

"Mmmm...hmmm..." I moaned. I slid her panties to the side and teased her soft wet lips. She started increasing her speed and pressure as she moaned from my soft work on her wet lips.

I gently slid one finger into her tight channel. She released my cock and lifted her head as she cried out from the sensation. "Ahhhh..."

In my drunken state I forgot that I wasn't supposed to be penetrating her before the wedding. "Are you okay Ness?" I asked suddenly concerned. I slid my finger back out.

"I'm fine. I just didn't expect that and it..." she trailed off and blushed.

"It what, sweetheart?"

"It felt ummm..." she mumbled something.

"I couldn't hear you Nessie. Did I hurt you Baby?" I couldn't forgive myself if I had hurt her or made her uncomfortable.

She shook her head. "It felt amazing..." she was blushing.

"You don't need to be shy about telling me what feels good. I need to know, sweetie. Come here." I opened my arms. "Can I just hold you for a minute?" She nodded and moved into my arms with her back against my chest. I held her tightly while I kissed her neck, ears, shoulder, and jaw. A gasp escaped her sweet lips and Ness pushed her backside into my groin, but I was oblivious to the signals she was sending me. I focused instead on my own guilt. "I'm sorry I violated your comfort zone," I whispered between kisses. "I never should have agreed to that dare."

"Jacob, I'm okay. You really don't need to apologize." Her movements stopped and she replied, beginning to sound impatient, "I really didn't realize how good your fingers could feel when I said I wanted to wait for that. But, which dare are you talking about?"

"Me answering the door naked and asking for the blow job was a dare. You don't have to feel any obligation to me. I should have stopped when we got to the bedroom. I'm too drunk to be a gentleman tonight. I violated you and your trust." She rolled over so she was facing me and looked up with fiery eyes.

"Don't start with that crap Jacob. I knew exactly how drunk you were when I walked into this room and Rose and Alice had warned me of just how drunk you would probably be. I'm surprised you are able to stand on your own, much less have rational thoughts. I knew what I was agreeing to when I told you not to put your boxers back on. If I had been the least bit hesitant I could have stopped this at anytime. I'm the sober one here. I didn't have a single thing to drink tonight. You probably drank close to a half a bottle of hard liquor judging from your smell and taste. I'm the rational one here," she railed at me angrily. "You seem to think that I had no idea it was a dare. I may be naïve Jake, but I'm not that fucking naïve. Edward was standing in the foyer and you would never answer your door naked unless you had to. You have too much respect for yourself and me to do that. Besides you tried to put your boxers on and I stopped you! I wanted this and I want you inside me again, dammit I need you, but that isn't going to happen tonight because now I'm angry and you've ruined the mood."

I was stunned. She got up slipped off her shoes, pulled off her shirt, and then I swear she peeled something that looked like chicken cutlets off her tits before grabbing her robe out of the closet. She put it on and tied it off with a huff then walked out of the bedroom. I was so confused. A few minutes later she walked back in with a stack of towels and a small bucket.

"Nessie, I'm sorry," I began, "I never meant to upset you." She looked down at me with soft eyes and silenced me with two fingers on my lips.

"Shush, my Jacob. Just relax and let me take care of you. I need you to just be quiet right now. I don't want you to say anything more until you sober up. Okay?" I nodded. "Thank you, we'll talk in the morning."

She took a cloth out of the bucket and began to gently clean my abs with the warm wet washcloth. She slowly and gently cleaned the paint off of my stomach and then moved the cloth down to my dick presumably to get the stickiness from the candy off. Her soft, gentle washing made my cock harden again. She looked at me with torn expression, like she couldn't decide what would be best.

"Jacob, please don't talk right now, but I want you to nod or shake your head. Can I take care of you? I don't want you to do anything to me until morning when you're fully sober, but I really want to take care of you right now. Is that okay, Jake?" Could I really deny her anything? It was incredibly selfish to let her pleasure me and not return the favor especially given her earlier anger, but would it make her even angrier if I said no? I hesitated as I considered the possible implications of either decision. I must have hesitated too long because she sighed and said, "Never mind. We'll talk in the morning. I love you." She dried me off and then took the towels and pail out of the bedroom. She came back in a minute later, turned out the lights, and cuddled up next to me.

I felt her shaking a few minutes later. I couldn't keep quiet any longer when I realized she was crying.

"Nessie... Sweetheart, are you crying?" She didn't respond. "Honey, I know you're angry, but please talk to me." She still didn't respond. I turned on my lamp. Tears were streaming down her face. I took my thumb and wiped some away. "Nessie, can you just talk to me? I was an idiot..."

"STOP!" She screamed loudly. I was dumbstruck. "I'm not angry at you, Jake!" she said after a minute then she sat up.

Suddenly, I heard knocking at my door. "Is everything okay? I heard a scream," one of the guys yelled through the door.

"Everything's fine," I yelled.

"I'd like to hear that from Ness. No offense, Jake, but you aren't the one who screamed," he yelled back.

Nessie got up and groaned. She opened the door and said, "I'm fine. I just got upset about something. Jake would _never_ hurt me. Please go back to bed, Quil, if you hear me yell again please ignore it. I'll try to keep it down. Thank you for your concern. We're both a bit emotional right now." She closed the door as Quil walked away.

Honestly, I was scared to say anything. Everything I said made the situation worse. She sighed as she made her way back to the bed. I gave her a sad look.

"Jake, I need you to stop apologizing if we're going to have this conversation tonight. Otherwise, can we wait until morning? I can not handle you apologizing for anything else tonight. I can't handle any self-flagellation or remorse from you tonight. You're drunk and I expected that. I didn't expect such self-loathing tonight; months ago you agreed to stop calling yourself names and doubting yourself. You just rejected me and I need time to process that. So, right now I need you to either let me sleep until morning and then talk this through or I need you to stop with the self-hate and let me talk to you. If you can't do either of those things then I am going to sleep on the couch because I'm not up for fighting with you tonight. Neither of us is in a state for a toe to toe right now. So just please let this go until morning or listen and don't apologize. If we talk and I hear one negative word about yourself or one word of apology then I'm ending the conversation and sleeping on the couch. I'm not up for it tonight."

_How could I talk and not apologize for making her feel rejected? _ I breathed deeply and resolved to try to listen without apologizing. "I'll listen. I'm not going to be able to sleep until you tell me what's wrong."

"I'm not sure _I_ fully understand what's wrong," she said softly as she tucked a wisp of stray hair behind her ear. "I know that initially I was upset that you thought you violated me, then I made an offer and you essentially refused it and that made me sad, and then I was pissed when you called yourself an idiot, but that isn't all of it. I feel irrationally moody tonight and I think it may be PMS since today was my last day of active pills, but I'm most angry at myself because I am responding with such volatility. I'm not in a good place right now and I can't have you compounding that with your apologies. I get much angrier when you get this way. Tonight I just wanted to be close to you and I screwed up when I cried out. I was surprised, but I really did want more. I needed to bring you pleasure tonight and you didn't want it – that hurt, but I don't want you to apologize. I just wanted to be held while I cried. I'm pissed at myself and I need you to stop trying to take the blame from me."

I opened my arms. "C'mere, sweetheart. Let me hold you. We don't have to talk any more tonight. I won't apologize, but please don't be angry at yourself. Just let me hold you." Nessie laid down in my arms. "I love you. Cry if you need to." She started to sob into my chest. I held her tightly and rubbed her back. "Shush, Babe, I love you. I'm here. Everything will be okay in the morning." I just kept soothing her until she fell asleep in my arms. I followed shortly after, feeling guilty about the position I'd put us both in.

~*O*~

A few hours later my alarm clock went off. It was four-thirty; I quickly turned it off and got up to relieve myself. I was fucking burnt out and my abs were throbbing. I went down stairs and grabbed some water. I would not be running today with this pain. I took some acetaminophen and went back upstairs to the bedroom to go back to sleep.

Before sliding back into bed I saw the weird chicken cutlet things on the dresser and decided to get a better look at them. I walked over and looked at them carefully, they were definitely some sort of synthetic material they were smooth and squishy, but they had some weight to them too. I couldn't figure out how they adhered to Nessie's skin since they didn't feel sticky. I balled my fist and pressed one onto the back of my hand then flipped it over. _Wow - it stays!_ I peeled it off and accidentally dropped it to the floor while playing with it. It landed next to the shirt Ness had tossed on the floor the night before. I picked both up and set the cutlet things back on the dresser while I looked at the shirt.

She wore this in public? My Nessie actually wore that out of the house. Who the fuck convinced her that was okay? What else did they put her up to? I brought the shirt to my nightstand to remind me to talk to her about it in the morning and I reset the alarm for eight am. Nessie and I would have to go to the eleven o'clock Mass. I wanted to really talk before we went to church, but I knew we both desperately needed more sleep.

~*O*~

At eight the alarm started buzzing again. I woke up and turned it off. Nessie turned toward me and smiled gently.

I smiled back and said, "Good morning. Can I speak freely now that I'm sober or do you need more time?"

"What time is it?" she asked softly.

"Eight."

She looked surprised by my answer. "Don't we need to get to Mass?"

"We can go to the eleven o'clock; I thought we could both use the extra sleep."

She relaxed slightly. "Oh, okay. So I guess you probably want to talk after my flip out last night," she said hesitantly.

"It wasn't a flip out, but yes, I do want to talk about last night. We need to talk about last night."

"Okay..." She bit her lip.

"Do you want to stay in bed or do you want to do this toe to toe style?"

"I prefer we stay in bed."

"Okay, we can do that then, but I need you to promise to let me speak my piece. I understand why you stopped me last night, but if you can't handle me saying all the things I need to then we are going to have to do this toe to toe. There are things that need to be said and I let you control the conversation last night, but I won't allow that now that I'm in my right mind. Can you accept that?"

She nodded.

"Sweetheart, I can not even begin to express how sorry..." She opened her mouth to speak. I covered her lips with two fingers. "No, Nessie," I said gently. "It's your turn to listen, now."

She nodded.

"I'm so sorry for everything last night. I made mistakes. I did something I had promised to wait to do and then I reacted badly to your enjoyment. I angered you; for that I'm sorry. I was so wrapped up in avoiding setting you off again that I didn't agree to your request. I made you feel rejected. I'm sorry for that as well, but Nessie let me be crystal clear. I wanted you desperately, but I couldn't figure out how to accept your offer without being selfish. I want things between us to go both ways. I don't like to just receive pleasure I _need_ to give it as well.

"You made it clear what you wanted last night and I didn't understand your motivations in my state of mind. I was trying to do the right thing. I screwed up. Then when you were upset, I couldn't abide by your earlier requests of silence, so I pushed you to your breaking point. I just wanted you to talk to me. You had already asked several times for me to be silent and I didn't respect your request, for that I'm also sorry. I love you Nessie and I never want to hurt you. I don't want to upset you, but it is something that is going to happen between us sometimes. Can you forgive me?"

She looked into my eyes. "I can, but you weren't the only one who was wrong last night. I know it was unreasonable of me to ask for silence. I know I made the offer to take care of you and didn't give you time to process it. I basically pushed myself into a corner then made you feel guilty about it. I know I shouldn't have felt rejected, but I did." Her lip started to quiver and I could see tears welling up. "I'm sorry I was such a moody bitch last night." I pulled her in close. She started to sob.

"Shush... You weren't being a bitch. Just relax. Let it go. I forgive you and there's no need to talk about it any more." She held onto me tightly as I shushed her and rubbed her back.

When she finally quieted I kissed her gently and said, "I love you so much, Nessie. Never doubt my love or my desire for you. I wanted you so bad last night. Today is the last day we can do anything like that though per our earlier agreement to be totally abstinent for the next ten days. So tell me, do you want to do anything today or do you want to leave today as day of abstinence as well?"

She bit her lip while she considered it.

"Sweetie, I won't be bothered either way. Just tell me what you want," I said gently.

"I want to, but it feels wrong. I just feel like we should wait. Maybe it was a blessing things ended where they did last night so we can respect our earlier decisions. I know I would have come undone under your magical fingers last night if we hadn't stopped when we did. I don't know how far either of us would have gone, but we both were a bit out of our normal mindsets and things went further than they would have normally."

"You're right." I kissed her softly. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, my Jacob." We kissed and cuddled for a while.

When I stood up to get ready for the day, I noticed the shirt. I turned back to her and held up the shirt. "Hey, Ness, we need to talk about this too."

She got up and knelt back on her heels. "I thought you were okay with it?"

"What in the world would make you think I was okay with my bride to be dressed like this?" I shook the top in my hand to make the point.

"You said you weren't upset about it. I even asked you and you said you weren't upset."

"Sorry that I said that, but I wasn't exactly in my right mind last night as you pointed out."

"What do you want out of this, Jacob?"

"I want you to acknowledge that when we belong to each other you can't dress like this and you can't flaunt your body like you're available for the taking. In ten days, you're mine and I don't want to be the bad guy if you ever dress like this again, but I will be."

"That's fine! I didn't even want to wear the damned thing anyway!" she yelled as she rose up off her heels.

"Then why did you?" I bellowed back, letting my temper get the best of me.

"Rose told me I had to!"

"Rose doesn't answer to me! You do!"

"What did you expect me to do? She's so pushy!"

"I expect you to remember me, like I remembered you last night. You wanna know how I ended up being shot in the abs, Ness? I refused a dare to let a girl grab my cock! You know why I did that?"

She shook her head not daring to say a word.

"Because my cock belongs to you!"

She nodded again, I could see tears forming, but I was still pissed she let Rose push her around.

"What else did the girls 'force' you to do?" I accentuated the word, force, with air quotes.

"The shirt was the worst. Nothing else was questionable. What about you?" she asked softly.

I hadn't considered that this would turn into a full confession before I'd asked my question. I hesitated for a second then decided to just come clean. "I pissed in a ladies room sink and a woman saw me and I pecked three girls on the lips and let them touch my abs."

I watched Nessie wipe her eyes as her face changed from shame to anger. Nessie was more possessive of me than I was of her. "Jacob Ephraim Black! You are such a hypocrite! You're upset my back was exposed and you fucking pissed in a sink and let a woman see what's mine! Didn't you just say that you're cock belongs to me? Than what the fuck are you doing letting any girl see it? And why did you let girls kiss you and touch you!"

"Would you rather I took another thirty-five hits? I would have, but I didn't think you'd care about me chastely kissing some random girls and pissing in a sink! I thought you'd be more upset about me getting hit by paintballs than me doing those things!" I spat back. "Do you have the threat of physical pain to explain your actions?"

"No, I'm grateful you didn't get more hurt, but I'm just mad that you seem to be holding me to a double standard."

I took a deep breath and calmed my temper. "Renesmee, did you think for even one second that I would be okay with your choice to wear this?" I held up the shirt.

She shook her head and looked down.

"I didn't think so." I dropped the shirt and gently cupped her face in my hands. "I'm upset that you let Rose push you around. You need to learn to stand up for yourself, no matter who you're dealing with. I can't always be there to stand up for you. You need to stand by your choices and live with the consequences, not blame other people."

"And what consequences do I face for this choice?" she asked softly, submissively leaning into my hands.

"We both have to live with each others' disappointment, sweetheart. We're never gonna be the bride and groom at bachelor and bachelorette parties again, so I don't think we'll ever be in this situation again. I see no need to punish you for this. There's no reason for you to worry about it anymore. Do you want to punish me for my choices?"

"No. I just want you to hold me."

I sat on the bed and pulled her to me. "I love you so much, Baby."

"I love you too, my Jacob."

"I'm so sorry for disappointing you and for yelling, Ness."

"I'm sorry too."

"You know I'm yours, right?" I asked softly.

"Yes, my Jacob, just like I'm yours," she replied sincerely.

I kissed her forehead and we both held each other tightly.

~*O*~

**Coming up:**

"**Nessie and I are so happy you'll all be sharing tomorrow with us. I wanted to take the time to thank some of you personally tonight since tomorrow only Edward and Bella will be making toasts." Bella gasped. "What – didn't you know the Matron of Honor is supposed to make a toast, too?" Everyone started laughing. "Didn't Alice tell you?" **

"**Jacob Black!" Alice screamed. "You know damn well that Nessie planned the whole wedding to be a surprise for you tomorrow. You don't know the itinerary so don't make assumptions."**

"**Sorry, Alice. I should have known better than to mess with a pregnant pixie!" Jacob chuckled a little.**

**Alice glared at him until Emmett coughed out, "Hormones!" She turned her gaze on Emmett. "Did I say that out loud?" He quieted while everyone laughed at him.**

"**Anyway, back to my speech." Jake chuckled. "I'd like to thank the glorious woman standing next to me for agreeing to be my wife. I'll never know why God granted me your love, Ness. I'll try everyday to live up to your expectations and provide you with the life you deserve. You are my everything. I can't wait to see you walking toward me in the morning. Thank you for loving me. I love you, Ness." Before I could answer he crashed his lips to mine and kissed me passionately. The boys were cat calling and wolf whistling. I was breathless when he pulled away. "There are a few other people I need to thank specially."**

"**I hope you won't thank them like that!" Embry called.**

**~*O*~**

**Visual stimulation- Polyvores**

**Bachelorette Party Reminder so you can see the shirt: www (dot) polyvore (dot) com/bachelorette_party/set?id=18192782 **

**Bachelor Party: www (dot) polyvore (dot) com/bachelor_party/set?id=18202902 **


	16. Gifts and Family Fun

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on/explore BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes RARE Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship.**

Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s, BDSM, or DD lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual.

**Special thanks to my awesome beta Sawny94. This story is better because of your help. If you enjoy my story please check Sawny94 out she was one of my inspirations. You're awesome.**

I am still seeking a grammar nut if you want to help me out.

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS! **

Visual Stimulation at the end of the chapter. Sorry, no citrus flavor in this chapter, but the wedding is up next. After that we get honeymoon love! YAY!

**Chapter Specific AN: There is some content that may be offensive. ** In this chapter Rose (along with Bella and Alice) make some generalizations about 'lesbian bed death.' I have a couple things to say about this. 1. The content is based on a real conversation between me and an older friend of mine explaining 'being a starfish.' She has no prejudice, but she made some generalizations that were inappropriate – I have used her words between Rose, Alice, and Bella. 2. This conversation is between three 20-something heterosexual women schooling three 18/19 year old heterosexual catholic school girls who are a bit sheltered. 3. Lesbian bed death is not caused by the things Rose implies, but rather by the way surveyors define 'sexual activity' and the lessened need for sexual activity as emotional bonds grow between women. There is a Wikipedia article that explains this well if you are interested. 4. I am fully aware that sexual activity between women can and does include a whole range of 'play' and do not need to be schooled in that. 5. All that said, I still wanted to include this conversation in my story with the full awareness that it may upset some of my readers.

I support homosexual rights and have no bias against homosexuals. I always fight vehemently for gay marriage arguing that allowing people who love each other to get married does not damage or impede straight marriage and it is only bigotry and fear that prevents gay marriage in most of the United States. I even have argued with my brother in law, a minister from Canada who argues that it shouldn't be law because it endangers religious organizations tax-exempt status if they refuse to marry a gay couple. I know that was kind of long winded, but I would rather not get hate mail on this issue.

**Last Chapter** many of my readers were upset that Jacob was being hypocritical. He absolutely was. However, there are times in our lives when we are all hypocritical. Jake was also far more concerned that Nessie allowed herself to be pushed into something she wasn't comfortable with. He knows his girl and his girl wouldn't have willingly worn that shirt.

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while.**

Chapter 16 – Gifts and Family Fun

~*O*~

_Celebrate good times, come on!_

_It's a celebration_

_Celebrate good times, come on!_

_Let's celebrate_

_We're gonna have a good time tonight_

_Let's celebrate, it's all right_

_We're gonna have a good time tonight_

_Let's celebrate, it's all right_

_Celebration,_ Kool and the Gang

RPOV

Saturday, September 6, 2014

The Saturday before the wedding I went to the spa with Bella, Alice, Rose, Zee, and Carmen. Alice and Rose selected which treatments I would receive and I was expecting massages, pedicures, and facials, but every one was surprised when Rose ordered me a Brazilian Bikini wax. Both Zee and Carmen were suddenly extremely interested in the Salon products on the shelves in the lobby.

"Rose, do you think that is really necessary?" Bella asked quietly. "She's still a virgin."

"Not for long," Rose replied bluntly.

"Well, shouldn't I leave it natural at least for a while?" I asked, hoping that she would say that this was all a joke.

"You have your entire life to leave it natural. Guys are all turned on by clean kitties. Trust me Jacob will like it," Rose replied.

"I don't know... He's such a stickler for me not being in pain," I said, "besides, if he wanted me bare he would tell me himself."

"Exactly, so even though he probably wants you bare he wouldn't tell you to prevent you from being in pain," she argued. "Of course he'll like it."

"I don't know," I said hesitantly.

"Oh stop – both of you are being so dramatic," Alice interrupted impatiently. "We need to get on with the day. May, do you want to have it done or not? It's not that painful."

"I'm not worried about the pain," I said defensively. "I just don't know if he would like it."

"Well luckily Bella can weigh in on that quandary," Alice replied. "Bella, does Jake like it clean or natural?" The hormones were definitely making Alice a bit snippier than usual.

"Do we have to talk about this?" Bella blushed.

"Bella, we all know you and Jake were together for years. You know his preferences better than any of us," Alice pressed. "May wants to know which he prefers and if she is getting this done than it ought to be a surprise for their wedding night. Forget about your discomfort and just answer the question. Natural, bare, or specially sculpted?" _Specially sculpted? What was she talking about?_

"Bare," Bella replied quietly with flame red cheeks.

"Then it's settled." Alice turned her attention to the attendant, "Standard Brazilian for the bride. Additionally, she needs a Swedish massage, a stress relief facial and salt scrub. I will be getting a prenatal massage, a prenatal facial and a salt scrub. The other ladies can get whatever treatments they want, but we are all getting french manicures and pedicures. Rose, your nails look like hell are you getting tips done?" The hormones were definitely in full swing.

Rose glanced at her hands. "No. I'll get them done the afternoon before the wedding. The garage is already going to be short this week and if I get them done today I would either have to take Monday and Tuesday off or get them redone on Tuesday afternoon anyway. Can you imagine me telling Jake, 'No, I can't do anything on that engine I might break a nail'?" She laughed loudly. "I'm the tiny hands in the shop. That wouldn't go over well if we got even one Hyundai in. He hates having to rip bumpers off just to change a fucking headlight." I laughed at the idea, but then considered the size of Jake's hands and realized she was right they wouldn't fit into tiny spaces.

Bella gave me two ibuprofen and asked the attendant to get a specific waxer for after my massage. Apparently, Bella knew the staff well and had scheduled the entire staff for our use that day. She said I needed time to let the ibuprofen kick in. I was extremely relaxed after my massage and almost had let my nervousness about being waxed recede. I wrapped myself in a plush robe and moved on to the waxing station. The woman told me to lay down on my back and positioned my legs, she then trimmed my hair with scissors, she started preparing the wax and told me what she was going to do. She quickly waxed me and it did hurt; especially when she did the top of my mound. She rubbed on lotion after and explained that I should bathe using warm (not hot) water for the next 48 hours. I then went for my facial and salt scrub and met back up with the girls for our manicures and pedicures. We all had lunch at the spa afterward and Bella, Alice, and Rose each used that time to provide sex advice and have another round of gift giving, luckily Bella had let me know this would be when I could give my gifts to my maids. Apparently the theme for the gifts was sexual advice books.

"Chicita linda, my present is only for you to use if you hit a trouble spot." Carmen explained. I opened the wrapping and it was a journal called _The Love Dare_. "It's a dare which I will challenge you to if you ever tell me your marriage is in deep water. Feel free to pass it on to a needier couple, but know I will challenge you if you are ever in trouble. I love you, May."

"Thank you. I love you too, Carmen." I hugged her. "Here's your gift." I gave her a black and white floral tote with Bath & Body Works energizing lotion, body wash, shampoo and conditioner, and make up. I had also added some tea and energy foods that she liked. She thanked me and started digging through her bag.

Zafrina gave me her gift and said, "May, I hope your marriage will be all you want it to be and may you never be afraid to be your entire self." I opened it and it was _Sex God_ by Rob Bell. "I love you, hermanita." I hugged her, handed her her gift, and thanked her. She got a leopard print tote that was very similar to Carmen's except hers had calming products instead of the energizing products.

Rose bought a copy of the _Kama Sutra_ and told me to keep it exciting. "Don't be afraid to try new things and keep a bottle of lube nearby at all times. I love you, May."

"Thank you. I love you too, Rose. I thought it was about time to turn the tables on you." I smiled and handed her a leather and metal purse with a studded dog collar in it. Everyone laughed.

Alice gave me _365 Sexual Positions: A New Way Everyday_, "Don't ever let yourself become a starfish."

"What's a starfish?" I asked. Bella and Rose started giggling. I didn't feel quite so naive when I noticed Zee and Carmen seemed confused, as well.

"It's what happens when you just lie there and think about the color of the ceiling. Your arms, legs, and head resemble the five points of a starfish while the man does all the work and you don't even engage," Alice explained as if it should be obvious.

"Does that really happen to married people?" I asked horrified.

"The boring ones," Rose interjected dryly.

Bella added, "And lesbians."

"We'd never let each other get like that," Alice added with a giggle.

"Wait, what do you mean by 'and lesbians'?" Zee asked Bella.

"It's called 'lesbian bed death' for a reason," Rose said dryly.

"What are you talking about?" I asked annoyed that they all seemed to know something we didn't.

"Several months into some lesbian relationships sometimes one of the partners looses interest. It's easier to hide being disinterested with a man, but between two girls lesbian bed death happens when the starfish rears its ugly head," Bella explained.

"Why would it matter whether it's a guy or a girl?" Carmen asked.

"Well have you girls all received oral sex?" Rose asked. The three of us nodded. "And have you all given oral?" We nodded again.

"How would you feel if your man totally disengaged from your work while you were pleasuring him?" Alice asked seriously.

We all answered at once. Zafrina said, "Pissed!" Carmen replied, "Hurt." I answered, "Inadequate."

"Well, men and lesbians feel the same when pleasuring a woman who disengages, but men might not notice it as fast because there are other ways they can engage," Bella said.

"Lesbians mostly just eat each other out so if one partner disengages it kills the relationship pretty quick," Rose finished.

"I guess that makes sense," I said. "Okay, I promise never to be a starfish." I giggled. "Thank you, Alice." I handed her a Coach diaper bag filled with Shea butter lotions.

Bella kept it simple, "Be adventurous and let him know what you want." She handed me her book _Oral Sex He'll Never Forget_. I had thought Bella had given me all her tips by now, but I guess she wanted me to keep a manual nearby. "May, I love you and I will always be there for you and Jacob."

"I love you too, Bella. You have done so much for me for the past several months. You have certainly lived up to your obligations as Matron of Honor. Thank you, so much. I got you something special." I handed her a silk tote bag with quotes from her favorite books embroidered all over it. It had a Kindle inside with all her favorite books loaded onto it. It also held freesia lotions and bath products.

~*O*~

JPOV

The girls had some sort of big day planned, so I asked all the guys if they could come over and help me out with moving Nessie's wedding gifts and getting the furniture moved into the guest room and Nessie's office. With the wedding only days away my sister Rebecca and her husband Jon were staying at my house and also agreed to help. Rachel and Paul were coming the day before the wedding.

I had kept the basement off limits to Nessie since I started working on the furniture. I may have gone a bit overboard on her gifts, but I wasn't spending any money on her birthday gift so I figured I could be a little over the top for the wedding presents. Besides she's my girl and I like spoiling her.

Jasper, Edward, Emmett, Quil, and Embry were all shooting the shit in the living room when Jon and Becks got to the house. After greeting my sister and telling her to make herself comfortable, I laid out the plan for all the guys.

"Thank you guys so much for agreeing to be manual laborers for me. We're lucky the weather's dry. So, my plan is to move all the furniture through the bulkhead then into the living room through the back door and then into whichever room it belongs in."

"How much furniture did you build, Jake?" Jon asked.

"Just wait until you see," Edward replied, chuckling, "Jake never does anything small."

I led them into the basement through the back door and bulkhead. The guys jaws were agape at the amount of furniture I had built.

"Holy fuck!" Jon said to no one in particular.

We all just laughed in response.

Over the summer I had spent every spare minute building, finishing, and staining the furniture I was making and, all in all, I was pretty proud of myself. I had installed the wall cabinets in the living room as soon as Ness finished painting those walls since I needed the room in the basement for all the other furniture I was building. I had built her a dresser for our room, a desk and bookshelf for her office, and a china cabinet for the dining room as wedding gifts. Additionally, I built a dresser and bed for the guest room and I had the mattress and box spring already up there. Ness had painted both rooms last week after the guys moved out.

"What can I do?" Becks asked as the guys looked at all the pieces.

"You can relax, sis, I didn't bring you here to work," I answered.

"No, you just brought Jon here for that," she retorted dryly, "I'm not helpless..."

"Becky!" Jon cut in sternly, effectively silencing her. "You can cook something – let the men do the lifting. You can make a Hawaiian feast for everyone tonight, that'll keep you busy."

I hated when he did that shit. It just felt disrespectful for him to do that in front of everyone. If they were in private then it's fine, but he shouldn't do that shit in front of other people. I started tensing for a fight with Jon, we couldn't stay in each others' presence for more than twelve hours without getting physical.

Edward must have noticed my reaction because he clasped a hand on my shoulder and whispered, "Calm down and be nice."

I nodded, willing my body to unclench.

Edward then spoke to Becks, "Rebecca, if you're interested in cooking a large meal we can use my house. Then the girls can come too, since Jake isn't letting May back in his house until the rehearsal dinner. It'll give you a chance to meet Renesmee, too."

"I'd love to, but don't you need to show me the way and let me in? I thought the girls all had some day at the spa planned for today."

"Well they do, but this won't take us long and you probably need to shop for ingredients anyway, right?" he replied.

"Yeah, I do. Where is there a supermarket?"

"Safeway good?" Embry asked.

"Yeah, that's perfect," she answered with a smile.

"Take a right out of the driveway, then at the second light take another right, then at the fourth light after that take a left. It's about a mile down on the right; you can't miss it," he recited helpfully.

"Thanks," she said, as she turned to leave.

"Wait a sec, Becks," I said softly, walking toward her and pulling out my wallet. I handed her six twenties. "My treat."

"No, Jake, I've got it."

"You cook it, but I'll buy it."

"Okay, Jake." She smiled. "Oh, and how many am I cooking for?"

"The eight of us, plus four girls."

We moved all the furniture before Becks got back from the grocery store and I pulled Jon aside for a little chat in the back yard.

"Jon, if you're gonna stay in my house, can you please let Becks be herself while you're here? You know I hate it when you disrespect her. You humiliated her in front of my friends," I explained as I clenched my fists trying not to get overly hostile.

"Jacob, you and I will continue to go back and forth on this issue for our entire lives. If Becky didn't mind me cutting her off and redirecting her then why are you making a big deal about it?" He tried to brush my concerns off with a chuckle.

His dismissal destroyed my resolve to control in my temper and I snapped, "Because it was rude to do it so publicly!"

"You need to butt out. She's _my_ wife and unless she complains about my behavior to you then you really have no business giving me shit about it! _Did_ she complain?" he asked smugly, knowing she hadn't.

He took the wind out of my sails. "No, but she's my sister, man! I have a right to be concerned about her." I raked my hand through my hair frustrated with the situation.

"I appreciate your concern, but I've been married to your sister for twelve years and I know things you don't. So, when I step in because I don't want her lifting anything that's _my _business," he explained patiently. "Let's be honest, Jacob, you brought all these guys over because you wanted help moving shit. You didn't need or want Becky's help, but you would have caved and let her help because you don't know how to say no to her. Then I would have had to stop her and that would have pissed you both off. She would have been pissed that I was interfering with you, so _excuse me_ if I made a choice to take heat from you rather than her."

"Why shouldn't she lift?" I asked, concerned that she was sick and hadn't told me.

"If she wants to share that with you then that's her business, but I'm not gonna piss her off by telling anyone. You'll learn real quick, Jake, the key to a happy marriage is a happy wife. Your sister's happy and our relationship works for her, so don't interfere!" he warned seriously.

"Is she sick?" I pressed.

"Like I said, I'm not pissing Becky off."

"Okay, I'll just ask her; she'll tell me." Becks and I didn't keep secrets from each other.

"You do that, Jake," he said with a chuckle.

Becks showed up a bit later with all the food loaded in their rental car.

"Shall we head over now?" Edward asked as soon as she entered the house.

"Yeah," Emmett said, "No offense Jake, but Eddy's cable is so much better than yours."

"Hey, don't dis my cable!" I shot back. I may not have had all the sports channels, but I had HD. I just didn't see a reason to pay for eight channels of bizarre sports, like ribbon dancing and swimming. _Do those even count as sports?_

"And don't call me Eddy or we'll be watching international football on my TV," Edward threatened.

"No, not soccer! Nothing's worse than soccer!" Emmett hollered. "I promise I'll stick to Edward from now on."

"What about Ballroom Dancing?" Becks asked innocently having no idea about the land mine that she had stepped on.

"Babe," Jon said, "Dancing isn't a sport. It's a bunch of sissy boys and pretty girls moving to music in preplanned patterns. There's not even any creativity."

_Oh fuck. _Those are fighting words around Jasper. I watched as Jasper ground his teeth and his jaw clenched.

Surprisingly, Emmett stepped in and said, "Fuck! Jon, you are so going to regret those words later. Just so you know we're now going to spend the day watching competitive dance and you'll learn to appreciate it for what it is."

"That's my cue to leave," Embry said as he stood, not wanting to be subjected to a day of watching dancing.

"Me too, I watch enough dancing on my lunch hour. See you later," Quil said, as he and Embry left.

"Why the fuck are we going to watch pansies dancing?" Jon asked, looking around the room for someone to agree with him.

"Open mouth. Insert foot," I said, chuckling. "Bro, you aren't going to get any support in this room. One of these guys is married to a competitive dancer."

"And one of us used to be one of those 'sissy boys.' Would you like to hazard a guess which one?" Emmett said using air quotes as he said, sissy boys.

"No, sorry," Jon said, obviously embarrassed.

"Well, I have meat in the car," Becks interjected, obviously wanting to relieve some tension and help Jon save face, "so, if we aren't going to leave soon then we may want to get it in the fridge."

"Let's get going. Is there room for me in your car?" I asked Becks, wanting to spend some time with my sister.

"Yeah, I'll sit in the back," she replied.

We headed out. On the way, after giving Jon directions to get to Ness' neighborhood, I asked, "Becks, why doesn't Jon want you lifting?"

"I'm perfectly fine to lift anything I want."

"Becky..." Jon growled.

"Well, I'm limited to less than ten pounds," she admitted.

"Are you sick?" I asked.

"No, I'm fine, Jake."

"Did you get hurt?"

"I said, I'm fine. I'm not ready to talk about this yet."

"But, if you're fine, then why can't you lift more than ten pounds?" I persisted.

"Jacob, she's not ready to discuss this. She is fine, but beyond that it's not your business. I'm sorry I let it slip that I didn't want you lifting, Honey."

I huffed.

"It's okay," Becks said to Jon, "but, I think the two of you need to wrestle when we get there or you two will explode at each other later in front of everyone." Becks knew us both and knew we tolerated each others' personalities for her. We got along, but we always had to get physical, almost like wild animals vying for dominance.

We both nodded acquiescence and I leaned back to watch the road for our turn.

After a few minutes Jon asked, "So, Jake, are you going to tell me which of those guys I need to apologize to for my earlier comment?"

"Not my secret to tell."

"Oh, c'mon! I made myself look like an ass. I at least need to know which of them I owe an apology to."

"I'm betting you'll figure it out while you watch dancing. Pay attention, I'm guessing he won't be able to resist schooling you in the difficulties of the varying moves," I said, laughing at the situation.

"Emmett was serious? And why did you say, _you_ and not _we_?"

"Oh yeah, he was. I'm getting out of it by helping Becks in the kitchen, but you're the one who fucked up; there is no way out for you. Besides I've been in ballroom lessons for the last five months so I have no need to watch it."

"Is that what Quil meant when he said that he sees enough of it on his lunch break?" Becks asked.

"Yep."

"I can't believe _you_ are taking dance lessons," Jon chuckled.

"Well, I think it's romantic," Becks defended me.

"Becky, you think everything girly is romantic. Yet somehow, you still love me and I'm all man."

I wanted to gag. He was so full of himself sometimes. _Did the motherfucker really just call me girly?_

Becks giggled.

"Jon, you really just don't know when to shut up do you? First you call my friend a sissy boy and then you call me girly. I'm thinking we need to up the ante from wrestling to boxing because I really wanna punch you right now."

"I'm game – you need to be schooled in how to throw a punch like a man." He smiled cockily and slugged me in the shoulder.

"No!" Becks yelled at us. "Jacob Ephraim, I will not answer to Ness when she asks how you got bruised a few days before the wedding. Wrestling or I'm staying at a hotel tonight. Jonathan Tane Lefao, stop goading Jacob or you'll be staying in a different bed for our entire stay. Both of you need to behave better and tolerate each other! Jon, you know how little I get to see my family, please respect them the way I respect your mother and father. Jacob, this may be your wedding, but it's her day don't be an idiot now and ruin her picture perfect memories of the day with a black eye or a broken nose."

"Sorry," we both said appropriately abashed. I took some comfort in the fact that she was madder at him, since she had used his full name and not mine.

The car lapsed into a tense silence for a minute until I looked up and told Jon to turn left. We pulled in and I told him to park at the far left in front of the four car garage.

"Do they really have four cars?" Jon asked his eyes round in shock.

"With Nessie's yeah," I answered as we got out of the car.

"Why does a couple need three cars?"

"Well, Edward has the Volvo for everyday and then he has an Aston Martin Vanquish for special occasions. He finally got Bella to retire Billy's old truck that she drove for nine years and bought her a Mercedes Guard. Then Nessie has the sixty-nine Mustang Cobra I restored for her a couple years ago."

"An Aston Martin? That must have cost him close to a year's salary even as a doctor."

I laughed, "He's a first year attending. Doctor's don't make as much as you think they do. The amount of money the hospital paid him for his entire residency is about the amount it cost to buy the Vanquish."

I led them down the steps to the front door.

"So how does he afford a Vanquish and a Mercedes if he doesn't make that much?"

I realized because of our angle he still hadn't seen the house. All you could see from the driveway was the roof and the front porch. From our angle it didn't look like the mini mansion it was, but more like an unassuming one story. I should have used the ride to let them know how wealthy Edward was. Becks may not even be comfortable in the kitchen. I was glad that I was helping her. "Okay, I probably should have let you know earlier, but Edward and Bella are rich. They are my two best friends, but this isn't like La Push. Just please remember they're regular people who we love and they're my fiance's family. So please, don't worry about it." I explained as I unlocked the door and keyed in the security code. I knew the guys would be downstairs in the basement, since they all drove like madmen and that Edward always locked the upstairs door unless they were having a big party. He thought it was a safe habit especially since he worked such long hours and Bella or Nessie were often there alone or just the two of them.

I waited for Jon and Becks to acknowledge what I had said with nods and then opened the door.

We stepped into the the large hallway which had four locked doors, a closet, a bathroom, and the stairs to the first floor. I pointed to each room as I said, "Nessie's room, guest room, Edward's office –" as I pointed out the play room "– Master suite, coat closet, and bathroom, everything's locked except the coat closet and the bathroom. Edward and Bella are sticklers for privacy. I could show you Nessie's room since I have a key, but there isn't much in there. She's moved most of her stuff to the condo." Nessie had been locking her room whenever she wasn't home out of habit, since she figured if she wasn't allowed in Bella and Edward's rooms they weren't allowed in hers.

Looking over I noticed that they were both staring with their mouths agape. Finally Becks answered, "No that's fine, Jake."

I walked out of the hall into the great room, kitchen, and dining room space. There was a flat screen in there, but Edward preferred the rec room for hanging out with the guys since it was less formal and more fun. "This is the main kitchen, the dining room and great room. They have a wrap around balcony too. Let's head downstairs and show you where the guys are."

I brought them downstairs and pointed out the library, the work out room, the utility room, the bathroom, the mini kitchen, the fourth bedroom, and finally brought them to the Rec room which had doors out to the back patio.

"Hey, I was wondering how long it was going to take you to get here," Edward called.

"Well, we don't drive like maniacs," I defended.

"So did you give them the full tour?"

"Yeah, all except the bedrooms and your office," I reassured him.

"Hey, why have I never seen your office?" Jasper asked, sounding a bit put out. "I thought I was your best friend."

"Jazz, it's my personal sanctuary. No one's allowed in my office."

"What about Bella?" Emmett asked.

"Nope. It's my space."

"Who cleans it then?" Emmett asked incredulously.

"Emmett, I'm perfectly capable of cleaning."

I decided to take some of the heat off Edward. "Are you suggesting Rose does all the cleaning at your house, Em?"

"No, but Bella and Rose are very different people. Bella has to have everything neat and orderly and I swear she is OCD about cleanliness, so I just always assumed she did all the cleaning. She likes taking care of people. I mean you know how she was with Uncle Charlie."

I knew exactly what he was talking about. "Yeah, I know better than any of you. I grew up with Charlie in my life so when Bella came to live with him it was quite a shock to Billy and I. It was like he forgot how to take care of himself and she became the full time caregiver at thirteen. It was fucking bizarre."

"She still worries he can't take care of himself," Edward chimed in.

We all just nodded.

Becky broke the silence, "Hey guys, Jon and Jake need to go resolve their issues in physical combat in the back yard before the girls get here."

"What did you do?" Edward asked me laughing, he thought my issues with both my brothers in law were amusing.

I couldn't help smiling back at him. "Just being my normal charming self," I answered.

"Well, if they get to wrestle, I wanna take on Jazz," Emmett added.

"Hey what did I do?" Jasper asked confused.

"You told Rose about the dare – I still need to pay you back for that," Emmett growled.

"That was restitution for hitting below the belt with your dare, you dick," Jasper bit out.

"I'll be ref," Edward volunteered. "How many rounds to win?"

Emmett outlined the rules, "Three second pin, best two out of three."

We all headed outside and Jon and I started. Jon was eight inches shorter than me, but he was stocky. He'd been a Navy Air Rescue Swimmer for eight years. He had just finished his first four year commitment and was on leave when he met Becks while surfing at La Push. He had already enlisted for another four years and was planning on going career until he met her. His next station was Hawaii and they eloped quickly and then stayed in Hawaii when he finished his second term. He was strong and fast and to take him down I had to use my longer legs and arms to my advantage. Most importantly, I couldn't let him get under me. He always gets me when I let him get too close.

I heard Edward count down and then Jon launched himself at my legs. I dodged him and caught his arm. I spun it around behind him and took him to the ground. I heard Edward count down and released him when I was sure three seconds had passed.

"Nice take down, Jake," Jon said as he got up.

I smiled and nodded.

We took a minute to stretch before taking our stances again. Edward counted down again. Jon launched himself at my legs again and I dodged again, but this time he was prepared for it. He veered off path and snagged my legs. He was under me, I had no chance of winning the round. I never gave up, so I tried to squirm, but he used his legs to trip me and flip me onto my back then he spun so he was pressing my legs into my chest. Edward counted to three while I struggled to get my back off the ground.

"Well done, Bro," I said as I took Jon's hand to pull myself off the ground.

"Yep."

We took our stances again. This time I didn't dodge. He came at me fast and I braced myself for the impact. I caught his upper body with my arms, flipped him onto his back and threw myself down. He wriggled out from under my grasp and came over me to pin me. I used my arm strength to flip us both over and took his right arm and left leg in a firm hold. I pinned him with my back and waited for Edward to call the match.

I stood and held my hand to him.

"You won this round. Congrats. Rematch at my house," he said with a smile.

"Just name the time," I replied happily.

"I'll let you know when you get there."

I started to head back into the house to get cleaned up.

"You aren't gonna stay out here and watch me and Jazz?" Emmett called as I walked away.

"No, I'm gonna take a quick shower and change, so I can help Becks get the meal ready. Besides I've seen you two go at it enough times, let me know if you beat Jazz, otherwise, it's nothing new."_ Burn! I love taking that cocky son of bitch down a notch!_

I met Becks, as she was coming up the stairs, fifteen minutes later.

"I should get the food in before it spoils," she said.

"Let me, Becks, just take a few minutes to acclimate yourself to the kitchen."

She handed me the keys and I gathered all the bags in one trip. _God, I love the handles on plastic bags, __since they let me to carry fifteen bags in one hand. _

"My God, Jacob, did you leave anything in the car?" She rushed up to try and help, but I set the bags on the counter top.

"Nope, one trip is easier." I set the bags on the counter top.

"Yeah, and heavier!" she said sardonically, as she started unloading things.

Puffing out my chest like I had as a boy I said, "Not too heavy for me, sis."

She laughed. "Will you put away the cold stuff? I don't want to screw around in their fridge."

"Sure, but you really don't have to worry about it. They won't mind, in fact, I bet when Bella and Ness get her they're going to kick me out of the kitchen to help you." I started putting away the meat; she had bought a lot of meat. "Wow! How much meat did you think we'd eat?"

"Meat is in every course except dessert. The appetizers are Ahi tuna, Ono ribs, and creamy pineapple dip with veggies and crackers. The main course is chicken long rice, roasted pork, sweet potatoes, and Hawaiian green salad which has shrimp in it. The desserts are pineapple upside down cake and banana coconut bread."

I helped her with the cooking and over the next several hours we chatted about life and worked happily until the girls got home. The guys were enjoying torturing Jon with ballroom. Had he not made the comment they would have been watching some college sport.

Finally the girls arrived home from the spa. Wanting to get to know her future sister in law better Ness made a beeline for Becks, seating next to her at the table. After ten minutes of talking they were giggling and gossiping like old friends. It was great to see them get along so well. The party was a huge success and we all had a great time.

~*O*~

RPOV

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

With one day until the wedding we had the rehearsal at five in the evening at the chapel. Rachel secretly dropped off the cup cakes she'd made for the wedding with Alice. We couldn't risk having them in Jake's house, since they might not make it to the wedding. Jake drove me to the condo and we arrived about fifteen minutes before any one else, he said he had something special to show me.

"Okay, Ness, can you keep your eyes closed or should I blindfold you?"

"I'll keep 'em closed." I smiled and closed my eyes as he unlocked the door.

He took my hand and led me into the house.

"Okay, you can open them for your first present."

I opened my eyes and was stunned by the beautiful china cabinet in the dining room. It was cherry with elaborate details and it was absolutely beautiful.

"Oh, Jacob, this is beautiful." I hugged him tightly trying to hide the tears of joy.

"I'm glad you like it. Shall I show you the rest?"

"There's more?" I asked discreetly wiping my eyes.

He smiled. "It's upstairs."

We went upstairs and he asked me to close my eyes again. I did and he led me somewhere and then had me open my eyes. I saw the dresser against the wall of our bedroom. It matched his, but had a large mirror on it for me. I saw him behind me in the mirror and he was beaming as he held me in his arms.

"Oh, Jake, I love it. You really made this my home too." I smiled broadly and squeezed his arms with mine.

"Thanks, Babe. I hoped you would love it."

He brought me to the guest room and said that this wasn't a gift, but just for me to see and opened the door. I saw the beautiful bedroom set he'd built in the room Jon and Becks were staying in.

"Okay, last wedding gift," he said, smiling as he opened the door to my office. There was a bookshelf, a large dark brown desk, a black leather office chair, and a beautiful red oriental rug.

"Oh, Jacob, you did all this for me. It's amazing. You never cease to amaze me. How can I thank you for all this?" I hugged him.

"Sweetheart, you don't need to thank me. This is all just stuff. You've given me your heart, that's a greater gift than any of these things."

I kissed him deeply in response. We were both getting into the kiss and losing ourselves in each other when we heard the doorbell.

"Saved by the bell," Jake chuckled.

"What do you mean?" I began to worry, his comment almost sounded like he was just saved from having to perform an awful act.

"It's been too long, Nessie," he said huskily. "I want you so fucking bad. The bell means I have to remember our family is here."

My body relaxed as I realized he did still want me. He kissed me softly and walked away to open the door.

We knew that the folks who were traveling from La Push would have a long drive in the morning, so Jake had offered to put anyone up who came the night before, but only his sisters opted to do that. Little Willy was so adorable at three months old he was still mostly sleeping, but when he smiled it lit up the room. Rachel was very gracious with allowing everyone to pass the baby around.

Jake was having a big barbeque to feed everyone. Embry was handling all the cooking as a favor so that Jake and I could mingle with our guests. Jake had rented two extra grills so that Embry could cook everything outside and keep the house from overheating. Embry was making grilled corn in husk with herbal butter options, foil roasted cheesy Italian potatoes, sirloin steaks, and bone in chicken. Rachel and Rebecca wanted to help out so they were making potato salad, pasta salad, Caesar salad, and garden salad. Jake couldn't sit still while his sisters worked, so he worked on dessert for everyone. He was making several options: chocolate cream pies, a berry trifle, watermelon, and fruit salad. Seeing Jake with both his sisters was entirely new for me, it warmed my heart watching them together. The three of them behaved as if they were never apart. They teased each other and hung out and talked about their mom. The three of them were seamlessly able to function together in the kitchen anticipating each others needs and cleaning up after each other. Jon and Paul hung out with the men watching baseball while all the women doted on Rachel's son. I didn't hear his sisters mention Billy once in the entire time they were in the house which led me to believe they knew whatever had happened between Jake and his dad. I was worried that Jake would later regret not inviting his father, but I knew he was extremely hurt by whatever had happened with Billy and I didn't want to push him about it.

When the girls were done preparing the salads they came out and sat with me and Bella in the dining room. They knew Bella from when they were all kids and they were stuck together so the 'men could go fishing and do other manly things'. They reminisced about what a bad little boy Jacob had been and every time he looked at us a smile played on his lips. He was so happy having everyone he loved around him for the day. He called us his four girls: his sisters, his best friend, and his bride.

He pulled me into the kitchen just before it was time to eat. Wrapping his arms around me, he brushed his lips against mine. "Babe, do you know how happy I am right now?" He asked. His eyes were twinkling with pure joy. I smiled up at him, sighed contentedly, and rested my head against his shoulder. He started dancing to the light background music. "I love you so much Nessie. You make me this happy." I hummed happily against him. "My sisters adore you. You're already part of the family."

"I love them too, Jake." He spun me under his arm. I laughed. "I'm so happy to become a member of your family." He pulled me back in and kissed me.

"In the morning our lives will be merged forever." He dipped me down and started kissing my neck.

"Forever and always." I murmured as he pulled me back. Jake kissed me deeply.

Embry called out, "Dinner is ready. Let's get the food on the table and stop making out in the kitchen - we prepare food in there, you two," we both laughed and pulled apart making our way into the other room.

The dining room table was stretched to hold twelve people and the kitchen table had been moved into the dining room to hold an additional eight people. We had the 12 members of the wedding party, Rachel, Paul, little William, Rebecca, Jon, Aunt Esme, Uncle Carl, Claire, and Charlie all in the house. Rachel put William in a rocking carrier on the floor and he slept through the meal. We shared food, conversations, and laughter as the night carried on.

When everyone had finished eating dinner Rachel, Rebecca, and Bella cleared the table and made coffee and tea. A while later they came in with the hot drinks and the various desserts and Jake stood to talk to everyone. I stood beside him when he reached his hand out for me to stand.

"Nessie and I are so happy you will all be sharing tomorrow with us. I wanted to take the time to thank some of you personally tonight since tomorrow only Edward and Bella will be making toasts." Bella gasped. "What – didn't you know the Matron of Honor is supposed to make a toast, too?" Everyone started laughing. "Didn't Alice tell you?"

"Jacob Black!" Alice called. "You know damn well that Nessie planned the whole wedding to be a surprise for you tomorrow. You don't know the itinerary so don't make assumptions."

"Sorry, Alice. I should have known better than to mess with a pregnant pixie!" Jacob chuckled a little.

Alice glared at him until Emmett coughed out, "Hormones!" She turned her gaze on Emmett. "Did I say that out loud?" He quieted while everyone laughed at him.

"Anyway, back to my speech." Jake chuckled. "I'd like to thank the glorious woman standing next to me for agreeing to be my wife. I'll never know why God granted me your love, Ness. I'll try everyday to live up to your expectations and provide you with the life you deserve. You are my everything. I can't wait to see you walking toward me in the morning. Thank you for loving me. I love you, Ness." Before I could answer he crashed his lips to mine and kissed me passionately. The boys were cat calling and wolf whistling. I was breathless when he pulled away. "There are a few other people I need to thank specially."

"I hope you won't thank them like that!" Embry called.

"No. I only thank my Ness like that." Jake chuckled. "Carlisle and Esme, thank you so much for giving May the wedding of her dreams. I can't wait to see what she planned for me. Thank you both for supporting May the way you always have and for helping to raise her to be the woman she is today. Thank you for giving me your niece. Thank you for being like parents to both of us. We will always love and appreciate you and everything you have done for both of us. Oh and, Esme, thank you for teaching me patience by making me volunteer to help Mrs. Matthews." Emmett guffawed loudly, Esme and I giggled. "We have a special gift for each of you." I handed them each a gift bag. "You will always have a special place in our hearts we love you."

"Please wait to open the gifts," I asked, "There are things in the bags that I will explain when Jake is done and some things in the bags are in lieu of flowers in the morning."

"Your welcome, Jacob and May. We love you, too." Carlisle said.

"Bella and Edward," Jacob began. "What can I say to you? You two have supported both of us so much I am glad to call you my two best friends. Thank you for everything." I knew he was being intentionally vague only the four of us knew what the three of them meant to each other. "Emmett, you are my best bud and my oldest friend thank you for everything." Jake laughed and changed his voice to sound younger, "Dude, we're finally going to be family legally. Alice, thank you for putting in all those Sundays with Ness so we could have an Alice Whitlock wedding. Jazz and Rose, thank you both for your dance lessons so I won't embarrass Nessie or myself tomorrow. Embry, thanks for manning the grills tonight. Finally, I need to thank my sisters from the bottom of my heart for supporting my decisions and never second guessing my judgment. Thank you both for teaching me to cook so I had a chance to woo Nessie and thank you for taking care of me when we lost Mom. We love you all and are so happy you could participate in our wedding. You all mean so much to us. I know you all want me to wrap this up so we can eat dessert, but I have one more thing to talk about.

"Nessie and my life hasn't always been blessed – we have both been tragically effected by drunk drivers which is why we asked people to donate to SADD or MADD instead of giving us gifts. We are going to give you each a shirt from the SADD Store as a thank you for participating in our wedding. I'd like to take a minute to remember Renee and Phil Dwyer and Sarah Black without them we wouldn't be the people we are today. May our parents rest in peace. Please join me for sixty seconds of silence in their honor." We all bowed our heads for the minute of silence. "Thank you all. God bless us all. Let's eat dessert. Nessie will explain the gifts while you all serve yourselves desert."

"Finally!" Emmett called.

I handed out all the bags and then went to each person and explained their gifts softly. We had bought everyone who was there that night a tee-shirt or tank top that said 'Inspire' in honor of our parents.

I started with Jake's sisters, their husbands, and Charlie. "Rebecca, Rachel, Jon, Paul, and Charlie thank you for accepting me into your families and your hearts. I considered giving everyone flowers tomorrow to signify the importance you hold in our lives, but then I realized flowers die and we wanted you to have something more permanent. Please open your gifts." They each pulled out the shirts and the small gift boxes in the bags. They opened the boxes and saw what was inside. The men each had a lapel pin of the Loch Ness Monster and the girls each had an enamel pin. "I'd appreciate if you would wear these pins in place of boutonnieres and corsages tomorrow."

"Sure, May," Paul began, "but could you explain why you gave us dragon pins."

Jake chuckled, "I told you they wouldn't get the joke. They aren't dragons; they are Loch Ness Monsters in honor of Nessie."

"Hey, do I get a Nessie pin?" Emmett called out.

"Just wait, Emmett. No, you get something different," I replied. Then I went to Claire and gave her a hug. "Thank you for agreeing to be part of the ceremony tomorrow. You can open your gift now." She did. She saw the pink flower brooch. "This is in place of a corsage."

"Thank you, May," she said as she gave me another hug.

"Men or maids next?" I asked Jake.

"Ladies first," he replied with a chuckle.

"Okay girls, I'd like you all to open your gift bags." They opened their bags and pulled out their tank tops and wrapped shirt boxes. Each shirt box had a white pashmina, and three pieces of jewelry from Tiffany's: a gold heart brooch to close the pashmina, a gold charm bracelet, and an individualized charm. "Thank you all for being part of our wedding. The pashminas are for the actual ceremony, so we all adhere to the modesty rules in our dresses. Use the brooches to pin the shawls and then each of you got a charm bracelet with a charm to represent your personality to me. Carmen, you are my black and white fashion diva so you got a little black purse. Zee, I know how much you love everything leopard print so I got you a tiny leopard. Alice, my shopping buddy, I got you a Tiffany's bag. Rosalie, I know how much you love working on engines and even though you can be perfectly prim and proper there is always a part of you that just needs to have her hands on a tool so I got you a wrench. Finally, Bella, my beloved sister, I chose a book for you, enough said." I hugged them each as they thanked me.

"Alright now for the men, please open your bags." They each pulled out their tee-shirts and each had a small box in their hands. They opened them to see a picture of their suits a silver thistle lapel pin and a set of individualized cuff links. "Okay, let me start with the pictures. Those suits you guys were fitted for are yours now. I didn't want to fold them when they are perfectly pressed at Alice and Jasper's house. So no one needs to worry about returning the suits, ties, or shoes; they are yours to keep. The thistle pins are in place of boutonnieres, they are a manly flower, but represent love and independence. Then you each have individualized cuff links relating to either your work or something you are passionate about. Quil we got you spark plugs and Embry, those are chef's hats. Jazz, I wanted to get you a brain, but since we couldn't find that we got something from your passion for chess. Emmett, we gave you microchips. Edward, we gave you the medical emblems. Thank you all." They all hugged me and thanked me.

"This is way better than a Nessie pin," Emmett exclaimed as he examined his cuff links. I smiled.

"Sure, sure, Em." I replied and then moved on to my aunt and uncle. "For all intents and purposes you have been my parents since I was twelve. I may not have always lived with you, but you have supported me in every way possible. I love you both so much. Aunt Esme, can you open your gifts first?" She pulled out her t-shirt and then got to two boxes. She opened the shoe box first and gasped at the lace insert heels that matched her champagne colored 'mother of the bride' dress. "I told you I would lend you shoes to match your dress for tomorrow. Well, that was a white lie. I bought you these the day we went shopping for your dress." She thanked me then opened her other box; it held Tiffany's jewelry: a rose gold charm bracelet, a heart charm, a mother-child brooch, and a rose gold watch. "The brooch is in place of a corsage tomorrow and it represents our mother – daughter bond. The watch is engraved, 'Aunt Esme – The Mother of my Heart, Love, Renesmee.' Thank you for all you are and all you have been to me. I love you." She was in tears, hugging me fiercely, and telling me how much she loved me.

I dried my own tears and then turned to Uncle Carl, "Can you open yours now, Uncle Carl?" He pulled out his t-shirt and then pulled out a small box which held a thistle lapel pin, medical cuff links and Tiffany's watch. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and whispered in his ear, "Please don't read the invoices with my credit card statement just approve the cost as trustee for my accounts and don't worry about it. It is my money and Jake isn't going to let me use it for much. I'll also need you to cosign a check to MADD after the wedding is over."

"Okay, sweetheart." He smiled back at me.

"As Esme is the mother of my heart you have been the father of my heart, Uncle Carl. Your watch is engraved with 'Uncle Carl – The Father of my Heart, Love, Renesmee.' Thank you for helping to mold me into the person I am today. I love you." We hugged and he thanked me.

I then made my way back around the tables to Jacob who hugged me and asked softly, "What were you and Carlisle whispering about?"

"Just the trust."

"How much did you spend on all these gifts?" He whispered curiously. "I saw the light blue boxes I know those items cost a fortune."

"Well I'll tell you what," I whispered softly, "after tomorrow you can worry about how much I spend out of the trust when it becomes yours as well, until then you aren't allowed to worry about it. Only Uncle Carl and I know how much I spent and I'd prefer to keep it that way. I spent about one percent of the value of the trust and if Uncle Carl weren't managing it then we would have to pay that much to a financial manager every year. Uncle Carl is permitted to take that as trustee every year, but he never has drawn off for his expenses and he grows the value between four and ten percent per year."

Jacob's face was dumbstruck as he glanced around the table and did the math realizing quickly that one percent of the value of my trust was about sixty thousand dollars. I could see his breathing picking up.

"Jacob, do we need to step into the bedroom and talk? You look like you're about to have a panic attack." He just nodded as we excused ourselves to the bedroom.

"Hey you two... you can wait until tomorrow for that," Emmett called out as we left the table.

"We'll be right back," Jake called back.

We got to the bedroom and closed the door. "Are you okay?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just had trouble processing everything you just told me." He dry washed his face in frustration. "Plus, it isn't everyday I see approximately the amount of money I draw out of the business in a year pass across our table like it was pocket change."

"I probably should have given you some warning," I said sheepishly.

"Well you did say you were dipping into the trust fund to buy gifts for everyone." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I just thought you were talking a couple thousand dollars not tens of thousands of dollars. We just need to talk before you do something like that again. I think our definitions of appropriate amounts of money to spend differ slightly."

I needed to apologize for not giving him more information. "I'm sorry, Jacob. I just thought it would be okay with you. Also, truthfully until tomorrow the trust is solely mine. I never considered that you might have an opinion on how much I spent on the gifts. I was more concerned with Uncle Carl since he has to approve my expenditures and he was going to be seeing my credit card statement," I explained.

"It's okay, Babe. I don't want you to worry about this. I just was surprised," He said reassuringly as he rubbed my arms. "Can you just promise me that in the future when you dip into the trust for more than five thousand dollars you'll let me know ahead of time unless it is an emergency? I want to be able to provide for you and not use the trust unless it is absolutely necessary."

I had wounded Jacob's pride by spending so much without talking to him about it. "I promise and again, I'm sorry. I know you can provide for me. I just wanted to do something special for everyone. I know that money is treated differently by our families and I just wasn't thinking about it. I don't try to spend a lot I just really wanted this to be special." I apologized sadly.

He pulled me into a hug, trying to comfort me. "There's nothing to be sorry about. You were just being generous. I know you wanted this to be special. I only care about you – the rest is just details. I really shouldn't have been so shocked anyway. I know how your family spends money after all."

"What do you mean?"

"It's just your family knows no bounds on their generosity. I just didn't realize I was now joining that group. It's hard to get used to after living my life in hand me downs and scraping together everything I had to open my business. Everyone else in your family came from money except Bella and she has adjusted to living a certain lifestyle since your folks passed. Even Rose and Jasper came from the upper middle class. I'm just a poor boy from a lower class lifestyle," he explained almost seeming ashamed of his upbringing. "It will take a while to get used to the financial piece."

"We don't have to change at all. I can live very happily without dipping into the trust fund if that will make you happier, Jake," I offered sincerely.

"No, I want you to live however you want. I just have to get over my male pride," he said forcefully.

"No, you don't. I am content to live within our means and save the trust for emergencies and special circumstances. How about we sit down with Uncle Carl after the honeymoon and go over the entire situation?" I suggested trying to resolve the issue.

"That sounds fine, Babe." He leaned down and kissed me. "I don't want to miss any more quality time with our families tonight."

We ate dessert and then it was time for me to leave.

All the bridesmaids were spending the night at our house the night before the wedding so we could all wake up at the crack of dawn to get ready. We were all going to do each others' hair and Jasper and Emmett were in charge of making sure all our stuff was prepared for the ceremony and reception.

Jake pulled me into a tight embrace. "I love you, Nessie."

"I love you too, Jake." I held him tightly. I didn't want to let him go.

"Ness, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just don't want to let you go."

"I'll be waiting for you in the morning."

"Promise?"

"Promise." He stroked my cheek and leaned in for a deep kiss. His tongue dove into my mouth and I could feel all his emotions in that kiss. He pulled me harder against his body and I could feel his steel arousal against me. He pulled away. "God." He took a deep breath. "We need to stop. Tomorrow can't come soon enough."

"For me either." I sighed.

"Well, the sooner you get home and go to bed the sooner tomorrow will get here." He smiled.

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Ness. Bella is waiting for you. I think she is going to drag you away if you don't go soon. I'll see you in the morning. I'll be the one in front of the altar."

I giggled. "I'll be the one in white." I gave him a quick kiss and then got in the car. Waving at him until he was out of sight.

"Okay, Bella, I need to stop at Alice's house she is meeting me there before we go back to our house. I have something to drop off for Jake." I started scrolling through my phone's internet looking for song lyrics I had a thought when he was talking about our socioeconomic backgrounds and I thought I should pen the lyrics of a song that reminds me of the differences between us and rewrite his letter.

I found the lyrics before we got to Alice's place. When we stepped inside I was on a mission. "Alice, do you have any stationary?"

"Yes, in the study," she replied.

I found some green note cards with Queen Anne's lace flowers on them and penned the lyrics to the song I had chosen. I then wrote him a note and set both cards in an envelope. I set the envelope and the Tiffany's box in front of Jacob's suit on a small table. I headed back to the car and went home with Bella.

~*O*~

**Coming Up:**

"**Alice or Rose will kill me if they find out I did this, but I couldn't resist." He said. "I changed the song for the garter removal and brought you these." He slipped something soft and silky into my hand. "I'm sure you can figure out what to do." He blocked everyone's view of me so I could look at what he had put into my hand. I had two pairs of underwear – one was a cherry red thong and the other was a pair of peach granny panties. I smiled and shoved one up each of my sleeves.**

Visual Stimulation:

Spa Gifts www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/spa_gifts/set?id=18406503

Rehearsal Dinner Gifts www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/rehearsal_dinner_gifts/set?id=18297713

Link to Inspiration for Edward and Bella's home www(dot)cbbain(dot)com/29100442

**Please Read and Review. Reviewers get previews.**


	17. The Wedding

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on/explore BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes RARE Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship.**

Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s, BDSM, or DD lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual.

**Special thanks to my awesome beta Sawny94. This story is better because of your help. If you enjoy my story please check Sawny94 out she was one of my inspirations. You're awesome.**

Also a special thank you to TwilightCakes for pre-reading and giving me additional feedback. She has several nice stories, so check her page out sometime.

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS! **

**Visual Stimulation at the end of the chapter.** Sorry, no citrus flavor in this chapter, but the honeymoon is next. I guarantee some lemons in that chapter. :-)

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while.**

Chapter 17

Wedding Day

RPOV

I hardly slept a wink last night and yet when my alarm sounded at 5:00 am, waking me for the last time as a single women, I hoped up fully awake and ready for the best day of my life! My face split into a smile, it was the morning of my wedding to the most amazing man I have ever known. As I looked around I noted a tray by my bed. It had a cup of hot tea, a chocolate croissant, an envelope and a thin box wrapped in silver. The writing on the envelope was Jacob's it said, _My Nessie_. I opened the envelope.

_My Dearest Nessie,_

_I'm really going to owe Edward big time for this he had to get all this into your room just before you awoke. I wanted you to have a chocolate croissant on our wedding day as a recollection of my first one in Atlanta as well as our first date. I'll be eating one at the same time that you wake up. I had to pull strings to get the bakery to have them ready for me at 4:45am so I could get them to you for 5am. I am so looking forward to seeing you today. Happy Birthday, my sweet bride. _

_The box contains your birthday gift. I needed you to have it before you put on your makeup since you're going to cry when you see it. I can just imagine the look of confusion on your face right now. Open it now before you read any more._

I opened the box and started crying. It was his Mom's Rosary that he always kept in his car. I was overwhelmed that he would give me something that meant so much to him. I steadied my breathing, wiped away my tears, and continued reading.

_She would have loved you, Ness. I would be honored if you would carry this with you today. You know how important she was to me and I wanted you to have something I value with you today. I want you to have a piece of my mom with you forever. I'll be praying the Rosary in solitude at 6am. Even though we can't talk this morning, I will be there with you in spirit praying. _

_I love you. I'll be waiting for you at 8am in the chapel. I look forward to seeing all the things you have planned for us today. _

_Love,_

_Your Jacob_

I was so touched by his thoughtfulness. He gave me something more valuable to him than gold. I know how much Jake loves his mom and he wants me to know that she would have loved me so dearly. I ate the croissant and drank the tea and then immediately got in the shower.

At 5:30 I went out to meet the rest of the girls. We were all freshly showered and in pajamas. Esme, Rose, Bella, and Alice surrounded me when I walked into the Rec room downstairs.

"I'm getting married!" I screamed.

"Happy Birthday, May!" They called as one.

I giggled. "Good morning to you, too."

"We have presents!" Alice chirped.

"Okay," I said tentatively.

"May, I'm giving you something old," Esme began and handed me a double stranded pearl bracelet watch. "It was a wedding gift from your grandfather to your grandmother when they got married in 1963."

"Thank you Aunt Esme." I hugged her and she helped me put the bracelet on.

"May, I am giving you something new," Alice said. She handed me pearl earrings.

"Thank you Ali." I hugged her and put the earrings into my holes.

"Renesmee, here is your something borrowed and I do indeed want it back." Bella handed me a white satin handkerchief with flowing pink embroidery that read, '_Renee Platt & Charlie Swan 12-28-87,_' "It is a handkerchief that commemorated Mom's marriage to Charlie she had it embroidered on the day of their wedding in Vegas. We can pin it to your bouquet."

"Thank you for letting me bring a piece of mom with me down the aisle." I started crying. It was so nice of Bella to give me this piece of her and Mom and in some way it reminded that even though Jacob had been Bella's before he was mine she was happy to see him with me.

"You're welcome," Bella said with tears in her eyes, "I was worried you wouldn't like it since her marriage to Charlie was a failure."

"Oh, Bella!" I hugged her, then rushed to reassure her, "If Mom hadn't married Charlie, I wouldn't have you. I love you so much Bella. I don't think of Mom's first marriage as a failure, but rather as an experience that she had to have in order for us to be sisters. She always said that even though she got an annulment she didn't regret marrying Charlie or having you. She just couldn't live in Forks anymore and it turned out that was the best decision for everyone. I'm honored that you are letting me carry her handkerchief from that marriage down the aisle. Who knows, if she hadn't married Charlie none of us would probably be here right now." We held each other for a few minutes while we dried our tears.

"May, I am giving you something blue," Rose said and handed me two white garters with baby blue writing.

"Thank you, Rose."

"Well now that that's done we need to get moving on our hair we have a very limited time ladies," Alice called to us all. "Rose will do May's hair and makeup as well as her own. Carmen and Zafrina are doing each others. Bella, I am doing yours and mine. Esme is doing her own and lending a hand as needed." We were rushed into action. After Rose had set all my hair in curlers to make sure nothing would be out of place, I needed 15 minutes to myself and went upstairs to pray at 6am. I prayed knowing that Jacob was doing the same. I thanked God for the blessings of my family and friends and my Jacob. I was very nervous about the day, but praying helped me quiet my mind. I had no doubts about Jacob and I, but I had some concerns that he might not like all the things I had planned for the day.

I went back downstairs and Rose already had her hair whipped into an elegant updo. She then went to work on perfecting mine. Esme assisted Carmen with Zafrina's extremely long locks. Alice finished Bella and herself quickly and moved onto my makeup. She went with a collection of purple shadows to play up my brown eyes and a pale pink lip gloss. Rose finished my hair and it was beautiful. Curls were carefully arranged half up and half down so my hair trailed down my back. Alice then pushed us to get into our dresses and Esme helped me with mine. We were ready to leave the house at 7am and head to the church to get the flowers in the appropriate hands and Alice and Esme would make sure all the men were ready after we got there. We got in the limousine and were brought to the church. The girls made sure Jake was tucked away somewhere before I headed to the room where I would be waiting.

While I waited I prayed and we took some pictures of the girls and me before the wedding. Alice was making sure everything was perfect. Carlisle came to me at 7:45 to wait with me. I set my mantilla on my head and positioned it to cover my face. It was so hard being locked in the room while all my friends and family moved around freely. I wanted to help out, but I had to stay where I was so no one could see my dress, especially not Jacob. I was anxious to move on with the day and hurry the schedule, I desperately wanted to see Jacob.

At 8am the music switched to signal the time for the bridesmaids to enter with their escorts: Carmen and Embry, Zafrina and Quil, Alice and Jasper, Rose and Emmett, and Bella on her own since Edward was already standing by Jake. I wrapped my new Rosary around my right wrist and hand, and set it in the crook of Carlisle's elbow. In the other hand I already had a firm grip on my bouquet in my left hand. The music changed to Wagner's Wedding March and we stepped into the tiny chapel.

I felt like I could fly I was so happy to finally be in the same room with Jacob, my love. All I saw was Jacob. He was everything to me and he stood there looking perfect and I could see every ounce of love and adoration he had for me in his eyes and his smile. He was perfect and I was about to become his wife. My heart felt like it was beating too fast. If Uncle Carl weren't holding me I'm not sure I could make it down the short aisle to my future, my Jacob.

~*O*~

JPOV

The morning of the wedding had gone quickly. I skipped my run, but still woke up early to get chocolate croissants for both of us. I also picked up a cup of hot tea for Nessie and then Edward, who I had dragged along on my early morning adventure, delivered her the food, my gift, and a letter I had penned the evening before. I waited outside the house. I desperately wanted to be in the house with her, but wanted her to have the perfect day so I respected tradition. I felt tiny cables tugging at my heart as I imagined Edward inside setting a tray beside her bed while she still slumbered. Edward came out and drove us to Jasper and Alice's place where we would be getting ready. I watched the clock and thought about what Nessie would be doing in each minute. At 5:00 I imagined her reading my letter and then opening my gift and crying, at 5:05 I imagined her eating her pastry and drinking her tea so I did the same.

When we arrived at Jasper's house we got showered and dressed. I walked out to the guest room where my stuff was hanging. There was an envelope with my name on it and a Tiffany's box sitting on a table in front of my stuff. I walked over and picked up the envelope and opened it. There were two cards inside of it. I opened the one on top.

_My Jacob,_

_My plans to give this to you were altered substantially after our conversation about our socioeconomic differences. The other card has song lyrics in it that I thought represented how we felt about each other. Regardless of how different our worlds are, they collided and nothing will tear us apart. _

_First, let me say, the Tiffany's box is not as scary as it looks. The gifts inside are similar to what I got the groomsmen. By the way, the suit you're wearing today is yours now as well, I hope you like it. There is a special gift inside that is different. The time piece was my father's gift from my mother for their wedding. I had to send it back to Tiffany's to have engraving added to the back and to enlarge the band, hence the blue box._

_I love you so much, my Jacob. You are my everything. I look forward to seeing you later today._

_Forever yours,_

_Nessie_

I untied the ribbon on the box and removed the lid. In it were head cylinder cuff links, a thistle lapel pin, and a really nice watch. I couldn't tell what metal the watch was, but it was some sort of white metal with black accents. I took the watch out and read the back:

_5-17-1992_

_Phil & Renee Dwyer_

_Today I Become Whole..._

_Jacob & Nessie Black_

_9-10-2014_

I smiled. She gave me something of her father's and I gave her something of my mother's. We are two halves of the same whole. I read the second card and it was the lyrics to INXS, _Never Tear Us Apart_.

_Don't ask me_

_What you know is true_

_Don't have to tell you_

_I love your precious heart_

_I, I was standing_

_You were there_

_Two worlds collided_

_And they could never tear us apart_

_We could live_

_For a thousand years_

_But if I hurt you_

_I'd make wine from your tears_

_I told you_

_That we could fly_

_'Cause we all have wings_

_But some of us don't know why_

_I, I was standing_

_You were there_

_Two worlds collided_

_And they could never ever tear us apart _

Of course, Nessie was right, as she usually is. There was nothing that could ever separate us. Though we may come from totally different backgrounds, we were meant to be together and to complete each other. I would have to do better in the future not to make her feel bad about money differences. After all it was just money, and Nessie was more important to me than any material thing or any abstract concept.

I got dressed and put on all of Nessie's gifts. All the men were getting dressed and leaving from there – we were taking separate cars from there to the church so that the girls would all have someone to ride with from the church. I had a plain black suit with a black tie. The other men had brown suits and ties. At 6 am I slipped away from everyone to pray. I couldn't talk to Nessie that morning, but I could be spiritually connected. At 6:15 we drove to the church to finish getting it ready and to wait for the girls.

Alice had given Emmett a list of errands to do and he was running to the florist to pick up all the flowers. She had Jasper assigned to make sure the Church was fully prepped to her satisfaction and the programs were laid out in the chairs. Emmett came in at about 6:45 with two large floral arrangements which he delivered to Jasper and then he went out for more flowers he carried one large box of flowers to the room the girls would be in and then delivered a large centerpiece to the front of the church. At 7:10 Rose and Bella came in and locked me into the room I would be waiting in. _My girl was in the building_, I smiled at the thought. A few minutes later the pregnant pixie came in and fixed my hair, straightened my tie and told me not to leave the room until 7:55 on the dot, at which time I could enter the chapel to wait with Edward.

I entered the chapel with Edward by my side at 7:55 and every seat with the exception of seven on each side of the church was taken. There was a light colored carpet running down the center or the aisle. There were flowers hanging on the wall to both sides of the alter and a picture of my mother was centered in the floral arrangement on my side and a picture of Renee and Phil was centered in the other arrangement. Just before eight, Emmett escorted Esme to one of the empty seats on the brides side.

As I waited for Nessie, all I could think about was how amazingly lucky I was to have found her and to have had the opportunity to love her. I was nervous that I would somehow embarrass her, but I set all my nerves aside and concentrated on the doorway to the chapel.

At 8am the music transitioned and the bridesmaids and groomsmen made their way in. Each of the girls was dressed differently, but they all matched; they were wearing dark brown dresses and white shawls. They all held bouquets of tiny pink flowers which Nessie later told me were lilies of the valley. They made their way in and each stepped to their assigned place. Bella entered alone. The music changed and my attention was riveted to the door of the chapel.

Nessie walked in with Carlisle at her side. She carried a bouquet of tiny white flowers that looked just like the other bouquets. Her dress was a knee length princess type dress, the top was fitted to her form and was solid from her waist up to just above her breasts, then the fabric became sheer and extended to her neck. Her arms were bare. Over her face and dress was a sheer white veil with lace edges that went down to just below her collarbone. She was gorgeous and she was beaming with joy. Her eyes sparkled at me. She didn't look away from me once.

My breath hitched at her beauty and the look of joy in her eyes. She walked toward me and I felt like she was moving in slow motion. I wanted her with me desperately. What in the world did I do to deserve this amazing woman walking toward me?

Carlisle set her hand in mine and slid her veil so that the lace was against the top of her head and the veil cascaded down her shoulders to her elbows. Her right hand was wrapped in my Mom's Rosary. She handed her bouquet to Bella and took my other hand. The priest went through the opening prayers and then the entire wedding party took their seats. We were seated on my side of the church beside the groomsmen.

Zafrina came forward to read the Old Testament reading "A reading from the Song of Songs 2:8-10, 14, 16a; 8:6-7a

_Hark! my lover – here he comes_

_springing across the mountains,_

_leaping across the hills._

_My lover is like a gazelle_

_or a young stag._

_Here he stands behind our wall,_

_gazing through the windows,_

_peering through the lattices._

_My lover speaks; he says to me,_

_'Arise, my beloved, my dove, my beautiful one, and come!_

_'O my dove in the clefts of the rock,_

_in the secret recesses of the cliff,_

_Let me see you,_

_let me hear your voice,_

_for your voice is sweet,_

_and you are lovely.'_

_My lover belongs to me and I to him._

_He says to me:_

_'Set me as a seal on your heart,_

_as a seal on your arm;_

_For stern as death is love,_

_relentless as the nether world is devotion;_

_its flames are a blazing fire._

_Deep waters cannot quench love,_

_nor floods sweep it away.'_

The word of the Lord."

Everyone replied, "Thanks be to God."

My Nessie was so adorable. She was this shy girl who chose erotic scripture readings for our old testament selection. The Songs of Solomon are restricted in some churches because of their suggestive lyrics.

Claire came forward and led us in song for the Responsorial Psalm, _Happy are Those who do what the Lord Commands_. Everyone sang the Alleluias with her.

I took a moment to just look at Nessie. She was so happy. I watched as she sang with the congregation and I was suddenly overwhelmed by what an amazing moment this was. In a few minutes Nessie and I would exchange our vows and she would really truly be mine. I felt my eyes misting, but I blinked quickly and swallowed the lump in my throat. There was no way I would cry at my wedding.

Carmen came forward for the second reading, "A reading from the Letter of Saint Paul to the Ephesians 5:2a, 21-33

"Brothers and sisters: Live in love, as Christ loved us and handed himself over for us. Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his wife just as Christ is head of the Church, he himself the savior of the body. As the Church is subordinate to Christ, so wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, that he might present to himself the Church in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. So also husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the Church, because we are members of his Body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the Church. In any case, each one of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should respect her husband. The word of the Lord."

"Thanks be to God," we all responded. Ephesians five, of course, Nessie would pick a scripture that deals with headship and submission. I will care for her and cherish her as Christ cares for and cherishes the church.

We stood and Claire led the gathering in a chorus of Alleluia.

The priest then read the Gospel. "A reading from the holy Gospel according to Matthew 19:3-6." The gospel was the one that includes what God has joined together, man must not separate. We all said our amen and took our seats and then he spoke about the importance of the sacrament of marriage for quite a while.

He had Nessie and I stand to perform the rite of marriage. Nessie and I stood before the Priest and he examined our intentions before the congregation. "My dear friends, you have come together in this church so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of the Church's minister and this community. Christ abundantly blesses this love. He has already consecrated you in baptism and now he enriches and strengthens you by a special sacrament so that you may assume the duties of marriage in mutual and lasting fidelity. And so, in the presence of the Church, I ask you to state your intentions. Jacob and Renesmee, have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?"

"I have," we each answered in turn.

"Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?"

"I will," we each stated.

"Will you accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

"I will," we each replied.

"Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church."

We faced each other and joined hands. I spoke the words I had memorized for the ceremony, "I, Jacob, take you, Renesmee, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you, honor you, cherish you, and protect you all the days of my life." I had slipped in a promise to protect her.

Nessie replied, "I, Renesmee, take you, Jacob, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you, honor you, cherish you, and obey you all the days of my life."

_Did she really slip the phrase 'obey you' in there? _The crowd gasped obviously shocked that she had promised to obey me. Obedience in a marriage was not a very twenty-first century concept and though we had discussed headship and submission and agreed that I would be the head of the household and she would be obedient in our marriage. I didn't expect her to declare her perspective on it so openly for all our friends and family.

The priest was not phased in the slightest, and spoke to us both, "You have declared your consent before the Church. May the Lord in his goodness strengthen your consent and fill you both with his blessings. What God has joined, men must not divide."

Everyone responded with, "Amen."

Edward came forward and gave us each our plain platinum bands. The priest set his hands over ours and said, "Lord, bless and consecrate Jacob and Renesmee in their love for each other. May these rings be a symbol of true faith in each other, and always remind them of their love. Through Christ our Lord."

Everyone responded with, "Amen."

I placed Nessie's ring on her finger and spoke, "Nessie, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

Nessie placed my ring on my finger and said "Jacob, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

Esme came forward and read the Prayer of the Faithful. The organist played a song while Becks and Raych brought forward the bread and wine. The priest prayed over the Eucharist and we sang the _Holy, Holy_. We then knelt while the priest continued to pray. We stood and joined hands to pray the _Our Father_. The priest then asked Nessie and I to kneel before him for a blessing and prayed over us and the Eucharist.

After the blessing he said the words I had been dying to hear all morning, "You may offer each other a sign of peace."

I kissed Nessie passionately and heard Emmett and some of the other guys hollering and whooping. Nessie and I then went and gave hugs to our closest friends and family for a few moments. We returned to the altar and knelt to sing Lamb of God while the priest broke the bread. The priest gave Nessie and I the body and blood of Christ and then invited any other Catholics in attendance to receive communion, he invited non-Catholics to receive a blessing if they chose to come forward. The organists provided music while we prayed.

After communion the priest gave us another blessing. And invited everyone to stand and join by responding with Amen. "May God, the almighty Father, give you his joy and bless you in your children." He paused for the Amen. "May the only Son of God have mercy on you and help you in good times and in bad." He paused again for the Amen. "May the Holy Spirit of God always fill your hearts with his love." The congregation responded with Amen. "And may almighty God bless you all, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit." He signed the cross everyone responded with Amen. We stood and he presented Nessie and I to everyone and dismissed us. "Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Black, May you go and serve the lord. Thanks be to God."

The room responded with, "Thanks be to God"

We left the chapel to the sounds of _Joyful, Joyful_.

I was so incredible happy to officially be married. We went immediately to the back of the church. I had known what the ceremony order would be because we had to memorize portions and practice it, but for the rest of the day I didn't know what was coming.

"We're married now! Mrs. Black!" I kissed her again.

"Yes, we are, Mr. Black!" She hugged me while Alice moved us to a private room and sent everyone else on to the next destination.

We both were just overwhelmed by the joy of being married. We finally belonged to each other legally and spiritually. We were both so happy we could barely speak. I just wanted to have her to myself for the rest of the day, but that wasn't an option, since today was the day that all our family and friends had gathered together to celebrate our love.

We had some pictures taken in the Chapel and the Cathedral and then headed to the limo. Edward said that since the rest of the day was a surprise for me that he would get the car to where it needed to be. Nessie kept me occupied on the ride with hugs and kisses so I didn't even notice where we were going.

A few minutes into the ride she playfully asked, "Jake, do you want to be totally surprised and not know where we are until we're at the reception?"

"What do you mean _totally_ surprised?" I suspected she had a blindfold nearby.

"Well do you want me to blindfold you or do you want to see where we are when we get to the building?" she teased, laying kisses along my jaw.

I wasn't about to be blindfolded and miss a second of our glorious day. "I just don't think I can take my eyes off you. I only get to see you in this dress today; I want to savor every second of it."

"So, no, blindfold then." She smiled. I kissed her until we were breathless. The limo stopped; the driver opened the door for us. I stepped out and realized we were at the Space Needle.

"Seriously, Nessie?"

She smiled up at me. "Well, it had the most sentimental value. The other option was the Aquarium and it wasn't as nice."

"I love you!" I picked her up and spun around gleefully.

"I know," she said smugly, "and I love you, my dear husband."

"Mine. My wife." I kissed her.

She pulled away, humming happily, "Mmm... As much as I would love to stay here and do this; I think we have ten people waiting to head upstairs with us and sixty people waiting upstairs."

We took an elevator that led to a corridor and private room. Nessie said we wanted to make sure everything was ready before we entered and this would give us a place to get away if we had to. It was a large room that overlooked downtown Seattle. She said that since we were having our reception early in the day we got this room as a bonus; normally it is used for separate functions. Alice went out and let the DJ know we were ready and then came and lined us all up so we would enter at exactly 10:30am.

We entered as he called our names, "I'd like to introduce the Wedding Party: Miss Carmen Sandino Perez escorted by Mr. Embry Call, Miss Zafrina Braga escorted by Mr. Quil Ateara, Dr. and Mrs. Jasper and Alice Whitlock, Mr. and Mrs. Emmett and Rosalie Cullen, and the Best Man and Matron of Honor Dr. and Mrs. Edward and Bella Masen. Now, I'd like everyone to stand and welcome the couple of the hour: Mr. and Mrs. Jacob and Renesmee Black." We entered and everyone clapped and cheered.

I looked around and the light and dark brown theme had been carried into the decorations here as well. We immediately went to our table and I noticed the centerpieces had nonpareils and cupcakes which I strongly suspected were Nana Black's refrigerator cupcakes on stands. For favors there were little packages of tea, cocoa, and coffee with our names on them and the date in light and dark brown mugs. My girl was very clever; giving people breakfast drinks at a brunch. She had also included a card on each place setting stating, '_A $50 donation will be made to Mothers Against Drunk Drivers in your name in honor of Sarah Black 1963 – 1996, Renee Dwyer 1969 – 2008, and Philip Dwyer 1971 – 2008. Thank you for joining us today to celebrate our wedding. Love, Jake and Nessie Black._'

"Nessie, did you do this?" I held up the card.

"Of course, Jake."

"It just seems a little much. Did Carlisle and Esme pay for that or did we?" I didn't want to take advantage of Carlisle and Esme's generosity like that.

"I wanted to make sure we got a plaque on the memorial tree for our parents regardless of how much we raised from the wedding. We're paying for that favor, but I wanted to wait until today so you could approve of the donation as well."

"Okay, I'm glad _we_ are paying for that." I smiled.

"_We_, I like that." She sighed.

"Me too."

The DJ announced that it was almost time for the meal, but first there would be two blessings given. The first person to stand and take the microphone was old Quil. "I ask that the spirit of the Great Wolf come upon Jake and Nessie and bless their marriage. May you respect the old ways and have many children to teach our ways to. May you be strong in love and faith and life. Amen."

Then Carlisle took the microphone for a more traditional prayer. "Heavenly Father, thank you for blessing us with each others' company and friendship, thank you for providing for our every need, we ask that you bless May and Jake in their lives, may you extend your grace upon them and all of us. Bless the food which we are about to partake in. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen."

"Did you ask old Quil to provide a Quileute blessing?" I asked Nessie.

"Yes," she giggled.

"You're already getting on his good side." I smiled at her.

"Well, I always have been a charmer," she giggled.

A server came and let us know that we could go get our meals. I started with eggs, salmon, fruit, and potatoes. Ness grabbed potatoes, apple crepes, fruit, and bacon. The server asked us what we would like to drink and set me up with orange juice and coffee and set Ness up with apple juice and tea. About half way through our meal we started hearing the 'tink... tink... tink...' of knives on glasses I leaned in for a sweet kiss and the room clapped. We went back for a second serving of food this time I went with the mixed green salad and pasta salad, while Nessie got more potatoes and a mixed green salad. I was tempted by the muffins and pastries, but decided it would still be there later.

When Nessie and I finished our meals Edward rose for his toast. "There are eight of us at this table who will forever be impacted by a chance encounter. Could my seven closest friends stand? You know who you are." I took Nessie's hand and rose from my seat. I looked around and Bella, Rose, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper were also standing. "We were all connected like a Kevin Bacon game when one day our friend Alice Brandon decided to plan an event for her Honors Thesis. It was a charity ball for an Autism foundation and Jasper was one of the doctors involved with the foundation. He met Alice and she is quite the force of nature. Anyway, let me explain how we were all related beforehand. Emmett is the son of Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, his cousins are Bella and May or as Jake likes to call her Nessie, Alice and Bella were best friends in high school. Jake and Emmett met playing rec center football as little kids. Bella and Jake's dads were best friends and Bella and Jake were a couple when I met them. Alice had some family trouble when she was fifteen and her best friend told her aunt who then decided to foster the young Miss Brandon. So you get the relationship between the five of them, right?" He paused for murmured assents. "Then you have two doctors who meet as Residents at Seattle Children's Hospital and become best friends. One of those doctors has a kid sister who is a beauty queen who loves working on cars. Sounding complicated yet?" He paused for the chuckling to die down. "So we all meet at this engagement party for Alice and Jasper.

"Bella and Jake are a very happy couple. Everything about them seems perfect – they are best friends and have quite an intense romantic relationship as well. Jake is like an older brother to her little sister who by the way Bella was guardian of before she was twenty-one. Rosalie has a fiancé. Emmett and I just kind of feel like fifth wheels in the midst of this dynamic."

"Hey speak for yourself, Eddie," Emmett called.

"It's my toast." Edward chuckled. "Okay, so, even given the tightness of the family dynamic, somehow Jake, Bella, and I became extremely close." I held in my chuckle and saw that both Ness and Bella were blushing. "Jake is this awesome human being who can't help, but do the right thing. One day he realizes that even though Bella and he love each other and are best friends that they aren't in love any more. Now, these two have been together six years at this point. She is his first love and he would do just about anything for the girl, but he can see they aren't meant for each other. He ends their relationship and tells her and May that he still wants to be part of their lives. Bella and I start dating and Jake even helps us out by hanging out with May on nights where Bella and I want to be alone. Never once did he utter a single word of complaint. Rose comes to town a short while after that and no, Jake and Rose do not start dating." I chuckle at the absurdity. "But, they did develop a friendship that would allow both of them to pursue a lifelong ambition of owning an auto repair shop.

"At this point we are eight close friends. Alice and Jazz are married and Bella and I are dating. Rose is just out of a bad breakup, Jake is seeing Leah Clearwater." Leah huffed loudly a few tables away. "May is sixteen. Emmett isn't dating anyone, but has recently transplanted to Seattle. Em and Rose end up in a whirlwind relationship and quickly are living together. One night Jake is out on a date with Leah and May calls him in a panic. Does anyone object to me sharing this? It's a little late now if you do, but I am trying to demonstrate the relationship I watched grow and change to the room." Ness and I gestured to keep moving on – I hadn't considered how long winded Edward can be when I asked him to do this. "Anyway, May, was assaulted that night. Jake left Leah without even an explanation he just threw some money on the table and took off when he realized that May was in trouble. Needless to say, he and Leah ended their socializing soon after that.

"That wasn't the first time Jake saved May and it wouldn't be the last time. So now we have a sixteen year old girl with a bit of a crush and some heavy hero worship happening." I squeezed Nessie against my side. "Her savior is trying to just be the great guy we know him to be. Jake and May both dated some duds. Bella and I got married. Em and Rose got married. Finally, one night more than two years later, Jake admits he feels slightly more than fraternal feelings for May and they start dating shortly after that. Now, remember how I said Em and Rose had a whirlwind romance?" He pauses for a few murmurs of assent. "Well their relationship was moving at a turtle's pace compared to May and Jake. Four weeks to the day after these two had their first date Jake called Bella to ask for permission to marry her little sister and here we sit less than eight months later.

"Don't get me wrong these two are a perfect match in every way. They have known each other longer than any of the other three couples standing here knew each other. They complement each other. They are two halves of the same whole. So now that I have pontificated at length about our relationships I think it is time for an actual toast. Ever notice this is the part that is most often forgotten in the Best Man's toast. Jake and Nessie May, from the six of us we wish you the best. May you live with all the happiness you could desire. May you always be the others' perfect complement. May you be blessed with longevity, prosperity, and fertility. May you always have emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual well being. May your sex life never be boring. SALUT!" He clinked his glass to Emmett's and they both down their entire flutes in one gulp.

Everyone laughed and chatted for a few minutes then I heard the glass 'tink... tink... tink...' sound again. Nessie turned to me and swept her lips lightly against mine five times in about five seconds. She was teasing me. I laughed and then grabbed her for a firm deep kiss. She relaxed and I heard cat calls before I ended the kiss.

Nessie and I were called out to the dance floor. This was the only thing I was concerned about leaving as a surprise since I didn't know what I would be dancing to. I had told Rose my concerns in April and she gave me ballroom lessons on our lunch hours so I could be prepared for whatever might come next. She refused to tell me which dance I should prepare and instead practiced all the styles with me. Nessie knew what the music was and she practiced dancing with Jasper since both he and Rose had extensive ballroom lessons as kids. I now knew how to dance the Tango, Waltz, Rumba, Salsa, Foxtrot, and Bolero.

Nessie and I got to the middle of the dance floor and I said, "So, am I going to embarrass myself now?" I heard a soft beat begin in this background and pulled her in close. I didn't recognize the song yet, so I just started swaying.

"Rose said she got you prepared. So, I think you'll be fine." She giggled. The lyrics started, and I panicked a bit, I had no idea which dance form to use for _Lucky_ by Jason Mraz. She smiled as she looked into my face and said, "Foxtrot." I relaxed and started leading her around the room.

_Do you hear me? I'm talking to you_

_Across the water across the deep blue ocean_

_Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying_

_Boy I hear you in my dreams_

_I feel your whisper across the sea_

_I keep you with me in my heart_

_You make it easier when life gets hard_

_I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend_

_Lucky to have been where I have been_

_Lucky to be coming home again_

_Ooh ooh ooh_

_They don't know how long it takes_

_Waiting for a love like this_

_Every time we say goodbye_

_I wish we had one more kiss_

_I'll wait for you I promise you, I will_

I lifted her as I spun her around and gave her a quick kiss.

_I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend_

_Lucky to have been where I have been_

_Lucky to be coming home again_

_Lucky we're in love in every way_

_Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed_

_Lucky to be coming home someday_

_And so I'm sailing through the sea_

_To an island where we'll meet_

_You'll hear the music fill the air_

_I'll put a flower in your hair_

_Though the breezes through trees_

_Move so pretty you're all I see_

_As the world keeps spinning 'round_

_You hold me right here, right now_

_I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend_

_Lucky to have been where I have been_

_Lucky to be coming home again_

_I'm lucky we're in love in every way_

_Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed_

_Lucky to be coming home someday_

I swayed us and kissed her lightly.

_Ooh ooh ooh_

_Ooh ooh ooh, ooh_

I dipped her deep and ended with a passionate kiss. The room clapped loudly. As I brought us back to a standing position Ness said, "I love you."

"I love you, too," I whispered. I was so relieved I had made it through the song without making us look like total idiots. Rose had done an excellent job preparing me for the dance, but even so, the song was probably one of the harder songs to dance to in public. Although, I did completely understand why Nessie had picked that song and the lyrics described us perfectly. We were truly lucky to be best friends and to be in love.

The DJ then began telling all the married couples to join us on the dance floor for the next dance. I raised my eyebrows, having no idea what was coming next.

Nessie giggled, "Just wait you'll see." The song _100 Years_ by Five for Fighting began and we started a tight waltz. I knew how to dance this one, since Rose and I had practiced it in the shop.

_I'm 15 for a moment_

_Caught in between 10 and 20_

_And I'm just dreaming_

_Counting the ways to where you are_

_I'm 22 for a moment_

_She feels better than ever_

_And we're on fire_

_Making our way back from Mars_

The DJ said, "Anyone married less than 24 hours please leave the dance floor." I twirled Nessie dramatically as I led her off the floor. We stood to the edge and watched the other couples dancing.

_15 there's still time for you_

_Time to buy and time to lose_

_15, there's never a wish better than this_

_When you only got 100 years to live_

"Anyone married less than 1 year please leave the dance floor." Rose and Emmett left with a flourish.

_I'm 33 for a moment_

_Still the man, but you see I'm a they_

_A kid on the way_

_A family on my mind_

"Anyone married less than 5 years please leave the dance floor." Edward and Bella, Jasper and Alice, and Jared and Kim left the dance floor.

_I'm 45 for a moment_

_The sea is high_

_And I'm heading into a crisis_

_Chasing the years of my life_

"Anyone married less than 10 years please leave the dance floor." Rachel and Paul made their way off the floor. The couples remaining were Rebecca and Jon, Carlisle and Esme, old Quil and Rachel Ateara, and four other couples from La Push the Pullens, Foleys, Whites, and Kings.

_15 there's still time for you_

_Time to buy, Time to lose yourself_

_Within a morning star_

_15 I'm all right with you_

_15, there's never a wish better than this_

"Anyone married less than 15 years please leave the dance floor." Jon spun Rebecca out and led her off the floor.

_When you only got 100 years to live_

_Half time goes by_

_Suddenly you're wise_

_Another blink of an eye_

_67 is gone_

_The sun is getting high_

_We're moving on..._

"Anyone married less than 20 years please leave the dance floor." Everyone kept dancing.

_I'm 99 for a moment_

_Dying for just another moment_

_And I'm just dreaming_

_Counting the ways to where you are_

"Anyone married less than 25 years please leave the dance floor." Mr. and Mrs. King and Mr. and Mrs. Foley made their way off the floor.

_15 there's still time for you_

_22 I feel her too_

_33 you're on your way_

_Every day's a new day..._

"Anyone married less than 30 years please leave the dance floor." Mr. and Mrs. Pullen and Mr. and Mrs. White made their way off the floor.

_15 there's still time for you_

_Time to buy and time to choose_

_Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this_

"Anyone married less than 40 years please leave the dance floor." Carlisle spun Esme out and left the floor. Which left old Quil and his cute little old wife, Rachel, dancing a slow waltz.

_When you only got 100 years to live _

"What is this distinguished couple's name?" the DJ asked.

Embry hollered, "Quil and Rachel Ateara."

The DJ brought his mic to the dance floor and asked, "How long have you been married, Mr. and Mrs. Ateara?"

"Sixty-three years," Quil answered.

"Wow, congratulations. Sixty-three years takes a lot of work. Do you have any advice for Jake and Nessie on how to make their marriage last?"

Mrs. Ateara took the mic in her small hand and said simply, "Never go to bed angry." The room started laughing.

"That sure is great advice. Now, the bride and groom have something for you as the winners of the anniversary dance." I looked at Nessie and she was holding a large white basket in her hand. We walked over to the Atearas. Nessie handed me the basket and hugged both of them.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ateara," Nessie began with a wide smile, "we will do our best to honor your example. Here is a gift to show our appreciation of your accomplishment." I handed old Quil the basket. She lowered her voice so only we could hear her, "In it you will find a voucher for a one week all inclusive stay at the Fairmont Empress in Victoria. If you don't have passports it can be used at the Fairmont Olympic here, in Seattle. It also includes some romantic supplies for your vacation."

All I could do was smile, give them hugs, and my congratulations. I was a little worried about whether they would accept the gift. They seemed okay with it though, so I decided to leave it alone. I didn't want to embarrass anyone, especially Nessie.

The DJ put on some more dance music and the bridal party did their best to get people dancing. Nessie and I went to each table to talk to each guest. When we had finished making our rounds Alice led us to the cake table and the DJ made an announcement. The boys started calling for cake smears. We walked hand in hand to the cake table. A funky disco beat was playing in the background, Nessie later told me it was called _Cut the Cake_ by Average White.

The cake was a round three level structure with dark chocolate glaze and light brown swirls on the sides. It had a silver B standing on the top. I knew it was from Belle Pastry as soon as I saw it.

"Belle Pastry – Chocolate Mousse?" I asked.

"Of course. It was the only cake I even considered."

"I love you." I smiled and kissed her sweetly.

"I love you, too" she replied and then whispered, "Nothing on the clothes." I smiled, my girl was seriously going to let me smear her without penalty. I'd be nice about it, though.

"Do I get to lick it off?"

"Only if I get to lick yours off." She replied, licking her lips.

_She might not be as nice as I would, but it was her day._ I watched as she bit her lip. _God she was so sexy. Pure thoughts, Jake, you don't want a tent in the pictures._

"Where exactly are we aiming, again?" I said in mock innocence, playing on the innuendo. Everyone who wanted to witness the cake exchange was gathered around us with cameras.

Nessie took the knife in her hand and I wrapped my hand around her much smaller one. We sliced two squares off the corner and then fed each other one bite. The flavor was divine. I then lightly smeared the two toned chocolate onto her nose and chin. She laughed and smiled wickedly. She took her piece and smashed it against my mouth and rubbed it as far as she could. I set down the remaining cake I was holding and carefully wiped my hand with a napkin. She looked confused. Nessie had no idea what I was planning. I grabbed her waist and quickly moved my face to hers. Her eyes lit up as she realized what was about to happen. I crashed our lips together so both our faces were coated in chocolate cake, mousse, and ganache. I held one hand under her chin to keep any from hitting her dress. We were both laughing loudly as I pulled back and looked at her chocolate covered face.

I started to lead Nessie around the corner, when Alice handed me a stack of napkins and sternly said, "We still have a lot to do – you have ten minutes and then I'll send Emmett in for you two." We made our way to the private room. We got cleaned up with kisses, licks, whispered words of love, and finally napkins. After ten minutes, Emmett came in with Rose and she led Nessie away to fix her makeup.

I waited for Ness and we were moved onto the next tradition. All the single girls were gathered on the floor – it was Nessie's friends, Leah Clearwater and several younger girls from the reservation who came with their parents. Most of the people I invited were old family friends or already married. Emmett stood beside me while the girls were arranging themselves and _All the Single Ladies_ was playing in the background.

"Alice or Rose will kill me if they find out I did this, but I couldn't resist." He said. "I changed the song for the garter removal and brought you these." He slipped something soft and silky into my hand. "I'm sure you can figure out what to do." He blocked everyone's view of me so I could look at what he had put into my hand. I had two pairs of underwear – one was a cherry red thong and the other was a pair of peach granny panties. I smiled and shoved one up each of my sleeves.

"You're right – the pregnant pixie will kill you." I laughed at him.

"Just make my death worth it." He chuckled. "I had to give the DJ quite a bribe to get him to change the music."

I watched as Nessie threw her bouquet and all the women wrestled for it. Claire came out the victor with slightly mussed hair. Nessie took a seat in the center of the dance floor and I knelt in front of her. I heard the music start and looked up in her face – she was confused, but going with it. It was Marvin Gaye's _Let's Get It On_. I worked my hands seductively up her leg. After my hands were hidden under her skirt I took the granny panties out and started hamming it up. I made it look like I couldn't get the garter off. Nessie was giggling at my antics. I wrapped the panties around her leg just above her knee to make it look like I was really taking off garter and slid them down her leg. I pulled them off around her stiletto and then flicked them out like a flag. I put on a fake horrified face and held up the panties for everyone to see. They were probably four times the size of what Nessie would wear. The whole room erupted in laughter. I put on a perplexed face and then peeked under her skirt and acted like I had just figured it out. I started again and repeated the process with the small red thong and the other leg. The room erupted in laughter again and Nessie was giggling loudly.

I put on a determined face and worked my hands back under her skirt. This time intentionally grazing her panties. She gasped and blushed. I chuckled and touched her a few more times. Then I put on a frustrated face and moved my head under her skirt. I grabbed her garter with my teeth and worked it down her leg. I had to use my hands to get it around her heel. I swung my trophy around. Then stood, helped Nessie up, and kissed her.

The music shifted to _Wild Thing_ and the single guys went to the floor; these were all people I knew and a couple of Nessie's friend's dates: several teenage boys from the Rez, Quil, Embry, and a few of my friends from college. Toward the end of the song I stretch the garter and shot it like an elastic band over my head. I turned around and saw the boys wrestling for it. Quil shot up with the trophy. Claire came and sat in the chair and Nessie stood behind her. The music switched to _Hello, I Love You_ and the DJ gave Quil some instructions. Claire was in a light pink dress that came to her mid thigh. Quil quickly worked it up her leg just under her hem line and then pulled her in for a dance. We spent another hour or two dancing. Alice had us visit the observation deck for more pictures and then we were led to Nessie's car by Bella and Edward.

I almost didn't recognize her car – it was covered in 'Just Married' signs and painted on hearts. I prayed to God that Rosalie was involved so I wouldn't have to refinish the paint later. I knew that Alice had packed for Nessie and that Edward made sure we had all our luggage. We hugged our families and got in the car. Now it was my turn to surprise her.

I had managed to keep my thoughts and behavior mostly pure through the day, so I didn't ruin her day with an obvious erection. As I drove away from the Space Needle, my thoughts quickly went to claiming my wife. I would be the first and only man to make love to her and I was a bit nervous about hurting her. I wanted today to be perfect for her and worried about her expectations. I loved her more than life itself and I never wanted to hurt her, but it was an unavoidable reality. I remembered how incredibly awkward mine and Bella's first time was, from her obvious pain to my being a minute man, it was just an all around bad time. Tonight would not be like that for Ness. I had to make sure tonight would be everything she ever hoped for.

~*O*~

**Coming Up:**

"Do you need or want anything?" he asked softly.

"Just you," I answered.

"Do you need time or do you want to make love now?"

"I need you now, my husband, my Jacob." I was insanely turned on by being his wife. I wanted him to take me in every way.

"I love you, my wife, my Nessie." He caressed my cheek and leaned in for a soft kiss.

"I love you too," I whispered after he kissed me.

**~*Visual Stimulation*~**

**Reminder of rehearsal dinner gifts: www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/rehearsal_dinner_gifts/set?id=18297713**

**Nessie's gifts for Jake: www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/jakes_gifts_from_nessie/set?id=18481191**

**Wedding Ceremony: www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/potential_ceremony_concepts/set?id=18223334**

**Reception: www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/wedding_reception/set?id=18481169**

**Dancing with the Stars, foxtrot, Lucky: www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=McjUi_cK3R8 **


	18. First Night

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on/explore BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes RARE Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship.**

Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s, BDSM, or DD lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual.

**Special thanks to my awesome beta Sawny94. This story is better because of your help. If you enjoy my story please check Sawny94 out she was one of my inspirations. You're awesome.**

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS! **

Lemony goodness in this chapter. I hope you're thirsty.

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while. Song lyrics are the property of their respective authors.**

_I'll make love to you _

_When you want me to _

_And I will not let go _

_Till you tell me to _

_Girl relax, let's go slow _

_I ain't got nowhere to go _

_I'm just gonna concentrate on you_

_I'll Make Love to You, _Boyz II Men

Chapter 18: First Night

RPOV

The wedding was perfect. Even when Emmett managed to alter the music for the garter removal – it actually made the day more perfect. Alice was furious and I'm sure the DJ was taking a substantial risk by going against her orders, but Jazz calmed her down. Jake loved the Roy Rogers and the sourpatch watermelons when he finally noticed them. I think Quil and Claire are actually on their way to becoming a couple, she told me before we left that they had a date planned for tonight. They had never met before yesterday and now they are going out on a date today.

Finally it was time for our honeymoon and I knew that whatever he chose that it would be perfect. Jake opened the passenger side door of the convertible and helped me in. Then he went around to the drivers side. We exchanged I love yous and talked about the day while he drove for about thirty minutes. We arrived at a lodge overlooking a waterfall called the Salish Lodge. A bellman came and grabbed our bags while Jake came around and opened my door. He led us in and checked in at the front desk and got our keys. Jacob lifted me up and carried me across the threshold after he had unlocked the door. The bellman had already dropped off our bags and apparently the resort was expecting us because their were rose petals strewn on the floor and lavender candles lit all around the room. The room was beautiful. We had a king sized bed with a two person hot tub and a fireplace in our room overlooking the river. There was soft music playing in the background.

Jacob set me on my feet and slipped his shoes and socks off.

"Do you need or want anything?" he asked softly, giving me the chance to slow our pace.

"Just you," I answered honestly. I was so excited and I just wanted to feel him inside me.

"Do you need time or do you want to make love now?" he asked, fidgeting. I could see the lust in his eyes, but I also knew he was telling me that tonight would be at my pace.

"I need you now, my husband, my Jacob." I was insanely turned on by being his wife. I wanted him to take me in every way.

"I love you, my wife, my Nessie." He caressed my cheek and leaned in for a soft kiss.

"I love you too," I whispered after he kissed me.

"I promise I'll go slow and be gentle. I want to make you feel good, but it will hurt, Ness. I can't prevent that even though I wish I could."

"I know, Jake. I trust you and I want you to make me yours in every way. We are joined in our souls and legally now. Tonight we will join in our flesh and bind ourselves together forever in every way."

"Do you want me to use a condom? I know you were adamant about double protection when we first talked about sex."

"No, Jake. I want to feel _all_ of you inside me. If God wills us to get pregnant while I'm on the pill then so be it."

"I love you so much." He held me tightly and moved his fingers to my zipper at the back of my dress. He unzipped my dress and slid my straps off my shoulders. The dress pooled at my feet and I stepped out of it. I stood there in a white bustier, white cheeky panties, a single garter and my stiletto heels.

He took off his jacket and tie while I picked up my dress and hung it in the closet. We were both a little nervous and simple rituals were helping to calm us. I walked over and started unbuttoning his shirt for him; we kissed while I undid the buttons. He worked on gently pulling hair pins out of my hair while I worked on his shirt and pants. He rubbed my scalp to check for more pins and loosen the tension. I had unbuttoned and unzipped all I could without his help. He shrugged out of his shirt and stepped out of his pants. He knelt down and removed my shoes and garter. He looked up at me while he moved his hands to the back of my bustier and unhooked it slowly. I tugged on his undershirt and he lifted his arms so I could remove it. He was concentrating on my face while he removed my bustier and then I knew he would remove my panties. He slipped his strong rough fingers into the sides of my panties and gently slid them down my legs, but his hands came to a stop.

He glanced down and I saw his confusion. "Did you shave?"

"Nope." I giggled.

"Waxed?" His brow was furrowed.

"Mmm... Hmm..."

"You know you don't have to, right?"

"I know – I wanted to – do you like it?"

He smiled. "I love it, but I don't want you in unnecessary pain for my benefit."

"I don't mind. If you like it – I'll keep doing it; if you don't – I'll let it return to natural."

"I like it." He ran his hand along my hairless mound and lips. He kissed my mound and then stood. He led us to the bed.

"Don't you need to take those off to make this work?" I asked while looking at his boxers.

"They're staying on until you're ready for me. Let me take care of you, Nessie. I know what you need. Trust me." He looked deep in my eyes as he softly caressed my shoulders and upper arms.

"I do trust you. I'm in your hands tonight. I love you." I kissed him softly.

"I love you too. Will you tell me if and when I'm hurting you? I need to know what feels good and what hurts," he said sincerely.

"Yes, Jacob," I promised, I needed him to touch me, to love me. Oh, God, I needed Jacob so badly.

He laid me out and then started to kiss down my body. He spent a lot of time on my breasts; licking, sucking, and biting them. My husband loved my breasts. It sent shivers of pleasure through me to say that, my husband.

As much as I enjoyed it when he caressed my breasts I needed more. I whimpered as my core began to ache; wet and begging for his touch. I watched as his hand began stroking towards my pussy, his body began to make the descent down as well. He started with gentle kisses and licks and then he added his finger to my tight center. I squealed in delight. He lifted his head, his heavy lidded eyes were bright with concern. "Are you okay, Nessie?"

"Yes – it feels so good," I panted, as I clutched his short hair in my fists.

He worked his finger in and out of me while his lips and tongue worked on my swollen clit and moist lips. I moaned in ecstasy, "Oh Jacob – I love you – I love having you inside me!"

He groaned at my words, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure through my body. He carried on for a while longer and then slipped another finger into me. I cried out softly, feeling my body stretch to accommodate him. He asked, "How do you feel? Do you need me to slow down?" I didn't understand his control. I knew he needed me as much as I needed him, but he was so patient, behaving as if his needs were secondary.

"I'm just adjusting; give me a minute." He rubbed my leg with his free hand while waiting until I relaxed and nodded for him to continue. He went back to gently kissing and licking me while his fingers stroked in and out of me slowly.

He curled his fingers forward inside me and I moaned in ecstasy, but couldn't find words. My body felt like it was on fire, my hips rocked against his hand. "Good or bad, Nessie?" he asked, looking up at me with lust filled eyes.

"Good!" I eked out. He moved his fingers further forward and I mewled. His fingers stroked the spot inside me that was making me go crazy while he worked my clit with his tongue and lightly with his teeth. I was on the verge of a powerful orgasm. I was moaning loudly. He worked me harder inside and faster outside. I clenched down on his fingers and my thighs locked around Jacob's head as I let go completely. My orgasm shuddered through me and eventually I relaxed against Jacob while he continued to move inside me.

I was thoroughly relaxed and easily accepted Jacob's third finger as he slowly inserted it. I whimpered as he continued thrusting in and out of me gently. He sat up, but left his fingers inside of me. "How do you feel, Nessie?"

"So good, my Jacob, so good." I sighed happily. I was ecstatic, but I still wanted more.

He removed his fingers, smiling as he moved slowly back up my body and kissed my lips softly. "I want to make love to you. Are you ready, my Nessie?"

"I am. So ready. I love you and need you. Please." I looked into his eyes and could see the love pouring out of him.

He groaned. "I love you too, so much, Baby." He stood and slid his boxers off, giving me a glorious view of his perfect body and his long hard manhood. He positioned himself over me with his knees between my legs. He kissed me softly and whispered his love for me.

He slid his head against me and let it get wet, but didn't insert.

"Mmmm..." I moaned, "are you teasing me?"

"No, sweetheart, I'm being careful," he replied huskily while kissing my neck and ears.

He slid his head into me and I was stretched further than I ever had been. "Ahhh..." I moaned out.

He froze. His face was wrinkled in concern and love. "Do you need me to stop, Nessie?" Looking deep into his adoring eyes I knew that he would stop, no matter how painful it would be to do so, if I told him to.

If it was possible my love for him grew even greater. There was no way that I was going to cause him any discomfort though, he had waited so long for me and I was not going to deny him. I steeled myself and vowed that he would not see my pain. I took a deep breath. "Don't stop – I need you. We both knew this would hurt. I love you. Just take it slow."

"Okay – are you ready?" I nodded and he pushed another inch in until he was stretching my barrier. His face was full of concentration. I bit my lip, trying to mask my pain, but he noticed anyway. He froze again. "Don't hide your pain." He kissed me deeply. "I love you, Nessie. You don't need to be strong for me tonight. Be honest. Let me see you – fully – even if you need to cry or scream. I need to know how badly you are hurt so I can go slower if I need to." He kissed me gently and caressed my arms with his hands to soothe me.

I took another breath. "Okay – it hurts, but I do want you. I just needed a moment – you can go again."

He answered with a deep kiss as he pushed through my barrier. I felt my entrance tear. Tears streamed down my face and I cried out into his mouth, "Ow..." I dug my fingers into his back and shoulders. He froze again. "I'm sorry, Nessie. I love you. Do you need me to stop?"

I calmed my breathing and looked into his face. "Don't stop – just give me another minute." He kissed my tears away. When I felt like I had adjusted to his size my body began moving against his. I told him I was ready.

He slowly moved so that he was fully inside of me and I adjusted to his size. I had never been this close to Jacob. He was inside my most intimate place, filling me completely. I had given him a gift which I could never give again. He had taken my virginity and I was his in every way. I loved him so much. I was still uncomfortable, but I was adjusting and the knowledge that he loved me so deeply made the moment amazing.

He held his position as he kissed me and whispered his love for me. "I want you to move, Jake. I love having you in me. Make love to me," I pleaded.

I finally saw his carefully maintained control begin to abate as he started moving in and out of me softly slowly, his hands skimmed up and down my body, wrapping in my hair. I felt every movement of his large manhood against my tight walls. "Baby you feel so good, so hot, so wet just for me. Oh, Ness, you fucking amaze me. I love you so much." His pace was slow almost torturous, his beautiful ebony eyes held mine, pulling me deeper into their soulful depths.

"I love you, too. You can go faster if you want." He sped up a bit, but still was slow and gentle. He kissed me deeply. I wrapped my legs around his backside and my hands around his broad shoulders in an attempt to encourage him to go faster and deeper.

"Do you want me harder and faster, sweetheart?" I nodded and he started kissing and sucking on my collar bone as he picked up his pace some more and went a bit deeper with his thrusts. I was moaning in rapture and telling him how much I loved him. The pain had transformed into pleasure and I was rising to a crescendo of ecstasy. Jacob sensed my need and moved us slightly so he could go a bit deeper and move faster.

"Let go, my Nessie, my wife. Release with me inside you – I'm here for your pleasure. Cum for me, Baby." His words pushed me over the edge. I tightened around him and screamed out his name as my body exploded with joy and then floated on wave after wave of pleasure. Jacob thrust a few more times and then froze and shuddered with his own orgasm. "Fuck! I love you, Nessie Black!" I felt his manhood twitching inside of me as he released. He stayed where he was for a few moments and then slowly drew himself out of me and pulled us together and put the blankets over us.

I relaxed in his arms – I was definitely on an endorphin high. I took a short nap and woke around seven pm. Jacob was watching me while holding me.

"Did you sleep at all?" I asked, feeling content and safe in his arms.

"No, I was enjoying watching you sleep." He smiled happily.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, feeling ravenous after our long, eventful day.

"I'm fine. Are you hungry?" He smiled, he knew me too well.

"A little," I admitted shyly.

"Do you think you're up for a sit down meal or are you too sore?"

"I don't know. I feel fine right now."

"Try standing and stretching – I think room service might be in order."

"Really?" I asked surprised. Jake always watched out for money and room service was expensive.

"Please just try walking a short distance." I sat up and stretched I was definitely sore and surprised by where I was sore. Jake came around and stood in front of where I was sitting. I stood up and almost lost my balance, but he caught me. "Room service it is." Everything from my waist to my knees hurt. He sat me back on the bed.

"I don't understand; it didn't feel that strenuous when we were doing it, but now I feel like I ran a marathon without stretching." My face grew red thinking that Jake knew my body better then me.

"Sweetheart, you've never moved your body like you just did and you've had a very long day of dancing and you didn't stretch once. The good news is that once you're healed from today it shouldn't ever hurt like that again." He sat beside me and held me. "So do you want me to grab the room service menu and maybe get the hot tub set up. I bet your muscles would feel much better after a hot tub."

"Mmm... that sounds good." I nuzzled into his chest. He held me for another minute then he got out the room service menu to look over.

I looked over the menu, "I'll get the duck tasting. How about you?" I asked.

He looked over the menu, "I think I'll go with the pork and for dessert I'll order chocolate chip cookies for us to share."

"Okay."

He called and placed our order and then he got the fire going and started filling the tub. He grabbed a robe for each of us and put his on and then helped me with mine. A while later someone knocked on the door and Jake went and got the room service order for us both. He set up the cart in front of the bed and brought a chair over for himself. We ate and then he carried me to the hot tub so I could relax in the bath. He set me on my feet and I took off my robe.

"Aren't you going to join me?" I asked softly.

"If you want me to," he replied gently.

"Of course I want you to." I smiled.

He removed his robe and then picked me back up and moved us both into the hot tub. We laid in the tub just relaxing against each other and enjoying our time together watching the fire.

"Was today everything you imagined it would be?" he asked while rubbing my shoulders.

"Everything and more. You make my dreams come true," I answered honestly. "Thank you for being patient with me tonight."

"You don't have to thank me for that – you just gave yourself to me – the least I could do was be slow and gentle. Thank you for becoming my wife. Thank you for giving yourself to me. I love you, Nessie." He kissed me slowly, but deeply. I was too swept up in the feelings of love to answer him as I just relaxed against my husband. "So, what do you want to do tomorrow? Nothing too strenuous, but we could stay in and watch movies, get massages, or walk around the grounds."

"Massages and movies sound amazing. I don't think I'll be up for walking very far until Friday."

"I figured you would need an entire day to recover when I planned this part of our honeymoon. Do you want to get a massage in the morning? I've reserved us a couples slot for eight am if you're up for it."

"Eight am is fine. Are you running in the morning?"

"I can take the day off if you'd rather have me by your side when you wake up."

"No – it's fine. I usually sleep until after your run is over anyway. I know you had to skip it this morning and I know it's your time to lay out your day. You should do it."

"Okay, Babe. I'll be back by five-thirty. Hopefully you'll still be sleeping when I get in. We can have breakfast up here or in the dining room at seven – whichever you prefer."

"Well the tub is helping me relax immensely. So hopefully the dining room, but let's see how I feel in the morning."

"Okay, Babe." He started massaging my thighs. I moaned and I was getting excited even though I knew we couldn't do anything more tonight. He kissed the back of my neck. Then whispered in my ear, "I'm just trying to help you relax, Nessie. I don't have any expectations for either of us tonight. Just relax. Let me take care of you and soothe you."

"You don't have to, Jake," I said softly hoping he would keep going.

"Shh... you're my wife – I get to take care of you now. You are a part of me and I care for you like I would my own body." I got even more turned on as he referenced scripture. I sighed and relaxed into his massage of my thighs. I could feel his hard arousal in my back. I reached a hand behind and started stroking him. "Ness, don't," he said softly as he removed my hand from his dick.

"I should take care of you too."

"Later in the honeymoon when you're feeling better we can take care of each other all you want, but for now I'm just trying to ease some of your aches and pains. First base limit for the rest of the night," his deep voice commanded.

I pouted, but then tilted my head up for a kiss. He took my lips gently with his. We stayed in the bath a while longer then dried off and got in bed after Jake blew out all the candles. We said our prayers and then snuggled together to sleep.

I woke up at six-fifteen and Jake was casually dressed for the day, but was sitting on the bed reading the paper.

"Morning, sweetheart, do you want some tea?" He asked with a kiss. "I have the water ready."

I nodded and stretched while he got up and prepared my tea. "Did you have a nice run?"

"Yeah – the scenery is beautiful."

"How do you mark your distance on an unknown route?"

"I know the speed I need to travel and the time from the years of running so I just figure it's close enough – the time and heart rate are more important than knowing exactly how far I go."

"Well that's a bit different from the the training we did in long distance at school – they gave us rules like ten miles at seven and a half minutes or less per mile."

"Well – it's not like I'm preparing for a marathon – I just like running. So if I fudge a little or over do it once in a while then I can deal with that." He handed me my tea and picked the paper back up while he finished his coffee. I couldn't help smiling at our little domestic scene. I definitely felt like a married woman this morning watching Jacob drink his coffee and read the paper while I drank my tea. We said our prayers when I was done with my tea.

I got up and made my way to the bathroom, I was still in pain, but it was bearable. Jacob watched me carefully, ready to jump up and help me should I need it at any time. I took a nice hot shower. After my shower I had to deal with my long hair – I towel dried it and then pulled it up into a loose bun.

Frowning, I looked at the annoyingly long, thick, bronze locks. "Jake, how attached to my long hair are you?" I asked, stepping back into the bedroom.

"I like it, but it's yours to do with as you please," he quickly answered.

"Would you mind if I cut it to just below shoulder length?"

"No, why?"

"Well it's so long and I was thinking of giving twenty or so inches to Locks of Love, but I wouldn't want to do that unless you were okay with it." I had been thinking about this for a while, and it seemed like the right thing to do.

He stood up and swept me into his arms. He kissed me passionately, his eyes shining with approval. "I'm okay with whatever you want to do. I'm touched that you would give your hair to charity."

"It's just hair. Plus – I have so much – I only held on to it through the wedding so I could have the perfect hairstyle." He kissed me some more and I felt him hardening against my stomach. He broke the kiss and stepped back a hair to control the situation.

"So – dining room or bedroom for breakfast?" he asked, his voice hoarse with arousal.

"Dining room sounds fine. I'm feeling _much_ better," I hinted at my own arousal.

"How much better?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I might be up for some nocturnal activity tonight." I smiled seductively.

"Well let's see how you feel later tonight then, but promise you'll take it easy and not push yourself. We have the rest of our marriage to have sex. I don't want you in pain a minute longer than you need to be." My Jacob was so careful with me.

"I promise."

I got dressed from the suitcase – I found some stylish yoga pants, a tank top, and ballet flats. Jacob had apparently given Alice the entire itinerary. I also found a note that my other bag contained lingerie for when I was ready for it.

"How much luggage did Alice pack for me?"

He pointed at the suitcase I had in front of me. "That one is just until we get to Forks. She packed a garment bag and suitcase for each of us for after Forks. I didn't want you to be able to guess where we were going from the luggage. So Esme and Carlisle took that luggage to exchange for the two bags for this part of the honeymoon. Then the third bag Alice told me I wasn't allowed to look in under penalty of death, but that stays with us for our entire trip. I hope you'll let me see some of the items in there soon." He raised his eyebrows suggestively. "So for now we each have one suitcase, plus you have the secret suitcase."

"Did she pack clothes for the Christening?"

"Of course. She's nothing if not thorough."

We headed down to breakfast and then off to the spa where we both got hot rock massages in front of the fireplace. It was a very romantic and engaging experience.

After we returned to the room Jake brought me over to a desk where he had laid out some movies before I woke up. He lifted a towel off of them. And then said, "I need to grab some things from the car why don't you look over the movies and decide what to watch." He left the room and I was left looking through the movies. He had _Ever After_, _As Good as it Gets_, _Jerry McGuire_, _Armageddon_, _City of Angels_, _The_ _Princess Bride_, _The Saint_, _Only You_, _Like Water for Chocolate_, _Last of the Mohicans_, and _Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves_. I read the backs of each one and set two aside to talk to him about when he got back.

He walked in with a canvas bag a few minutes later and before I even had a chance to say a word he grabbed the ice bucket and darted back out of the room. He came back a minute later and started unpacking his acquisitions.

I held up the movies that didn't fit with the others. "Okay, Jake I understand the underlying theme of all the other movies, but these two don't seem appropriate for newlyweds."

"Which two?" he asked as he opened a bottle of Cherry Coke.

"_Like Water for Chocolate_ and _City of Angels,_ they just seem morbid."

He poured the soda into two glasses with ice as he answered, "_City of Angels_ is easier to explain so let's start with that one. Their love transcended the differences between them and even in death he was glad to have had the time he had with her. He wouldn't take back his sacrifice because one night was worth it for him. I feel the same way. If last night was the only time we ever got to spend together I would still be thankful for it no matter what."

"I love you." I walked over and tilted my head up for a kiss. He gave me one.

"I love you too. Now, _Like Water for Chocolate_ is a bit stranger... Ummm... I believe... this is going to be a bit weird..." I nodded for him to continue... "I believe you and I were destined to be together."

I wrinkled my brow, "What's weird about that?"

"I think that even if I had stayed with Bella longer... I eventually would have ended up with you... you're my match... my missing piece... I hate to say this, but... uh... I think I would have cheated on Bella to be with you..." his face flushed a bit, "I hate that I feel that way... but – honestly, I think once I recognized you as my soul mate nothing would have stopped me from pursuing you. It's the same in that movie. The lovers were willing to forsake family and marital ties to be together."

"But they die in the end?"

"Everyone dies." He chuckled. "I'd rather die making love to you than in a nursing home separated from you."

My abdomen tightened as he casually talked about making love to me. Knowing that wasn't going to happen, I concentrated on the conversation instead. "Okay, I understand, but it still seems a bit morbid for our second night as newlyweds."

"Okay, Babe, but the sex scenes are _fucking hot_." My stomach clenched again at his words.

"All the more reason to save it for another night," I teased.

He chuckled. "You're right." Then pulled out a large bag of popcorn and then dug out our favorite candies and set everything on the night stands, "So what movie do you want to start with?"

"Ever After – then you pick the next one."

"Okay, Babe." He put in the movie and we cuddled up on the bed for the rest of the day just snuggling and watching movies and talking.

After we had spent the day watching movies he told me we were going out to eat at a pub and we could dress how we liked. I threw on a cardigan sweater since it was a bit cold, but stayed in my very comfy clothes. He led me to the car and then we drove into town. On the drive he said, "You've made such an effort to respect my heritage, Nessie, and I wanted to show you the same courtesy so we're going to a traditional Irish pub for dinner."

"Really, Jake, you didn't have to."

"I know, but I wanted to." He pulled into a parking spot.

"Thank you." I giggled as I thought of an ancient Irish tradition that I am glad we didn't engage in.

"What's so funny?"

"Jus primae noctis," I answered simply in Latin as I unbuckled.

"I don't speak that language, stick to Quileute or English please," he teased.

"Law of the first night. I'm just glad we don't live in the middle ages in Ireland. So we could spend our first night together rather than give it to the lord of the land."

He growled and pulled me close to him. "You're mine!" he said playfully.

I loved his possessiveness. I caressed his cheek softly. "I know and you're mine." I kissed him gently on his jaw just before he got out of the car and came around to open my door.

We headed into the Irish pub. I ordered the fish and chips and Jake got the shepherd's pie. We generally enjoyed the atmosphere and we talked a little about the Celtic traditions I knew about and the symbolism I was aware of. Jake seemed extremely interested in the symbolism and I could tell he had some plan forming in his head, but I wasn't sure I wanted to know what it was.

When we got back to the hotel Jake decided we needed to wait until tomorrow to give me a bit more time to heal. He was always so concerned about my needs. I was fine with that because I knew that if I let myself heal completely then I would be more able to be intimate the next day. We both got ready for bed and said our prayers and then Jake pulled me into his arms, holding me close.

At some point during the cuddling my hand was tracing his tattoo on his right shoulder. I'd never asked him about it, but it had been there the entire time I had known Jake. It was part of him. I had no need to ask about it; it just was.

"Do you want to know about it?" he asked softly like he could read my mind.

"Only if you want to tell me."

"It's a tradition as part of my spirit quest. Every young man in my tribe goes on a spirit quest between fourteen and eighteen. The elders decide when our time has come. Mine was when I was sixteen shortly after Valentine's day." He paused and took a deep breath. "I want to tell you Ness, but if I tell you – you need to promise not to judge the elders or my people for our traditions."

"I would never judge you or our people for upholding the old ways."

"I was removed from school for a month and was not allowed any contact outside of the tribe for that period. Bella and I were dating and I couldn't even tell her about it. I just suddenly couldn't be near her for a month. I was only permitted contact with male members of my tribe during that month and I was only permitted to speak Quileute.

"The first day, I sat before the Elders naked and was questioned to be certain of my preparedness. The elders at the time were Billy, old Quil, and Harry Clearwater. Harry died a few months later. I'm not sure how it works now that Sue's an Elder. After they had decided I was sufficiently ready, Quil handed me a knife, Billy handed me a water skin, and Harry gave me a small bag of dried mushrooms and told me to leave everything where I now sat. They told me I would return there in a few hours. They then brought me to a sauna and told me the stories of our ancestors as we sweated out our impurities. A few hours later darkness had fallen. Harry told me to eat the mushrooms and take a small drink of water. I did. They then told me that all I could bring with me was the water skin and the knife and I was to survive in the wilderness for fourteen days. In fourteen days I could return to the tribe, but I had to bring evidence of a kill with me and I should remember any spiritual guide that helped me survive. I tied the water skin and the knife to my shoulder and left.

"I was immediately besieged by visions when I got outside. I was led by a red wolf to the cliffs where I dove off without hesitation – I have no idea how I survived, but at some point I realized I was on St. James Island. The wolf spoke to me and told me the things I would need to do and how to survive my isolation. February in Washington is not a good time to be naked, but there I was: cold, wet and naked. The wolf guided me and told me that I would need to hunt deer and rabbit to survive. He told me that night that I would have to suffer the cold until I could find a deer or rabbit in the morning. He slept beside me and kept me warm.

"In the morning he led me to the mainland again and then led me on a hunt. I was primal. I felt I didn't even need the knife strapped to my shoulder. I hunted like a wolf and took the deer down easily. I finally did use the knife to butcher and skin the animal – I ate as the wolf instructed me which was raw. If this is grossing you out I can stop." He looked to me. I was entirely enthralled by the tale.

"No, please continue."

"I salvaged the veins and tendons of the deer for string and I decided since I now had string I could try and make a fire and so set up a bow and shaved some bark from a nearby birch since it burns best even wet. I collected some dead wood that was mostly dry and then took my time to start a fire. I injured my hands badly in my fire starting, but I did eventually make fire. I used the fire to dry the remaining meat and warm myself. I also dried the bones by the fire per my wolf guide's instructions. He instructed me on using the bones and sinew to build a trap for rabbits, but it wouldn't work if the rabbits smelled death.

"The wolf told me that I was a natural leader and that one day I would be chief. He told me that I would experience trials, but each trial would make me stronger and more prepared to accept my ultimate destiny. He told me that I must follow my heart and my mind and never look back. He told me to allow him to guide me through my life and to trust his influence. He was a part of me and he would never let me fail.

"Over the next thirteen days he helped me find prey, mushrooms, berries, and water. He gave me knowledge of how to transform the skins of my kills into clothing and shelter. He taught me not to waste any part of what the earth provides. He taught me respect and independence. He taught me how to be a quiet yet forceful leader who commands respect.

"He became part of me on my last day of the voyage and I returned to the tribe clothed in skins and a changed man. I described my experience to the elders and they told me that a wolf was the most powerful spirit guide for our people. The thunder bird is a close second.

"They said that since my guide was a wolf I was undoubtedly destined to be a protector of the tribe and they believed I would be destined to follow in my father's footsteps as chief. Quil tattooed my right arm with the tribal symbol of the wolf.

"I spent the next two weeks purifying myself and coming to grips with the wolf inside me which is why I was only allowed contact with men. They fear that the experience so changes us that any contact with a woman during our purification period could result in harm to her. Old Quil and young Quil are the only other two I know who are wolves. They are especially careful with wolves because the change causes a certain volatility in our emotions initially. My father is a thunder bird as was his father. My great grandfathers Ephraim and Joseph were wolves as well. Embry is an orca and Seth is a thunder bird. Paul is a wolverine. I don't know any of the other men in the tribe well enough to know their spirit guide, but I could guess most of them from knowing them. For example, I'd put money on Sam Uley being a grizzly which is somewhat ironic considering Emily was attacked by a grizzly. I suspect my mother's father is a weasel, a snake, or some other dishonorable creature; no one has ever told me and he is careful to keep his tattoo covered so no one except his wife and the elders who oversaw his vision know. Those elders are long since dead."

"Wow – I never realized how intense your coming of age was. Do you still have the skins?" I was fascinated.

"They hang in the lodge. You won't be allowed in there until you're a full member of the tribe, but I could ask to take them down so I can show you. We lay each man to rest with his skins so the lodge never gets over full of skins."

"I can wait until I'm a full member. I don't want you to remove them from their place of honor."

"Okay, sweetheart, I love you." He hugged me tightly.

I broke the hug, sat up, and turned on the light.

"What are you doing, Ness?" he asked, obviously confused.

"I've never noticed a wolf in your tattoo. I just want a better look at it so I can see the wolf." I examined the intricate markings and finally I saw the wolf inside the tattoo. As I leaned over to look at his arm I felt his hand lightly rub up and down the back of my thigh and over my bottom. "I don't know how I never noticed it before. It's so obvious now." I kissed the tattoo turned the light out and snuggled into him. "Goodnight I love you, my Jacob."

"I love you too, my Nessie. Sweet dreams."

When I awoke the next morning I was still in Jacob's arms and it seemed like he hadn't moved at all. He was still naked and he obviously hadn't showered. I looked at the clock it was almost six am. I was surprised; he almost never missed his morning run unless he had some alternate exercise planned for us this morning.

A wicked smile crossed my face as I thought about how I wanted to wake my husband. I decided to take full advantage of his sleeping state. I wanted to make love to Jacob again, but I wanted to first wake him up with a surprise. I stretched to make sure I really was feeling better from our first time and decided I definitely was up to it.

I gently extricated myself from his hold and slipped a pillow between his arms so he wouldn't realize I had moved right away. I got up quickly to brush my teeth, take my medicine and use the bathroom. I quietly got back into bed and Jacob gripped the pillow a little tighter as he murmured something unintelligible.

I got under the covers and took Jacobs soft manhood into my mouth. It began hardening instantly. I licked and sucked until he was fully aroused. Suddenly, Jacob ripped the covers off of me. "So glad this isn't a dream." He smiled as I continued working him in and out of my mouth and added my hands to massage the parts I couldn't take in. "I was a bit confused as to how you could be sucking my cock and in my arms until I woke up and realized I was holding a pillow."

I worked him out and let his cock just circle my lips. "Hmmm. Tell me what you want Jake. I love hearing you talk to me while I suck you." I slipped my lips back down his shaft.

"Truthfully – I love when you suck my cock, but this morning I'd rather be inside that tight wet pussy. Are you up for that?" I nodded my head emphatically while continuing to suck his dick. He pulled me up his body as I released his dick. "Do you want to be on top, Baby?"

I was slightly perplexed, "Does it matter?"

"You have more control on top you can take me as shallow or as deep as you want and I have a spectacular view," he said with a sexy grin.

"I like it when you're in control..."

"I know, Babe, but you might like this too."

"But..." I didn't want to tell him I didn't know what to do.

"But, what sweetie? I'm your husband – you don't have to be shy." He pulled my face up so he could look in my eyes.

"But, I don't know how..."

"I know, Babe, but I'll help you."

"Okay, I'll try it." I smiled shyly at him.

"Okay, get up on your knees and straddle my hips. I'll help you." He put his hands on my hips and helped guide me into place. "Alright, now one of us needs to position my cock. Do you want me to do it or do you want to?"

"You can," I said softly, still nervous, but knowing that I could trust my Jacob to take care of me. He took a hand and guided his tip into me after he rubbed it all around to moisten himself. He then took his other hand and moved my hip slightly to take him a little deeper. He put his other hand on my hip and started guiding me slowly, softly up and down on him.

"Oh fuck, Nessie you're so tight and so wet." He started moving his hips a little against me. I let him control the experience. I surrendered to the feelings. So amazing.

I was really getting into it and Jacob's hands were preventing me from taking him as deep as I wanted. I was moaning and pressing on his chest and muscular abdomen. I moved my hands to his fingers to pry them away from my hips. "Jacob – I – want – you – deep-er," I panted out. He kept his hands firmly in place.

"Ness – you'll – go deeper – than we – did the – other night – if I let you go," he grunted in response.

"I want you – deeper – than – deep!" I moaned out. He released my hips and let me set the pace. He immediately moved his hands to my breasts and started squeezing and rubbing my breasts and nipples. I understood his concern when I slammed down onto his hard dick and could feel him every where. "Oohhh!" I screamed, shocked by the sudden pain. I stayed where I was adjusting to his size.

"Are you okay, Ness?" He moved his hands to my sides preparing to pull me off if I was hurt.

I nodded and smiled down at him. "I just needed to get used to your size, but I'm so okay." He moved his hands back to my breasts and began softly tweaking and pinching my nipples. I moaned in response and then started moving again. "I love you, my husband."

"I love you, my wife, my Nessie."

We continued moving against each other and feeling each others' chests and abdomens until we were crashing frantically into one another. Jacob moved his hands back to my hips and butt and started pulling me hard against him. I could see that even in this position he could take control and it turned me on immensely.

"Oh. God. Jacob. You make me feel so good. I just want you to explode inside me." He moved one of his hands so that his thumb reached my clit and he started making tight fast circles around it while still controlling my motion.

"I want to cum all over the inside of your sweet pussy. Cum for me, Nessie. I love you. Let me feel your release." I came for him and then he moved us even faster together I felt his fingers gripping my flesh hard and then I felt every muscle in his body quiver as he released into me and pushed me over the edge again. I collapsed on top of him. He was still inside me. He held me tightly and ran his hands all over my back and bottom. We whispered words of love to each other. I felt him slowly softening inside me and eventually he slipped out of me.

I was surprised by how enjoyable it was being on top and in control. I also loved that he could do so much more to my breasts and rear with me on top. His hands were never idle during our love making.

"So what did you have planned for us for exercise today?" I asked when I felt sufficiently recovered.

"What – that wasn't enough?" He asked raising an eyebrow at me.

"Nope, I initiated that and I know you Jacob Black. You only sleep-in when you have some sort of couple's exercise planned for us," I responded suspiciously.

"Well – if you're up for it – I thought we might hike around the falls and take in the natural beauty of this place. We can even kayak at the base of the falls if you want.

"Let's start with a hike and see where it takes us. Kayaking could be fun, but let's see how we feel. I'd rather have more sex than kayak."

"Me too," Jake answered seductively.

"Well – let's shower then and get on with the day."

"Together?" Jake asked.

"Mmmm... Hmmm..." I got off of him and started walking toward the bathroom. He was up in a flash following me. I got the hot water turned on and Jake started placing wet kisses along my shoulders and neck. "Mmm..." I moaned. "We need to get in." He opened the shower door and stepped inside. I followed and stood in front of him in the spray. He started to run his fingers through my hair. When it was wet it actually covered my butt. "Jake, I love that you want to help with my hair, but trust me – you can't handle my hair. I have to do very specific things in a very specific order or it turns into a rats nest. Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, sweetie, whatever you need." I could tell he was feeling a bit rejected. I kissed his chest.

"Let me show you this time and then after I cut it maybe you can help with it. Okay?"

"Okay."

I lathered my hair with my anti-frizz curling shampoo and then rinsed and repeated. "That's the easy part. The next step is why it takes me 30 minutes to shower most mornings. Hand me the conditioner." He passed me the anti-frizz curling conditioner and I stepped out of the spray and signaled that he could use the water while I worked the conditioner in from root to tip. I then took a paddle style brush and brushed every tangle out of my long mane. It took about 15 minutes. Jacob was done washing himself and had started washing me by the time I had finished brushing my hair.

"You have to do that every morning?"

"Yeah, and some mornings I use a hair mask afterward on just the ends to prevent and repair damage." We swapped places so I could rinse out the conditioner. When it was rinsed I tied my hair in a knot to make Jacob's job of washing my body slightly easier. I washed my face with my face wash while he washed the rest of me. He spent a lot of time on my breasts, bottom, and center. He was very aroused by the time he was done washing me.

"Can I make love to you right here, right now, Nessie?"

"Please..." I whined in response.

He lifted me and pressed my back against the side of the shower so water was pouring over us both. He pressed himself into me and I accepted him easily.

He kissed me passionately, "I love being inside you, Nessie."

I nibbled his earlobe and replied in a whisper, "I love being pressed against you while you are inside me. I feel powerless and vulnerable, but protected because I love you and I know you love me." This was just how I always wanted Jacob. I wanted him to control my body and protect me. It was amazing.

"I do love you so much, Mrs. Black, my wife, my Nessie."

"I know and I'm yours in every way. I love you too, Mr. Black, my husband, my Jacob, my wolf." I wanted to see how he would respond to the mention of his spirit guide. He thrust into me harder and started nibbling and sucking on my shoulder with a passion. He was marking me as his. I almost came at the realization. "I want you to mark me, Jacob!" I cried out and he bit me hard. I came hard against him. He kept thrusting and after several moments he came as well. He set me down, but I wobbled so he leaned against the wall and held me tightly.

He looked at the mark. "I'm so sorry, Ness. I never meant to mark you like that."

"Shh... I loved it and I asked for you to mark me. It's just another way to show I belong to you and only you."

"But, I respect you – you aren't my property – you're my wife – my partner – my equal – I shouldn't be marking you like property."

"You can still be my equal and I can accept marks of your love." I held up my wedding band and engagement ring. "These mark me as yours just as much as a love bite, but they're more permanent. Do you feel like these mark me as your property?"

"No, but I have a mark of yours too." He held out his wedding ring.

"Would it make you feel better if I marked your shoulder the way you marked mine?"

"Yes – actually."

"Okay." He bent down. I giggled. "Not now, silly. Tonight when we make love again I'll return the mark. Okay?"

"Okay."

We rinsed ourselves clean and then we got out, dried off, and got dressed for our hike. We wore jeans, t-shirts, fleeces, and hiking sneakers. He had thoughtfully made sure Alice packed my cross country sneakers instead of my gym or street sneakers. I wondered how many more times I would realize how thoughtfully he planned this trip. We had a quick breakfast of oatmeal in the dining room before we left.

We spent the day hiking; he had even packed a picnic for us. We said our prayers on the trail since we had missed our usual morning prayers. We opted out of kayaking, instead picnicking by the falls. We had a blast and I was happy Jake knew my tastes and preferences and didn't push me out of my comfort zone. I was so happy to be married to him. We had dinner in town at an Italian bistro.

That night we took a hot tub together in front of the fire. Jake intimated to me that he always had a fantasy of having sex in a hot tub. So I straddled him and we made love in the hot tub. I made sure to suck and bite at his shoulder until I was sure it would leave a mark. He was ready to cum very quickly and decided to push me over the edge faster with dirty words and clitoral stimulation. He held off until I released; then I felt him twitching inside me as he released his seed into me. We relaxed in the hot tub for a while longer until he noticed my fingers were turning to prunes and decided we needed to get out. We had a long day planned for tomorrow. We said our prayers and then got ready for bed.

~*O*~

Coming up:

Old Quil pulled me out of the room for a while when Jake was engaged with some older folks and sat me down.

"Nessie, I need you to promise me that what I am about to say will not get back to anyone not even Jacob."

"I don't keep secrets from Jacob."

"Would you keep a secret if it were in his best interest not to know?"

"I guess, but I can't know that unless I know what the secret is. Is this a double bind? I can't swear unless you tell me and you can't tell me unless I swear."

"Do you trust me, Nessie?"

"Yes, unquestioningly – because Jacob trusts you."

"Nessie, I swear to God and all I hold dear that keeping this a secret from Jacob is in his best interests. Will you swear to keep it a secret unless he blatantly asks you if I was part of this?" This was beyond odd, but I had to believe him.

"Yes. I swear."

"What has Jacob told you about his and Billy's falling out?"

**Visual Stimulation:**

**Hotel Website: www(dot)salishlodge(dot)com**

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	19. Awkward Conversations and Awesome Sex

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17for lemons. The content will touch on/explore BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes RARE Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship.**

Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s, BDSM, or DD lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual.

**Special thanks to my awesome beta Sawny94. This story is better because of your help. If you enjoy my story please check Sawny94 out she was one of my inspirations. You're awesome. This chapter was vastly improved by Sawny94 she deserves all our thanks.**

**Extreme thanks to DazzledbyJake. She has only read one chapter of the story, thus far, but she has become one of my great twitter friends and with one request she took my concept and made me the most amazing crazy sexy banner – check out my profile for a link to the banner. She also helped me pick the lyrics for this chapter. My twitter: (at)kmddeprez1122.**

Lemony goodness in this chapter. I hope you're thirsty.

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS! **

Personal news – my updates may slow a bit. I just found out I have been blessed by God. I am 11-12 weeks pregnant, I was told I couldn't get pregnant without a surgical intervention so we had no idea that my stomach ailments were in fact a tiny life force making itself known.

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while. Song lyrics are the property of their respective authors.**

_So much left unspoken between the two of us_

_It's so much more exciting to look when you can touch_

_You could say I am different and maybe I'm afraid_

_But I know how to twist ya to bring you to your knees_

_I get off on you getting off on me_

_I give you what you want but nothing is for free_

_It's a give and take kinda life we make_

_When your line is crossed I get off, I get off_

_I Get Off,_ Halestorm

Awkward Conversations and Awesome Sex

Saturday, September 13, 2014

NPOV

We woke up early, did our morning rituals and dressed in extremely casual clothes. We checked out by seven and ate on the road. We had decided to get on the road early so we could spend some time with Uncle Carl and Aunt Esme before the Christening. The drive to Forks took four hours even with the ferry and longer when we drove around the southern route. This morning we took the ferry. Looking over at Jacob while he drove I began to notice he looked a bit nervous. Finally unable to stand the suspense, I asked him what was wrong.

"Sweetheart, I love you more than anything and I have to ask you to do something for me." His eyes cut to mine, dark and earnest.

"Okay?" I wondered what Jake was so worried about asking me to do.

His hands tightened on the steering wheel and he took a deep breath. "Well, I don't want you to speak to Billy. Can you promise me that you won't speak to him at the Christening?" I knew he was still very sensitive about whatever happened between him and his father.

I thought about what he was asking of me. I really wanted to know what had happened with Billy, but I also didn't want to upset Jacob. I decided to ease his concern for the time being and simply said, "I promise."

His body visibly relaxed and a smile broke across his face. "Okay. Thank you, Nessie. I love you." He took my hand in his and kissed it.

"You're welcome. While we're discussing awkward topics, do you want to have the trust chat with Uncle Carl today? Or do you want to have it after the honeymoon?"

"Today's fine, we should have four hours before we have to meet up with my sisters and their husbands. That'll be enough time right?"

"That should be plenty of time."

We got to Uncle Carl and Aunt Esme's a bit after eleven am. Esme greeted us and was cooking a french feast for us. When Uncle Carl greeted us I asked if he could take some time to explain the trust to Jacob. The three of us headed to his office. The first thing I did was write out a check for $3600 to MADD that he would need to co-sign and handed that to him to take care of. Jake took my hand as Uncle Carl began explaining the trust to him.

"So Jake, May has asked me to explain exactly how the trust works. May and now you can draw off any amount of interest the trust makes in a given year. May has chosen not to draw out the full interest on a yearly basis. Last year she had about half a percent of the value auto deposited in her bank account for her to use as she saw fit – that is about thirty thousand dollars. Last year the interest which accrued on the account was about nine percent or five-hundred and forty thousand dollars."

Jake whistled in shock at the amount of interest.

"May opted to donate an amount equal to what she drew out to SADD. So she had a minimal tax burden since she returned most of the value to the trust to further accumulate."

"With that kind of money why would you donate money instead of paying taxes? Wouldn't it be cheaper to pay the taxes straight up? I don't have any problem with donating to charity, but you seem to be making a big deal out of a minimal tax burden," Jacob said, with his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Oh, Jake, don't get me wrong," Uncle Carl rushed to reassure him, "we pay our taxes fair and square and this isn't a tax evasion scheme. I like to control where my money goes. I would rather know that my money is going to St. Jude's Cancer Research Center than to pork barrel a pet project of a Senator and I've taught my children and Renee's children to do the same. So I pay more money out of pocket, but I control where most of that money goes. If you and May would prefer to just pay the taxes straight up and not donate to charities then I'll take care of that."

Jake relaxed his hand a bit. "No, that's fine. I just didn't get it; now I do."

"Okay back to the interest the trust accumulates. This year the market looks a bit shakier so I would expect about five percent returns on the principle or around three hundred thousand dollars. May drew out about sixty thousand through credit card purchases and checks which I approved for various incidentals for the wedding. So I would recommend a larger charitable donation this year. She expressed that she didn't want to set her yearly draw until the three of us spoke. She's adamant that she not draw out more than you make in a year since she doesn't want you to feel that you can't provide for her with your own resources."

I was thankful that Uncle Carl was explaining my reasoning so I wouldn't have to.

He continued, "Today the principal stands at just above six million. So theoretically following the interest rules you two could draw out about three hundred thousand, but we'd want to consider the tax implications if you did that and didn't make a substantial charitable donation.

"I have to approve the yearly draw, but once I do, it's set to be auto-deposited in her bank account and then anything beyond that I have to approve each time – for example, the MADD donation I just co-signed or her credit card charges. She rarely uses her card, and when she does she generally pays the balance from her personal account, so I've never had to sign for that until this month.

"Jacob, I have some documents for you to sign as a designee on the trust and I also will be getting you a black card which is attached to the trust. I'm in process of doing the legal name change for May, but I want to wait until the honeymoon is over since I don't want to accidentally freeze your access if an emergency comes up since all her documents are in her maiden name.

"Jacob, do you have any questions?"

"No, Doc, I think you've explained it all fairly well. I need a minute to talk to Nessie privately so we can decide on the yearly draw." Uncle Carl left the office to give us a few minutes alone.

Jake turned to face me and took my other hand. "Nessie, how much money do you need to live comfortably? Aside from my income, which is about sixty grand a year."

I blushed and looked down, not sure if I should tell him about my shoe and clothing tastes.

"Nessie, you need to tell me the truth. Once we set this draw – it's all we're going to take unless there's an emergency."

"It's not that simple, Jake. I'm not sure how much I need. What am I contributing to the household? Let's start there." I got up and grabbed a notepad from Uncle Carl's desk.

"I didn't intend for you to contribute at all to the household," he stated factually.

_Damn him and his stupid male pride I needed to come at this from another angle. _"Hmmm... Let's try a different approach. What's the monthly mortgage?"

"Twenty-one hundred dollars."

I gasped, "Seriously? That seems really high."

"That's why I had two roommates, Ness," Jake replied dryly.

"Can we float that without roommates on just your income? That's almost half your yearly income, Jake."

"I don't know. I guess that's why we're talking now," he said with a shrug.

"Okay. What are the yearly condo fees?" Pencil in hand, I got ready to crunch the numbers.

"Twenty-four hundred."

Two hundred a month seemed reasonable to never have to mow the lawn or shovel snow. I jotted it down and moved on, "Yearly taxes?"

"About twenty-two-hundred."

"Monthly utilities?"

"Around two hundred."

"Monthly cell phone bill?"

"About eighty."

"Other debts?"

He paused for a second while he tallied it in his head. "About three-hundred a month."

"Health care?"

"That's paid for by the business before Rose and I draw out." He smiled knowing it was one expense I didn't need to tabulate.

"Food?"

He shrugged. "Probably around five or six hundred a month."

"Clothes?"

"Maybe a thousand a year. Definitely not more than that, maybe much less." I tallied it up it came to just over forty-five thousand dollars in expenses.

"That leaves about fifteen thousand dollars for discretionary spending, tithing, saving, and transportation, which I bet you spent a good chunk of on our honeymoon," I said before I realized he could misinterpret that as disapproval. "Not that I have a problem with that." I took a deep breath and set aside the notepad, before taking his hands. "Now, I have to tell you about my expensive tastes. I'll do my best to curtail my spending, but it's hard when you know you have this huge trust fund that you're barely tapping."

"Okay, Nessie," he answered patiently.

I cringed a little as I admitted how much my outfits generally cost, "You know how you said you spend about one thousand dollars for your clothes for the whole year?"

He nodded.

"Well the dress I wore on valentines day cost fifteen hundred, the shoes cost eighteen hundred, and the coat I had on cost six hundred and that's just one outfit and it cost about four thousand dollars."

His jaw dropped. He was obviously very shocked.

"Do you want me to go on?"

He nodded, slowly.

"Every coat I own costs between five hundred and twenty-five hundred dollars, my jeans are all over two hundred, most of my shoes cost between nine and twenty-five hundred dollars. My bags and accessories are also pretty expensive. Are you getting the picture, though?"

He nodded. I knew he was stunned which is why he hadn't said anything yet.

I continued rambling, trying to explain myself, "I only took thirty thousand last year because I'm working really hard to stay within a clothing budget and I don't think I should spend more than that in a year on my clothing and recreation. However, I do think I should help pay down our mortgage and our debts so that you can concentrate on saving more for expansion or we could use some of the trust to invest in expanding the business when you're ready."

"So – you believe thirty's enough for clothing and recreation?" he asked seriously.

"Yes, Jacob," I replied, a little ashamed of my spending.

"Ness, it's nothing to be ashamed of," he spoke softly as he gave my hands a reassuring squeeze. "I need to know. Yes, it's a lot of money for clothes, but it _is_ _your_ money. You're not overextending yourself or putting yourself in debt buying shoes. It's okay. How much do you want to contribute to the household in addition to the thirty you need for yourself?"

"I was thinking another thirty if you don't think that would be too much. Then we could tithe twelve thousand and use eighteen to supplement your earnings and pay down our debts."

"That's fine, sweetheart. Do you want a separate account for your discretionary spending?"

"That might be good so I don't accidentally overspend on clothes or shoes or lunch with the girls." I breathed a sigh of relief, this was going better then I thought it would.

"Lunch with the girls?" He raised an eyebrow. I'd never told him about the weekly lunches with the girls.

"We go out once a week and alternate who picks up the tab."

"Oh, okay. And the black cards are just for emergencies, right?"

"Right, but we need to move my cell phone onto your plan. So – that cost will go up."

He chuckled. "I think we can deal with that." Then he gave me a sweet kiss before going to get Uncle Carl.

"So, we've decided to draw out sixty grand this year," Jake began, "twelve will go to our church, eighteen will go to this account," Jake tore a check from his personal checkbook, "which I'll add Nessie's name to after the honeymoon, and thirty will go into Nessie's account that you've been depositing in for the last year."

"Do you want the church paid in a lump sum or in small amounts through the year?" Uncle Carl asked.

"Whichever fine, maybe I should ask the parish stewardship director how they would prefer to be paid," Jake answered.

"Let me know once you figure that out."

"I will, Carlisle, and thank you for doing all this."

"You're welcome. Now, I believe Esme has lunch ready for us."

We headed downstairs and Esme had made Onion Soup and Quiche Lorraine with a crusty french bread. We ate and changed into our clothes for the christening since we were the god parents. Then we exchanged our suitcases for the suitcases and garment bags Alice had left for us and left my Wedding dress and Jake's suit with Esme to take care of.

~*O*~

I wore a white and purple sundress and carefully covered my hickey with foundation. While Jacob wore gray slacks, a white short sleeve dress shirt, a purple tie and his leather blazer to the Christening. We arrived at the church in Forks for the early afternoon Mass. Rachel was dressed in a nice aqua top, a black skirt, and black sandals. Paul had on black slacks, a white shirt and a blue tie. I noticed Billy in the front row beside Rebecca and Jon, but he made no effort to speak to either Jacob or I. William was in a cute little white outfit.

Jacob and I held William for the Christening and promise to take care of his upbringing in the Catholic church. After the baby was baptized we all went to the La Push Community Center for a potlatch. I had never been to a potlatch before. Rebecca and Billy were hosting, so, they were giving gifts to everyone. The potlatch was held in honor of the Christening and our wedding and Rebecca was the sponsor for our wedding, while Billy was the sponsor for the Christening. I overheard some gossip that this was a bit backward and we should have been the sponsors for the baby and Billy should have been the sponsor for our wedding I would have to remember to ask Jake about it later. I spent most of my time with old Quil and Aunt Ray. I was really enjoying their company and I found that I was comfortable talking to Aunt Ray about anything and I could trust her to keep my confidence.

Old Quil pulled me out of the room for a while when Jake was engaged with some older folks and sat me down.

"Nessie, I need you to promise me that what I am about to say will not get back to anyone not even Jacob," he said seriously.

"I don't keep secrets from Jacob," I answered emphatically. It just felt wrong to keep secrets from my husband.

"Would you keep a secret if it were in his best interest not to know?" His soft, kind, dark eyes were searching mine.

"I guess, but I can't know that unless I know what the secret is. Is this a double bind? I can't swear unless you tell me and you can't tell me unless I swear."

"Do you trust me, Nessie?" he asked me and it seemed he was sad about the conversation, but determined to continue it.

This was a tough question. Jacob had made it clear how much he trusted old Quil and I knew that my best chance for being invited to the tribe was the relationship I had developed with him. I did trust him, but he was asking me to do something that went against everything I believed in. Finally, I thought of Jacob's feelings for this man and answered honestly,"Yes, unquestioningly – because Jacob trusts you."

"Nessie, I swear to God and all I hold dear that keeping this a secret from Jacob is in his best interests. Will you swear to keep it a secret unless he blatantly asks you if I was part of this?" This was beyond odd, but I had to believe him, I knew he would never take an unbreakable vow insincerely.

"Yes. I swear."

"What has Jacob told you about his and Billy's falling out?" he asked softly.

"Very little," I answered honestly, hoping that he would be able to tell me what Jake was so desperate to hide.

"Has he told you he doesn't want you to talk to Billy?"

"Yes."

"Has he made you promise not to?"

"He made me promise not to speak to him today and he told me he generally doesn't want me to."

"Jacob and Billy are both very determined stubborn men. I need your help to heal their rift. I had to wait until after you were married to discuss this with you."

"What can I do? I promised not to speak to Billy." I said, feeling slightly defeated about the whole situation.

"You promised not to speak to him today." Quil had a mischievous smile on his lips, like he had a grand plan that I was about to be let in on.

"What are you asking?" I asked warily?

"I'm asking that you reach out to Billy in any way that you can without breaking any promises you make to Jacob. Maybe you call the old man on the holidays and let him know how you and his son are, maybe you could send holiday cards, or maybe you could write him letters. The only thing is Jake can't know about it."

I was frustrated that he was asking me this. _Didn't he understand that I had duties to my husband and this would be a total violation of Jacob's trust?_ "I don't know Mr. Ateara, I understand what you are trying to do, but Jacob is my husband my duty is to him to be a good wife. I need to follow his lead."

"Child, do you know the story of Ruth?" he asked, fully aware that of course I knew the story, but I recognized this as his attempt to teach me something.

"Yes, I do, she is the epitome of the good daughter-in-law."

"Are you aware that Jacob loves and respects his father even after their dispute?"

"It doesn't surprise me," I said a bit harsher than I meant to.

"Are you aware of the reason Jacob no longer speaks to his father?" he asked softly, almost sympathetically.

"No, are you, sir?" I asked curiously.

"Not the specifics, only that you have something to do with it."

I gasped, tears stung my eyes, threatening to spill as pain washed over me. _What could I have to do with this? Why wouldn't Jacob tell me? Did his father disapprove of me? What had I ever done wrong with Billy that he would dislike me? Why was Bella good enough for Jake, but not me? Oh my God! What had Jacob given up for me? Had he really given up his father for me? Jacob loves me that much, __enough to give up his only living parent for me._

"Would you have married him if you had known that?" he asked softly. His voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"I don't know. I would have tried my best to get him to reconcile." I began to cry.

"He knew this, which is why he never told you; he feared you wouldn't marry him. You would sacrifice your own happiness to give him and his father a chance at reconciliation. He was resolute. You are more important to him than his father."

_Jacob made that sacrifice for me?_

"Are you willing to make a sacrifice of yourself for his benefit?"

"Yes, without hesitation." In my soul I knew that I would give up everything and anything for Jacob.

"Even if that means keeping what I am asking you to do a secret?"

My heart pounded frantically as I answered, "Yes."

"Then so long as you do not violate a direct promise to your husband, please reach out to his father – you're their only chance at being a family again. Take some time to think about it, but if you decide you are willing, then speak to me and I will give you all of Billy's contact information."

"But, won't I be violating Jacob's trust?" I asked still hesitant about all this.

"Sometimes we have to hurt the people we love to do what is best for them. If you spank a child because he gets too close to the fire you've hurt him, but you've also prevented him from going that close again. You must decide if you can violate his trust because of your love for him or if keeping his trust is more important than his long term well being. Go wash your face now or Jacob will wonder why you've been crying. You don't have to make this decision any time soon – I just thought you should know."

"Thank you, Mr. Ateara. I'll consider your wisdom and make a decision."

"Nessie, please call me Uncle Quil or Grandfather – I've always considered Jake my grandson and it is strange enough that he insists on calling me 'sir'." I had no idea how much his acceptance meant, but with his words, and the sweet loving concern shining from his eyes, a lump formed in my throat.

"Okay, Grandfather. I'll see you in a while." I hugged him then went straight to the bathroom to wash my face.

I returned to the party when I was sufficiently composed and found Jacob laughing with some family friends.

I cuddled into his side as he wrapped an arm around me. "Hey, Ness. You disappeared for a while. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine." Wanting to distract him, I changed the subject, "Were we supposed to be hosting this for baby William?"

"Traditionally yes, but there were some complications and Billy and Becks each wanted to host part of it. So, Rachel picked the hosts, so everyone gets some honor. We didn't have time to do a lot of cooking or make gifts and if you notice everyone got a small figurine. Those were made by Billy and Becks took care of the feast herself. I tossed Rachel some money to help buy food, but otherwise it's their show."

"Oh, okay." With my new knowledge from Quil I now understood the complications. I hid that I was upset about any of this, and Jake was right we didn't have time to cook or make things for people.

"By the way – I never did ask you at the wedding – who made the refrigerator cupcakes?"

"Rachel." I giggled, my Jacob always did think with his stomach.

"How did you sneak those past me – you know I never miss an opportunity to have those cupcakes."

"I know which is why Rachel brought them to Alice immediately when she got to Seattle and Alice got them to the Space Needle. We knew if they were in your house they would never get to the reception."

"Our," he teased with a smile while rubbing my back gently.

"What?" I was confused.

"You said 'your' house it's ours now." His smile made my heart burst with love and my center throb with longing, it had been over twelve hours since he had last made love to me.

I smiled and stretched up for a kiss. "It'll take some time to get used to. Probably it'll all settle in once I actually live there." I stood with Jake while we chatted with a few other people.

Then I saw young Quil chatting with some of his friends in a corner. I wanted to know how his date with Claire went. "I'm going to go find out how Quil's date with Claire went."

"Don't bother – I already asked him. The answer was spectacular. Then he got a dreamy look in his eyes as he told me how great she is," Jake answered with a chuckle, obviously amused that Quil was infatuated.

"Well that's wonderful – I'll have to ask her about it the next time I see her."

"You don't have to look too far she's the one wearing the pink dress." He pointed to the group Quil was standing in.

"He brought her to the potlatch?" I was shocked. The potlatch is a serious event you don't bring a casual date to.

"Yeah, he wanted her to meet the family. Somewhat ironic." Jake chuckled.

"What's ironic?"

"He's the one who gave me the hardest time about our age difference and she's younger than you and he's slightly older than me." I giggled; it was a bit ironic.

"Well – I'm going to go get her sentiments on the date." I smiled and headed over to Claire.

"Claire, I didn't expect to see you here."

"Honestly, I didn't expect to be here, but then last night Quil asked me if I wanted to meet his family and attend a potlatch. When he told me we were coming here I told him that we'd have to visit my mom and grandparents in Neah Bay. He didn't realize I was Makah until that moment."

"How did you end up in Bellevue if your mom is in Neah Bay?"

"Daddy's the CFO for Jones Soda. Mom couldn't leave the Rez since she takes care of all of my grandparents, so they have a long distance marriage and we visit often. We decided when I was about to enter high school I would be better off at Forest Ridge and I moved to Daddy's house. Before I went to school Daddy tried to telecommute several days a week so he could be with Mom more often, but when I went to school he moved to the main office five days a week and we went home for the weekends and mom would come visit on Tuesday evening through Thursday morning."

"Oh." I sat down beside her. Not wanting to beat about the bush, I got right to the point, "So – how was your date with Quil after the wedding?"

We went into gossip mode for a while and chatted happily about her date and my time at Salish Lodge. I told her how kind and considerate Jacob was of my needs. How amazing it was to give him a wedding gift of my virginity. She told me how she felt about Quil and it seemed she thought he might be the one for her even though they had only known each other a short time. She had met his mom and grandparents and loved them already. She was a bit nervous about the next day since he would be meeting her parents and grandparents for the first time. She told me that Emily Uley was her mother's step sister which surprised me. Apparently Claire's biological grandmother and Emily's biological father died early in life and their spouses found each other in a grieving support group.

Eventually Jacob and Quil came and pried the two of us apart so we could each meet other people and not monopolize each others' time. Jake told me that we had to be heading out soon since we had another long drive. We went around and gave hugs and goodbyes and then we headed out. He pulled out a small portfolio from our luggage and asked me to hold it. Then we headed toward Port Angeles.

On the way there I opened the portfolio. Jake put his hand on top of mine to stop me from seeing anything. "No you don't, Nessie," he said teasingly, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.

"But, Jake," I whined, "you gave it to me, don't I get to see?"

"You're so cute when you pout, but no, Nessie, you'll ruin the surprise there are tickets in there for our whole honeymoon and I'd rather wait 'til I can see your face for you to know the plans. I can't concentrate on the road and your face," he explained. "Okay, my love?"

"Okay, I won't look until you tell me I can."

~*O*~

It was after dark by the time we pulled up to the ferry terminal in Port Angeles and told me we were headed to Canada. He took the portfolio from me and got our passports out we would need them to board the ferry. We prayed on the Ferry to Victoria and then drove about an hour to another ferry which took us to Vancouver. Once in Vancouver he drove us to the Fairmont Pacific Rim. We checked in and had a room with a beautiful view of the harbor. We made love twice and then fell asleep in each others arms.

He got me up really early in the morning. I was confused since we had been to the vigil mass the night before for the Christening and didn't need to attend a mass this morning.

He kissed me gently, "Morning, Ness. You need to get up. We need to get on with our day quickly. I already grabbed you some clothes for today."

"You aren't going to tell me where we are going or what the rush is?" He had the excited kid on pixie sticks attitude again.

"Sure, I'll tell you. Our first stop is a hike at the lighthouses and then I thought we would do the botanical gardens, but we have somewhere to be by five pm, and that's a secret."

"Well five pm is twelve and a half hours away can't we make love first and then eat." He had on an impish grin.

"Well I thought maybe..." His face flushed.

"Are you blushing, Jake?" I asked playfully. "What could you possibly have to be embarrassed about?"

"You probably wouldn't go for it any way... never mind, Ness..."

He was being mean, starting a statement like that and then stopping, "No. Tell me, Jake."

"Well it's still dark for another couple hours and if we get out to the lighthouse trail early enough we can be the only people there. We could... ummm..." His face flushed again.

Getting more curious I asked, "We could what?"

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable Ness... but I thought you might like to do that..." _Was Jacob suggesting we have sex outside on a public trail?_

"Are you suggesting we make love outside?" I felt my face flush now. I wasn't comfortable having sex in public, but I would do anything for Jacob and he obviously really wanted this.

He rushed to reassure me, "We don't have to, but if you want to we need to leave now so we can hike in before the park opens at seven-thirty." He paused and looked into my eyes. "I just thought it might be fun on the beach as the sun rose."

"Okay." I smiled agreeing for him. I was excited by the idea of doing something just for Jake. I knew he was an exhibitionist and the idea of submitting to one of his fantasies aroused me.

"Okay?" I nodded. "Really?" He kissed me passionately as I nodded again. "You amaze me, Ness."

"I just need to brush my teeth and take my pill and then we can go."

"You don't need a shower or anything?" he asked surprised, since I always showered before going into public.

"Nope – I'm just going to need another when we're done." I got ready and threw on the clothes Jake had grabbed for me.

We made our way to the light house trail and he took out flashlights and led me through the old growth forests as we made our way to the beach. It was about five-fifteen by the time we got to the beach. He pulled a blanket out of his backpack and found a place sheltered by rocks. We stripped out of our clothes and made love on the blanket until the sun rose. I was surprised to find that I actually enjoyed the public sex and I realized Jake had introduced it in a low risk way. Jake started packing everything up, but I had another idea.

"Remember, how I always used to say I was child of the sea?" I asked shyly.

"Yeah."

"Want to?"

"Want to what?" he asked with a questioning look in his eyes.

I decided it was easier to just show him. I got up naked and ran into the cold Pacific waters. I dove in and swam out a bit until I was treading water.

"Want to join me?" I yelled back. He got off the blanket and followed me. He made his way in a bit slower.

"You can get to me faster than that," I teased.

"Well, certain parts of my anatomy are protesting the cold."

"Just remember your wolf leading you off the cliffs – the water had to be a lot colder in February in the open ocean than in this inlet in September." He dove in and swam to me at full speed. He wrapped his arms around me. He was standing, but the water reached his shoulders

"It was a lot colder then, but I was on a vision quest." He cupped my bottom in his large hands, bringing my naked body close to his. His hands were so warm against me and I just melted into his touch.

"Well, I have a solution to the cold," I said coyly as I reached down and took his dick in my hands.

"Hmmm... would you like to describe your solution or demonstrate it?" His eyes were hungry with need.

"Whichever you prefer, my Jacob."

"I love being yours."

"I love being yours too."

"Well, how 'bout you demonstrate while describing your solution and use dirty words, Baby," he suggested.

"Of course, my Jacob." I stroked his dick in my hands. "First I'll get your cock nice and hard by stroking you with both my hands." He kissed me firmly while I kept stroking him until he was hard as a rock. I broke the kiss so I could speak again. "Then I'll wrap my arms around your neck and my legs around your back." I did as I said I would. "Then I'll slide my pussy onto your big hard cock while my tits press against your rock hard chest." I followed my own instructions, gasping with pleasure as his velvety length slid into my center. His grip on my bottom tightened, his palms kneaded my flesh and his fingers skimmed my inner thighs. "Then I'll let you control my movements with your strong large hands on my ass." He kissed me firmly while moving me up and down on his manhood.

"Oh Fuck, Nessie! I love it when you talk dirty to me."

"I only do it for you," I said softly.

"I know and I love you all the more for it." He kissed me again. "Do you like it when I _fuck_ you?"

"I don't think you have yet." I moaned as he thrust harder. "Every time we've done this I've felt so much love – I don't think I could call it that." He kissed me firmly as I moaned into his mouth. "We have made love every time." I shuddered from the feeling of him in me. "Oh – God – Jac-ob!" I caught my breath. "I'm sure – at some point – oohhh – we'll do that, but – ahhh – for now, I'm just – Jaake – loving hav-ing you – ooooh – inside me mak-ing – ahhhh – love to me."

"I suppose you're right I haven't _fucked_ you yet and we'll both know it when I do," he spoke slowly and deliberately as he accentuated each word with a hard thrust.

He was quickly bringing me to climax. I couldn't concentrate on anything except the feelings he was imparting on me.

"Oh, Jac-ob!" I cried out as I came around his throbbing member.

"Fuck, Ness!" He roared in response as I felt him release into me. He held me as the water lapped around us. I shivered in his arms. "Let's go dry off, Ness." He lifted me further up his body and held me as he brought us out of the water and back to our blanket

He used one corner of the blanket to dry himself and let me use the majority of it on myself and my hair. I tied my hair in multiple knots to keep it all on the top of my head and got dressed. He packed the blanket back in his backpack and then we quickly hiked out of the park before the staff opened it at seven-thirty.

We headed back to the hotel, prayed, showered and got ready for the day. I decided today would be a good day for my haircut if I saw a chance so I braided my hair. We checked out of the hotel and left all our luggage in the car. Jake seemed to be making some complicated arrangements with the hotel staff that involved a lot of writing, but I knew he was trying to keep whatever he had planned a secret so I tuned out his conversation. We ate pastries in a small cafe and went for an early morning walk in the botanical gardens. Around noon Jake brought me to China Town and we had authentic cuisine. Our receipt was even written in Chinese.

We toured the sights of Vancouver and around two o'clock I asked if I had time for a hair cut. He nodded and we stopped into a small salon. I told them what I wanted done. The man added a hair tie just below where I wanted him to cut and then cut through my thick braid. He handed me the hair which I gave to Jake to hold onto. Jake was fascinated by it and we had to tell him not to play with the top band since it would make it harder for the charity to handle it. The man then shampooed, cut and styled my hair into a long layered look. Jake was happy with my new look, and so was I. The stylist gave me a plastic bag and a padded envelope with appropriate postage and an address label for Locks of Love. We dropped the package in a mail box and headed back to the hotel. We grabbed our luggage, but left the car there and got in a taxi and Jake handed the driver a card rather than saying the destination out loud. He was working really hard to keep our destination a secret.

We arrived at the harbor and parked in front of some cruise liners.

"Jake, are we going on a cruise?"

"Yes we are, my dear." He smiled widely.

I kissed him deeply. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." I had always wanted to go on a cruise.

"Your welcome, Babe. I need to pay the driver now and we need to get to our room." I relaxed and sat back. He paid the driver and then the driver opened the trunk while Jacob came around and opened my door. Jacob grabbed most of our bags and I grabbed what he couldn't. We had five bags plus his small backpack and my traveling purse. He had hooked the garment bags onto the bigger suitcases so he could take all four of the bags we picked up in Forks. I grabbed my medium suitcase filled with lingerie and his backpack that had our dirty and wet clothes in it.

He led me to a Carnival Cruise ship called Spirit. We checked in and presented our passports with the attendant. An attendant took my bags and another tried to take Jake's but he just shrugged them off. The attendant led us to our stateroom and dropped my bags in the closet. Jake set the other bags beside them and then tipped the man.

"So, my dear husband, where are we headed?" I asked as I hugged him after the bellman left.

"Well, my dear wife, name some places that you think we could be headed."

"Alaska?" I guessed.

"Nope."

"Well, where else would we go from Vancouver?"

"I'll give you a clue. It's in the United States," he hinted.

"I'm still stuck on Alaska. It's the only place I could imagine going from here." He grinned.

"Try warmer and further south."

"Can you get to Hawaii from here?" I asked doubtfully.

"Yep." His grin widened.

"SERIOUSLY!"

He simply nodded.

I jumped into his arms and kissed him fiercely.

I was totally wrapped up in Jake. He pressed me against a wall. "You look so unbelievably hot today. I need you, Baby. I need to fuck you. Do you want me to _fuck_ you now, Nessie?" He demanded huskily in my ear.

I was so turned on by his rough command that I couldn't speak. I whimpered in response and nodded.

He shook his head, "Tell me. Say, 'I want you to _fuck_ me.' I promise, Babe, say it and I'll fuck you so hard."

"Please. Jacob," I begged. "I want you to fuck me!" I had never been so aroused in my life, my pussy was wet, leaking down my thighs

"Mmmm... there's my naughty girl. Take your clothes off," he commanded. He set me on my feet and I quickly stripped. He stripped at the same time and when he was done he pulled me close to him so my back was against his chest. He placed his hands on my breasts and pressed hard. "I'm going to take you like this," he stated factually. "Do you want to be pressed against the bed or the wall?" I thought about which I preferred; I was still dazed that he was going to take me from behind. He moved a hand to my clit and stared rubbing it while he pinched my nipple with his other.

His voice was rough with desire as he spoke in my ear, "Baby you're so wet. Does this turn you on? Knowing that I am going to fuck that pretty pussy? That I'm going to make you cum so hard, make you scream?" He laid hard wet kisses along my shoulder and neck. I was overwhelmed by the sensations. I couldn't think, much less answer a question.

"Nessie!" He said sharply, then added roughly, "You have ten seconds and then I'm taking you against the wall if you haven't told me you want the bed." I wanted it to be Jacob's choice. "Five, Nessie." I counted the seconds down and I said nothing. I was just aching to have him fill me. "One, Nessie! I hope you're ready for me." I nodded I was positive I was.

I felt Jacob's hands move to my waist and he lifted me and pressed me against the wall. He plunged his large hot cock deep into my dripping wet center. "Fuck Nessie, you are ready for me!" When his hips were pressed firmly against my backside and thighs he moved one hand back to my breasts and the other to my clit. He pressed me firmly against the wall and started pounding into me. I whimpered in ecstasy. I had absolutely no control in this position. I could only accept what he gave me and it turned me on even more. I felt vulnerable and incredible aroused.

"I fucking love you Nessie. I love you soft." He slowed a bit.

My body ached for the speed and power he'd given me moments earlier.

"I love you hard." He sped back up and tweaked my nipples.

I thanked God that he was speeding up again. I needed Jake so badly.

He spoke slowly and thrust into me with every two or three words. "I love that I'm the only man who has ever or will ever touch you, make love to you, or fuck you. You're mine and I'm yours. I'm the only man who will ever see you naked. I'm the only man will ever feel your breasts or touch your clit." His hands continued to caress me, fondling the flesh that would forever belong to him. "I'm the only man who will ever taste your pussy. I'm the only man who will ever feel your pussy. I'm the only man whose seed you will ever accept."

He was so right I was his in every way. I moaned in ecstasy, still unable to string words together while I felt like this.

"I'm the only man who will ever mark you."

I shuddered as his tongue licked the mark he left a couple days earlier.

Then his voice was rough and demanding in my ear again, "You're the only woman who will ever mark me. You're the only woman who will ever be allowed to touch or feel or have my cock."

I whimpered in joy at his declaration.

He pounded into me harder and faster as he spoke, "You can have me any fucking time you want me. You tell me what you want and I will do anything to give it to you. If you fucking want a baby tomorrow you can stop taking your fucking pills and I'll give you a baby. If you want to move across the world you tell me and I'll sell the fucking shop and move with you. I'm here to make your every wish come true."

I was shocked he could talk while he loved me this hard. I could barely breathe from the exertion, much less make intelligible conversation.

"Do you like me _fucking_ you Nessie?"

I whimpered in response.

"Answer me, Nessie!" He punctuated the command with hard thrusts.

"YES, JACOB, YES!" I cried.

"Say the word _fuck_! Ness, you know how it turns me on when you curse."

"YES! I LOVE IT WHEN YOU _FUCK_ ME! JACOB!" I screamed in response.

"Do you wanna cum, Baby?"

"Yes..." I moaned.

He started moving faster and then his fingers on my clit started moving at a fevered pace. His arm across my chest pulled me harder against him. He rolled his fingers around one of my nipples hard and then said, "Cum for me when you're ready, Baby. I want you to let go. I love you!" Then he moved his mouth to my shoulder and he started sucking and biting while keeping his rapid pace with his hips and hands.

I came undone in an explosive orgasm. I screamed, "FUCK! OH JACOB! I LOVE YOU!"

My words pushed him over the edge. I was still trembling in his arms when I felt him quiver inside me. "Fuck, Ness! You feel so fucking good! So fucking tight, so hot and wet!"

He moved his lower hand so he was holding me by the waist with that arm and the chest with his other. He pressed his forehead against the wall as he caught his breath. He held me there against the wall in the entryway of our room until he softened inside me. He picked me up as he slipped out of me and turned me in his arms so my face was in his chest.

"I know that was intense. Are you okay to walk, Ness?"

I stood against him holding him. "It was intense, but I'm fine." I felt amazing – like I could run a marathon. "I actually feel energized."

"Well – that's the adrenaline. We could unpack, if you want."

"In a little while. I want to see what Ali packed, but first I want you to hold me for a while."

"Okay, Baby." He picked me up and brought us to the bed so we could lay down. He chuckled as he held me and said, "I'm almost afraid to look at what the pregnant pixie chose, but you told me never to let Bella pack for you again."

"I'm sure it will be fine we'll start with the garment bags then we can unpack the suitcases, that way we know what we need to press."

He nodded and then started kissing me softly while he held me in the bed. I felt so complete, so happy and safe, being in Jacob's arms after he had possessed me so completely. He fulfilled me in so many ways. Even with the energy rush I suddenly couldn't stay awake anymore.

Sometime later I woke up and Jake was just looking at me, smiling happily. We got up. I threw Jacob's shirt and my underwear on so I could keep things somewhat clean. Jake washed his hands and then threw on his boxers and jeans. He ghosted his hands across my shoulder, where his shirt didn't cover the mark. "Sorry, Ness."

"What for?"

"I marked you again. I hope you have makeup to cover those hickeys with. I don't think they'll go well with formal wear." I hugged Jacob tightly.

"I _really_ don't mind. I like it when you mark me. I'm sure Alice packed me some silk scarves and if not I'll just buy a couple."

"Yeah, but I don't want you to feel like you can't go out and sunbathe because I can't control myself."

"Jacob, if I go out and sunbathe then I want to wear your marks proudly. I'm yours. Period. I don't care what anyone else thinks of my marks. I will cover them for our formal occasions, but otherwise I'll wear them proudly."

"Well I'll try to keep them in places only I should see from now on."

I grinned, thinking of a couple of very private places he could mark me. "Whatever you want, Jake. I'm more than happy to wear your marks."

~*O*~

**Coming up:**

"Maybe I should take up Pilates if we are going to keep up this level of intensity." She giggled.

"Whatever you want, Babe."

"Well..." she blushed. I stroked her cheek.

"Well, what?"

"Well, Alice and Rose gave me some books with some interesting positions in them, but I need to increase my flexibility before we can try them." I practically choked on my lemonade imagining which positions she was referring to; she was pretty flexible as it was.

I swallowed my lemonade and took a deep breath, "What sort of positions are we talking?"

"Rose gave me a Kama Sutra book and Ali gave me a book with a new way everyday for a year."

"Do you have them with you?"

~*O*~

**Please review: I'll give you a preview. Don't forget to check my profile for the beautiful banner DazzledbyJake made me.**


	20. Trying New Things

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17 for lemons. The content will touch on/explore BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes RARE Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship.**

Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s, BDSM, or DD lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual.

**Special thanks to my awesome beta Sawny94. This story is better because of your help. If you enjoy my story please check Sawny94 out she was one of my inspirations. You're awesome. **

**Extreme thanks to DazzledbyJake. She has only read one chapter of the story, thus far, but she has become one of my great twitter friends and with one request she took my concept and made me the most amazing crazy sexy BANNER – check out my profile for a link to the banner. She also helped me pick the lyrics for this chapter. My twitter: (at)kmddeprez1122.**

Lemony goodness in this chapter. I hope you're thirsty.

**Please Read & Review. REVIEWERS GET PREVIEWS! **

Other news – I have begun publishing the first story I wrote, Our Deliverance. It's a canon story and I am still concentrating primarily on Toe to Toe. The chapters are shorter, the updates will be slower (about once every 3 weeks), and it's totally different from this story. I am also working with Project Team Beta on improving this story to make it Twilighted worthy – I'll let you all know in these author notes when I make substantial changes. I am editing chapter two now and within two weeks it'll be posted with changes. Also for those of you who missed my pregnancy announcement last time I am now 14 weeks pregnant and somehow managed to miss the entire first trimester thinking I had an ulcer.

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyers – I am just playing in her world for a while. Song lyrics are the property of their respective authors.**

~*O*~

_You take me home_

_To glory's throne_

_By and by_

_This is the morning of our love_

_It's just the dawning of our love _

_I Feel You, _Placebo

~*O*~

Trying New Things

RPOV

I unpacked my garment bag first Alice had a note instructing which shoes and undergarments went with each dress. She had packed me three dresses for formal occasions: one floor length blue, one fuchsia knee length A line, and one black sheath dress. She had included the shoes and all undergarments in the same bag. I hung up all the pieces and folded the undergarments and set them in drawers. I set the shoes on the floor. She had packed several more dresses in the garment bag with notes that they were for the less formal evenings. I unpacked Jake's suits she had included two black suits and apparently had purchased him a brown one just like the groomsmen. She included jewelry for every formal outfit as well as purses and wraps or scarves. When I opened my primary suitcase I realized it had many more shoes than I thought I would need and I found that Jake's suitcase contained more of my shoes as well. I unpacked the casual clothes for both of us and folded or hung them as appropriate. I laid out shoes to go with almost every outfit and some were multipurpose shoes.

I then began to unpack the lingerie and asked Jake if he would mind waiting on the balcony so I could surprise him later. In addition to normal everyday bra and panties Alice had packed me several items from the lingerie shower including the leather items Rose had bought me. She had also packed some stilettos to be worn with just the lingerie.

I was most appalled when I got to the swim suits. The two one piece suits were definitely too risque since they intentionally accentuated my cleavage and dipped down below my belly button. She packed me four bikinis as well. I was blushing; I couldn't imagine wearing some of the suits in public. I loved showing off my body for Jake, but hated showing others. He had always made his thoughts about me wearing revealing clothing out in public plain. Jake's possessive statement after I wore that top to the bachlorette party were such a turn on. In the moment I remember being upset that he was angry after he'd done far worse things at his party, but later I found myself thinking how much he cared to actually get pissed about me wearing it.

"Jake, which of these six would you be okay with me wearing?" I held up a couple for him to see.

Smiling, he playfully asked, "How 'bout you model them and I'll let you know after I see them?"

I took all six into the bathroom and put on the white one piece first. It showed off pretty much all my assets and left nothing to the imagination whatsoever. I stepped out and pirouetted.

He whistled. "Whoa! That one definitely," he cleared his throat, but his voice wavered, "st-stays in the bedroom."

I wasn't sure if he liked the suit or hated it and even though I wouldn't be very comfortable in it, I was a bit disappointed that he didn't want me out of the bedroom with it. "Well, then I won't even try on the pink one since it's identical."

I was about to walk away when he pulled me to him and held me tight. "Okay, Babe. Don't take it as a bad thing I just don't want other men gawking at you. You are just amazingly gorgeous, and I won't share you with anyone." He stroked my back and bottom. "I really would rather relax and those two suits scream, 'I'm available for you to look at and you might even get lucky.' I might feel like I had to knock some heads together if I saw anyone looking at _my wife_ like that."

I giggled, but then realized he was dead serious. Trying to soothe him, I nuzzled into his chest and kissed him right over his heart. "It's fine, Jake. Really. I don't want other men looking at me either."

His face relaxed into a tender smile. "Alright, let's see the bikinis then."

I tried on the purple strapless one from La Perla, walked out and spun for Jake.

"Mmm... I like that one," he approved, smiling broadly as his eyes skimmed my form. "How do you feel about it?"

"I was initially worried because it was a bikini and strapless, but I actually really like it. I'm not sure I'd sunbathe all day in it, but it's nice."

I headed back to the bathroom to try on the snake skin print one. I managed to get into the bottoms but then couldn't tie the top right. I walked out with the top dangled around my neck.

"If you're going practically topless we can definitely say no," he stated firmly, with just a hint of playfulness in his voice.

I giggled. "No, silly, I need you to tie it in the back." I spun around and moved my breasts into the cups then held the strings for him to tie for me. He tied me up, then I turned around.

After taking a good look at me in the suit he lifted me into his arms for a kiss. Then gave me his opinion on the suit, "I like it, but there are two things I'm worried about with that suit. First, I know you, Ness, and you're gonna be swimming; that suit is mostly designed for sunbathing, hence the ties everywhere." He fingered the ties at my right hip. "The second thing I worry about is that when you dive into the water you will either lose your top, bottom, or both."

I did my best to keep a straight face and look him in the eyes. "Don't you know, Jacob, my life's ambition is to give the old fogies a heart attack when I come out of the water without my suit?"

He didn't seem phased by my statement. He ground me into his hard on and moved his mouth close to my ear. I felt his hot breath streaming across my earlobe. He responded huskily, "Oh, really? I thought your life's ambition was to keep me in a constant state of fogginess since the blood never reaches my brain when you're near. I would think flashing other men would interfere with that goal since I'd be distracted by watching them and then I wouldn't be looking at my wife's show that was supposed to be just for me."

I couldn't keep up the seriousness of my tone anymore when he did things like that. I burst into laughter then said, "I guess you're right, flashing the boat wouldn't be good. So this suit is out except for sunbathing or private swimming with just you."

He smiled and nodded before giving me a light pop on the butt and setting me back on the ground. 

I put on the red and white striped one next. I came out and modeled it.

"That one's fine and I'll be sure to double knot your top when you swim."

"Sounds good, Jake." I went back to the bathroom to try on the last one a turquoise colored J. Crew halter style. I came out and pirouetted once more.

"That one's my favorite. It's modest, but sexy," Jake told me as he took my waist in his large rough hands and guided me closer to him.

"I thought so too," I responded as I melted into his touch.

He slid his hands along my bare skin. "So three bikinis. Are you happy with all that or do you want to pick up a one piece at the on board shops?"

"These'll be fine, Alice gave me two coverups in black and white as well. If I want a one piece I can grab one in Hawaii."

"Are you happy with what she packed for you?"

"Yeah, my stuff's perfect." He chuckled. "So do you want to explore the ship or stay in our room or eat?"

"Give me a minute in here and then we can explore the ship." The room wasn't big, but I had noticed there was a door to the balcony I hadn't checked out yet. We had a king sized bed, a couch a small table and TV and a vanity as well as a bathroom. The balcony had a small table and two chairs for us to sit in. "What should I wear? What are we going to do?"

"I was thinking we should probably shower quickly and bag up the blanket from this morning and our dirty clothes for laundry and then we can decide what you should wear. Does that sound good?"

"Sure Jake."

I went and got in the shower while he took care of our laundry. He joined me a minute later. We washed each other and this time he was able to help with my hair which we both enjoyed immensely.

When we were done with the shower I again asked what I should wear since I had no idea what sort of things were on a cruise ship for food or entertainment.

"Well what do you want to do tonight?" he asked in response to my question.

"I don't know. What are our options?"

"We could go to the casino, a bar, a club, a live show, a lounge performance like a piano bar, a movie, or we could explore the topside, but most of the topside activities are for the day time, we'll run on the track in the morning and maybe swim."

"A club could be a lot of fun and we've never done that together."

"Okay, Babe. Do you want to eat before or after. If we eat after we'll either eat at the buffet or we can order room service. It's all included except for the steak house."

"Room service is included?" I asked, shocked.

"Yep, the joys of an all inclusive cruise. The only thing we have to pay for is if we eat at the steakhouse, I've scheduled us for two nights there, play at the casino, use the spa, and some minimal charges for on shore adventures – but don't worry about the cost at all. I saved a lot of money over the last couple years having roommates – it's not a big deal. I won't be drinking alcohol at all and they won't serve you so we won't have to pay for that either." He chuckled.

"Well then let's eat here after we dance the night away."

"I love you, Ness."

JPOV

I wore a pair of jeans, a black polo shirt, and some black doc martin shoes. Knowing that my baby wanted to dance I took deep breaths, attempting to calm my libido, while I watched Nessie dress. I saw her put on that funky silicone bra again that just sticks to her tits. The same one she wore on the night of my bachelor party. I still didn't understand how something without straps or a back actually worked as a push up bra but it did. She wore a turquoise thong and matching turquoise strappy five inch fuck me heels. Then she put on a blue knee length shiny dress that looked pretty normal from the front, but had a draped back that went almost to her ass. I had a fucking hot wife and she was all mine.

"Hey, Babe, you look amazing. Do you want me to wear something nicer so I don't embarrass you?" I asked.

"Jacob, you could never embarrass me," she answered seriously, "besides you look pretty hot yourself."

"I just feel under dressed compared to your magnificence."

"No – you're perfect – any hotter and I'd have to cat fight the girls to keep them off you." She giggled her sexy giggle.

"I still might have to knock some heads if guys get too close to you," I replied teasingly. "Don't be surprised if I don't take my hands off you all night." I needed to make it clear to everyone that Nessie was mine.

She walked towards the door showing me her long toned legs, her beautiful round ass, and her smooth bare back. "I like your hands on me," she replied, smiling seductively over her shoulder.

_When she talks like that I just want to keep her in the room and make love to her again and again._ However, I knew she wanted to dance and I had seen her eyes light up earlier when she realized there was a club on board, so I buried my desire to make love and followed her to the door.

She grabbed a tiny matching purse that hooked to her wrist and then we headed off to the club. I was true to my word and kept my hands on her all night. I had never taken Ness to a club before and didn't realize just how sexy she could dance. Holding her close, the light fresh scent that clung to her soft skin was intoxicating, she was grinding against me and moving seductively the whole night and I knew when we got back to the room it would be sex first, food later. I didn't even look away from her long enough to notice if anyone else was looking at her. She had me wrapped around her presence and I just wanted to make her happy and be with her.

"You getting hungry, Jake?" She asked after a few hours of dancing.

"Only for you," I murmured hungrily in her ear.

"Well – then – we should probably get back to our room."

We headed back to our room. As soon as I shut the door she slipped her dress off her shoulders and dropped it to the floor. I then saw her place the weird bra on top of the vanity and she kept walking toward the bed in just her turquoise thong and stilettos. I quickly stripped out of my clothes.

"Jake," she said hesitantly.

"Yeah, Babe," I replied.

"I really liked it when you took me from behind today. Do you want to try that again." She wiggled her ass.

_Fuck yes!_ Behind, standing, astride, even missionary; I would take Renesmee Black anyway she wanted. Being inside her was as close to heaven as I had ever been, and knowing that she wanted me as much as I want her was driving my crazy "Let's try something a little different, Babe." I wasn't really in the mood to fuck her again. I wanted to be slow and deliberate tonight, but her heels would make what I had in mind a bit easier.

"Okay, Jake, where do you want me?"

My cock hardened at her obedience. Crooking my finger, I beckoned her to me, "C'mere, Baby, I want you to kiss me first."

Eagerly she spun around. My pulse quickened as I watched her perfect breasts bounce and her hips sway. Reaching me, she wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her firm supple body into mine before our lips met in a soft kiss. As the kiss deepened, my hands snaked down her body till they were cupping and rubbing her ass, and I pulled her tight against my aching groin.

Needing to remain in control, I broke the kiss. "That's enough. Turn back around and put your hands on the bed."

She bent over perfectly with her legs spread just far enough apart. I knelt behind her as I ran a hand over her ass. I had an urge to give her a real but erotic spanking, but reminded myself that I had told her it would be a year before we went beyond vanilla sex. I distracted myself by focusing on getting rid of her thong. "Do you care about these panties?"

"Not particularly."

"Good." I took the thin fabric between my hands and tore one side open and then did the same to the other. She moaned in response. I let the torn remnants fall to the floor and slid a finger into her tight pussy. She was dripping wet for me. I couldn't help smiling, my girl liked it rough. I had to remind myself that was definitely not where we were headed tonight. Needing to firmly set the pace, I teased her slowly and gently. "Your pussy is so fucking wet. It's wet for me isn't it baby?"

She nodded her head.

"Just for me?" I asked forcefully.

"Mmmm... Hmmm... Always for you," she whimpered as she arched her back and chest down.

"Tell me how much you want my cock, Nessie." I slipped a second finger into her as she bent down a bit further.

She answered breathlessly, "It's_ all _I've been able to think about tonight."

"All you could think about. I think all this sex has corrupted my sweet innocent Nessie. Maybe we should take a break," I teased as I slipped my fingers out of her completely. She was ready for me. My cock was aching to plunge into her, but I wanted to tease her thoroughly before I made contact with her again.

"No! My Jacob! I _need_ you!" she cried, as her hips bucked seeking the pleasure only I could bring.

I stood up and said huskily, "Do you remember what I told you earlier, Ness?"

"Which part – you told me a lot of things tonight?" I positioned myself, but was careful not to make contact with her. I was enjoying teasing her.

"The part where I told you I would give you _anything_ you wanted." I slid into her slowly; I loved the way that her soft heat enveloped me.

She gripped the blankets and moaned at the deep intrusion of my cock. Gripping her hips firmly, I moved in and out of her slowly. I was having sex with Nessie in standing doggy style and she was loving it.

I kissed her back and neck, while ghosting my hands along her tits. "I've fantasized about you like this so many times," I whispered as I picked up the pace a bit.

"Really?" she moaned.

"You wore 'fuck me heels' on practically every date we ever went on. Of course I imagined you like this." I stood up straight so I had a perfect view. I held her hips and ass firmly so I could control her pace. I loved watching my cock pound in and out of my wife's perfect pussy.

"It's the – only – way I – can kiss – you," she panted out the words between my thrusts.

_Oh, I thought you were just torturing herself for style._

"So – they're for my benefit?" I growled, loving that she wore the heels specifically for me.

"And mine!" she moaned.

I left the conversation at that and just kept thrusting in and out of her. I could tell that Nessie was nearing her release. We had only begun having sex a few days ago, but my body and soul will forever be connected with hers. Already I knew the sounds of pleasure that fall from her lips when I make love to her tenderly. Today I had fucked her for the first time, but I knew the way she moans and cries with longing and need when I take her fiercely. The way her hips bucked and her body writhed as she pulled me closer, deeper inside her. I gently pinched her clit and began to move harder. One, two, three and she cried out with an intense orgasm; the pulsating walls of her pussy brought my own powerful release. She collapsed, completely worn out. Her body wasn't accustomed to the new ways we had been moving and stretching.

I moved her to the bed and removed her shoes. I laid down and cuddled with her for a while until she was sleeping lightly. We both needed to eat. I got up and called for dinner from room service. I threw on some pants and tucked her naked body in to bed tightly.

A while later dinner came and I woke Nessie with soft kisses.

"Mmmm..." she moaned.

I stroked her cheek. "Hey, Babe, I thought you would want to eat and pray before we went to sleep for the night."

"How long was I out?"

"Only about forty-five minutes."

"Wow. I don't know why I'm so tired."

I chuckled. "I do, Baby. Your body's adjusting to all the amazing sex with your hot husband."

Yawning, Ness began to giggle at the same time. "You're awfully cocky there big guy." She stretched her body and then said seriously, "I didn't think I would feel like this."

She sat up and moved over to the sitting area. I grabbed her a robe since she might not want to eat and pray naked.

"How do you feel?" I asked while she put on the robe.

"I feel euphoric, but achy. My legs definitely need to be stretched. Can you help me with some stretches before bed?"

"Sure, sure, but I thought I just spent quite a while stretching you with standing doggy style," I teased as we started to eat.

"Maybe I should take up Pilates if we are going to keep up this level of intensity." She giggled.

"Whatever you want, Babe."

"Well..." she blushed. I stroked her cheek.

"Well, what?" I prompted.

"Well, Alice and Rose gave me some books with some interesting positions in them, but I need to increase my flexibility before we can try them." I practically choked on my lemonade imagining which positions she was referring to; she was pretty flexible as it was. I was aroused by the idea of Ness in every position imaginable, but also shocked that she was so willing to try new things. It was like I had awoken a sex devil inside her.

I swallowed my lemonade and took a deep breath, "What sort of books did they get you?"

"Rose gave me a Kama Sutra book and Ali gave me a book with a new way everyday for a year."

I wanted to see what she the positions she had in mind. "Do you have them with you?"

"No, Ali put a note in my luggage that she thought it would be better for me to let you be in charge during the honeymoon and then when we got home we could look the books over together."

"Those three are trying to kill me between blow job lessons, instruction manuals, lingerie, and fuck me heels." I chuckled.

"Not to mention the waxing." She giggled.

I swallowed deliberately before I reacted. I thought the waxing was her idea. I smiled and then tried to coax more info out of her, "Who's idea was the waxing? I thought it was yours."

"Initially it was Rose's, then I was worried that you wouldn't like it, that's when Alice forced Bella to tell us how you preferred it."

I laughed heartily, imagining Bella being cornered by Rose and Alice. "Bella actually answered? I can imagine that was awkward for her."

"Would you mess with Alice when she's cranky?" she asked playfully.

"Nope; leave the pregnant pixie to Jasper."

"What's specially sculpted? I forgot to ask the day we went to the Spa," she asked casually like she was talking about weather.

I was shocked by her relaxed attitude about it and almost choked on my pasta, imagining how she even heard the phrase if she didn't know what it meant. "Jesus, Ness. Just when I think I can't be any more shocked – you ask a question like that."

"Do you like it specially sculpted?" she asked seductively.

"I like you any way you want to give yourself to me," I answered honestly. "Your hair is real soft and the red is super cute – so natural is fine. I like it bare, but if you'd been bare the first time I saw you I probably wouldn't have liked it."

"Why not?" I could tell she was slightly offended.

I tried to reassure her by answering honestly, "With our age difference and having met you when you were just a kid I might have felt like a sicko."

"Oh..." I could almost see the age worries running through her mind.

I definitely hadn't provided her with any reassurance, so I tried to explain again so she could see that I wasn't ashamed of her or my feelings for her, "I don't feel that way at all, but a lot of society sees a hairless pussy as a guy's attempt to fulfill some sort of pedophile fantasy."

"How do you see it?" She was beginning to relax, but needed my opinion on it to feel better.

"I see it as something women do to make eating them out a bit easier, but like I said I love going down on you, whether you have hair or not."

"So what's specially sculpted? Alice asked Bella if you liked it natural, bare, or specially sculpted."

_Ah pushy pixie strikes again, now I understand how she knew the phrase, but not what it meant._ I smiled and explained, "Some guys like to see designs in the hair."

"Like what?" She wasn't going to give up until I told her, so I got up and went to the nightstand to find some paper. "Where are you going?"

"It's easier to draw this than describe it."

"Oh, okay." She kept eating while I drew some triangles and then various designs I had seen in porn or real life. I drew a landing strip, a square, a heart, an arrow, a martini glass, and thunderbolts.

I gave her the pad of paper. "So the triangles are a poor representation of the pussy mound and the designs I drew are places where people leave the hair – the rest gets waxed off." She looked over the pad while I ate.

"Do you like any of these?" She asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Not particularly, but some guys like seeing their initials or a heart or shit like that."

"But, not you?"

"No," I answered honestly. "I prefer you to either be natural and in no pain or if you're going to do it then get fully waxed. Just make sure to use female waxers and be sure they're sanitary."

"Jacob..." She laughed at the obviousness of my request. _Of course she would make sure they were clean women._ "No problem."

We finished eating, prayed, stretched, and got ready for bed. Then we snuggled together to go to sleep.

~*O*~

At six am I woke up and found Nessie just watching me smiling.

"Wanna run, Babe?" I asked.

"Can we? I was worried that we would be on treadmills and we'd have to slow down since most treadmills max out at seven miles per hour."

"There's a jogging track three floors up."

"Great!" She hopped right up and went to the dresser to get our work out clothes. She tossed mine to me and we both got dressed, brushed our teeth, and said our prayers. We headed up to the track and ran for an hour.

We then went down to the buffet and had breakfast and then back to our room to shower and change for the day. I tossed our work out stuff in with the rest of our laundry and gathered the rest of our washables from the previous day. Nessie grabbed her dress from the night before and hung it back in the closet; she said it could only be hand washed and she would keep that for later.

We put on our swim suits. She chose the purple strapless one and a black cover up. We slathered each other with sun block and headed up to the pool to relax. Nessie wanted to do a Pilates class so I had signed us both up for one after lunch. If she was going to need to be more flexible I probably would need to be too. She teased me a bit about signing both of us up for the class, but I told her that Pilates was developed primarily for men by men for total fitness. She smiled and kissed me. We hung out in the pool and the hot tub for a while and then lounged under the sun. We enjoyed our day and the Pilates class was so much fun that I signed us up for the next four days at sea to do the same time.

That night was the first elegant dining night and Nessie wanted to get dressed in private so she had me get dressed and then wait on the balcony. I looked out at the ocean and waited for Nessie to pull the curtains back or open the door. After quite a while she opened the door.

Her hair was pulled up in a sleek updo. She had smoky eyes and bright red lips. She had on a pearl necklace, matching earrings, and the watch Esme had given her for the wedding. She had painted her nails the same red as her lips. She was wearing a knee length black sheath dress, black nylons, and black stiletto pumps with about a four inch heel. She looked gorgeous. I could however see the hickeys I had left on her pulse points. I instantly felt bad for marring her perfect skin.

"You look stunning." I then touched the marks I had left. "Sorry about those. I thought you were going to cover those up with make up?"

"I didn't want to get foundation on my scarf or dress. Don't worry. No one will see them after I put on my scarf." She pointed to the bed and I saw a bright red silk scarf and a small matching purse. "I wanted you to see me before I added the scarf though. Like I said earlier I wear these with pride." She kissed me softly. She then put on her scarf and grabbed her bag.

I looked in the mirror to make sure I didn't need to wipe off any lipstick. There was none. "Babe," I asked, "how is it that you didn't get any lipstick on me when you kissed me?"

"Alice packed me the kind that I have to manually remove; it doesn't wear off or smudge on other things."

"Wow – the things they can do nowadays."

"Jake," she giggled, "this kind of lipstick has been around for over a decade."

"Then why doesn't everyone use it?"

"It's more than twelve dollars per shade most women would rather reapply and spend three dollars per shade."

"But, then don't you run through it much faster?"

"Yeah, but most people don't think like you and I do."

I chuckled and then took her hand in my arm as I led her to the steakhouse.

She looked at the menu and then asked, "Why aren't there prices on the menu? I thought you said this place cost more money than the other dining room."

"It's a flat rate regardless of what you get you choose one of each course."

"Oh, prefix. I should have realized."

"What did you call it? 'Prefix' isn't that what comes before a word like 'un' in unnecessary?"

"No, my Jacob, what you said is correct, but what I said was a french phrase that sounds the same. P-R-I-X F-I-X-E, prix fixe, it means fixed price. It's popular at elegant restaurants so the person paying can keep the cost a secret and know exactly how much they're spending. Mom and Dad brought me to a restaurant like that for my eleventh birthday. She explained the concept that day."

"Why isn't it pronounced 'priks fixay' like it's spelled?" I asked.

She giggled. "The French like to drop the last letter unless there's an accent. For example, if I were to say 'my darling' in French to you it would sound like this, 'mo sher,' but would be spelled M-O-N C-H-E-R-I. If you were to say it to me it would sound like 'ma sheri,' but would be M-A C-H-E-R-I-E."

"Okay, I guess I understand. Thank God I never had to take French; I would have failed miserably," I admitted with a wink and a smile.

"We all have our gifts. I happen to be good at languages and book stuff, but I couldn't tell you the difference between the parts on the cuff links I gave you and the ones I gave Quil or what those parts are supposed to do."

"Do you want me to explain the difference between a head cylinder and spark plugs some time?" I asked teasing her, knowing she had zero interest in automotive mechanics.

"Only if you want to, but I can't guarantee how much will stick."

"I would love to sit down with you in the garage some time and tell you all about engines, but I wouldn't want to bore you."

She bit her lip, then added, "Watching my husband get all dirty and sweaty might distract me too much to learn anything."

I hummed playfully while thinking and then suggested, "We could make a game of it. I teach you and then quiz you and anything you forget earns me a reward anything you remember earns you a reward."

"Tempting, but I can think of something more fun we could be doing in the garage, that doesn't involve quizzing or keeping score." She smiled coyly.

My cock hardened. "Like what?" I asked, but then the waiter interrupted before she could answer.

"Can I get you anything to drink."

"Iced tea and water with lemon please," Nessie answered him, her face slightly flushed with the embarrassment of being caught talking about sex.

"I'll have the same," I answered when he looked to me. As soon as he left, I looked at Nessie and started caressing her hand. "Now you were saying something about more fun in the garage?"

"I just thought it might be fun surrounded by cars and the smell of oil and leather."

"Well, then," I smiled cockily, "I'll have to make you a private appointment to look under your hood when we get home."

She giggled and blushed again and then went back to the menu.

When the waiter came back we placed our orders. I was having tuna tartare, a tomato and Gorgonzola salad, prime rib, and a baked potato. Nessie ordered a shrimp cocktail, a Caesar salad, surf and turf, and steamed broccoli. We've always shared our food so we did so through the various courses.

When we began to eat our entrees Nessie looked practically orgasmic.

I chuckled, "You seem to be enjoying that lobster."

"Jacob you _have_ to try this." She sliced a bite off the tail and held her fork out to me.

_Wow! I always assumed Maine lobster couldn't be that different from what they served as lobster in Washington. I was wrong._

"Wow! That _is_ amazing."

"I guess there's a difference between spiny lobster and Maine lobster I just never realized it was so extreme."

"I know. I always thought lobster was lobster. Sort of like salmon is salmon there may be differences, but the underlying flavor is the same."

"This is so sweet and spiny lobster just isn't. They don't remotely taste the same. I think what I've eaten as lobster my whole life would be closer to the flavor of crawfish."

"I agree. When we come for our second night here I'll definitely get the surf and turf."

The waiter returned when we were finished and took our dessert orders. Nessie got the chocolate sampler and I got caramelized apples in puff pastry.

We decided to head straight back to the room after dinner. Nessie left her bag on the vanity and I took off my jacket. She removed her scarf and laid it by her bag. I slipped out of my shoes and socks.

She stood before me and untied my tie. "I get so turned on by you in a tie. I know you hate them, but I can use them to pull you closer to my lips." She pulled against my tie and stole a kiss. She then started unbuttoning my shirt while laying kisses on my neck. I traced her curves through her dress. She seemed to have a plan and I didn't want to interfere yet.

"I love you, Nessie," I whispered as she reached my last button.

"I love you too, my Jacob." She was just as possessive of me as I was of her. She started to remove my shirt, but then just stopped and moved on to her watch. I figured she wanted me to take my shirt off for some reason. So I took off both my dress shirt and undershirt, while she spent a lot of time on the bracelet. Finally, she held her wrist to me and silently begged for my help. I removed it quickly. "Sorry about that; it just started to bother me and I needed to get it off."

"It's fine, Ness." I kissed her. She then undid my belt and followed with my pants. They dropped to my ankles and I stepped out of them. "Should we even the score now?" I asked. "You're a bit overdressed now." She spun so I could see the V back.

"The zipper starts at the top of the V," she said simply.

I unzipped her and had my first peek of her bra it was sheer black floral lace. I slipped the dress off her shoulders, but she caught it in the front and turned around.

"I wanted you to have the full effect from the front." She then dropped the dress and I saw her lingerie. She had on a matching thong and a thin matching garter belt around her waist. The garters were laid under her thong and attached to black thigh high stockings. Someone must have given her instructions on exactly how to wear one since prom night when she wore her panties under her garters. She still had on her pearls and stilettos.

"Wow! I see why you wanted me undressed first."

She spun. "You like?" I got a view of her gorgeous ass.

"I love!"

"Good."

"I think we only need to remove a couple more things before we make love."

"Well, the boxers need to go," she said with a giggle.

"Mmm... hmm..." I removed my boxers. "So do the shoes – as sexy as they are... I'm making love to you tonight and I don't want to get spiked by a stiletto in bed." She giggled softly. I knelt down and kissed her stomach. I lifted her right leg and skimmed my fingers down to her shoe and removed it; then did the same with her left leg. _Just one more thing to remove then I can have my wife. _I slipped my fingers into the sides of her thong and slowly removed it. There was something so fucking sensual about my wife dressed in just a bra, garter belt, and stockings.

"Do you have any requests tonight, Nessie?" I looked up at her face.

She giggled and blushed. She did want something, but she was embarrassed.

I would have to work her through her shyness. "You can tell me anything, Baby. I'm yours."

She bit her lip and was still blushing.

I kissed her breasts through the lace. "Baby, do you want me to guess what you want? Or will you tell me?"

"It's silly..."

I smiled up at her, my lips had found her nipples and began sucking them through the fabric of her bra. "Guessing it is then." _Let's start with unlikely things she wouldn't be this embarrassed about. _ "Do you want a massage?"

She moaned and shook her head.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" My tongue circled one hardened nub languidly.

She nodded and her cheeks got a bit pinker, her head fell back as I gently bit her nipple.

"I'm assuming you aren't embarrassed about wanting a kiss on the lips."

She shook her head and bit her lip a soft moan escaped her lips.

_God, she is cute when she gets shy. _I moved to her other nipple, sucking it into my mouth and ran my tongue around it. I needed a minute to think. _Why would Nessie be embarrassed about wanting me to go down on her? She's never been shy about asking for it before only about talking dirty. What haven't we done that could involve me going down on her? Sixty-nine? Maybe. _I released her taught bud, dragging my teeth across it slowly.

She moaned.

"Nessie, my love, my wife, my everything, does what you want involve me going down on you?"

She nodded and her cheeks pinked up just a bit more.

"That isn't all is it?"

She shook her head and licked her lips.

"Do you want to suck my cock too?"

Her cheeks went flame red; she hesitated to move her head.

I moved the fabric away from her breast, so I could her bare nipple into my mouth, lavishing her with attention from my tongue. _ Definitely sixty-nine. I know my girl. Just one more question and hopefully we can get past the embarrassment._ I released the pink nub. "Nessie do you want to do both at the same time?"

She nodded shyly.

"As much fun as I have figuring out what you want – you don't have to be embarrassed about anything with me."

"But – but, I don't know how to do it or even what it's called I just saw it in porn years ago."

"Sixty-nine is what it's called and there are lots of ways to do it. Let's have you on top tonight. I'm not ready to risk you gagging yet and I might push too deep if I'm in control." I sat on the bed so my knees were at foot of the bed, laid back, and put a pillow under my head.

She looked confused.

"What are you confused about, Babe?" I asked gently.

"I thought you would be sitting and holding me up."

"Not until you can deep throat me – pretty much every form of sixty-nine other than this one gives me too much control. I could choke you or cut off your air."

"I like having you in control," she pouted adorably.

"I know, Babe, I'll hold you tight the whole time, but we aren't ready for sitting or standing yet," I stated firmly.

"Standing?" Her eyes lit with the question.

I couldn't help but laugh at the face she was making. "No more talking. We're getting distracted. C'mere."

She came over, knelt perpendicular to my position, and kissed me.

"Okay you need to crawl over me so that your knees are by my shoulders and you can reach my dick."

She did. I adored how easily she took my instructions.

"Now you do whatever you want, but if you get overwhelmed please release me instead of biting down."

"I'd never bite you, Jake."

I chuckled. "Just letting you know it happens sometimes when girls orgasm during sixty-nine."

I knew Nessie wanted to deep throat me, but I also knew it wasn't something a girl mastered overnight and I didn't want her to push herself beyond her limits or abilities. She always had some worries that she wouldn't measure up to Bella, but honestly there was no comparison, Nessie was in an entirely different league. Nessie had washed away all my previous sexual memories and replaced them with pure love and ecstasy. I was fine with whatever she wanted to try as long as she didn't try to force herself to do things she wasn't ready for.

She took my cock into her warm wet mouth. I then went to work on her pussy. I wrapped one arm around her waist so she could feel my strength and the other around her thigh so I could reach her pussy with my fingers. I licked her clit while I fingered her. My other hand began rubbing along her thighs and ass, feeling her satin soft skin against the silk hosiery. She took me deeper than she ever had. The angle allowed her to stretch her neck and take me further without gagging.

_Damn! We should have tried this months ago. _

I loved the sweet and salty flavors of her pussy as I lapped up her juices. I felt her tensing against me as I drove her crazy with my tongue and fingers as she tried to concentrate on my cock in her mouth. _God she was amazing._ I brought her to orgasm four times before she could focus enough to get me off. She froze each time she climaxed; it pleased me that I could distract and I gladly held off my orgasm for hers. I told her she didn't have to make me cum, but Nessie wanted to.

When we were done she rolled off me and could barely move. I felt strangely proud of my virility for being able to render her helpless from her orgasms as I grabbed her a bottled water from the minibar.

"Nessie, are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm just overwhelmed right now," she said with a smile. She sat up and took the water. "We should have done that months ago."

I chuckled. "I had that same thought a little while ago."

"I could take you so much deeper than normal."

"Oh, Baby, believe me, I noticed." I kissed her deeply. "Thank you for thinking of that."

"Thank you for getting me to talk about it."

"No problem, Ness. Do you want to make love again or have you had enough for the night?"

"I want to, but I need to be ready for bed first. I think one more orgasm and I won't have the energy to take off my bra, much less pray, or wash my face."

I chuckled as I hugged her tightly. "Take your time." She relaxed in my arms and I decided tonight would be a good night for the lotus position since it'll allow her to relax fully in my embrace.

She headed to the bathroom and went through her night routine and then I did the same. She stripped out of her lingerie, but put on a bathrobe to pray. I knew she felt weird praying naked, but didn't mind if I was naked. I always figure God sees me naked and knows all my thoughts and feelings so I have nothing to be ashamed of when I make time to pray. We said our prayers and then she took off her robe.

"Nessie, are you sure you're not too tired?"

"No, Jake, I'm fine. I was just super relaxed earlier. I needed to recover. Now I'm good."

"Okay, I want to try something really intimate and I think we're both flexible enough for the basic position."

"Do you think we need to stretch first?" She was always so practical.

"No, I think we'll be fine; it isn't that strenuous."

"Okay - what is it?"

"It's Lotus position. Basically, I sit cross legged on the bed, then you sit in my lap facing me with your legs wrapped loosely around my back, then we hold each other and make love. It's very intimate."

"Okay, that doesn't sound too difficult."

I got on the bed and positioned myself so I was facing the headboard. I had a feeling she might go right to sleep in my arms and I wanted to be able to put her down with minimal movement. She knelt in front of me and I kissed her and fondled her breasts. I slipped a finger inside of her; she wasn't quite ready. I teased her pussy and clit while she held my shoulders and I kissed her gently.

When she was ready I pulled her closer to me and she shifted so she was in my lap with her legs to either side. I positioned my cock with one hand while I guided her closer with an arm around her waist. When I finally penetrated her she moaned. I moved my hand so I was embracing her with both arms. She wrapped her arms and legs around me and pulled herself closer. We then started rocking together whispering our love for each other. Whispering just seemed right in the moment. It was loving, soulful, and spiritual. We made love slowly in each others arms. She climaxed twice before I released. We rocked a little more, but I could tell she was worn out. I held her to me and felt her breathing transition from exhausted pants to deep sleeping breaths while I was softening inside of her. I moved her gently onto her back on her side of the bed. I got up turned out all the lights, cuddled next to my beautiful wife, and covered us with the blankets.

The next four days were similar. We ran every morning and did Pilates in the afternoons. We made love everyday, most days we made love three or more times. We hung out at the pool and even used the water slide one day.

~*O*~

**Coming up:**

"Pick a number between one and two hundred." I said.

"Okay," she answered after a few seconds of thinking.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Oh, I thought we were playing a game where you had to guess." I chuckled at her answer and kissed her; she was so adorable sometimes. "One-eighty-five."

"Okay." I didn't have that breakdown in my wallet I would have to get change at the cashiers station.

"Is there some reason you had me pick a number?"

"Yep, but it's a surprise."

~*O*~

Visual Stimulation for cruise:

www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/nessies_cruise_attire/set?id=18744754

www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/nessies_cruising_attire2/set?id=18744094

www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/formal_cruise_wear/set?id=18743407

And check out my banner made by Dazzled-by-Jake: h t t p (colon double back slash) bit (dot) ly/atNnl7

**Please review. **


	21. Upping the Ante

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17 for lemons. The content will touch on/explore BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes RARE Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship.**

Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s, BDSM, or DD lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual.

**Special thanks to my awesome beta Sawny94. This story is better because of your help. If you enjoy my story please check Sawny94 out she was one of my inspirations. You're awesome. **

**Extreme thanks to DazzledbyJake. She has only read one chapter of the story, thus far, but she has become one of my great twitter friends and with one request she took my concept and made me the most amazing crazy sexy BANNER – check out my profile for a link to the banner. She also helped me pick the lyrics for this chapter. **

My twitter: (at)Efficient_Vixen. I also am changing my FanFiction pen name to something similar.

**I'm not going to warn you any more about lemons – they will be in just about every chapter from here on in. Get used to it and don't read it until you have time to deal with sexual content ;).**

Chapter Specific AN: 18 is the legal gambling age on Cruise Ships. There is a scene that depending on your point of view exhibits a certain amount of D/s flavor it could also happen in a vanilla relationship without ever recognizing the D/s tendencies. Do not concern yourself with why Ness doesn't have a safe word or why Jake didn't set some rules before he engaged her this way. I'll deal with it before the honeymoon is over. And before anyone asks: no, Jake does not have a shoe fetish, but his girl wears some seriously sexy heels sometimes.

**Other news** – **Our Deliverance **will take a bit longer to update than I had originally expected. I have this insane dream of working with the wonderfully talented people at ProjectTeamBeta on it and that takes time. Sorry, I know I left you all hanging with that intense prologue – I will be regular in my updates once I figure out whether they will take my story. If they take it, it may be a few more weeks until you see an update on chapter one, if they don't then I will put up the next chapter as soon as I know. Believe me their feedback is worth the wait. Chapter 2 of **Toe to Toe** (IS NOT REVISED YET, BUT) should be republished at the same time I put out chapter 22. Chapter 2 doesn't change any of the history of the story, but with the feedback of ProjectTeamBeta I was able to remove a lot of extraneous fluff and add some graphic threesome sex as well as expanding on my character motivations – now I am just waiting on their feedback on my second round of edits before I pub it. So I promise next time you will have chapter 22 and a revised chapter 2 that you can think of almost like an outtake. Also for those of you who missed my pregnancy announcement in the last couple chapters **I am now almost 16 weeks pregnant**.

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyer – I am just playing in her world for a while. Song lyrics are the property of their respective authors.**

~*O*~

_I want to feel you from the inside_

_I want to fuck you like an animal_

_My whole existence is flawed_

_You get me closer to god_

_Closer, _Nine Inch Nails

~*O*~

Chapter 21: Upping the Ante

JPOV

The last day before we got to Hawaii Nessie wanted to use one of her formal outfits since this cruise only had two formal evenings in the schedule. She wanted to do something special so I thought that would be a good evening to eat in the main dining room, see a show, and maybe visit the Casino or the Piano Bar.

Nessie had me get dressed and wait on the balcony again. She really liked surprising me for dates. I didn't mind; it made my girl happy. When she opened the door I took in her outfit. She had on the black fuck me heels she wore the night of the bachelor party and then black stockings and a hot pink dress. She had on black pearls and a black shawl draped around her arms. Her hair was down and she had on shimmery pink lip gloss and eyeshadow. She had removed the red polish from her nails and they were a soft pink again.

"You look beautiful," I stated simply.

"Thank you." She tilted her head up for a kiss. I gave her one and then when I licked my lips afterward I tasted watermelon.

"Mmm... I like watermelon."

"I know." She giggled. "Believe it or not that's the color of the dress so watermelon lip gloss was appropriate."

"You look and taste amazing," I leaned in for another kiss.

"So what do you have planned for us tonight?" she asked.

"It's a surprise."

"What a shock!" she said sarcastically then giggled as I began to tickle her. Pulling her close, I stole one more kiss and let her go so she could grab a tiny black hand bag, gave me her arm and we walked to the dining room.

After dinner I led her to the theater for a live performance of _My Fair Lady_. I got lucky with the entertainment that night since it could have been an opera in a foreign language, instead it was a musical that we both enjoyed, surprisingly. I noticed another show that I thought we'd both enjoy would be playing in a couple days and made a mental note to invite her out for that show as well. It was a tap show that involved five guys dancing on industrial equipment and doing percussion and welding. It was on the other night I had reservations at the steakhouse and that was a casual dining evening so it seemed perfect.

She really enjoyed the show and we chatted happily about it as I led her to the casino.

"Pick a number between one and two hundred." I said.

"Okay," she answered after a few seconds of thinking.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Oh, I thought we were playing a game where you had to guess." I chuckled at her answer and kissed her she was so adorable sometimes. "One-eighty-five."

"Okay." I didn't have that breakdown in my wallet I would have to get change at the cashiers station.

"Is there some reason you had me pick a number?" she asked suspiciously.

"Yep, but it's a surprise." I teased, leading her to the Casino. "This is why I had you pick a number that's our start value." I brought her over to the cashiers station and handed the cashier four one hundred dollar bills. "I need twenty in quarters, ten in one dollar coins, and the rest in five tens and twenties as you see fit." The woman made change and registered us both for some sort of rewards program with our cruise cards. I grabbed two change buckets, put most of the money in one of them and put thirty back in my wallet. I led Nessie over to a couple of comfy chairs and a table.

"Okay, Ness, we have to set rules before we gamble. Becks made me promise that before we gambled we would set some rules. You just set the start value. We each get one hundred-eighty-five dollars to start with. She recommended that be our floor and we consider that to be sunk money. From this point forward that money has been spent so we can have a good time," I explained seriously.

"Okay." She giggled. "I never realized gambling was such serious business."

"Well, Becks has some friends who are compulsive gamblers so she wanted to make sure that neither of us did anything stupid."

"Okay that makes sense."

"You have to go in believing you will loose all your starting money, but you also can hope you might win. Hope is the dangerous part of gambling and it is why people get addicted. So we also need to set a ceiling for each of us. If we go above the ceiling we stop playing and those are our winnings."

"One thousand dollars." She anticipated what I would say next and set the ceiling decisively.

I smiled at her willingness to go along with this. "Okay a thousand it is. Now we need a second higher ceiling, but I can't tell you why until you set it."

"Eighteen thousand five hundred," she said decisively.

I chuckled. "You got something for 185 tonight Ness?"

"Nope, it was just the first number that popped into my head when you asked the question and then I just multiplied it by a hundred." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Okay, Nessie." I kissed her. "So the reason for the second ceiling is if we win big which is very unlikely, but possible. Anything either of us wins between the two ceiling values must be spent before we get home on things not on the itinerary and not in the casino."

"Okay. Are there any other rules?"

"Well, obviously we stick together. We don't have to play the same games, but I want to stay by your side all night." I loved having her with me and this was a new experience for both of us. I wanted to see her reactions.

"Obviously." She rolled her eyes. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, we play til we hit a ceiling or rock bottom."

"What if we decide we're dead tired, but we're still between zero and a thousand."

"We can call it a night, but we have to come back at some point and finish playing." I suddenly had a thought. "Or we can let it all ride on one bet at a table."

"Okay that sounds fun we'll decide if we hit that point."

"What do you want to play, Ness?"

Her eyes got big. "Slots and craps! What do you want to do, Jake?"

I chuckled at her enthusiasm. "Black jack, roulette, and slots." I divided up our cash into our two buckets.

"The tables will eat money fast so do you want to do those first or slots first?"

"Let's do tables first – I'll keep at least 100 just for slots."

I walked with her over to the craps table. She played several rounds. The game confused the hell out of me, but she explained that we were betting on how lucky the person with the dice was, but we weren't actually rolling the dice and the rules seemed really complicated. She said it had the best odds of any game in the casino, though. I just let my lucky girl play and didn't worry about the rules at all. She walked away with five hundred dollars in chips in her little bucket plus one hundred and thirty-five of her start up money in cash.

I wasn't nearly as lucky as Nessie was; we went to black jack next and I lost the fifty dollars I put in to that game over five hands. We then moved on to roulette. Once Nessie watched the game for a few minutes she decided she would play as well and she had plenty of money to play with. The minimum bet was five dollars. I placed single bets on the second twelve numbers, nineteen, twenty-four, and a bet on black. Ness placed double bets on the first twelve, black, nine, ten, and fourteen. I went for our ages and she went for our anniversary. The ball landed on ten which meant that for the fifty Ness put in she got back three hundred and eighty dollars. I got back five from my twenty five for my black bet. She was a very lucky lady. We cashed out for standard chips, Nessie was afraid she wouldn't be allowed to play slots if she won again. I laughed at the idea that that was a problem for her. I had one hundred and twenty to spend at the slot machines and Nessie had nine hundred and sixty-five dollars.

It was like she had a magic touch. She decided to play two cent slots since the payouts were low and she could draw out the experience. She was really enjoying the play part of gambling. Every time I looked over at her she had a huge grin lighting up her beautiful face and I couldn't help but smile back. I loved seeing my girl so happy, but soon I noticed a little frown furrow her brow. I began to think that she wanted to lose so she could play longer. I played a nickle machine behind her.

After her tenth spin on the two cent slots she cursed, "Fuck!" Nessie never swore except in bed. I spun around and saw lights flashing. She had won something big and she looked pissed. I was laughing at her problem.

"Whatcha win, Ness?" I asked teasingly, drawing her into my arms.

"Only money counts right?" Her eyes were hopeful.

"I don't know. Depends on what you won." She pointed up. I saw a picture of a turbo-diesel Mercedes Benz luxury SUV with all the amenities. The car is valued at around ninety thousand.

I laughed louder. "You won a luxury SUV and you're pissed!" She was pouting because she couldn't play any more. I kissed her cute pouty lips. Then a casino host came over and got Nessie's information and our address so he could have the SUV delivered to us. He also wanted a PR picture of Nessie and I. She was still pouting. I rubbed her back and whispered in her ear, "If you smile for the picture I'll split what I have left and you can play until it's gone."

She instantly beamed.

We moved to dollar slots and I kept the start money. We got a third bucket just in case she kept winning. Every time I used a dollar she used a dollar. She was still winning small amounts five and ten here and there. I was still losing, but having a great time. When we got to the last two dollars I told her and she took the coin we each put our coins in and then pushed our buttons. I lost yet again, but my lucky wife's machine was buzzing and sirens were going off.

"I think you have to be the luckiest person in the world," I shouted in amazement. "Whatcha win this time?"

"Well I'm sure I'm lucky because I have you as my husband, but look at the screen if you want to know what I won."

I looked up and saw she had won the grand prize. "Holy shit! I should take you to Vegas!"

"I think I'd like that." She giggled.

"Did I create a monster?" I held her tight.

"No, we'd still need rules, but maybe I'd set the low ceiling a hair higher next time," she replied seriously.

The casino host had found us again. She won a free twelve day cruise for two on a Dream Class ship and twenty-five thousand dollars. They did another photo op with us and then we cashed out. I was so amused by the situation. The first time Nessie gambles she wins a cruise, a Mercedes, and over twenty six thousand dollars while I lose everything. We were given a stack of information about the free cruise and told that if we chose to downgrade and not go to Europe we could opt for two shorter cruises, or three very short cruises with our vouchers. We went to the cashier and redeemed her chips and the check from her big win. We headed back to our room with a security escort. I placed the cash in the room safe and added some of Nessie's jewelry since we were using the safe. In the morning I'd convert the cash to traveler's checks at guests services.

Locking the safe, I stood and turned back towards Ness sitting on the bed. "I swear, Ness I'd never imagined myself saying this, but because of the rules we set we need to burn through eighteen thousand five hundred dollars in the next week," I said seriously.

"Well, I could buy nine pairs of shoes..."

I laughed not entirely sure that she was joking, she could easily spend that much on shoes. "Are you being serious?"

"Only partly... whatever's left when we get ready to leave could be used for high end shopping." She giggled. "I'll make an honest effort to spend the money on things other than that, but what am I not allowed to spend it on again?"

"Anything on the itinerary – for example when we climb the volcano you can't pay for that - and you can't spend it on meals. Those parts are my responsibility."

"So basically, I can buy souvenirs and things like that."

"Yep."

"Can I use the money to ship things I buy here home?"

"Of course, if you think you can't bring something aboard or on our flight home then feel free.

"Okay." She had a light in her eyes like she was formulating a plan. She was enjoying the moment so I wasn't going to ask her what she was planning.

I extended a hand for her to get up. "You ready to stay here or do you want to go dancing or to the piano bar for a while?"

"Here sounds perfect. Let's pray and then we can have some fun."

We said our prayers and then she came over and kissed me deeply.

My hands wandered up her legs, sneaking their way up under her dress. "What do you have under that dress tonight?"

"Do you want to see?" she asked suggestively.

"When do I not want to see?" I rolled my eyes.

"Take off your clothes and hang them in the closet and then you can take mine off." I did as she said and I tossed my boxers on the floor in the closet as well. I walked up to her and slid my hands along her sides.

"I love you, Babe." I untied the belt at her waist.

"I love you too, Jake." She started running her hands along my abs and fondled my dick.

"You were so cute when you won the car tonight and started pouting." I moved my hands to her back and found her zipper at the center I slowly pulled it down. I then slid the dress off her shoulders as I kissed her deeply.

I saw her lingerie and hardened at the sight before me. She was wearing a soft pink lace bra, thong, and garter belt attached to sheer black thigh highs. She had developed quite a liking for thigh highs and garter belts.

"Hey, Babe, I _love_ the new look, but why'd you swap to thigh highs and garters. I've seen you in them practically every night we've been here. You're spoiling me." I ghosted my hands over her thighs and ass.

"Well – I like them – I feel sexy in them – and I love your reaction to them." I kissed her neck softly. "Plus, once Rose explained how to wear them they actually became much easier to wear. On prom night I didn't actually know how to wear it right so it made it more complicated."

"Mmm... Hmm..." I murmured against her neck. I was determined not to mark her again, but I couldn't resist kissing and licking her neck. "I love you. You're so fucking sexy. No matter what you wear or don't wear." I nibbled her ear softly. "Do you want to keep this stuff on tonight or can I strip you bare?" I asked her huskily.

"I belong to you. You can have me anyway you want me, my Jacob," she answered breathlessly.

I unhooked her bra and slipped it off her. "Yes, mine!" My hand cupped her supple breast and snaked down to her core. "Mine," I repeated as both hands skimmed around to caress her ass and my mouth claimed her sweet lips.

"Yours," she moaned as her fingers tugged my hair, pulling me closer.

"My Nessie, my wife, my love." I slid my hands into her thong and slipped it down her legs. She stepped out of it. I didn't want to remove her heels so I was leaving on the garter belts and stockings. Those heels screamed fuck me; I recalled the first time I saw them after my bachelor party. "The first time I saw you wearing these heels I decided I wanted to fuck you while you wore them." I whispered in her ear. "Do you want me to_ fuck you_ in them?"

"Yes, please."

"If you can say it when you win a car you can say it for me."

"Please _fuck me_, my Jacob," she purred seductively.

"It'll be my pleasure to press you against the wall and fuck you hard." I slipped a finger into her pussy while I kissed her deeply. "You want me, Baby, don't you? I can feel that you do, you're so fucking wet."

"All for you, my Jacob." I kept kissing and fingering her while I picked her up and walked us toward the balcony. She wrapped her arms and legs around me.

"I know – you're all for me. You're made for me and I'm made for you."

"Where are you taking me, Jake?"

"I wanna fuck you outside."

"Really?" She blushed, but her eyes flashed with excitement.

"Yeah – you okay with that?"

"I don't know. What if the people next door overhear or the people upstairs or downstairs?"

"I don't care who hears us on the balcony – no one can see us. If you wanna be loud we can be. If you wanna keep quiet that's up to you." I opened the door and could feel the warm sea breeze and smell the salt and spray. I brought her out to the balcony and pressed her against the glass windows of our room.

~*O*~

RPOV

Jake had me pushed against the cool glass on our balcony. I was getting wetter and wetter as he told me how he wanted to fuck me and how he had thought about me in these heels. His fingers had me on the verge of cumming already.

He lifted me slightly and then pressed his long hard dick into my tight entrance. He let me settle to my feet. Somehow he lowered himself so I could touch the ground while he thrust into me. I was too interested in what I was feeling to care. He was filling me and I was moaning softly. Every part of me wanted him in me hard and fast. His kisses were alternating between soft and strong almost teasing.

"Jacob, ohh, my Jacob. I want you to fuck me hard," I whispered in his ear. The dirty talk caused him to smile.

"How hard, my Nessie?" He thrust just the littlest bit harder.

"Really hard. I'll try to keep quiet, but I want you to fuck me hard." His thrusts were becoming more forceful.

His voice became demanding as he said, "Well, you can _try _to keep quiet, but I'm gonna make you scream."

"Well then," I whispered in his ear, "I'll take that as a challenge." I licked his ear. "You're going to have to earn every sound that escapes my lips from this point forward." He kissed me fiercely, Jacob never could resist a challenge. He started thrusting harder, but I kept silent. He whispered very dirty things in my ears, telling me how much he was enjoying the feel of my pussy on his cock and how he wouldn't stop until he made me scream in ecstasy.

I could barely contain my sounds, but I was determined. I bit his shoulder to keep myself from moaning or whimpering as he pounded into me. I wanted to scream, but as much as I was enjoying his roughness, his power, his possession, and his passion, I couldn't let him win. He moved faster and harder when I bit him.

Jacob quickly caught on that I was using his shoulder to keep from crying out. "You're being a naughty girl, Nessie. Don't you know naughty girls always get punished, Baby. I think I need to change our position so that you can only use your own restraint to keep from making noise."

I said nothing.

He kept his thrusting firm and fast. I wanted him to make me scream so bad, but my own competitive streak was out and I wanted to win too. I knew either way I would 'win,' but the game excited me. "What d'ya say we up the ante?" He waited for me to answer even though he knew I wouldn't. "I'll take your silence as a yes."

He lifted me up and removed his manhood from my throbbing core. I was confused. I thought he was going to tell me how we were upping the ante. Instead he stopped.

I held back a whimper; I wanted more.

He set me on my feet. "Don't worry, Baby. I'm not done with you yet. I'm gonna fuck you till you can't move." He chuckled and then kissed me firmly. He didn't move me, but he did caress my breasts. "Ready? Just nod or shake your head."

I nodded.

He stepped back and then said, "Set your hands on on the rail."

I stepped over to the rail and turned to face Jacob and then set my hands behind me on the railing.

He shook his head and chuckled. "Are you being intentionally difficult to make me give more instructions? Renesmee, you are being a _very _naughty girl tonight."

I didn't answer, but smiled sweetly.

He chuckled and shook his head again. "I think we're both going to enjoy this." He smiled his sexy smile.

His voice took on a dominant tone. "Turn around, Nessie." I obeyed. "Bend over until your tits are hanging over the rail."

I was confused. I hesitated.

He stepped up behind me and spoke huskily against my ear, "Nessie, I thought you were being quiet." He started running his hands all over my skin. "No one will see you unless you cry out and _you're_ determined not to. I have the marks to prove that. I want to see if you can keep that determination up when you don't have something to sink your teeth into."

I moved so that I was bent slightly with my rib cage set against the edge of the railing and my breasts hanging over the rail with the undersides just barely grazing the glass under the smooth round wood top.

He pressed into my wet center and started thrusting again, gently at first, but getting progressively harder. There was an element of excitement that I felt at the experience. I knew no one from above would be able to see my breasts, but there were several decks below us with balconies and if someone looked up or if someone on our deck looked to the side I would be exposed. Jacob was pounding into me and holding my hips tightly. I was incredibly turned on, but I was also confused. Jacob was always so adamant that no one else should see me naked.

I couldn't keep my noise in much longer. I even moan when I'm masturbating so this was a doomed plan from the beginning. I bit my lip to distract myself from the good feelings Jacob was imparting upon me. That was a bad idea. I bit my lip harder than I planned as he thrust in harder than I expected. I couldn't stop the soft cry that escaped me. I immediately started looking below and to my sides to see if anyone had heard. No one had, except Jacob.

"Well that was a nice sound, but I wouldn't call it a scream," he teased.

I gave up on silence as he started moving even faster. I moaned louder and louder, but kept my eyes peeled so I could cover myself with my arms if I saw anyone. As I released my restraint on my voice my body also released some of its restraint and I was suddenly overcome with a massive orgasm I hadn't realized I was holding back. I felt him cumming as I was in the throes of my own orgasm and accidentally screamed his name. I saw a head peak out a few decks down and threw my arms around my chest.

Jacob instantly lifted me so I was tightly cocooned against his body, before my arms had even contacted my chest. He whispered, "I love you. You have nothing to be afraid of. No one except me could see you." I relaxed against him. He was still hard inside me and I was fully aware of our position now that he had me in his arms and I wasn't exposed anymore.

"How do you know no one could see me?"

"Well from above, you would look like a woman in a skimpy swimsuit so they wouldn't know the difference and from below you're lit from behind so no one could see you except me."

"Oh, but what about from the sides." I wrapped my arms behind us around his neck. His hands moved to massage my breasts.

"That was a little riskier, but I only had to consider the nine rooms to the left since we're against an ell of the ship, but we've met all the people staying in those rooms and honestly they're all night owls and probably still at the night clubs, bars, or casino. It's a bit early in the night for any of them to be back yet."

"I was confused because you usually don't want anyone to see me. I was also a bit nervous about being seen. Then suddenly I saw someone a few decks below poke their head out."

"I figured you saw something when I saw your hands move I knew I needed to make you feel safe. You never had anything to worry about though. I had you the whole time. I don't want anyone else to see you. You're mine." He squeezed me gently. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm perfect."

"Good." He slipped out of me, then turned me and gently kissed me. I wrapped my arms and legs around him. He wrapped his arms back around me and then brought us to bed. Our night was far from over, Jake wasn't done with me yet. He made love to me for hours and made me feel perfectly loved and safe.

~*O*~

Our first day in Hawaii was Saturday. We landed on the big island at eight am to spend the day at Kona, then later in the week we'd see the other side of the island. He told me that for the next week we wouldn't need to run unless I wanted to because almost everyday we had an activity planned that would involve plenty of exercise. I wanted to anyway; I liked running with Jacob and getting ready for the day. We had been going nonstop every day from five or six am until eleven or twelve at night. After our run that morning Jake handed me a folder with all our shore excursions for Hawaii in it so I could have the option to change anything I didn't like. He also told me it would give me the chance to dress appropriately for our activities and to plan for our down time. I told him I trusted his judgment and I didn't need the itinerary. He told me he wanted me to know and then he headed off to guest services to find out how we could secure our winnings in Hawaii. He looked exasperated when he came back a while later.

He sat down in one of the chairs. I stepped behind him and started rubbing his shoulders. "What's wrong, my Jacob?" I could feel the tension in his muscles.

He chuckled. "I never thought I'd feel like having money would be such a chore. It's a weird feeling." He relaxed his head against my chest. "Apparently, I can't get traveler's checks on the boat since there's no bank. They can issue us prepaid visa or master cards or they can wire the money home to one of our banks at home. There aren't any branches of our banks in Hawaii, either. Apparently, Hawaii has almost no national or international banks"

I thought this would be a good time to ask a Hawaiian what to do and called Jake's sister Rebecca. I had his families numbers programmed for emergencies. "Hello?" She answered.

"Hi Rebecca, it's Renesmee."

"May, is everything okay?" she asked, panic laced through her voice.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just had a banking question about Hawaii."

"Okay."

"Can you recommend a bank in Kona? Jake said most banks are local."

"Yeah, Bank of Hawaii is where Jon keeps his business accounts. They have multiple branches on every island."

"Thanks, Rebecca. Do you want to talk to Jake?"

"Nah, I'll leave you two to enjoy yourselves."

"Goodbye then, I love you."

"Love you too, talk to you soon." I hung up.

"What was that about?" Jake asked.

"I had an idea. How would you like to have a bank account that we almost never use?"

"Why would we want another bank account to keep track of?" he asked confused.

"Well I was thinking we could use the winnings to open a smell the roses account."

"Smell the roses?"

"Dad always had a separate bank account that he used to do nice things for people or take vacations. It's like a recreation account. He said you should always make sure to take the time to stop and smell the roses. For example, when I was a kid he took Mom to Ireland one summer as a stop and smell the roses experience. It can't ever be used for basic necessities unless it's for someone else who you love who is struggling and it can never be used for lending. There was a family at church who was struggling once and Dad took a couple thousand out of the roses account and sent it to the family as an anonymous money order."

"Wow. How much did he keep in this account? That's very generous."

"I don't know; I just know he put aside a little whenever he had extra money and it was a family tradition passed down from his mom."

"So you want to open a smell the roses account in a state that we don't even visit often." He chuckled.

"What better place to do it? That way we add to it online and we never draw out of it except for recreation. We could practically forget about it."

"Okay – it's your money to do with as you will."

"No, it's _our_ money to do with as _we_ will. _We_ got lucky last night," I emphasized.

"I didn't mean it like that, Nessie," he rushed to explain, obviously afraid that he had offended me. "I just meant you won it – now you get to spend it. I know that what's leftover is ours together. After the honeymoon all our accounts are getting linked anyway."

"I know what you meant, Jacob. I just want to make clear that everything that's mine is yours too. So does a roses account sound like a good idea to you or would you rather do something different?"

"No, this idea is perfect." He pulled me into his lap and kissed me. "We better get dressed for kayaking. We need to be ready to go from the ship at noon for that, but we can probably get off and quickly open an account when we land and then explore the town for a couple hours. Now I'm glad I had to bring the wedding certificate for the cruise to let you come aboard."

"What?"

"Yeah, anyone under twenty-one has to travel with a parent or legal guardian."

"Seriously? So that makes you my legal guardian? That's so weird."

"It's their rules, Babe, not mine. You're my equal in every way."

We got dressed in casual clothes, Teva hiking sandals, and sunglasses with swim suits on underneath; I wore my turquoise one since it was best suited for active use. We headed to our debarking point and waited in line to get off. We were both carrying backpacks which had compact high-tech travel towels. I was carrying the sunscreen and Jake's bag had the cash in it. Alice had really gone all out on our packing. We got directions to the bank and headed over there at a fair clip. We opened a money market savings account with checks and deposited twenty four thousand; we had decided to keep some cash on us for shopping in case some places didn't take credit. The bank immediately provided us with visa debit cards. I would be monitoring our spending to be sure we spent all but seventy-five hundred on our honeymoon. Darn me for setting such a high second ceiling, but now I could buy very nice souvenirs and gifts without using the black card attached to the trust.

We were done at the bank by nine thirty and then wandered the town and stopped at boutiques and open air markets. I found a nice one piece bathing suit that I would actually be willing to wear and bought it. It was a soft turquoise halter style. We bought silk Aloha shirts for all our close friends and family. I also bought twenty pounds of organic Kona coffee at over forty dollars a pound and a large hand woven straw bag to carry the shirts in since Jake insisted the coffee go in our back packs. I'd read about the coffee in the guidebook I grabbed on the boat and it was ranked the second best coffee in the world. I figured it was a good way to burn some money and buy gifts for our families. Jacob thought that purchase was crazy, but I made him try some at lunch and changed his mind. We ate early at a little cafe and I even tried the Kona coffee – still not a fan, but it was better than Starbucks, Jacob was happy to finish my coffee.

We headed back to the ship to leave our acquisitions and Jake took the sunscreen and towels as well as all my personal items in his bag so I wouldn't have to carry anything on our kayaking adventure. We met up with the guides at noon time and headed out. It was a wonderful kayaking trip and I couldn't believe how beautiful the island was. We got to swim and snorkel a bit as part of the trip and it was awesome. We saw lava tubes, sea caves and even some sea turtles.

We were driven back to the ship and then Jacob and I had to change out of our extremely casual attire for dinner. I decided tonight would be an ideal night for some of my lingerie – I would have to gauge Jacob's mood over the course of the evening to decide which lingerie. I had soft and silky for making love and hard core for straight out hard against the wall. I chose to wear a peach silk baby doll style tank top and a pair of skinny black cropped pants with peach strappy Jimmy Choo three and a half inch heels for dinner. Jake had changed into khaki pants and a white button up short sleeved shirt.

Jake apparently noticed I wasn't wearing a bra because he came up to me and ran his hands over my breasts when I came out of the bathroom.

"Are you trying to get me excited before dinner?" I teased.

"No, just checking to see if you had on that weird bra you wear sometimes with sexy shirts." I giggled at his reference to my silicone stick-on bra.

"I only wear that if we're going dancing and I need a strapless-backless bra. I prefer no bra in a shirt like this since it has one practically built in."

"You don't need one anyway your boobs are perfect."

I giggled, he usually referred to them as tits. "Glad to know you like them. You weren't planning on bringing us dancing tonight, right?"

"Nah, I'd rather not have you wearing that weird thing and we got a lot of exercise today. I was thinking we could go to the piano bar or the jazz lounge and just relax."

I raised an eyebrow, "Jazz or piano music?"

"Hey, I'm in the mood for something soft tonight. We don't have to listen to rock, pop, or clubbing music when we go out. I know your taste is more varied than mine and I'm just enjoying being with you. If last night had been an Italian opera I would have been happy because I was with you even if I didn't understand a moment of it."

"You're so sweet to me."

"Watch out you might get cavities from me," he teased.

"They'd be worth it. I love you."

"I love you too." He laid a soft kiss on my lips. We went to dinner. I had pasta with turkey and asparagus and Jake had the Cornish game hen with cherry sauce. We shared our meals as always. We went down to the piano bar and listened to the lounge singer and pianist perform music reminiscent of Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, and Nora Jones. She had a beautiful voice. By the end of our evening I had definitely decided that Jake was in the mood for soft love making tonight.

When we got back to the room we did our night routines and I grabbed a short silk slip and robe with lace trim. I changed in the bathroom and Jake was laying on the bed naked by the time I came out. I tossed my clothes in the closet and smiled when I saw him.

"You read my mind," I said with a small giggle as I laid down beside him.

"That's why we're such a perfect match." He pulled me in for a soft kiss. He slowly stripped me down and made soft love to me. I loved Jacob and I loved how he loved me. Sometimes he was rough and dominant while other times he was soft and tender.

He had always been careful not to let his dominant side out near me when I was growing up. I really only saw it on those days when he was protecting me. It was a hard fierce side that he was reluctant to let out with anyone. He let me catch glimpses of it through my life, but now I was beginning to see it more and more. I don't think anyone ever saw this side of Jacob, not even Bella. She knew he had a dominant side, but she told me she could never get him to let it out. She said he was basically putting on a show for her and giving her what she needed rather than truly embracing himself. I understood better after that night he explained his tattoo and spirit guide. There was a part of him that was led by the wolf spirit, but he was afraid of it. He was afraid of hurting someone by letting that part out; he had been warned that there was a level of volatility in himself and he saw that as harmful. I saw the nobility of that side of him. I saw him as my protector and my lover.

~*O*~

In the morning after our normal routines I was standing naked in front of the closet trying to figure out what to wear. We were going to church and then tubing.

"As much as I enjoy the view, I have to ask why are you standing there naked?" Jake asked as he wrapped his arms around me and skimmed his hands along my waist. He was already dressed in board shorts and a t-shirt.

"I'm having trouble deciding what to wear. I like to be dressed well for church, but then we're going tubing immediately after."

Jake chuckled, "God doesn't care what you wear just that you show up in his house. Well, we have to bring dry clothes to change into after tubing anyway so pick what you want for church and pack your swim suit and running shorts for the hike and tubing. I've already packed our towels, sunblock, and bug spray. But, Ness please don't make me look overly casual for church by going too ritzy on me; keep it casual please."

I tossed Jake a set of underwear and a bra to pack. "Pack those in your bag, please." I then tossed him a pair of my running shorts. "That too, please and thank you." He packed it while I put on my new swimsuit, some Bermuda jean shorts with a floral tie, and a black t-shirt. We headed out and he told me that we needed to keep an eye out for hats since we would be out in the sun a lot.

"Jake, how much was the car worth that we won?"

"Not sure exactly, but around ninety grand."

"And what do you think the cruise vouchers are worth?"

He mumbled something about a grand suite and shore excursions in Europe with first class airfare. Then said, "About ten grand, maybe twelve, maybe more."

I was doing the math in my head. "So the value of all our winnings is between one hundred twenty-five thousand and one hundred thirty thousand."

"Probably, why?"

"Well I was trying to figure out what we need to tithe and whether we want to do it here or at our church at home."

"Home," he said decisively.

"Why?"

"I'll tithe my normal weekly amount here, but I'd rather support our local churches than a church we're visiting once with that large a donation."

"Okay. So are we tithing from the trust for our winnings or from the winnings themselves?" I asked hopeful that he would choose to do it out of the winnings and make spending it down much easier.

"The trust. You're not getting out of spending the winnings that easily." He had read my mind; we both chuckled as we walked down the street. I saw hats and we each picked a hat for the other. We both looked a little goofy with our straw hats on, but we weren't here to impress anyone. We got to the church a little early and I told him about another family tradition that I'd never mentioned, because I had only been to a brand new church for him when my parents passed away and I was obviously distracted that day.

"Make a wish, Jake," I said as we stepped into the church. I wished that one day he would reconcile with his father.

"What?"

"Whenever I enter a new church I make a wish. It was Mom's tradition."

"I've known you for more than six years and in the last two days I've learned about two family traditions you've never mentioned before. Can I tell you my wish or is it like a birthday?"

"It's like a birthday you have to keep it secret or it won't come true."

It was a beautiful service and it included lot's of children. We left the church and headed back to the boat to meet the guide for our tubing experience.

~*O*~

Coming up:

"Well this way I can publicly stake my claim without looking possessive. Even though you and I know you're mine, now everyone around us knows too. You got a lot of attention when you stripped like that."

I felt my face flush. "Sorry. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal since we're in Hawaii and I had a swimsuit on, I figured people do it all the time."

"Nothing to apologize for. You're just so beautiful that people were going to look. If you'd walked out in that same outfit people would look, but when you stripped I could see men beginning to fantasize. So, I thought I'd redirect their attention to your scary looking husband."

"He is very big and hulking and I'm so safe with him. I'd never be afraid of him though."

"Yeah I know, but those guys were judging you based solely on your appearance so I thought I'd let them judge me the same way." I hugged him tightly.

~*O*~

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	22. A Collar

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17 for lemons. The content will touch on/explore BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes RARE Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship.**

Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s, BDSM, or DD lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual.

**Special thanks to my awesome beta Sawny94. This story is better because of your help. If you enjoy my story please check Sawny94 out she was one of my inspirations. You're awesome. I also owe thanks to another couple of Jake and Ness writers: TwilightCakes and Pemberly Rose for their assistance and feedback. If you haven't read Life in Technicolor by Pemberly Rose or Untouchable by TwilightCakes you should give them each a chance.**

My twitter: (at)Efficient_Vixen. I have also changed my FanFiction pen name.

**Extreme thanks to DazzledbyJake. She has only read one chapter of the story, thus far, but she has become one of my great twitter friends and with one request she took my concept and made me the most amazing crazy sexy BANNER – check out my profile for a link to the banner. **

Chapter Specific AN: 68 is not a typo, if you need a visual you'll be on your own to Google it.

**Other news** – **Our Deliverance **will take a bit longer to update than I had originally expected. It was accept by PTB and is in their hands now. **Chapter 2** of **Toe to Toe** has now been thoroughly revised and you can read it like an outtake Just go back to chapter 2. It includes a **hot Dom/sub threesome** between Jake, Bella, and Edward and more insight into Jake's character.

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyer – I am just playing in her world for a while. Song lyrics are the property of their respective authors.**

Conversation has a time and place  
In the interaction of a lover and a mate,  
But the time of talking, using symbols, using words  
Can be likened to a deep sea diver who is swimming with a raincoat 

_I Want You, _Savage Garden

Chapter 22: A Collar

We had a few minutes before the tour so I grabbed my running shorts from Jake and changed on the dock. Jake wasn't even phased by me changing in public since I had a swim suit on and we were in Hawaii. When I was in just my shorts and bathing suit he offered to rub sunscreen in again. I hadn't even realized it was already time to reapply. I had developed a light tan, but I was _very_ heavily freckled from all the sun exposure even with all the sunscreen. Jake's skin had darkened just a bit and he was using a lighter strength sunblock most days. Today we were both using mine to keep things easy.

"I'm so jealous of your skin right now."

He chuckled. "Why's that, my Nessie?" He playfully dabbed a dollop of sunblock on my nose.

He gently rubbed the sunblock onto my face. "You barely have to worry about the sun and you just get slightly darker. Your skin is always beautiful. If I didn't put on all this sunblock I would be red as a lobster and blistered. I could stay out in the sun for hours and I'll never get dark – I just burn or get freckles."

"Your freckles are adorable. You're always so beautiful. Besides I love the chance to touch you with a socially acceptable reason." He grinned.

"Oh please! Like you need a reason to touch me." I rolled my eyes in mock annoyance, then covered my mouth to hide my smile.

His hand splayed along my lower back and he pulled me in bringing our hips together. "Well this way I can publicly stake my claim without looking like a possessive asshole. Even though you and I know you're mine, now everyone around us knows too. You got a lot of attention when you stripped like that."

I felt my face flush at the idea that people were watching me. "Sorry. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal since we're in Hawaii and I had a swimsuit on, I figured people do it all the time."

"Nothing to apologize for. You're just so beautiful that people are always going to look. If you'd walked out in that same outfit people would look, but when you stripped I could see men beginning to fantasize. So, I thought I'd redirect their attention to your scary looking husband."

"He is very big and strong and I'm so safe with him. I'd never be afraid of him though."

"Yeah I know, but those guys were judging you based solely on your appearance so I thought I'd let them judge me the same way." I hugged him tightly.

We got on the bus and headed off to the tubing adventure. I was glad Jake and I wore the same shoes we had the day before because we didn't need to wear used shoes and they probably wouldn't have had Jake's size. They gave us head lamps and gloves and we sprayed on bug spray. We got in our tubes and had a blast we went down flumes and through tunnels and irrigation ditches all of which were hand dug in the late 1800s. It was an awesome experience and when we got to the base of the mountain we went swimming and had a picnic. We changed into our dry stuff before we got back on the bus and headed back.

~*O*~

On the way back I asked Jake if we had plans for the night. He said he thought a show in the main theater would be fun and that we had dinner reservations at the steakhouse before that. I told him I needed to do laundry either tonight or tomorrow morning with all the water adventures he had planned I definitely needed to wash our super towels and swimsuits. He told me that the hike the next day would be a much harder workout and that we should skip our run and do laundry in the early morning. Which meant our swimwear wouldn't have time to dry before we had to leave in the morning. When we got back to the boat I immediately went and purchased myself two more durable halter bikinis and I got Jake two pairs of board shorts.

Jake reminded me that it wasn't a formal night and I needed to save my last elegant outfit for Wednesday evening. I asked what he was wearing and he said the brown suit Alice had sent. I decided to wear a purple ankle length linen dress with matching suede four and a half inch pumps and a purple suede handbag. I wore purple eyeshadow and light pink lip gloss. I didn't bother with stockings since I wanted to feel casual even in a long dress. I did wear a purple push up bra and thong. I still hadn't figured out how or when to work in my more extreme lingerie, but it might have to wait until we got home.

We ate at the steakhouse and did indeed both order the surf and turf. Maine Lobster was definitely becoming a guilty pleasure for us. We would never buy it at home at $125 a pound. We could always visit Maine at some point with our smell the roses money. That could be a lot of fun.

We headed to the theater and the show involved five young men tap dancing on metal and ladders and using hand and power tools. There were a lot of sparks flying. I asked Jake what tools they were using and he said welders, grinders, plasma cutters, hammers, wrenches, and saws. It was an amazing show and I figured tonight would be the ideal night for my leather and chain outfit.

When we got to the room we did our night routines and Jake was just in his boxers but I still had on my dress. Just before bed I told Jake he had to either go in the bathroom or out to the balcony I would let him know when I was ready; there was no way I was going to be able to sneak past him with the chain lingerie. I closed the curtains tightly and then got changed. I slipped into the vest and tightened the collar around my neck and then I stepped into the matching thong.

I looked in the mirror. I felt ridiculous. _I don't think I can do this._ I almost grabbed my phone to have Bella talk me out of my mini panic attack, but realized that it was after one am in Washington and the person who could actually make me feel better was standing outside on the balcony waiting patiently for me to open the door. Taking a deep calming breath, I grabbed one of the cruise line bathrobes and tied it firmly around my waist. I even managed to cover the black leather collar with the robe. I needed Jake to work me through this. I couldn't just open the door and have him see me like this when I was feeling so utterly silly.

When I was sure the robe was sufficiently secured I went to the door and opened it. I stood there clutching the robe. Jake looked at me and immediately knew something was wrong; his face changed from happy anticipation to serious concern.

"What's wrong?" He asked gently.

He approached me to hug me, but I was worried he would feel the chains so I backed away.

He froze just inside the doorway. "Renesmee, tell me what's wrong." His tone was more demanding, but also very concerned.

I never rejected Jacob; I instantly felt worse for making him worry. "I'm just being stupid I'm not ready for you to see what I'm wearing. I thought I was, but I'm not. I need you to help me work through it."

"Well, sweetheart," he said gently, "either I can step back out side and let you take off whatever you're embarrassed about or you can let me hold you and work you through this."

I wanted to let him hold me, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him that.

He took a deep breath and spoke again less gently more commanding, "We aren't going to have this conversation at arms length with you in a bathrobe. Either put on something you're more comfortable in or let me hold you. I'm not doing a toe to toe on our honeymoon. Your choice."

He waited. I couldn't decide which I would rather do; I was still too panicked.

He spoke softly after a few minutes that felt like forever, "Okay, Nessie, you obviously don't even feel safe with me about this. I'm going to step back out to the balcony. Please take whatever is embarrassing you off and throw it away. I don't want to see anything that makes you so uncomfortable that you're putting up walls with me. We'll talk when you're ready. I'm right out here." He stepped out to the balcony and leaned out over the rail.

My heart jumped as he turned from me, his disappointment was palpable. "Wait, Jake! Just hold me. I need you."

He turned and took three broad strides to me and hugged me tightly. He didn't even comment on the chinking sound or the chains that I knew he could feel through the robe. He just held me. He didn't say anything; he just held me tightly.

"Thank you," I finally said after several minutes.

"It's my job. You don't need to thank me," he murmured softly.

"Who bought it?" He asked gently after a few more minutes of silence.

"Rose."

"And who packed it?"

"Alice."

"And who are the people who are most likely to push you into something you're not ready for?"

I didn't answer. I didn't think they'd ever pushed me toward anything I wasn't ready for.

"Nessie, would you have gotten the bikini wax without their insistence?" 

_Oh that._ I shook my head.

"Okay, so who are the people most likely to push your boundaries?" he asked, his tone was soft and gentle, but also stern and demanding.

"Rose and Alice," I whispered.

"And we love them both very much, but they don't understand you like I do. Sometimes _you_ don't understand yourself like I do." He kissed the top of my head. "I swear to you Renesmee Carlie Black there is nothing under this robe that could make me see you as less than the wonderful woman I married. You are a strong brave woman and I'm proud to call you my wife."

I untied the robe and took a small step back so I wasn't pressed so close to him. I slipped the robe off. "You can look, Jake."

He took a quick glance down, but then snapped his eyes back to mine. The look was so fast that had I blinked I would have missed it.

"You hate it," I stated, flatly. It was a fact. I knew Jacob's face as well as he knew mine.

JPOV

The love of my existence was standing before me in a web of chains and a leather collar. She didn't understand the significance of these symbols of bondage. I was livid. _There was so much to process. I was fucking corrupting my girl, but not guiding her. She needed to talk to me before trying this shit again. She needed guidance and it was clear I couldn't trust anyone else to provide it for her. This was not submissive behavior. _I was pissed at myself for giving her a tiny introduction to the scene, but never laying out any expectations. If she wanted to be bound and collared she needed to talk to me about that – it was my place as the dominant partner to choose and place any bondage.

I was so fucking jealous that she was wearing chains and a collar given to her by someone else, that I couldn't think straight. I needed a minute to process this. _Why would she think that I would ever want her in chains? Chains weren't a turn on for me. Then again how the fuck would she know that?_ I never told her what my likes and dislikes were in terms of bondage; I gave her a clinical explanation and nothing more. _ This was my fault. _ I was supposed to have a year to get her accustomed to some of this stuff, but we'd been married less than two weeks and already she was pushing for it.

There was another part of me that recognized just how glorious she could be bound for my pleasure. If only she'd let me know she wanted this, then I would have tied her up and given her so much fucking pleasure she'd be begging to do it again. Unfortunately my rage was preventing me from feeling any arousal at her obvious love and vulnerability.

I needed to carefully explain everything to her especially the meaning of a collar and I needed to tell her since she had yet to stand up to Rose that I would be having a serious conversation with her to let her know to stop interfering with my wife.

"You hate it." Ness was trying to hide her sadness. I rubbed her back to try and soothe her.

I had to be honest. I would never lie to her, not even to make her feel better. "Yes, but not for the reasons you think. I need to get it off you now, but I don't really want to look at it. I don't want you to feel bad Nessie. This is my issue not yours." I was an intensely visual person and I needed to not look at her in it. I closed my eyes and started feeling her neck. I searched the collar with my fingertips until I figured out how it worked and undid it. "Can you take the top off or is there something else that needs to be undone?"

"I can take it off, Jacob," she answered, and I heard her suppress a tiny sob. I knew she felt rejected and the situation was delicate before I saw the outfit now it was like trying to drill through auto glass without having the window burst into tiny fragments.

"Please take both pieces off and put them somewhere I can't see them." I heard them drop roughly into something metallic, probably the trash can. "May I open my eyes, Ness?"

She sniffled. "Give me one second, I need to put something else on. Right now I can't be naked. I'm sorry."

I really needed to make her feel better. "It's not your fault, Baby. I'm the one who needs to be sorry, but whatever you need you get, okay?"

"You can open your eyes now."

She was in one of my dirty shirts. I walked over and lifted her up and kissed her hard. "I love you so much, Nessie. I need to explain myself, but first I need to know if you want me to do this toe to toe style. What I said earlier no longer applies. I will do whatever makes you most comfortable."

"I just need you to hold me, Jake," her voice broke as she spoke. "We can be wherever you want, but I need to be in your arms. I agree with you. We shouldn't do a toe to toe on our honeymoon unless there is no other way to resolve this."

"Okay, Babe. Do you prefer the bed, the couch, or the balcony? I don't care. I just want to make you more comfortable."

"Couch." I picked her up and brought us to the couch then sat with her settled in my lap.

"I'm so sorry that I made you feel bad. I know I have a lot of explaining to do right now. Earlier I said sometimes I know you better than you know yourself sometimes. I believe this is one of those times, but I don't want to risk your feelings getting hurt anymore tonight so do you mind telling me what about that outfit specifically made you uncomfortable?" I needed to know whether she thought I wouldn't like it or if she herself didn't like it.

She leaned her head against my chest. She spoke in a small, hesitant voice, "I looked at myself in the mirror and felt ridiculous in it – like I was pretending to be someone I wasn't. I almost called Bella to help me get over my feeling of panic, but then realized it was after one in Seattle and that you were the only person who would be able to make me feel better and you were just on the other side of the door."

"Well part of me is glad you didn't call her and instead reached out to me and another part wishes you had called her because she would have told you to take that outfit off if she knew you had it on. I wish I had asked her to oversee Alice on the packing. Alice and Rose don't know about that side of my life so they thought they were being playful when they packed that stuff. You know, but you couldn't understand the symbolism of what you had on since we hadn't ever talked about collaring beyond my references to Bella. Bella never would have put that in your bag for our honeymoon because she understands the symbolism."

"But..." she didn't finish her thought.

I waited.

After another minute I asked, "But, what?"

"But, Bella knew about all the lingerie – she was at the party when I got it."

"And she didn't warn you about that piece?" I was shocked. Bella should have at least warned her about what a collar symbolized.

"No."

_I can't believe this shit. Bella should have warned her. _"Well then – she and Rose are in for an earful when we get home."

"It's not their faults. I put it on because I thought it would be nice after the tap show."

"I'm giving Rose shit because she needs to stop pushing you. You're my wife, Nessie, and I'm not going to tolerate her continued interference in our marriage. Bella's not getting shit about you wearing it – she's getting shit about her promise to be an unofficial mentor to you and not at least giving you a heads up about that," I stated angrily.

_I was getting off track._ _Make Nessie feel better, dumb ass; don't talk about other prople._ I softened my tone before continuing, "Anyway it's beside the point. This is about you and me. First, let me say you could wear a trash bag and I would find you beautiful and sexy, but I would not find the trash bag to be either beautiful or sexy. My reaction tonight was to the outfit not to you. Do you understand that?"

"Yeah, but I still feel horrible."

"I know it feels like rejection regardless. You made yourself vulnerable before me and I didn't have a good reaction and I'm sorry for that. There were two things I saw that I found incredibly beautiful: first you wore it because you believed I would like it and second you dropped the robe even though you felt scared. You are always beautiful inside and out. Wearing that doesn't diminish or improve your beauty nothing you could wear could do that." I hugged her tightly. "I'm so sorry for making you feel bad."

"I forgive you. I just already felt ridiculous and I then realized you hated it and it made me even sadder."

"You didn't look ridiculous. If I had been able to separate my brain and my heart I would have found it incredibly sexy. Definitely not ridiculous."

"Separate your brain from your heart?" she asked, confused.

"Nessie, before I answer that I need to know how you feel." Baring my feelings to her might make her feel more rejected. I needed her to feel safe and loved before I told her about my gut reaction.

"I'm sad, but I understand logically that you still find me sexy and beautiful. My emotions are a bit rawer – emotionally I feel like I just got thousands of paper cuts and then put in a bath of lemon juice."

"That sounds awful. I'm so, so sorry."

"It's okay. I forgive you, but can we get on with this. I know you're holding back trying to make me feel better and I think we need to use the band-aid approach right now. I'd rather feel like I was in a stronger acid bath for a shorter time than draw this out over hours so you can feel like I'm ready to hear what you need to say."

"You certainly know what I'm thinking now. Are you sure?"

"Yep. Give it to me fast and harsh and get it over with."

Fast I could do, but I'd try not to be harsh. "I love that you wanted to wear lingerie specifically for me, but I need you to understand what that particular outfit symbolizes to me and how I felt when I saw you in it. You remember our discussion about BDSM and how I wanted to wait for at least a year?"

She nodded.

"While you were standing there in a collar and chains, you didn't really understand what those things meant to me, but they are definitely symbols of bondage. I won't have you in anything remotely resembling bondage unless we have a negotiated contract with clearly defined limits and safe words and I do the binding. It fucked me up to see you like that. Physically you were gorgeous. Psychologically though, I couldn't handle seeing you in a collar yet. I'm actually concerned now that I won't be able to ever see you like that. If tonight's reaction is an indicator then we're not going to be able to do a lot of what I define as BDSM," I informed her sadly.

"I'm sorry I reacted badly." Her face was full of guilt.

I needed her to understand that this wasn't her fault. "No, Nessie. Not your reaction. Mine. I don't think I can handle you in bondage or wearing a collar."

"How did it make you feel?" she asked the question I was tiptoeing around to avoid hurting her.

I hesitated, trying to come up with a way to be honest without being cruel.

"Jake, just tell me the truth. Don't sugar coat it," she pleaded.

"It's bad, Baby. I don't want you to feel worse."

"I _need_ you to be _totally blatantly honest_ with me. Rip the band-aid off _now_!" she demanded.

I took a deep breath and told her the truth, "I was physically turned off by the idea of you in a collar or chains, but I was also angry and jealous that they weren't put there by me. I'm still confused about my feelings, but that's how I felt."

"How turned off? Like you would need me to work you up to an erection?" she asked, sadly. Her lip quivered a bit.

"Like I wouldn't be able to get hard even with a blow job."

"Wow. That bad?" She was obviously surprised.

"Yeah." I hugged her tighter, trying to make it clear I still loved and wanted her/

"But – the videos of you and Bella..." she trailed off.

I knew this was coming. _How could I handle her sister in bondage if I couldn't handle seeing my wife in bondage?_

"I told you before – I feel differently with you. I never for one second considered the implications of a collar beyond the emotional meaning with Bella. I didn't collar her, you know that, but I didn't because she wasn't prepared to love and accept me as I was. I couldn't be my whole self with her. Because of that I wasn't okay with collaring her, but never once did I consider the deeper meaning of a collar. With you I am my whole self for that reason until today I thought I would be able to have a real Dom/sub relationship with you. I honestly believed eventually you would wear my collar and call me Master during play times. As soon as I saw you all I could think of was how wrong it was. I couldn't stop thinking about what it would mean on a deeper level. I could never allow you to be my slave. I could never use you purely for my own enjoyment. I could never humiliate you. There's nothing wrong with people who can do that in a loving relationship, but I realized today that I can't have you collared like a slave. I respect you too much to do that – the very idea of it makes me sick. I'm so sorry that I can't do that for you." _Edward was wrong; I couldn't be what she needed._

She pulled out of my embrace and repositioned herself so she was straddling my lap and facing me. I was just watching a spot on her shirt; I didn't think I could handle seeing her disappointment at that moment.

She took my face in her hands and tried to gently pull my gaze to her face. I didn't move my head.

"Jake, please look at me." Her tone was gentle, but demanding.

I lifted my face. She didn't seem disappointed at all. All I saw was love.

"Jacob, you're mine and I'm yours. There is nothing to apologize for. I didn't feel right in that collar and you didn't like it. There is something to be said for both of us having similar reactions and trying for the sake of the other to get past our own issues. I love you as you are and I've seen parts of you that no one else has." She moved her lips to mine and kissed me softly. It was long kiss filled with pure love. She pulled back.

"I love you too, Nessie."

"Are you okay with telling me about the jealousy and anger? I need to understand."

"Yeah, of course. What I just told you was the hardest part for me. I was really worried about hurting or disappointing you."

"I'm not hurt or disappointed. Please tell me," she said gently.

"So I need to start by explaining the emotional significance of collars in the scene." Otherwise she wouldn't understand. "There are three levels of collars, but most people have taken to combining the first and second levels. The first level is a consideration collar it's sort of the equivalent of declaring yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend; the relationship is more than casual, but not serious yet; you have some loyalty to your partner, but the relationship is still exploratory. The second level is the training collar it's the equivalent of an engagement; the relationship is long-term and serious. The final level is the formal collar which is equivalent to a wedding and often involves a permanent mark and a ceremony with guests. Do you understand all that?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, so when you wear a collar that wasn't placed on you by your partner there are two ways to generally interpret it – neither of which were the meaning in your case. Either you're pretending – which is seen as an insult to people in the lifestyle or you have a new partner – which was why even though it was totally irrational I felt a surge of jealousy. In your case you didn't know any better and were trying to be sexy. I knew that, but I still was angry that you were wearing Rose's collar. I'm sure she and Alice were trying to be playful when they gave it to you, but since they don't live the lifestyle they had no idea that they were in fact insulting us when they gave it to you. Bella should have said something to you or me; that was why I was so pissed at her. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry." Her eyes were welling up with tears.

I rubbed her back and kissed her gently on the forehead. "Like I said earlier you have nothing to apologize for you didn't know. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, but does this mean I can't explore the scene next year?"

She was concerned; I knew there was a part of my girl that liked a little kink.

"No, we can still explore it together, in a year like we agreed. I just have realized that collaring you may be on my list of hard limits. Sorry, Baby, I just know what I can handle and having you collared might not be something I can live with."

"I'm okay with that. I really did feel silly in it. I didn't like that collar, but I don't think you would ever pick anything quite so extreme for me. Maybe I should just trust in you to decide if that should be something we do and let you choose something if and when the time comes."

I could live with that. I nodded in agreement. I had one more thing I needed to say before we could move on. "So is there any other questionable lingerie? I don't ever want a repeat of tonight. I hated that you wouldn't let me hold you when you were so upset."

"Sorry about that. I just was worried about how you would react when you felt the chains."

"You're already forgiven. However, you didn't answer my question, Mrs. Black," I said, finally feeling like I could smile for the first time since entering the room.

"Yeah, I have some pretty racy stuff. Come to the dresser and we'll go through each piece together. It takes away the surprise, but I don't want a repeat of tonight either."

She got up and I knelt beside her on the floor in front of the dresser. She pulled out the lingerie piece by piece. She started with the two other leather pieces Rose had purchased. One was a red corset and thong and one was a black open cup bustier and thong with front zippers. I said both were fine, but asked her to wait until we were home to wear them. I wanted the rest of the honeymoon to be about making her feel good and loving her softly. I would not fuck her again until we got home. Those were definitely outfits for fucking, not making love.

She then moved onto two black strappy teddies. They reminded me too much of bondage and I wasn't willing to risk her feeling rejected again while we were on our honeymoon. I wanted to see how I'd react when we got home so I told her to save those for home too. I couldn't be sure if it was just the collar or if all forms of bondage would repulse me with Nessie. I didn't like not knowing, but I did know I needed to talk to Edward about it. He would be able to help me work through my issues. I didn't want all bondage to be a hard limit, but there was the chance I couldn't handle the idea of her being restrained. I felt like I was back in training. It was disorienting. It was like every limit I had changed in the moment I saw her in a collar.

She then got to her softer pieces. They were all fine with me and the sight of some made me get hard immediately. She had a black drape neck backless piece with an attached mini skirt that some women would consider appropriate to wear to a club. She had a soft pink sheer lace neglige, a blue satin and black lace neglige, a long white satin and sheer neglige, a white halter top sheer baby doll, and a white open cup sheer baby doll. She said the remainder were just bra and panty sets and one other set that she knew was safe and she was saving for our formal night.

"Nessie, I love you so much and I'm so sorry to put you in this situation." I hugged her. I was about to ask her to give me even more control. "Normally, I would trust your taste in clothing implicitly, but I feel like we are both a bit sensitive right now. May I please go through your clothes and shoes, as well? I know you have some very edgy stuff that normally turns me on immensely, but I feel like I just had a shift in my universe and I need to avoid anything that will remind me of tonight for the rest of the honeymoon."

She nodded and went and grabbed a suitcase to put away the items we decided against.

"Thank you, Nessie."

She started packing the lingerie I had asked her to just bring home as I looked through her side of the closet. I pulled out one mini navy dress with straps crossing it; it was beautiful and sexy and she would have looked hot as hell in it, but I was gun shy after tonight. I would wait until we were home to see her in that. I also removed four pairs of fuck me heels: one navy strappy set that went with the dress, one set of brown caged sandal boots, her black strappy heels she wore the other night and an identical pair in red.

"I'm sorry if I ruined any of your outfit plans by removing all of these shoes and the dress," I apologized.

"It's not a big deal. I've been doing laundry and two pairs of heels were for wearing with the lingerie you've already decided against. The dress you pulled out was a little short for me anyway and you pulled out the matching heels as well. The brown shoes are just so I would have options with my outfits, but I have other neutral pairs I can use just as easily. I take it based on what you've removed I shouldn't wear fishnets either, right?"

"Yeah, that wouldn't be a good idea. Sorry, Babe."

"Not a big deal, Jake. Now, I don't have to add garter straps to my lingerie on the last formal evening. Alice gave me a set of instructions on how to add the garter straps since the corset wasn't designed for them. It looked like it would be a real pain to do it so it actually saves me a hassle." She pulled a pair of beige fishnets out of her drawer and several blue ribbons.

I knew we needed a distraction after all that – so, when she was done packing I asked if she wanted to go up to the hot tub since it was open for another hour. She agreed. We got changed and headed upstairs. In the whirlpool she was straddling me and rubbing my shoulders and I was holding onto her waist and rubbing her back.

She kissed my ear and said, "Jake – I know you planned not to have anything to drink on the cruise, but I think it would help you relax. I don't mind."

"I'm not drinking without you, Nessie," I said as I kissed her neck softly.

"Why don't we use the minibar then – no one needs to know it wasn't all you," she whispered softly.

"What do you want?"

"Well I was thinking we could buy some Cherry Coke by the bottle up here and then we could use the mini bottles downstairs to spike it."

"That sounds awesome. Let's dry off and head over to the bar to get Cherry Coke."

I walked over to the bar and asked if he had Cherry Coke by the can or bottle.

"Nope, but I have six packs of regular Coke and I have grenadine syrup he answered."

"Can I buy a whole bottle of Grenadine?" I asked. His eyebrows wrinkled. "I'm bringing it to my room."

"Let me check the computer to see if I have a price for that or if I have to sell it by the ounce." He tapped the screen several times. "Wow – apparently I can sell you a whole bottle. It's twelve bucks."

"I'll take it and a six pack of coke. Can I get a cooler with that and some ice too?"

"Sure. The coke is usually sold with a cooler anyway. Do you want me to fill the cooler with ice or put the coke in there and then fill it with ice?"

"Fill the cooler with ice." He got our stuff together. I thanked him and signed for the purchase. Nessie took the grenadine while I carried the rest to our room. We sat out on the balcony.

I poured us each a glass of coke with grenadine and then I grabbed us each a nip bottle of vodka. I used my whole nip and Ness was about to dump hers in when I stopped her. "Please taste mine first, Ness. You might want to go a bit weaker." I handed her my glass as I sat down facing her. She tasted it.

"No that's good." She handed me the glass back and dumped her nip then added more grenadine after she tasted it. "I just need a bit more syrup in mine – I like the cherry flavor." She licked her lips.

Something about her saying that made me remember popping her cherry. I smiled lightly while sipping my drink.

"What are you thinking, my Jacob." I'd been caught. She knew my face.

I chuckled. "I enjoy _cherry_ flavor too. Hard to believe it was just ten nights ago when I popped yours." She blushed. I stroked her cheek. "I love you so much, my Nessie."

"As I love you, my Jacob." We finished our drinks slowly while we lightly caressed and kissed each other. We were both being very soft. I set our glasses on the table when we finished.

I kissed her softly and then said, "I need you, my Nessie."

She sighed contentedly and whispered, "I know." She laid light kisses on my neck and shoulders while I experienced a sudden epiphany.

It wasn't what I expected her to say, but the statement stirred something deep inside me. She knew. She knew me. She knew me intimately. She knew my heart. She knew my soul. She knew my mind. She knew my body. She knew me in ways no one else ever would or could. And the more amazing realization: I knew her in exactly the same way. It wasn't about sex; it was about intimacy. The interpretation of 'knowing in the biblical sense' had been corrupted to mean sex, but it was so much more than that. It was understanding and loving someone in such a profound way that you had no choice, but to be what they needed. It was what I had always wanted, what I had searched for with Bella, but was never able to achieve. I had found it with my Nessie, my soul mate.

I suddenly watched my life since I had met her roll through my mind filtered with this new knowledge. She had saved my soul by needing someone to walk with her. I would never have returned to the church if she hadn't needed me to. She had given me the courage to do the right thing and leave Bella and she didn't even know it. She had inadvertently ended my relationships with both girls I dated after Bella by needing a savior.

She had waited for me. She was always mine from the moment we met. She was waiting for me to know her as she had always known me. Neither of us understood the grand plan, but we understood and loved each other.

Suddenly the events of tonight filtered through my consciousness and I understood. She knew the minute she saw the outfit that I wouldn't like it so she became uncomfortable and instead of trusting her knowledge of me she tried to overcome her fears. I knew her as well and when I saw her face I knew she needed me. I knew when she backed away that I couldn't push her. I knew the only way to work her through it was to give her space and I fought my instinct to do that because I wanted so badly to comfort her. When I finally gave her the space she needed she let me in immediately. The mistakes we were making were because we weren't trusting our instincts. She knew me better than I knew myself and I knew her in the same way. Suddenly, the collar and bondage concerns were irrelevant. If I told her to trust her first instinct with me then she would never push me beyond what I could handle. I had to do the same and trust my instincts with her; trust that I knew her well enough to always do what was right by her.

I came back to reality and she was laying soft kisses on my abdominal muscles. I was so distracted that I hadn't realize she was working her way downward. She was kneeling between my legs.

"Not tonight, Nessie," I said happily.

Her eyes snapped up to me and I could see confusion. She didn't understand why I let her get that far and then suddenly changed my mind.

I chuckled happily as I pulled her to my lap. "Baby, I'm sorry I was distracted, but I just had the most amazing epiphany and I'll tell you all about it later. I want you to always trust your instincts with me and I'll do the same. That's what we fucked up today. We knew what the other wanted and needed, but we didn't trust our guts." I kissed her softly. "Now – let me bring you to bed and make sweet love to you."

She giggled and nodded.

I picked her up and carried her to bed. I was soft and tender with her. I concentrated on her eyes while I made love to her and all I saw was pure and utter love. We were quiet. Only the softest sounds escaped us and whispers. We cuddled between rounds while both our bodies recovered and I told her about my epiphany. She understood. We made love three times and didn't even realize we hadn't slept until the alarm went off as we were cuddling and caressing.

That was the first morning in all the time that I had known Nessie that she said her prayers naked in the morning. I expected her to get up and put on clothes, but she just reached over to the side table and grabbed her Rosary. I waited until we were doing laundry to ask her about it. We had eaten, put the regular clothes in for washing, and showered. She was in a bikini washing the delicate items by hand in the bath tub.

"Baby, why didn't you feel the need to wear clothes while you prayed this morning? You never pray naked."

"Last night was incredibly spiritual for me and yesterday at church we had that conversation about guilt and I realized that I have nothing to fear from praying naked. It was magical and part of me didn't want to break the spell by getting out of bed."

"I love you, Nessie. Thank you for all you do." I knelt down behind her and held her waist while she continued to wash clothes. I kissed her neck gently.

"Thank you for helping me get over my fears and then for telling me about your realization about knowing each other. I love you too."

"Do you need me to do anything?"

"Yeah, I'm going to hand you things after I have rinsed them. _Squeeze_ the water out _gently_ – do _not_ wring, twist, or stretch them and then you can hang things on the line." We went through this process with everything she was washing.

When I was done I realized there were several items missing that I knew she didn't put in the washer.

"Hey Ness, where are the rest of the clothes?"

She rolled her eyes while she stood up after draining the tub and rinsing her arms. "In the washing machine which we should go switch now." She threw on a pair of short jean shorts and a purple tank top and I tossed a black t-shirt on top of my board shorts.

I replied while getting dressed. "No – I mean the things like your dresses and your black wrap and your peach top you were wearing the other day. I know those didn't go in the washing machine."

She giggled and looked at me with wide eyes like she thought I was joking. "Jacob, those items all have silk in them." We left the room.

"So do the stockings and the white nightgown and robe you wore to bed a couple nights ago."

"I'm surprised you pay that much attention to my clothes to know what materials they are." She said as we got to the laundry room and she started putting our clothes in two dryers which she set to low.

"Well, I can tell from the feel more than the look. Sometimes the fabrics look almost identical, but when you wear silk I can feel and smell the difference compared to other fabrics that look like silk."

"You can smell a difference between silk and other fabrics?"

"Yeah, it's a really subtle scent, but there's a difference. I can't describe it in any other way than to say it smells like silk. It took me years to figure out what the smell was I just thought it was Esme's personal scent."

She giggled.

"When Alice moved in with the Cullens, I noticed she had that same scent a lot. I thought it was a special perfume that the Cullen women wore. Bella never wore silk so I never smelled it on her and no one in my family or tribe wore it either. Eventually, I figured out it was silk. You wear it a lot, especially to bed."

We headed back to the room and she pulled out three shirts from the closet. She pulled each to her nose and took a deep breath. "I think you're right, but it is extremely subtle. Close your eyes and I'm going to let you smell these without touching them. Tell me if each is silk."

I closed my eyed and she told me to inhale.

"Silk." I replied. We repeated the exercise twice more and I identified one as silk and one as not silk.

"You really can tell the difference purely from the scent," she stated amazed. I chuckled and opened my eyes.

"I would never lie to you, Nessie."

"Well, do you like silk?"

"Well – yeah," I stated obviously.

"What do you like about it?"

Moving closer I let my fingers skim up her bare arm. "Everything. I love watching it glide across your skin like water especially your nipples as they harden." My fingers trailed down her neck, sliding down her chest, and resting on her hip. "I love the feel of it between our skin." I pulled her body to mine, burying my face in her fragrant hair. "I love the smell of it mixed with your unique lavender and vanilla scent." I felt myself harden with desire, even after a night of uninterrupted sex my need for her was still overwhelming.

She bit her lip as I spoke. "Jacob," she whimpered. She was definitely getting turned on.

Both my hands gripped her ass, pushing her into my arousal, letting her know how much I wanted her. I whispered huskily in her ear, "What, Nessie?"

Picking her up, my mouth claimed hers, and I set her down so my thigh was pressed against her center.

She rubbed against my leg. "This is my last clean swimsuit," she murmured.

I grinned wickedly. "Correction: it _was_ your last clean swim suit. It definitely won't be clean when I'm done with you."

Nessie pouted, adorably. I could tell her resolve to resist me was wavering. "Jacob, we were up all night and we have an eight hour hike today." I knew she wanted it despite her words.

She circled her hips seeking the friction that would bring her release. Her soft movement brought her own thigh up to brush against my cock, and I groaned. As much as I wanted to be buried balls deep inside her, I knew we couldn't do that before such a long hike. I still wanted to watch her, to bring her pleasure, so I ground out, "Let me do the work. You relax and enjoy yourself while I make you cum." I flexed my quad against her pussy, bringing a moan from her lips.

"The shower is full of clothes. We can't take a shower after," she whispered.

My teeth grazed her ear, biting down and tugging the flesh. I could hear her sharp intake of breath. I chuckled, "Little late to worry about that now and that's why God created wash clothes."

She moaned. Then, grasping for straws she asked, "What about the clothes in the dryer?"

I looked at my watch. "We have about twenty-five minutes before the dryers stop. That's plenty of time for me to get you to cum two or three times," I boasted.

"What about you?"

"You relax and let me do the work and I'll be perfect."

"Jake, I like to make you cum too," she whined. It was adorable.

"Now you're just making excuses. Either you're too tired to make me cum or you're not, Nessie. We're wasting precious time, Baby." I unbuttoned her shorts and kept flexing my quad that she was now bearing all her weight against to try and get more friction.

She put her hands on my drawstring.

"Nah-uh," I said playfully. "I don't want you to be too tired to hike today. I'm doing the work," My hands slipped under her bikini, massaging her bare, firm globes and pressed her hard against my leg. "Are you going to let me do this or are we both going to be insanely frustrated all day?"

She panted, "I just don't want to feel like I'm using you. I want to make you to cum too."

I kept her moving against me. "Don't worry; I will, after. I can get myself off in under five minutes."

She looked startled. "What? I thought – wait – how are you going to make me cum?"

"I'll use my tongue and teeth to get you nice and wet. Then when you can't stand it any more I'll nibble and suck on your clit and finger your hungry little pussy." I increased the speed her hips were moving against me.

She moaned and then gasped out, "I want you... I want your cock inside me... Please... Why can't you just make love to me and get us both off that way?"

"We don't have time to make love and I decided yesterday that I'm not fucking you again until we get home. So, I can't give you a quickie, Baby." I pushed her shorts and bikini bottoms down, leaving them bunched around her thighs.

"Then let me get you off?"

"No Baby. We're running out of time, you aren't going to be able to get me off as fast I can. You have less than nine months experience – I have fourteen years." I slipped my thumb to her front and started rubbing her clit. "Let me do this, Nessie, or stop me now."

"O-kay," she moaned, but I could see a determined glint in her eyes.

I moved my leg and set her down so I could pull her shorts the rest of the way off. "Just relax and trust me," I warned her. "This isn't something we've done before, but you'll enjoy it immensely if you relax." I was about to put her in a 68 position so she needed to be warned. I removed her shorts and shirt and pulled the knot out on her bikini top. I quickly stripped out of my clothes since I knew she would enjoy the skin contact. I lifted her into a bridal carry and got us on the bed quickly with me laying down on my back and her on top of me. "Okay Ness relax I'm going to reposition you, just trust me." I spun her around so her she was in a 69 position, but she was facing the ceiling. Her ass was on my chest and her head and hair were on my hard cock. I moved her legs so they were bent comfortably and her feet were on the bed. I knew I could get Nessie off in five minutes or less if I just put all my attention on her clit, but I also knew that even though she was a clit girl she preferred me to take my time. I could spend fifteen minutes on Ness, five on myself, and she could clean up while I finished myself off.

I began kissing her inner thighs, making my way to her dripping wet core, my hands traveled to her breasts. Her back arched as my thumbs rubbed lazy circles over her hard nipples; her hips thrust, desperate to feel my lips and tongue on her swollen and needy clit. Her thighs tightened as I licked her honeypot, while I slowly thrust my finger in and out of her tight hole.

The whole time Ness kept talking, a constant stream of barely coherent and jumbled thoughts. In between moaning, whimpering, gasping, and mewling she promised that she could make me feel good too. Her hands that had been gripping my thighs began to travel closer to my balls and at some point Nessie moved her head to the side of my dick and turned so her lips and tongue could make contact. I decided not to argue with her about it. There was no point and we didn't have time to chat if we were going to get the laundry folded before we left for Puna. Nessie wanted the laundry folded and Nessie got what Nessie wanted. She licked her hand as well and started working my cock with her right hand from one side while her tongue worked the other side.

I was determined to make her come first; I had a feeling she was working on the same premise to try and prove me wrong about her ability to make me cum quickly. My teeth gently bit into her clit, pulling the engorged flesh further into my mouth. I clamped my lips down and sucked, my tongue continued to circle. I felt her body tense and realized she was holding back her orgasm so that she could make me come first. I moved my head back from her pussy. "Ness, relax. If you hold it off we won't have time to fold the laundry." I curled my fingers, allowing them to hit her G-spot with each thrust of my hand.

What came out of her mouth next shocked the hell out of me because I usually had to drag curses out of her. "Fuck the laundry! I'm gonna make you cum before we leave."

"Okay – Nessie, you can finish me off, but you need to let go first and then we will move into a better position for you. You'll hurt yourself if you are this tense while in that awkward position."

"Okay, Jake." I moved my tongue back to her pussy and felt her relax and stop working my dick. It did not take long before she exploded with an intense orgasm. I kept licking, long after her release, and felt her body become aroused again when suddenly she said, "Stop, Jake! If you make me cum again I'm not going to be able to hike. My body will be jello."

I stopped. "Okay – sorry, Baby. How do you want to finish me?"

"You standing – me kneeling." She rolled off me and was on all fours. I got up and stretched. "Wait a second, Jake. Come to the edge of the bed." I looked down She was in doggy style position on the bed. I could see what she was thinking. She wanted to deep throat me and she had found a workable position where her throat would be straight.

I stepped over to her and said, "Ness, now might not be the best time to try this. We need ten minutes to get the laundry and get dressed and another ten to get to the meeting spot for our tour. That gives us twenty minutes to fool around. I need to get off before we leave. You have fifteen minutes and then I'll do it myself. It's your choice; we can try this another time."

She didn't answer me instead she wrapped her lips tightly around my dick and started rocking back and forth taking me a bit deeper on each stroke forward. I ran my hands along her back, sides, and under her to her perfect tits. I needed to let her be in control. No matter how much I wanted to thrust into her I couldn't. She worked up in speed and depth so that she was basically fucking my cock with her mouth and touching just above my cock with her nose on every thrust. After about ten minutes she had me ready to cum.

"Nessie, Baby, I'm gonna cum."

She thrust deep and held me there while she worked her tongue hard and quick against the underside of my shaft and the top of my balls. I exploded into her throat. She removed me and sat up with a smug smile.

I picked her up and kissed her deeply. "I love you too." She knew what I meant. Sometimes actions said I love you more than words.

She giggled and nodded then looked at the floor. "What am I going to wear for a swimsuit?"

"Wear the white or pink one that we decided was inappropriate."

"Seriously, Jake?" she asked, incredulously.

"Yeah, the tour only holds five other guests I think I can sufficiently intimidate five people into keeping their eyes to themselves."

"I'll only wear one of those if you mark me in an obvious place."

"What?"

"After I put it on I want you to mark me on both my breasts so that it's obvious I'm yours."

"Nessie!" I said sharply. She was always teetering on the edges of my limits. I wasn't ready to be pushed yet. She could push me later, but I wanted a contract before we went much further.

"Your choice. That or I can wear the string bikini that might slip off while swimming," she teased.

"Fuck Ness. What is it with you and needing to be marked?"

"I feel safer. Like I'm telling the world I happily belong to Jacob Black." She would definitely want a collar later.

I didn't want to argue with her or push her so I agreed, "Okay, Ness, we have limited time and I'd rather have you in a suit that won't disappear with a light wave, but we'll talk about it more before I do it again."

We both went into the bathroom and washed up. She pulled on the white suit and I tossed my board shorts back on. I knelt in front of her and left large hickeys on the exposed part of each of her tits. She then threw on a black short sleeved running shirt and a pair of khaki shorts. I tossed on a black running shirt too. We both wore our hiking sandals and ran to the laundry room because we were so low on time. I tucked our stuff into our laundry bag while she grabbed our travel towels and stuffed them in my backpack which already had the sunblock, bug spray, rain coats, hats and sunglasses.

We dropped the laundry back in the room and ran to the departure point. Once we were there we relaxed a bit because we had ten minutes.

She pulled her hair into a high ponytail and asked, "Jake, can you put sun block on me before we get on the van?"

"Sure, Ness."

"Do you want me to leave my shirt on or take it off?"

I looked around the area it was packed with people. I sighed. "If you take it off you better be either facing me or covering your front with your shirt until we get out of here." She smiled and turned to face me.

"I have an idea. Can I have our bag?" I slung it off my shoulder and handed it to her she handed me the sunscreen and took our hats out and put them on us then she pulled out my raincoat then set the bag between our feet. She took my rain coat and held it up by the shoulders behind her. "Hold this here." I moved the sunscreen to my pocket and did as she suggested. She took off her shirt, then spun around, took the raincoat, and put her arms in it so it was on her backwards. "Now you can do my back." I chuckled; she was creative. I put the lotion on her back and upper arms. She reversed the jacket so I could do her front. The hickeys were already extremely dark. They would last several days. She got her shirt back on and packed up our bag again.

She applied sunscreen to her face and legs and then slathered some on me. She didn't mind people seeing me shirtless at all. She seemed proud to be staking her claim on me publicly, not to mention I still had bruises from her love bites a couple nights before on the balcony. She had a thing for marks and I really needed time to process whether I was comfortable with that as a symbol of possession. She wanted to be an economist and I would one day be Chief – I wasn't sure glaring hickeys were really something we should get accustomed to. It certainly wouldn't gain either of us respect. Maybe the novelty would wear off after the newlywed stage was over.

We visited the region of Puna. Nessie decided we needed to use some of our winnings to purchase Macadamia nuts and honey at a farm. I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I realized how much they cost. I had to keep reminding myself that I set the rules and she was just obeying them. She sent large gift baskets to every member of our family and had an extra basket sent to Bella for us. We also got to hike a beach that was covered in black lava and a volcano. We swam and snorkeled for the remainder of our adventure and then we were all brought back to the boat. It was a lot of exercise, but it was also incredibly relaxing.

We decided to eat at the buffet since we wouldn't have to change and we were both exhausted. When we got back to the room Nessie groaned as she recalled that our clothes had not been folded which made me recall that she never told me where all the silk clothes were.

"We got a little distracted this morning," I said as she was deciding what needed to be pressed and what could just be smoothed out.

"Yeah we did." She smiled over her shoulder.

"You never did tell me why you washed some of your silk items, but not others."

"Well the stocking and nightgowns are only for you to see and they are designed to be washed by hand. Whereas, the rest of my silk has special things about it and therefore needs to be dry cleaned. I'll drop those in Maui tomorrow for one day service with your suits."

"Why not just get them cleaned at home?"

"Well then any smells or stains will have a chance to set into the garment and I'd rather just be able to unpack when we get home not have loads of clothes to wash and dry clean."

"What's special about each of the items?"

"Well the black dress is virgin wool so it would shrink if I washed it. The pink dress is cotton and silk on the outside, but has a synthetic lining so if it shrank only the outside would shrink while the inside would get puckered and weird. The wraps are both silk and cashmere blends so they could shrink, but they also have weird fringes that clump together in when you wash them in water. Your suits are wool so they would shrink. The peach shirt is pure silk but the silk was manufactured by several different processes so they might behave differently in water. The purple dress is being dry cleaned because I was being lazy and didn't want to deal with hand washing and then pressing pure linen. It's not that difficult, but I didn't want to do any ironing on this trip and linen takes a very hot iron. Then your ties are silk, but they have synthetic linings that do bad things when you wash them. I washed Dad's ties once trying to be nice and destroyed ten silk ties in one shot."

We both chuckled.

We were both dead tired so we just went straight to bed after our night routines were done. She didn't even want to put away the clothes hanging in the bathroom which was surprising for Nessie.

~*O*~

**Coming up:**

"Okay." She smiled. "Now as I was saying, you're mine. Do exactly as I say and nothing else. Do you understand, my Jacob?"

"Yes." I didn't want to take it to full scene territory by calling her ma'am or mistress and I didn't think she wanted me to anyway.

She kissed me softly and her shirt lightly touched my abs and chest. "You like my shirt don't you, Jacob?"

"I do."

She smirked. "I think since you like it so much we should get it closer to you. Please take it off of me, my Jacob."

I slowly removed it being sure to graze her breasts as I did so. She shuddered. Her pussy clamped down on my cock as she squirmed.

I held it in my hands above her head when I'd gotten it off her. I was smiling cockily. She hadn't give me further instructions.

The shirt had fallen between our faces like a curtain. She moved it with her hands. "You think you're clever don't you?" she asked playfully.

~*O*~

**Important Question: Please answer in review or private message and I'll give you a preview too.**

**I am considering ending Toe to Toe at the end of the honeymoon and then moving into a sequel for the BDSM portion of their relationship. How do you as my readers feel about a sequel? Would you prefer I just keep extending Toe to Toe or should I end this and then start a sequel?**


	23. Nessie in Control

**Author's Note: Obviously this is an All Human Story. It is rated NC-17 for lemons. The content will touch on/explore BDSM and Dom/sub relationships, it will veer away from BDSM to a male led relationship that includes RARE Domestic Discipline. There will be a willing power exchange, but I am taking substantial liberties and the final version of J/N relationship will not adhere to what most would consider a BDSM relationship.**

Important Disclaimer: I don't live the D/s, BDSM, or DD lifestyle. This is a work of fiction and, as such, should not be used as an instruction manual.

**Special thanks to my awesome beta Sawny94. This story is better because of your help. If you enjoy my story please check Sawny94 out she was one of my inspirations. You're awesome. I also owe thanks to another couple of Jake and Ness writers: TwilightCakes and Pemberly Rose for their assistance and feedback. If you haven't read Life in Technicolor by Pemberly Rose or Untouchable by TwilightCakes you should give them each a chance.**

Decisions – There will not be a separated sequel I am just going to add to this story. Thank you for all your feedback. Though the majority of you opted for a separate sequel there were two reasons I decided against it. 1) There are too many unresolved conflicts outstanding and 2) the point in the story was to slowly introduce a D/s relationship and explore it that hasn't yet come to fruition. At the end of the next chapter those of you who don't want to journey into the BDSM world with Jake and Ness may want to call it an end. This is the longest you have had to wait for an update from me (3 weeks), but it may become the standard within the next months – I am almost caught up with all my previously written material and will need some time to get ahead again. FYI: There were multiple reasons this update took so long 1) I forgot to send the final draft for betaing until a week had passed, 2) my Beta, sawny had RL commitments, but she made this chapter a priority anyway, 3) my husband's God Father died just as sawny got me the chapter back, 4) the day of the wake I got a horrible case of food poisoning, 5) 2 days of not eating does not do a pregnant body good so the baby was lethargic at the ultrasound and therefore was positioned very poorly so the tech had to drive the wand into me to get good pictures and I still have to go back so I am in bad abdominal pain. Anyway the baby looks pretty good there were some genetic concerns, but we hope those'll resolve before birth and it's a boy. Note on Our Deliverance: I'll get previews out soon I am heavily revising which is why I haven't replied to reviews yet.

**This is probably one of the most critical chapters plot wise in the story thus far. Thank you all for sticking with me. There is a D/s switch scene in this chapter.**

My twitter: (at)Efficient_Vixen. I have also changed my FanFiction pen name.

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all its characters are the property of the talented Stephenie Meyer – I am just playing in her world for a while. Song lyrics are the property of their respective authors.**

~*O*~

_Forgive me_

_Is all that you can't say_

_Years gone by and still_

_Words don't come easily_

_Like forgive me, forgive me_

_But you can say baby_

_Baby can I hold you tonight_

_Maybe if I told you the right words_

_At the right time you'd be mine_

Tracy Chapman, _Baby Can I Hold You_

Chapter 24: Nessie in Control

JPOV

Nessie and I woke up early in the morning and she took care of the clothes in the bathroom while I ironed the clothes she was concerned about after yesterday morning. She called guest services to figure out what dry cleaners to use in Maui and gathered all the dry cleaning into a plastic bag. We had a hiking adventure starting at eleven am and tomorrow would be a free day to explore as we decided. I had planned a free day here and a free day in Honolulu so we wouldn't be completely overwhelmed by the itinerary. Plus I had a surprise for her in Honolulu; she hadn't asked me when we were flying home yet. I had found two days when Becks and Jon could meet up with us after they returned home so we would be staying at their house for two nights. We would be flying home overnight on Sunday night through Monday morning. I knew we were cutting it close with her beginning school on Monday afternoon, but I thought it would be okay.

We disembarked the ship at eight am and dropped our clothes at a dry cleaners. I didn't even want to imagine what the bill would be. Nessie insisted that clothes and their care were part of the money she had set aside and so I wasn't allowed to worry about the bill. It was strange to have gone from carefully planning our expenses to just scrape by on my income to Nessie making a demand that we use the trust to pay part of our living expenses since I had to give up my roommates for her. Honestly, I didn't mind; I was much happier with her in the house than with Quil and Embry and the money she would be contributing to the household was exactly what I had been getting a year from Quil and Embry. Therefore, my standard of living wasn't changing at all and apparently neither was Nessie's.

We explored shops and the sites of the small town we landed in. We purchased a few Koa wood crafts: masks, kitchen utensils, salad bowls, and cutting boards. Then we went back to the boat for our Rainforest and Waterfall adventure. Throughout the hike through rainforests and streams we swam in small swimming holes and finally came to the falls which were breathtaking.

Before returning to the boat we picked up the dry cleaning. The bill was a hundred and fifty dollars I was trying to figure out if it could really be worth that much. Nessie wasn't even surprised she just whipped out her regular visa card and paid the bill. She did however carefully examine each piece before we left the shop.

"What are you doing?" I asked softly, leaning against the counter and giving her a bit of space to do what she needed.

"We're here for one more day if there's an error or a mistake I need to identify it now before I leave the store so I can resolve it," she stated.

"What could be wrong?" I asked.

"Jacob I am not even going to discuss the potential things that could be wrong. We don't have time for me to educate you on all the things that can go wrong in the cleaning process. By the way in the future do you prefer your dress shirts hung or boxed?"

"Excuse me?"

"I had them boxed so I could easily pack them for our travels, but I need to know which you prefer and how much starch you like," she asked, exasperatedly, as though I should know these things.

"Nessie, you just start speaking pixie – I have no preference because I've never brought a shirt to a dry cleaners in my life."

"Not even your church clothes?" She whipped around to look at me. She was obviously shocked.

"No, Nessie, I wash all my own clothes – up until our wedding I owned one suit that I wore for special occasions and I could usually wear it three or four times before I needed to get it cleaned depending on how long I wore it for. And even then I still washed the dress shirts myself. Haven't you notice that I stick primarily to my leather blazer and jeans for most events requiring a blazer?"

"I just thought that was your style."

"Well it is, but I clean it myself and treat it with mink oil afterward. I know professional leather cleaning is expensive so I try to take excellent care of my leather stuff at home."

"You clean it yourself? I hadn't even considered how to clean my new items." Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She was referring to her lingerie, but didn't want the clerk to know since she was still examining our clothes. "I can't imagine bringing them to the cleaners, but I also imagine they will need cleaning whenever I wear them." Her face flushed.

"Don't worry, Baby, I'll take care of _all_ your stuff."

Nessie giggled nervously before asking, "Where did you learn to take care of leather?"

I smiled brightly. "Kinda necessary when you restore vintage cars." The smile faded as I thought of Billy teaching me as part of my heritage. I didn't say anything about that because I was avoiding Billy conversations.

"Oh. I never thought of that, but I guess that is an important skill in auto repair that must have been why Rose was so sure you'd like the leather."

"Yeah – Quil and I handle most of the leather work in the shop. She can do it, but she prefers engines. Besides, we rarely get anything that needs leather restoration so most of it I handle myself."

She was pulling the bags back over our clothes. "We're all set; everything's perfect."

I grabbed all the hangers in one finger and slung everything over my shoulder for the walk back to the ship. As we were walking down the street, I realized Nessie had dozens of pairs of expensive shoes, many of them leather. "Wait a sec, how do you take care of your shoes?"

"I bring them to a shoe repair store when they get dirty."

"Every time?"

"Well, I'm not going to take a risk by cleaning my Louboutins or Jimmy Choos at home."

"I think you just started speaking pixie again Lube-what-tins?"

She giggled, "Christian Louboutin is the designer of most of my super high heels – the one's you like so much – that cost between nine hundred and two thousand a pair."

"I know you like wearing designer shoes, but we live in Seattle, Babe. They must get wet and dirty all the time."

"Well it's not like I wear them everyday – only for special occasions – and any that I wear on a rainy day have been waterproofed. If I need them and the weather is horrible I carry them in a bag to wherever I'm going. There's no point in wearing designer shoes if you destroy them before you get to your event."

I chuckled. "It's just so strange to realize you care so much about your shoes when you are also more than happy to go running through the muddy woods on a rainy day."

She smiled brightly. "It's all the same, Jake, I care about taking care of myself and my things. I run everyday just like you to keep my body in excellent physical condition. I have clothing and shoes that are made for running regardless of the conditions, just like you do. I see what I wear, what I drive, and where I live as an extension of myself and since I respect myself and want to keep myself in top form I also keep those things in top form so that they can serve the function they are designed to serve. Would I take my Jimmy Choo patent leather sandals out for a run in the woods? Of course not. Would I wear my muddy cross trainers to a dinner party? Of course not. It's not their function. They're all simply tools to assist me in projecting the image I desire. It's sort of like the same reason you've never seen me on a diet – do I watch what I eat? Sure – I make sure I am getting a generally balanced diet. But, the truth is you and I are runners – we're not runners just because we like to run – we're runners because we like to eat and we care about our bodies. As runners, we never have to diet and we can eat pretty much whatever we want as long as we make sure to eat a lot of complex carbs. I take pride in everything that reflects upon me having a presentable appearance."

I understood her explanation, but I accomplished the same goal for much less money. "I do too, but I only spend a little money on clothes and such."

She continued explaining, "I know and I could live without name brands and designer clothes, but I have the resources to indulge. Besides, I don't want to spend my time bargain hunting when I can do all my shopping four times a year when the new collections are revealed by my favorite designers. I could care less about when I wear what I wear – I don't care if it was on the runway three weeks or three years ago, but when I see something I really want I get it then.

"Claire and Carmen look just as good as I do and I would bet they spend about what you do in a year on their clothes, shoes, and accessories. They're bargain hunters. They each have their own style. Claire is pink everything and Carmen is black and white everything. The choice to use one or two colors primarily allows them a lot of versatility in their purchases. They get knock off versions of the same shoes I buy in designer labels. So they might see a pair of my shoes and drool over them, but later that year Steve Madden puts out a knock off pair for five or ten percent of the cost of my shoes. They will look at those shoes and keep their eyes peeled for a sale then one day they will drop to an amount that Claire or Carmen are willing to spend usually it's under $20 on the clearance rack then they will scoop them up. I just don't want to spend my time watching clearance racks for things I really want. Claire and Carmen shop every weekend; I only shop four times a year for clothes."

I smiled. "Okay, so are you telling me that you are buying expensive clothes so you can spend more quality time with me?" I asked, trying to figure out if that was what she was trying to say with that long explanation.

"Exactly." She smiled broadly.

"When you were talking about food it reminded me that I want some," I said sheepishly.

"Of course you do. We've had a long day." She patted my arm and smiled gently.

"The next twenty-four hours are yours to decide what we do so you get to choose what we eat," I told her.

"No plans at all, my Jacob?"

"I'm at your whim until 6pm tomorrow when we have the formal evening."

"Does that mean we are off the itinerary for the next day?" I could see the wheels spinning in her head.

"Yes, and I know what you're thinking. Feel free to use gambling money to do whatever your heart desires."

"I want to go scuba diving." Her eyes were glowing with excitement.

"That sounds fun. Do you want to make reservations tonight or take our chances in the morning?"

"Tonight. There's a place by the dock that said they do private charters."

We dropped the clothes back in the room. Then she led me to North Shore Explorers and scheduled us for a six am to noon private dive. We then headed off to a local cafe for dinner. We shared a noodle dish and a Hawaiian pork dish with lots of vegetables. We returned to the room and made love twice in three hours then we went to bed.

We got up early, took a short run, prayed and got ready before we headed out to go diving. We had a blast exploring underwater caverns, coral, and sea life. We returned to the ship for a quick lunch and then we went wandering the streets looking for more things to buy with our gambling money. She picked out several floral dresses, sarongs, more Hawaiian shirts, and bags. We picked up a Plumeria necklace, bracelet, and earring set for her as well.

We headed back to the ship to relax for a while before we had to get ready for the formal meal. I made us each a spiked cherry coke while she turned on the TV. We hadn't watched TV the entire time we had been on the cruise. She turned on the news – she was probably feeling disconnected from current events. Mostly it was political stuff about the congressional elections. She settled into my lap and started sipping her drink. She preferred to watch and listen to the stories while I preferred the quick updates on the little ticker tape that ran across the bottom of the screen. The main stories were political updates and a story of a missing child who had been found in the mountains of Tennessee. He was okay. The ticker tape ran through several stories including one on a hacker who managed to shut down power to Denver for a day and a terrorist ring operating in Germany had been taken down.

After the half hour news cycle was over, I turned the power off with the remote and kissed her neck, pulling her closer against me so she could feel the bulge in my pants.

She whimpered against me. "I'm still in control, right?" Nessie asked.

"This is your day to do with as you please, Nessie," I answered, not sure why she was asking.

"Can we make love like this then?"

"If you mean seated with you in my lap, yes." I chuckled and moved my hands up and down her back softly. Then added teasingly, "If you mean with all our clothes on, no."

"I meant seated." I could practically hear her rolling her eyes.

"Front or back?" I asked.

"What?" She seemed surprised. I moved her so I could see her face. She was blushing.

"Which way do you want to be facing do you want me to face your front or your back?" I clarified.

"Oh." She blushed redder and relaxed, relief evident on her beautiful face.

"What did you think I meant?" I kissed her cheek.

"Never mind," she tried to brush it off and wiggled against my hard on. I really wanted to know now.

"You're trying to distract me. Come on tell me what you thought." I kissed and nibbled lightly at her neck.

"Nope."

_What did I have to bargain with to get this out of her?_ "What can I do to get you to tell me?" I kissed along her collarbone.

She turned to face me. She grinned devilishly. "I don't want to tell you and there's something I know you don't want to do to me. So I'll tell you what Jake – you mark me and I'll tell you."

She thought she had me; she knew I was curious and I wasn't going to drop this. But, she didn't say when or where. I smiled back. "Okay."

"Okay? Just like that." _She thought I wouldn't agree. _ "I thought you were adamant about having a talk before you marked me again."

"I am."

"But – today's my day and I don't want to have a serious talk." She pouted.

I smiled. "I didn't say I'd mark you today. I agreed to you telling me when I mark you. I'm patient." I began nuzzling her ear, gently taking her soft lobe between my teeth.

She blushed furiously. "I – I thought you'd give up. I didn't mean to agree to tell you later."

I chuckled. "I know, but you did. I can't wait to find out what you were thinking based on your blush it was kinky." As soon as the word kinky came across my lips, I realized what she thought. She blushed more. _She thought I was asking if she wanted anal sex. Fuck! I would wait until I had some inkling she wanted that before broaching that subject. We'd never ever even hinted at that. Why would she think that was what I meant? I needed to backtrack. The marking discussion couldn't wait until she was ready for that discussion and I would never push her into telling me how she felt about anal._

"Jacob, are you okay? You look like someone killed your puppy." She used my words for when she looked upset.

I chuckled. "I'm fine, Babe, I changed my mind. I just realized I was wrong for pushing you. It doesn't matter what you thought. We'll have the marking chat when we get home with no strings attached. You don't ever have to tell me what you were thinking." I ground my hard on against her. "I think we got distracted from a more important matter anyway."

"We do that a lot." She got up. "We need to undress if we're going to make love." I stood and kissed her deeply. I untied her bikini top at the neck and back and let it fall to the floor. She still had a short sleeved drape neck silk shirt on, but I thought I'd leave it on at the start. She was undoing my board shorts and I unbuttoned her shorts and slid them off along with her bikini bottom.

Then she pushed me toward the couch; I flopped down. We both still had our shirts on she straddled my lap and started removing my shirt. I lifted my arms to assist her. We started kissing and I played with her nipples through her shirt. I really did enjoy the feel and look of silk on her skin.

"Jacob..." she whined.

"What, Baby?" I asked innocently as I rubbed my dick against her slick folds.

"I need to feel you." I pressed harder with my cock as I kept fondling her nipples.

"I can feel you pretty well. Whatever do you mean?" She settled onto my cock a little.

"I want your hands on my breasts." I thrust up just a little.

"They are." I gave her a cocky grin. I knew what she wanted, but she was in control today which meant I could tease her into giving me explicit instructions. She bounced her hips up and down taking me a little deeper.

"You know what I want." She kissed me lightly, teasingly.

"I do?" I teased.

She moved her hands off my shoulders. She was getting frustrated with my teasing. She was going to remove her own shirt. I thrust up hard so she would need to stabilize herself with her hands.

"I thought I was in control?" she admonished, while raising herself away from me.

My hands on her hips kept her close enough so my cock didn't slip out. "I guess I need better instructions," I said with a smile.

"Oh, is that how you want to play?" she asked devilishly.

I kissed her deeply and then pulled back and nodded. I thrust hard and deep inside her.

"Just remember, you asked for this, Jake." She kissed me really deeply. Then she commanded me, "Stop moving your hips."

I immediately stopped moving and settled onto the couch, now I was barely inside her sweet little pussy. My hands squeezed her hips, I hoped I might get away with pulling her to me.

She smiled wickedly and shook her head. "Naughty boy, until six o'clock you're mine. Do not move unless I tell you to."

I was both stunned and very turned on by her commands, but I realized I had asked for it. I knew we probably didn't need a safe word for today, but we had already blurred the edge between normal sex and a scene and this was definitely a scene. My brain was so clouded by lust that night on the balcony that I hadn't given her a safe word and she clearly needed one. I wasn't going to fuck that up again. "Nessie, I want a safe word if we're going to play like this."

She settled onto my aching cock. "You think we need one for today?"

"Whenever we experiment with control we should have one. I fucked up on the balcony by not giving you one, but I was deluding myself into thinking that it was just normal sex."

She quickly bobbed up then down. I sucked in a quick breath.

"It wasn't. Let's not make that mistake again. Anytime either of us feels uncomfortable and wants to slow down we should say 'yellow.' Anytime either one of us wants to stop for any reason we should say 'red.' Okay?"

"Okay." She smiled. "Now as I was saying, you're mine. Do exactly as I say and nothing else. Do you understand, my Jacob?"

"Yes." I didn't want to take it to full scene territory by calling her ma'am or mistress and I didn't think she wanted me to anyway.

She kissed me softly and her shirt lightly touched my abs and chest. "You like my shirt don't you, Jacob?"

"I do."

She smirked. "I think since you like it so much we should get it closer to you. Take it off of me, my Jacob," she ordered softly.

I slowly removed it being sure to graze her breasts as I did. She shuddered. Her already tight sheath clamped down on my cock as she squirmed.

I held it in my hands above her head when I'd gotten it off her. I was smiling cockily. She hadn't give me further instructions.

The shirt had fallen between our faces like a curtain. She moved it with her hands. "You think you're clever don't you?" she asked playfully.

"Yep."

"Maybe I should have you leave your hands like that?" She brought one finger to her lips and tapped it like she was considering the idea. She leaned forward so her breasts were barely touching my chest. I so wanted to move my dick, but this was her game until six. She licked my ear and then whispered "I think I need your hands to touch me tonight, but first I think it's time we do something I've been thinking about a _very, very_ long time. Give me my shirt, Jake."

I handed her the shirt.

"Feel free to touch anywhere except my breasts and lady parts."

I chuckled lightly. _ She still didn't know what to call her pussy. _

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you laughing at me, Jacob?"

I began lightly touching her anywhere I could, getting as close as I could to the forbidden areas of her body. "Yes. I'm amused that you're still adorable even when you're being dominant. You can't even say 'pussy' or 'vagina' it's just cute. I imagined you asking for pussy worship without using the word." I lightly tickled her hips and she squirmed. I cockily added, "Don't worry, Baby, I won't touch your girly parts until you beg me to."

She had folded the shirt into a long strip. She continued to gyrate her hips. "Well, I'm not begging for anything today; I'm ordering. Put this on."

"What – your shirt? You know it's a little small for me and I'll ruin it." I teased.

She giggled. "Not like that, silly Jacob. Like a blindfold."

_She wanted to blindfold me; well, this would be different._

"Do you want to put it on or should I?" she asked.

_Ness was definitely a sub. Yes, she could give orders and make me comply with her demands, but she certainly wasn't assured of her place in the dynamic. I needed her to feel more confident. I would do anything for her._ "Whatever you want, Ness. I might pull it too tight and damage the fabric if I tie it." I kept moving my hands on her torso.

"Okay – you hold it up so you can't see and I'll tie it."

I did as she instructed and groaned as my cock slipped out of her as she moved up on her knees to tie the shirt around my head.

She didn't settle back down instead she pressed her breast against my chest and said, "I'll be right back, my Jacob, I need to grab a few things. Where is the key to the safe?"

_Why the hell did she need to go in the safe? All we have in there is jewelry._ "Front pocket of the backpack with my wallet," I answered. It was a strange experience having my sight restricted. I was an intensely visual person. So I was giving up the sense I most depended on. I had done it a few times with Edward, but there was never a sexual element. This was much more intense. Bella never topped; so we'd never done any switching. Nessie seemed to have some sort of plan. She was enjoying this. I was glad I could make her happy, but there was a large part of me that was fighting to take control of the scene and drag my wife onto my cock.

I could smell the silk shirt wrapped around my head and I could hear Nessie moving quietly through the room. I heard a zipper and then I heard the safe open and then I heard a door open. "Ness, you still here?" I asked, unsure if she would leave the room with me blindfolded.

"Yeah, I'm just in the closet."

_Why is she in the closet? Trust her, Jake; you need to trust her; she is your wife, your Nessie. Let go of control._ I heard the door close then heard wood scraping, probably a drawer. She was certainly keeping me in suspense.

She ran a hand across my cock. I didn't realize she was that close. I jumped and then moaned at the sudden contact.

"So I've played along with you when you blindfolded me and both times I just had to trust you. Do you trust me, Jacob?" Her voice sent shivers through my body as she stroked my shaft lightly.

Valuing honesty, I answered, "Of course. I just have trouble giving up control. You have no idea how much I want to throw you on the bed and fuck you 'til you can't move."

I heard Nessie gasp and her voice came out raspy and weak, "Well, I'm afraid you're mine until six pm and I can't allow you to do that just yet." She cleared her throat and composed herself before continuing, "I'm going to let you feel and smell the three things I want to touch you with tonight. Let me know if I need to tell you what they are or if you can just accept whatever I do," She paused and then laid something long, thin, and smooth across my shoulder down my chest. "That's the first thing, Jake." She moved it to my nose and I smelled silk.

"It's silk. I'm not sure what it is, but I'm okay with it as long as you don't use it as a restraint. I'm not up for that after the other day." I clenched my fists worried concentrating on maintaining control over my own body.

"Neither am I, my Jacob." I felt something long and fluffy across my shoulder and chest.

_What the hell is that? _

"This is the second thing." She moved it to my nose and I smelled silk again. I was even more confused.

"How much silk do you own, Nessie?"

"Enough." She giggled. "Are you okay with that piece?"

"I have no idea what it is or what you're going to use it for. Honestly, I'm confused as hell about what it is. I have no recollection of anything that you even have that would feel like that."

"It's a ruffled scarf. It was in with my stockings that's why you haven't seen it yet. I promise it'll be fun and you can always stop me if you're uncomfortable." She stroked my cock again.

"Okay," I gasped out.

"Okay last item. I'm going to let you feel this against your arm because it'll make more sense there. Tense your bicep."

I made a muscle and she wrapped something thin and hard around my muscle it wrapped easily, but wasn't long enough to make it all the way around. She rolled it up and down the muscle I could tell it was some sort of beads. "Do you want to smell these? They aren't silk."

I chuckled. "No I don't need to smell them, but would you tell me what they are?"

"They're the black pearls I wore the other day. I think you'll enjoy these most of all," she cooed seductively.

"Okay – I trust you."

"Thank you, Jake. I'm going to get back on you now. Feel free to touch me and to move as you like; just stay seated." I felt her steady herself on my shoulders and straddle me. Then she slowly settled herself onto my cock. Her pussy was dripping wet; my girl was a bit kinky.

I started moving my hands softly exploring her without sight. I always knew Nessie's skin was soft, but feeling her like this reminded me of just how soft she was. She wasn't moving much, just gently gyrating her hips. I felt her move her hand with the long smooth silk move up my chest to my neck. When she reached my neck she wrapped her other arm around my neck and stretched the silk across the back of my neck. She draped both sides down my chest.

"I've always wondered what that would look like without a shirt," she said suddenly. Then she kissed me. She started doing something with the silk that felt like it was wrapping around my neck and being tied.

_Whoa. I thought we'd agreed to no restraint. _ "Yellow," I said hesitantly, suddenly glad I'd made the safe word rule.

She stopped what she was doing with the silk and asked in a shaky voice, "What did I do wrong?"

"I thought we agreed: no restraints," I said gently. "Whatever you were doing to my neck felt like a restraint."

"Oh. I never thought of that. It's a neck tie. I was just tying it." She sounded sad.

I relaxed, but felt bad for safe wording now.

"I didn't think of that as restraint since it's the normal use. When I thought of restraint I thought you were saying you didn't want your hands or feet tied up. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I reassured. "It would've been fine if I'd known it was a tie. I just didn't know where you were going and thought I should let you know I was nervous before we got further." She kissed me softly.

"Thank you for letting me know. I love you, my Jacob."

I started moving my hands again and found her nipples. "I love you too, my Nessie."

She left the tie where it was. I felt her shift her weight against one of my thighs and then she shifted back. I felt the soft fluffy scarf tickle against my abs. _ Oh – that's what she planned to do with that. _ I felt her moving it in soft slow curving movements against my chest, abs, shoulders, and arms. She kissed me lustily. I was still moving my hands across her in similar motions.

"Jacob, I want you to be hard for me while I'm soft with you. I want you to grab my hips and pull me in; I want you to love to me _hard_ until I cum. I promise I'll do something _really_ special for you if you do this for me."

I moved my hands to her hips and gripped her firmly and started moving her up and down on my cock as I had wanted to do since she took control. _Wow. I have the most amazing wife. I can be blindfolded and playing bottom in a switch scene and somehow she still gives me control. I feel dominant even when she gives the commands._ She continued to tickle and caress me with the scarf while I moved her hips and thrust into her.

I wished I could see her face to know how close to cumming she was. I could only gauge her closeness by her soft sighs and moans which were increasing as I thrust harder and faster in and out of her hot core. Suddenly, I heard her scream my name and felt her pussy tighten around me as she came. I pulled her in close and held her while she relaxed. She had stopped moving her hands; the silk lay across my abs between our bodies and her breasts were pressed firmly to my chest. I imagined what her face would look like, a perfectly content tiny smile spread across her soft lips. I was still hard as a rock, but I knew she had a plan to take care of me and I had just enjoyed her cumming immensely. Cutting off my sight had really heightened my other senses.

After a couple minutes of just being held in my arms she said, "Thank you, my Jacob. That was just what I needed. Now it's your turn to cum." She kissed me softly. Then she rose off of me. I hated losing the contact, but this was her show to control. I felt her hands on my knees. "Jacob, spread your legs apart." I did and I felt her support her weight on my knees and then I felt her arms settle on top of my legs – she was kneeling between my legs. Was she really going to give me a blow job after we just had sex? I knew she was okay with kisses after I pleasured her, but we had never talked about her licking her own cum off me or even off a finger. I wished I could see her face if she was going to taste herself on me. It would be so hot.

"Jake, I want you to count out loud to one hundred and then I want you to take the blind fold off. I want you to enjoy the visual experience, but I also want you to be blindfolded at the start."

I started counting.

I felt the cool pearls wrap around the base of my cock. She coiled them upward and then started rolling them up and down my shaft with her hands. They slid easily since I was still wet from her cum. I had never felt anything like this. 

_This is amazing! Where the fuck does she learn this shit?_

I reached one hundred and removed the blindfold. She was watching my dick intently as she worked the pearls up and down.

"You're amazing, Ness," I said in awe of the woman kneeling before me. She looked into my eyes and I saw pure love and happiness.

She smiled and then moved her lips to my tip. She worked the first couple inches with her mouth and lips and focused on the majority of the shaft with her hands and the pearls. The sensations were intense and before long I came hard. I told her all the things I found amazing about her while coming down from my intense orgasm. Afterward, I asked her to just cuddle with me for a few minutes. When the time approached six o'clock, she got out of my lap, picked up her tan scarf, and left the black tie on my shoulders she was already holding the pearls in her hand. She asked me to put the tie away since we hadn't really used it. She added the scarf to the laundry, grabbed one of her stockings and took the pearls into the bathroom. I followed her.

"I have to wash these immediately or they could get damaged from the fluids," Ness told me as she grabbed her shampoo and put a dollop in the sink then filled the sink with warm water. She then took her stocking and set the string of pearls into it.

"Aren't you concerned the stocking will tear from the clasp?" I asked.

"Jacob a pair of these stockings cost $50. These pearls are a family heirloom and I don't even want to tell you what they're valued at." She explained hesitantly, as she tied off the stocking.

_What? She used a family heirloom to give me a hand job and suck my cock._

"Nessie. Tell me what they are valued at," I demanded forcefully. It wasn't okay to use family heirlooms as sex toys or to hide their value from me.

"Can I just say it's more than my discretionary income for a year and leave it at that?" She answered, defensively. Then she turned off the water.

_More than thirty thousand._

"How much?" I demanded.

She spoke softly, "Fifty-three thousand at the last insurance evaluation about a year ago."

I was stunned. She turned and started gently massaging the pearls through her stocking in the lightly soapy water.

_She used a family heirloom valued at fifty-three thousand dollars as a sex toy._

I walked out of the bathroom. I needed a minute to process this. I needed to run. I went to the dresser, grabbed my running clothes, and threw them on.

"Nessie, I'm going for a run. I'll be back shortly."

She stepped out of the bathroom naked, with the stocking in her hands dripping wet. "Wait a few minutes, Jake, I'll come with you," she stated exasperatedly.

"I need a little time alone, Babe. I need to process what you just told me. I'll be back shortly and then we'll go to dinner," I answered gently, trying not to start an argument.

"Dammit, Jake! Either do a toe to toe with me on this or forget it. Don't make a big deal out of this," she suddenly yelled in frustration.

"Nessie," I took a calming breath so I didn't snap at her, "I'm trying to let it go. If I'm going to do that I need to blow off some steam."

"Whatever, Jake."

_Oh – fuck. 'Whatever' means she's really pissed. _

"I'm going to finish cleaning these." She turned her back on me and stormed back into the bathroom to finish her task.

I sat down on the bed with my head in my hands. I wouldn't be running. I was fucking doing a toe to toe on my honeymoon just before a date. _Just couldn't let it go, Jake. You had to know why she cared more about cleaning the pearls than damaging a fucking sock. They're fucking jewelry of course they're expensive, idiot! Oh but you had to know exactly how expensive. You couldn't just smile and nod and get ready for your date after fantastic sex and a spectacular blow job from your amazing wife. Just had to push her a little further. Just had to know. Fucking numbskull!_

She came out of the bathroom a while later with the pearls laid out on a hand towel. She laid them on the dresser. She was still naked and perfect.

"I thought you were running," she stated coldly. She turned and pulled a short white robe out of the dresser and tied it at the waist. She walked out to the balcony and didn't look at me. She closed the door behind her. She leaned against the railing.

_She's livid. _

I opened the balcony door. I put a hand gently on her shoulder.

She spun with rage in her eyes and threw off my hand. "Do not touch me right now. _I_ need to be alone."

I deserved the rejection, but it still stung. "We need to talk," I said softly.

"_Now_ you want to talk? Go run! I need time alone to gather my thoughts! If we were home I'd be in the closet right now! But, we're not home! We're on a cruise ship in a small room! We can't get away from each other!" She started crying and slid to the floor of the balcony.

I went to pick her up.

"DO _NOT_ TOUCH ME!"

I didn't answer her. I went to my knees in front of her and wrapped my arms around her.

She took a deep breath and calmed herself; tears were still falling, but she was composed. "Jacob Ephraim Black, take your hands off me this instant." Her tone was so icy that I instantly removed my hands.

I needed to say something, but only one word escaped my lips. "Red." I stood up, walked into the bedroom, gently closed the door to the balcony, and sat on the couch. I needed to wait for her to be ready. I could see her through the glass door; she was sitting in the fetal position crying and I couldn't go to her. I had put her there. I had to wait for her to come to me. I just watched her and hoped we could resolve this.

Fifteen minutes later she wiped her eyes and stood. She walked into the bedroom and looked me straight in the eyes. "Were going toe to toe. It's not an option. It's happening here and now. I expect you to explain yourself to me." She pulled a chair out and set it in front of me.

"I'm sorry," I said softly.

"I know, but I'm gonna need a heck of a lot more than that if you expect forgiveness."

"What do you need?"

"First, I need you to explain what about the pearls made you need to blow off steam and then you need to explain why you didn't respect me on the balcony." She folded her arms and was clearly angry, but I could see she was very sad too.

"I'm sorry I pushed, Nessie. I should have let it go when you told me you needed to wash them and that they were expensive. Please try to see it from my side though I just had an amazing sexual experience and I find out that my wife used a family heirloom as a sex toy. Family heirlooms get passed down – so, God willing, our children will get them one day. There's something really sick about the idea of giving one of our children something that we used in a sexual act."

"Can I ask you a couple questions before you decide I'm some sort of sick freak?" she asked, scathingly.

"You're not a..."

"Just answer the damn question, Jacob," she snapped impatiently.

"Ask me anything."

"If you could have any car your heart desired and money weren't an object what would it be?"

"Promise me you'll never buy it for me and I'll tell you." I knew that Nessie was fully capable of such outrageous generosity, and that I did not need such extravagance.

She swallowed hard and I saw pain flash in her eyes. "I promise."

"Bugatti Veyron."

"How much does this car sell for?"

"Over two million," I replied, not sure where she was going with this.

"Okay – Jacob – be honest. If you had that car would you have sex with me in it or on it?"

"Most definitely."

"Okay – would you keep this car in excellent condition and clean up any messes we made _fucking_?"

The way she said fucking was so cold, it sent a shiver down my spine. I answered quickly wanting to appease her, "Of course."

"If you still owned this car at your death would you bequeath it to one of our children?"

I didn't answer. She was right. _Why is what we just did any different than my fantasy of owning a Bugatti and making love to my wife on my car. My fantasy was worse because it cost a fuck of a lot more. _ I finally answered. "Yes. I understand. I'm sorry."

"I don't think you understand yet. That was only a hypothetical. We need to address the economic disparity of our families and I can't tip toe around you for the rest of our lives afraid that every time you hear the cost of something you're going to freak out. I told you that you didn't want to know. I should have realized you would freak out once you found out and not have used them at all, but what's done is done. I can't turn back the clock to a couple hours ago when I decided to use the black pearls. Heck, I should have used the white pearls, but they aren't as well made and I was worried about breaking them and I really wanted to give you a pearl hand job. It was my choice I was in control and you should have just trusted my judgment when I told you that I didn't want to tell you their value," she railed.

She touched my watch. I saw tears glimmering in her eyes, but her rage seemed to be keeping her from crying. "Jacob, do you understand that I felt guilty about giving you that after the rehearsal dinner? I had to write an entirely new card with an explanation so you wouldn't feel bad receiving a gift from me. I should have had a right to give you any gift I wanted for our wedding. It shouldn't have been tainted because of money."

"I'm sorry you felt guilty about the watch. I love it." I took her hand trying to make contact in anyway she would allow.

"I knew you would, but I need you to trust me about money. You don't."

"I do trust you," I insisted.

"No, you don't. You trust me not to overspend within limits, but you need to know I have limits. Jacob, I happily set those limits because I want you to feel like I can live within our means, but honestly, it shouldn't be necessary. I set those limits because I love you and I'm sensitive to the fact that you need those at the start of our marriage. You are a strong, proud man. I know what you need and you needed me to set those limits so that you would feel able to meet my needs. I hope that one day you'll trust me enough to let go of the need for limits on the trust spending. I know we aren't there yet. I hope to one day be able to buy you things I want to and not worry about what you'll say when you find out the cost. I hope that one day I can send you to the dry cleaners to pick up our clothes and not have to worry that you are going to bitch that the prices are outrageous. Have I asked you once, how much money you spent on this cruise?"

"No." I whispered, ashamed of my behavior. My heart ached knowing how much I had hurt my wife.

"Do you know why I haven't asked?"

"I assumed you thought it would be rude to ask," I answered.

"No, your assumption failed to consider that I, as a wife, have the right to ask my new husband how much money we have in the bank and how much this vacation cost us. So, rudeness would not be the reason," she stated firmly.

"Then why haven't you asked?" I asked, softly.

"Because I trust you about money Jake. I just assigned your name to my trust and got you a no limit credit card attached to it. I trust that you wouldn't ever abuse that access or spend outside our means. You don't have that same level of trust in me. I've watched it even as I've worked to spend down the gambling money which we agreed needs to be spent before we return home. You know the money needs to be spent, but I can tell you think the purchases are outlandish. I can read your face, Jake. Do you think I ever would have bought Kona coffee or those Macadamia nut baskets if I were using our regular money?"

"You probably would have bought one pound of coffee and one basket of Macadamia nuts."

"I'll give you that, but I have the means to buy one of each."

"I wouldn't have batted an eyelash at one of each."

"I know. What about the other things I've bought? If I didn't have the gambling money what would I have done instead?"

"You would have bought cotton Hawaiian shirts instead of silk and you would have bought tiny Koa wood products instead of big products and you probably wouldn't have bought the other stuff at all."

"You're right. Now, would you have been comfortable if all I brought on our honeymoon for money access was my black card and I used it for those sorts of purchases without pause?"

"No," I admitted sheepishly.

"That's what I mean. If I used my black card you would assume that the money was coming out of the trust and that I wasn't monitoring my spending as closely. Let me be crystal clear. I may not know the daily value of the trust because of fluctuating interest rates, but I know to the penny what I have purchased on the black card in any given month and generally I pay the bills out of my checking account. It's rare that I pay any bills out of the trust fund other than taxes that are related to interest. Our wedding gifts were an obvious exception. Jacob, at any given moment could you tell me within fifty dollars what you have purchased on your credit card in that month?"

"Probably not."

"I know. I've seen you on our dates," she told me gently as she patted my hand.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused. My behavior on dates had always been appropriate.

"You don't check the bill before you hand over your credit card because you think it would be rude to me. It's not. I know you keep a general tally in your head from the menu, but I'm meticulous about little things like that. I always read the entire bill anywhere before I pay it to be sure I'm not getting charged for something I wasn't provided with. I know you were trying to be romantic and assure me that you were prepared to pay whatever the bill was and I appreciate that, but I trust you about money and you don't trust me in the same way. Am I wrong?"

_Was she wrong? No. Damn me for being a control freak with her._

"No, I'm sorry, I guess I thought money didn't matter as much to you because you've always had it."

"Jacob, I was raised in a family where Dad worked hard for the money we had and insured himself and Mom so Bella and I would always be well cared for. Mom's work as a school teacher was for her enjoyment rather than out of necessity. I was taught that success is much sweeter when you work for it. Jacob, why haven't you ever asked me why I was applying for scholarships when Uncle Carl and Aunt Esme wanted to pay for my education fully and completely?"

"It just wasn't something I worried about – you were always proud of being scholarship funded. I never really understood why it matter to you, but I knew it made you happy and I tried not to think of it as you taking a scholarship from a kid who couldn't afford the school otherwise."

"First, let me say that by attending each school I got a scholarship to I guaranteed that three kids who couldn't afford the school would be given scholarships each year."

_What?_

"Second, let me explain that I like to earn my way into things and by earning merit based scholarships I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment."

"Wait – go back what do you mean you guaranteed three kids scholarships?"

"Uncle Carl, Aunt Esme, and Bella each felt a responsibility to pay for my education at Forest Ridge. I told them I'd rather earn my own way. They each made an anonymous donation to the need based scholarship fund for the amount of four years tuition and fees after I was accepted and offered my scholarship. I had Uncle Carl make a similar anonymous donation from the trust to SU as soon as I was accepted."

"I never consider that possibility. To be totally honest I had no idea why getting scholarships made you so happy. I guess I get it now."

"I earned them; I have a right to be proud."

"Yes, you do."

"I know you're a saver, Jake. I've known that since I was thirteen. Not many people could have saved enough to open a garage a couple years out of college. You lived in that tiny efficiency for a long time because it was cheap and near Bella and I. Did you think I didn't understand that you did that so you could save your pennies? You've probably only had roommates so you could save up more money. I assume that this whole honeymoon is paid for out of that savings. I won't ask how much it cost because you are proud to be able to give it to me and because I implicitly trust your judgment. Regardless of what we're talking about I trust you to do the right thing for both of us. I don't expect you to change overnight because of this conversation, but I do expect you to start trying not to worry about money. Please, Jacob, try to respect my judgment especially when it comes to things that I stepped into our marriage owning. Technically, I'll be a partner in your business after we get all our financial paperwork done. How would you feel if I walked into the shop and just started going through things and passing judgment about the way you and Rose operate the business? Do you think I would ever disrespect you like that?" She paused as I considered what she had just said.

"I just never thought of it that way. I'm sorry for disrespecting your judgment. I'll try to let go of the financial stuff, but it's going to be a struggle for me."

"Do you think I don't know that?" She took a deep breath. "Do you even know why I got upset? Do you even know why I needed time alone?" Her eyes were still very angry.

"I was more concerned about money than your feelings and you needed to figure out how to put me in my place."

A single tear streamed down her cheek. I tried to catch it, but she wiped it away too quickly. "No, Jake." She laughed sadly. "I knew when we entered our relationship that money was always going to be a struggle between us. If that were what I was upset about I wouldn't have needed time alone because I was prepared for that. You know me better than anyone and yet you can't see this." She sounded defeated almost like she couldn't keep fighting a losing battle.

I softly touched her shoulders. "What am I not seeing, Ness?"

"What is the one thing you cherish above all else, Jacob?"

"You," I answered without hesitation.

"Why would I be any different?"

"I don't understand, Ness. I understand how much you love me. I just don't understand why you're so upset."

"You can't accept my love!"

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"You find flaws with the way I choose to love you! You can't accept my gifts! You can't accept my acts of love without needing to get away from me." She started crying.

"Baby, I made a mistake – I fucked up, but I know how much you love me," I spoke softly as I pulled her to me. "I'm sorry if I made you feel bad. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I was just in shock when you told me about the pearls. I needed to process it. I didn't mean to blow this out of proportion. I promise – I'll try never to make you feel bad about doing something nice for me again. Please forgive me, Nessie?"

Her crying quieted. "Thank you for promising to try. I forgive you. I'm sorry for being so bitchy on the balcony."

"Shh... you weren't being bitchy. You needed space and instead of giving it to you I pushed you until you snapped. You made it perfectly clear what you needed. I was being selfish and wanted to hold you. I'm sorry, Nessie, for not respecting your needs."

"I forgive you, but why did you say, 'Red?' It was strange and I didn't understand the timing of it. It wasn't like I could turn my emotions off like a light switch and just forget any of this ever happened."

"Sorry about that too, Ness. There was a part of me that thought maybe you were still in top space. Physically, we had finished, but I was worried that emotionally, you hadn't returned to normal. I thought maybe if I safe worded you would realize we weren't in the scene anymore and if that was causing your reaction, I had a chance, albeit small, to snap you out of it. I should have spent more time helping you come back to normal before I even considered leaving you alone." I took a deep breath and held her tight. "What has become crystal clear to me is that my old time lines no longer matter. I need to stop putting you at risk emotionally because I made a stupid rule when we started dating. I want to get you some books and I want you to talk to Edward when we get home and I want you to have a sub mentor in the scene."

"But – I – I thought you wanted to wait a year."

"Not if your lack of knowledge puts you at risk."

"What do you mean? I'm safe with you."

"Nessie, this wasn't our first scene. This was our third."

"Third? I only remember the balcony. When was the other?"

"Prom night. I've pushed the boundaries and I'm sorry. It's a blurry line and sometimes you don't know when you've crossed it until you're way past the line. I need to know that you can recognize a scene and realize that you have the ability to stop it at anytime. I need you to be educated and confident enough to be able to set limits about play. And, when we switch I need you to know that even though I am in the bottom role for the scene – I'm still focused on nothing, but you and your needs. I'm letting go of control for a limited time, but I'm still the dominant partner and I have a duty to provide aftercare. I fucked that up today. I thought we were done and you were fine. I wasn't paying enough attention to your emotional state and I got wrapped up in something else. I was an asshole to even suggest leaving you when you were still vulnerable from a scene. You needed love and support and instead I gave you disapproval and apathy. I'm sorry."

She kissed my cheek softly while I rubbed her back. "It's okay, my Jacob. I forgive you – you're taking care of me now." 

I held her in my lap for a while longer and then she got up and said, "Are you still up for our date, Jacob?"

"Yeah, but now we need to do the late dinner, lucky I chose the anytime dining options." I smiled.

We showered and then she did her hair and make up while I got dressed. She quickly gathered her hair into a twist with her curls piled on top of her head. She asked me to step out to the balcony when I was done so she could let me see the effect of the entire outfit at one time. I also knew she liked her lingerie to be a surprise.

The balcony door opened and she was standing there in a floor length gown made with multiple blues, a dark turquoise shiny wrap draped around her elbows and a small light blue purse. She looked elegant and stunning.

"Wow, you look beautiful."

"Jacob, I have one more thing to add, but I need you to choose. Alice sent one thing and this afternoon I changed my mind about it, but then after our argument, I'm not sure you would be comfortable with my choice." She looked really unsure about whatever she was about to ask.

"What are you talking about?" I smiled to try to ease her discomfort.

"Never mind," her face flushed, "I'll just wear what Alice sent."

"Nessie, I'd be honored to choose. I love you. You don't need to be embarrassed with me."

"It's not that; I just don't want to upset you and my choice might be awkward." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Wear your choice not Alice's." It wasn't a suggestion; I was in control again. "If it's awkward we'll deal with it together, but I don't want you tiptoeing around me _ever_. Do you understand Nessie?"

"Yes, Jacob." She blushed again and we walked back into the bedroom together.

She picked the black pearls up and put them around her neck. I was a little surprised by her choice. I'd ask about it later. Now I needed to cut through the tension. I stepped up to her and kissed her passionately. She melted into my embrace. When I pulled back I smiled and said, "Still stunning. You have excellent taste. I love you."

"I love you too, my Jacob." She had a dazed smile on. We went to dinner and to the ballroom dancing event and then returned to the room. Throughout the night she kept stroking the pearls absently. All I could think of was how they'd been wrapped around my cock covered in her cum a few hours earlier.

"Nessie, I love your dress, but I can't wait to see what you have on under it." I kissed her and held her to me while unzipping her dress. I dropped it to the floor and then removed my clothes. She was wearing a soft blue lace corset and matching thong and glittery blue fuck me heels in addition to the black pearl necklace. "I've been dying to ask all night, but didn't want you to feel awkward. Why'd you wear the pearls."

"You know how I like being marked by you. Well since you won't give me hickeys until we talk, I had an idea of wearing something only you and I would know the significance of, but was clearly a mark of possession. I had the plan to wear them the entire time I was using them on you, but then after the toe to toe I wasn't sure you'd approve."

Her words made my dick harden. I would have loved to have known that was why she wore them.

I stroked the pearls along her neckline. "Fuck, Baby, I wish you'd told me before we went out that would have made the date so fucking hot. I did enjoy seeing them draped around your delicate neck, but I wish I'd known you were seeing them in the same way I was. I think I would have skipped dancing had I known." I kissed her deeply.

She moaned and melted into my embrace. I undid her corset and slipped her panties off her.

She moved her hands up behind her neck. I wanted her to leave the pearls on. "Leave them on," I commanded as I broke the kiss.

Her eyes were startled like she hadn't expected me to say that. "I was letting down my hair," she explained softly.

"Leave it up," I said gently. "I like the access and the view." I kissed her just below her hairline along her neck. "I love you, _my_ Nessie. Let me take care of you."

"Always, my Jacob."

I spent the next two hours making slow sweet love to her. I kissed every inch of her glorious body. I brought her to release multiple times before I allowed myself to even consider finding my own release. She was mine and I was hers.

~*O*~

**Coming Up:**

"**Okay." I decided to drop the subject, but I had something else I thought I should ask Becks. "Can I ask you something?"**

"**Of course." She smiled.**

"**Do you know what happened between Billy and Jake?"**

"**Yes, but I can't tell you. If you want to know you need to ask, Jacob." She paused and then added softly, "Be gentle, May, it's incredibly painful for him. He respects and loves Billy so much and what happened was unfortunate, but necessary."**

"**Does Rachel know?"**

"**Only that there was a fight; she doesn't know the details; Jake didn't want her to know. I only know because I tried to play peacemaker."**

"**So only the three of you know?"**

"**Billy would never tell anyone and I assume neither would Jake and I'll take it to my grave."**

"**Thank you for keeping his secrets even from me. I know you love him."**

**~*O*~**

**Thanks for sticking with me for the long chapter and A/N. Please review.**


	24. Talk it Over

**Author's Note: I had a request from a reader to just put chapter specific Ans, by now you should know this is BDSM/ D/s/DD and not an instruction manual.**

**Sorry for the delay I got a little blocked and the pregnancy has been a lot tougher than I expected. Thanks to Pemberly Rose for helping me work through my block and to Sawny94 for beta'ing and for giving me an idea for the mini lemon in this chapter.**

**Follow me on twitter Efficient_Vixen.**

**Twilight is the property of Stephenie Meyer.**

~*O*~

_Baby girl I need more _

_Now run your mouth 'til your knees sore _

_Let's talk it over _

_Let's talk it over _

_Let's talk it over now_

Little Wayne_ ~ Let's Talk it Over_

~*O*~

Chapter 24: Talk it Over

RPOV

I woke up still wearing my pearls. I decided to leave them on for the day. Yes, they had caused some pain, but they had also brought us both joy the day before. They now symbolized love for me, sometimes passionate and beautiful other times painful and hard to lay my eyes on, but always intense.

We arrived in Honolulu in the morning and I gathered up our clothes and the scarf I had used in my game with Jake for same day dry cleaning. I really did not want to have laundry to deal with when we got home. Jake had never told me when our flight was, but the cruise ended tomorrow. Therefore, since I assumed we would be leaving tomorrow, this was our last port; our last night to spend in this room. I wanted to make sure I got everything done. We were doing some light hiking this morning through the valley of the rainbows and then we were going to a luau tonight. There was nothing on the itinerary for tomorrow.

"Jake?" I asked as we were leaving the cleaners.

"Yes?" he replied, his tone playful.

"What time is our flight tomorrow? I need to know if I have to stay up and pack tonight or if I should leave it for the morning."

"Why did you think we were flying out tomorrow?" His eyes gleamed mischievously.

"We're not?" I asked confused. "But, the cruise is over tomorrow."

He grinned widely, "I thought you might like the opportunity to spend some quality time with Becks and Jon."

"What? I thought they were still in La Push?"

"No they flew back today. They're meeting us tomorrow for lunch and we'll stay with them on Friday and Saturday night and then we're flying back on an overnight flight that gets into SEA-TAC at seven a.m. on Monday. I figured if you were jet lagged you could get a few more hours sleep before you had class on Monday. Is that cool, Babe?" He stopped briefly to assess my mood.

"Yeah, it's great. I'm just surprised."

He chuckled, then wrapped an arm around my shoulders and continued walking. "Good. I'd been wondering how long it would take you to ask."

We enjoyed our day and I didn't feel pressure to spend gambling money now that I knew we had a couple more days. I still had well over ten thousand dollars to spend, but I already had to buy another suitcase in the morning to pack our purchases in. I was thinking about buying us each a surf board to surf in La Push. I was more comfortable with the idea now that I knew Jon would be around he could give us each lessons and help me pick out two boards from his shop. The day in Honolulu was beautiful and I understand why luaus are such a big deal now. There were dancers and fire performers and it was awesome. We had a wonderful time.

Jake and I made love until the early morning hours and I had no idea how I was going to handle my need for him when we got home. We had spent practically every moment together for the last sixteen blissful days and would be spending the next three similarly. When we got home we would be back to our normal lives I would have school and he would have work. It would feel horrible to be separated from him all day after having all this amazing time by his side. He was my center. He kept me focused, calm, and in sync. I was going to miss that.

~*O*~

Jacob assisted me with the packing in the morning and we did need the additional large suitcase we purchased on board to hold all our new items. Jake managed to link our bags together and insisted that he could handle them all himself despite my protests. He only allowed me to carry my purse and a small knapsack of dirty clothes after I insisted on carrying them myself. When we got off the ship Jon was holding up a sign that said 'BLACK,' Jake saw him first and laughed at the sign. Apparently, Jake's family had some sort of inside joke where they'd pretend to be chauffeurs for each other.

Jon took two of the bags from Jake while Becks and I hugged and chatted about our vacations. She was wonderful. Rachel was fun, but matronly in her personality. Becks was a lot more laid back; she was sassy, sisterly, and fun. I had always enjoyed watching Jake interact with Raych, but there were clearly boundaries that they each laid and sometimes their behavior toward each other seemed tense. They could joke, but there was underlying tension. His relationship with Becks seemed a lot closer even with the geographic differences. There weren't any boundaries with Becks; he could be physically playful and he could swear and be himself without her even blinking. It was as if she knew the Jacob that I always thought only I knew. She knew vulnerable and protective Jake and he had no fear of showing her either side of himself. His relationship with Jon was brotherly, but not as close as he was with Paul. When we were at Rachel's house he spent most of his time with Paul and let Raych and I get to know each other. Here things were different. He spent most of his time with Becks and me or the four of us would all hang out. Becks had no shame whatsoever asking about how the sex was. I couldn't even imagine Rachel asking me that, much less with her brother in the room.

I blushed furiously.

Jake wasn't even phased by her question. He just gave me a cocky grin and said, "Feel free to tell her how great I am, Ness. I've been subjected to years of her torture telling me what an amazing lover Jon is."

Jon choked on his juice at this statement and Rebecca laughed.

"Becky, you talk to Jacob about us having sex?" Jon asked incredulously when he finished spluttering.

"Dude!" Jacob laughed, "I was twelve and the walls in that little house in La Push are so thin. How could I not know! Listening to you two was like a sick porn. I had just started masturbating and I had to listen to you fucking my sister like rabbits. You fucking even used my bed once!"

The shock on Jon's face was comical and I barely suppressed a giggle. "How the hell do you know we used your bed? We washed and changed the sheets after," Jon answered.

"I fucking knew it was you two," Jake laughed again. "You left behind a _used _condom. I knew it wasn't Rachel; she's too much of a Daddy's girl."

"That is so gross," I said softly.

"How do you think I felt when I found a used condom on the floor beside my bed?"

I shuddered at the idea.

"Why the fuck did you two even use my room?" He asked still busting their chops.

"Raych was home and didn't want us in our bedroom while she was sleeping and you were sleeping over at Emmett's," Becks nonchalantly answered as if she was talking about the weather.

"Becky, how much have you told your _little brother_ about _our_ sex life?" Jon asked, his voice becoming more demanding as the strange conversation continued.

"Nothing I wouldn't tell Rachel," she said softly, obviously concerned she'd upset Jon.

"Jon," Jake's voice now had an edge to it. "_I _asked _her_ about sex. She just told me how I could be better in bed in general terms nothing graphic."

"Outside, Jacob! You and I need to have a chat," Jon answered. Jake smiled at me as if to say everything was cool and I shouldn't worry as he got up and headed outside with Jon.

"Is everything going to be okay?" I asked as soon as the door closed behind the guys. I was concerned it seemed like our husbands were very upset.

"Don't worry, May. They have to go wrestle for a little while." She patted my hand reassuringly.

"Wrestle?"

"Jake, tends to be a little overprotective of me and when Jon and I start to argue he usually interferes. I've told him not to, but he can't help himself. His urge to protect me is just a bit primal, like a tame version of his urge to protect you. He never hesitates to face Jon and possibly take a beating for me, but he'd die for you."

I shivered at the thought of Jake sacrificing his safety for another, even for myself. I hated the thought of him being beaten or hurt, but the bullet comment horrified me. There was no way that I deserved that level of devotion. "I know he's protective, but a beating? You told me not to worry," I was confused

"This happens every time Jon and I spend time with Jake without any other family around. Jake and I easily fall into our natural selves when it's just the two of us and eventually I say something that upsets my husband. Jake always interferes and they always go out and wrestle and then Jon and I deal with our issues in private later. Skill wise they're about at the same level and nobody ever gets badly hurt."

"Is Jake worried Jon will hurt you or something?"

She laughed at my question. "Jon would never do anything to me that I didn't want." I noticed she didn't answer my question. "Jake knows that. He just let's the urge to protect overwhelm his logic sometimes."

"Okay." I decided to drop the subject, besides there was something else I wanted to ask and I knew that with Jake outside there was no better time. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." She smiled, encouragingly.

"Do you know what happened between Billy and Jake?"

She stiffened at the question. "Yes, but I can't tell you. If you want to know you need to ask, Jacob." She paused and then added softly, "Be gentle, May, it's incredibly painful for him. He respects and loves Billy so much and what happened was unfortunate, but necessary."

"Does Rachel know?" I asked, sadly. It seemed like everyone except me knew what happened.

"Only that there was a fight; she doesn't know the details; Jake didn't want her to know. I only know because I tried to play peacemaker."

"So only the three of you know?"

"Billy would never tell anyone and I assume neither would Jake and I'll take it to my grave," she promised.

"Thank you for keeping his secrets, even from me. I know you love him."

"If you want to know just ask him. He'll tell you." I didn't know if I could ask him. I had been thinking about it since old Quil approached me and I honestly wasn't sure what to do. Two things kept echoing in my mind: what Becks said, 'he respects and loves Billy so much' and what Quil said, 'you are their only chance at being a family again.'

The men came back in later and while they were dirty, they seemed to be in no worse condition and their moods were both more jovial. Becks and Jon headed off to their room to clean up, while Jake and I headed to the guest bathroom.

I sat Jake down on the toilet and stood between his splayed legs. A cocky smile was plastered on his face as I lifted the dirty shirt off of him. I started the shower, turning the knob and tested the temperature. Jake's large hands began moving up my leg, pulling me closer, as I turned back towards him. "So, Mrs. Black, you never did answer. How _is_ the sex?" His lips turned up into a mischievous smile.

I couldn't stop my own smiled as I answered him, "Great. My husband is amazing, much better then those other guys before," my giggle turned into a small squeak as his hand landed a light swat on my backside.

He'd never done that before. He'd only every grabbed, caressed, or rubbed my bottom; he had never smacked it. This was new, and boy did I like it. A shot of pure desire shot straight through me, hitting my core, and starting an ache that only he could appease. My eyes locked with his.

His smile belied his mock serious tone. "Not funny baby. You are mine, only mine." His hands began to rub the slight sting out.

His possessive words only making me even hotter.

Jake's eyes darkened with desire. His hands reached under my shorts, under my panties, and began stroking my naked flesh. "Did that turn you on Ness? You liked it when I smacked your ass?"

Not trusting myself to speak I nodded my head. I could feel my arousal soaking my panties. "Well... we'll have to do something about this, huh?" His fingers hooked into my waistband and pulled my shorts and underwear down and off my legs.

We quickly stripped the remainder of our clothes off and stepped into the shower. We took our time washing every inch of each other and then we made love in the shower. He was careful to remind me that if I screamed Becks and Jon would hear so I did my best to keep my volume low.

~*O*~

We had a great time with Becks and Jon. He gave us surf lessons and I was able to spend down the rest of my winnings on two custom made boards from Jon's shop that he would ship to us before the following summer. I was glad that we were able to keep the money in the family and yet let Jon earn it at a fair price. On Saturday night, we went clubbing and had a great time. I was sad to leave on Sunday evening when we got to the airport to wait for our flight.

While we waited in front of the gate at the airport, I looked at the tickets; they were first class. "Jake, these are first class tickets," I said shocked.

"I know," he stated factually.

I wanted to say something about the amount of money they obviously cost, but I had told him I trusted his judgment implicitly. Therefore, I smiled and said, "Thank you."

I guess I didn't convince him because he elaborated, "You're welcome, but I'll explain since I can tell you don't understand. First, I had sky miles from the trip to Florida six years ago; Esme registered us all. Second, the cruise provided double miles and my credit card has double mile rewards, so since I booked the cruise on my card it was like getting quadruple miles. So the seats were free and I wanted us to be able to stretch out and sleep on the flight since I'm hoping to be able to get back to work tomorrow and you're planning on going to school."

"Oh." I smiled for real. "Thank you for the explanation; I really appreciate it even if I didn't ask for it."

On the flight, Jake told me that Bella and Edward had taken a day trip to Vancouver to get my car, so we didn't need to worry about that. I tried to get Jake to join the Mile High Club, but he said I was too loud and that we'd leave that for another trip. Finally, I settled in and slept until we reached Seattle.

~*O*~

JPOV

We took a cab from the airport and stepped into our house for the first time as a married couple. I wanted to do things right, so against Nessie's protests, I carried her across the threshold. I told her that I wanted our entry into the house to be romantic, but I was also hoping that it might lead to something more intimate and carnal upstairs. Unfortunately, Nessie spotted the gifts in the dining room before I could whisk her to our bed and have my way with her. We both knew the week would be incredibly busy for both of us and, being the practical lady I loved, she wanted to take care of the gifts so we wouldn't have to worry about them later. I resigned myself to the task and set her down.

I was a bit surprised that there were so many gifts since we had asked people to donate money or time instead of giving us things, but I guess people were just generous. Nessie wrote down all the gifts and loved all the handmade things from my friends and family. I asked her if she wanted me to write any of the thank you notes, but she insisted it was one of the things she really looked forward to doing. After the gifts were open, I pulled her close and began placing soft kisses along her neck, running my hands down her back and squeezing her round ass.

Amazingly, she pulled away again and began to deal with unpacking and apologized, "Jake I can't... not 'til all of this is done, please."

I realized then that she just needed to get settled or her entire week would be out of whack.

Resigned to a sex free morning I decided I might as well leave her to her tasks. "Nessie, do you mind if I go to work or do you want me to help you get things organized here?"

"No, go ahead. I'm sure you want to touch base with Rose and I need to get this done and then get over to school and get my books and such."

I kissed her goodbye, told her I loved her, and headed off to the shop.

Everything was running smoothly at work, but Rose had stacks of paperwork on my desk for me to deal with. She'd deposited all the money and handled all the credit card receipts, but I had to reconcile the last three weeks of work orders to those deposits. I should have hired a temp to do the bookkeeping while we were gone, but I didn't trust a stranger to handle our books.

At lunch after chatting with Rose about the shop, I decided we needed to have a talk about her pressuring Ness. I told her some good stuff about our honeymoon and then said, "Name one sexual thing you don't like."

Rose paused a minute. We were never shy about talking about anything but she seemed like she needed to think about how to answer. "Ummm... anal."

I nodded. "'Kay, now imagine I don't know that and I were to go to Emmett and tell him all about how great anal is and how much I believe you'd enjoy it."

She laughed. "I don't think that would work – Emmett knows what I'm into and what I'm not."

I needed her to understand what she was doing. "Just imagine for a second that Emmett is a bit naïve and easily pushed around especially about sex. How would you feel if he followed my advice and ignored what he knew about you?"

She laughed sharply. "I'd be pretty pissed and I'd give Emmett a load of shit for not paying attention to me."

"Well that's the situation you put Nessie and me in. Please Rose don't give her anymore advice about sex or being sexy. Nessie's fucking sexy without any help from you. She doesn't need to wear leather and chains, get bikini waxes, or put on backless shirts," I responded seriously.

"Are you telling me you didn't enjoy those things?" she asked with a roll of her eyes.

"That's really not your concern, Rose." I sighed. "The point is that Nessie won't stand up to you and I'm the only person she needs to please, so just back off and let my wife learn how to make me happy without putting pressure on her. You're my business partner and I really don't think it's your place to pressure my wife about sex."

"Okay, Jake. I'll keep my mouth shut from now on and won't pressure her," she said sincerely.

After lunch while I was wrapping up the paper work I gave Edward a call and we decided to get together after work. Nessie had a late night class on Mondays so she and Seth were eating together on campus before their last class. Basically the two of them had identical schedules, but Seth had an extra ROTC class and PT. First year students had to work on gen ed requirements before they could do major course work. So she and Seth decided they wanted to be study partners.

Knowing we were going to have to have a serious and explicit conversation, we decided to go to a sports bar where it would be loud enough not to worry about other people overhearing us. Edward gave the hostess a tip to get us a table in a corner so we could see anyone who got near. I told him about everything: the collar incident, the switch scene, my fuck up on after-care, how I dealt with Rosalie, my fears that I couldn't ever collar Nessie, her obvious needs to have a real D/s relationship, and my decision not to wait a year. I also told him how pissed I was that Bella hadn't warned Ness about the the implications of a collar. Edward just listened making minimal comments until I was done.

"Okay, Jacob, do you want me to talk to you about how you fucked up beyond what you've already told me or do you want advice on what to do next?"

"Honestly, man, I'd appreciate both." I took a swig of my beer.

"Okay, let's start with Bella because I need to address that. I'll find out what she was thinking when she didn't warn May about the collar. I would've been livid if Bella had ever done something like that and she knows it, but she is my wife and my sub and I'll handle her. I don't think you should discuss it with her at all and I'd encourage the girls to talk amongst themselves, if either of them wants to. Is that okay with you?"

I nodded. He was right – I really had no right to give Bella shit about anything.

"Now, you're not going to want to hear this, but you fucked up today with Rose. You should have had May handle Rose herself."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"Jacob, you know I had a bunch of subs before Bella. From my experience, I'll tell you that May made a classic mistake and that you let her get away with it." I opened my mouth to respond, but he held up a hand to ask me to hear him out. "May just gave her submission to someone else when she let Rose push her around. That'll keep happening until she learns to stand up for herself. It's a really tough thing for a submissive to learn."

"What d'ya mean? Why didn't I ever see Bella do this if it's so common?" I winced at the shrill tone my voice took as I felt my defenses rising, he was telling me that I had all around fucked up on everything.

"Okay, let's say everyone is on a ten point scale of dominance and submission. The two extremes would be a pure Dominant who had no submissive tendencies and a pure submissive who had no dominant tendencies. I've never met anyone who meets either extreme and can function in normal society. Assume for a second that I have a nine for dominance and a one for submission – I'll submit to my boss, police officers, and my parents as needed. Assume Bella's just the opposite a one – nine submissive. She'll stand up for herself only when absolutely necessary, but because she is so submissive she always puts her Dominant's needs foremost in her mind. In just about every encounter she has – she asks herself, 'What would Edward expect me to do in this situation?' Bella is kind of an extreme case, so she's special in that sense. She intuitively understands that she needs to put my needs first even if it makes her uncomfortable, so if someone puts pressure on her to do something she'll refuse if she thinks I would be unhappy about it."

"Okay, so where do Ness and I fall on your scale?"

"You'd probably be a 7-3 dominant and she'd be the opposite. Give or take a point in either direction. That's why you have a problem, May hasn't learned that submission is an amazing gift that has to be earned rather than simply given away. You're trained, but I wouldn't call you an experienced Dom; she's not trained and she's inexperienced in both the vanilla lifestyle and the scene. You need to be extra careful and really talk through _everything_ before you try anything with her."

My head was swimming with the thoughts swirling through my brain. The stress of knowing how large of a task I had in front of me was overwhelming. "Yeah, I know. I don't want to hurt her and a part of me fears she'll agree to things because she thinks I want them instead of really considering the things she wants. That's why I want her to sit down and talk with you before we do any scenes or a negotiation."

"You trust her, right?" Edward asked gently, knowing how hard this was for me.

"Of course," I scoffed.

"Well, you know these relationships are grounded in trust, honesty, and open communication. If you're worried you need to tell her that. You need to emphasize how important her honesty is especially in the negotiation. You also need to drill into her that there's no shame in using her safe word. She's new at this and may think 'wow that looks fun' and then panic when she tries it. I expect you know her physical cues well enough to know if she's panicking even if she doesn't safe word."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can read her body well enough to know if she needs me to stop, but I definitely want her to safe word if she needs to."

"Okay, then have May call me and she and I can get together sometime and talk about the scene. Now as far as your concerns about collaring go I think you overreacted to an unexpected situation. I really doubt you'll feel that way if you're mentally prepared for it and you do the collaring yourself."

"It was just so –" I searched for the right word, "– shocking, disgusting, I dunno, man, disturbing?"

I could see Edward bite back a smile. "Okay, but there were so many things going on and it wasn't the right time for you. Also remember – you're not into chains so that may have fucked with your perception too. Are you willing to try something?"

"Yeah, I just don't wanna disappoint Nessie."

"I don't think you need to worry about that. Anyway – I think you should buy her a temporary collar just for parties. It may change your mind – think of it as a protection for her – a way to tell other Doms she's yours. After seeing her in your collar you may adjust to the idea and decide to give her something more permanent."

"Yeah, I could try that." I felt a little hope that this could work.

"Add a leash and she'll probably feel even more secure." He smirked.

"I'll think about it," I answered with a smile.

"Are you planning to come to any parties? We're booked as instructors or DMs for the next few I'd recommend. I'm not sure May would be comfortable seeing Bella and I scene, so let me know if you need me to hook you up to the group in Tacoma or if you want me to decline an offer to teach, so you and May can try a party without family around."

"I'll talk to her about it. Are you serious about Bella serving as a Dungeon Monitor?"

He smiled slyly. "It's part of her training. It's a way for her to push herself to stand up to other people even though it makes her uncomfortable. Besides she's one of the better DMs because she focuses mostly on subs. Most other people get distracted by all the action the Dom is doing and miss subtle cues from the submissive. Sometimes Bella notices things that the Dom missed. She's only had to stop a couple scenes, but they were both with newer pairings. One – the girl was so hoarse from being gagged most of the day no one realized she was safe wording except Bella and the other – the man was so ashamed of safe wording that he passed out because he couldn't handle the scene. Bella noticed before his Domme. Both pairings were reprimanded within the community, but it is a danger of new partners. We're generally really safe, but every once in a while a bad scene occurs and the DM has to stop it."

"Does she enjoy that?" I couldn't imagine Bella being comfortable as a DM.

"Not really, but it's making her into a better sub and a more assertive person. We've discussed it and she wants to keep pushing herself. She really wants to be comfortable in authority roles before we have kids."

"You guys are thinking about starting a family?" I asked, shocked. "I thought Bella wanted to wait a few more years."

"She does want to wait a few more years, but Alice is due any day now and we talked about when we should move forward."

"Cool."

"She really wants a few more years as just a couple, but it's not like we have to worry about money. The decision really is just a matter of when we feel ready to be parents. What about you and May?"

"Well she's definitely finishing college first. After that, she wants a big family."

"How big?"

"Four to six kids."

"Do you want that many?"

"With Nessie, I'd love to have a big family. What about you and Bells?"

"We're thinking one or two and at least five years between."

"I think Alice and Jazz are going to be the only ones in the group with kids for a while."

"I thought Rose and Emmett wanted kids immediately too?" he asked me, knowing I knew.

"They do, but they have some medical issues to work through first. They don't want multiples until they've tried naturally so their waiting five years before they try fertility docs. I really thought you and Bella knew this?"

"Bella said they were trying – I didn't know there were any issues she never mentioned them."

"Oh, well you know how Bella is – she likes to pretend the world is perfect and nothing ever goes wrong."

He chuckled knowingly.

"I've heard it from both Emmett and Rose – it's not like it's a secret. I think they just both assumed Bella told you," I told him, not wanting to cause any drama.

"Yeah, sometimes I feel like the odd man out with the group. Like, I'm only here because I'm Bella's husband."

"Dude, don't throw yourself a pity party yet. Jasper and I are your best friends. We're all close, sometimes things just get overlooked. Besides, who else would keep Emmett and I from destroying all the furniture when we screw around. We all need a voice of reason."

We wrapped up the night by finishing our single beer each and eating a bunch of wings. I headed home to wait for Nessie to finish class.

~*O*~

Coming Up:

He spun around so he was facing me. "Yeah – Everything okay?" Concern was etched on his face.

"Well..." I took a deep and then rushed through the rest, "I'monmyperiodanddidn'tknowhowtotellyou." I could feel my cheeks burning.

"Ness – I have know idea what you just said. Can you say it a little slower?"

I looked down, ashamed. "It's that time of the month."


End file.
